Letters to a Dear Stranger
"Love Always" Part II
Fic type: Smallville
Placement: TV
Explanation/Descript: Clark in Smallville..this will be a collection of
letters between Clark and Chloe when finished
Talk: Thoughts welcome.....flame somewhere else
Writer: Manda -- bloodrosedragon@hotmal.com
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
How many times will I have to say I'm sorry before you'll talk to me again? I must have said it a dozen times before you left and the way you looked at me when you left to board your plane -- you wouldn't even hug me, just that look, blank, scared and hurt. Pete just punched me in the shoulder after you boarded and said I was doing the Kent charm justice all over again.
I hated it.
I know what happened Thanksgiving night was a shock to me, too. Waking up that next morning, confused, but concerned. You we're gone. You weren't even there in the morning. I know where you'd gone. I know where you'd gone because you always went there when you were scared or angry. I knew you would have given me that flat stare then and not just before boarding the plane.
I'm sorry for the way it all started. I was stupid. You were home and I didn't realize till you were there and in front of me how much a void was there when you weren't. Between the classes I'm taking via the internet, helping my parents, and with everyone I must have buried it somewhere under all those stars, because now that your gone again I can't stop thinking about you and kicking myself.
I'd hate to loose your friendship, to loose you. Not over this. I don't want to think we've been friends so long that one night could tear us completely apart. You forgave me for the formal even. I know this is slightly worse, but this can't be the end of it. Please, write me, call me, send me an e-mail. Something, anything.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
It's been three weeks. You won't return my letters or my calls. The first time you answered the phone you hung up on me. The second time one of your friends told me you were not there, something that's a touch hard to believe since no one shares your room with you. The third time I got him. I guess that was the infamous Joseph we all heard so much about over Thanksgiving dinner when your parents asked.
He sounds...nice. I don't know what to say about him except he sounds like the kind of person I'd be over you if someone was hurting you. He told me not to call you back that you didn't want to talk to me any time soon and that I should leave you alone. You probably already know that though you were probably on the other end of the conversation.
I suppose I should be glad you found someone wonderful who's also willing to protect you. A new protector for you. I never imagined you having a protector, Chloe. You were always the one up in the person's face making your point, showing your fiery edge, getting them braced against the wall with the right side of your sharp wit. I knew it was worse when you refused to talk. I didn't think I'd hurt you that badly and I don't want to turn the tables on you and say it wasn't just me. None of us expected anything to happen that night. It was so odd, so unpredictable.
I really don't want to loose you as a friend, Chloe, but at this point it seems the only way to keep you is to let you go. To hope you'll still come back someday.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
I know I said I would leave it up to you and I have so far. Today I'm making one tiny exception before going back.
I just wanted to tell you the leaves have started changing colors again. Deep shades of reds, maroons, purples, orange and yellow. It's almost a time for long sleeve shirts and knit caps. Everyone was outside playing in the leaves, an interesting thing for people almost twenty and one person beyond it, but it was somehow completely care free and natural for us to do out of the blue.
Lana's going to take over the Talon so Nell can take a relaxing trip soon. Otherwise she seems to be
Pete is commuting to college and complains about it all the time. Lex says he stays now because the plant is doing so well. I know better, he feels more alive with us than any where else. He doesn't tell them....but I know. I can see it though. In the way he laughs, smiles, talks to all of them. There are these rare moments where you suddenly realize that he doesn't have any armor. It's just Lex and all of us. It's like for these moments in time there is no bad memories existing in him.
Somehow when we were all laughing and throwing leaves at each other it was like a ghost of you was right there with us all along laughing.
The missing piece of our circle of friends.
Now as I watch the leaves blowing around the yard from the loft, I can see why. I can see you twirling in the leaves the way you did years ago, crazy and free.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
I'm not sure what to say really now. I thought I was writing to a stone wall and suddenly this letter addressed to me from you shows up. I held it for an eternity not opening it. I carried it with me half the day dreading opening it. Dreading reading that you'd tell me to get out of your life for good. Dreading you'd tell me just where to stick myself and never come back.
But you didn't. I am saved by that small grace.
I wonder if there is anyone who can write a letter so well telling me everything about their life at present and nothing at all as well as you did. It felt hollow, like you'd done it for a task. I don't want to be a task to you Chloe, but I know I can't even say we could behave just as friends now even. Everything got so messed up. I know that you were hurt by the past holidays, but hopefully you'll see past them to still coming down for Christmas.
Dad finally got the land problems settled. We're building an addition on to the house now. I'm trying to avoid all the baby jokes that everyone throws around about the 'addition' to the house. It caught mom oddly the first time I relayed it to her. I can see that not being able to have children is with her always when I said that. She says it doesn't bother her because she has me, but somewhere deep down sometimes I wonder.
I feel like I'm doing okay in my classes...but something's missing Chloe. It's been missing since school ended. It's been missing since you left. It's missing everyday and I can't figure out what it is. Maybe it's not even specifically missing, but a need for something more just without the knowledge of what it is. We get only so many years as children and then suddenly we're teenagers in adult bodies trying to be our parents.
I'm imagining terrible things of me in my father's shoes now. I don't want to be a farmer, Chloe. I know how to do it, I do it everyday along with him when I'm not helping someone else. I will be something else..something important to me. Something that fulfils me and defines my life for the better. I just have to find it. Sometimes when the stars are shining very bright above me and I stare at them long, I feel I almost know what it is, but fast as it comes it leaves me.
It'll come to me one day.
We're hoping to have the house addition done in time for the holidays. I'm asking to their permission to throw a dinner party for everyone. Another dinner like Thanksgiving, all of our families together. Continue it this holiday, and the next and the next. Make it a new tradition that will bring us all home together each time.
Can you see Christmas in Smallville, Chloe? Snow on the ground and a tree lit up in the middle of the town? Cider and caroling? Snowflakes falling on to upraised tongues? Forts and snowball fights?
It won't be Christmas with you.
It's not home with you.
Please say your still coming.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
Colder here already. Excuses for fireplaces in grand houses.
I had my first fire yesterday at Lex's manor. Playing chess in the main room with him, while he talked mythology and I just did my best to keep him off his balance. Didn't work very well, but it was a great night. Lex seems to be doing better now. His father's out of the picture more than he's in it. The plant hasn't had any big problems lately and Smallville is almost unnaturally quiet in wait for this holiday.
You can smell the change in the seasons. It's so wonderful. Decorations are already up in the windows of all the stores in town. We even put up a zillion decorations in the Talon last week. It took hours but the place looks almost magical.
I have this feeling like the first year is ending and it's beginning all over again, Chloe. The fist full year away from high school, away from the life that tied us all so closely together. The first true steps into our real lives. There's something wonderful and scary about it. I'm still at home. I didn't make the immediate leap into life you make everyday I've ever known you.
I feel jealous of the people who get that every morning now. The world has always been your oyster, Chloe, and no one was ever going to be able to keep you from it. The best of us get to watch you make it your own.
Mom has started putting out decorations. She just shouted up the stairs asking whether I think we need a new wreath for the front door. The tree is up but the ornaments aren't up yet. That was always our job. Yours, mine and Pete during the last few years. I told her to wait. That it'd be a few days later than normal, but that we'd get it done. Lana and Lex have mentioned an interest in joining into whatever festivities we're all doing that their welcome to. I told them I'd tell you and Pete.
Your plane gets in three days from now. Your holiday will be wonderful, Chloe. I promise. This time nothing will go even slightly wrong. Everything will be perfect. You'll see.
Love Always, Clark
( continued in "Sincerely Yours" Part I )
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
How many times will I have to say I'm sorry before you'll talk to me again? I must have said it a dozen times before you left and the way you looked at me when you left to board your plane -- you wouldn't even hug me, just that look, blank, scared and hurt. Pete just punched me in the shoulder after you boarded and said I was doing the Kent charm justice all over again.
I hated it.
I know what happened Thanksgiving night was a shock to me, too. Waking up that next morning, confused, but concerned. You we're gone. You weren't even there in the morning. I know where you'd gone. I know where you'd gone because you always went there when you were scared or angry. I knew you would have given me that flat stare then and not just before boarding the plane.
I'm sorry for the way it all started. I was stupid. You were home and I didn't realize till you were there and in front of me how much a void was there when you weren't. Between the classes I'm taking via the internet, helping my parents, and with everyone I must have buried it somewhere under all those stars, because now that your gone again I can't stop thinking about you and kicking myself.
I'd hate to loose your friendship, to loose you. Not over this. I don't want to think we've been friends so long that one night could tear us completely apart. You forgave me for the formal even. I know this is slightly worse, but this can't be the end of it. Please, write me, call me, send me an e-mail. Something, anything.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
It's been three weeks. You won't return my letters or my calls. The first time you answered the phone you hung up on me. The second time one of your friends told me you were not there, something that's a touch hard to believe since no one shares your room with you. The third time I got him. I guess that was the infamous Joseph we all heard so much about over Thanksgiving dinner when your parents asked.
He sounds...nice. I don't know what to say about him except he sounds like the kind of person I'd be over you if someone was hurting you. He told me not to call you back that you didn't want to talk to me any time soon and that I should leave you alone. You probably already know that though you were probably on the other end of the conversation.
I suppose I should be glad you found someone wonderful who's also willing to protect you. A new protector for you. I never imagined you having a protector, Chloe. You were always the one up in the person's face making your point, showing your fiery edge, getting them braced against the wall with the right side of your sharp wit. I knew it was worse when you refused to talk. I didn't think I'd hurt you that badly and I don't want to turn the tables on you and say it wasn't just me. None of us expected anything to happen that night. It was so odd, so unpredictable.
I really don't want to loose you as a friend, Chloe, but at this point it seems the only way to keep you is to let you go. To hope you'll still come back someday.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
I know I said I would leave it up to you and I have so far. Today I'm making one tiny exception before going back.
I just wanted to tell you the leaves have started changing colors again. Deep shades of reds, maroons, purples, orange and yellow. It's almost a time for long sleeve shirts and knit caps. Everyone was outside playing in the leaves, an interesting thing for people almost twenty and one person beyond it, but it was somehow completely care free and natural for us to do out of the blue.
Lana's going to take over the Talon so Nell can take a relaxing trip soon. Otherwise she seems to be
Pete is commuting to college and complains about it all the time. Lex says he stays now because the plant is doing so well. I know better, he feels more alive with us than any where else. He doesn't tell them....but I know. I can see it though. In the way he laughs, smiles, talks to all of them. There are these rare moments where you suddenly realize that he doesn't have any armor. It's just Lex and all of us. It's like for these moments in time there is no bad memories existing in him.
Somehow when we were all laughing and throwing leaves at each other it was like a ghost of you was right there with us all along laughing.
The missing piece of our circle of friends.
Now as I watch the leaves blowing around the yard from the loft, I can see why. I can see you twirling in the leaves the way you did years ago, crazy and free.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
I'm not sure what to say really now. I thought I was writing to a stone wall and suddenly this letter addressed to me from you shows up. I held it for an eternity not opening it. I carried it with me half the day dreading opening it. Dreading reading that you'd tell me to get out of your life for good. Dreading you'd tell me just where to stick myself and never come back.
But you didn't. I am saved by that small grace.
I wonder if there is anyone who can write a letter so well telling me everything about their life at present and nothing at all as well as you did. It felt hollow, like you'd done it for a task. I don't want to be a task to you Chloe, but I know I can't even say we could behave just as friends now even. Everything got so messed up. I know that you were hurt by the past holidays, but hopefully you'll see past them to still coming down for Christmas.
Dad finally got the land problems settled. We're building an addition on to the house now. I'm trying to avoid all the baby jokes that everyone throws around about the 'addition' to the house. It caught mom oddly the first time I relayed it to her. I can see that not being able to have children is with her always when I said that. She says it doesn't bother her because she has me, but somewhere deep down sometimes I wonder.
I feel like I'm doing okay in my classes...but something's missing Chloe. It's been missing since school ended. It's been missing since you left. It's missing everyday and I can't figure out what it is. Maybe it's not even specifically missing, but a need for something more just without the knowledge of what it is. We get only so many years as children and then suddenly we're teenagers in adult bodies trying to be our parents.
I'm imagining terrible things of me in my father's shoes now. I don't want to be a farmer, Chloe. I know how to do it, I do it everyday along with him when I'm not helping someone else. I will be something else..something important to me. Something that fulfils me and defines my life for the better. I just have to find it. Sometimes when the stars are shining very bright above me and I stare at them long, I feel I almost know what it is, but fast as it comes it leaves me.
It'll come to me one day.
We're hoping to have the house addition done in time for the holidays. I'm asking to their permission to throw a dinner party for everyone. Another dinner like Thanksgiving, all of our families together. Continue it this holiday, and the next and the next. Make it a new tradition that will bring us all home together each time.
Can you see Christmas in Smallville, Chloe? Snow on the ground and a tree lit up in the middle of the town? Cider and caroling? Snowflakes falling on to upraised tongues? Forts and snowball fights?
It won't be Christmas with you.
It's not home with you.
Please say your still coming.
Love Always, Clark
~*~*~
Dear Chloe,
Colder here already. Excuses for fireplaces in grand houses.
I had my first fire yesterday at Lex's manor. Playing chess in the main room with him, while he talked mythology and I just did my best to keep him off his balance. Didn't work very well, but it was a great night. Lex seems to be doing better now. His father's out of the picture more than he's in it. The plant hasn't had any big problems lately and Smallville is almost unnaturally quiet in wait for this holiday.
You can smell the change in the seasons. It's so wonderful. Decorations are already up in the windows of all the stores in town. We even put up a zillion decorations in the Talon last week. It took hours but the place looks almost magical.
I have this feeling like the first year is ending and it's beginning all over again, Chloe. The fist full year away from high school, away from the life that tied us all so closely together. The first true steps into our real lives. There's something wonderful and scary about it. I'm still at home. I didn't make the immediate leap into life you make everyday I've ever known you.
I feel jealous of the people who get that every morning now. The world has always been your oyster, Chloe, and no one was ever going to be able to keep you from it. The best of us get to watch you make it your own.
Mom has started putting out decorations. She just shouted up the stairs asking whether I think we need a new wreath for the front door. The tree is up but the ornaments aren't up yet. That was always our job. Yours, mine and Pete during the last few years. I told her to wait. That it'd be a few days later than normal, but that we'd get it done. Lana and Lex have mentioned an interest in joining into whatever festivities we're all doing that their welcome to. I told them I'd tell you and Pete.
Your plane gets in three days from now. Your holiday will be wonderful, Chloe. I promise. This time nothing will go even slightly wrong. Everything will be perfect. You'll see.
Love Always, Clark
( continued in "Sincerely Yours" Part I )