Disclaimer: yada, yada, yada, fantastic Baz Luhrmann yada yada yada yada
Christina.
The part title belongs to the fantastic Madonna.
A/N: Thx everyone who's reviewed, I've come to really appreciate my reviewers and reviews coz I went to the Voyager fanfic section and there are TONZ of fanfic but people are barely reviewing. Which is really sad, so I'm thrilled to have this community of extremely nice Moulin Rouge reviewers :o)
I know the title of the story doesn't make all that much sense yet, but it will later on, I promise.
Anyway, this is chapter 5. It's a bit different, but I hope you guys like it. It's called The End, but it's NOT the end. Please don't forget to review :o) Pretty please.
Eyes Like Yours
~ by Alicia Jo Twain ~
Part 3: Ray of Light
Chapter 1: The End
"Push, Satine! Push!!" Marie yelled.
"I ca-a-a-an't!!" Satine yelled back.
She was exhausted, my poor little chickpea. It has been like this for over five hours. Satine has been lying in bed for the past 2 weeks, she'd been feeling awfully weak. No appetite, she barely ate anything, and that was only for the baby's sake. She's coughed more and more blood. We called the doctor, but there was nothing he could do. He just said to keep her calm, not to upset her. Then this morning she said she was feeling even weaker and that she was having pains. I called for the doctor, not knowing what it was about. Marie, in the meanwhile, discovered Satine's water had broken and said she was in labor.
Satine went paler than she naturally was when she heard that. I guess it was scared her to think that she had reached her destination. She often said she was only living for the baby and that she'd be gone soon after. That time had come. She said it hurt too much. She started breathing faster; Marie coached her how to push and... It's horrible. I can't bear seeing her like that. My pumpkin... It's even worse than seeing her cough blood - this is real pain!
The doctor came but he doesn't do anything, really.
I'm standing outside Satine's quarters and I can hear her screaming.
It's tearing my heart.
And there's nothing I can do.
Nothing.
N-O-T-H-I-N-G!
I feel so helpless.
So useless.
I look around - the entrance to the elephant is splendid. Like a king's palace. The curtains are made of sheer silk, the wallpaper is red velvet, and the floor is covered in red carpet. Everything looks so new. Satine knew how to take care of her things.
But what is all this to her now?
What is all this to me?
I don't care.
I never have.
I only thought I did.
What do I want silk and velvet for when my little sparrow is in such pain - I can hear her muffled screams and the doctor encouraging her - what will I need all this for when she's gone.
There, I said it, she WILL be gone.
And soon.
Too soon.
She's still too young.
This can't be happening.
But it is.
Face it Harry, courtesans die young, especially your courtesans.
It was all my fault. How could I let this happen?
"Harry!!" I heard Satine scream from inside the room.
I shook my head.
I can't go in there. Not with Satine like that.
No. I can't.
She can't see me like this.
It's all my fault.
Another voice brought me out of my thoughts.
It was Marie yelling through the closed door, "Harry, Satine needs you here."
What should I do?
"Harry..." I heard the pleading in Satine's voice.
I went in.
I saw Satine in bed, where I'd left her, but her legs were wide apart and her face was wet with sweat. Her soft wavy curls fell on her face. She kept trying to remove them from her face but they kept coming back. Satine was still screaming and Marie was telling her to push. The doctor just stood there, not doing anything. I rushed over to Satine's side and brushed all that hair away from her face.
In the middle of all the yelling and shouting, she managed to give me a smile.
That lifted me up.
I needed to be here.
Satine needed me.
And if I hadn't been there for her before, I would be now!
She tried to say something, but she couldn't get a word out before another contraction came. That's what the doctor said it was. I wouldn't really know, this is the first time I was actually there for the delivery.
I said, "Don't worry, Satine. Think of the baby. You'll tell me later."
She seemed reassured and continued to follow Marie's instructions.
I couldn't believe this took so long.
And so much pain.
No wonder men don't have to go through this.
We'd faint before the real pain ever came.
"Here comes a big one!" Satine yelled and gave this terrible holler, I thought the light bulb would break.
"Can't you DO something?" I asked the doctor.
"No. She's having a baby, this is how these things are done. Are you a first child?"
"Ummmm... Yes," not quite understanding the reason of the question, "Why?"
"This is probably how much pain your mom went through to have you. First- time mothers have it the hardest."
I imagine my mom instead of Satine going through all of this for me and ewwwwww...
No wonder she always cursed me.
She'd often tell me that she almost died at childbirth.
Then it hit me!
Satine!!!
I shut out my thoughts and tried to help Satine as best as I could.
"Don't think about the pain, Satine."
"How do you bloody expect me not to think about it?!!!" she yelled at me.
"I mean..." I stammer, I have no idea what to say.
"Think about how it will be to have your daughter in your arms."
"Oh..."
That seemed to reassure her.
It worked so I kept repeating the same thing over and over while I kept thinking, "Poor Satine."
Then Marie raised her voice, saying, "We're almost there, Satine, a couple of more pushes."
"Oh Marie, I can't!! I ca-a-a-a-an't!!!" She gave another high-pitched scream.
"How do women do this, Marie?!!! This is terrible. I... I c-a-a-a-a-a-n't."
"I can see the head, c'mon, push!!"
"Think about Christina, pumpkin. Think about Christina," I say.
As soon as I said that, Satine pushed the hardest she could and in less than a minute Marie held Christina in her arms, "it's a girl!"
As the baby's crying filled the room Satine gave a loud laugh.
But it wasn't a grown-up laugh. It was like the laugh of child when given a lollipop. It was the same laugh I'd heard from her when she fell into that muddy puddle the day I'd met her. I hadn't heard it since and it warmed my heart to think that Satine was finally feeling like she used to.
Before everything.
Before the Moulin Rouge.
Before me.
"I told you it was a girl!" Satine said as she breathed a big sigh a of relief and let herself fall back on the pillows. A smile was plastered all over her face.
"Marie... can I hold her?"
Marie put the baby in a blanket and gave her to Satine.
She held Christina with such delicacy, like she was afraid her daughter would break.
Satine looked the baby over, making sure she wasn't missing anything, and as she counted she said out loud:
"Ten fingers."
"Ten toes."
"Two eyes."
"One mouth."
The latter was quite unnecessary, but it gave Satine such pleasure that we all just stared in awe, keeping out mouths shut.
Satine looked like she'd never looked before. She had only a simple smile on her face, but her face was lit up like a Christmas tree.
Christina cried and cried but Satine patiently tried to calm her.
"You might want me to quiet her," the doctor said insensitively.
All of a sudden Satine's expression changed to a ferocious one as she held Christina like a wild animal protecting her offspring.
"Why?? Aren't all babies supposed to cry?! They're spreading their lungs, or whatever!!!"
She stared at the doctor with such intense defensiveness.
He looked astounded.
Personally I had no idea what Satine was talking about. Lungs??!
"I've been reading, doctor!"
Then she let her guard down and said, "I've longed to have Christina in my arms for 8 whole months, this is music to my ears," and she smiled.
She looked so happy.
I'd never seen her like that. Even with Christian she wasn't THAT happy.
This was more than happy.
This was bliss.
Pure bliss.
The doctor then excused himself and left.
"Harry," Satine said and immediately coughed.
"Are you OK?" I asked sitting on the side of the bed.
"I'm fine..." she coughed again.
"I want to ask you something."
"Anything you want, chickpea."
She smiled at my old nickname for her.
Of all that was her favorite one.
"You know..." she trailed off.
I knew what she was going to say, but I couldn't bring myself to say it myself. I just waited for her to continue. I am such a coward!!
"You know that I am going to die very soon."
I kept quiet. I couldn't say anything. I just nodded.
"I want you to promise me that you'll take care of Christina for me."
"You know I will, Satine."
She coughed again and I helped her hold Christina as she put her hand to her mouth. When she lowered it I noticed blood on it, but she just made a fist and ignored it. That was Satine. She wouldn't let others suffer if she could help it. But I saw it, and so did Marie.
"I mean REALLY take care of her, Harry."
Again, I knew what she meant but I kept quiet.
"I want you to raise her as your own, which means educating her. Find someone like Emma. And no courtesan business for her. When she turns 13, I want you to give her the letters I've written her... Marie..."
Marie opened the drawer of her nightstand and took out a bundle of papers. She handed them to Satine, who handed them to me.
"You are to give her these and she will be old enough to decide for herself what tol do."
"OK," I said meekly.
"No courtesan business!!!"
"No courtesan business."
"Promise me, no courtesan business. Not even one. Not even the HINT of one!"
"OK, I promise," I said.
I can't say the thought hadn't crossed my mind, but this was Satine.
My Sparkling Diamond.
I would do what she wanted, even if it meant the end of the Moulin Rouge.
Hopefully not, though.
Satine went into a coughing fit and to reassure her I repeated, "I promise, Satine, I promise."
She stopped coughing and looked at Christina with so much love in a single look that my eyes started to water.
"Marie... you'll help Harry, won't you?!" she looked at Marie.
"Oh, Satine... I'll love and look after her as my own granddaughter."
"Help her..." she started coughing again.
"Help her find..."
She went into a long coughing fit and Marie took Christina away.
Satine couldn't stop coughing, and kept trying to say something.
"Help her..."
"Yes, of course I'll help her, Satine."
"Help... her... find..."
Blood stained the white linen sheets as I stared in horror.
I couldn't do anything.
"...find..."
"Find who, Satine?"
"find... Chr-christian."
"I promise, I will, I promise, Satine."
She gave me one last weak smile and just lay there.
Not coughing.
Not blinking.
Not breathing.
Not anything.
I promise, I promise I will take care of Christina.
When I'd first met Satine she was only a rosebud.
As she stepped into the Moulin Rouge she started blooming.
Then Christian came along and she bloomed like no other rose ever had.
Then he left and bit by bit the rose withered away.
Petal by petal slowly, but surely, fell to the ground.
There was no going back.
At last the final petal had fallen.
The rose was dead.
The part title belongs to the fantastic Madonna.
A/N: Thx everyone who's reviewed, I've come to really appreciate my reviewers and reviews coz I went to the Voyager fanfic section and there are TONZ of fanfic but people are barely reviewing. Which is really sad, so I'm thrilled to have this community of extremely nice Moulin Rouge reviewers :o)
I know the title of the story doesn't make all that much sense yet, but it will later on, I promise.
Anyway, this is chapter 5. It's a bit different, but I hope you guys like it. It's called The End, but it's NOT the end. Please don't forget to review :o) Pretty please.
Eyes Like Yours
~ by Alicia Jo Twain ~
Part 3: Ray of Light
Chapter 1: The End
"Push, Satine! Push!!" Marie yelled.
"I ca-a-a-an't!!" Satine yelled back.
She was exhausted, my poor little chickpea. It has been like this for over five hours. Satine has been lying in bed for the past 2 weeks, she'd been feeling awfully weak. No appetite, she barely ate anything, and that was only for the baby's sake. She's coughed more and more blood. We called the doctor, but there was nothing he could do. He just said to keep her calm, not to upset her. Then this morning she said she was feeling even weaker and that she was having pains. I called for the doctor, not knowing what it was about. Marie, in the meanwhile, discovered Satine's water had broken and said she was in labor.
Satine went paler than she naturally was when she heard that. I guess it was scared her to think that she had reached her destination. She often said she was only living for the baby and that she'd be gone soon after. That time had come. She said it hurt too much. She started breathing faster; Marie coached her how to push and... It's horrible. I can't bear seeing her like that. My pumpkin... It's even worse than seeing her cough blood - this is real pain!
The doctor came but he doesn't do anything, really.
I'm standing outside Satine's quarters and I can hear her screaming.
It's tearing my heart.
And there's nothing I can do.
Nothing.
N-O-T-H-I-N-G!
I feel so helpless.
So useless.
I look around - the entrance to the elephant is splendid. Like a king's palace. The curtains are made of sheer silk, the wallpaper is red velvet, and the floor is covered in red carpet. Everything looks so new. Satine knew how to take care of her things.
But what is all this to her now?
What is all this to me?
I don't care.
I never have.
I only thought I did.
What do I want silk and velvet for when my little sparrow is in such pain - I can hear her muffled screams and the doctor encouraging her - what will I need all this for when she's gone.
There, I said it, she WILL be gone.
And soon.
Too soon.
She's still too young.
This can't be happening.
But it is.
Face it Harry, courtesans die young, especially your courtesans.
It was all my fault. How could I let this happen?
"Harry!!" I heard Satine scream from inside the room.
I shook my head.
I can't go in there. Not with Satine like that.
No. I can't.
She can't see me like this.
It's all my fault.
Another voice brought me out of my thoughts.
It was Marie yelling through the closed door, "Harry, Satine needs you here."
What should I do?
"Harry..." I heard the pleading in Satine's voice.
I went in.
I saw Satine in bed, where I'd left her, but her legs were wide apart and her face was wet with sweat. Her soft wavy curls fell on her face. She kept trying to remove them from her face but they kept coming back. Satine was still screaming and Marie was telling her to push. The doctor just stood there, not doing anything. I rushed over to Satine's side and brushed all that hair away from her face.
In the middle of all the yelling and shouting, she managed to give me a smile.
That lifted me up.
I needed to be here.
Satine needed me.
And if I hadn't been there for her before, I would be now!
She tried to say something, but she couldn't get a word out before another contraction came. That's what the doctor said it was. I wouldn't really know, this is the first time I was actually there for the delivery.
I said, "Don't worry, Satine. Think of the baby. You'll tell me later."
She seemed reassured and continued to follow Marie's instructions.
I couldn't believe this took so long.
And so much pain.
No wonder men don't have to go through this.
We'd faint before the real pain ever came.
"Here comes a big one!" Satine yelled and gave this terrible holler, I thought the light bulb would break.
"Can't you DO something?" I asked the doctor.
"No. She's having a baby, this is how these things are done. Are you a first child?"
"Ummmm... Yes," not quite understanding the reason of the question, "Why?"
"This is probably how much pain your mom went through to have you. First- time mothers have it the hardest."
I imagine my mom instead of Satine going through all of this for me and ewwwwww...
No wonder she always cursed me.
She'd often tell me that she almost died at childbirth.
Then it hit me!
Satine!!!
I shut out my thoughts and tried to help Satine as best as I could.
"Don't think about the pain, Satine."
"How do you bloody expect me not to think about it?!!!" she yelled at me.
"I mean..." I stammer, I have no idea what to say.
"Think about how it will be to have your daughter in your arms."
"Oh..."
That seemed to reassure her.
It worked so I kept repeating the same thing over and over while I kept thinking, "Poor Satine."
Then Marie raised her voice, saying, "We're almost there, Satine, a couple of more pushes."
"Oh Marie, I can't!! I ca-a-a-a-an't!!!" She gave another high-pitched scream.
"How do women do this, Marie?!!! This is terrible. I... I c-a-a-a-a-a-n't."
"I can see the head, c'mon, push!!"
"Think about Christina, pumpkin. Think about Christina," I say.
As soon as I said that, Satine pushed the hardest she could and in less than a minute Marie held Christina in her arms, "it's a girl!"
As the baby's crying filled the room Satine gave a loud laugh.
But it wasn't a grown-up laugh. It was like the laugh of child when given a lollipop. It was the same laugh I'd heard from her when she fell into that muddy puddle the day I'd met her. I hadn't heard it since and it warmed my heart to think that Satine was finally feeling like she used to.
Before everything.
Before the Moulin Rouge.
Before me.
"I told you it was a girl!" Satine said as she breathed a big sigh a of relief and let herself fall back on the pillows. A smile was plastered all over her face.
"Marie... can I hold her?"
Marie put the baby in a blanket and gave her to Satine.
She held Christina with such delicacy, like she was afraid her daughter would break.
Satine looked the baby over, making sure she wasn't missing anything, and as she counted she said out loud:
"Ten fingers."
"Ten toes."
"Two eyes."
"One mouth."
The latter was quite unnecessary, but it gave Satine such pleasure that we all just stared in awe, keeping out mouths shut.
Satine looked like she'd never looked before. She had only a simple smile on her face, but her face was lit up like a Christmas tree.
Christina cried and cried but Satine patiently tried to calm her.
"You might want me to quiet her," the doctor said insensitively.
All of a sudden Satine's expression changed to a ferocious one as she held Christina like a wild animal protecting her offspring.
"Why?? Aren't all babies supposed to cry?! They're spreading their lungs, or whatever!!!"
She stared at the doctor with such intense defensiveness.
He looked astounded.
Personally I had no idea what Satine was talking about. Lungs??!
"I've been reading, doctor!"
Then she let her guard down and said, "I've longed to have Christina in my arms for 8 whole months, this is music to my ears," and she smiled.
She looked so happy.
I'd never seen her like that. Even with Christian she wasn't THAT happy.
This was more than happy.
This was bliss.
Pure bliss.
The doctor then excused himself and left.
"Harry," Satine said and immediately coughed.
"Are you OK?" I asked sitting on the side of the bed.
"I'm fine..." she coughed again.
"I want to ask you something."
"Anything you want, chickpea."
She smiled at my old nickname for her.
Of all that was her favorite one.
"You know..." she trailed off.
I knew what she was going to say, but I couldn't bring myself to say it myself. I just waited for her to continue. I am such a coward!!
"You know that I am going to die very soon."
I kept quiet. I couldn't say anything. I just nodded.
"I want you to promise me that you'll take care of Christina for me."
"You know I will, Satine."
She coughed again and I helped her hold Christina as she put her hand to her mouth. When she lowered it I noticed blood on it, but she just made a fist and ignored it. That was Satine. She wouldn't let others suffer if she could help it. But I saw it, and so did Marie.
"I mean REALLY take care of her, Harry."
Again, I knew what she meant but I kept quiet.
"I want you to raise her as your own, which means educating her. Find someone like Emma. And no courtesan business for her. When she turns 13, I want you to give her the letters I've written her... Marie..."
Marie opened the drawer of her nightstand and took out a bundle of papers. She handed them to Satine, who handed them to me.
"You are to give her these and she will be old enough to decide for herself what tol do."
"OK," I said meekly.
"No courtesan business!!!"
"No courtesan business."
"Promise me, no courtesan business. Not even one. Not even the HINT of one!"
"OK, I promise," I said.
I can't say the thought hadn't crossed my mind, but this was Satine.
My Sparkling Diamond.
I would do what she wanted, even if it meant the end of the Moulin Rouge.
Hopefully not, though.
Satine went into a coughing fit and to reassure her I repeated, "I promise, Satine, I promise."
She stopped coughing and looked at Christina with so much love in a single look that my eyes started to water.
"Marie... you'll help Harry, won't you?!" she looked at Marie.
"Oh, Satine... I'll love and look after her as my own granddaughter."
"Help her..." she started coughing again.
"Help her find..."
She went into a long coughing fit and Marie took Christina away.
Satine couldn't stop coughing, and kept trying to say something.
"Help her..."
"Yes, of course I'll help her, Satine."
"Help... her... find..."
Blood stained the white linen sheets as I stared in horror.
I couldn't do anything.
"...find..."
"Find who, Satine?"
"find... Chr-christian."
"I promise, I will, I promise, Satine."
She gave me one last weak smile and just lay there.
Not coughing.
Not blinking.
Not breathing.
Not anything.
I promise, I promise I will take care of Christina.
When I'd first met Satine she was only a rosebud.
As she stepped into the Moulin Rouge she started blooming.
Then Christian came along and she bloomed like no other rose ever had.
Then he left and bit by bit the rose withered away.
Petal by petal slowly, but surely, fell to the ground.
There was no going back.
At last the final petal had fallen.
The rose was dead.