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A gully dwarf came hopping down 'The Pitt' as a shadowed figure came creeping down the rim of the homestead. Panting down the narrow ravine, it made its way to the Highbulp's Palace, while slamming headlong into the guarded door. Smacking the snoring guard in the chest, he waved its arms and shrieked in terror. "AAAHHHHHH!!!" Lurching forward, the gully dwarf barely caught its balance.
"Watch where going gulpsludge!" the guard mumbled prodding the other with the butt of his pike. "Highbulp Bupu no like bad gully dwarf!"
"Me know!" cried the gully dwarf defensively. He panted waiting for his speech to come. "Boy, you some dumb guard!" he snorted. "Highbulp say me come if me see bad outsider!" Regaining his composure, he gave a very loud snuffle.
The gully dwarven guard's eyes grew wide. "Bad outsider here?!!?!"
"ME SAY SO!!!" the gully dwarf cried. "ME BETTER GUARD THAN YOU!! HIGHBULP BUPU MARRY ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"
The guard quickly looked around to see if anyone was listening to their conversation. Seeing no one, he picked up his pike. "Highbulp Bupu marry me!!" he cried. He lunged forward. The sharp, unsanitary point of the pike skewered the gully dwarf like cheese. It gave out a hideous shriek. Blood frothed the gully dwarf's lips as its pinched face contorted with pain. Shuddering in death, it gave one last convulse. Its body went limp, dead. "HA!" the guard snorted. "Me marry Highbulp you not! I will--"
Caught up in its ranting, the gully dwarf did not see the black robed figure that descended like a cloud of darkness. Drawing out a dagger, the figure plunged it deep into the guard's body. The murdering gully dwarf howled in pain. It swung its arms helplessly. Then its body went limp. Blood gushed from its mouth as its fingers stiffened in death. The figure smiled wistfully at the sight of the dead corpse.
"You were fit to serve Chemosh," the figure mumbled. "But, I do not seek any more converts to Chemosh's cause." Drawing aside its hood, the figure straitened its back in anger. The face was that of a child's-a child's whose face had been twisted by evil. "I shall kill you Bupu!" he hissed. With that, Tas made his way through the Highbulp's Palace. Suddenly, he was dragged down by hundreds of swarming figures. "AAAAAHHHHH!!!56!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * **
In the heavens, Palidine was hard at work. Scribbling down every possible rumor he could think of the god had called up Reorx. "Now dwarf-boy," he had sneered. "I need you to forge a mechanism that drops these every so mile. I've dropped one and Chemosh's aura is making my hand sore."
Unfortunately, the stout god was not interested. "Chemosh and I are great friends!" he had cried. "He said that we would go to Palanthas and whore away with every appealing female that we could find!! Which is why, you know," he had added with an air of dignity. "Its why I need good clothes and by my beard!!! I NEED GOOD CASH WITH MY LOVELY HEAD STAMPED ON IT!!!!"
At this, Palidine was taken aback. "You mean," he had pursued. "You mean that Chemosh is a whore?"
"BY TAKHISIS'S LOVELY FACE, YES!!!" Reorx had bellowed. "AND SO AM I!!! MMMWWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!!!" Face red with laughter, the dwarf had toppled headlong into Chislev's bath.
"HA!" Palidine said triumphantly. "If rumors won't work, I'll try whoring! That'll steal Chemy's self esteem!!!!!" Amid the shrieks of 'Perverted old dwarf', Palidine made his way toward Palanthas. Suddenly, he stopped. "Wait!" he moaned. "I don't know how to whore off! But," he added brightly. "I can always trick Chemy to summon Kitiara's spirit. "Hmmmmm. CHEMY OLD PAL!!!!!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tas blinked. Hundreds of smelly creatures prodded at him. "More gully dwarves??!!!" he gasped. Slapping away the hand of a belching gully dwarf, Tas chanted his prayers to Chemosh. A skull appeared before the cleric's lithe hands. Tas's lip curled in understanding. "COME NOW GOOD FOLK!" he cried. "BUY ONE OF THESE FANTASTIC CHEMOSH PET! WATCH THEM COME AND WATCH 'EM GROW!!! ONLY 5 PIECES OF STEEL EACH!!!"
The gully dwarfs regarded him with gaping mouths. Smiling ruefully, Tas continued. "Ch-ch-che-che-chemosh!" he chanted. "Chemosh Pet, just pour on the dead souls and watch it grow!!!"
The ruse worked! Hundreds of gully dwarfs flooded around Tas, demanding a Chemosh Pet. "Ah!" Tas breathed. He raised his voice for the crowd. "BUT FIRST," he said reverently. "FIRST YOU MUST TAKE ME TO HIGHBULP BUPU!"
The gully dwarfs fell silent. Pondering the imponderable, the male gully dwarfs cried 'NO!" while all the females squealed 'YES!' in defiance. Tas was dreadfully confused. Deciding to just give Chemosh a very big birthday present, Tas raised his hands in prayer.
"MEAN KENDER!!!" cried a shrill voice.
Concentration disturbed, Tas blinked. "Aha!" he slurred. "It's Bupu!" He drew out the dagger dubbed Rabbitslayer. "PREPARE TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF TREACHERY!!!! AAIIIIIYYYYAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
Tas lunged forward. Gully dwarves scattered at his wake. Green light flooded the room as Bupu glanced nonchalantly at Tas. "Foolish to come," Bupu murmured. "He shall regret killing me." Drawing out a remote, Bupu pressed the red button. BOOM! Tremors shook the foundation as a gigantic robotic foot of a mecha came crashing down upon the palace.
"WHAT IN THE ABYSS!!!????" Tas cried out in anguish. Bupu laughed evilly. "You see kender, when you traveled to the other plain of existence you warped me into another also!" Bupu shook her head in memory. The huge white foot planted itself onto the palace floor. "I traveled to a world of dragons-a world much like Krynn, yet more advanced technologically." A red cape flooded down upon the mecha. "I have dragon blood now, kender!" she sneered.
"BY CHEMOSH I DON'T CARE!" Tas cursed.
Bupu only smiled. "No, but you will." Walking up to the mecha, she pounced up into the opened cockpit. "ESCAFLOWNE," she cried. "YOU MAY TAKE MY BLOOD NOW!!!!" The cockpit sealed Bupu into the control chamber of the Gaian Dragon Armor. The armor convulsed, releasing steam from its joints. Then it leaped up into the air to squash Tas. "MMWWWHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"
Chemosh would be lost one cleric if it weren't for a purple mecha that planted itself in front of Tas. Tas gaped in awe. It was truly magnificent. Adorned with the markings of 'EVA 01', the mecha was the kender's savior. A plug popped out of the mecha onto the floor. "HA!" Tas cried. "I SHALL USE THIS.this.uh--"
"Evangelion!" hinted Shinji Ikari.
"Eh?" Tas asked poking his head into the plug. "Who's Shinji?"
A young boy suited up in the most wonderful suit was having a must wonderful motivational speech inside the plug. "I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I MUSTN"T RUN AWAY!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!"
But woe to Ikari-kun for Chemosh had decided that his mecha would conquer all of Krynn! Using the divine art of the gods, Chemosh sent Tas into the plug (with the suit) and into the EVA. Shingi, however, was sent back to Tokyo 3 weaponless and naked.
In the EVA, Tas was having the most wonderful time. Using the divine arts of Angel/human technology, Tas drew out a knife that resembled a very large Rabbitslayer. "FACE ME BUPU!" he cried. "YOU SHALL MEET YOUR ULTIMATE DOOM!!!"
The Guymelef and Evangelion faced each other as the pilots of each snickered. Bupu drew out Escaflowne's gigantic sword. Bupu smiled in the Guymelef's cockpit. "Kender," she cooed. "I would like to play but first. YOU MUST DIE! YYYIIAAAAA!!!!!!"
The gully dwarf lunged the sword into the Eva's head. Or at least would've if the sword hadn't ricocheted of the most wonderful energy field. "HAHAHA!" Tas laughed mockingly. "You can't touch me when I have my.uh.my-"
"A-T Field" hinted Kensuke.
Tas's brows furrowed. Whirling about to meet the geek's freckled face, Tas snickered, but then stopped. "WHO IS KENSUKE?!"
"He is me," Kensuke chorused. "LA, LA, LA, LA!!!"
"AAHHHHH!!!" Tas cried. "A STRANGERIN MY PERSONAL SPACE! AAHHHHH!!!!!" Tas flung the humming Kensuke out of Krynn and back to Tokyo 3 naked.
"I AM INVINCIBLE!!" Tas announced after much profound thought. "NOTHING CAN PENETRATE MY A-T FIELD!!!! MWAHAHAH!!!"
The Guymelef withdrew its sword. "Well," Bupu sighed. "I guess that I'll have to go to extreme measures." Tossing aside the sword, Bupu picked up a giant N^2 mine. "FEEL MY WRATH!!!" She hurtled it at EVA 01's A-T Field. A huge wave of heat threw back Escaflowne. The palace's remains exploded in a shower of sparks. Gully dwarves were crushed be debris. Those that weren't met their ends by the following nuclear blast that destroyed 1/25 of Krynn in one minute.
Tas's A-T Field sustained its strength. Tas smiled. Suddenly, the EVA lurched forward. The A-T Field flickered, than died. Another blast tossed the EVA aside like a rag doll. "AAHHHHHH!!!!!" Tas howled in pain. The next blast knocked Tas into the Sirrion Sea.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
In Palanthas, Fizban the Fabulous had made an appearance. Sneaking his way into the Lord's household, Fizban shook the sleeping Lord's wife. "Hey," he urged. "Why not hace some fun?" When the blast came, Palidine was lurched forward into the Lord's Wife.
====== ====== ====== ===== ====== ====== ===== =====
Will Tas survive in Sirrion Sea with EVA 01? Will Palidine succeed in betting a new wife? Who wants Rayearth?
-Galaphile
A gully dwarf came hopping down 'The Pitt' as a shadowed figure came creeping down the rim of the homestead. Panting down the narrow ravine, it made its way to the Highbulp's Palace, while slamming headlong into the guarded door. Smacking the snoring guard in the chest, he waved its arms and shrieked in terror. "AAAHHHHHH!!!" Lurching forward, the gully dwarf barely caught its balance.
"Watch where going gulpsludge!" the guard mumbled prodding the other with the butt of his pike. "Highbulp Bupu no like bad gully dwarf!"
"Me know!" cried the gully dwarf defensively. He panted waiting for his speech to come. "Boy, you some dumb guard!" he snorted. "Highbulp say me come if me see bad outsider!" Regaining his composure, he gave a very loud snuffle.
The gully dwarven guard's eyes grew wide. "Bad outsider here?!!?!"
"ME SAY SO!!!" the gully dwarf cried. "ME BETTER GUARD THAN YOU!! HIGHBULP BUPU MARRY ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"
The guard quickly looked around to see if anyone was listening to their conversation. Seeing no one, he picked up his pike. "Highbulp Bupu marry me!!" he cried. He lunged forward. The sharp, unsanitary point of the pike skewered the gully dwarf like cheese. It gave out a hideous shriek. Blood frothed the gully dwarf's lips as its pinched face contorted with pain. Shuddering in death, it gave one last convulse. Its body went limp, dead. "HA!" the guard snorted. "Me marry Highbulp you not! I will--"
Caught up in its ranting, the gully dwarf did not see the black robed figure that descended like a cloud of darkness. Drawing out a dagger, the figure plunged it deep into the guard's body. The murdering gully dwarf howled in pain. It swung its arms helplessly. Then its body went limp. Blood gushed from its mouth as its fingers stiffened in death. The figure smiled wistfully at the sight of the dead corpse.
"You were fit to serve Chemosh," the figure mumbled. "But, I do not seek any more converts to Chemosh's cause." Drawing aside its hood, the figure straitened its back in anger. The face was that of a child's-a child's whose face had been twisted by evil. "I shall kill you Bupu!" he hissed. With that, Tas made his way through the Highbulp's Palace. Suddenly, he was dragged down by hundreds of swarming figures. "AAAAAHHHHH!!!56!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * **
In the heavens, Palidine was hard at work. Scribbling down every possible rumor he could think of the god had called up Reorx. "Now dwarf-boy," he had sneered. "I need you to forge a mechanism that drops these every so mile. I've dropped one and Chemosh's aura is making my hand sore."
Unfortunately, the stout god was not interested. "Chemosh and I are great friends!" he had cried. "He said that we would go to Palanthas and whore away with every appealing female that we could find!! Which is why, you know," he had added with an air of dignity. "Its why I need good clothes and by my beard!!! I NEED GOOD CASH WITH MY LOVELY HEAD STAMPED ON IT!!!!"
At this, Palidine was taken aback. "You mean," he had pursued. "You mean that Chemosh is a whore?"
"BY TAKHISIS'S LOVELY FACE, YES!!!" Reorx had bellowed. "AND SO AM I!!! MMMWWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!!!" Face red with laughter, the dwarf had toppled headlong into Chislev's bath.
"HA!" Palidine said triumphantly. "If rumors won't work, I'll try whoring! That'll steal Chemy's self esteem!!!!!" Amid the shrieks of 'Perverted old dwarf', Palidine made his way toward Palanthas. Suddenly, he stopped. "Wait!" he moaned. "I don't know how to whore off! But," he added brightly. "I can always trick Chemy to summon Kitiara's spirit. "Hmmmmm. CHEMY OLD PAL!!!!!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tas blinked. Hundreds of smelly creatures prodded at him. "More gully dwarves??!!!" he gasped. Slapping away the hand of a belching gully dwarf, Tas chanted his prayers to Chemosh. A skull appeared before the cleric's lithe hands. Tas's lip curled in understanding. "COME NOW GOOD FOLK!" he cried. "BUY ONE OF THESE FANTASTIC CHEMOSH PET! WATCH THEM COME AND WATCH 'EM GROW!!! ONLY 5 PIECES OF STEEL EACH!!!"
The gully dwarfs regarded him with gaping mouths. Smiling ruefully, Tas continued. "Ch-ch-che-che-chemosh!" he chanted. "Chemosh Pet, just pour on the dead souls and watch it grow!!!"
The ruse worked! Hundreds of gully dwarfs flooded around Tas, demanding a Chemosh Pet. "Ah!" Tas breathed. He raised his voice for the crowd. "BUT FIRST," he said reverently. "FIRST YOU MUST TAKE ME TO HIGHBULP BUPU!"
The gully dwarfs fell silent. Pondering the imponderable, the male gully dwarfs cried 'NO!" while all the females squealed 'YES!' in defiance. Tas was dreadfully confused. Deciding to just give Chemosh a very big birthday present, Tas raised his hands in prayer.
"MEAN KENDER!!!" cried a shrill voice.
Concentration disturbed, Tas blinked. "Aha!" he slurred. "It's Bupu!" He drew out the dagger dubbed Rabbitslayer. "PREPARE TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF TREACHERY!!!! AAIIIIIYYYYAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
Tas lunged forward. Gully dwarves scattered at his wake. Green light flooded the room as Bupu glanced nonchalantly at Tas. "Foolish to come," Bupu murmured. "He shall regret killing me." Drawing out a remote, Bupu pressed the red button. BOOM! Tremors shook the foundation as a gigantic robotic foot of a mecha came crashing down upon the palace.
"WHAT IN THE ABYSS!!!????" Tas cried out in anguish. Bupu laughed evilly. "You see kender, when you traveled to the other plain of existence you warped me into another also!" Bupu shook her head in memory. The huge white foot planted itself onto the palace floor. "I traveled to a world of dragons-a world much like Krynn, yet more advanced technologically." A red cape flooded down upon the mecha. "I have dragon blood now, kender!" she sneered.
"BY CHEMOSH I DON'T CARE!" Tas cursed.
Bupu only smiled. "No, but you will." Walking up to the mecha, she pounced up into the opened cockpit. "ESCAFLOWNE," she cried. "YOU MAY TAKE MY BLOOD NOW!!!!" The cockpit sealed Bupu into the control chamber of the Gaian Dragon Armor. The armor convulsed, releasing steam from its joints. Then it leaped up into the air to squash Tas. "MMWWWHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"
Chemosh would be lost one cleric if it weren't for a purple mecha that planted itself in front of Tas. Tas gaped in awe. It was truly magnificent. Adorned with the markings of 'EVA 01', the mecha was the kender's savior. A plug popped out of the mecha onto the floor. "HA!" Tas cried. "I SHALL USE THIS.this.uh--"
"Evangelion!" hinted Shinji Ikari.
"Eh?" Tas asked poking his head into the plug. "Who's Shinji?"
A young boy suited up in the most wonderful suit was having a must wonderful motivational speech inside the plug. "I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I MUSTN"T RUN AWAY!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!"
But woe to Ikari-kun for Chemosh had decided that his mecha would conquer all of Krynn! Using the divine art of the gods, Chemosh sent Tas into the plug (with the suit) and into the EVA. Shingi, however, was sent back to Tokyo 3 weaponless and naked.
In the EVA, Tas was having the most wonderful time. Using the divine arts of Angel/human technology, Tas drew out a knife that resembled a very large Rabbitslayer. "FACE ME BUPU!" he cried. "YOU SHALL MEET YOUR ULTIMATE DOOM!!!"
The Guymelef and Evangelion faced each other as the pilots of each snickered. Bupu drew out Escaflowne's gigantic sword. Bupu smiled in the Guymelef's cockpit. "Kender," she cooed. "I would like to play but first. YOU MUST DIE! YYYIIAAAAA!!!!!!"
The gully dwarf lunged the sword into the Eva's head. Or at least would've if the sword hadn't ricocheted of the most wonderful energy field. "HAHAHA!" Tas laughed mockingly. "You can't touch me when I have my.uh.my-"
"A-T Field" hinted Kensuke.
Tas's brows furrowed. Whirling about to meet the geek's freckled face, Tas snickered, but then stopped. "WHO IS KENSUKE?!"
"He is me," Kensuke chorused. "LA, LA, LA, LA!!!"
"AAHHHHH!!!" Tas cried. "A STRANGERIN MY PERSONAL SPACE! AAHHHHH!!!!!" Tas flung the humming Kensuke out of Krynn and back to Tokyo 3 naked.
"I AM INVINCIBLE!!" Tas announced after much profound thought. "NOTHING CAN PENETRATE MY A-T FIELD!!!! MWAHAHAH!!!"
The Guymelef withdrew its sword. "Well," Bupu sighed. "I guess that I'll have to go to extreme measures." Tossing aside the sword, Bupu picked up a giant N^2 mine. "FEEL MY WRATH!!!" She hurtled it at EVA 01's A-T Field. A huge wave of heat threw back Escaflowne. The palace's remains exploded in a shower of sparks. Gully dwarves were crushed be debris. Those that weren't met their ends by the following nuclear blast that destroyed 1/25 of Krynn in one minute.
Tas's A-T Field sustained its strength. Tas smiled. Suddenly, the EVA lurched forward. The A-T Field flickered, than died. Another blast tossed the EVA aside like a rag doll. "AAHHHHHH!!!!!" Tas howled in pain. The next blast knocked Tas into the Sirrion Sea.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
In Palanthas, Fizban the Fabulous had made an appearance. Sneaking his way into the Lord's household, Fizban shook the sleeping Lord's wife. "Hey," he urged. "Why not hace some fun?" When the blast came, Palidine was lurched forward into the Lord's Wife.
====== ====== ====== ===== ====== ====== ===== =====
Will Tas survive in Sirrion Sea with EVA 01? Will Palidine succeed in betting a new wife? Who wants Rayearth?
-Galaphile