***Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and her licensees. Used without permission for nonprofit entertainment. Go buy some copies of the manga and anime, it'll keep 'em out of my hair.***
The Tendo Dojo was awash in the sounds of a martial arts battle. Clothes snapped and fists slammed into blocking arms with minute thuds. Grunts of exertion and pain mingled with murmured comments from the gathered spectators.
Kasumi Tendo watched from the doorway, keeping an ear out for the timer on the oven. Her sister, Nabiki, was chatting in English with a confused young man in a loose, blue gi. The Tendo family patriarch, Soun, was sitting next to his friend, Genma Saotome. Both watched the battle with stern determination. Finally, in the corner, Ryoga Hibiki, a frequent visitor to the dojo, was speaking with another young man with short, wavy brown hair dressed in a dingy, Korean-style gi that might have been white once, but was now covered in an irregular pattern of small, muddy handprints and grass stains. Four large backpacks were leaned against the wall, one with a red bamboo umbrella lashed to the top.
All eyes were on the two martial artists sparring in the middle of the room.
One of the fighters was, unsurprisingly, Ranma Saotome, wearing his trademark red and black Chinese clothes. The other was a muscular, blond gaijin wearing loose gray pants and a tight white t-shirt.
The fight had already lasted a minute, with both opponents testing the other's limits, gradually working up from the basics of their respective styles, and adding more finesse to each successive exchange of blows. The blond stayed solidly on the ground, warily eying his opponent, who leapt and flipped in an impressive display of acrobatic skill.
Ranma was bored.
He had thought that this fight would be a little more interesting. After all, when new martial artists showed up at the dojo, he usually had at least one good fight out of the bargain, and, if he was lucky, he got to learn a new technique, to boot. Sometimes, he even made moves up just to deal with the moves his opponent had.
Not this time.
This time, his opponent was vastly inferior. He couldn't even take advantage of the opening that Nabiki had just caused with her icy glare. After all, this Ken Bakker was only first dan in one of the most common forms of Okinawan karate. Ranma could have beaten his foe easily even before his ill fated trip to China.
Stupid Panda, he thought.
Ranma blocked an axe kick, grabbed his opponent's leg and swept him to the floor. Bakker rolled back and took up a crane stance. Ranma rolled his eyes at the stance, rushed past his foe's defenses and, with little more than an extended pinkie finger, knocked him to the ground.
"Give up?" he asked.
Bakker shook his head, not understanding. Ryoga's companion spoke up in English, translating. The light of understanding shot through Bakker's eyes, and he tapped the mats, twice. Ranma stepped back, giving his opponent the opportunity to get to his feet.
"Feh," he muttered. "I didn't even break a sweat." Turning to the translator, he continued, "Hey, Green, who's the next fight?"
"Um," John Green stammered. "I guess I'm your next opponent, but my friend Russ wanted to spar with your father, and I need to warm up. I'm still a bit stiff from the train ride from Juuban."
"Huh," Ranma replied. "Okay, I suppose. Pops has needed to get off his butt all day."
Genma leaped to his feet and smacked Ranma in the back of his head.
"Disrespectful whelp!" the elder Saotome hollered. "I've been meditating to better test the skills of my opponent!"
"Izzat what you're callin' sleepin' with your eyes open now?" Ranma asked.
"It's harder than it looks, boy!"
"Whatever, Pops! It looks like your opponent is coming this way."
Noticing his opponent, Genma bowed to the young man who had been talking to Nabiki. Through John Green, he negotiated the terms of the match.
"All right," Genma began. "Fight to surrender, signaled by tapping out, or unconsciousness."
The translator spoke with Russell Wood, the young man in the blue gi. After a brief exchange, Russell nodded, and added something in English.
"Agreed," John said, "but Russ would like to stipulate two things. One: he would like to have this match outside."
"That's the way I like it, anyway," the elder martial artist stated gleefully.
"Two: he doesn't want Ranma watching this match."
Ranma squawked indignantly, and Genma narrowed his eyes and grinned.
"Gladly. Anything else?"
"Now wait a minute, Pops," Ranma began.
"Quiet, Boy!" Turning back to the translator, Genma continued. "Anything else, or are we set?"
A brief discussion between the two visiting martial artists led to slight nods and a couple head shakes, after which John turned back to Genma. Russ stepped out into the courtyard and stood in a ready stance by the koi pond.
"He's ready," John said. "Just keep it clean. He doesn't have much in the way of ki skills yet."
"I understand," Genma said expansively. "I'll keep it a match of skill." With that, he leapt from the dojo and landed on a rock on the other side of the koi pond from Russell. "We'll start as soon as you close the door to the Dojo." Genma took up a ready stance as John relayed the message to his friend, who nodded.
Ranma made an attempt to move out into the yard, but Soun reached over and gently restrained him. All the other spectators got up and went to the porch, except for Ryoga and the translator. Soun sighed a bit, and then turned to Ranma.
"Son," he began. "This is your father's fight, and it is his right to fight as he sees fit. If he doesn't want you to see this fight, then he must have a reason. Please respect that."
"Okay, Mister Tendo," Ranma agreed grudgingly, and sat down as Soun walked out to view the fight. He turned to Ryoga as John closed the doors and the sounds of battle drifted in. "All right, P-Chan, spill it."
"Who's P-Chan?" Ryoga asked indignantly.
"You are," John said cheerfully from where he had begun to stretch. Ignoring Ryoga's glare in his direction and addressing Ranma, he continued. "Ryoga told us about your... little problem with cats."
"What does my fear of c-c-c-ca... them have to do with anythin'?" Ranma asked. "And why'd you tell these guys, anyhow, Bacon Breath?"
Ryoga bristled, and began edging towards his pack and umbrella. Strangely, John was there already, blocking Ryoga's progress. Ryoga was getting angrier, but John merely shook his head no. Much to Ranma's surprise, Ryoga backed down.
"He told us because we have Jusenkyo curses, too," John said. "Russ has a curse form that Ryoga knew would trigger the Nekoken very quickly."
"You do?" Ranma asked, deflating. "He did? W-what does he turn into?" Ranma was suddenly glad his father had given in to the request to exclude him from the spectators.
"Aiyaa, Mister Customer!" John said in a very good imitation of the Jusenkyo Guide. "You friend fall in Paoniichuan, or Spring of Drowned Leopard! Very tragic story of Leopard that drown in spring 1400 year ago..."
Ranma gulped. He was really glad his father had excluded him. Akane was the only person who could calm him down from the effects of the Nekoken, and she wasn't home from school yet. She had had to stay after school to help clean up the Home Ec kitchen after her disastrous attempt at a soufflé had exploded. The last time he had gone into the Nekoken when triggered by a big. . . one of them, he had acted like a cat for hours. He didn't really like to think about it.
"Um, thanks," he said sheepishly. "I get the picture. Man, this is hard to say... but, thanks, Ryoga."
Ryoga was thunderstruck. He had obviously not expected Ranma to thank him, and appeared to be in shock. John chuckled, and began a kata.
Ranma turned a practiced eye towards the translator and watched as he swooped through a fairly intricate pattern of blocks, strikes, kicks and dodges. Each motion was competent and fluid, with enough power to loosen up his muscles and limber his joints.
He's not bad, Ranma thought. Not as good as me, but not bad. Hmm. There's something familiar about that kata... It almost looks like. . . Ranma shook his head as John finished.
"Where didja learn that?" Ranma demanded. "That's an Anything Goes kata. Only five other people I know of know that kata, and one of them's me."
"Oh, this?" John answered. "You could say that a perverted letch taught it to me."
"You were taught by Happosai?" Ranma asked incredulously. This guy could be trouble, he thought.
"Not my choice, believe me. Heck, it's Happosai's fault I've got a Jusenkyo curse."
"He pushed you in?"
"Yup. He was being chased by a winged minotaur thing with tentacles, and I was by a pool, trying to avoid falling in, and the freak used my head as a springboard. I fell in, and got cursed."
"Hmm, that sounds like ol' Pantyhose," Ranma mused. "So, what spring did you fall in?"
"That," John said, putting a finger to his lips and winking, "is a secret."
"Okay, I get it, you don't wanna say, but will you eventually tell us?"
"Oh, I can't avoid it. You know, the whole 'water magnet' thing and all."
"Yeah, tell me about it. I can't even walk down the street without somebody splashin' me at least once..."
Ryoga had finally recovered from the shock of Ranma actually thanking him for something, and caught up with the conversation.
"I thought," Ryoga began, "that you were going to tell Ranma right away which spring you fell in, John."
"Well," John replied, "I want to wait until after our fight, if possible."
"Aren't you at least goin' to explain why Happosai taught you Anything Goes?" Ranma asked.
"Okay," John said. "I guess I have little choice there, but I still won't say exactly which spring I fell into just yet."
"Understandable," Ryoga said, nodding. "I respect your desire to keep that much a secret right now." He began twiddling his fingers, obviously nervous. "You do know, however, you don't have much time before you have to tell?"
"I do," John said. "Anyway, Ranma, it goes like this: I get out of the spring, and discover I'm cursed. Looking down, I realize I'm lucky enough to stay human, but not the same as I was normally. The breasts are a dead giveaway."
"Nyanniichuan," Ranma breathed.
"No," John said. "You do realize that there are at least five other springs at Jusenkyo that can result in a female transformation, right? Don't worry about it too much, I had made the same assumption at the time."
"You knew about Jusenkyo and went there anyhow?"
"I didn't have much choice. I was relying on Ryoga for directions to an anime convention. More the fool, me."
"Feh. You can say that again."
John smirked a little, and said, "That again." A confused look flitted across Ranma's face. John took a deep breath and continued, "Anyway, while I'd been struggling out of the spring, Pantyhose (is that right?) and Happosai had been fighting around the valley, wrecking my car, and knocking my friends into the springs. The old letch had gotten a respite from his fight by hitting him with a couple of bombs. Happi's looking pretty beat up, but then he spots me."
"Oh, man!" Ranma groaned. "Lemme guess, the old freak felt you up?"
"Worse than that. The pervert hollers, 'Sweeto!' and leaps up to me. I'm still in shock, so I don't react to him unrolling a scroll, looking at it, and then proceeding to give me a thorough gynecological examination. I, of course, pass out."
Ranma shuddered. He remembered the first time he'd been groped in his female form by Happosai. It had been traumatic for him, and he'd had the curse for longer than John had had his. So he wasn't just in shock from turning into a girl, but also from being molested by an expert. It was amazing the guy wasn't still catatonic. Ranma felt anger building up inside him.
"That's it!" Ranma shouted. "The old freak dies!"
"I'm on the same page, Ranma," John said, noticing Ranma's expression. "However, my story's not finished. I found out later that the scroll he had contained a shiatsu technique called 'The Lucky Scholar Point.' Happosai had stolen it from the Nichiezu Amazons. The freak had applied the technique to me because he had thought it was a groping method. And, having looked at the scroll afterward, I could see why. Each tsubo in the technique is located in a very. . . intimate location. Thus, the 'exam.'"
Ranma looked a little green at this. Ryoga looked like he was remembering something that made him very angry. Ranma noted this and set it aside to think about later. He leaned forward and asked a question.
"So, what's this technique supposed to do?"
John thoughtfully pondered the question, and then answered, "It's a memory technique that was created by an Amazon scholar who wanted her lover to be able to carry out an intelligent conversation. It increases the recipients mental and physical memory to almost eidetic levels."
"Eidetic?" Ranma stumbled over the unfamiliar word. "Whassat mean?"
"It means," Ryoga piped in, "that John has near total recall and photographic reflexes."
Ranma blinked. "Photographic reflexes? I've heard of photographic memory, but not photographic reflexes."
"It's not very common," John said. "It means that I am now adept at learning physical skills very quickly. I remember everything I've ever done, said, heard, or felt and how I did it."
"Hey!" Ranma said, smiling. "That reflexes thing kinda sounds like me!"
John nodded. "From what Ryoga's said, it does. Anyway, I was still catatonic and somehow the guys and Ryoga got me to the Amazon village..." He trailed off, lost in thought.
"What happened next?" Ranma asked, intently listening.
"I can't finish this story until I show you my curse, and I was going to let as many people know about it at once as I could get away with."
A loud double splash came from out in the yard, followed by a couple of shouts.
"Sounds like Russ' curse just got shown," John said idly. Ranma shuddered, not wanting to think about a leopard in the koi pond. The muffled thuds, snarls, and crashes indicated that the fight continued.
The dojo door slid open, and Kasumi slipped in and shut the door quickly. Beyond, in the garden, the noises stopped.
"Oh, my," Kasumi said. "It appears Uncle Saotome and Mister Wood are done. I'm just going to get the kettle for them." With that, she glided into the house proper. Moments later, Nabiki came in.
"Who won?" Ranma asked her. Nabiki arched one eyebrow and raised her palm in her usual gesture of pay me. Sighing, he reached into a pocket and handed her a couple of thousand-yen bills. She stuffed them down the front of her shirt and smirked.
"Well," she said, her voice a sultry purr, "it looks like a draw." Seeing the stare she was getting from John, she posed a little. John flushed bright crimson, making her smirk wider as she sashayed into the house.
Ranma's eyebrows shot up. "Huh," he said, ignoring Nabiki's antics. "Gotta give your friend some credit, Green. If he can fight pops to a draw, he has to have some skill."
"I could have told you that," Ryoga said. "After all, I've been sparring with them since they were cursed. Wood's given me a couple of good fights."
"Izzat so?"
"Yes. He's about as good as you were before the old ghoul got after you. A little more rigid in his style, though."
Ranma turned back to John. "Has he got any ki attacks at all?"
"A couple," John agreed, flustered by Nabiki's antics. "His attacks are fairly simple. No blasts or beams like the Shi Shi Hokodan, just the old 'hand-sword' bit. Although I've started work on a technique based on a speech from his style's first Grandmaster." On more familiar territory, he'd regained his composure.
"An' that is?"
"Bruce Lee's 'be like water' routine." John grinned. "I know what I want it to do, I just need to figure out how to do it."
Ranma pondered this for a moment. "I see. So, Ryoga, what didja think of Bakker's stuff?"
Ryoga thought for a bit, then answered with a grin. "He makes Kuno look good." Good-natured laughter came from the three martial artists.
"That," John said, wiping a tear from his eye, "is so true!"
"You've met Kuno?" Ranma asked him, surprised.
"Yes." John put his hand up behind his head, embarrassed. "I was in my curse form at the time and he hit on me. Ryoga and I sent him packing, though."
Ryoga shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "I didn't help that much," he said weakly.
"Oh, come on!" John said, exasperated. "You told me what a nutbar he was, and that I was better off booting him into Low Earth Orbit, so I did! I wasn't even trying."
"Yup," Ranma said, nodding. "That sounds like a Kuno encounter, alright." Ranma kind of liked the way this conversation was going. It seemed to him that John wasn't a bad guy to know. For one thing, he had actually come up and politely asked for a sparring match instead of tracking him down and challenging him to a grudge duel. The guy also had a similar curse to his own, so he had someone to talk to about the problems facing a man among men who was also an aquatranssexual. This was shaping up to be a good day, after all. The only way it could get any better was if their sparring match proved that John was at least in the middle ranks of the Nerima martial arts community. Ranma could use a challenger who wasn't out to get him for personal reasons.
"Your turn, boy!" Genma shouted from the garden.
"Looks like our match is about to begin," John said.
"I'm ready whenever you are," Ranma replied. "Let's go to it." With that, the three martial artists walked out to the garden.