~EQUANIMITY~

by IceAngel

Part 5

In the late hours of the morning, Boromir stirred from his brief slumber. The pain in his leg had been savage enough to keep up a constant barrier against the rest he needed. It had been less than an hour since he had finally slipped into unconsciousness and if it could have been possible, he felt worse than he had the night before.

He licked his cracked lips, longing for the taste of water, and with the thought of drink came food. He had not eaten since the morning two days since. He had not wanted to put himself at a disadvantage in the dual with Faramir by filling his stomach. How trivial that fight seemed now, yet it had meant much to him. Seeing the admiration in his father's eyes was a pleasure Boromir often received, and yet each time he was just as determined to impress and show his skills. But with what cost to others? Boromir asked himself bitterly. Faramir did not blame him, and Boromir almost cringed when he remembered the looks of admiration he had received from his brother when they were both younger, and sometimes even now. No, Faramir did not blame him for defeating him in fair fights, even if the loss added another weakness to Denethor's list. But should Boromir blame himself?

He moved slightly, trying to shift his body to a more comfortable position. He was still not fully awake and he delayed opening his eyes for as long as he could. They felt dry, and Boromir thought perhaps he had been crying in his sleep without knowing it. A shudder passed through him at the thought of the Orcs seeing such a weakness.

He shifted his weight again, moving carefully so as not to jar his leg. He felt strange and forced his eyes open to see what was wrong. He stared blearily at his hands and growled when he realised they were bound together. He had counted himself lucky before, when the Orcs did not consider him strong enough to pose a threat. Poor Faramir had not been free for days. It must have been done while I was asleep, Boromir thought, the cowards! Lurbak did not realise I had enough strength to face him. Boromir was pleased that the Orc realised he was not just a boy to be pushed around, but knew as well that his action had been stupid. ~"Gather your strength, do not give the Orcs any reason to make things worse.~ Why didn't he ever listen! Faramir had warned him of this and he had rushed ahead, heedless of the consequences. Boromir could not even find the strength to blame himself, and as he often did he pushed the blame upon another. In his mind, he cursed Lurbak with all the foul words he could think of. If only he had not mentioned their mother, he would have been able to contain himself then!

For a moment Boromir wished he had stabbed the Orc while he had the chance. Soon though, he heard Faramir's voice in his mind, calling, as it had the day before, for him to stop. He blinked, Faramir's cry was not just a memory from the previous day. His brother was in pain now and calling for his help! He realised that while Faramir had fallen asleep next to him, he was now nowhere to be seen!

He sat up with a jerk, terror overcoming the aching pain in his thigh.

He peered into the light at the other end of his cave, much brighter than it had been the night before. The low torches burned with a fierce light that illuminated the group of Orcs that stood with their backs to him. Through a gap between two of the thick bodies, Boromir could only just catch a glimpse of his brother within the circle. He seemed to be standing up straight, and yet by the looks of him he should have been on the ground long ago. The Orcs shifted slightly, stamping their feet and shouting in their foul language, and Boromir realised in dismay that Faramir was being held upright, not standing as he had at first thought.

An Orc's fist slammed into Faramir's chest and he was thrown to the ground with a cry. Boromir's mind spun as the cry burned in his ears, he remembered when Faramir had been thrown against the cave wall, Boromir was sure he had broken a rib then with the impact, if so . . .

Faramir lay on the floor, doubled over trying to protect his chest. But the Orc just kicked him hard in the legs until Faramir released his hold on his knees. When the Orcs foot smashed into Faramir's mid-section, it was his brother's name he cried, and it ripped through Boromir until he forced himself into action.

Boromir had no idea how long it had been going on, but by the look of the blood upon Faramir's face and the way he was bending over his chest, he guessed it had been some time. He could not afford to wait a moment longer.

"Lurbak!" he shouted, putting as much strength as he could into the words.

The Leader of the Orc's emerged from the throng, surprisingly calm under the circumstances. He looked Boromir over with a smirk, "the sleeping baby's awake. Come to protect your little brother, have we?" Lurbak shot a meaningful glance over his shoulder to where Faramir lay within the circle. "I'm afraid you're too late." He motioned to one of the Orcs, "Bring him."

The Orc grabbed Faramir by the hair and forced him to straighten. His green eyes, seemingly darker than usual, fixed upon Boromir a look of relief and Boromir's heart soared. Faramir could see him! But a moment later he had to look away from the hopeful gaze for although more than anything, he wanted to help, there was nothing he could do.

"I'll kill you for this, Lurbak," he muttered savagely under his breath.

"What was that?" the Orc said, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Would you like to repeat that?" He signalled the Orc holding Faramir to approach, and transferring the hold on the boy to himself, he dragged Faramir closer to his brother.

Boromir could not bare the look in his brother's eyes, they reminded him too much of the haunted look his mother would take on after being disappointed by Denethor. He did his best to look away, but it became increasingly difficult when Lurbak came within an arm's length of him.

"Kill me?" Lurbak laughed, "And how would you do that?"

Boromir held up his bound hands in response, "Let me free and I'd match you in battle this minute."

For a moment Lurbak looked intrigued, Boromir knew how highly the Orc thought of himself. If he could turn this conversation in the right direction, they might have a hope.

"Why should I fight?" Lurbak growled, "there is nothing you could give me."

"You are afraid to face me," Boromir smiled, disguising a wince as the Orc pulled roughly on Faramir's hair to stop him from trying to slip out of his grip.

Lurbak laughed again, though his eyes were dark when he looked at Boromir. "You need to be taught a lesson, son of Gondor. If you weren't so valuable I'd give you to the boys to play with. Your brother enjoyed it, didn't you?" He patted Faramir's cheek and laughed when the boy's eyes became a mixture of anger and fear.

Boromir breathed in slowly, forcing himself to ignore the Orc's comments that were so obviously aimed at making him lose his temper. "You are too weak to challenge me, even my brother could defeat you, Lurbak."

Lurbak's reply was a short, harsh laugh. "Would you bet his life on that?"

Boromir swallowed uncomfortably, avoiding the look he knew Faramir to be giving him.

"If he wins," Boromir began, staring at Lurbak and daring him to accept the challenge, "you let us go."

"And When I win . . ." Lubak grinned "well, we'll see, won't we? I'll let you two talk it over." Lurbak released Faramir and he sunk immediately to the ground.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I cannot, Boromir. Please . . ." Faramir was on the point of tears. His mind was distrought he could not focus his thoughts. Boromir's eyes had not left him for a moment, and the obvious expectation in them was more pain to Faramir than the wounds to his ribs. The overwhelming relief when Boromir had saved him from the mindless pain of the Orcs' kicks and punches quickly deteriorated with the burden laid upon him. He could not even defeat Boromir in a duel, how was he expected to be able to stand up to an Orc leader.

"It may be our only chance!" Boromir erged, "Without their leader the Orcs will be weakened and we will be able to escape."

'A fair fight,' that had been Boromir's challenge. That had been how he had acquired a bandage for Faramir's chest and his own sword to be returned to him. But the words 'fair' and 'Orcs' in the same sentence was unheard of and Faramir sincerely doubted the creatures would honour the bargain. They would not let two such valuable prisoners escape them so easily.

He could not understand whether or not Boromir believed Lurbak's promise, but the suggestion that without their leader the Orcs might become less formidable was at least heartening. But that was no help for Faramir knew he could not defeat Lurbak.

"I cannot do it Boromir! I cannot!" His brother looked at him with concern and reached over to adjust the bandage around his ribs. "It's not that!" Faramir said, slapping the hand away more angrily than he meant to. "I cannot fight! I am not good enough, you know it as well as I."

Boromir shot him a worrying glance, "I am not afraid!" Faramir said, and Boromir seemed startled he had interpreted the look so accurately. "It's just, it is so dark in here," he said quietly, "I could not see them when they were around me and I just had to wait, and guess when they would chose to strike me again."

Boromir's glance grew very dark and his lips tightened into a thin line. There was such anger in his eyes that Faramir almost drew back himself. "I will not let them hurt you again, I promise. I will see every one of them killed for what they did." Faramir was more than a little frightened, he did not like this side to his brother, it was so cold and cruel. And at times Faramir worried about the future, when Boromir would have the power he so desired. He had no doubt that his brother would make a fine Steward, but there was a small doubt in the back of his mind about the way Boromir seemed to crave having power over others.

"I know you can do this," Boromir said sincerely, "or I would not have suggested it. I would gladly fight myself, if I was able. But there has always been something inside you, I have never seen the like of it before, nor will again."

Faramir smiled grimly, taking Boromir's comment as encouragement. But he could not help but think he saw something akin to sincerity in Boromir's eyes. He drew a shaky breath, "I will do it."

Boromir smiled in what must have been relief, "I believe in you."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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*SylvrGypsy* -

*TreeHugger* - Unfortunately, they don't have psychology at my school, so no, I can't be one of those *yet* He he, I'm glad you liked my Boromir thoughts and ramblings, I greatly value your opinion. I actually did not enjoy writing chap 4, but reading over it, I am quite pleased with how it came out. I am also eagily looking forward to something bad happening to Lurbak, I really should plan ahead! Thanks! :)

*SarWolf Snape* - I originally started writing about Boromir to get another pov on Faramir :) But I found him a very involving and interesting character. I'm glad I help your opinion of him. It was quite fun to try and get inside his head. Hope you weren't dissapointed with this chap, I was being mean to Faramir :( but he is the hero so *look out Orcs!* Thanks!

*Pippin-n-legolas* - Cool! cool! I'm very happy you enjoyed my fic! I hope you got my review for 'tearing in two' I had written it before I posted chap 4 so it was a nice surprise finding you had reviewed mine too! I'm interested in why read the story when it didn't have your fave characters? I'm so happy you still read it! I'm the same, I ussualy only read fics with Faramir and Legolas. I'm looking forward to checking out some of your other fics - thanks!

*GPeach20* - cool name! Yay! more people are reading this! Thanks for reveiwing! :)

*Lauren* - Yay! So happy someone else is reading this -and wow! what a complement *blush* Do you ussualy read LOTR fics from a different site? Or do you stick to other sections? Thanks so much for letting me know you were reading - and enjoying! :)

*Nuratariel* - Hello again! Sorry, not much Faramir pov in this one - but the next is all his! yay! Thankyou for the big review! it made me happy! :) I don't think it would be very realistic for Boromir not to be fond of Faramir ( he's so cute ^.^) It would be natural to be competitive but not as you put it nicely, having the "You'll never be as good as I am" vibe. I'm glad you liked what I'm doing. I wasn't sure if Boromir was a bit too nice? Hmmm . . anyway, thankyou so much! :)

*Osheen Nevoy* - Wow! amazingly long review - I found it just before I was going to post this one so I'll reply properly in the next chapter - but I will revise chap 4, I know exactly what you mean about the balance of action and thought - hope this one was a bit better! Thanks soooooooooo much! :)

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