Look Once Before Jumping

by Elizabeth Whittaker

If you're looking for action, adventure and romance with evil trying to corrupt it, look no further. This is meant to be funny, so don't yell at me if it's out of hand.

3. Chapter Two: The Scene Unfolds

Chapter Two

And the Scene Unfolds . . .

*Sabin Rene Figaro lays there in a mudpuddle, his body bruised from the fall. Slowly he opens his eyes, wondering how he ended up in a place that is not familiar to him. He sits up, gingerly checking himself for damage.*

Sabin: *groans* Ugh, how did I get here--wait! *holds his head* Ugh--I shouldn't yell. My head--what did Vincent do to send me back here? *stands* He cast some spell--one only Aerith should know . . .

*Sabin hears a horse coming and turns behind him, seeing a black stallion. He also sees a young girl riding it, no more then 16. She is a half-elf, by the appearence of pointed ears with a humanish face. Her cropped blonde hair blows wildly behind her as she knotches a yellow colored arrow on her bow.*

Girl: *suscipious* Who are you?

Sabin: I should ask that of you. *gets in a defensive position, preparing to use a Blitz attack*

Girl: You answer me! *shoots her arrow at his feet and raises the bow, it glowing orange* Now!

Sabin: Very well. *runs to her, prepared to do an Aura Bolt when he gets hit with fire that comes up form underneath the ground* Aaaah! What was that!?

*Lufia is heard, running up to the two of them.*

Lufia: *shouting* Jerin! Stop it!

Jerin: *putting another bow to her arrow* No. You don't--

Sabin: Excuse me--

Lufia: *rudely* Yes I do know Sabin! How dare you--

Sabin: EXCUSE ME!

*Both look at him*

Sabin: *points hurriedly to the sky* What is that?!

Lufia: *sees it but does not worry* Well, it's Daos, but I'm not worried about it.

Jerin: *panicked* WHAT?!

Sabin: *confused* Who--

Jerin: Never mind. Just RUN! *starts making her horse back away*

Lufia: Jerin! Get back here! *grabs her horses' reins*

Jerin: *screams* I don't wanna fight Daos! I wanna--

Sabin: Look out, he's coming! *prepares for another Blitz attack*

*Lufia yells hysterically, flailing her arms*

Lufia: He's our friend! We can trust him!

Jerin: *looks confused* What? Since when, Lufia? *rides up to her*

Lufia: Look, Daos--no--Daemon--escaped the Sinistrals and decided to help us. He can't stand them and he is my brother, after all. *winks*

Jerin: *suscipious* Really?

Sabin: *still confused* WHO?

*Both look at Sabin again*

Jerin: Oh, I forgot about you, Sab. *laughs* Whoops . . .

Sabin: Look, tell me who this person is! And where the hell am I? *starts to get angry* It all started when Locke met his fiancee. Everything changed. Locke tells Celes the wedding's off--I get sent here with--

Lufia: Do you have a problem with Locke? *pulls out her phone* 'Cause I would be happy to tell him that.

*In comes a lavender haired men with an outfit of black. Black robes cover him, the sword he holds almost buried in the sleeve of his robe. Lavender eyes pierce his sister as he lands*

Daos/Daemon: Hello, Lufia . . . *pauses* Jerin.

Lufia: Finally, you have returned home, Daemon. *embraces her brother warmly*

Daemon: *returns the hug* It's good to see you too, sister. *looks to Sabin* Who's he?

Sabin: I am Sabin Rene Figaro. *extends his hand* Pleased to meet you.

Daemon: The pleasure is mine. *takes the hand*

Jerin: I still say this is a trap. *mumbles* I mean--I'm expecting Amon and Gades to jump out from behnd us . . .

Daemon: They might, if we let them find me. *takes Lufia's hand and walks away*

Sabin: Where are you going! *frustratedly follows*

Jerin: Probably back to Arus, dummy. Where else do you think--oh. *looks at him in sudden recgonition as she rides beside him* Oh, you're in the land of Lufia, by the way. *rides off*

Sabin: *stops* I'm where?

Lufia: My world! *still walks*

Sabin: *yells* The LUFIAN world?! Oh no!

*Elly and Locke meet up at a cottage, where their friends meet them. They sit at a table and they try to begin to figure out ways to get Sabin back to their world.*

Elly: We are here to discuss how to find Sabin. Are there any ideas?

*A blue haired warrior points out his sword in his hand as he polishes it*

Ryu: Well, I would think that he would call us by now.

Ryvnn: So would I.

*An Ir'Karvness stands, her magenta/silver tail twitching. She wears a long forest green dress, which fits her tiger-like form. A rune-crested staff is held tightly in her hand as she whirls her head, strands of curly flame-colored hair flying. Magenta eyes pierce Ryu's own.*

Sassena: But Sabin's not that smart.

Vincent: Nor does he have a phone to call us on.

Locke: So how--

*Phone rings*

Locke: Damn it! *answers* WHAT?!

Lufia: *on phone* Don't yell.

Locke: Sorry. Anyway, why'd you call? *suscipious*

Elly: Who is it?

Locke: *puts Lufia on speakerphone* Go on, tell us.

Lufia: Well, I know this might sound wierd, but I know where Sabin is. Terra called to tell me.

*A voice (Sabin) screams into the phone*

Sabin: Help me! I'm with a crazy sorcereress and a half elf! Locke, old buddy! *whines* Please!

*Locke laughs*

Locke: Lufia, let me talk to Sabin.

Lufia: *reluctantly* Al--alright. Sabin!

*There is shouting over the phone and beeps*

Ryvnn: They seem to get alone quite well, don't you think?

*Ryu sighs*

Vincent: Sounds like you and Tadd, Ryvnn.

*Ryvnn punches him*

Ryvnn: Shut up!

*Sabin's voice comes up*

Sabin: Locke, are you there, buddy?

Locke: *grins* Yep.

Sabin: Dude, I know what you're going through. Can I get back home?

*Ryu speaks up*

Ryu: You might be able to. We don't know.

Ryvnn: I think so.

Vincent: *angrily* What'd Vincent do?

Sabin: *worriedly* Him and Celes are working on a way to kidnap Elly. They think that Locke should not marry her.

Elly: Wait! *writes and makes a box of Lucky Charms appear as she starts eating them* Ok.

Locke: What?! *has that cute, lil shocked expression on his face*

*Elly laughs*

Ryu: So we have a psycho on the loose.

Sabin: Why's the girl laughing? And who the hell is she?

Elly: For your--

Ryvnn: Elly Whittaker, meet Sabin Rene Figaro . . . Locke's friend.

Sabin: Pleased to meet you, Elly.

Elly: I'm going to kick the crap out of Celes if she--

Vincent: Just tell him! *rolls his eyes*

*Ryvnn once again punches him*

Ryvnn: Go with Sassena!

Sassena: *jumping to Vincent's defense* STOP!

Sabin: Goddess, it's violent on your side, Locke.

Locke: *laughs* Ryvnn and Vincent fight all the time.

Sassena: *as she's getting Ryvnn off Vincent* You're telling me!

Sabin: Anyway, Celes said she was leaving to your world this morning. I don't know what time she left, but--

Locke: Sabin, what weapons does she have?

Sabin: *confused for a minute* Wh--oh! Her Runic blade, definitely, and her katana blade . . . the fire crested one you gave her, I think.

Ryvnn: Crested?

Elly: *horrified* She means to kill me?! *hyperventilates* Locke--Locke! *sobs*

Sassena: *looks to Elly* You do this to us in your novel, Elly.

*Ryvnn comforts her*

Ryvnn: It'll be okay . . . *hugs her and leds her outside, then comes back in a minute later*

Locke: Sabin, we can get you here. I don't know about back to Figaro, though.

Sabin: Anything to get away from Lufia.

Lufia: *next to Sabin* Hey!

Sabin: *sighs* Locke, I'll protect Elly from Celes. I want you to be happy with her.

Locke: Thanks, Sabin.

Ryvnn: Locke, get Elly back in here. She needs to bring Sabin here.

Locke: *winces* She's hysterical, Ryv!

Sabin: It's okay, Locke. Go. I'll talk to someone else. *urging him when Locke begins his sentence* Now, Locke.

Locke: Fine. *leaves*

Ryvnn: Locke's stubborn.

Sabin: Who are you?

Ryvnn: Ryvanna Trinslayer, sorceress and warrioress. Everyone calls me Ryvnn, though.

Sabin: Ahh, I--

Ryvnn: Let me talk to Jerin.

Vincent: Yes, please.

*Scene starts to fade*

Ryvnn: For one, Viciome, I agree with you.

Vincent: I know. *grins*

Sabin: Hold it. Why!

*Scene fades out with Ryvnn walking outside*

*Elly and Ryvnn are outside. Elly is still crying and Ryvnn is comforting her*

Ryvnn: Well, you know, it could be worse, Elly.

Elly: *hysterical* But Ryv, I've never had--

*Locke walks up to Elly*

Locke: Elly-- *holds out his arms* Elly--come here. *looks to her*

*Elly rushes into the embrace, hugging Locke tightly*

Elly: Oh, Locke . . .

*Locke looks to Ryvnn*

Locke: I'll handle this. Go talk to Sabin.

Ryvnn: *nods* Alright. *leaves*

Locke: *strokes Elly's hair* It's okay, Elly. We're going to get through this. Celes--

Elly: *mutters* She'll kill me, Locke. She wants you! You, Locke Cole. She loves you! But--

Locke: But I love you, Elly. You. *holds her tighter* What I felt for Celes is over. It didn't work out. There's only you in my life now, Elizabeth.

Elly: *snuggles* Really?

Locke: Yes, Elly. You are my one and only--

*Sassena runs out of them*

Sassena: Locke, Elly! Come here!

Locke: What? *looks to Sassena*

*Elly looks behind the two and yells*

Elly: Locke! Come on! *runs*

Locke: Elly! *follows her*

Sassena: *pulls out staff* Damn! *sees three soldiers surrounding her* Celes must have sent them. *grins* Come on, mudsuckers! *throws herself into the fray*

*Ryu and Ryvnn are back to back, fighting off soldiers. They are surrounded and they are desperate*

Ryu: Ryv! How are you holding up?

Ryvnn: *panting* Can't do this--much--longer--

*A soldier knocks Ryvnn's sword out of her hand. She pants as he kicks her and knocks her down*

Soldier: General Celes wants Locke Cole. Have you any information on where he is?

Ryvnn: Never! *jumps up and flies tiredly above the fighting* I'll never tell you scumbags!

Soldier: Well, I guess I'll have to--

*Ryu hits him in the head, knocking him unconscious*

Ryu: *grins* Sorry I didn't do that sooner.

Ryvnn: It's okay--

*Locke and Elly run in*

Ryvnn: The calvary has arrived! *laughs and with renewed energy fights again*

Elly: Hold on! *writes furiously and within a minute Sabin, Lufia, Jerin and a green haired man appear. They look around and fight along side Elly and company*

Locke: Sabin!

Sabin: Locke! *runs to fight beside him* Finally! *does a Suplex on a soldier*

*Lufia holds out her hands and they glow purple. Jerin also holds her hands out, the color red*

Lufia: Thunder!

Jerin: Vulcan!

*The three soldiers blocking the way fall unconscious*

Lufia and Jerin: *slap each other high five* Yeah!

*Elly, meanwhile is being held by a guard tightly and kicks him*

Elly: Locke! *kicks him again* Let me go!

Locke: *sees Elly trapped* Elly!

*Someone laughs*

Voice: *commandingly* Hold your position. I wish to talk to Locke Cole.

Locke: *sees the voice and gasps* C--Celes! Why?

Celes: *grins* Because I love you.

Locke: *growls at Celes and runs to Elly* Elly! Let her go!

Lufia: You idiot! *sees him get hit and gets enraged* Sunder!

Jerin: *looks to Celes* Why try and break them up? Not to be rude or anything, but you had your chance. *knotches an arrow to her bow*

Celes: *still grinning* I love Locke. I will do anything for my sweetheart. *pulls out her Runic blade and points it at Lufia, who is standing nearby* Even kill your friends.

*Green haired dude knocks Celes' sword out of her hands. Celes is shocked.*

Celes: Who the hell--

Lufia: Take the stage, Aguro! *grins herself* I'm getting outta here! *runs to Jerin and pulls out her staff* We'll be backup for you!

Aguro: Fine. *looks to Celes* Humble lady--

Jerin: She's not humble! *enrages* Flood!

*Aguro gets hit with a floodful of water and falls*

Aguro: Gah!

Celes: *irritated* I have had enough. Who are you? *gets in a defensive position*

*Sephiroth's music comes on*

Jerin: So you want to know us? *mockingly* *lets her hair cover her eye* I am the Mistress of Love, Jerin! In the--

*Lufia pushes her*

Lufia: No, I am! *punches Jerin and flounces away*

Ryvnn: *holds her head in her hands* Oh no.

Elly: *still struggling* Let me the--

Celes: Enough!

*Everyone stops*

Celes: Now-- *points to Lufia* Who are you?

Lufia: I'm Lufia, Mistress of Death.

Aguro: *stands* And I am Aguro, Commander of Lorbenia. *picks up his sword* Now fight!

Ryvnn: *lands and taps her foot* Does it matter who we are? *bored*

Celes: *angry* Now I demand to know who you are. *points to Ryvnn*

Ryvnn: Prepare for disappointment. *pulls out her katanas and with Locke, jumps the guard that has Elly*

Elly: Thanks! *writes something down and in a few seconds, holds a frying pan full of grease* Yeah! *puts the paper and pen in her backpack and sprints to Celes*

Locke: *pulls out his dagger and puts on his Steal Glove; he mugs the two soldiers and rips open their clothes* Yeah! Go, Elly! *wraps the soldiers up in rope and looks to Ryvnn, who is dealing with three guards* Come on!

Ryvnn: *swings her katanas* Alright! *dances with the three guards and with the katanas in her hands, taunting them* You suck. *punches a guard and he falls to the ground* Okay . . . dance with me . . . *puts a katana under the soldier's chainmail and slashes him in the chest* Now for the last one-- *kicks the soldier's knees and makes him fall in pain. Ryvnn does a V sign and walks after she sheathes her katanas* Yeah!

Celes: What?! My soldiers!

Elly: Eat crow, slag! *throws the hot grease on Celes' head and hits her with the frying pan*

Locke: Yes, Elly!

Ryvnn: *horrified* Look out!

*Celes hits Elly in the head with the flat of her sword. Elly falls to the ground*

Aguro: Damn! *blocks a soldier's sword* We need to get out of here!

Lufia: Definitely! *glares at Celes, who is picking up Elly over her shoulder* I don't think so! *points a finger to Celes* Sleep! *green mist flows from her finger and drifts around Celes*

Celes: Re-- *drowsily* re--tr--re-- *falls asleep, dropping Elly as she falls to the ground*

Locke: Yeah! *cheers*

*Suddenly Kefka appears*

Kefka: Welcome to my world--Locke Cole.

*Vincent runs in, carrying Sassena*

Vincent: Ah--wha--!! *sees everyone*

Ryvnn: Come on--what is up with Locke and Elly!? *points to Kefka* And who's the clown on steriods?

Kekfa: How dare you! I am--

Ryvnn: I don't care what you are! You must be on something good to dress up like that!

Kefka: Anyway, I'm here for Elly and Locke.

Everyone but Kefka, Elly and Celes: No!

Vincent: You're popular. *looks to Locke*

*Ryvnn punches him*

Ryvnn: Ki Yate! Cono!

Kefka: *points a finger to the unconscious women and they lift up in the air* I'm sorry, but Elly is now my property. *disappears with them*

Locke: *runs to where Elly was at and sees her paper and frying pan* Elly . . .

Ryvnn: *flies over to Locke* We'll find her.

*Locke nods*

Sabin: *hugs his buddy* We're gonna find Elly, Locke.

Locke: *sighs* I know . . . but she can't get out of there, unless she has an extra pen and paper in her pocket . . . *walks off*

Ryvnn: *looks to Locke* Locke--

Sabin: Let him go. He'll think of something. Locke's good at that.

Jerin: Well, he's obsessed with Elly . . .

Lufia: He loves her. He'll think of something.

Vincent: I want to kick Vincent's ass!

*Guess who punches him once again . . . *

Ryvnn: *as she drags Vincent off* We'll find him. All of us. *flies off*

Aguro: Where's Nova?

Lufia: Ryvnn-- *disappears with Jerin*