Tasslehoff Burrfoot's life was made from many shameful events. He had
helped the gods of good by destroying a Dragon Orb and he had ridden in to
battle and so forth to try to stop the darkness. Very shameful Tas knew,
but he was making his dark redemption by serving Chemosh.
So he wandered the repulsive paths of light and took salvation in the caressing darkness. Now, he saw Kitiara's purpose. Good was for those with petty ambitions. Those like the ignoramus gnome Gnumash and the insolent bronze dragon Khirash.
He lived in the darkness. He was one of the darkness. Darkness was his salvation and nothing could deny that. It was part of the balance in the world-a balance that made up Krynn. Understanding flooded his soul as he exited the door from the lies of good into the to truth of darkness. Tas's eyes opened and blinked.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tas popped out of his trance. Grianne ceased her laughter. "By Walker," she sighed. "The sword must be broken."
"Hello." Tas muttered. He ran his lithe hand though his gray streaked hair. He breathed in the nourishing darkness. "I am Tasslehoff Burrfoot, High Cleric of Chemosh. I hope that you worship Chemosh, or else," he breathed in the richness of his speech. "Or else, I will have to kill you." Drawing out the dagger dubbed Rabbitslayer, Tasslehoff caressed the small hilt.
"Well-" the former Isle Witch began.
"STOP!!!!!!!" an anguished Tas cried. Grabbing the Sword of Shannara at his feet, Tas snatched it up. "What a nice looking sword," he mused. "Surely you wouldn't mind if take it for, uh, safe keeping." Shrugging, Tas strapped the sword to his back.
At this, Grianne was aghast. Surely, the Sword of Shannara should have at least some affect this creature. Why did it not see its wrongs? Exasperated, she lunged for the sword. "THAT'S MINE!" she said coldly.
"No," Tas said sardonically. "If it were then you would be locked up in a depression-"
"But I was," she interjected. "I was-"
"FREAK!!!" Tas cried out suddenly. "YOY'RE A FREAK OF NATURE!!!!" Pointing an accusing at Grianne's most desirable, Tas grinned evilly. "YOU HAVE DENIED THE DARKNES!!!! BY CHEMOSH, YOU WILL-" pausing so suddenly, Tas began to think of all of the most horrible things that he could do. An idea inspired by Caramon Majere popped into his head. "You will become my slave. And you shall be so in more than one way," he added quiet happily.
"WHY YOU!!!" Pulling out her mallet, Grianne regarded the kender with the lust for spilt kender blood. "I WILL SEND YOU TO MY MENTOR'S CORPSE!!! MMWWAHAHAHAHHHHAAA"
"AHHHH!!!!" Tas cried shrilly. He was about to be ruthlessly murdered by a crazed woman. And also, he wouldn't join Chemosh. Meandering his way from the path, Tas darted into the underbrush.
"COME PUPPY KID!" Grianne cried. "I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY EXTRASPECIAL MEDICINE-A MEDICINE THAT HAS CURED MANY OF MY PROBLEMS!"
Woe to the unfortunate kender for he tripped in a pond of mud. Tas cried out frantically, but it was no good. The kender was slowly, but steadily, being bogged down. "CHEMOSH!!!!" Tas cried. "HELP ME RETURN TO KRYNN WHERE I SHALL SERVE YOU FOREV-"
"HAAAAA!!!!" Mallet poised over her head, Grianne struck the kender's head as a hammer strikes a nail. Tas's body convulsed with the pain. His body lurched out of the mud.
"To the Abyss with that." Tas coughed. Mud and blood frothed on his lips. His gaze averted upward. "YOU SHALL DDDIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" Tas lunged forward with his dagger. He lost his footing and fell headlong into the mud. The Sword of Shannara fell with him, sinking into the mud. Tas's body was enveloped completely by the devouring mud. "CHEMOSH!!" he gurgled. He gripped the Sword of Shannara. "HELP ME-" Black light enveloped Tas and he was speeded down the corridors of magic.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
On Krynn, Fizban the Fabulous was the shame for all. He had started his very own petition, both in the heavens and on the mortal plane, to have Chemosh removed from godhood. He had promptly taken the matter to his brother Gilean and had the misfortune to have discovered that he was also the shame of the Gods of Krynn.
"You've had over a thousand converts to Chemosh in one day, dear brother," the normally sober god of neutrality mocked. "It is not a wonder that you have been put into shame hood. Not even your consort, Mishakal, dares acknowledge that she knows you.
This in mind, Palidine took this up with Mishakal, herself. "My dear," he had approached. Palidine chagrined at Mishakal's reaction. She had very swiftly pulled a veil over her face and scurried out of his view.
With this, he approached his ambitious sister, Takhisis. "Dear sister," he began. "I have become the shame of the world by Chemosh and company."
"What is it that you wish for, dear brother?" she asked mockingly.
"I WANT THAT STINK REMOVED FROM GODHOOD!!!!!" he had cried.
Takhisis's lip curled. He was now following her ambition. "Maybe," she mumbled to herself. "Maybe I can use his ambition to further my own." So with no seemingly visible avail, she put on a very innocent smile. "Yes," she cooed. "But isn't there a need of balance." Noticing that Takhisis had spotted him, Gilean ducked his head in shame.
"Ah, well," Palidine had said nonchalantly. "Let that Raistlin Majere boy become one. He'll be good at it, that's for sure." He chuckled to himself at his small joke.
"WHAT!!!!???" Takhisis had flared. "THAT RETCH!??!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!"
Aghast by this response, Palidine shook his head and quite by accident crashed headlong into Gilean. Ducking his head in shame, Gilean hid beneath his current volume, peeking over the edges to spy on the affairs of his elder elf-loving brother.
So to say, Palidine was shamed beyond belief. In desperation, he had taken his petition to the High God, but that proved even more shameful when the High God gave Palidine his own personal nametag that said 'I am in very deep shame'.
Fuming, Palidine attempted one last attempt-he was going to spread very embarrassing rumors of Chemosh. "MMWWAAAHAHA!!!" he sneered. "I SHALL RULE SUPREME!!!!!" And during his little motivational speech, he did not notice his brother snickering as Palidine's raiment deepened slightly to a shade of gray.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tasselhoff Burrfoot blinked. He was alive and-Tas gasped. He felt Chemosh's aura of power! He was living on Krynn once more! Wiping mud out of his eyes, Tas gave his thanks to Chemosh.
He shifted his feet. Thump! Something cold and hard struck Tas's foot, sending vibrations throughout his small, lithe body. Tas's facer contorted in the pain. Vomiting mud, Tas examined the object. Wiping his mouth on his black mud-covered robes, Tas realized that he had seen this object before. He scratched his head in deep thought. The object was so covered in mud that he could not remember-
"Ah!" the kender cleric exclaimed. "Its that sword that belonged to that mallet-woman." Sighing wistfully, Tas grinned triumphantly. "Now, your sword is mine!" Tas shuddered in delight. "I shall present this trophy to Chemosh."
Dizzly, he stood up. He was surrounde by familiar land. "Xak Tsroth," he mumbled. Something poked his back.
"Hey!" asked a stuttering voice. "You OK kender guy?"
"Gully Dwarfs," Tas sighed. Regaining his composure, Tas launched into yet another speech. "I am Tasslehoff Burrfoot, High Cleric of Chemosh. I roster holly clerical powers granted to me bty Chemosh himself. Now," he said. "Take me to Highbulp Phudge I."
"Highbulp Phudge I dead." The gully dwarf said sadly. "Him fall of cliff and fall into water. Him Bye-bye now."
"Oh," Tas mumbled. He would have relished a chance to twist another gully dwarf. "Then, who is you is your Highbulp?"
The gully dwarf eyes grew wide. "You want Highbulp Bupu?"
"WHAT???!!!!!!" Tas shouted. He picked the gully dwarf up by the coller of its grubby shirt. "How? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???!!!!!"
"Me know," the gully dwarf choked. "Highbulp Bupu come two days ago. She had very scary green light come out of eyes."
Tas tossed aside the gully dwarf like a rag-doll. The gully dwrf crumbled at Tas's feet dead. "So Bupu," he mused to himself. "You have betrayed me. I shall make you pay." He clenched his fist in rage. "Oh, how I shall make you pay."
His feet crushed the gully dwarf as he trod upon its dead corpse. "When I kill you this second time," Tas quoted from Rounce. "I shall put you in a box and toss you down a pit. Oh yes I will."
A scroll plunked on top of his head as he mused. Rubbing his topknot, Tas unrolled the scroll. The scroll itself was sloppy and lacked the proper heading. In bold letters, was penned 'Chemosh wears purple undergarments so he can attract Takhisis. Signed, A Reliable Source'. Tas ripped the scroll apart. "I resent you FB," he said coldly. "I resent all of you gods of good."
His footfalls sounded as death throughout "the Pitt" as Tas made his way to thre gully dwarf's homestead. "Bupu," he murmured. "I shall kill you-kill you again." Drawing out the dagger dubbed Rabbitslayer, Tas spat on it. He securely strapped the Sword of Shannara to his back. Making his way down the pit, Tas grinned -grinned like the skull of Chemosh. "You shall learn the penalty of treachery."
==== === ====== === ======= ====== ======= =====
(Shrug) So, Tas doesn't redeem himself from, a life as a Cleric of Chemosh. Who wants Bupu to be tossed into a box and thrown into a pit? -Galaphile
So he wandered the repulsive paths of light and took salvation in the caressing darkness. Now, he saw Kitiara's purpose. Good was for those with petty ambitions. Those like the ignoramus gnome Gnumash and the insolent bronze dragon Khirash.
He lived in the darkness. He was one of the darkness. Darkness was his salvation and nothing could deny that. It was part of the balance in the world-a balance that made up Krynn. Understanding flooded his soul as he exited the door from the lies of good into the to truth of darkness. Tas's eyes opened and blinked.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tas popped out of his trance. Grianne ceased her laughter. "By Walker," she sighed. "The sword must be broken."
"Hello." Tas muttered. He ran his lithe hand though his gray streaked hair. He breathed in the nourishing darkness. "I am Tasslehoff Burrfoot, High Cleric of Chemosh. I hope that you worship Chemosh, or else," he breathed in the richness of his speech. "Or else, I will have to kill you." Drawing out the dagger dubbed Rabbitslayer, Tasslehoff caressed the small hilt.
"Well-" the former Isle Witch began.
"STOP!!!!!!!" an anguished Tas cried. Grabbing the Sword of Shannara at his feet, Tas snatched it up. "What a nice looking sword," he mused. "Surely you wouldn't mind if take it for, uh, safe keeping." Shrugging, Tas strapped the sword to his back.
At this, Grianne was aghast. Surely, the Sword of Shannara should have at least some affect this creature. Why did it not see its wrongs? Exasperated, she lunged for the sword. "THAT'S MINE!" she said coldly.
"No," Tas said sardonically. "If it were then you would be locked up in a depression-"
"But I was," she interjected. "I was-"
"FREAK!!!" Tas cried out suddenly. "YOY'RE A FREAK OF NATURE!!!!" Pointing an accusing at Grianne's most desirable, Tas grinned evilly. "YOU HAVE DENIED THE DARKNES!!!! BY CHEMOSH, YOU WILL-" pausing so suddenly, Tas began to think of all of the most horrible things that he could do. An idea inspired by Caramon Majere popped into his head. "You will become my slave. And you shall be so in more than one way," he added quiet happily.
"WHY YOU!!!" Pulling out her mallet, Grianne regarded the kender with the lust for spilt kender blood. "I WILL SEND YOU TO MY MENTOR'S CORPSE!!! MMWWAHAHAHAHHHHAAA"
"AHHHH!!!!" Tas cried shrilly. He was about to be ruthlessly murdered by a crazed woman. And also, he wouldn't join Chemosh. Meandering his way from the path, Tas darted into the underbrush.
"COME PUPPY KID!" Grianne cried. "I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY EXTRASPECIAL MEDICINE-A MEDICINE THAT HAS CURED MANY OF MY PROBLEMS!"
Woe to the unfortunate kender for he tripped in a pond of mud. Tas cried out frantically, but it was no good. The kender was slowly, but steadily, being bogged down. "CHEMOSH!!!!" Tas cried. "HELP ME RETURN TO KRYNN WHERE I SHALL SERVE YOU FOREV-"
"HAAAAA!!!!" Mallet poised over her head, Grianne struck the kender's head as a hammer strikes a nail. Tas's body convulsed with the pain. His body lurched out of the mud.
"To the Abyss with that." Tas coughed. Mud and blood frothed on his lips. His gaze averted upward. "YOU SHALL DDDIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" Tas lunged forward with his dagger. He lost his footing and fell headlong into the mud. The Sword of Shannara fell with him, sinking into the mud. Tas's body was enveloped completely by the devouring mud. "CHEMOSH!!" he gurgled. He gripped the Sword of Shannara. "HELP ME-" Black light enveloped Tas and he was speeded down the corridors of magic.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
On Krynn, Fizban the Fabulous was the shame for all. He had started his very own petition, both in the heavens and on the mortal plane, to have Chemosh removed from godhood. He had promptly taken the matter to his brother Gilean and had the misfortune to have discovered that he was also the shame of the Gods of Krynn.
"You've had over a thousand converts to Chemosh in one day, dear brother," the normally sober god of neutrality mocked. "It is not a wonder that you have been put into shame hood. Not even your consort, Mishakal, dares acknowledge that she knows you.
This in mind, Palidine took this up with Mishakal, herself. "My dear," he had approached. Palidine chagrined at Mishakal's reaction. She had very swiftly pulled a veil over her face and scurried out of his view.
With this, he approached his ambitious sister, Takhisis. "Dear sister," he began. "I have become the shame of the world by Chemosh and company."
"What is it that you wish for, dear brother?" she asked mockingly.
"I WANT THAT STINK REMOVED FROM GODHOOD!!!!!" he had cried.
Takhisis's lip curled. He was now following her ambition. "Maybe," she mumbled to herself. "Maybe I can use his ambition to further my own." So with no seemingly visible avail, she put on a very innocent smile. "Yes," she cooed. "But isn't there a need of balance." Noticing that Takhisis had spotted him, Gilean ducked his head in shame.
"Ah, well," Palidine had said nonchalantly. "Let that Raistlin Majere boy become one. He'll be good at it, that's for sure." He chuckled to himself at his small joke.
"WHAT!!!!???" Takhisis had flared. "THAT RETCH!??!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!"
Aghast by this response, Palidine shook his head and quite by accident crashed headlong into Gilean. Ducking his head in shame, Gilean hid beneath his current volume, peeking over the edges to spy on the affairs of his elder elf-loving brother.
So to say, Palidine was shamed beyond belief. In desperation, he had taken his petition to the High God, but that proved even more shameful when the High God gave Palidine his own personal nametag that said 'I am in very deep shame'.
Fuming, Palidine attempted one last attempt-he was going to spread very embarrassing rumors of Chemosh. "MMWWAAAHAHA!!!" he sneered. "I SHALL RULE SUPREME!!!!!" And during his little motivational speech, he did not notice his brother snickering as Palidine's raiment deepened slightly to a shade of gray.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tasselhoff Burrfoot blinked. He was alive and-Tas gasped. He felt Chemosh's aura of power! He was living on Krynn once more! Wiping mud out of his eyes, Tas gave his thanks to Chemosh.
He shifted his feet. Thump! Something cold and hard struck Tas's foot, sending vibrations throughout his small, lithe body. Tas's facer contorted in the pain. Vomiting mud, Tas examined the object. Wiping his mouth on his black mud-covered robes, Tas realized that he had seen this object before. He scratched his head in deep thought. The object was so covered in mud that he could not remember-
"Ah!" the kender cleric exclaimed. "Its that sword that belonged to that mallet-woman." Sighing wistfully, Tas grinned triumphantly. "Now, your sword is mine!" Tas shuddered in delight. "I shall present this trophy to Chemosh."
Dizzly, he stood up. He was surrounde by familiar land. "Xak Tsroth," he mumbled. Something poked his back.
"Hey!" asked a stuttering voice. "You OK kender guy?"
"Gully Dwarfs," Tas sighed. Regaining his composure, Tas launched into yet another speech. "I am Tasslehoff Burrfoot, High Cleric of Chemosh. I roster holly clerical powers granted to me bty Chemosh himself. Now," he said. "Take me to Highbulp Phudge I."
"Highbulp Phudge I dead." The gully dwarf said sadly. "Him fall of cliff and fall into water. Him Bye-bye now."
"Oh," Tas mumbled. He would have relished a chance to twist another gully dwarf. "Then, who is you is your Highbulp?"
The gully dwarf eyes grew wide. "You want Highbulp Bupu?"
"WHAT???!!!!!!" Tas shouted. He picked the gully dwarf up by the coller of its grubby shirt. "How? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???!!!!!"
"Me know," the gully dwarf choked. "Highbulp Bupu come two days ago. She had very scary green light come out of eyes."
Tas tossed aside the gully dwarf like a rag-doll. The gully dwrf crumbled at Tas's feet dead. "So Bupu," he mused to himself. "You have betrayed me. I shall make you pay." He clenched his fist in rage. "Oh, how I shall make you pay."
His feet crushed the gully dwarf as he trod upon its dead corpse. "When I kill you this second time," Tas quoted from Rounce. "I shall put you in a box and toss you down a pit. Oh yes I will."
A scroll plunked on top of his head as he mused. Rubbing his topknot, Tas unrolled the scroll. The scroll itself was sloppy and lacked the proper heading. In bold letters, was penned 'Chemosh wears purple undergarments so he can attract Takhisis. Signed, A Reliable Source'. Tas ripped the scroll apart. "I resent you FB," he said coldly. "I resent all of you gods of good."
His footfalls sounded as death throughout "the Pitt" as Tas made his way to thre gully dwarf's homestead. "Bupu," he murmured. "I shall kill you-kill you again." Drawing out the dagger dubbed Rabbitslayer, Tas spat on it. He securely strapped the Sword of Shannara to his back. Making his way down the pit, Tas grinned -grinned like the skull of Chemosh. "You shall learn the penalty of treachery."
==== === ====== === ======= ====== ======= =====
(Shrug) So, Tas doesn't redeem himself from, a life as a Cleric of Chemosh. Who wants Bupu to be tossed into a box and thrown into a pit? -Galaphile