***Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and her licensees. Used without permission for nonprofit entertainment. Go buy some copies of the manga and anime; it'll keep 'em out of my hair. ***
Soun grinned at his friend and co-conspirator, Genma. He was holding a brand-new gi and a belt denoting a fourth-dan ranking. Normally, he wouldn't have bothered, but his prospective student was a foreigner. Foreigners seemed to expect the belt-ranking nonsense that Soun, Genma, and Happosai discarded as unnecessary to the Art. As if a colored bit of cloth proved anything; the very idea was ludicrous. He snorted and resumed his grin.
"It's so exciting, Saotome!" he enthused, tears forming in his eyes. "I have another student worthy of learning Anything Goes!"
"Indeed, Tendo," Genma said. "Green has shown incredible skill for a gaijin. His endurance, however, leaves much to be desired."
"A minor detail," Soun said, "and of little consequence. After all, he trained under the Master..." Soun and Genma glanced furtively around, trying to make sure the perverted gnome was nowhere around. Soun lowered his voice. "... And his 'Midori Ryu' is identical to the Tendo Ryu. Let's pull his fragment back into the Tendo School so that when Ranma and Akane marry, the schools will be united."
"And you could use another sparring partner," Genma said, smirking. "You're a little out of practice, you know. I can't face you seriously until you're back in fighting form." Soun's shoulders slumped.
"You're right, Saotome," Soun said sadly. "I haven't been able to train Akane since she was twelve. She reminds me too much of her mother..." Soun began weeping softly. "Oh, Kimiko, my love, why did you have to leave me?" Soun whispered.
Genma shifted uneasily. Dealing with emotions had never come easily to him, and Soun's all-too-frequent mood swings were something he couldn't understand. All he knew was how to snap Soun out of them. He took up an authoritarian pose and prepared to speak. The effect was ruined by the fact that he didn't look at all authoritarian, but instead he looked like a rather shifty individual trying to look authoritarian and failing miserably.
"Well, Tendo," Genma said. "We could ask Ranma to train Akane while you get Green up to our standards... and while they train..."
"Their love will bloom..." Soun said, hope growing with every word.
"And the schools will be united!" Soun and Genma shouted in unison.
*****
Nabiki paused on her way to the Dojo, and shook her head sadly when she heard the two old fools yelling about uniting the schools. Don't those two realize, she thought, that Ranma and Akane would have been already been married if not for all their hare-brained schemes? Not to mention a few of my own. Nabiki frowned slightly. Was she feeling guilty? She considered for a moment. She was. Damn. She shook her head to clear it of such disturbing thoughts. Much better. Now to get pictures of "John-chan."
Making sure the new roll of film was properly inserted into her camera, Nabiki continued on, and almost tripped on a small, furry shape. She looked down and realized it was Ken Bakker in his cursed form. He was holding one of Genma's panda-signs that read, "Hello there, someone else's wife!" Well, she thought, Green is knocked out. He won't be going anywhere anytime soon, so I can make some quick money off of this idiot.
"Have accident, Bakker-san?" Nabiki asked dryly in English. She intentionally roughed her accent up a bit, so that "Bakker" came out "Baka." She grinned to herself as the small furry martial artist nodded pitifully. No need, she thought, for him to know I'm perfectly fluent just yet. She pointed to herself. "Can get hot water, ne?"
The enthusiastic agreement in Bakker's eyes transcended language and speech barriers. It also made it easier to ignore the panda sign saying, "Ashura ate my dinner! Boo hoo!" Nabiki's trademark predatory smirk graced her features.
"Will cost one thousand yen," Nabiki said. Then, noting the blank look on Bakker's muzzle, she sighed. "Is about ten dollars, American." Dawning comprehension, she thought wryly, looks so cute on a red panda!
Ken dashed around the corner and returned quickly with a large leather wallet in his mouth. With practiced ease, he pulled out a single green bill from it. He took the bill in his forepaws and presented it to Nabiki. She took it eagerly, and gave it a quick once over.
Something wasn't right about it. Nabiki had seen American currency before and this was different. True, it was the right shade of green, but the portrait was larger than she expected, and off-center. She looked closer, and sighed in relief when she noticed the denomination and that the seals were correct. They must have finally decided to update their bills, she thought. With a long practiced gesture, she placed the bill in her usual place and went to get the kettle from her room that she had prepared for just such an occasion.
"I come back soon," she said, still playing her part to the hilt. "Be good panda and stay, yes?"
She took the jaunty salute and the sign reading, "I saw the whole thing! Even now as I recall it..." as a yes. He really needs someone to tell him not to use Genma's old signs until he can read Japanese, she thought.
*****
Kasumi smiled softly as she watched John's sleeping form. So much like Akane, she thought. Well, I suppose that's understandable, considering his curse. The smile was short-lived, however, as John began REM sleep. The neo-girl's neutral expression was changing to a frown and she began to thrash about, throwing off the blanket Kasumi had put on her.
"Oh, dear," Kasumi fretted. "I'm going to have to find a nightgown or pajamas for John-chan if she sleeps like this." It just won't do for her to sleep naked. Looking around the room, her eyes were drawn towards the three backpacks against the wall.
They were large, Chinese-style backpacks like Ryoga's. One was red, another was blue, and the last one was green. Kasumi took a wild guess and thought the green backpack had to be John's. She was hesitant to open it, because it just wasn't good manners to rifle through another's belongings without permission. Walking over, and looking closer, she noticed a note pinned to the green backpack.
She examined the note. It was written in quirky kanji, but was perfectly legible.
Kasumi--
If John is unconscious after his sparring match, please wash his clothes.
They're in this bag.
--Ryoga
She smiled. She had permission.
Opening the pack, she was surprised by how efficiently it was packed. There appeared to be more things inside than she would have thought could possibly fit. Right near the top were a garment bag and a denim bag marked with the word "Laundry" in both English and Japanese. Kasumi pulled these out and set them aside, then closed the pack back up, as she had seen no other clothes in it.
Curious, she opened the garment bag. Inside were a red flannel nightgown, a red satin cloak of some sort, and a strange blue-green mantle. They seemed to be clean, so Kasumi removed the nightgown and closed the garment bag.
This should do nicely, Kasumi thought, fingering the nightgown, although it looks a little large for John-chan's cursed form. With quick, sure motions, she put the nightgown on John. She was relieved when the neo-girl's thrashing slowed down, then slowly stopped. She smiled again when she heard John talking in her sleep.
"Thanks, Big Sister Kasumi," John murmured.
"You're welcome," Kasumi said gently, "Little Sister."
*****
Russ looked on in shock at the scene before him. The eldest Tendo sister had just dressed an unconscious John in the robe from his Rezo the Red Priest costume. That wasn't what shocked him, however.
"Arigatou, Kasumi-neechan," John murmured.
"Dou itashimashite," Kasumi said gently, "imoutochan."
That was what shocked him. True, he couldn't understand the Japanese being spoken, but he understood the underlying tones and body language. Kasumi had just "adopted" John.
He sweated nervously as Kasumi noticed him in the room. She smiled.
God, he thought, she smiles like an angel. He felt his heart flutter in his chest. He shook his head and realized that she had been speaking to him and was now looking concerned.
"Daijoubu desu ka, Wood-san?" Kasumi asked.
"Huh?" he asked intelligently. "'Dye-job desk?" He frantically thought of all the Japanese he knew. Then, in a flash of inspiration, he remembered one of John's favorite Japanese phrases. He turned to Kasumi and spoke in the deep, serious tones he remembered from the subtitled version of Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai.
"Ore no atama wa ouki chiizu de gozaru yo," he said.
*****
"Mah head is a big ol' cheese, that it is," Russ said in deep, serious tones.
Kasumi stifled a giggle. Russ-san is so silly! Then, she noticed his confusion. Of course! He doesn't speak much Japanese! She racked her brain for the English she had learned in school. True, she had been a straight "A" student, but she hadn't really practiced much. Her sister, Nabiki, was much better at it than she was. Hoping she got it right, she spoke.
"You all right are?" she asked. The dawning light of comprehension on Russ's face rewarded her.
"Yes," Russ said. "Is John okay?"
"John-chan tired is." Kasumi thought for a moment. "Her sleep, we should let. However, dinner is soon ready." She was shaking off her rustiness, slowly but surely.
"Thank you, Miss Kasumi."
"You're welcome, Russ-san." Kasumi smiled and gently led Russ out of the Dojo. "You to dinner, I take."
*****
Next time on The New Guys:
Nabiki discovers several secrets about John, Russ, and Ken!
We discover what happened in the three weeks between Jusenkyo and the guys' arrival in Nerima!
Kasumi says, "Oh, my!"
Shampoo makes an appearance!
Kaoru smacks Kenshin with a shinai... oops, wrong fic... Akane mallets Ranma! Or not!
Everyone finally eats dinner!
Coming as soon as I write approximately 20 KB worth!