"Is it Season Six Yet?" by Miss Pataki
Episode One: Two Chicks and an Apartment
A/N: Hey all! I've never written Daria fan fiction, however, I often write song fics for Hey Arnold! Since this is new to me, don't expect greatness. I'd appreciate it if you reviewed me and told me what was wrong, what was right, etc. Be forewarned: I'm a HUGE Jane/Tom shipper, so there will be some of that later on, as well as some Daria/Trent shipperness. Also, I wrote this before I saw "Pierce Me", so Jasmine's obviously quite different. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Daria is owned by MTV and Viacom. Noggin has syndication rights…I think. Thanks to Ms. Eichler for creating such a great show!
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Daria
In
"Two Chicks and an Apartment"
SCENE ONE
EXT: The Morgendorffer house on a bright, sunny, late summer day.
(The SUV is parked outside and we can hear Helen talking on the phone, presumably to Eric.)
Helen: (VO) Eric, I'm a lawyer, not a babysitter.
INT: Living room.
(Helen is pacing behind the couch. Jake sits on the couch reading the business section of the paper. Daria is seated in the right chair looking through the arts section.)
Helen: Look, I have a lot on my plate at the moment. Jake and I have to make sure Daria's packed and ready so we can ship her off to Raft.
(Jake looks up from his paper and gives Helen his puppy dog look.)
Jake: Dammit, Helen! I hate moving heavy boxes!
Daria: Well, there goes your lifelong dream of being a repo man.
Helen: Hold on, Eric.
(She covers the phone with her hand.)
Helen: (to Jake) Then why don't you hire someone?
Jake: (whiny) But those guys are so lazy!
Daria: Plus, they all shop at the same place.
(In the background, Quinn comes down the stairs.)
Jake: Where's that?
Daria: The Gap.
Quinn: (approaching them) Ew! That sorry excuse for a store! Everything there is soooooo outdated. I mean, cargo pants?
(She shudders.)
Helen: (into the phone) I don't care if you need someone to show your niece around Lawndale. I'm tied up and that's that.
(A beat. Her eyes light up. Eric's obviously mentioned a raise.)
Helen: Well, what I meant to say was I, myself, am tied up but I know someone who can.
(She places her hand over the phone again.)
Helen: Daria, I need a favor.
(Daria pulls back her sleeve and looks at her bare wrist.)
Daria: Gee, would you look at the time. I'm late for a manicure at Nail It Down.
Quinn: Finally! I mean, no offense, Daria, but lately your nails have been screaming 'boring.'
Daria: Huh. I thought it was…oh, ever since I can remember.
(Helen sighs and turns to Quinn.)
Helen: Say, Quinn? What would you really, really like?
(Quinn looks thoughtful for a moment.)
Quinn: Hm…Heath Ledger? He was really hot in that one movie about that one guy.
Helen: How about a new backpack?
Quinn: Mother, everyone knows a backpack is only as good as the clothing it accents.
Helen: And a new tee shirt?
Quinn: Okay!
Helen: Great. (Into the phone) Eric, my younger daughter, Quinn, would be delighted to show Jasmine around.
(A beat.)
Helen: No, not the one who told you lawyers were as crooked as the branches of government…Okay. Lawndale Mall at one? In front of Junior 5? Great! Bye.
(She hangs up the phone.)
Helen: Now, Quinn, your father will give you a ride down to the mall later.
Jake: Can I take the SUV?
Helen: Sure.
(The camera focuses on Jake as he drums his fingers together ala Mr. Burns in the Simpsons.)
Jake: (Menacingly) Finally! A position of power for old Jakey! Today, the SUV. Tomorrow, the world!
(He cackles hysterically as red flames appear around him. He stops after a few moments. The flames disappear when he notices everyone staring at him. He cowers a bit and goes back to reading the paper.)
Helen: Whatever. Daria, I'll help you pack for a while, but I've got an important meeting soon, so you'll be on your own for most of the time. Is that okay?
Daria: Actually, I already packed.
Helen: (disbelieving) Everything?
Daria: Well, there's still the matter of that margarita mix and 12-calibur shotgun.
(Helen rolls her eyes as Daria gets up and heads for the door.)
Helen: So what do you plan on doing?
Daria: That's for me to know and the president to guard with his life.
(She opens the door and exits.)
Jake: Wow.
(Helen just rolls her eyes.)
SCENE TWO
EXT: Casa Lane.
(Daria stands at the door and rings the bell. Within a few moments, Jane answers.)
Jane: Hey there, Morgendorffer.
(Daria places her hands on her hips.)
Daria: You said you'd stop calling me that.
Jane: Okay, okay.
(She raises her left hand and places her right hand over her heart.)
Jane: I, Jane Lane, from this moment do solemnly swear to discontinue calling Daria 'Morgendorffer'…
(Daria smirks.)
Jane: Except on Tuesdays and bank holidays.
Daria: (crossing her arms) Hey.
Jane: I kid, I kid. Fine, only when Quinn's friends are around.
Daria: That's better. Anyway, I came over to ask if you wanted to go out for pizza. It'll probably be our last for a while.
(Jane rubs the back of her neck, obviously uncomfortable and with something on her mind.)
Jane: Uh…sure. (Grinning) But only if you buy.
Daria: Of course. I'm not THAT cheap.
Jane: Good. 'Cos I want double layer stuffed crust with all the trimmings.
Daria: (smirking) Damn you.
SCENE THREE
EXT: Pizza King.
(A sign taped lopsided to the window reads "Mystik Spiral at the Glamour Club.")
INT: Pizza King.
(Daria and Jane are seated in their usual booth, finishing off half the afore mentioned pizza as Avril Lavigne's "Sk8er Boi" plays. Daria sips her soda as Jane finishes a slice.)
Jane: Best sixteen dollars I never spent.
Daria: Yeah. The impeccable taste makes you temporarily forget the vast quantities of burning grease destroying your digestive system.
Jane: You always manage to see the lighter side of life, don't you, Daria?
Daria: There's a lighter side?
(A beat. Jane helps herself to another slice of pizza.)
Daria: (Honest) It's hard to believe I'll be in Boston in a few days.
Jane: It feels like we were sprawled out on the couch watching "When Plastic Surgery Fails" just yesterday.
Daria: That was just yesterday. (A bt.) You'll come visit me at Raft before your term starts up, right?
Jane: Actually…I was thinking of coming up for the fall.
Daria: But I thought you applied too late.
Jane: I wouldn't be going to class, just painting.
Daria: What's the difference?
Jane: (rolls her eyes) Believe it or not, I do have some good reasons for wanting to come up.
Daria: (raising an eyebrow) Such as?
Jane: Let's face it. My home life's not great. Mom and Dad are always off somewhere doing their thing. Trent's band is making me go deaf. I need a nice, quiet place to work on my art.
Daria: Maybe you should try living at my house. The only noise there is Quinn always on the phone.
(She folds down three fingers and puts her hand to her ear like she's talking on the phone.)
Daria: (imitating Quinn) Omigawd! Did you hear about that sale at Cashman's? Does purple eyeliner go with black mascara? Do you think Chad likes me?
Jane: That sounds worse than my situation. Anyway, the major reason I want to come up to Boston is that I may have finally found a way to get myself known without copying Van Gough. I posted some of my work up on the graveyard of "Jane Cam" and this gallery owner e-mailed me. He wants me to send him my paintings so he can sell them in his shop. It's pretty pricey to send big canvases over there, so I figured that since I'm heading there anyway, I may as well go now.
Daria: Wow. That's great. But where are you gonna stay? Do you have any relatives there?
Jane: (sipping on her orange soda) Nope.
Daria: Friends?
Jane: Yep. You.
Daria: Uh…Jane? It's a small dorm.
Jane: Well…
Daria: (interrupting her) I guess you could sleep in my room.
(Jane shudders.)
Jane: Oooh…don't ever say that again. Flashbacks of Alison.
Daria: Sorry. But what then? It's not like they let students' friends sleep in the hallways. That would be a traffic violation.
Jane: Are you familiar with the word 'apartment?'
Daria: A-P-A-R-T-M-E-N-T. A large, luxurious one story "room" the Friends live, congregate and have sexual exploits in… (A bt.) It might work. Raft doesn't require you to live in a dorm. But Mom'll need some convincing to let the cash flow.
Jane: Just tell her it'll improve your social life.
Daria: God, I'm not Quinn.
Jane: Where is the little fashionista anyway?
SCENE FOUR
INT: Lawndale Mall.
(Quinn walks through the mall, followed closely by Sandi, Tiffany and Stacy as 3LW's "I Do (Wanna Get Close to You)" plays.)
Sandi: So tell me again what exactly we're doing?
Quinn: Showing some new girl what's what and where to shop. You know, the basics.
Sandi: And why? Honestly, Quinn: what's in it for us?
Tiffany: Yeah.
Stacy: I mean, what if she's a complete-
(She gulps and speaks in a low voice.)
Stacy: (con'd) geek.
Tiffany: Ew. Don't use that word.
Stacy: Sorry.
Quinn: Well, normally I wouldn't stoop so low and jeopardize my social ranking, but Mom offered me a new backpack. I'm thinking of getting that new silver Kamsport.
(Sandi, Tiffany and Stacy stop right in their tracks. Quinn walks on for a moment and then whirls around, confused.)
Quinn: What?
Stacy: Isn't that expensive?
Quinn: Stacy, a couple hundred bucks won't hurt. After all, a backpack is a fashion investment.
(A beat.)
Quinn: But judging from your reaction, maybe I should get something else.
Sandi: (rushed) No! It's just that…that was the very same backpack I'm getting.
Tiffany: Me too.
Stacy: Oh God. I need one too!
(They continue walking and after a few moments, reach Junior 5.)
Quinn: Hm…we're supposed to meet Jasmine here, but that can't be her.
(She points to a girl standing in front of the store. The girl has auburn hair up in pigtails and freckles. She's dressed in a purple long-sleeve top and green pants. She wears thick-rimmed glasses.)
Girl: (facing them) Are you Quinn?
(They all gasp, horrified.)
Stacy: Ew! She is a geek!
Tiffany: Stacy!
SCENE FIVE
(The camera is focused on the TV screen.)
SSW Announcer: Does eating garbage give you superhuman strength?
(On screen, a bum in ragged clothing lifts a screaming man in a suit up into the air and throws him into traffic. Cars screech to a halt. The screen changes to the "Sick, Sad World" logo.)
SSW Announcer: It's Superhobo, next on "Sick, Sad World"!
INT: Lane living room.
(Jane and Daria are seated on the couch. Jane is typing on a laptop.)
Jane: Hm…suspiciously nice New York apartment, one room Jersey studio…Aha! Boston apartment!
Daria: Click it.
Jane: (raising an eyebrow) Click it?
Daria: You know, move that rolly-thing until the little white arrow is hovering over the link and then press down.
Jane: No kidding. I'm gonna have to try that.
(Trent walks into the room, rubbing his head.)
Trent: Hey Jane. Hey Daria.
Daria: Hey Trent.
Jane: Trent, it's only five pm. What are you doing up?
Trent: Five pm? I thought it was five in the morning.
Daria: Nope.
Trent: Whoa. I'm up early. I'm going back to bed.
Jane: (typing) Have fun.
(Trent just kind of waves sleepily and exits.)
Jane: Another informative conversation with Trent Lane.
Daria: So is this apartment within our price range or Bill Gates'?
Jane: (eyes focused on the screen) Ours.
Daria: Really?
Jane: You bet your life. It's a virtual Boston apartment.
Daria: What?
Jane: It's some kind of online game.
(Camera focuses on the computer screen. A girl with blonde hair stands in the middle of a spacious pixilated apartment. Up in the left corner is the screen name "Plain_Jane_Lane18'. A CGI man with red hair enters.)
Jane: Oh, look. It's our womanizing next door neighbor.
Daria: You've got to be kidding me.
(Switches back to computer screen. A word bubble pops up above the man's head saying, "What's a vision of loveliness like you, Lane, doing in a bachelorette's Boston apartment?" Jane glances up at the guy's screen name.)
Jane: (disbelieving) 'Ruttheimer_69'!? Dear God.
Daria: Who would have guessed that Upchuck knew how to operate a computer?
(Jane begins furiously typing something in. Daria's eyes go wide when she sees.)
Daria: So much for the flashing "No Swearing" banner.
Jane: I'm sure it's not profane on the planet he comes from.
Daria: It's probably a turn-on.
(Both shudder at the thought. Another word bubble pops up, this one reading, "Feisty.")
Jane: I vote that we 'turn off' the computer.
Daria: No recount suggested.
(She yanks the cord out of the computer and the screen goes black.)
Jane: Phew.
Daria: I think I've been scarred for three lifetimes.
Jane: You can say that again.
Daria: So just how do you expect to pay for this apartment?
Jane: Well, believe it or not, but Mom actually managed to start a few accounts for me besides my college funds. There's enough for a few months and the gallery gig should bring in some cash, but I'll probably get a job too, if only to fill in the vast bouts of boredom.
Daria: Sounds like a plan.
Jane: (bored) Yep…
(They just sit there for a moment, bored to death.)
Daria: Do you think the internet's safe yet?
Jane: No, but we'll push Upchuck out, dammit!
(She flips the switch on the computer and watches it load. She drums her fingers on it, waiting. Daria gets an annoyed look on her face as the drumming continues for a few moments.)
Daria: Jane.
Jane: Sorry. (Cynical) I know how much you hate tedium.
Daria: Or as the Pope would say, idle hands are the devil's playthings.
Jane: Who came up with that sorry excuse for advice?
Daria: Probably the same person who doesn't think Britney Spears videos are a form of cruel, slow torture.
Jane: Here we go! Now, where should we look?
Daria: Um.
Jane: Remember, we have the whole internet. Right here. At this moment.
Daria: Why don't you check some of the classifieds in Boston newspapers?
Jane: Where do you come up with such propositions?
Daria: It's elementary, dear Lane. Newspapers are really just advertisements you pay for. Thus, somewhere in them, there must be apartments for sale.
Jane: A brilliant deduction, Sherlock. (Typing) Okay, classifieds for the Boston Star. I was thinking a two room apartment with a kitchen and a bathroom.
Daria: No kidding.
Jane: Uh…what is our price range?
Daria: No idea.
Jane: Well, it might help if we figure that out.
Daria: Good point. Should I call my mom and find out if it's even okay?
Jane: I must have forgotten that part. Yeah, go ahead. Phone's in the kitchen.
SCENE SIX
INT: Helen's office.
(Helen's sitting at her desk, a bored look on her face. Marianne's off somewhere and for once, her phone isn't ringing. She sighs.)
Helen: Saturday afternoon and nothing to do…
(The phone rings.)
Helen: Finally! (She answers it.) Hello, Helen Morgendorffer.
(The screen splits so we can see both Helen in her office and Daria in the Lane's kitchen.)
Daria: Um, hi, Mom.
Helen: (confused) Daria? Is something wrong?
Daria: No, I just need to talk to you about something.
Helen: It's not Tom, is it? Listen, honey, sometimes it's better if you just end things instead of drawing them out.
Daria: It's not about a guy. I was…I was wondering if maybe the whole dorm thing could be negotiated.
Helen: I'm not following you.
(Daria sighs.)
Daria: Well, Jane needs to move to Boston before her term starts up and she doesn't have anywhere to stay. She suggested that we get an apartment together. Uh…what do you think?
Helen: Just how are you going to pay for this apartment?
Daria: Jane has some money saved up for a few months and so do I. She's getting money from selling her pictures in a gallery over there. But she said she plans on getting another job. And…I guess I probably will too.
Helen: It certainly sounds like the two of you have everything planned out. I'll have to talk to your father, but it's alright with me.
Daria: (disbelieving) Excuse me, but did you just say 'yes?'
Helen: I did.
Daria: Wow. Maybe work is good for you.
(Helen smirks.)
Helen: Actually, I'm bored out of my wits, something that doesn't happen often. I guess idleness puts me in a good mood.
Daria: Well, um…thanks, Mom.
Helen: You're welcome. (A bt.) Daria?
Daria: Yeah?
Helen: Do you and Jane want to go out for dinner? My treat.
Daria: Actually, we just had pizza a while ago.
Helen: Oh. Well, do you want to come to my office to look for potential apartments?
Daria: We have the Internet here, Mom. But thanks.
(She hangs up. The screen goes back to just Helen.)
Helen: (into the phone) How about a movie?
(She frowns and puts the phone back on the hook.)
Helen: There must be something I can do for her…
SCENE SEVEN
INT: Lane living room.
(Daria re-enters.)
Daria: Well, for some weird reason, Mom said it was okay.
Jane: Are you sure it wasn't an alien pod person spitting nickels who just sounded like her?
Daria: That's a definite yes.
Jane: Well, it's official. Jane and Daria are going to Boston.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
SCREEN: The fashion club gasps, horrified at Jasmine as 3LW's "I Do" plays.
"Next week on an all-new Daria, brought to you by Miss Pataki...Daria tries to adjust to life at Raft College while Quinn wonders what to do in place of the Fashion Club. Quinn Morgendorffer…thespian?"
SCENE: A stuffy looking classroom.
(Daria stands up, looking embarrassed for once, among all the other students.)
Female teacher: Miss Morgendorffer, perhaps you'd like to teach the class?
(Cuts to Quinn standing in front of some woodsy painted scenery. She's reading from a piece of paper.)
Quinn: What's in a name? That by which we call a rose would smell as sweet.
MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE: You know the one. That infectious song, "Days Go By" by Dirty Vegas plays while the girl has her own mini-rave. I dunno why but I love this commercial.
CORN POPS: Forgive me, but I think it's really cute. It's a lot better than those stupid Pop Tarts commercials.
CAPRI SUN, "DRAGONFRUIT": Because if it was normal, they wouldn't want it. That's what my mom's Family Circle says. Anyway, it really intrigues me.
NOW, BACK TO DARIA
SCENE EIGHT
INT: Lawndale Mall food court.
(The ex-Fashion Club members, minus Quinn, are sitting on one side of the table. Quinn and Jasmine are seated on the other side. Stacy's got a smoothie and Jasmine's eating some fries. Everyone but Quinn looks horrified.)
Sandi: You're actually eating that?
Jasmine: Yeah. Do you want some?
Sandi: No! I mean, no thanks. I had a salad a few hours ago.
Jasmine: Suit yourself.
Tiffany: Fries are like…ew.
Stacy: I know!
Quinn: (chuckling nervously) You guys are so funny. (Turning to Jasmine) So, Jasmine, was there any specific place you wanted to go?
Jasmine: Not really. I figured you could show me what stores are in, which ones aren't. Y'know, the basics.
(Sandi shoots Quinn a look.)
Quinn: Um, sure…
Sandi: Quinn, if you don't mind, I have an idea.
Quinn: Uh…go ahead.
Sandi: No offense, Jasmine, but you could really use a make-over.
(Jasmine's eyes light up.)
Jasmine: A make-over?
Sandi: Hair, clothes, make-up. The works. If you want to fit in at Lawndale, you'll have to dress like you're popular. Otherwise, you could end up like Quinn's sis-
Quinn: Cousin. My cousin, Daria.
Sandi: I don't think I need to go into how many fashion rules she broke.
Tiffany: She broke, like, all of them.
Stacy: She even violated the eyelash rule!
Jasmine: Gosh, I wouldn't want to be like that.
Sandi: Exactly. Which is why we're here to help you.
Jasmine: Wow. Thanks, you guys. I didn't think I'd make any friends on my first day in Lawndale!
Sandi: Right. Friends…
Stacy: Hey, maybe after the makeover, you could join the fashion club! (Clamps a hand over her mouth) Oops!
Tiffany: Stacy!
Sandi: Pay no attention to Stacy. She's not good at comprepension.
Quinn: I think it's comprehension, Sandi.
Sandi: Quinn, I think I know a little about volcabulary.
Quinn: (grumbling) I'll say you know a little…
Sandi: Did you say something, Quinn?
Quinn: Me? No.
Sandi: That's what I thought. Now, Tiffany, where do you suggest we go first: Cashman's or Junior 5?
Tiffany: Let's go to Cashman's.
Stacy: I heard they've got super low-riders for only nineteen-ninety five!
Sandi: Well, Stacy, if they're selling for that low, maybe we shouldn't endanger our status by buying…sale items.
Stacy: You're right. I have so much to learn.
Quinn: Cashman's probably a better bet, Sandi. Everyone knows they get in the newest Waif styles before Junior 5.
Sandi: Good point, Quinn. Cashman's it is.
Jasmine: Oh boy! I'm going to Cashman's with cool girls!
Sandi: (condescending, waving her pointer finger in the air) Ah, ah, ah. Not cool. Popular.
Jasmine: Popular. Got it. What did you say your name was?
Sandi: I happen to be Sandi Griffin, president of the now defunct Fashion Club of Lawndale High.
Jasmine: Wow. You must be the most popular girl in school!
Sandi: (shooting Quinn a death glare) Yes, you would think so.
Stacy: (jumping in) And I'm Stacy Rowe!
Jasmine: Hi Stacy! That is such a cute jacket!
Stacy: Really? I got it at Charlotte Russe.
Jasmine: Who's Charlotte Russe?
(Stacy looks mortified.)
Stacy: (turning around) I think I'm gonna be sick…
(She puts a hand over her mouth and runs toward the bathroom.)
Tiffany: Stacy…wait.
Jasmine: You're Tiffany, right?
Tiffany: Um, yeah.
Jasmine: Cool. That is such a great name! Isn't Tiffany the name of that one chick in that one old movie?
Tiffany: Uh…
Sandi: We really should get going. That sale's not going to last all day.
Quinn: What about Stacy?
Sandi: Oh, you can wait for her to finish puking, Quinn. We'll meet you at Cashman's.
Quinn: Um…okay.
(She watches the three girls head off towards Cashman's.)
Quinn: (muttering) Stupid Sandi…
(Camera zooms over to a close-up on Sandi's face. As though she's heard, she frowns. Camera changes back to Quinn, who's tapping her foot on the floor, waiting for Stacy. Stacy finally comes out of the bathroom, looking a bit green but otherwise better.)
Quinn: Feel better, Stacy?
Stacy: Yeah. Thanks for asking.
(She glances around and realizes everyone else has gone.)
Stacy: (freaked out) Oh God. Where are they?
Quinn: Relax, Stacy. They just went to Cashman's.
Stacy: And they left us here? We're being shut out!
Quinn: No, we're not. Just calm down. Want another smoothie?
Stacy: Well, okay. But only the one with the metabolizer powder in it.
SCENE NINE
EXT: Smooth Burn
(Quinn and Stacy walk away from the smoothie restaurant, each carrying a treat.)
Stacy: We should probably go find them now, don't you think?
Quinn: (sipping her smoothie) What's the rush? Sandi'll just decide everything as usual.
Stacy: (quietly) Yeah.
Quinn: She really irritates me sometimes. I mean, yeah, I wasn't really looking forward to helping Jasmine, but still. She's my responsibility and Sandi's taking all the credit. (Angry) She always does that. I do something and just who gets the glory? Sandi!
Stacy: But Quinn…
Quinn: Yeah?
Stacy: Didn't you invite her to come help you out?
(Quinn is silent.)
SCENE TEN
INT: Jane's room
(Jane is at her easel, painting as always, while Daria sits on the bed typing on the computer. New Found Glory's "The Story So Far" plays.)
Daria: Okay. So we have it narrowed down to a few places.
Jane: Yep.
Daria: And miraculously, they're within our price range.
Jane: There is a god.
Daria: Don't get your hopes up. Now, we just need to call the places up and explain that we're respectable eighteen-year-olds without jobs who want to rent a place we've never seen.
Jane: You catch on fast, Daria.
Daria: The more I think about this, the less sense it makes.
Jane: Now you're thinking like a Lane.
Daria: You mean thinking like a Lane makes you not want to think?
Jane: Exactly. Look at Trent.
Daria: Point taken.
Jane: So, how about while you call the first place, I put the finishing touches on my first painting to be sold?
Daria: You're mom doesn't mind if we rack up the long distance bill, right?
Jane: Amanda? She wouldn't mind if the room fell down around us. Actually, I have a feeling she'd find it "enlightening."
Daria: If you say so.
(She dials the first number.)
SCENE ELEVEN
INT: A neat, very white office.
(The desk is made of dark Mahogany and the woman sitting at it wears a clean, pressed blue suit. She has short brown hair and looks like she's in her mid-thirties. She picks up the ringing phone.)
Woman: Hello, Sheltered Shrubs Apartments. Lydia Maguire speaking.
(The screen splits again so we can see both Lydia and Daria.)
Daria: Uh, hi. I'm Daria Morgendorffer, calling on behalf of myself and Jane Lane.
Lydia: What can I do for you, Ms. Morgendorffer?
Daria: Well, I start this fall at Raft College and Jane starts later in the year at Boston Fine Arts College and we need somewhere to stay. I saw your ad in the Boston Star and I wanted to inquire about the two-bedroom, one bath unit.
Lydia: College students? What year?
Daria: We'll both be freshmen.
Lydia: (scoffing) And you expect me to just hand over an apartment to you? I'm sorry, kid, but that is not the kind of conduct you will find at Sheltered Shrubs.
Daria: Just because we're a little young doesn't mean we're irresponsible. Jane happens to have a contract with a gallery owner who wants to sell her paintings. It won't be long before she's an accomplished artist.
Lydia: More likely a starving artist.
Daria: (Mad) Hey! You have no right to treat us like this. You don't even know us.
Lydia: Maybe you should opt for a dorm instead, Daria. An ignorant student like yourself isn't up for the challenge of maintaining an apartment.
Daria: Yeah? Well, maybe you should opt for pulling that stick out of your ass instead of treating potential tenants like crap!
(She slams down the phone and the screen reverts to Jane's room.)
Daria: Some people are so stubborn.
Jane: Well, I'm sure your prim and proper speech made her warm up to you even more.
Daria: I know I can go a little overboard, but she deserved it.
Jane: Why don't you try the next one? At least that way you can get it off your mind.
Daria: I never thought I'd say this, but…good idea.
Jane: Yeah. I'm good for those sometimes.
(Daria dials the next number.)
SCENE TWELVE
INT: The complete opposite of the first office.
(The desk is covered in stained pieces of paper. The walls are gray, having been stripped of their even duller wallpaper. A few half-full cups of coffee litter the desk. Loud heavy rock music plays in the background. A man who looks like he could be Axl's twin [complete with British accent] answers the phone.)
Man: Yeah, this is Zak. Whadda ya want?
(Split-screen again.)
Daria: My name's Daria Morgendorffer and my friend and I are looking for an apartment.
Zak: So why are you calling me?
Daria: We saw your ad for a two bedroom studio in the Boston Star.
Zak: What's it doing there?
Daria: Um…
Zak: God, no one in this whole bloody country can leave me alone. First, Simone screams at me for screwing with her best friend. Next, you call me demanding an apartment I don't have and now, I find out that there's an ad for the apartment in the paper.
Daria: So there's no apartment?
Zak: Where'd you get that idea?
Daria: You just-
Zak: I just what? Tell me.
Daria: I think I have the wrong number.
Zak: This is Alicia, ain't it? Look, I had fun at Nancy's party, but that was a one time banging job.
Daria: I really have to go.
Zak: Alicia, don't hang up on me!
Daria: My name is not Alicia. Do I sound like someone you'd be having sex with at a party?
Zak: Wait…you're Georgia, aren't you?
Daria: My name is not Simone, Alicia, Nancy or Georgia. My name is Daria. Dar-E-uh. Get it? I'm just trying to find a freakin' apartment.
Zak: Whoa. Sorry, Danielle. Didn't mean to get you pissed. Hey, are we still on for Saturday?
(Daria rolls her eyes and hangs up.)
Zak: Danielle? You there? Oh, c'mon, baby…
(Cut back to Jane's room.)
Jane: No luck?
Daria: Do you ever have any when you talk to a guy who's slept with half the female population, really?
Jane: Hm. Maybe you're just not good at this talking to people thing.
Daria: You think?
Jane: Remember, I'm a Lane. I don't think. Thinking hurts.
Daria: Are you sure you're not a Taylor?
(Jane grabs a lock of hair and twirls it on her finger.)
Jane: (Imitating Brittany) Hi Daria! Are you having fun thinking about dead people and stuff? Oh, Kevie, being a quarterback makes your muscles all big!
Daria: Now, that was scary.
Jane: Not nearly as scary as being conventional.
Daria: I pray I'll never have to do that.
Jane: You better.
Daria: You know, maybe you'd be better at the whole calling thing than me.
Jane: You're probably right. It takes an outgoing, optimistic person like myself to get an apartment in this world.
Daria: Just keep telling yourself that.
Jane: (rolls her eyes) Just gimme the phone.
SCENE THIRTEEN
MONTAGE to the A*Teens' "Can't Help Falling In Love" (You know, the annoying song from Lilo and Stitch).
(Stacy and Tiffany run up and down the racks at Cashman's, plucking off skirts, tops, pants and dresses. They hand them all the Sandi who passes them to Jasmine, who reaches over the dressing room door for them. Quinn sits by the dressing room, frowning.)
(First, Jasmine tries on a blue button-up short sleeved top with a short khaki skirt. Sandi shakes her head. It's too long. Next is a pink top with blue hip huggers. Quinn pouts a little at it and Stacy's lower lip trembles. She wants the outfit. Third, Jasmine tries on a green Honeymoon halter-style dress with pink hibiscus on it. Everyone nods their approval.)
(Next up is shoes. Jasmine [in her dress] squeezes her feet into a pair of black Daria and Jane combat boots. Quinn goes white and everyone else frowns. Second, she goes for a pair of pink Converse sneakers. Tiffany shakes her head no. Sneakers and dresses don't miss. Then Stacy hands her a pair of strappy tan sandals. Perfect!)
(Wearing both the dress and sandals, they head to "A Head Above the Rest" for a new hairstyle. First, the stylist straightens Jasmine's hair. Nope, too limp. Next, she makes it nice and curly. Stacy expresses her utter disgust. Finally, the stylist presents Jasmine with platinum blonde hair and a style reminiscent of Charlie's Angels circa the 70's. Tiffany gives her a thumbs-up.)
(They then head off to "Vanity Fair" for make-up. Sandi applies some foundation that makes her a bit paler. Tiffany adds some plum mascara and lilac eyeliner. Next, Stacy applies a sugar pink blush. Finally, Quinn steps in and puts some magenta lipstick. The result is approved by all.)
END MONTAGE
SCENE FOURTEEN
EXT: Eye Can See Clearly
Sandi: (VO) This is it.
INT: Eye Can See Clearly
(Jasmine, all dolled up, sits in a chair, and twiddles her thumbs. She's very nervous. Tiffany, Stacy and Quinn stand behind her, solemn looks on their faces, save for Stacy who looks tense. Sandi stands in front of them, looking placid. She takes off Jasmine's glasses and places them on a nearby table. She then takes a contact lens from a plastic container of the table and very carefully moves close to Jasmine.)
Stacy: (covering her eyes) I can't watch!
(The camera focuses on Stacy for a moment as she stands there, trembling.)
Sandi: There!
(Camera pans back to Jasmine who sits there, smiling brightly in her foofy new hair, powdery make-up, Hawaiian dress, strappy sandals and blue contacts.)
Tiffany: Wow…
Stacy: Omigod! I can't believe you did it!
Quinn: (genuinely impressed) You've really outdone yourself this time, Sandi.
Sandi: I know.
(She holds up a mirror for Jasmine to see. Jasmine gasps.)
Stacy: (freaked) Oh no! She doesn't like it! My reputation is ruined!
Jasmine: I…I…
Quinn: (to Sandi) This is all your fault! You and your stupid make-over!
Jasmine: I don't know what to say…
Sandi: (to Quinn) My fault? You're the one who invited me on this dumb mall trip!
(Just as the two are about to tear each other apart, Jasmine speaks.)
Jasmine: I love it!
Quinn: What?
Sandi: What?
Tiffany: Huh?
Stacy: Omigod!
Jasmine: I just said I love it. I feel…pretty. I've never felt pretty in my whole life!
(She hugs them.)
Jasmine: Thank you!
Sandi: (surprised) I, uh…
Quinn: No need to thank me. It's what I do.
(Sandi scowls daggers at Quinn, who just smiles smugly back.)
SCENE FIFTEEN
INT: Jane's room, really late
(Daria walks in with two cans of soda. Jane is on her bed, phone to her ear. The clock says 1:30.)
Daria: Jane, maybe we should just call the whole thing off. I mean, who's up past one anyway?
(Jane sets the phone down.)
Jane: The same person who said she might give us an apartment.
Daria: (disbelieving) You're kidding, right?
Jane: Nope.
Daria: I really don't know what to say.
Jane: Anything sarcastic.
Daria: Could I say anything that wasn't?
(She hands Jane a soda.)
Jane: Not to my knowledge. But does it really matter? I can go to Boston, paint and actually be on my own…kind of. It's like everything I want rolled into one.
(Daria clears her throat.)
Jane: (smirking) You didn't expect me to add in the part of my freakin' friend Daria being there too, did you?
(Jane opens the soda and clinks it more or less with Daria's.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
SCREEN: Daria "converses" with Zak as "The Story So Far" plays.
NOW IN STORES: "BLUE CRUSH" SOUNDTRACK: I dunno why, but I'm a big soundtrack fan. The music on this CD is very diverse and very summer-y. Thus it earns an A in my book. I keep hitting the skip back button on my WINAMP Player to listen to Lenny Kravitz's "If I Could Fall In Love." I really like the song. It combines rock and techno. Look for it in "It's Been a Summer or Two", episode four of this series, along with some T/J shipperness… ;)
MAKING THE VIDEO: "He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious?" I admit it. I loooooooooooooove Avril Lavigne and her new CD, Let Go. So naturally seeing how she made "Sk8er Boi" intrigues me. I think the cutest part is when she's all punked out, looks into the camera and in this girly whispery voice says, "Oh my god. I think I have a crush on him."
THE START: I know it's all music, but hey, music is one of my passions. Anyway, if you haven't heard theSTART, go buy their CD, Shakedown, right now! They are one of my all-time favorite bands. Their sound, according to seventeen, is a mixture of the Go Gos and Orgy. However, I think they sound like new eighties music mixed with techno. They are so awesome! Go buy Shakedown and their EP, Death Via Satellite today!
WE NOW RETURN TO DARIA…
SCENE SIXTEEN
INT: Daria's room, early morning.
(Everything's in boxes and she's peacefully sleeping.)
Helen: (VO) Daria! Get up!
(Daria immediately wakes up, freaked out by Helen's screaming. She rubs her eyes.)
Daria: I guess today's the day.
(Helen comes in.)
Helen: Daria, come on! You've got less than an hour to get over to Jane's.
(She opens the closet and pulls out Daria's clothes before throwing them on the bed.)
Helen: Hurry up! Get dressed, take a shower and then come downstairs for breakfast!
(She rushes out.)
Daria: Good morning to you too.
SCENE SEVENTEEN
INT: Morgendorffer kitchen.
(Quinn and Jake are seated at the table while Helen scurries about the kitchen. Quinn's turned around in her chair, trying to negotiate.)
Quinn: Do I have to go? What if someone sees me?
Helen: Quinn, your sister is going to college. Can't you at least see her off?
Quinn: But if everyone finds out my sister's a geek, my social life will go down the drain!
Helen: Well, if your family embarrasses you so much, maybe you should go live with the Griffins!
Quinn: Mo-om! The Griffins are stuck-up! I'm just superficial.
Helen: (mumbling) It's time somebody noticed.
Quinn: I'll just say bye to Daria here. There's really no point in me going all the way over to the Lanes'. Especially if we're just dropping off boxes. Besides, if you recall, I have school.
Helen: (exasperated) Fine.
Quinn: Now, if you don't mind, I'm going upstairs.
Helen: Tell Daria to get her butt down here for breakfast. She's going to be late.
Quinn: Fine, fine.
(She waves Helen off and heads for the stairs.)
SCENE EIGHTEEN
INT: Bathroom.
(Daria's just standing in front of the mirror, looking blankly at her reflection.)
Quinn: Daria…
(Quinn walks in.)
Quinn: Mom says you need to go eat breakfast. God, Daria, you're not turning into an image-obsessed person, are you?
Daria: (deadpan) No. I'm just looking at the oil spills in my pores.
Quinn: Ew!
(Daria starts to walk out.)
Quinn: Daria, wait.
Daria: For the last time, Quinn, those pants don't make your thighs look fat.
Quinn: No, it's not that.
(She kind of hangs her head.)
Daria: Then what?
Quinn: (quietly) I, um…I'll miss you.
Daria: (stunned) What?
Quinn: I mean it. Even though you are kind of geeky and weird-
(Daria frowns.)
Quinn: You're still my sister.
Daria: Uh, thanks Quinn.
(A beat.)
Daria: I'll miss you too.
Quinn: (brightening up) Really?
Daria: (deadpan) No. Just your shadow.
Quinn: (smirking) Daria, you really do care…
Daria: I didn't say that.
(Before she can say anything else, Quinn does the unthinkable. She hugs her.)
Daria: Oof.
Quinn: (pulling away) And if you ever tell anyone I did that, you'll be a geek for life.
Daria: Too late.
Quinn: We should probably go downstairs.
Daria: You go ahead.
(Quinn shrugs and goes down the stairs. Daria waits til she's gone and then heads back into her room. The walls are bare, her desk and shelves are gone, as is the computer. It looks deserted. She sighs a little.)
SCENE NINETEEN
EXT: Lane house.
(Jane and Trent stand in the driveway, arguing [Well, Jane's arguing.].)
Jane: Trent, there is no way we can fit everything in the Tank.
Trent: Hey, it's a lot bigger than it looks.
Jane: Okay, fine. You try to fit everything in. If it doesn't all fit, we're getting a moving van.
(Jane sees a car coming down the street.)
Jane: Probably Daria. No one else would be on our block.
(Surprisingly, it's not. It's Tom.)
Jane: (joking) Hey, what's Mr. Sloane doing here?
Tom: (leaning out the window) Saying goodbye.
Jane: Why? Are you going somewhere?
Tom: No, but you are.
Jane: Oh yeah, that whole Boston thing.
Tom: Take care of yourself.
Jane: That won't be too hard. Daria's not a big thrill-seeker.
Tom: Still.
(A beat.)
Tom: I guess I better get going. Mom's nagging at me to pack.
Jane: (hands on her hips) Don't tell me you drove all the way here just to say bye to me.
Tom: (jokingly) Yep. But if word gets around, you know I'll deny it.
Jane: Honest Sloane. That's what we should call you.
(She smiles and he smiles back.)
Tom: Well, good luck in Boston.
Jane: Thanks.
Tom: See ya!
(He starts to drive off, still smiling.)
Jane: (waving) Yeah…see ya.
Daria: Oh god. You're happy.
(Jane turns around. She was so caught up in the moment, she didn't notice the Morgendorffers drive up.)
Jane: Of course. What did you think I was? Some sort of Misery Chick?
Daria: No, it's just…you're smiling 'cos of Tom, aren't you?
Jane: (uncomfortable) No.
Daria: (crossing her arms) Sure.
Jane: You know, I think I left something in the house.
Trent: Hey, wake Jesse up while you're in there.
Jane: (running into the house) Can do!
(Daria glances at her parents unloading the car and turns to Trent.)
Daria: Did you see that?
Trent: See what?
Daria: Jane.
Trent: Oh, that. Yeah.
Daria: Should I read anything into it?
Trent: Knowing Janey, probably. But don't mention it to her. She doesn't like it when people discuss her romantic entanglements.
Daria: I can't understand why.
(Trent does his cough and laugh thing.)
Trent: You're funny, Daria.
SCENE TWENTY
INT: Lawndale High.
(Quinn, Sandi, Tiffany and Stacy are walking through the hall, wearing so-called "new fall clothes", by which I mean the same ones they always wear. S Club 7's "Everybody Wants Ya" plays.)
Quinn: Sandi, you gave Jasmine advice about Lawndale, right?
Sandi: Of course I did, Quinn. What do you think I am? Stupid?
(Quinn chuckles nervously.)
Sandi: I told her not to be worried if she isn't popular on her first today.
Tiffany: That was smart of you, Sandi.
Stacy: Yeah. It usually takes about a week to be really popular.
(The Three Js come running up to Quinn.)
Jamie: Hi Quinn!
Jeffy: Hey Quinn!
Joey: How was your summer?
Quinn: Hi guys. Uh, could you get me a soda?
Jamie: I'll do it!
Jeffy: I'll get you a cup!
Joey: I'll get you some ice!
(They go running off as fast as they came. Quinn sighs blissfully.)
Quinn: It's good to be popular.
(Just then, Jasmine comes walking by, wearing the clothes from the other day.)
Jasmine: Hi guys! How are you?
Sandi: Oh, hi, Jasmine.
Quinn: Hey.
Tiffany: Hiiiii…
Stacy: Nice to see you again.
Jasmine: I know. Same here. You guys aren't gonna believe this.
Stacy: What?
Jasmine: I've already been asked out three times!
Sandi/Quinn/Tiffany/Stacy: What?
Jasmine: I wasn't expecting it either. But as soon as I got out of my uncle's car, they came flocking like sea gulls.
(They're all just standing there, shocked. No one can speak.)
Jasmine: Well, I better be going. I have to go get my locker assigned. See ya!
(She prances off, followed by a gaping crowd of boys.)
Sandi: I…I don't believe it.
Tiffany: How could she, like, be so popularrrrrrrrr?
Stacy: Oh god. I bet she's more popular than us!
Quinn: Maybe it was her make-over.
Sandi: Are you saying it's my fault that she surpasses us in social status?
Quinn: Oh, no, never, Sandi. Think of it as you're the reason she's so popular.
Sandi: Me? Responsible for someone else's popularity?
Stacy: Well, you did make a princess out of a geek.
Tiffany: Stacy, it's called 'fashion-challenged.'
Stacy: Sorry.
Sandi: This is unbelievable.
Quinn: I know. But really, if you could turn someone that unfashionable into the most popular girl in school, think of what you could do to make us popular.
Sandi: (raising an eyebrow) Us?
Quinn: I mean, you, Sandi. Not us. You.
Sandi: That's what I thought.
(The Three Js come running back to Quinn. Joey puts a few cubes of ice into the Styrofoam cup Jeffy's holding. Jamie pours a can of Ultra Cola into the cup. Jeffy hands it to Quinn.)
Jeffy: Here you go, Quinn.
Quinn: Uh…thanks, Joey.
Joey: I'm Joey.
Quinn: Oh, I meant Jamie.
Jamie: I'm Jamie.
Quinn: Um…what's your name?
(She points to Jeffy.)
Jeffy: I'm Jeffy.
Quinn: Jeffy. Got it.
Sandi: Well, it looks like our senior year will be just as boring as every other year.
Stacy: And uneventful.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Quinn: But don't we have to-
(She shuts her mouth. What's the point of mentioning college applications to the Fashion drones?)
Sandi: Don't we have to what?
Quinn: Oh, nothing.
Sandi: Well, at least your "cousin" won't be around anymore.
Stacy: She was so ge-
Tiffany: (condescending) Stacy.
Stacy: Fashion challenged.
(Tiffany nods with approval.)
Quinn: I guess so. But I think I'll miss her. You know, in the way that now there's no school freak. (smiling) Daria…I wonder what she's doing right now…
SCENE TWENTY-ONE
EXT: Lane House
(The Tank obviously couldn't hold everything, so they've attached a small U-Haul trailer to the back. Jane and Daria are saying their goodbyes.)
Helen: And Daria, make sure you e-mail us every day.
Daria: Uh huh.
Jake: And I want a written letter each week, dammit!
Daria: (smiling a little) Well, okay. But you've been forewarned.
Helen: Be careful, sweetie. I don't want you having rowdy parties in the apartment. I know the desire will be almost unshakeable, but-
Daria: Mom, it's not even definite that we get an apartment. Jane might have to come back if we don't.
(Jane, Amanda and Helen give Daria knowing smiles.)
Daria: Wait a minute. You know something I don't, don't you?
Jane: Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but your mom landed us the apartment.
Daria: (shocked) What?
Helen: I didn't do much, really. Amanda and I acted as your references, along with Mr. O'Neill. I've already sent your first few payments, so you have time to get on your feet.
Daria: Mom…I…I don't know what to say.
Helen: You don't have to say anything, sweetie.
(She and Jake pull Daria into a hug. She blushes scarlet at first and glances at Trent. He gives her a cool smile. She smiles herself and hugs them back. Amanda, who's been standing next to Jane, turns to her daughter.)
Amanda: I know you'll do wonderfully in college and in that gallery job.
Jane: Well, I guess I kind of have a knack for it.
Amanda: (hugging Jane) That you do.
Jane: Mom, I just want to say thanks.
Amanda: For what?
Jane: For everything. For the money, for the apartment, for just being a mom.
(Amanda smiles.)
Amanda: Well, thanks for being my daughter.
(Trent looks down at his wrist.)
Trent: We should get going.
Jane: Trent, you don't have a watch on.
Trent: Oh.
Jane: He's probably right, though.
Daria: Time to go?
Helen: It certainly looks that way.
(Daria looks at her parents, suddenly feeling a little sad. As perfect mood music, "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch begins to play.)
Jake: Go on, kiddo. We'll be rooting for you.
Helen: I know you'll make us proud, Daria.
(She places a hand on Daria's shoulder.)
Helen: And always remember, we love you.
Daria: Thanks, Mom.
(Jake starts to sniffle.)
Jake: It's time for you to get in that van. You may not want to, but if you don't you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday.
(He breaks down. Daria, feeling embarrassed, gives him a mild hug.)
Daria: It'll be okay, Dad.
(Trent opens the driver's side door and gets in. Jane lingers for a minute beside Amanda.)
Amanda: Something wrong, Janey?
Jane: Nope.
(She hugs Amanda. Amanda smiles, letting a few tears escape too.)
Jane: (whispering) I love you, Mom.
Amanda: I love you too, Janey.
(They break and kind of stand there smiling at each other for a moment. Trent clears his throat.)
Jane: Right. Well, I guess it's finally time for this Lane to leave the nest.
Amanda: Just remember not to leave the nest that is your soul.
(Jane gives her a "what" look.)
Amanda: (whispering in Jane's ear) Go get that Sloane boy. I like him.
(Amanda winks at Jane. Jane and Daria climb into the van from the other side.)
Trent: Finally. Jesse says if this thing overheats again-
Jane: Trent, just drive.
Jake: Bye, sweetie! Make us proud!
(He sniffles. Helen and Amanda just wave as the Tank drives off.)
Daria: So this is it.
Jane: We're really leaving Lawndale.
Daria: No more after school Pizza King, no more pep rallies, no more teacher's dirty looks… (A bt.) No more Tom…
(Trent gives Daria a look. Jane just looks out the window, kind of saddened.)
Jane: Yeah…
(Note: Right as she says this, Michelle sings, "And when the stars fall, I will lie awake at night. You're my shooting star.")
ROLL END CREDITS to "Goodbye to You."
THE END
--
Phew! That was quite a challenge. If you've read Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Babbitt, there's a part where she says that beginning writing a piece is the hardest part of writing. You sit there, staring at the screen or your paper, scared to write something, in fear of what might conspire. I definitely agree with her. This first part served to help me deal with my fear of writing Daria fan fiction and in script style. I wrote a script for a Hey Arnold! fic a while ago, and that didn't turn out so well, so it was only natural that the mere thought of scripting scared me. But I did it and the world didn't end. When I was writing the last few scenes about Daria and Jane leaving Lawndale, I could really identify with them. In life, change is everywhere. To put it in the words of Lana Lang, "Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's beautiful. Most of the time, it's both." This fic forced me to bend, to change to a different style of writing and a different series. I was very nervous at first (and still am!) but I think I've come quite a long way. I can't say it was the most fun I've ever had, but it was entertaining. Especially receiving my beta reader's comments via IM. It felt good to see some many "LMAO!" popping up. I know it's not the funniest thing in the world and can't possible compare to some of the great writers here, but this is my story and I felt I should share it with the world, if only so one person could read it and understand that this is my imagination unbarred. It's okay if you like it. It's cool if you don't, but whether you do like it or not isn't the issue. I believe that to write something and let others see it shows incredible courage. It's not because of the fact that others may not see it in the same light as you. I believe that in everything we write, a part of our soul and heart goes into it. Showing it to someone lets them take away a little piece of ourselves. We fear for that little trinket. We hope that whoever takes it understands it. Because for them to be ignorant and not bother to pay attention to the individual who produced the words would be quite…well, depressing. I know you may not agree with my idea of what season six should be like, but I hope that you do understand that this vision is mine and unique. I pray that you take care of the piece of me you accept when you read this.
Okay, enough of my pseudo-weird ideas! J I'd like to extend the deepest gratitude to the following people:
Kara Wild, author of the excellent "Driven Wild Universe" fic, for allowing me to use the commercial hell bit. Although mine will generally be commercial heaven. ;)
Jamie Bosanko, my beta reader, for taking the time to read through all my work. You've given me so many "I love this!" that I could start my own bank. Not to mention your patented digital hugs, especially when I got dumped by that tosser. ;)
Allen, my loyal friend, for always being there for me. I always look forward to hearing new fic ideas from you. Thanks for your insight on the Tom scene, even though you've never seen Daria!
Shalaena, my best friend forever, just for being my friend. You put up with so much from me. How can I ever repay you? You were the first person to read my rough draft of the first few scenes and I don't think I will ever forget sitting in the tent on the camping trip, 11 pm with flashlight in hand, and you laughing quietly and awkwardly at the Heath Ledger line. I love you! J
You, whoever you are, for just reading the fic! I know it's not great, but I tried. Thank you so much for taking the bit of my soul that I've left naked to the world. I hope that eventually you will understand it, if you don't already.
Now, for some "hidden" pop culture references:
The title: Half-derived from that ABC sitcom, "Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place." I only saw one episode because when it first debuted I was quite young and Mom thought it was too vulgar. LOL. Also from the title of a piece of Futurama fan fiction.
The Gap: A joke I heard from my best friend. She said she heard it on "The Nanny."
Heath Ledger: In the movie "Josie and the Pussycats", there's a machine designed to send out subliminal messages. One of these states that "Heath Ledger is the new Matt Damon." A moment later, one character remarks, "I want a vintage tee and Heath Ledger."
SSW: The night I wrote that I was at my best friend's church camp. It was Hobo stew night where everyone brings an ingredient and it gets tossed into a big pot. You then eat the stew out of cans. But it doesn't give you superhuman strength. L
Suspiciously nice: In episode three of Futurama, Fry and Bender are apartment-hunting in New York and they find an ad for a "Suspiciously good apartment" in the paper. They check it out and the guy's like, "There's no catch. Although, technically, we are located in New Jersey." The next scene as Fry looking despondent saying, "Not one even remotely livable."
Plain_Jane_Lane16: My MTV.com identity and Paperpusher's Message Board ID.
Idle Hands are the Devil's Playthings: Obviously, an old saying but also the title of the supposed series finale of Futurama, in which Fry makes a pact with the devil so he can get robot hands which will allow him to express his love for his co-worker Leela.
Sheltered Shrubs: The neighborhood Ginger Foutley lives in on Nickelodeon's "As Told By Ginger." It's a very under-rated cartoon.
Honeymoon dress: A term I got from one of my favorite pieces of fan fiction, "Ribbons/Hair/Never/There." It's a very sad Hey Arnold! story about Helga and Arnold after graduation. In one scene, she lets him sleep in her room since he's got a hang-over and when she enters the next morning, he describes her Hawaiian dress as a Honeymoon dress.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow: Hm…Casablanca, anyone?
Thanx peeps! Look for "Adjust This" up soon!