DISCLAIMER: I don't own the newsies.
HAVE TIME MACHINE: WILL SELL PAPES
CHAPTER 4
The next morning, the girls were awakened by Kloppman pounding on their door. He was too polite to go inside and wake them (he wasn't sure what they slept in) so instead he settled for getting to their room extra early and pounding on the door for ten minutes until he heard sounds of intelligent life forms.
The girls heard the pounding and finally managed to crawl out of their beds and inform Kloppman that they were awake. They took turns using the small bathroom that connected to the room, then did their hair (well, Natalie, Liz and Eronn did their hair – Moni often liked hers to be as messy as possible) and had nothing left to do because they had gone to bed in their clothes.
They wandered downstairs to ask Kloppman when they would have to leave, and discovered that they still had about a half hour until it was time to leave the Lodging House. "I though girls like you would spend more time primping" Kloppman told them apologetically.
"You obviously don't know us very well," Liz told him.
"Well, it was a legitimate assumption" Eronn pointed out.
"How is that?" Natalie asked.
"Well, most girls of this era probably have nothing better to do than worry about their appearance."
"You know, you could say that about our era as well" Moni broke in.
"Your era?" Kloppman asked. "You young ones are confusing me."
"I confuse myself sometimes" Moni told him. "So you can join the club."
"What club?" Kloppman asked. "You girls are forming a club? What kind is it going to be?"
"We're not forming a club," Liz told him. "Moni was just sympathizing with you, that's all."
The other girls nodded. "Let's go back upstairs" Natalie said a second later, abruptly changing the subject.
"OK" the girls agreed.
"Sayonara Kloppman" Natalie said as she left the room.
Kloppman just looked more confused as the girls filed out of the room, then shrugged his shoulders. "Young 'uns" he said, as if that explained everything.
*****************************
The girls climbed the stairs and headed towards their door, except for Eronn who crouched by the newsies' door.
"What are you doing?" Natalie asked.
"Looks fun" Moni said. "Can I join?"
"Sure you can Moni. And I'm listening to the newsies."
"Why?" Liz asked cautiously.
"Shhh" Eronn said, cautioning them to be quiet. She pressed her ear to the door, the sighed. "They're not singing" she said, disappointed.
"Did you actually expect them to sing?" Liz asked.
Eronn shrugged, and then sat down against the wall near the door.
Natalie sat next to her. "It's OK, Eronn. Just because they're not singing the songs doesn't mean we can't."
"You're brilliant Natalie!" Eronn said, jumping up excitedly. "C'mon everybody – let's sing Carrying the Banner right now as we get ready to sell our papes!"
"We're already ready to sell our papes" Liz informed her.
"Spoilsport. We can still sing it, right?"
"Sounds good to me" Moni said. "I love that song. How does it go again?"
"Well" Natalie said, "I don't know it all, but I know for a fact that Liz does."
"That's very true Natalie" Eronn said. "But Liz would never sing in public, would you Liz?"
"Why wouldn't she?" Moni asked, not getting that Natalie and Eronn were trying to use reverse psychology on Liz. "And there's nothing wrong with it – you sang with me in the street yesterday Eronn."
Natalie and Eronn glanced at each other, then at Liz.
"Please?" Nancy asked.
"Pretty please?" Eronn asked.
"Pretty please with a cherry on top!" Moni recited, more an exclamation than a query.
"Oh, fine" Liz said. "But only if you guys sing it with me."
"Yay!" Eronn and Natalie yelled.
They all moved into their room and began singing:
That's my cigar!
Liz began quietly. "Louder!" Moni put in.
"Shut up!" Natalie told her.
"Keep singing!" Eronn hissed.
They continued.
You'll steal another!
Hey bummers we got work to do.
"Like what?" Moni put in.
Since when did you become me mudder?
Moni, Natalie and Eronn all turned and looked at Liz on this line.
Aw stop your bawling!
Liz said by herself.
Hey, who asked you?
All the girls chimed back in, trying to act like they were annoyed, although Natalie was failing horribly.
They all continued singing together.
Try Bottle Alley or da Harbor.
By this time Eronn had totally gotten into it and was doing her best impression of the newsies in the movie.
Try Central Park it's guaranteed.
Eronn elbowed Natalie, trying to convey the impression that she was giving her a tip, but failed miserably, resulting in a strange look from Natalie.
Try any banker bum or barber,
Natalie shrugged, not bothering to find out what Eronn meant.
They almost all knows how ta read.
I smell money!
By this point Moni had gotten totally into it. She even did jazz hands on this line.
You smell foul!
Liz held her nose and sang in a nasal voice.
Met this goil last night!
The girls sang this line but sort of petered down on the "goil" part.
Eh, move your elbow!
Liz and Natalie began elbowing each other lightly, as if they were fighting.
Pass the towel!
Moni sang this directly into Eronn's ear, causing near deafness.
For a buck I might!
Eronn sang back just as loud in Moni's ear.
Ain't it a fine life, carrying the banner through it all?
Natalie was really into it, and she, Moni and Eronn joined in dancing around the room.
A mighty fine life, carrying the banner tough and tall!
They went up to Liz and tried to drag her along with them.
Every morning, we goes where we wishes,
We's as free as fishes, sure beats washing dishes,
Liz managed to break away from the group at this point and sat down on Eronn's bunk below hers.
What a fine life, carrying the banner home free all!
The girls had an audience at this point, but were too wrapped up in the song to notice.
It takes a smile as sweet as butter!
Eronn sang this line, flashing a really fake smile that showed as much of her gums as possible.
The kind that ladies can't resist.
Natalie sang this line, fluttering her eyelashes.
It takes an orphan with a stutter.
Moni sang this line with the usual stutter, only she put lots of emphasis on the "ter" in "stutter", giving it a "superstar" type ring. (AN: Y'know the movie Superstar based on the SNL skit? This is supposed to be said like the lady in that says superstar.)
Who ain't afraid ta use his fist!
Liz finally sighed and got into it, singing this line, almost conking Moni upside the head with her hand as she swung her fist.
Summer stinks and winter's waiting!
While the girls were copying the moves from the movie, pretending the edge of the bunkbeds were barrels, Jack and Blink were standing in the hallway outside, watching them.
Welcome to New York!
"Eronn did this yesterday" Blink whispered.
Boy ain't nature fascinating,
"But now they're all just acting strange."
When youse gotta walk?
Jack shook his head. "It wasn't my idea to let them stay here."
Still it's a fine life, carrying the banner with me chums.
A mighty fine life carrying the banner with me chums…
On these two lines the girls put their arms across each other's shoulders and swayed as if they were at a concert.
A mighty fine life, blowing every nickel as it comes.
Blink and Jack looked at each other uneasily, then back at the girls.
A might fine life, blowing every nickel.
I'm no snoozer, sittin' makes me antsy,
Eronn got up and did the little dance she'd practiced over and over in front of the full-length mirror in her room. She did a little jig, then….
I likes living chancy, Harlem to Delancey
…kicked her right foot over her left and pivoted around.
What a fine life, carrying the banner through the slums.
Liz gave her a little applause as she rejoined the group.
Blessed children.
Jack and Blink looked at each other again.
Though you wander lost and depraved
Racetrack came up behind them to see what they were doing.
Jesus loves you, you shall be saved.
When he heard the girl's singing, he asked Blink, "Are they tryin' to convert us or something?"
Patrick
Just give me half a cup
Moni and Eronn took the lines of Patrick's mother, Liz and Natalie took the newsies lines.
Darling
Something to wake me up
"What the hell?" Mush asked, coming up behind the boys.
Since you left me
I gotta find an angle
I am undone
I gotta sell more papes
Liz and Natalie tried to look as pathetic as possible, while Moni and Eronn tried to look heartbreaking. None of them were really succeeding because they were having a bit too much fun at the moment.
Mother
Papers is all I got
Wish I could catch a breeze
At this point Natalie took the first set of newsies lines, Liz took the second. Moni and Eronn continued crooning away.
Loves you
Sure hope the headline's hot
All I can catch is fleasGod save-
God help me if it's not-my son!
Somebody help me please
Moni and Eronn finished off with a big wail on "son", making it more like "sooooooooooooooon!"
If I hate the headline,
I'll make up a headline
"Hey! They're singing about us!" Mush exclaimed.
And I'll say anything I hafta.
Jack, Blink and Race turned around and gave Mush a disbelieving look.
'Cause it's two for a penny,
"You just realized that now?" Race asked, trying not to laugh.
If I take too many Weasel just makes me eat em' after.
Moni and Eronn finally stopped the "son" and rejoined the rest of the group.
Look they're putting up the headline!
Eronn and Natalie sang this part.
What's it say? That won't play.
Moni and Liz chimed in on this part.
You call that a headline?
"What headline?" Mush asked at the door.
I get better stories from the copper on the beat
The other boys just glared at him.
So where's your spot? God it's hot.
Eronn and Natalie pretended to faint from heat exhaustion in a very melodramatic way.
I was gonna start with twenty
Not to be outdone, Moni and Liz decided to try and faint themselves, despite the total irrelevance to the line they were singing.
Now a dozen will be plenty
Will you tell me
How I'm gonna make ends meet?
We need a good assassination.
Here the girls did the usual pelvic thrust with enthusiasm.
We need an earthquake or a war.
Natalie imitated Jack's drunk-like walk from the movie in this part, while Moni also followed the movie by dragging Eronn to the side of the room (they always wondered why in heaven's name that kid was getting dragged off the screen for!).
How 'bout a crooked politician?
Natalie belted this line out, standing with her hands on her hips, acting all proud of herself.
Hey stupid that ain't news no more!
The girls yelled at Natalie, throwing pillows at her.
Uptown to Grand Central Station,
Natalie picked up her own pillow and hit Liz across the head with it, signing all the while.
Down to City Hall,
Eronn and Moni rushed for their pillows while Liz got pummeled.
We improves the circulation
Temporarily distracted by Eronn and Moni, Liz was able to grab her pillow, taking a swing at anybody who was near her.
Walkin' till we fall.
"Pillow fight!" Liz yelled right after they finished this line.
Still we'll be out there
Liz, Moni and Natalie all sang this part together.
Look! They're putting up the headline!
Eronn sang this part because she was the only one who had watched the movie enough times to actually figure out what the heck the newsies were saying in this part.
Carrying the banner man to man
"Man?" Mush asked briefly from the door.
They call that a headline?
"Just shut up now Mush" Blink told him.
The idiot who wrote it must be workin' for the Sun
"Probably Denton" Natalie whispered when she heard that line.
We'll be out there
Did ya hear about the fire?
Soakin' every sucker that we can
Hear it killed Old Man McGuire
Heard the toll was even higher
Why do I miss all the fun?
Eronn took a deep breath and sang these three lines.
See the headlines
Liz waved her arms over her head just like the boys in the movie did at this point (they had always wondered why that boy waved his arms, too, for that matter).
Hitched it on a trolley
Newsies on a mission
Meet ya Fourty-fourth and Second
Kill the competition
Little Italy's a secret
Sell the next edition
Bleeker's further than I reckoned
While we're out there
"Out where?" Mush asked, then grinned.
By the courthouse, near the stables
"I couldn't resist" he told them, nearly laughing.
Carrying the banner is the…
On the corner someone beckoned and I…
They broke off abruptly, but Eronn continued on, half humming, half singing the instrumental part that came next. The other girls stopped, however, and noticed the now rather large group that was standing outside their door, watching. They glanced at each other, then a little sheepishly at the boys.
Eronn was still singing, not noticing the total silence in the room. Liz finally stopped her, although by the time she got around to it, Eronn was already singing "Go get em cowboy! You've got em now boy!"
Eronn abruptly stopped dancing and glanced around the room. "Oh, uh…" she said awkwardly. She shrugged a little and smiled. "Whatcha guys doing?"
"Watching you" Jack replied. "And can I ask you the same question?"
"Sure" Eronn said. She paused, thinking. "Um, what was the question again?" she asked a little bit later.
Natalie laughed. "He wants to know why we were singing and dancing."
"Oh!" Eronn said. She looked around. "Well why doesn't one of you answer it?" she asked defensively.
Liz sighed. "We were just joking around" she explained.
"Yeah, we're not your average 1899 kind of girls," Moni told them.
Natalie walked over to Crutchy. "Are you ready to go sell papes?" she asked him.
"Sure! Let's go."
They walked out of the hallway and down the steps, and Eronn, Liz and Moni followed. The boys just stared at their retreating backs for a little bit, then followed them out the door.
*******************************
By the time the boys were halfway down the street, they had stopped thinking about the girl's performances that morning. They had short attention spans sometimes.
Moni walked down the street by herself, singing a little tune. Eronn and Liz walked together, watching the boys act half their age. They were really just acting wild in the streets – jumping around barrels, pretending to fight each other, sometimes actually fighting each other, fighting with the large useless sticks they carried around.
"Boys" Liz said, shaking her head.
"You've got to admit that they're cute though," Eronn told her.
"Well yeah, but they're so immature" Liz retorted. "I'm definitely not getting involved with a guy until I'm a little older and the guy's a little more mature."
"Hmm" Eronn said, grimacing to herself. "Well, good luck. Although I'm not really sure if they ever do mature all that much."
They reached the Distribution Office and stood outside the closed gates with the newsies at the front. They boys were still joking around and acting like five year olds, when suddenly Morris and Oscar Delancey broke through the crowd of newsies.
Suddenly, Racetrack pretended to be sniffing the air as he said "Dear me, what is that unpleasant aroma?" Liz and Eronn glanced at each other, recognizing what Race was saying. "I fear the sewers may have backed up during the night," Race continued, as Eronn mouthed along with him.
"Nah, too rotten to be the sewers" Liz said quietly, anticipating Boot's remark.
Sure enough, "Nah, too rotten to be the sewers" were the next words out of Boot's mouth.
Eronn and Liz glanced over at Natalie who was standing next to Crutchy. She looked a little perplexed at something, but hadn't quite caught on that they were at the start of the movie.
"It must be – the Delancey brothers!" Crutchy said, and suddenly Natalie's mouth opened.
She looked at Eronn and Liz. "The movie!" she mouthed. They nodded back as they newsies continued taunting the Delancey brothers. Natalie moved over to where they were. "Has Moni figured it out?" she whispered.
Liz shook her head. "She's across the street sitting on the curb. She's not close enough to hear."
Suddenly they heard Jack telling Oscar not to call people lousy little shrimps, then grab his hat and run with it. He flew past a started Moni, who jumped up and rejoined the group. They watched the fight unfold exactly like that in the movie.
They got pushed to the back of the group watching the fight, but when Jack bolted again, the girls moved back so they could watch. At that exact moment, Jack ran into a boy the girls recognized as David Jacobs, but the newsies didn't know yet.
Moni was standing really close to him, and he accidentally tripped over her foot. "Are you OK?" Liz exclaimed, giving him her hand to help him up. The other girls moved away as the fight ended so they could sing "Go get em cowboy! You've got em now boy!" They got some more strange looks, but it was worth it, they thought.
Meanwhile, back further, David was dusting off his clothes, while Liz picked up his hat and brushed it off while Les stood waiting next to his big brother. "Are you alright?" Liz repeated.
David nodded. "Thanks so much" he said a little shyly.
"No problem" Liz said in a matter of fact voice.
She began to walk away, when David told her "Wait!"
She turned around. "Yes?"
"What's your name?"
"Liz" she told him, turning around again and starting to walk away.
David ran up to her. "So do you work around here?"
"I'm a newsie," she told him.
"Hey, I'm going to become a newsie too. Me and my little brother Les here. So maybe we'll be seeing each other." David smiled hopefully.
Liz shrugged. "Sure, whatever. I've got to go now."
She turned around to see her friends watching her. "Someone's got a crush on you Liz" Eronn said in a sing-songy voice.
Liz rolled her eyes. "He does not."
"Why's he still looking at you then?" Moni asked sensibly.
Liz turned around to look at him, and he turned really fast. "Someone likes Liz, someone likes Liz!" Eronn continued.
"Oh, be quiet. Let's just go get our papes" she said, seeing David walk away.
TBC…