DISCLAIMER
I don't own Arthur Dent or any other characters or concepts from the Hitchhiker's Trilogy (in five parts). They belong to the (regrettably) deceased Douglas Adams. I'm just playing with his toys.
A/N: I'm sorry about the delay, apparently there is more to life than writing stories.
Arthur trudged along across the Krikitian landscape. Our intrepid hero paused as he reached the top of a small rise. He put his hand over his eyes to ward off the setting sun as he scanned the countryside for signs of a sub-etha fax machine.
It was then that he saw it. A great big sign, 12 feet tall. It was standing at the bottom of the hill. Written across its blue face in bright pink letters were the words, 'Sub-etha fax machine 7 miles' and below that a pink arrow pointing to the left.
Arthur's heart gave a great leap in his chest. It was such a great leap that it almost strangled him.
Recovering his breath, Arthur started down the hill in the direction of the sign. As he approached, he saw a small path leading from the sign and off to the right. Arthur stopped. He was completely befuddled. The sign pointed left, and yet the path went right. He sat down to ponder it, and maybe eat something.
He sat down with his back to the signpost, and started catching crickets in the grass. When he had enough, Arthur reached into his seemingly bottomless travel-bag and pulled out a frying pan. He lit a small fire and fried the crickets in some Greek olive oil. The very last bottle in the universe. As the bottle was almost empty, Arthur made a note to stop by a filming set for Star Trek and replicate some more olive oil.
As he was pinning the note to the breast pocket of his dressing gown, Arthur saw a figure approaching from the left.
As the figure drew nearer, Arthur saw that it was another hitchhiker like himself. Arthur got up to meat him. Arthur got up to meet him.
The figure stopped when he came to Arthur. Arthur put his hand out and said, "Hi, my name is Arthur Dent and this is my towel." When he said this last, he took his towel out and proffered a filthy corner to the stranger. (Who wasn't looking like a figure anymore now that he was up close. In fact, he looked like one of those Egyptian gods, with the body of a human and the head of a slug. As Arthur looked more intently, he realized that the head didn't just look like a slug, the head was a slug.)
Slughead shook Arthur's hand and then gingerly shook Arthur's towel. He then said, "Pleased to meet you Arthurdent. My name isn't Slughead. It's Rex, and this is my towel." And offered Arthur a corner of a clean looking dark gray towel. As Arthur shook it however, he discovered that the towel was quite grungy. He than wiped his hand on his own towel. The patches of fungus immediately killed off whatever was on his hand from Rex's towel.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a remarkable chapter on greetings. I will bring you a small quote.
When two beings come into contact for the very first time, it is necessary to complete the correct greeting ritual. This ritual varies from culture to culture.
In most bipedal cultures, the ritual consists of both participants clasping the other's right hand, and then shaking them, the hands not the other participant, up and down, while introducing themselves.
On Viltvodle VI, the Jatravartids have a complex and intricate version of this. Each Jatravartid clasps the other's hand in the opposite of it's own. The right-right clasps the right-right. The middle-right clasps the middle-right. The left-right clasps the left-right. The upper-middle-right clasps the upper-middle-right and so on for their fifty pairs of arms in a ritual that can last for up to five minutes.
One quad-pedal culture, the Podefelians of Gantraza V have feet on the end of their arms instead of hands. These beings complete the greeting ritual by stepping on each other's right foot with their own. This can cause a lot of confusion on crowded buses.
Another bipedal culture that differs from the others is the Redigitians of Bombardelia. While they clasp hands, they weave each of the twenty six fingers on their right hand around the other's fingers. It is well known that the Redigitians make the galaxy's best ointment for finger sprains.
When two hitchhikers meet, they follow the ritual for most bipedal cultures, assuming they are bipedal, clasp right hands while introducing themselves, and then introduce their towels. This is done by offering the corner of one's towel and saying, 'this is my towel'. The other hitchhiker then shakes the corner, and introduces his/her/its towel.
Once the greeting ritual is complete, it is customary to start a conversation. This may be done, in the case of hitchhikers, by discussing where they are, the other's towel and such.
For a more detailed report on conversations, please view Conversations on page 2,367,214.
Having completed the greeting ritual, Arthur decided to ask Rex about his towel.
"Rex, how is it that your towel is so clean, yet feels grungy?"
"Oh, it really isn't clean. It's just that a gray towel disguises the stains." Rex said as he eyed Arthur's very dirty looking yellow towel. Arthur looked at it himself. It was a very dirty towel, and yet he felt strongly attached to it. It was terry cloth and quite soft, even after so much use. If you looked at it hard enough, you could make out the thin pink lines that ran across it, as well as the inscription in the corner, 'Boston Ritz Carlton'. He wasn't quite sure where he got the towel. He'd never been to Boston before. He wasn't really sure where it is. Was. Where it was.
Rex broke into Arthur's musings with a crash that was strangely audible. "If your looking for a sub-etha fax machine, it's not there." He said, and pointed to the left. He then walked up to the sign and gave it a hard push.
Before Arthur's amazed eyes, the sign rotated around until the arrow was pointing to the right, down the path. "Shall we?" Rex asked, and started walking down the path.
Arthur quickly gathered up his stuff, and followed Rex. And so they continued down the path in an uncomfortable silence, until Rex suddenly came down with a very bad case of dead.
You have just finished reading chapter 3. I know I left a cliffhanger that's the point. The repeated sentence isn't a mistake. I did that on purpose, look carefully and you'll see why. If you enjoyed the story, please recommend it to all of your friends, if you don't have any friends, recommend it to me. I know of a very lonely stone who is looking for a friend. If you didn't enjoy my story, tough.
Chapter 4 might be a little late. Like I said, there is more to life than writing stories.