One Lonely Star, You Don't Know Who You Are
Chapter 2



Pushing himself up into a sitting position on his bed, Tristan ran his well formed fingers through his tangled hair and forced his eyes to open. Frankly, 5:00 am is just too early to wake up in his opinion. Slamming his hand down on his alarm clock, he enjoyed the moments of silence before pushing himself up from his bed and blindly making his way towards his bathroom. Rubbing a hand over his face, he turned the shower on hot and removed his clothes from his toned body.

He hated mornings, he just hated them.

Stepping inside the shower slowly, he shut the glass door and let the warm water run freely over his body. He had gotten barely any sleep last night. After taking his little cousin Juliet home last night, around 6:00, he went to the country club and worked out a few hours in the gym, doing his best to relieve some of the tension from his body, and the thoughts from his head. This year at Chilton had been harder than others, and he wasn't quite sure why. Many of his friends had noticed the slight changes in him, teased him and asked him about it, but all it did was let him know he was slipping. Damn, he hated his friends.

Okay, not technically. He enjoyed their company when it was just them, outside of school walls and away from all the pressure to be a Chiltonie. At Chilton, they all put on a face, of being proper, being rich, and he hated it. Though he loved it at the same time.

Resting his head against the cool tile wall, he let the warm water trail over his neck and down his bare back, taking all the last bits of sleep with it down the drain. Without moving his head, he reached over and grabbed the sweet smelling soap and lathered it up in his hands before running it over his chest and abs. He welcomed the scent from his body and forced himself to move into a standing position, washing off his arms and shoulders. Stepping under the shower, he allowed the water to rinse him off before he started in on his hair.

Sometimes, he'd give anything to be a normal kid going to a normal highschool. To date a cheerleader with no brains, or maybe date the science geek. To be on the football team and go to low budget dances. To be able to wear whatever he wanted, to be able to study only one hour a night and be able to pass without giving it a second thought. Drive a 78' bug to school, paint pealing and a bad exhaust problem. Just to know what it felt like to be normal for one day, just to be anyone other than himself.

Turning off the shower, he opened the now steamed glass door and stepped out, not bothering to grab a towel. Wiping the steam away from the mirror with his hand, he stared as his naked body in the mirror. He had worked hard for this body, swimming, playing sports, working out, and it had all come to good use. Girls flocked to him, even in his Chilton uniform. His broad shoulders and slim, toned arms were a golden color, the remains of a perfect summer tan still lingering on his skin. Slim waist, perfect abs. He had worked for it all, and it had gotten him all the girls he'd ever wanted. Only problem was, that's all they were interested in. If it wasn't his arms or abs, or some part of his body, it was his eyes or his hair. The sad thing is, soon he began to only care about those things on a girl. They made him as shallow as they were. All he cared about in a girl was butts, breasts and straight white teeth. It didn't matter to him if he had to peel off her makeup after a makeout session. It didn't matter to him if he wasn't able to find a girls brains under the half a can of hair spray she had used that morning. He wanted a girl as beautiful as he was on the outside, and all the while his insides turned rotten.

Running his hand over his chest, he trailed a small pinked scar. It had happened last summer, only 3 months ago. The wounds had healed, but the scar was a perfect reminder of his memory of that day. It wasn't something he enjoyed talking about, much less thinking about, and no one other than his family had found out what happened. He followed the scar down his chest to where it ended on his hip. He hadn't been close to anyone since it happened, physically that is, so no one ever asked either. When he went swimming now it was always in his own private pool, away from wondering eyes. He doubted anyone would really care what had happened to him, only what had flawed his perfection

Ha! If they only knew. He was far from perfect, and he loved that about himself. Forget the piercing blue eyes, the styled hair, the pouty lips. He didn't care about those things anymore. He was flawed, and he loved it and he hated that he couldn't show it. Why couldn't people just know the real him? The person he was when he was alone.


*Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there's no one around*



They'd most likely die of shock from the things that would come out of his mouth. The thoughts, the opinions. His parents would disown him and he'd be less popular then Vanilla Ice. And would he care? Most likely. He may have improved in mental thinking and being open minded but he wasn't blind. Highschool was hell unless you were popular, and even then it was just the smallest step up from hell. He wasn't about to throw away 12 years of work, 12 years of perfecting his image just because he had 'seen the light', as they say. No, he would stay the Tristan everyone knew and loved until graduation, go away to college and let himself be free, for the first time in his life.

Finally, grabbing a towel, he dried his now cold skin, running the towel over the little goose bumps. Tying the damp towel around his waist, he walked back into his bedroom and allowed the now slipping towel to fall off, grabbing a pair boxers from the top drawer of his dresser. He giggled, holding them up.

Little stars. Perfect.

Slipping them on, he made his way over to his closet and began to pull out his uniform.
The only thing that scared him was, he had another 2 years of school left, and if he had to stay locked up inside for much longer, he was afraid he'd lose himself, just as quickly as he had found it. So he started hanging out with his little cousin, Juliet. Hell, she was only 6, and completely beautiful. Teenage boys would be following her around when she turned 16, asking her for dates, saying sweet things to win her over. Guys like himself. The thought of it made him shutter.

He would have to warn her about that when she was older, he concluded.

She was good for him, she helped him be free, if only for an hour or so, and he found himself slowly falling under the little girls spell. He loved her.


*Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
[One lonely star you don't know who you are]*



Dressing slowly, he managed to put all his clothes on properly and tie his tie without making himself feel to incompetent. He wasn't ready to go to school yet, but looking at his watch, he knew he only had 30 minutes until the bell rang, and even though it only took him 10 minutes to drive there, he had to make his rounds and put up appearances before the first bell.

Sighing, he grabbed his book bag and shrugged it over his shoulder before heading out his door, through the long hall way and down the massive stairs. He grabbed his keys off the door table and made his way out to his car, praying that this day would go by quickly. With any luck at all, his homework load would be light and he'd have the rest of his day to do whatever he pleased. His parents had gone on a month long trip through out Europe, and frankly he couldn't have been happier. The house was his, and his for a month. He could send the help home and run around naked for all he cared. He smirked to himself as he threw his bag into the back-seat. You know, he just might have to try that.

Putting in his Incubus CD, he started the car and screeched out of the long driveway and made his way to school.

"Well, I just hope today isn't boring."