Author: miku
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic.
Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.
Hmm… I'm wondering if this is the end… let me see… @.@
Sorry for ruining any of your expectations minna! Don't hate me HanaRu and SenRu fans. Eh? You're already guessing what happened? Anway, sorry for taking too long to update. I've written the ending days ago… just haven't found the time to publish it.
Anyway, as I've said, the ending is… well… WAAAAA! I don't know what happened really why things suddenly went this way! WAAAAAA!!!! Oh… but I'll make it up with my next fic! ^_~
Akira, don't cry please. ^^;;;
Nakkie, I know you'll have a hard feeling on this one again, I guess. ^^;;
And thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them! ^_^
Oooh… one more thing… I really don't know when school days start in Japan. In this fic, it's… well… er… weeks before Valentines. Ehehehe… I'm sorry… ehehehe… you won't mind anyway, right? Right.
Part 20
Day Ends
School days again. Rukawa had just pulled his bicycle when Sakuragi came grinning cheerfully.
"Kaede!" he greeted and ran to the raven boy excitedly. With one arm he pulled Rukawa and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "Ohayou… early today, na?"
Rukawa just snorted and propped the bicycle back to the wall. He would not need it anymore. Sakuragi came to walk him to school today and he would not want cycling his way while the other running to catch to him. Perhaps Hanamichi would also walk him back home at the afternoon. That was there usual routine anyway. It was actually easier to bring his bike along but then…
"Want to change at least something," Rukawa replied and freed himself from the redhead and started walking. Sakuragi followed smirking.
"Really now? That's so unlikely of you," Hanamichi teased as he made his way beside the raven boy. He swung one arm swiftly to Kaede's shoulder and drew him to a gentle squeeze. Then he quickly removed his hold from Rukawa knowing fully well that the latter did not want public display of affection.
"Oi! Rukawa! Sakuragi!" the familiar jovial voice of Hikoichi brought the two to stop and turn to greet the boy.
"Ah! Hikoichi! Ohayou!" Sakuragi greeted beaming widely yet his smile faltered
upon seeing Sendoh just walking beside Hikoichi. Sendoh was still smiling yet
there was a visible trace of sadness in them and Hanamichi knew why. It was the
same reason why he was feigning a smile right now. He glanced to Kaede who was
slightly bitting his lower lip yet eyes still trying to hide any emotions.
Sakuragi felt guilty all of the sudden.
It was his fault at the first place.
Sendoh was the first one who loved Rukawa and it was not because of any foolish reason.
Sendoh was the first one to confess that love to the raven boy and even to the world.
Yet he had Rukawa now and Sakuragi felt a bit unfair. What was his right to be Kaede's lover? Did he not plan of hurting him before? However, just looking at Kaede assured him that his decision was not wrong, although he was not sure if it was right.
"Hi there, Sakuragi! Kaede…" Sendoh greeted.
"Aa… going to school?" Hanamichi asked cursing himself inside for acting as a good liar.
So was Sendoh, anyway.
He wanted to punch Sakuragi right then and there. He had seen the redhead kissed Rukawa. Hikoichi saw it too and was quite stunned. That was the reason why they confronted the two now. Hikoichi wanted to know what's between the two Shohoku players. Sendoh could not do anything but to follow. He would not want for Hikoichi to suspect. After all, the Ryonan Team knew Sendoh's fascination to Sakuragi and Rukawa. But that was before. His fascination to Rukawa grew to love and to Sakuragi was hate. Well… not that he wanted to hate the redhead. He was actually trying to make himself believe that it was no one's fault.
But who could blame him anyway? He had loved Kaede so much that just seeing him with someone pained him torturously. Yet he promised just yesterday that he would try to forget, right? And he was trying.
"Nah, we just saw you two. It's been a long time, na?" Hikoichi answered.
"Yeah…" Sakuragi agreed.
Silence.
Hikoichi wanted to ask, or rather, hear that Sakuragi and Rukawa already developed a relationship. But he did not know how to open it up. He shifted his feet. The atmosphere was different today too. Actually, he thought that it would not be very difficult to ask Sakuragi and Rukawa his question especially with Sendoh – who was so good with cornering and teasing people, beside him. However, the scene was not right. Sendoh was quiet all along. Sakuragi was not his usual proud self. Rukawa was the only one 'normal' if one could say that his abnormal silence was normal.
"Anyway, we should be going already. Kaede wanted to be early today," the redhead suddenly spoke breaking the rising tension. Then he looked at Kaede teasingly and the latter just snorted.
"Uh yeah…" Hikoichi murmured finding himself lost for words.
It was clear already although he did not ask. Just seeing Sakuragi's look to Kaede and kissing him was enough as evidence. It was not new to him though. He had seen Sendoh and Koshino together sometimes and acting more than best friends. He had teased the two Ryonan players about that before but they just laughed at it. Hikoichi suddenly felt the urge to tease Sendoh about that again…
"I guess you should be early from now on too, Sendoh-san. Koshino-san would be glad if you did, na?" Hikoichi said, his eyes narrowed slyly hoping to get his expected reaction from Sendoh.
But Sendoh did not laugh.
The spiky-head just narrowed his eyes slightly and smiled wistfully uttering a soft, "Right…"
And Rukawa felt a thug in his heart and he knew exactly why. Before he could expose any emotions to the three, Kaede gracefully turned and started walking slowly. Sakuragi ran to him and bid farewell to the two Ryonan players who just stood in their places; Hikoichi was confused and Sendoh was cheerless. The morning was not a good start.
************
Weeks passed and many things changed. The Shohoku Team's basketball practice had been smooth lately having no more often fight from the 'kitsune' and the 'do 'aho'. The team knew why anyway. They were surprised at first but then finding no negative effects yet, rather, the gameplay of Sakuragi improved and Kaede's remain the same, they finally got used to it. But they did not allow the whole school to know; only the basketball team. They could not expect other people to accept such relationship anyway. And Haruko did not know too. But Sakuragi's constant show of obsession had already vanished.
And also…
The usual one-on-ones of Rukawa and Sendoh was no more. They found silent excuse to themselves with school works and practices although they need not to reason out with one another. There were no more communications too.
And that was what Rukawa regretted.
He missed Sendoh's company.
But then, if he would just continue to spend time with the other boy, things might only get more complicated. After all, he should be happy with Sakuragi now. And Sendoh…
Well he heard from Hikoichi that Sendoh and Koshino was already a couple. But like his relationship with Sakuragi, it was kept secret from public except for some close friends. Kaede knew that hiding his relationship with Hana was all right. After all, he was not the showy kind of person. But Sendoh… he knew Sendoh was someone who would could never be silent with his feelings for a long time.
But nothing is wrong with love… Kaede recalled Hanamichi telling him before. Perhaps. If it was true then, he should not be ashamed of letting the people know his relationship with Hanamichi, right?
But then he was not ready. More so… he had never actually told Sakuragi the words "I love you". He felt it unfair for Hana who was never hesitant of telling him those words. Maybe someday… someday he could utter those words to him… someday…
Yet now… he still needed to forget someone…
He felt Hanamichi's arms wrapping around his waist. Rukawa stiffened for a moment but then quickly relaxed being used to this already. He turned his head slowly to meet Hanamichi's eyes.
"I have plans for tonight," the redhead started planting a chaste kiss to Kaede's lips.
It was Valentines day, Rukawa remembered. He nodded and leaned back to Hanamichi and while continuing fixing his things on the locker. "Tell me," he asked softly.
"I want it to be a surprise. I'll fetch you tonight okay?"
Rukawa nodded once.
"Would it be alright if I don't walk you home today?"
Kaede closed the locker door, turned and faced his lover. He slightly smiled reassuring the other boy. "Yes. What time tonight?"
"Eight?"
Rukawa nodded.
The two left the locker room silently and separated ways at the school gate.
He had received so many chocolates that day. But that was already a typical situation during Valentines Day. Good thing, Sakuragi's friends were there to eat most of them. He was a little relieved having the guntam along. Since the day Sakuragi confessed to his guntam about his relationship with Rukawa, they had been fairly close.
He sighed and looked at the surrounding. It was already late in the afternoon. Actually, he intended to leave the gym so late knowing that if he did not, he would only have to confront many invitations for dates. How he was annoyed of them.
He sighed for the second time when someone spoke a little far beside him.
"I have been waiting for you," the man started and Kaede abruptly turned obviously surprised. He knew the owner of that voice too well and he was right. Akira was standing in one of the light post, smiling gently. "Would you not mind spending some minute with me?" Sendoh continued making his way to Rukawa.
Kaede nodded.
He still had not yet forgotten… how much he tried… yet he knew it was futile… everything was futile… forgetting Sendoh and loving Hanamichi, loving Sendoh and hurting Hanamichi… Rukawa did not want to choose.
They walked together going to Kaede's way to home. They passed by a bridge and they stopped there captivated by the sunset.
Kaede leaned to the railings as Sendoh did too. Both just stared at the scenic view, enjoying the silent company of one another.
How much they missed this…
Yet… things were different now…
"Are you happy with Sakuragi, Kaede?" Sendoh finally asked.
"Yes…" he answered softly knowing that it was somewhat a lie. He could smile whenever he's with Hanamichi but he was not at peace. He was not contented. He just knew that he should be happy with Hanamichi yet sometimes it was difficult.
"I'm satisfied. I'm glad knowing you are happy with him the way I am with Hiro-kun…" Sendoh lied too. But it was what he should feel. He did not want to betray Koshino. He loved him. He cared for him. Yet…
Kaede shifted position to stare at Sendoh. He wanted to let Akira know the truth but he knew it would not do anything good. It would only worsen their state.
But it hurt so much to hide it anymore.
But it would hurt more if they would not stop the feeling.
"Akira…" Kaede unintentionally uttered. He missed the sound of the name from his lips. He missed everything about the man just standing next to him… so close yet he could not touch him…
Sendoh turned to face Rukawa. He was still smiling but sadness was visibly present. His eyes were not sparkling with the usual enthusiasm it had but with unshed tear…
"Don't Kaede…" Don't be guilty, don't pity me, don't blame yourself, and don't care about me anymore… "Maybe things should really be this way, na? But it doesn't mean I'll stop loving you…" Although I'll be only fooling Hiroaki and myself…
"Akira…"
How much Rukawa hated himself for this – for being unable to tell his feelings to Sendoh. How many times had he failed him? How many times had his vanity and cowardice hurt Sendoh?
"I just wanted to see you… happy valentines day…" And happy birthday for me… Sendoh uttered softly fighting the urge to pull Kaede and embrace him.
Kaede nodded slowly, avoiding meeting Sendoh's eyes. "You too, happy valentines… to you and… Koshino…"
"Yeah… say my regards with Sakuragi…"
"Aa…"
"I'm going now, na?" Sendoh said as he stepped slowly backward. Kaede was still not looking at him, head lowered and bangs darkly covered his eyes.
Rukawa nodded.
"Take care of yourself always…"
Another nod.
"Sayonara…" Sendoh bid as he walked away.
One last nod.
"Sayo…na…ra…" Kaede whispered to himself as tears began to fall. He never moved from his position, his head still lowered, hands clutching the railings of the bridge, shoulders trembling uncontrollably. The sun already vanished its light gone and swallowed by the sea…
~~Owari~~
Oh… so this is really the last part…
It's done minna! Sorry for the sad ending… but there's a sequel for this story, and I'll try to be kinder to Sendoh and Rukawa there… I'm planning for it to be a one-shot… anyway… what do you think? Don't hate me please… I'm sorry… I'm sad too… *sob*
Now, now… all feedbacks are already welcome. Flames and criticisms too. I'm not a very good writer but I just needed to free my mind with all the stories stored there… Thanks for reading and finishing "Expectations"… Ehehe… Domo Arigatou!