:: Ayu-chan and Son Goku stare intently at a TV Screen:
Ayu-chan: See, there. There. It looks like Sanzo is giving us all the finger, see? No denying it.
Son Goku: No, there're two fingers...:: looks over:: ^_^ Oh, konichiwa. Ayu and I were just watching the second half of the series about me-
Ayu-chan: You mean Saiyuki...
Son Goku: ^_~ Same thing. And where debating about the opening-picture-things-
Ayu-chan: -And there, I love that hat you have-
Son Goku: ^_^ So, you guys go ahead and read while we discuss-
Ayu-chan: -and look here, you look like you're going to a rave-
Son Goku: Happy reading. :: looks back to screen::
Ayu-chan: Doesn't Sanzo look so cute with his ponytail?
Son Goku: ^_^; :: sweat drop::
Episode 3-ish: Needing Entertainment AKA An Excuse to Go Back to the Hot Springs.
"TRAAAAVELING!!! TRAAAAAVELING!"
"Ayu, shut it...you'll be a fine back up singer." Charlie said, stirring his bowl of mush. Ayu looked over at Charlie, stuffing her arm into her sleeve,
"I'm not so sure...I've never heard Rei sing before...you think we can work together?" Charlie's eyes turned into little starlets as the looked off into the air,
"Any chance to sing behind Ayanami-sama is a blessing."
"That's right, your signing too..." Charlie began to drool into his bowl of mush when a bang came at the boys' front door. Shinji came out the back to answer the door.
"Ohayo, Ayu-chan." He said before opening the door. Asuka was standing there, "Uh oh..."
"Is the puttz spawn here?" She asked in a very calm, un-Asuka like tone.
"Yeah, Ayu's here. She's sitting at the table with Charlie."
"Tell the unworthy ones that Rei will be ready by tonight."
"I'll be sure to tell them-"
"And be sure to tell the unholy-maggot-Ayu not to be depressed when I win the contest. That is all." Ayu stabbed a fork into the table, making some mush jump into Charlie's face. Shinji closed the door behind Asuka as she left. Ayu didn't seem to notice,
"I, Ayu LaQuisha Hamuera, swear that I will beat Asuka-" Before Ayu could finish, Shinji cut her off,
"Um, Ayu-chan?"
"Nani..." She asked with a low grumble, flicking mush off Charlie's nose.
"I just wanted to know...why you were always here."
"Oh, well, you see Shinji-kun..." Ayu rose to her feet and pulled a laser pointer out of her pocket, before pulling a large chalkboard out from the side of the screen. She directed the laser pointer at the blank board, "As you can see Charlie and I are close."
"I don't see-"
"Yes, I know. And from that you have deducted nothing, hence the board." Shinji sweat drop, "Charlie is my cousin-type-brother-thing-person. We're almost like family." Ayu slapped Charlie's back, bringing him back to his Rei-less reality.
"Oh..." Shinji said, sitting at the table, "So, when do you come over? I never see you come..."
"Well, it all depends...I came over last night though."
"Wait...you stayed over?! Where did you stay?!" Just then, Toji stumbled out of the backroom, swinging a plushy of himself.
"Ayu..." He mumbled in a morning haze, "You left this...yawn in my room last night." A block of ice formed around Shinji,
"You....you....you...slept in Toji's room....?" Charlie chuckled,
"You think I would let Toji get his grips on my cousin-sister-type-thing-person? Could you imagine what he would do to her?" Shinji could imagine, but I doubt you care to know...
Ayu slowly began to chisel Shinji from the ice, before getting agitated.
"Darn block of ice..." She reached into her pocket and felt around, taking her time. Shinji stood still, looking very cold, while Toji collapsed on the floor in a sudden fit of weariness. His plushie squeaked as it bounced to Charlie's feet. Charlie picked it up when he noticed Ayu holding a large mallet over Shinji's head.
"Hey, Ayu, stop that. He's thawed out already." Shinji sat dripping wet, sniffling a time or two.
"Oh..." Ayu said, noting the cold, sniffling boy. She stuffed the mallet back into her pocket, "Maybe I should warm him up instead..." She said slowly.
"With what? A hair drier?" Charlie said, tossing the plushy up and down.
"No..." She said shyly, "Like Excel warmed Hyatt up in the sixth episode of Excel Saga." Charlie placed his hand to his chin and thought for a moment before the episode came rushing back to him. He dropped Toji's plushy in astonishment,
"NO! NO Ayu! I forbid it! Not in my house! What could ever make you think of such a thing?!"
"I meant with my clothes on." Charlie felt the blood rush to his face,
"Oh, of course." Ayu then grabbed Shinji in a hug, and Toji sprang back to life.
"Hey, wait a minute. What's going on here? I fall out for a second and you're all over another man."
"Shinji is weak, and feeble. If he doesn't warm up, he will catch Pneumonia and die." Shinji looked up,
"No, I won't die. I can take care of...myself." He jumped up, water seeping into his shoes, "I, Ikari Shinji, swear that I will prove to Ayu that I will not die of pneumonia."
"Whatever," Ayu said light-heartedly, "I got to get ready for tonight." She then trotted out the door and into the expansive hallway. After a quiet moment, Charlie picked up Toji's plushie and Toji crawled over on his knees to Shinji.
"Shinji-kun...teach me the way of the pitiful so I can weasel a hug out of Ayu." Collective Shinji Charlie sweat drop.
* A cute blob rolls across saying "nyu-nyu-nyu-dehh, nyu-nyu-nyu-dehh."*
Rei walks up to a microphone set in the middle of a blank, empty stage. She tapped it lightly, sending small vibrations through the air. Charlie jumped up in the audience and began to cheer.
"AYANAMI-SAMA!" Collective Audience sweat drop. Asuka shot him an evil glance, and he sat back down. Ayu turned her head and caught Asuka's eye. The stared at each other...
stare....
Stare...
STARE!!!
Rei cleared her throat.
"I am going to sing now...please pay attention." Everyone stared at Rei, as a familiar tune began to play...well, maybe not...no one knew what it was, exactly. Yet, Rei sung anyway.
"Zankoku na tenshi no you ni ... shounen yo shinwa ni nare~eeee..." Suddenly, a hot, jungle-y beat begins to play as bright reds and oranges lights played across the stage. The crowd began to dance as Ayu 's jaw dropped. Shinji took a seat next to her, a blanket around his shoulders and a bag of hot water on his head.
"Who knew Rei had such...spunk?" She whispered as Rei continued to sing. Rei swayed in an uncharacteristic, happy, energy filled way as she sung. Shinji sneezed and said,
"Boaw...who dew Wei had so buch enrgee? Dat sowng sounds so fabiliar..." The crowd applauded loudly when Rei bowed and left the stage. Charlie jumped up and down like a maniac, swinging his fist around,
"Yeah AYANAMI-SAMA! YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ayu grinned and stood up as Misato took the stage.
"Well now, who knew that Rei could sing like that? In a few minutes, we'll have our next entry, but let me just remind you what we are competing for. In this talent contest, we will be competing for an all expense paid trip to a five star hot spring!" The crowd clapped, "And not only did gracious NERV set this all out for our personal entertainment," The audience of workers erupted into whoops and hollers, "But they picked me as your wonderful hostess." Misato grinned as the crowd fell silent. A cricket sounded of in the distance. Asuka killed it...another life destroyed by Asuka. Now it was perfectly quiet...Misato frowned.
"So..." She grumbled, "Without further a due, here's Ayu with her rendition of...Aoi Hitomi..." Misato marched of stage, and Ayu walked on wearing a long, flow-y dress thing. It was all white, and sparkly. I like shiny things.....
"Hello..." Ayu said, felling a shaking feeling in her legs, "I learned this song...in Japanese...just for you guys..." She looked off back stage, "MAESTRO!" The music started, and Ayu sang...pretty good actually, to the surprise of everyone. Some even felt a tear coming to their eye...cause the understood it. Of course, Ayu just looked the lyrics up online, so she was kinda fuzzy on the whole -translation- thing. When she finished, the crowd clapped, some yelling very nice comments. Ayu bowed, as a puff of smoke surrounded her. When it dissipated, Ayu was in an interestingly designed two-piece shorts set. The top exposed her stomach, but the arms were long and had flow-y purple sheets of cloth. Rei came out again, dressed in the same thing, and pushed her way in front of the mic.
"This song...is Sora's Folktale." Some more music started up, with a very hypnotic tone too. Ayu and Rei stood side by side, and sang the very, genie like song. Shinji's, Toji's, and Charlie's eyes went wide and they slowly rose to their feet. They marched like little hypnotized puppies to the edge of the stage and sat on the ground, swaying back and forth, like flowers in a breeze, or like boys that were hypnotized by two girls singing a very cool song during a talent show. The crowd leaned back and forth with blank looks on their faces.
"See Rei, it worked. I told you so." Ayu the raised her hand when the song ended and squealed out, "Pick us to win the contest because we are cute and we look good in little outfits! ARIGATO!" When Ayu yelled Arigato, the boys snapped back to their senses, and Shinji let out a terrifying sneeze. The crowd, hearing the earth shattering bodily sound snapped back as well and began to clap. Asuka then appeared on stage through one of her dark portals.
"You dare say that you look good in those? ASUKA looks better." Ayu opened her mouth to retort, but Rei shoved an orange in her head cavity. Where did she get the orange? It's Rei, who really knows her magic...
Rei lead Ayu off stage and instructed Asuka to perform. Asuka grabbed the microphone,
"I am going to..." She looked left and right, "Destroy the pitiful human race." The crowd fell silent, and Asuka grew angry. "CLAP!" The crowd erupted into applause. Asuka smiled. She put her hands above her head and created a big...black....orb....Oh holy cra-...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...
*The talent show is experiencing some technical difficulties. Kindly hold on for a moment while we paste the audience back together with a big glue stick. Thank you for you patients.*
Scorched and barely living, the audience blinked and puffed out rings of smoke. Toji and Charlie were burnt to crisps, but Shinji sat shivering.
"Why aren't you a pile of ashes?" Charlie asked. Shinji grinned,
" Maybe caws I thought Aybu slebt wit Toji again. I guess I turnbed into a blok of ice." Asuka bowed and skipped of stage. An ominous wind blew through the auditorium, making some spectators blow away. Toji and Charlie leveled out. Shinji shivered. After a few moments, Rei walked back out, and a whole Charlie spun up out the ground. (Think Michael Jackson in the 'Remember the Time' video).
"Aren't you glad I found that bomb shelter in my pocket Rei?" Ayu said running out of the stage, throwing an orange to the side. She had her trusty overalls back on. Toji crawled out of the ground, a brushed ashes of his head.
"Am I pitiful enough now, Ayu?" Ayu looked out at Toji,
"Yes, Toji. You are one pitiful son-of-a-"
"Rei-sama!!" Charlie called out waving, "I am so glad you are safe!! I was so..." He rambled on, not very important.
Up in a high, bullet proof, child-safety locked balcony, Commander Ikari sat, his hands under his nose. He looked out at the stage, and decided whom he'd crown the winner.
"I know who I will crown the winner!" He said to a random guy in the balcony, "Let us head down, and congratulate the winner." The guy was poorly drawn and done in blue crayon.
"Yes sir!" He said with the most horrible English voice actor you have ever heard in you life, "But the contest isn't over yet. Rei, Charlie, and Ayu have to sing Utada Hikaru's single Traveling."
"That can wait." The commander said as he walked over to the door. He jiggled the handle, "Darn these child locks. I can never open them." He looked over at the crayon guy. A sly grin spread across his face, and slowly tiptoed over to him. He placed his strong hands around the guy's shoulders and launched him out the window. Hey, I said bullet proof, not ugly-crayon-guy-proof. Ayu shrieked when the crayon guy hit the stage, and whacked him with a mallet. His body crumpled into crayon shavings and rolled off the stage.
"Opps..." Ayu said, slipping the mallet back into her pocket, "I thought it was Asuka again...my bad." Commander Ikari leapt down from the hole in the balcony and looked at the winner.
"I am here..." He said in a low menacing tone, "To pronounce Rei...and Ayu the winners." Ayu gave the victory sign and grinned,
"It worked! It worked!"
"Ayu..." Ikari said suddenly, sounding even more evil, if that's possible, "I only picked you because you destroyed that...crayon guy." Ayu blinked and dropped her hands to her side.
"Oh..." Ayu said all sad like. Rei grunted and the commander continued his speech,
"So, it is up to Rei if you go or not." Ayu looked sadly over at Rei and Shinji sneezed again,
"Send them all to the hot spring...so I don't have to hear them complain when I get back." All eyes fell on Rei. Ayu began to hop around,
"I'm going to a hot spring! I'm going to a hot spring..." Charlie looked in such bliss, it's almost impossible to explain.
"Rei...is going to be in a hot spring...NAKED!" He melted into a puddle of Charlie goo. Toji laughed at Charlie,
"Poor, un-controlled Charlie. You don't see me melting into a puddle of goo because Ayu is going to be naked..." Toji thought about what he said and shortly after melted into a puddle of Toji goo.
Asuka appeared out from one of her vortexes and landed on Puddle Charlie.
"Why didn't ASUKA win?" She asked sadly, stamping on Charlie.
"Well Asuka..." Commander Ikari began, "Not only did you destroy my auditorium, and more than three fourths of my staff, you also insulted the way Rei looked in a little outfit." The group looked at Commander Ikari,
"Are you saying...," Ayu began slowly, "you were checking Rei out?" Ikari looked harshly at Ayu,
"Of course so." Ayu raised and eyebrow and Shinji coughed,
"cough Pedophile cough."
"What did you cough, my un-manly, dieing son? You shouldn't be so sickly. Men don't get sick, men don't die, and men don't cough words."
"Well, it's not Shinji's fault he's a weakling." Ayu said shrugging her shoulders.
"cough Shinji cough Lover." The commander coughed. Asuka opened up another vortex while taking of her shoes,
"ASUKA is going to pack." She left her shoes in the Charlie puddle and disappeared through the whole in space. Ikari folded his hands over his mouth and said
"You all will leave in the morning." Before leaving himself. Ayu grinned and pulled two jars out of her pocket,
"All right! Let's start packing. After I put Charlie and Toji in these jars, I'll dig through there underwear and pick out clothes." Charlie and Toji turned back into boys,
"We can do that ourselves, thank you." They said in unison.
"Suit yourself." Ayu said, putting the jars away. Charlie pulled Asuka's shoes out of his pants.
"Oh...how did those get in there?" he asked, tossing them to the side, "Man...I feel like I was stepped on...by an elephant."
"You were..." Ayu mumbled with a laugh, "A demonic, retarded elephant." Shinji sneezed again,
"So...we're all going to the hot spring. Let's get ready!"
"Oh." Ayu said, looking at Shinji, "Your sinuses cleared up."
"Yeah," He said with a grin, "I can't die now. We're going away."
"So...does that mean you're going to die later?" Charlie jumped up on the stage and shoved another orange in Ayu's mouth,
"Shhh, Ayu. No giving away hints about the plotline." Ayu nodded, "Come now. We must go pack. And nothing to skimpy." Charlie led Ayu off the stage and back to her room. The others eventually dispersed...because the main focuses of the story left a long time ago, and they felt kinda foolish standing there. The audience sat...alone, forgotten, and barbequed.
*Rei walks across, singing 'The Real Folk Blues'*
There they all sit in the back of that new 2003 hummer. It's army printed and it just screams government organization. Ayu is listening to her Megumi Hayashibara CD.
"I wonder..." She said to Charlie, "This voice sounds so familiar all of a sudden." Charlie tilted his beret over his eyes.
"You probably just heard it on the radio or something." Ayu shrugged,
"I guess...but still-"
"Go to sleep, Ayu. We've got a long drive ahead of us." Ayu yawned and closed her eyes. The others in the car were sleeping...even the driver. Wait...no, that's not a good thing. Hold on one moment...
Ok, there we go. After being prodded with a large, sharp stick for three minutes, the driver woke up and regained control of the wheel, barely missing a deer, cat, rabbit, lake and old lady. No...he hit the old lady, never mind. But, he still continued on, bringing all the young Eva pilots to a destination for relaxation, and for some, a way to exact revenge.
I will get you next time... someone thought. And this time, no glue stick will be able to save you.
Ayu-chan: So, that's it for now...they'll get to the hot springs next time.
Son Goku: Can I tell them? Can I tell them?
Ayu-chan: Tell them what?
Son Goku: The plan, the plan!
Ayu-chan: Sure, why not?
Son Goku: Yeah! You see-
Ayu-chan: :: cuts Son Goku off:: I will tell you why not! We are out of time, and I can't have you disclosing secret plot information!
Son Goku: Oh, then why didn't you just say no? You difficult girl.
Ayu-chan: Hehehe, you know you love me, even if I am difficult. Well, we'll see you guys next time! Ja ne!
Son Goku: Who said anything about loving you?
Ayu-chan: See, there. There. It looks like Sanzo is giving us all the finger, see? No denying it.
Son Goku: No, there're two fingers...:: looks over:: ^_^ Oh, konichiwa. Ayu and I were just watching the second half of the series about me-
Ayu-chan: You mean Saiyuki...
Son Goku: ^_~ Same thing. And where debating about the opening-picture-things-
Ayu-chan: -And there, I love that hat you have-
Son Goku: ^_^ So, you guys go ahead and read while we discuss-
Ayu-chan: -and look here, you look like you're going to a rave-
Son Goku: Happy reading. :: looks back to screen::
Ayu-chan: Doesn't Sanzo look so cute with his ponytail?
Son Goku: ^_^; :: sweat drop::
Episode 3-ish: Needing Entertainment AKA An Excuse to Go Back to the Hot Springs.
"TRAAAAVELING!!! TRAAAAAVELING!"
"Ayu, shut it...you'll be a fine back up singer." Charlie said, stirring his bowl of mush. Ayu looked over at Charlie, stuffing her arm into her sleeve,
"I'm not so sure...I've never heard Rei sing before...you think we can work together?" Charlie's eyes turned into little starlets as the looked off into the air,
"Any chance to sing behind Ayanami-sama is a blessing."
"That's right, your signing too..." Charlie began to drool into his bowl of mush when a bang came at the boys' front door. Shinji came out the back to answer the door.
"Ohayo, Ayu-chan." He said before opening the door. Asuka was standing there, "Uh oh..."
"Is the puttz spawn here?" She asked in a very calm, un-Asuka like tone.
"Yeah, Ayu's here. She's sitting at the table with Charlie."
"Tell the unworthy ones that Rei will be ready by tonight."
"I'll be sure to tell them-"
"And be sure to tell the unholy-maggot-Ayu not to be depressed when I win the contest. That is all." Ayu stabbed a fork into the table, making some mush jump into Charlie's face. Shinji closed the door behind Asuka as she left. Ayu didn't seem to notice,
"I, Ayu LaQuisha Hamuera, swear that I will beat Asuka-" Before Ayu could finish, Shinji cut her off,
"Um, Ayu-chan?"
"Nani..." She asked with a low grumble, flicking mush off Charlie's nose.
"I just wanted to know...why you were always here."
"Oh, well, you see Shinji-kun..." Ayu rose to her feet and pulled a laser pointer out of her pocket, before pulling a large chalkboard out from the side of the screen. She directed the laser pointer at the blank board, "As you can see Charlie and I are close."
"I don't see-"
"Yes, I know. And from that you have deducted nothing, hence the board." Shinji sweat drop, "Charlie is my cousin-type-brother-thing-person. We're almost like family." Ayu slapped Charlie's back, bringing him back to his Rei-less reality.
"Oh..." Shinji said, sitting at the table, "So, when do you come over? I never see you come..."
"Well, it all depends...I came over last night though."
"Wait...you stayed over?! Where did you stay?!" Just then, Toji stumbled out of the backroom, swinging a plushy of himself.
"Ayu..." He mumbled in a morning haze, "You left this...yawn in my room last night." A block of ice formed around Shinji,
"You....you....you...slept in Toji's room....?" Charlie chuckled,
"You think I would let Toji get his grips on my cousin-sister-type-thing-person? Could you imagine what he would do to her?" Shinji could imagine, but I doubt you care to know...
Ayu slowly began to chisel Shinji from the ice, before getting agitated.
"Darn block of ice..." She reached into her pocket and felt around, taking her time. Shinji stood still, looking very cold, while Toji collapsed on the floor in a sudden fit of weariness. His plushie squeaked as it bounced to Charlie's feet. Charlie picked it up when he noticed Ayu holding a large mallet over Shinji's head.
"Hey, Ayu, stop that. He's thawed out already." Shinji sat dripping wet, sniffling a time or two.
"Oh..." Ayu said, noting the cold, sniffling boy. She stuffed the mallet back into her pocket, "Maybe I should warm him up instead..." She said slowly.
"With what? A hair drier?" Charlie said, tossing the plushy up and down.
"No..." She said shyly, "Like Excel warmed Hyatt up in the sixth episode of Excel Saga." Charlie placed his hand to his chin and thought for a moment before the episode came rushing back to him. He dropped Toji's plushy in astonishment,
"NO! NO Ayu! I forbid it! Not in my house! What could ever make you think of such a thing?!"
"I meant with my clothes on." Charlie felt the blood rush to his face,
"Oh, of course." Ayu then grabbed Shinji in a hug, and Toji sprang back to life.
"Hey, wait a minute. What's going on here? I fall out for a second and you're all over another man."
"Shinji is weak, and feeble. If he doesn't warm up, he will catch Pneumonia and die." Shinji looked up,
"No, I won't die. I can take care of...myself." He jumped up, water seeping into his shoes, "I, Ikari Shinji, swear that I will prove to Ayu that I will not die of pneumonia."
"Whatever," Ayu said light-heartedly, "I got to get ready for tonight." She then trotted out the door and into the expansive hallway. After a quiet moment, Charlie picked up Toji's plushie and Toji crawled over on his knees to Shinji.
"Shinji-kun...teach me the way of the pitiful so I can weasel a hug out of Ayu." Collective Shinji Charlie sweat drop.
* A cute blob rolls across saying "nyu-nyu-nyu-dehh, nyu-nyu-nyu-dehh."*
Rei walks up to a microphone set in the middle of a blank, empty stage. She tapped it lightly, sending small vibrations through the air. Charlie jumped up in the audience and began to cheer.
"AYANAMI-SAMA!" Collective Audience sweat drop. Asuka shot him an evil glance, and he sat back down. Ayu turned her head and caught Asuka's eye. The stared at each other...
stare....
Stare...
STARE!!!
Rei cleared her throat.
"I am going to sing now...please pay attention." Everyone stared at Rei, as a familiar tune began to play...well, maybe not...no one knew what it was, exactly. Yet, Rei sung anyway.
"Zankoku na tenshi no you ni ... shounen yo shinwa ni nare~eeee..." Suddenly, a hot, jungle-y beat begins to play as bright reds and oranges lights played across the stage. The crowd began to dance as Ayu 's jaw dropped. Shinji took a seat next to her, a blanket around his shoulders and a bag of hot water on his head.
"Who knew Rei had such...spunk?" She whispered as Rei continued to sing. Rei swayed in an uncharacteristic, happy, energy filled way as she sung. Shinji sneezed and said,
"Boaw...who dew Wei had so buch enrgee? Dat sowng sounds so fabiliar..." The crowd applauded loudly when Rei bowed and left the stage. Charlie jumped up and down like a maniac, swinging his fist around,
"Yeah AYANAMI-SAMA! YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ayu grinned and stood up as Misato took the stage.
"Well now, who knew that Rei could sing like that? In a few minutes, we'll have our next entry, but let me just remind you what we are competing for. In this talent contest, we will be competing for an all expense paid trip to a five star hot spring!" The crowd clapped, "And not only did gracious NERV set this all out for our personal entertainment," The audience of workers erupted into whoops and hollers, "But they picked me as your wonderful hostess." Misato grinned as the crowd fell silent. A cricket sounded of in the distance. Asuka killed it...another life destroyed by Asuka. Now it was perfectly quiet...Misato frowned.
"So..." She grumbled, "Without further a due, here's Ayu with her rendition of...Aoi Hitomi..." Misato marched of stage, and Ayu walked on wearing a long, flow-y dress thing. It was all white, and sparkly. I like shiny things.....
"Hello..." Ayu said, felling a shaking feeling in her legs, "I learned this song...in Japanese...just for you guys..." She looked off back stage, "MAESTRO!" The music started, and Ayu sang...pretty good actually, to the surprise of everyone. Some even felt a tear coming to their eye...cause the understood it. Of course, Ayu just looked the lyrics up online, so she was kinda fuzzy on the whole -translation- thing. When she finished, the crowd clapped, some yelling very nice comments. Ayu bowed, as a puff of smoke surrounded her. When it dissipated, Ayu was in an interestingly designed two-piece shorts set. The top exposed her stomach, but the arms were long and had flow-y purple sheets of cloth. Rei came out again, dressed in the same thing, and pushed her way in front of the mic.
"This song...is Sora's Folktale." Some more music started up, with a very hypnotic tone too. Ayu and Rei stood side by side, and sang the very, genie like song. Shinji's, Toji's, and Charlie's eyes went wide and they slowly rose to their feet. They marched like little hypnotized puppies to the edge of the stage and sat on the ground, swaying back and forth, like flowers in a breeze, or like boys that were hypnotized by two girls singing a very cool song during a talent show. The crowd leaned back and forth with blank looks on their faces.
"See Rei, it worked. I told you so." Ayu the raised her hand when the song ended and squealed out, "Pick us to win the contest because we are cute and we look good in little outfits! ARIGATO!" When Ayu yelled Arigato, the boys snapped back to their senses, and Shinji let out a terrifying sneeze. The crowd, hearing the earth shattering bodily sound snapped back as well and began to clap. Asuka then appeared on stage through one of her dark portals.
"You dare say that you look good in those? ASUKA looks better." Ayu opened her mouth to retort, but Rei shoved an orange in her head cavity. Where did she get the orange? It's Rei, who really knows her magic...
Rei lead Ayu off stage and instructed Asuka to perform. Asuka grabbed the microphone,
"I am going to..." She looked left and right, "Destroy the pitiful human race." The crowd fell silent, and Asuka grew angry. "CLAP!" The crowd erupted into applause. Asuka smiled. She put her hands above her head and created a big...black....orb....Oh holy cra-...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...
*The talent show is experiencing some technical difficulties. Kindly hold on for a moment while we paste the audience back together with a big glue stick. Thank you for you patients.*
Scorched and barely living, the audience blinked and puffed out rings of smoke. Toji and Charlie were burnt to crisps, but Shinji sat shivering.
"Why aren't you a pile of ashes?" Charlie asked. Shinji grinned,
" Maybe caws I thought Aybu slebt wit Toji again. I guess I turnbed into a blok of ice." Asuka bowed and skipped of stage. An ominous wind blew through the auditorium, making some spectators blow away. Toji and Charlie leveled out. Shinji shivered. After a few moments, Rei walked back out, and a whole Charlie spun up out the ground. (Think Michael Jackson in the 'Remember the Time' video).
"Aren't you glad I found that bomb shelter in my pocket Rei?" Ayu said running out of the stage, throwing an orange to the side. She had her trusty overalls back on. Toji crawled out of the ground, a brushed ashes of his head.
"Am I pitiful enough now, Ayu?" Ayu looked out at Toji,
"Yes, Toji. You are one pitiful son-of-a-"
"Rei-sama!!" Charlie called out waving, "I am so glad you are safe!! I was so..." He rambled on, not very important.
Up in a high, bullet proof, child-safety locked balcony, Commander Ikari sat, his hands under his nose. He looked out at the stage, and decided whom he'd crown the winner.
"I know who I will crown the winner!" He said to a random guy in the balcony, "Let us head down, and congratulate the winner." The guy was poorly drawn and done in blue crayon.
"Yes sir!" He said with the most horrible English voice actor you have ever heard in you life, "But the contest isn't over yet. Rei, Charlie, and Ayu have to sing Utada Hikaru's single Traveling."
"That can wait." The commander said as he walked over to the door. He jiggled the handle, "Darn these child locks. I can never open them." He looked over at the crayon guy. A sly grin spread across his face, and slowly tiptoed over to him. He placed his strong hands around the guy's shoulders and launched him out the window. Hey, I said bullet proof, not ugly-crayon-guy-proof. Ayu shrieked when the crayon guy hit the stage, and whacked him with a mallet. His body crumpled into crayon shavings and rolled off the stage.
"Opps..." Ayu said, slipping the mallet back into her pocket, "I thought it was Asuka again...my bad." Commander Ikari leapt down from the hole in the balcony and looked at the winner.
"I am here..." He said in a low menacing tone, "To pronounce Rei...and Ayu the winners." Ayu gave the victory sign and grinned,
"It worked! It worked!"
"Ayu..." Ikari said suddenly, sounding even more evil, if that's possible, "I only picked you because you destroyed that...crayon guy." Ayu blinked and dropped her hands to her side.
"Oh..." Ayu said all sad like. Rei grunted and the commander continued his speech,
"So, it is up to Rei if you go or not." Ayu looked sadly over at Rei and Shinji sneezed again,
"Send them all to the hot spring...so I don't have to hear them complain when I get back." All eyes fell on Rei. Ayu began to hop around,
"I'm going to a hot spring! I'm going to a hot spring..." Charlie looked in such bliss, it's almost impossible to explain.
"Rei...is going to be in a hot spring...NAKED!" He melted into a puddle of Charlie goo. Toji laughed at Charlie,
"Poor, un-controlled Charlie. You don't see me melting into a puddle of goo because Ayu is going to be naked..." Toji thought about what he said and shortly after melted into a puddle of Toji goo.
Asuka appeared out from one of her vortexes and landed on Puddle Charlie.
"Why didn't ASUKA win?" She asked sadly, stamping on Charlie.
"Well Asuka..." Commander Ikari began, "Not only did you destroy my auditorium, and more than three fourths of my staff, you also insulted the way Rei looked in a little outfit." The group looked at Commander Ikari,
"Are you saying...," Ayu began slowly, "you were checking Rei out?" Ikari looked harshly at Ayu,
"Of course so." Ayu raised and eyebrow and Shinji coughed,
"cough Pedophile cough."
"What did you cough, my un-manly, dieing son? You shouldn't be so sickly. Men don't get sick, men don't die, and men don't cough words."
"Well, it's not Shinji's fault he's a weakling." Ayu said shrugging her shoulders.
"cough Shinji cough Lover." The commander coughed. Asuka opened up another vortex while taking of her shoes,
"ASUKA is going to pack." She left her shoes in the Charlie puddle and disappeared through the whole in space. Ikari folded his hands over his mouth and said
"You all will leave in the morning." Before leaving himself. Ayu grinned and pulled two jars out of her pocket,
"All right! Let's start packing. After I put Charlie and Toji in these jars, I'll dig through there underwear and pick out clothes." Charlie and Toji turned back into boys,
"We can do that ourselves, thank you." They said in unison.
"Suit yourself." Ayu said, putting the jars away. Charlie pulled Asuka's shoes out of his pants.
"Oh...how did those get in there?" he asked, tossing them to the side, "Man...I feel like I was stepped on...by an elephant."
"You were..." Ayu mumbled with a laugh, "A demonic, retarded elephant." Shinji sneezed again,
"So...we're all going to the hot spring. Let's get ready!"
"Oh." Ayu said, looking at Shinji, "Your sinuses cleared up."
"Yeah," He said with a grin, "I can't die now. We're going away."
"So...does that mean you're going to die later?" Charlie jumped up on the stage and shoved another orange in Ayu's mouth,
"Shhh, Ayu. No giving away hints about the plotline." Ayu nodded, "Come now. We must go pack. And nothing to skimpy." Charlie led Ayu off the stage and back to her room. The others eventually dispersed...because the main focuses of the story left a long time ago, and they felt kinda foolish standing there. The audience sat...alone, forgotten, and barbequed.
*Rei walks across, singing 'The Real Folk Blues'*
There they all sit in the back of that new 2003 hummer. It's army printed and it just screams government organization. Ayu is listening to her Megumi Hayashibara CD.
"I wonder..." She said to Charlie, "This voice sounds so familiar all of a sudden." Charlie tilted his beret over his eyes.
"You probably just heard it on the radio or something." Ayu shrugged,
"I guess...but still-"
"Go to sleep, Ayu. We've got a long drive ahead of us." Ayu yawned and closed her eyes. The others in the car were sleeping...even the driver. Wait...no, that's not a good thing. Hold on one moment...
Ok, there we go. After being prodded with a large, sharp stick for three minutes, the driver woke up and regained control of the wheel, barely missing a deer, cat, rabbit, lake and old lady. No...he hit the old lady, never mind. But, he still continued on, bringing all the young Eva pilots to a destination for relaxation, and for some, a way to exact revenge.
I will get you next time... someone thought. And this time, no glue stick will be able to save you.
Ayu-chan: So, that's it for now...they'll get to the hot springs next time.
Son Goku: Can I tell them? Can I tell them?
Ayu-chan: Tell them what?
Son Goku: The plan, the plan!
Ayu-chan: Sure, why not?
Son Goku: Yeah! You see-
Ayu-chan: :: cuts Son Goku off:: I will tell you why not! We are out of time, and I can't have you disclosing secret plot information!
Son Goku: Oh, then why didn't you just say no? You difficult girl.
Ayu-chan: Hehehe, you know you love me, even if I am difficult. Well, we'll see you guys next time! Ja ne!
Son Goku: Who said anything about loving you?