A/N: I'm doing a parody of a stupid story I found here by Dulcinea called The Raven. Look it up for a laugh.

*******Start Idiocy*

Growing up was like so sucky because everyone would just like keel over and die. I mean, I stayed my perfect self, with my clotted blood red hair and clear emerald eyes and stuff. They even have golden flecks because I am so like awesome! I hjad those dirt lookin dots under my eyes but with a little eye liner and eye shadow, those got covered right up likety split. So like... what was I saying?

Oh yeah, I am a really deep person so when everyone I know dies I feel really really really bad and stuff. I mean, I wish they were like me because after I turned twenty, I didn't even age anymore. I liked right on through the 1900s and 200s (A/N: WTF!?) but don't ask me ahy, cause even though I live in something like modern earth I've NEVER like heard of elves and stuff, or anything like it so I'll assume I'm the only person like myself, which is cool because I understand me and if I didn't understand me I'd be weird.

So like anyway, I got sent off to college because no one wondered why I was outliving everyone else, so the most likely thing was to send me off to college. I think they were trying to get rid of me... Don't ask me why but like people don't understand me at all, even down to my piercings and my bat tattoo. And i wanted to just go to college because I was tired of everyone always licking their fingers and trying to rub my dots off!

Like, LOSER!