Instructor Zell
Chapter III
Let's get down to business
Heh heh..."business" get it..umm yeah....
Sorry this took so long to get up but I'm lazy and slow :). Thnx again for the reviews keep em comin.
*******
Irvine and Squall are sitting at a table in the cafeteria eating lunch while Zell waits on the hotdog line. A girl in front of him buys the last one.
Zell: Damn, there goes the last hot dog...AGAIN...*walks over and sits down at Squall's table* Why are they always gone before I get here?
Squall: Maybe because you let everyone have them in class.
Zell: Never mind that we have more important things to worry about...how to find the sorceresses that posessed Edea and Quistis...
Irvine: Whoa...how did Zell remeber all that? Maybe being an Instructor flipped some hidden switch in his brain...
Squall: Whatever...
Zell: Hmmmmm...*punches air*
Irvine: *whispers to Squall* Will you look at that, Zell's thinking!
Squall: *whispers to Irvine* ...whatever...
Irvine: *mumbles to Squall* Ya know that gets really annoying after a while.
Steam rises from Zell's head as he works his out-of-shape brain.
Zell: I have an idea!!
*******
Zell, Irvine, Squall, Rinoa, and Selphie are once again sitting around Squall's dormitory, discussing Zell's idea.
Zell: So sorceresses are girls, right?
Irvine: Right...
Zell: So we need to question a bunch of girls at once, right?
Irvine: Yeah...
Zell: So where do lots of girls hang out?
Squall: Uh...boy-band concerts?
Zell: No, the girls's bathroom!
Rinoa and Selphie simultaneously pounce on Zell and start slapping him senseless, while Squall sweatdrops and Irvine falls over anime-style.
Zell: AAAAGGGHRRGGG *foams at the mouth*
Squall clears his throat. Everyone stops going insane and pays attention.
Squall (leader-like): Ok, enough fooling around. The mission to eliminate the sorceresses is under way. We should split up into two teams. Rinoa and Selphie, you look in the library. Irvine, Zell, and I will look in the girl's bathroom.
Rinoa: You mean we're actually DOING this?
Squall: You got a better idea?
Rinoa: Actually yeah, like 50. *begins to list them*
Cecil: SHUT UP.
Rinoa: Ugh, well at least let us girls go instead!
Squall: YO! I'm the leader here, biiaatch! I say we're going and you look in the library!
Rinoa: ...whatever.
*******
Squall, Irvine, and Zell arrive in the girl's bathroom.
Zell: Look at this place, it's HUGE!
Squall: They have running water.
Irvine: Damn.
A half-eaten hotdog is sitting on the floor in front of Zell.
Zell: *sees the hotdog* OH_____MY______GOD!!!...This is the last friggen hotdog that girl took! HOW COULD ANYONE BE SO HEARTLESS!! TO ABANDON THIS GIFT OF HYNE! I'LL KILL HER!!!!!
Zell grabs the hotdog and runs into the nearest stall.
Girl voiceover: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *slap slap slap*
Irvine: Oh man, he's gettin the crap beat out of him.
The door opens. The girl slumps to the floor while Zell walks calmly out.
Squall (calmly): Zell, did you beat another girl over the head with a hotdog...?
Zell: Serves her right...*to hotdog* poor baby...Uncle Zelly's here...
Squall: O....k...that's just creepy.
Zell: Ok, let's go team! *eats hotdog*
Squall and Irvine sweatdrop.
In a blur so fast you would think it just randomly came out of nowhere to annoy you, a grat appears. Squall automatically draws his gunblade and Zell readies his fists. Irvine lazily draws his rifle.
Squall: Why are there monsters in the girl's bathroom?
Irvine: I dunno there just are.
Squall: You've been here before?
Irvine *goes red* Uh..no what ever gave you that idea?
Their discussion is interrupted by a scream from Zell.
Zell (all acid burnt and stuff): A LITTLE HELP HERE PLEASE!!!!
Squall sighs and draws his gunblade in Renzokuken stance. He holds the vicious weapon over his head and a golden, shimmering aura forms around him. He catapults into the air and pulls the trigger in mid-slash.
*click*
Squall: W-what...?
Squall falls flat on his face.
Squall: Ow...what the hell happened?!
Irvine: Oh yeah, I borrowed some ammo before we left. You don't mind...right?
Squall: ...We have to have a little "chat" later.
Irvine: Does the "chat" involve meltdown and wedgies?
Squall: Maybe.
Irvine: *gulp*
Squall takes out his gunblade to do Lion Heart or something like that, only to find that Zell has already beaten the crap out of the grat.
Zell: Ok STUDENTS, why don't we stop goofing off and proceed with our mission, hmm? (man I love doing that)
Squall and Irvine hang their heads with shame.
Irvine and Squall: *mumble* Yes sir...
*******
Zell: Man, how big IS this place?! We've been walking for at least 3 hours.
Irvine: I don't think it's too much farther.
Squall: WHAT isn't too much farther?
Irvine: oh, nothing...
Zell: We need to start questioning some girls. I can't go as I'm an Instructor ^-^'...
Irvine: I'll go. I mean it's not like I've been here before and know where to go...heh heh heh...
Zell: Squall, I order you to go into a stall and question a girl!
Squall: ...whatever...
Squall walks into the closest stall.
Girl's voice: EEE!! What the hell are you doing in here?!
Squall: Uh...(girls get so excited over trivial things. How can they ever lead a happy life that way? Or maybe that IS the way to live happily... Caring about the little things instead of the big picture...but then how can they ever find their destiny? Wouldn't they just feel like they were drifting all the time? Is there ever a way to live without worrying about things and still have a purpose.....?)
Girl's voice: Hey FREAK! Are you just gonna stare at me all day?
Squall: *comes back to reality* Oh, are you a sorceress?
Inappropriate things are screamed and much smashing is heard.
Squall or whatever's left of him is shoved though the crack between the bottom of the door and the floor.
Zell: Well, how'd it go?
Squall: *several teeth fall out as his mouth opens* Not...well...*Squall's left arm falls off*
Zell: Right....I guess we have to go farther in for more clues.
Irvine: Umm, nah, you don't wanna go farther in.
Zell: Why?
Ivine: Uh...you just...don't?
Zell: Don't be lazy on my mission. We have a job to do! Move out!
Squall: (That's not fair, that's my job...) *sniff*
Irvine: Don't say I didn't warn you...
*******
After walking some more, the group comes to a large old-west-style double door.
Zell: Hey, what's that?
Squall: It's a large, old-west-style double door.
Zell: No, not that. *bends down to read something writtenon the bottom of the wall* Look at this, guys.
The message reads "IRVINE (heart) EMILY".
Zell: ...the hell? So you HAVE been in here before!
Irvine: Whatever, let's go back now!
Squall pushes open the doors to reveal a spa-like room with a hot tub and whirlpool. Several girls are sitting in the hot tub and around the room.
Random girls: OOOH, IRVY'S HERE!!
Irvine: It's not what you think!!!
Squall: Is that Xu?
The walls are covered with inscriptions like: "IRVINE AND PIGTAIL GIRL"
Zell: If I wasn't an instructor I would so kill you.
"IRVY AND RINOA"
Squall:.............................................Remember that "chat" we were going to have? Now it involves Eden and Apocalypse.
Irvine sweatdrops.
"IRVINE AND EDEA"
Squall: Now that's just wrong.
Zell: Well I don't think we're gonna find anything else here...
Squall: Let's get out of here. I need to go check on Rinoa anyway.
Irvine: Heh heh, and I'd better go "check" on Selphie...
Squall: Shut you mouth unless you want the chat to involve the origins of Hinduism and cream cheese.
*******
After getting out of the girl's bathroom, Squall goes looking for Rinoa. He finally finds her sitting on the edge of the railroad to Esthar (The Garden is still docked at FH).
Rinoa: Oh, Squall! Did you find anything?
Squall: Not really...
Rinoa: Me neither...
They sit there in silence for a while, staring at the ocean. The sun is going down, tinting it a dull orange.
Rinoa suddenly breaks down crying.
Rinoa (sobbing): Oh, Squall, I thought it was all over... I though we could be together... but now I'm a danger to everyone again, just like before. If there are more sorceresses in the future, I'll always be a threat! How can I remain here?! You should have let me be imprisoned in Esthar...
Squall: You know that isn't true. I'll protect you, no matter what. No one is going to use you ever again.
Cecil: Damn straight.
Rinoa: *sniff* I know you won't let anything happen to me. I should have never doubted you.
Squall: Rinoa...
They embrace.
"Eyes on Me" starts playing.
They back away.
"Eyes on Me" stops.
Squall: What's up with that?
Rinoa: Whatever...
They embrace again for a long time. Until ol' Julia's voice gives out.
Rinoa: Oh my Hyne, I forgot! If you're looking for sorceresses, you have to look in the Sorceress's Bathroom!
Squall: Garden has a seperate bathroom for sorceresses?
Rinoa: Duh!
Squall: .......
*******
Meanwhile, in another place and time...
Quistis: Seifer, you WILL be my boyfriend!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Seifer: Noooo!
Cecil: *to Seifer* you keep your hands off mah woman, chicken wuss!
Several large rocks fall on Seifer's head.
Seifer: Ow...b-but...she...wait, I thought you liked Rinoa?
Cecil: YOU DARE CHALLENGE THE DARK SEED'S BELIEF IN POLYGAMY?!?
Seifer: Ok, ok, they're both yours! *whimper*
Edea suddenly appears.
Edea: Enough playing with him, Sorceress - *a cow mooing loudly blocks out the rest of the name*...I have a job for him...
Seifer eyes Edea.
Cecil: Don't even think about it.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
Next chapter: Kiss my sorcer-@$$!
The exploration of the Sorceress's Bathroom... Weird head peices and people substituting every "c" in their sentences for "k"...
POLL:
What do YOU want to happen to Seifer?
Thnx for reading all this. The next chapter will probably be up in a few days. The Dark SeeD loves to procrastinate.
Let's get down to business
Heh heh..."business" get it..umm yeah....
Sorry this took so long to get up but I'm lazy and slow :). Thnx again for the reviews keep em comin.
*******
Irvine and Squall are sitting at a table in the cafeteria eating lunch while Zell waits on the hotdog line. A girl in front of him buys the last one.
Zell: Damn, there goes the last hot dog...AGAIN...*walks over and sits down at Squall's table* Why are they always gone before I get here?
Squall: Maybe because you let everyone have them in class.
Zell: Never mind that we have more important things to worry about...how to find the sorceresses that posessed Edea and Quistis...
Irvine: Whoa...how did Zell remeber all that? Maybe being an Instructor flipped some hidden switch in his brain...
Squall: Whatever...
Zell: Hmmmmm...*punches air*
Irvine: *whispers to Squall* Will you look at that, Zell's thinking!
Squall: *whispers to Irvine* ...whatever...
Irvine: *mumbles to Squall* Ya know that gets really annoying after a while.
Steam rises from Zell's head as he works his out-of-shape brain.
Zell: I have an idea!!
*******
Zell, Irvine, Squall, Rinoa, and Selphie are once again sitting around Squall's dormitory, discussing Zell's idea.
Zell: So sorceresses are girls, right?
Irvine: Right...
Zell: So we need to question a bunch of girls at once, right?
Irvine: Yeah...
Zell: So where do lots of girls hang out?
Squall: Uh...boy-band concerts?
Zell: No, the girls's bathroom!
Rinoa and Selphie simultaneously pounce on Zell and start slapping him senseless, while Squall sweatdrops and Irvine falls over anime-style.
Zell: AAAAGGGHRRGGG *foams at the mouth*
Squall clears his throat. Everyone stops going insane and pays attention.
Squall (leader-like): Ok, enough fooling around. The mission to eliminate the sorceresses is under way. We should split up into two teams. Rinoa and Selphie, you look in the library. Irvine, Zell, and I will look in the girl's bathroom.
Rinoa: You mean we're actually DOING this?
Squall: You got a better idea?
Rinoa: Actually yeah, like 50. *begins to list them*
Cecil: SHUT UP.
Rinoa: Ugh, well at least let us girls go instead!
Squall: YO! I'm the leader here, biiaatch! I say we're going and you look in the library!
Rinoa: ...whatever.
*******
Squall, Irvine, and Zell arrive in the girl's bathroom.
Zell: Look at this place, it's HUGE!
Squall: They have running water.
Irvine: Damn.
A half-eaten hotdog is sitting on the floor in front of Zell.
Zell: *sees the hotdog* OH_____MY______GOD!!!...This is the last friggen hotdog that girl took! HOW COULD ANYONE BE SO HEARTLESS!! TO ABANDON THIS GIFT OF HYNE! I'LL KILL HER!!!!!
Zell grabs the hotdog and runs into the nearest stall.
Girl voiceover: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *slap slap slap*
Irvine: Oh man, he's gettin the crap beat out of him.
The door opens. The girl slumps to the floor while Zell walks calmly out.
Squall (calmly): Zell, did you beat another girl over the head with a hotdog...?
Zell: Serves her right...*to hotdog* poor baby...Uncle Zelly's here...
Squall: O....k...that's just creepy.
Zell: Ok, let's go team! *eats hotdog*
Squall and Irvine sweatdrop.
In a blur so fast you would think it just randomly came out of nowhere to annoy you, a grat appears. Squall automatically draws his gunblade and Zell readies his fists. Irvine lazily draws his rifle.
Squall: Why are there monsters in the girl's bathroom?
Irvine: I dunno there just are.
Squall: You've been here before?
Irvine *goes red* Uh..no what ever gave you that idea?
Their discussion is interrupted by a scream from Zell.
Zell (all acid burnt and stuff): A LITTLE HELP HERE PLEASE!!!!
Squall sighs and draws his gunblade in Renzokuken stance. He holds the vicious weapon over his head and a golden, shimmering aura forms around him. He catapults into the air and pulls the trigger in mid-slash.
*click*
Squall: W-what...?
Squall falls flat on his face.
Squall: Ow...what the hell happened?!
Irvine: Oh yeah, I borrowed some ammo before we left. You don't mind...right?
Squall: ...We have to have a little "chat" later.
Irvine: Does the "chat" involve meltdown and wedgies?
Squall: Maybe.
Irvine: *gulp*
Squall takes out his gunblade to do Lion Heart or something like that, only to find that Zell has already beaten the crap out of the grat.
Zell: Ok STUDENTS, why don't we stop goofing off and proceed with our mission, hmm? (man I love doing that)
Squall and Irvine hang their heads with shame.
Irvine and Squall: *mumble* Yes sir...
*******
Zell: Man, how big IS this place?! We've been walking for at least 3 hours.
Irvine: I don't think it's too much farther.
Squall: WHAT isn't too much farther?
Irvine: oh, nothing...
Zell: We need to start questioning some girls. I can't go as I'm an Instructor ^-^'...
Irvine: I'll go. I mean it's not like I've been here before and know where to go...heh heh heh...
Zell: Squall, I order you to go into a stall and question a girl!
Squall: ...whatever...
Squall walks into the closest stall.
Girl's voice: EEE!! What the hell are you doing in here?!
Squall: Uh...(girls get so excited over trivial things. How can they ever lead a happy life that way? Or maybe that IS the way to live happily... Caring about the little things instead of the big picture...but then how can they ever find their destiny? Wouldn't they just feel like they were drifting all the time? Is there ever a way to live without worrying about things and still have a purpose.....?)
Girl's voice: Hey FREAK! Are you just gonna stare at me all day?
Squall: *comes back to reality* Oh, are you a sorceress?
Inappropriate things are screamed and much smashing is heard.
Squall or whatever's left of him is shoved though the crack between the bottom of the door and the floor.
Zell: Well, how'd it go?
Squall: *several teeth fall out as his mouth opens* Not...well...*Squall's left arm falls off*
Zell: Right....I guess we have to go farther in for more clues.
Irvine: Umm, nah, you don't wanna go farther in.
Zell: Why?
Ivine: Uh...you just...don't?
Zell: Don't be lazy on my mission. We have a job to do! Move out!
Squall: (That's not fair, that's my job...) *sniff*
Irvine: Don't say I didn't warn you...
*******
After walking some more, the group comes to a large old-west-style double door.
Zell: Hey, what's that?
Squall: It's a large, old-west-style double door.
Zell: No, not that. *bends down to read something writtenon the bottom of the wall* Look at this, guys.
The message reads "IRVINE (heart) EMILY".
Zell: ...the hell? So you HAVE been in here before!
Irvine: Whatever, let's go back now!
Squall pushes open the doors to reveal a spa-like room with a hot tub and whirlpool. Several girls are sitting in the hot tub and around the room.
Random girls: OOOH, IRVY'S HERE!!
Irvine: It's not what you think!!!
Squall: Is that Xu?
The walls are covered with inscriptions like: "IRVINE AND PIGTAIL GIRL"
Zell: If I wasn't an instructor I would so kill you.
"IRVY AND RINOA"
Squall:.............................................Remember that "chat" we were going to have? Now it involves Eden and Apocalypse.
Irvine sweatdrops.
"IRVINE AND EDEA"
Squall: Now that's just wrong.
Zell: Well I don't think we're gonna find anything else here...
Squall: Let's get out of here. I need to go check on Rinoa anyway.
Irvine: Heh heh, and I'd better go "check" on Selphie...
Squall: Shut you mouth unless you want the chat to involve the origins of Hinduism and cream cheese.
*******
After getting out of the girl's bathroom, Squall goes looking for Rinoa. He finally finds her sitting on the edge of the railroad to Esthar (The Garden is still docked at FH).
Rinoa: Oh, Squall! Did you find anything?
Squall: Not really...
Rinoa: Me neither...
They sit there in silence for a while, staring at the ocean. The sun is going down, tinting it a dull orange.
Rinoa suddenly breaks down crying.
Rinoa (sobbing): Oh, Squall, I thought it was all over... I though we could be together... but now I'm a danger to everyone again, just like before. If there are more sorceresses in the future, I'll always be a threat! How can I remain here?! You should have let me be imprisoned in Esthar...
Squall: You know that isn't true. I'll protect you, no matter what. No one is going to use you ever again.
Cecil: Damn straight.
Rinoa: *sniff* I know you won't let anything happen to me. I should have never doubted you.
Squall: Rinoa...
They embrace.
"Eyes on Me" starts playing.
They back away.
"Eyes on Me" stops.
Squall: What's up with that?
Rinoa: Whatever...
They embrace again for a long time. Until ol' Julia's voice gives out.
Rinoa: Oh my Hyne, I forgot! If you're looking for sorceresses, you have to look in the Sorceress's Bathroom!
Squall: Garden has a seperate bathroom for sorceresses?
Rinoa: Duh!
Squall: .......
*******
Meanwhile, in another place and time...
Quistis: Seifer, you WILL be my boyfriend!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Seifer: Noooo!
Cecil: *to Seifer* you keep your hands off mah woman, chicken wuss!
Several large rocks fall on Seifer's head.
Seifer: Ow...b-but...she...wait, I thought you liked Rinoa?
Cecil: YOU DARE CHALLENGE THE DARK SEED'S BELIEF IN POLYGAMY?!?
Seifer: Ok, ok, they're both yours! *whimper*
Edea suddenly appears.
Edea: Enough playing with him, Sorceress - *a cow mooing loudly blocks out the rest of the name*...I have a job for him...
Seifer eyes Edea.
Cecil: Don't even think about it.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
Next chapter: Kiss my sorcer-@$$!
The exploration of the Sorceress's Bathroom... Weird head peices and people substituting every "c" in their sentences for "k"...
POLL:
What do YOU want to happen to Seifer?
Thnx for reading all this. The next chapter will probably be up in a few days. The Dark SeeD loves to procrastinate.