Author: miku
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic.
Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.
Part 18 sucks??? Hmm… not because the scene was HanaRu but because… I think… I did not write the part well… anyway, so there…
This fic is going to end soon. That means I already thought of the final pairing (if ever there is ^^;;) but of course, that's for you to find out.
Anyway, *sigh* I hope I could write better…
Maybe I'll improve someday, ne?
Anyway, thanks for reading…
!! Lime Alert… or was it only lime??? Ah… but it was not graphically mentioned. But the words… please… gomennasai…
Part 19
Too Late For Realizations
Hanamichi woke up with aching head and heavy body. Yet, the atmosphere was comfortable, too comfortable for him. Sleeping just beside him, closely beside him, was no other than the person who he had learned to love. Tired and all, he still managed to smile as he watched Rukawa's sleeping form.
The raven boy looked so peaceful and innocent. His head was lightly nudging at Hanamichi's neck, lips slightly parted and long-lashed eyes closed. The redhead quickly affirmed that sleeping could also be an art…
His smile widened and he leaned to kiss Rukawa's head, slowly and carefully as not to wake him up.
The room was actually cold due to the air condition unit but he still felt warm all over although he was naked. They were naked. And only but the white blanket covered them. He recalled contentedly what happened… and how they got in that position…
/flashback/ (a long one I guess ^^;)
Rukawa was speechless upon hearing his, Sakuragi's, confession and only uttered a silent, "Oh…"
Sakuragi actually felt nervous, anticipating rejection that he knew and experienced too well. But Rukawa only nodded as if what he heard was nothing. Then Sakuragi felt light drizzle and he and Rukawa both looked up and stared at the gray sky. The light drizzle slowly changed to a harsh rain and the two were forced to run. Fortunately, Rukawa's apartment was not so far from them already and they got in there safely before the rain poured madly.
"Here…" Rukawa offered a dry and newly washed towel to Sakuragi as the latter struggle with untying his shoes. Impatiently, the Rukawa wiped the redhead's dripping locks. Sakuragi lifted his head and smiled thankfully and got the towel from Rukawa and dried himself. Rukawa then made his way to the kitchen and prepared two cups of hot chocolate.
The room only had one couch and there they sat while silently sipping their own mugs.
Then Sakuragi already firmed his decision. He placed the mug on the table and faced Rukawa who was still drinking. Finding the time was not right he relaxed himself at the couch and closed his eyes trying to regain his composure.
"Would you never love a man, Kaede?" the redhead silently asked. His eyes were still closed. He was recalling his recent conversation with Kaede, jabs of pain creeping his heart as he remembered Kaede saying that he did not know love.
"I don't know… I never," Rukawa paused knowing that what he would say was a lie, he continued, "I never loved a girl before what more a man…"
"Do you hate me now for telling you that I love you?" Sakuragi asked not caring about anything anymore but to know what Rukawa was feeling.
Rukawa placed his own mug at the table and faced Sakuragi. Sakuragi faced him as well.
"Hana… I… I can't understand you… how could you love me?"
"I don't know either," Sakuragi started lowering his gaze, "All I know is that I love you… I don't care about anything anymore Kaede…" He returned his gaze to Kaede, reached out his hand to stroke the other boy's face. "I'm not asking you to love me back, I just…"
His eyes were getting heavy already. He wanted just to lean and kiss Kaede on the lips yet he tried controlling himself knowing fully well that the outcome might not be too good.
"I just… wanted to tell you I love you…"
"Hana…"
But the atmosphere was getting too heavy for him add up with Kaede's voice… he felt himself leaning slowly, his lips meeting Kaede's. The kiss was chaste and sweet but with feelings overwhelming, it turned to a deep and intense one.
/end of flashback/ (^^;;)
Kaede looked so strong and cold outside, when he's playing basketball or just simply standing. But lying down underneath a man, he looked so vulnerable and almost… feminine…
Sakuragi closed his eyes once more enjoying the moment and reminiscing the night of their making love. He was hearing Kaede's voice again, how the latter uttered his name lovingly, how his monotonous voice changed to a subtle and sobbing one. How Kaede writhe underneath him as he thrust inside him. How Kaede wrapped his arms around his back and even burying his nails deeply leaving slightly marks.
Kaede looked more than beautiful last night… his face flushed and eyes blurred and feverish… lips swollen from torturous kiss… hair tousled wet from sweet sweat… Sakuragi fell for him more and silently hoped that he could see that look of his love again… with him.
Kaede did not tell him that he loved him. He did not even speak any words that would mean that he felt the same way. But knowing the raven boy fully well, Sakuragi felt his hope rising. Kaede gave himself to him last night and that meant a lot…
The phone rang. Afraid that it might wake Rukawa, Sakuragi quickly yet carefully grabbed it from the night table.
"Ohayou…" he greeted.
"Ah… Kaede? Is that you?" It was Sendoh and Sakuragi felt nervous and irate at the same time.
"No. This is Sakuragi."
It took a long time before Sendoh responded with a cheerful voice. "Oh! Sakuragi! Hi! What are you doing at Kaede's house early in the morning?"
Sakuragi was sure he heard a tone of anticipation from Sendoh. "Ah… nothing… just hanging around…" Sakuragi answered making sure that his voice would not wake up the slumbering beauty in his arms.
"Ah… I see… can I talk to Kaede?"
"He's sleeping…" the redhead answered unconsciously as his eyes darted back to Rukawa's sleeping form again… the sight was too captivating…
"I see…"
Sakuragi waited for Sendoh to continue but realizing that it would take him years, he inquired, "Do you have something important to tell him?"
"Ah, nothing," Sendoh retorted with a lesser lively and softer tone. "Well then, ja ne! Thanks anyway…'" and the spiky-head hung up.
Sakuragi felt Kaede stirred a little only to snuggle closer to him. Sakuragi smiled. Seeing Kaede like this… he seemed so fragile.
Realizing that he was snuggling with a warm, harder and broader 'something', unlike his usual pillow, he slowly opened his eyes and learned that he was actually leaning to someone's chest. Surprised and all, he still managed to lift his head carefully and calmly and stared at two brown pools looking at him intently.
"Ohayou…" Sakuragi whispered huskily. Rukawa only blinked and recalled what happened.
"Aa… ohayou…" he replied softly. He lowered his gaze and silently observed their current state. Their legs were tangled to one another. His head was resting against Sakuragi's strong bicep and the latter's other arm was wrapped around his waist. Rukawa slightly blushed.
"Had a good sleep?" the redhead asked tenderly smelling the scent of Kaede's hair.
Rukawa nodded once then slowly turned around to check the time. "Hana… a…"
Knowing what his lover wanted to say, Sakuragi smiled softly and kissed Rukawa's head, 'Aa… I should be going now… I'll meet you later, na?"
Rukawa nodded again and lifted himself to sit. Sakuragi's hand was still on his waist.
Sakuragi smoothly left the bed and started picking up his clothes. Rukawa blushed upon unintentionally seeing the redhead's nakedness.
"Do you want to have breakfast before you go?" Rukawa suddenly asked feeling a little ashamed of himself blushing.
"I would love to but I bet you still wanted to sleep," Sakuragi retorted, still smiling contentedly while zipping his pants.
So true… Rukawa thought and feigned a smile. "You know me so well…"
"Of course, I'm a tensai," the redhead went to him while putting on his shirt. Then he sat beside the still bare Rukawa only wrapped in blanket. Sakuragi stroked the pale face of the raven boy and pulled his head gently for another kiss. "I love you…"
"I know…"
"I'll see you later, okay? You're tired, you should rest," Sakuragi reminded Rukawa and then stood up, picked his sports bag and went to the door. He looked back at Rukawa before he opened the door and left.
Hearing the soft thud of the door, Rukawa smacked his face with both hands, disgusted.
How could he have lost to himself?
The truth was…
When Hanamichi kissed him, he remembered Akira kissing him. The first time Akira kissed him… chaste and sweet at first then suddenly possessive and intense… He did not know how could that be possible but all the while he thought it was Akira. How could he lose to his own subconscious? More so, how could he hope it was someone and a guy for that matter? How could he think it was Akira? He only realized it too late and Sakuragi was already laying him down the bed. He was shocked upon realizing it yet he could only moan feeling Sakuragi inside him, slowly and gently thrusting himself to him. Rukawa felt himself calling Hanamichi's name… good thing he did not call Sendoh… Why would he anyway? He clearly knew right then and there that it was Hanamichi…
Was he fooling Hanamichi then? Was he lying to him? Was he using him just to… just to think of other man?
He knew it was wrong.
He did not want to hurt Hanamichi in the first place. He did not want the other to think that he was just using him to satisfy his… yearning for someone else. And now what did he do? He actually made Hanamichi believe and expect.
So maybe then, he should just let things this way…
For Hanamichi…
But what about Akira?
On the other hand, Sendoh was preparing his breakfast for milk and cereal. He was unusually sluggish and dreary.
Sakuragi was at Rukawa's house… and it was only, what, about six in the morning? And Rukawa was sleeping? What did that mean?
That Sakuragi slept with Rukawa?
Sendoh knew that he was being judgmental and it was not right to think that way. Kaede was never someone who would just sleep with anyone else…
Yet it was Hanamichi. And the two had been fairly close friends… and maybe even more?
He felt a stab of jealousy.
If that's the case then, if Kaede was happy with Sakuragi, maybe he should just let him go… But that would not mean that he's going to stop loving the raven boy and that was what hurt him most… that he could only love Kaede silently from afar…
Sendoh sighed. Tomorrow would be back to school again… maybe that would help him forget… There were many girls who were willing to be his slave… and there was even Hiroaki Koshino… someone who loved him. Sendoh already knew Koshino's feeling but the two of them were still trying to act the usual… that they were only best friends… and his best friend was right for saying that Sendoh was falling for Rukawa although before, Sendoh kept on insisting that he was not.
And now Koshino proved right…
And Sendoh felt guilty knowing that Koshino knew all along that he loved Rukawa and yet Koshino still loved him. Maybe he should give Koshino a chance. Maybe he would forget Rukawa soon. Maybe… just maybe…
For now though, things were still uncertain… maybe he should just find things out and then decide…
To be continued…
^_^ Thanks for actually reaching this part! Whew! Part 19 right??? One or two more to go and this is already finish. Well then… what do you think?