Disclaimer: So, so.
He was looking for something, though he could not remember what. THe woods around him were dense and thick. He was terribly lost. Falling into a blanket of leaves, Tas allowed a few brief moments of sleep to steal over him.
Tas awoke, surrounded by shadows-living darkness. They swirled about, taunting him. Suddenly, the shadows stopped their wild dance. Heavy boots crunched leaves and twigs. Tas was confronted by a great looming figure within yards of him. "Caramon!" Tas exclaimed in surprise. The figure stood there-then disappeared. The darkness pressed into him-sucking the life out of him. The kender's face contorted in pain.
"CARAMON!" Tas choked. His heart pounded in his ears. His hand went limp. For a second, the darkness lifted. His breathing grew steady. His gave averted upwards. An old dwarf stood within feet of Tas. The kender stared in horror. His body gave one final convulse. "Flint."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Meridion was in turmoil. A local cave had, somehow, exploded. The force of the blow triggered numerous avalanches (and created Cavein Lake). Houses were buried in rubble and those that weren't were on the verge of toppling over. And, to the good fortune of the townspeople, the local dwarves-who were Thorbardin-had agreed to lend their hands in rebuilding the town (plus, there was enough stone for all).
Anyway, the cave was completely gone. The remaining rubble blanketed all of the surroundings. Any Meridion passerby, that paid even a hint of attention to the remains of the blown-up cave, would have noticed two small feet covered in ashes sticking out of the rubble. One at first glance might have thought that those were feet of a buried child. But any passerby spending a few moments to study the feet would have noticed that those were the feet of a kender-a kender who was a Heroe of the Lance.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Tas was alive. He knew that he shouldn't be. He could not move his body. He lolled his head to get a look at his surroundings. Tas gave a shudder. The whole cave was blocked from the outside entirely. His gaze wavered. He fell through the darkness, falling through time, falling from life into the grasp of eternal torment.
He awoke suddenly from his brief slumber. The cave shook. Rocks fell from the cavern walls. Thick dust rose from the cavern floor, into Tas's nose and mouth. Tas began to cough uncontrollably. His lungs were squashed. His heart pounded in his ears.
"Flint," Tas choked. "I'm coming to-" His voice cracked. Another coughing spasm lurched his retching body forward. His body convulsed. His teeth started clicking. He was so cold. He shivered from both fear and the cold. He knew he was going to die any moment in this wretched, god-forsaken cavern-
"THAT A FOOT!"
Tas blinked. He swore that he had heard a gully dwarf. "No," Tas coughed. "It is F-Fl-Flint c-ca-cal-ling-"
"IT A KENDER! PEOPLE BURRY KENDER! HIGHBULP! HIGHBULP!!!! KENDER GET BUREID ALIVE! PEOPLE HERE ARE CRAZY! AHHHHH AHHH AHHHH!!!!"
"It is a gully dwarf." Tas sighed. The dust had settled finally. Tas had long waited for the end. But still, it never came. "Maybe Fizban's decided that I'm not ready to-"
"SECRET MAGIC WORD!" the gully dwarf called. "THIS BIG MAGIC! SECRET MAGIC WORD-"
"BUPU!" Tas exclaimed in recognition. Tas lurched forward. Now, kender have very, very hard heads. If it wasn't so, kenders would be, if not already, brainless. Tas'ss haed crashed through the thin wall of rock. His head crashed into Bupu's hand, which was clutching a very dead rat.
A rush of fresh air came to greet Tas as he fell on top of the gully dwarf. Bupu squealed in terror as she was being squashed by the cruel, inhumane kender. "MURDER!" the crushed gully dwarf squealed. "KENDER TRY TO MURDER ME!!!! AHHH AHHH!!!!!"
Tas rolled of Bupu, who had taken a good squashing. "BUPU!" Tas cried. "Where in the Abysses did YOU come from?!!!!!" He politely shook Bupu as hard as he could. The gully dwarf keeled over dead! Dark blood oozed from Bupu's mouth. "NOO!!" cried the anguished kender. "By the gods!" he gasped. "I've committed murder! I KILLED A GULLY DWARF!" Tas yelled out, dancing an impromptu victory dance. "I'm an eeeevil kender now. EEEEVIL, EEEEEVIL!!!! MMMWWWAAAHHAHHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!"
A rather distraught old mage appeared before Tas through a shaft of light from the heavens. "What have you done Tasslehoff?!" cried an anguished Fizban. "You have sent poor old Bupu to Chemosh! NNOOOOO!!" Fizban moaned as Tas's raiment deepened into a shade of black. "YOU ARE NOW A CLERIC OF CHEMOSH!!????!" the God of Good gasped. Tas's pouches were now adorned with the symbols of Chemosh.
"I shall serve and steal in Chemosh's name!" cried Tas. "You puny, wretched, sniveling gods of good are no match for the all powerful Chemosh! HHAAAA HHAA HAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!! YOU SHALL ALL DIE!!!" Tas drew out the dagger dubbed as Rabbitslayer. He plunged the dagger into Bupu's already dead body. Blood gushed from the gully dwarf's now numerous wounds. "DIE GULLY DWARF SCUM!" Tas cried out. "IN THE NAME OF CHEMOSH!"
"It can't be!" Fizban moaned. The god's mortal form was now weeping-weeping for the kender, weeping for the world. "MY FIRST CONVERT!!!!! GILEAN'S 'GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME. NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" He threw himself onto the ground, kicking and screaming like a child.
"YOU SEE!!" Tas yelled triumphantly to the now gathering crowd. "PALIDINE IS A SNIVLI NG EXCUSE FOR A GOD!!! LAUGH IN THE NAME OF CHEMOSH!" Many spectators were now on their knees worshipping Chemosh. Laughing and pointing at the screaming Fizban, the townspeople all became Chemosh converts.
"Mmmmm." Tas mumbled. He raised his voice for the crowd. "Listen!" he cried. The black robed Chemosh clerics formed a circle around Tas-the High Cleric of Chemosh. They began chanting. Bupu's dead body rose from the ground. The gully dwarf's eyes opened. Green light flooded from the slits of her eyes.
"ME HUNGRY!!" Bupu yelled out to the crowd. "ME WANT RAT OR ME EAT ROCKS!!!!" Bupu ran up to Tas. "Me want food, me want food!"
"Let go you gully dwarf scum!!!" Tas screeched. "You slimy filthy retch!!!!!" Shaking of Bupu, Tas started his way down the town's road. "COME!!" he called. "LET US BRING THE WORSHIP OF CHEMOSH THROUGHOUT KYNN!!!"
======= ======= ======== ======== ======== ======== =======
Will Tas redeem himself? Will Fizban ever stop crying? Find out next time!!!!
He was looking for something, though he could not remember what. THe woods around him were dense and thick. He was terribly lost. Falling into a blanket of leaves, Tas allowed a few brief moments of sleep to steal over him.
Tas awoke, surrounded by shadows-living darkness. They swirled about, taunting him. Suddenly, the shadows stopped their wild dance. Heavy boots crunched leaves and twigs. Tas was confronted by a great looming figure within yards of him. "Caramon!" Tas exclaimed in surprise. The figure stood there-then disappeared. The darkness pressed into him-sucking the life out of him. The kender's face contorted in pain.
"CARAMON!" Tas choked. His heart pounded in his ears. His hand went limp. For a second, the darkness lifted. His breathing grew steady. His gave averted upwards. An old dwarf stood within feet of Tas. The kender stared in horror. His body gave one final convulse. "Flint."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Meridion was in turmoil. A local cave had, somehow, exploded. The force of the blow triggered numerous avalanches (and created Cavein Lake). Houses were buried in rubble and those that weren't were on the verge of toppling over. And, to the good fortune of the townspeople, the local dwarves-who were Thorbardin-had agreed to lend their hands in rebuilding the town (plus, there was enough stone for all).
Anyway, the cave was completely gone. The remaining rubble blanketed all of the surroundings. Any Meridion passerby, that paid even a hint of attention to the remains of the blown-up cave, would have noticed two small feet covered in ashes sticking out of the rubble. One at first glance might have thought that those were feet of a buried child. But any passerby spending a few moments to study the feet would have noticed that those were the feet of a kender-a kender who was a Heroe of the Lance.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Tas was alive. He knew that he shouldn't be. He could not move his body. He lolled his head to get a look at his surroundings. Tas gave a shudder. The whole cave was blocked from the outside entirely. His gaze wavered. He fell through the darkness, falling through time, falling from life into the grasp of eternal torment.
He awoke suddenly from his brief slumber. The cave shook. Rocks fell from the cavern walls. Thick dust rose from the cavern floor, into Tas's nose and mouth. Tas began to cough uncontrollably. His lungs were squashed. His heart pounded in his ears.
"Flint," Tas choked. "I'm coming to-" His voice cracked. Another coughing spasm lurched his retching body forward. His body convulsed. His teeth started clicking. He was so cold. He shivered from both fear and the cold. He knew he was going to die any moment in this wretched, god-forsaken cavern-
"THAT A FOOT!"
Tas blinked. He swore that he had heard a gully dwarf. "No," Tas coughed. "It is F-Fl-Flint c-ca-cal-ling-"
"IT A KENDER! PEOPLE BURRY KENDER! HIGHBULP! HIGHBULP!!!! KENDER GET BUREID ALIVE! PEOPLE HERE ARE CRAZY! AHHHHH AHHH AHHHH!!!!"
"It is a gully dwarf." Tas sighed. The dust had settled finally. Tas had long waited for the end. But still, it never came. "Maybe Fizban's decided that I'm not ready to-"
"SECRET MAGIC WORD!" the gully dwarf called. "THIS BIG MAGIC! SECRET MAGIC WORD-"
"BUPU!" Tas exclaimed in recognition. Tas lurched forward. Now, kender have very, very hard heads. If it wasn't so, kenders would be, if not already, brainless. Tas'ss haed crashed through the thin wall of rock. His head crashed into Bupu's hand, which was clutching a very dead rat.
A rush of fresh air came to greet Tas as he fell on top of the gully dwarf. Bupu squealed in terror as she was being squashed by the cruel, inhumane kender. "MURDER!" the crushed gully dwarf squealed. "KENDER TRY TO MURDER ME!!!! AHHH AHHH!!!!!"
Tas rolled of Bupu, who had taken a good squashing. "BUPU!" Tas cried. "Where in the Abysses did YOU come from?!!!!!" He politely shook Bupu as hard as he could. The gully dwarf keeled over dead! Dark blood oozed from Bupu's mouth. "NOO!!" cried the anguished kender. "By the gods!" he gasped. "I've committed murder! I KILLED A GULLY DWARF!" Tas yelled out, dancing an impromptu victory dance. "I'm an eeeevil kender now. EEEEVIL, EEEEEVIL!!!! MMMWWWAAAHHAHHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!"
A rather distraught old mage appeared before Tas through a shaft of light from the heavens. "What have you done Tasslehoff?!" cried an anguished Fizban. "You have sent poor old Bupu to Chemosh! NNOOOOO!!" Fizban moaned as Tas's raiment deepened into a shade of black. "YOU ARE NOW A CLERIC OF CHEMOSH!!????!" the God of Good gasped. Tas's pouches were now adorned with the symbols of Chemosh.
"I shall serve and steal in Chemosh's name!" cried Tas. "You puny, wretched, sniveling gods of good are no match for the all powerful Chemosh! HHAAAA HHAA HAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!! YOU SHALL ALL DIE!!!" Tas drew out the dagger dubbed as Rabbitslayer. He plunged the dagger into Bupu's already dead body. Blood gushed from the gully dwarf's now numerous wounds. "DIE GULLY DWARF SCUM!" Tas cried out. "IN THE NAME OF CHEMOSH!"
"It can't be!" Fizban moaned. The god's mortal form was now weeping-weeping for the kender, weeping for the world. "MY FIRST CONVERT!!!!! GILEAN'S 'GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME. NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" He threw himself onto the ground, kicking and screaming like a child.
"YOU SEE!!" Tas yelled triumphantly to the now gathering crowd. "PALIDINE IS A SNIVLI NG EXCUSE FOR A GOD!!! LAUGH IN THE NAME OF CHEMOSH!" Many spectators were now on their knees worshipping Chemosh. Laughing and pointing at the screaming Fizban, the townspeople all became Chemosh converts.
"Mmmmm." Tas mumbled. He raised his voice for the crowd. "Listen!" he cried. The black robed Chemosh clerics formed a circle around Tas-the High Cleric of Chemosh. They began chanting. Bupu's dead body rose from the ground. The gully dwarf's eyes opened. Green light flooded from the slits of her eyes.
"ME HUNGRY!!" Bupu yelled out to the crowd. "ME WANT RAT OR ME EAT ROCKS!!!!" Bupu ran up to Tas. "Me want food, me want food!"
"Let go you gully dwarf scum!!!" Tas screeched. "You slimy filthy retch!!!!!" Shaking of Bupu, Tas started his way down the town's road. "COME!!" he called. "LET US BRING THE WORSHIP OF CHEMOSH THROUGHOUT KYNN!!!"
======= ======= ======== ======== ======== ======== =======
Will Tas redeem himself? Will Fizban ever stop crying? Find out next time!!!!