Disclaimer (that I have always forgotten..) I DO NOT OWN ANY HEY ARNOLD CHARACTERS. ALL I DO IS PUT THEM IN MY STORIES…thank you. Now enjoy.
Chapter Six: What's In A Name?"Hush little baby don't say a word," murmured Helga. "Mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a…a…"
"Diamond ring," continued Arnold in a singing tone.
"Oh, right!" She cleared her throat. "And if that diamond ring don't…uh…"
Arnold thought for a second. "Uh…"
"You don't know?!" she complained. "How can we sing to the baby if you don't know the lullaby!"
"Okay, that's okay! You know plenty of other songs to lull the baby with. Just don't worry so much, Helga," he assured her.
Helga sighed. "I guess you're right." Suddenly she gasped.
"What's wrong?" he asked involuntarily.
"Where's the baby going to sleep?"
"I guess we'll find some place…" Arnold murmured. "But, uh, with all do respect, Helga, aren't we going to give away the baby?"
"Oh. Yeah." She sounded very disappointed. Like she really actually wanted to keep the baby. But what would a 17 year old do with a baby? …Nothing… she opened the bag of Cheetos next to her and the jar of peanut butter. Yes, she ate them together. (A/N: And frankly, they taste quite interesting…)
There was silence.
"Well, I figure I might as well name the baby. We can't give it away without a name," said Helga with her mouth full of peanut butter.
"Yeah, ok. So…what are the names you've chosen?"
"What makes you so sure I've already chosen names?" she snapped.
"Because, I know you Helga. We practically live together. Now tell me, what names have you chosen?" He said as-a-matter-of-factly.
Helga rolled her eyes and took a piece of paper out from her back pocket. "I did make a tiny list." She unfolded the paper. "If it's a girl, I'd name her Jacqueline, Juliet, Margaret, Josie or Belle. If it's a boy, I'd name him Peter, Robbie, Kevin, Mikey, or Arnold." She covered her mouth. "Err…"
"Arnold?" he repeated.
Helga still had her hands over her mouth and nodded.
"May I ask why?" He rested his arms on the back of his chair.
She sighed and put her hands down. "Because I made this list in the fourth grade. I just dug it up last weekend. I figured that if I didn't marry you I would at least name my kid after you."
"You wanted to marry me?"
She looked away. "Yes…I wanted to."
"You had a crush on me?"
"If you'd call it a crush…" It was more like madly in love.
Arnold nodded as if he understood what she was talking about. "Do you still have a crush on me?"
Helga rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease, Arnoldo."
Arnold looked slightly disappointed. Just slightly. "I see."
"But, you're a good person…I mean, I would…er…well. You're taken already anyways."
"I am?"
"Does the word 'Lila' ring a bell?"
Arnold let out a heavy sigh. "Oh…Her," he replied dryly.
" 'Oh her'?" Helga said. "Oh…her? Are you feeling okay, Arnold? Lately it seems that you're the one who's having pregnancy hormones, and not me."
Arnold waved his hand at her. "Yeah, I'm okay."
"Is it girl trouble, Sonny?" she laughed.
"It'll all blow over." He put his feet on the table and glanced at the clock on the wall. "Holy…Helga!"
Helga widened her eyes. "What?"
"It's time to go to the doctor's!" he jumped out of his seat.
"Oh…dear…"
He pulled her out of her seat. "Hurry, cuz then I can get back to go on a date with Lila."
"Okay, Helga, Arnold…this is going to be a special treat for you both. You'll get to see your baby the closest to fully developed than when its born," said the doctor. "And you two have chosen not to know the gender until later…?"
"That's right!" Helga said instantly. "So it'll be easier to let go…"
The doctor showed them the baby on the little monitor. It was black and white (A/N: I think maybe they have these things in color now?!) and the two of them saw their baby moving around, well, fidgeting a little. Its hand moving.
Helga swore she would've cried.
Arnold couldn't believe it either. Sure, they've seen it in their textbooks before, but never like this.
The doctor looked more intently at the baby and wrote things down on her clipboard. "Everything seems in order here…I don't think there should be any problems," said the doctor.
Helga smiled.
"I'll just leave the two of you here for a while." She walked out the door.
"Look at that, Arnold," grinned Helga. "Isn't our baby beautiful?"
Our, he thought. He chuckled slightly. "Yes…" he looked closely at the monitor, blocking Helga's view.
"What…what are you doing?" Helga complained.
"Checking…" he murmured.
"Checking what?!"
"If it's a boy or a girl."
"Arnold!" She snapped, managing to kick him in the stomach. "We don't want to grow too attached. OK?"
Arnold backed away. "Okay, okay! Don't get all bent out of shape!"
"If you haven't already noticed, I am bent out of shape."
"More like molded out of shape," he murmured.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing…"
"That's what I thought."
Arnold looked around the room and looked at the baby pictures on the wall. They were all of the doctor's former patients' babies. He smiled at the cute little chubby faces.
"Aren't they adorable?" commented the doctor as she walked in the door.
Arnold nodded. "Very cute."
"All of the new mothers write me long letters and send millions of pictures of their little bundles of joy," she began. "They always can't believe that they had such a miracle happen to them. I can't understand why some people abandon their children."
Helga looked down. I can, she thought. "What time is it?" she wondered aloud.
The doctor glanced at her wristwatch. "It's about 4:30."
"Damnit," muttered Arnold, slapping his forehead.
"What?"
"I was supposed to pick Lila up for a date half an hour ago…" He sighed.
Everyone in school was all hyped up about the Spring Fling formal. All the girls were gossiping about who asked who to the dance, which girls had an appointment to the hair dresser, which girls had the rich limos, and which boys could afford the really expensive corsages.
Helga couldn't be part of this conversation. Usually tons of guys would go up to her and ask her out to these dances. But now they stayed away from her.
"Girls, I got the fab dress at Paris!" squealed Rhonda. "It's only made by the best designers. It cost $500 and is custom made for moi."
"Oh gee, Rhonda…that's just…fab," replied Helga.
"So, Arnold. Are we going to be going to the Spring Fling?" Lila asked. "I bought a dress…I made appointments to get my hair done."
"I know, I know," he grumbled.
"So are we?"
"What?" he asked absent-mindedly.
"Going to the Spring Fling! Honestly, Arnold, it's like I don't even exist anymore." She flinged her hands up in the air in exasperation. "All you ever worry about is Helga. It's like you want to marry her or something. But may I remind you, Arnold…we are a couple. Not you and Helga, but you and me."
Arnold rubbed his hands together. "Can we talk about this later?"
"There'll be no more laters until you answer my question: Are you taking me to the Spring Fling?" Her hands were on her hips and she had her right leg out.
"…Yes. I'm taking you to the Spring Fling and buying you the prettiest corsage."
Lila smiled and hugged him. "That's what I thought."
The bell rang and everyone began to walk to class. Helga was due in a couple of months, Lila thinks he's a total pig, and it was almost time for finals, oh, and he had to find a family to give their baby to.
What else could add to his utter happiness?
After school, he waited in the parking lot for Helga. He was leaning against his car and humming to himself. Lately, Helga had been into the soft rock and love songs stuff. Whenever she heard those sad, romantic songs like Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting" she burst into tears. Then when she hears something even sweeter like "Because You Love Me" by Celine Dion, she just couldn't stop crying.
It made Arnold a little embarrassed at times. At stop lights, when Helga cried, the people in the cars next to them would stare and give Arnold the what-have-you-done-you-ungrateful-bastard look.
"Hey Arnold!" Helga shouted from five cars away. "Look alive!"
Arnold grinned and straightened up. He watched as she clumsily glided across the asphalt. When was the last time he watched her walk? Never really. Not until now. He got in the car and warmed up the engine. Helga plumped in the passenger seat next to him. "Man, my back hurts."
"Nice to see you too," he chuckled and pulled out of the parking lot.
"Are you going to the Spring Fling with Lila?" She asked.
"Why?" he gave her a suspicious look.
"Because, I'm just curious." She glanced at him. "You don't think I'm going to make her eat a poison apple, do you?" She laughed. "So are you going with her?"
"Yes. I guess so. It's either that or die…"
Helga laughed again. "Die?"
"Yeah, die. She's really uptight about us right now."
"Us as in you and me? Or as in…"
"Both."
"Wow, you're going to have fun at the dance."
"Are you going to go?" He wondered.
"Nah, I figure I'd just stay home and watch some TV. What would a pregnant girl do at a formal dance? My feet can't even fit in my high heels."
***
Helga whistled as Arnold walked down the stairs wearing a tux.
"Snazzy," she commented. "Tell me, why are you dressed like a groom again?"
"Lila thought it would look nice." He adjusted his little black bow tie, which came undone. "Damn, I can't get this stupid piece of shit…"
Helga walked up to him and tied his bow for him. "It's all in the wrist," she giggled and glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's 7:00! You'd better go get her now before she thinks you're leaving her for me again."
"Ha…ha…" he smirked. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"Perfectly fine!" She stuck out both her thumbs. "Go…" she began to push him out the door.
"If you need me, you know, just call my cell…"
"I know, I know…" She was still pushing him.
"The number is 546-129…"
"3," she finished. "I know. Now go!" she urged. "I'll be fine. Now have fun." She shoved him out the door.
Arnold got in the car and drove off to pick up Lila.
He drove and listened to the love song station. He hummed to the song of Elton John's "Your Song" (A/N: Don't you guys LOVE that song?) and thought of Helga again.
Damnit, he thought, why do I keep thinking about her? This is a night for fun. Not for thinking about Helga. It's not your problem that she chose to stay home…
He parked his car in front of Lila's drive way and walked to the door. Knock, knock.
Excitedly, Lila opened the door and grinned stupidly. She reminded Arnold of a big daisy because of what she was wearing. A yellow dress with green flowers on it. Just a little strange…
"I thought you'd never come!" she exclaimed. "Where's my corsage?"
Arnold took it out of his pocket and put it on her wrist. It was made of roses and leaves.
"Aw, it's beautiful…you shouldn't have!" her arm linked his as they walked to his car. "By the way, Arnold. You look fantastic."
"You look…special, Lila. Very special."
They drove to the school gym. The music pounded loudly. Lila was all happy-go-lucky. And Arnold just couldn't make himself smile. As they walked in, he was over-whelmed with all the people and the crappy decorations they got from the dollar store.
He was even surprised to see people dressed as crudely as Lila. In the corner, Lila and Gerald were all lovey-dovey. A group of guys were gathered in a circle as they all jumped in unison.
Fun.
"Get me some punch, will you?" said Lila.
Arnold nodded and walked away from her. Happily. At the punch bowl he was surprised by Gerald.
"Hey man," Gerald greeted.
"Hey," replied Arnold.
"Here with Helga?"
"No…Lila," he said dryly.
"Oh."
"How are you and Phoebe anyway?"
"Awesome…and I finally did it."
"Did it?" Arnold asked blankly.
"I said it. I told her I loved her."
Arnold's face brightened. "No kidding?"
Gerald shook his head. "I just can't believe it. Everywhere I looked, there she was. All I could see was her. I just couldn't get her out of my mind. And that's when I knew that I had to tell her. I couldn't keep it to myself anymore."
Then his pants started to ring. Arnold took his phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear. "Helga?"
"Arnold," she groaned from the other end of the line. "My stomach is hurting like crazy…come home…please."
Arnold dropped his cup of punch. "Okay, just stay there. I'll be there in a flash." He pressed the end button and put the cell phone back in his pants.
"Is everything ok?" worried Gerald.
"I have to get home to Helga," he murmured to himself.
"What?" Gerald shouted over the music.
"I gotta go," shouted Arnold back. He began walking away, shuffling through the people. Squeezing between the dancers.
"Arnold!" snapped Lila. She stood in front of his path. "Where's my punch?"
"Sorry, I…"
Suddenly Lila sneezed. "Ouch," she mumbled, scratching her wrist. "I'm getting kind of itchy."
"You're getting kind of bumpy too," noted Arnold.
She touched her face. "Oh my God. I'm breaking out. Arnold!" she groaned. "I must be allergic to this…AaACcHhhOO! Rose!"
Arnold covered his mouth as he chuckled. "I gotta go, Lila," he urged.
"Why? You have to escort me to the nurse!" She stomped her foot on the wooden floor.
"Look, Helga's in trouble and I have to get home," he growled at her. "Now move out of the way."
"It's always Helga, Helga, Helga. You know I have a problem right now too! What's more important right now?"
"Definitely not you," he snapped back, pushing her aside.
"FINE…IT'S OVER!" She screamed. Then sneezed.
Arnold ran out of the gym and raced to his car. He pulled the door open and jumped in, quickly starting the engine and flooring the pedal.
As he approached the boarding house, he stopped the car half way on the curb. Not even bothering to close the door behind him, he ran inside. "Helga?" he called.
"Arnold," she cried.
Arnold followed her voice upstairs to her room and found her sitting on the floor.
"I don't feel very good," she told him.
A/N: in the next chapter, the dreaded questions will finally be answered! Is the baby a boy or a girl? What's wrong with Helga? Are they really going to give the baby away?! Is there going to be a sequal once this is over?? We'll talk about that later…
School is tiring.