"Is It Season Six Yet?" by Miss Pataki
Episode Two: Adjust This
A/N: Wow! I'm writing this a few hours after posting "Two Chicks and an Apartment" and already I have two reviews. Whoo! Thanks, Roger E. Moore and Brendon League! Okay, I suppose now that I've dipped my feet into the pool that is Daria fan fiction-writing, my mistakes are inexcusable. Just kidding. I still consider myself a virgin to the whole writing about our favorite Misery Chick. Anyway, both pointed out that Quinn had gotten past the whole "Daria's my cousin" phase. I believe that happened in "Lucky Strike." Am I right? Back on topic, I perceived Quinn admitting Daria was her sister to just the Fashion Club, not everyone. Didn't she also try to disguise her identity at the graduation in IICY? Maybe I'm a bit out of the circle (I only became a fan in early July.) but from my point of view, Quinn's still a bit queasy about her relation to Daria (This WILL change in a later chapter.). Feel free to express your opinion against this though! Now, to individually address my reviewer's comments:
Roger- I haven't seen a lot of season five (Damn Noggin!) but I was under the impression that Tom maintained something of a friendship with Jane. I admit the FC/Jasmine storyline was…weak to say the least. I hate to admit it, but the sub-plot was mainly to divert attention from the main one. -_* You may now flame me. ;)
Brendon- I had no idea! I was under the impression that they were separate stores, like Rave and Sears. But instead they're one big store, like Brass Plum in Nordstrom. ;) Thanks for pointing that out!
Martin- Thanky swanky for the compliments! As for Tom and Jane, I'll explain that in Part Four, a very shippy episode if I do say so myself. Lots of music too! : mumbles something about Electrasy and theSTART :
Disclaimer: I don't own Daria or any of the songs included here. Daria is property of MTV and Viacom. I really don't know what recording companies the artists are contracted to. Bad, evil me… ;)
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Daria
In
"Adjust This"
SCENE ONE
INT: Daria's room in the morning.
(Camera is focused on Daria, who's still asleep. Her mattress sits on the floor, surrounded by boxes, and she's only got a pillow and blanket. Her radio alarm clock sits on the floor and clicks to 7:00. It turns on, playing Weezer's "Keep Fishin'." Daria, eyes still closed, blindly fumbles around with one hand and turns it off. After a few moments, the picture fades to Daria's dream.)
SCENE TWO
INT: Daria and Jane's apartment.
(Daria holds open the door as Trent carries in a box. We can see that it's quite dark outside. He sets it down in the short hallway.)
Trent: That's the last of them.
Jane: (who's standing there, observing everything) Well, thanks Trent.
Trent: No problem. You sure you'll be alright, Janey?
(Jane crosses her arms.)
Jane: You sound like Tom.
(Trent and Daria give her looks.)
Jane: (mumbling) Not that I would know…
(Trent turns to Daria.)
Trent: What about you, Daria?
Daria: I'll be fine. If any strange college guys start hitting on me, I'll just introduce them to my crazy roommate.
(Jane rolls her eyes.)
Trent: I guess I should get moving then. I've got to get back home for practice.
Jane: (skeptical) At two am?
Trent: Well, obviously not. But it'll be time once I get back to Lawndale.
Jane: You've put some thought into this, haven't you, Trent?
Trent: What? Oh, yeah.
(He and Jane make eye contact for a minute.)
Jane: Don't make me hug you.
Trent: Wasn't gonna.
(Awkward silence.)
Jane: Um…I guess a pat on the back wouldn't hurt.
Trent: Okay.
(Confused, he walks over to her and very uncomfortably pats her shoulder.)
Jane: God, if you're gonna look at me like that, I'll hug you.
(She hugs him and it's obvious she means it. He just gives her his cool smile.)
Jane: (breaking it awkwardly) Okay, enough of that.
Trent: Take care of yourself, Janey. If you're gonna conform to society's education standards, at least don't let your guard down.
Jane: If I mustn't.
(Trent turns to Daria.)
Trent: (whispering in her ear) Keep an eye on her. She can go ballistic at the worst possible times.
Daria: (deadpan) Now I have something to look forward to.
Trent: You're a good kid, Daria. Don't let outside influences spoil that.
(He kisses her on the cheek. She turns beet-red.)
Trent: Later.
Jane: See ya, Trent. Don't fall asleep on the way home.
(Trent heads out.)
Daria: Yeah. Bye.
(Camera fades back to reality.)
SCENE THREE
INT: Daria's room.
(Camera focuses on Daria [we can't see the clock]. The radio comes on again, still playing the Weezer song. Daria fumbles and turns it off, not opening her eyes. The camera pulls back to show the clock. A hand comes down and turns it on. Daria frowns and sits up. She opens her eyes and sees Jane standing there in her jogging outfit, smirking.)
Jane: Gooooooood morning, Mary Sunshine. You kept trying to switch off the radio.
Daria: And I would've gotten away with it, too if it weren't for you meddling Lane.
Jane: Don't you have a college to get to?
Daria: Probably.
Jane: So why aren't you getting up?
Daria: Because I can't move when other people are in my presence. And since you're standing there, it makes me slower than…than…
Jane: A slug with frostbite?
Daria: You have been watching "Sick, Sad World" every day, haven't you?
Jane: (shrugs) It's not like there's anything else worth watching on TV. Don't even get me started on soap operas.
Daria: Believe me, there's no way in hell I'd do that.
Jane: Well, anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were up. I'm gonna go for a run.
(She heads for the door and then turns around as she's reaching for the knob.)
Jane: Oh, and I did see how loopy you got when Trent left.
(She smirks at Daria before exiting.)
Daria: Damn emotions.
(Daria grabs her glasses off the floor from where they sit, next to the alarm clock. Camera changes to her POV. The room is very blurry until she puts her glasses on. Camera switches back to regular angle as she sits up in bed, looking around the room. The walls are light gray and the carpet is a hint darker. The boxes are still sealed and placed willy-nilly around it. Her regular outfit is lying wrinkled on the floor. The window's off-white blinds are closed.)
Daria: This is gloomy. Even for me.
(She gets up out of bed and walks over to a box marked 'clothes.' She opens it and pulls out the usual green jacket, brown-orange top and black skirt.)
Daria: Looks like it's time to begin at yet another school with the usual alienation.
(She shrugs before pulling off her socks.)
SCENE FOUR
EXT: Lawndale High.
(The first few notes of Everclear's "Wonderful" play.)
Sandi: (VO) So, what do you want to do after school?
INT: Lawndale High, Mr. O'Neill's room.
(The Fashion Clubbers sit in their usual corner, each flipping through a copy of Waif.)
Stacy: Isn't that new movie playing at the theater in the mall?
Tiffany: Which one?
Stacy: Um…that one with the girl who wants to skateboard but everyone says it's a guy's sport and she and her friends live in a crappy apartment and she has to raise her little brother while working in a run-down motel.
Quinn: Oh, you mean "Blue Rush"?
Stacy: That's the one!
Sandi: A movie about skateboarding? God, Stacy, you're not turning into a punk, are you?
Stacy: N-no, Sandi.
Sandi: Good. Now, I say that we all go to Vanity Fair to check out their new line of lip gloss.
Tiffany: Actually, I wanted to go to The Phonograph.
Sandi: The music store?
Tiffany: Yeah. The new Whitney Clears CD is out.
Stacy: I heard Whitney's gonna be there, signing autographs!
Sandi: I bet she could give us lots of fashion tips. I suppose we could go.
(Tiffany and Stacy smile, but Quinn frowns.)
Sandi: And then, I suggest we go to Vanity Fair, followed by Junior 5 and Step Up.
Stacy: Great idea, Sandi!
Tiffany: I could use a new pair of strappy sandals.
(Quinn crosses her arms and frowns.)
Quinn: Um, didn't we end the Fashion Club in June?
Tiffany: I think so. I was there.
Sandi: What's your point, Quinn? You're not trying to restart it, are you?
Quinn: No! Never, Sandi. I just think that since we ended it maybe we should do stuff we didn't do when we were in the club.
Sandi: Are you saying maybe we should remove the focus from fashion?
Quinn: Well…
Sandi: 'Cos it certainly sounds that way.
Quinn: Well, let's put it this way: If we do the same things we did when the Fashion Club was alive, what difference does it make if it exists or not?
Tiffany: But Quinn…
Stacy: Quinn, if we give up fashion, we'll….well, we just can't! We need fashion!
Tiffany: Yeah. If we didn't have fashion, is there any point in leaving the house?
Quinn: Believe it or not, but there's a lot more to life than fashion!
(Stacy gasps.)
Sandi: Of course there is.
Tiffany: Like guys and make-up.
Quinn: What do you intend to do with your life, you guys? I mean, I don't know about you, but I hope to get a good job and make some money.
Tiffany: But why do that when we can just marry someone rich?
(Quinn sighs.)
Sandi: I was afraid this would happen. Quinn Morgendorffer, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to abstain from our trip to the mall this afternoon.
Quinn: Fine. I don't need fashion! I'll find something else to do!
(Stacy freaks out and starts crying.)
Sandi: Oh, shut up, Stacy.
(Camera switches to front of the classroom where Mr. O'Neill stands.)
Mr. O'Neill: Well, welcome back to English class. Now, before we begin our reading of A Tale of Two Cities, I'd like to make an important announcement.
(Ms. Li walks in.)
Ms. Li: I'll take care of that, Mr. O'Neill.
(Mr. O'Neill moves aside.)
Mr. O'Neill: Well, okay.
(Ms. Li turns to the class.)
Ms. Li: Students, you've begun your last year here at the wonderful Laaaaaawndale High. How are you liking it so far?
(Camera switches to emotion-less, silent class. Camera switches back to Ms. Li.)
Ms. Li: (frowning) Anyway, soon it will be time to fill out your college applications and many of you… (muttering) All of you…could use some extracurricular activities on them. Now, thanks to Ms. Paully, you'll all be given the opportunity to make your applications more impressive, by joining… (Pause for effect) the drama club!
Sandi: Ew! Those thespians?
Stacy: (horrified) She wants us to join those poor girls led astray?!
Ms. Li: Now, who would like to volunteer?
(No one raises their hand. Ms. Li waits a few moments before speaking.)
Ms. Li: Well, if none of you will accept this generous offer and the chance to perform William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet", I suppose I'll move on to the next classroom.
(Quinn raises her hand.)
Ms. Li: Miss Morgendorffer, you can't volunteer to be head of the costuming department.
Quinn: Actually, Ms. Li, I want to volunteer to be in the drama club.
Ms. Li: (not understanding) I'm sorry but- (realizing) Did you just say you wanted to join the drama club?
Quinn: I think so. I mean, yes.
Ms. Li: I must say, this is a surprise. Your sister gave me the impression that no one in your family was concerned about the school.
(Quinn chuckles.)
Quinn: You don't say.
SCENE FIVE
INT: Daria and Jane's kitchen.
(It's very compact and very white. Jane is making some coffee. Daria enters, her hair very damp and getting the back of her shirt wet. She's carrying her jacket in one hand.)
Daria: (wringing out her hair) Ugh…
Jane: (pouring a cup of coffee) So you figured out the water's really cold and neither of us brought a hair dryer.
Daria: Unfortunately. How'd you dry your hair?
Jane: One word- heated hair wrap.
Daria: That's two words.
Jane: Actually, I think it's three.
Daria: Well, the shower doesn't work, I have no way of drying my hair and I can't tell if hair wrap is one or two damn words.
Jane: Hey, hey. Don't get mad. At least, not until after you've tried Jane Lane's famous Morning Wake-Up Call coffee.
(She hands a cup of coffee to Daria. Daria takes a sip.)
Daria: It taste's like Folgers.
Jane: It is Folgers. I just say it's my recipe. Trent can't tell the difference.
Daria: It's nice to know you don't take advantage of your brother's vulnerability.
Jane: It is, isn't it? So what classes do you have lined up for today?
Daria: Tragic English Literature before lunch and then Study of Edgar Allen Poe and Russian History afterwards.
Jane: (sipping her coffee) Sounds like a fun-filled day.
Daria: Well, as long as I don't daydream it will be.
Jane: Still thinking about last night?
Daria: Unfortunately.
Jane: You shouldn't try to hide it Daria. It makes it more obvious.
Daria: Really?
Jane: Oh yeah. I mean, if Trent didn't know before last night, he certainly knows now. When we go back home, you should ask him out.
Daria: Can we not discuss my love life or lack thereof?
Jane: Sorry. It's just really cute, is all.
Daria: So was yesterday morning when Tom pulled up.
Jane: (blushing) Point taken.
Daria: What are you doing today?
Jane: I think I'll unpack and decorate. I figured I'd talk to our landlord about painting the walls.
Daria: Good luck.
Jane: Thanks. You too.
Daria: I'll need it.
(She finally gives up on her hair and puts on her jacket before heading for the door. Jane follows. In the hallway, she grabs her gray backpack.)
Jane: Have fun.
Daria: You know I will.
(She opens the door. In front of her, reaching for the doorbell is a girl about twenty-five of average height. The girl's pale, has pink hair with light blonde roots showing and is wearing a black Jimmy Eat World shirt and a pair of low-rider jeans. Just for the record, she's also wearing pink converse sneakers. ;) )
Girl: Oh, hey- You must be Daria and Jane.
Jane: That would be us.
(She holds out her hand.)
Jane: I'm Jane Lane.
(The girl shakes her hand.)
Girl: Josie Carpenter. My father owns all the apartments, but leaves me in charge of them for some odd reason.
(She glances at Daria.)
Josie: Oh, did I catch you at a bad time?
Daria: No, I just have to start my college education. No biggie.
(Josie grins.)
Josie: (pointing) If you go down Lennon Street and past Blossom Hair, you'll get to an intersection. Turn left and you can't miss it.
Daria: Um, thanks. Nice meeting you, Josie.
Josie: Same here, Daria.
(Daria heads off toward the direction Josie pointed.)
Jane: So was there any reason you came by?
Josie: Not really. I just wanted to say hi.
Jane: (surprised) Oh, well, in that case, wanna come in? There's still some coffee left.
Josie: Thanks.
SCENE SIX
INT: Kitchen
(Josie and Jane are seated at the counter, sipping coffee.)
Josie: So what brings you to Boston, Jane?
Jane: Well, I decided being an artist wasn't enough. I have to be a starving artist by going to Boston Fine Arts College. I applied late though, so I start later in the year.
Josie: I see. I really admire artists. I mean, I think they're the most honest people this country has to offer. They freely expose themselves to the world. (A bt.) Figuratively speaking, of course.
Jane: It's not easy, but I enjoy it. Especially now. I just got a gig doing paintings for a gallery here.
Josie: Wow. And you're only eighteen.
Jane: (smirking) I always was an over-achiever. So…are there any intelligent, good-looking guys around here?
Josie: You mean besides my boyfriend? Yeah, there are some. You just have to look. They're not exactly the easiest to get a hold of. Though I have to admit, it seems a bit funny that you're looking for romance here. Already, I mean.
Jane: (at a loss for words) Well, I…
Josie: Unless you're getting over someone, which I totally understand.
Jane: I suppose you could say that…
(She studies her coffee for a moment before Josie speaks again.)
Josie: So…when do you plan on unpacking and junk?
Jane: Today, most likely. I need my mindless tabloid TV show fix.
Josie: I won't keep you then.
(She and Jane head for the door.)
Jane: Thanks for coming by. It was nice meeting you.
Josie: Yeah. You too.
(She walks out the door, but pops her head back in.)
Josie: And if you feel like making the walls your easel, please do so. They could use a make-over.
(Jane closes the door and smirks.)
Jane: I didn't even have to ask.
(Pink's "Don't Let Me Get Me" starts to play, continuing into scene seven.)
SCENE SEVEN
EXT: Raft College.
(The college is well-kept with neat lawns. Not nearly as fancy as Bromwell, but pretty darn close.)
INT: Valentine's classroom.
(Daria sits on the right, toward the front of the classroom, surrounded by "normal-looking" students. A few stare at her and whisper a bit. A couple girls giggle. Daria is wearing her usual dead-pan expression. A woman in her early thirties [Valentine] stands at the board, writing. She has shoulder-length straight dirty blonde hair and wears a v-neck plum three-quarter length shirt and a long bohemian blue/calico skirt. She turns to face the class.)
Valentine: Hello, students. Welcome to Raft College. I hope you'll enjoy your stay here and learn a lot. I'm Professor Valentine and this is Tragic English Literature. So if you're in the wrong classroom, I suggest you high-tail it out of here.
(She smirks at two "trendy" girls laughing in back.)
Valentine: Don't you two have a sale to be at in the mall? Or do you just have something to tell the class?
(The girls clam up and look straight at Professor Valentine.)
Daria: (smirking too) I can tell I'm gonna like this class.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
SCREEN: Josie introduces herself to Daria and Jane, with "Keep Fishin" playing in the background.
"Next week on a brand-new Daria…Kevin tries to get used to life without Brittany, unsuccessfully…"
(Shot of Kevin in the middle of the football field at night.)
Kevin: Babe!
"While Jane gets a kitten to end her bouts of loneliness…"
(Jane sits on the couch, petting a gray kitten. It yawns wide.)
Jane: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stick your finger in there?
(Daria enters, carrying a soda.)
Daria: Thankfully not.
IS IT COLLEGE YET?: Now on DVD and video. Unfortunately, MTV decided to be a bunch of asses and put the edited version on DVD, remove all music from the two episodes and give us no real special features. I would have made it the uncut version and included Garbage's "Breaking Up the Girl" video if it was up to me, but unfortunately, 'tis not. At least I've got a blurry uncut version on my hard drive. J
VANILLA COKE: Omigod, you guys, this stuff is soooooo addicting! I had some in July on the way to Canada and I got hooked. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to get Mom to buy some here, but at least she buys Diet Coke. Anyway, you have to try it. It's the best soft drink ever!
ANGUS, THONGS AND FULL-FRONTAL SNOGGING: I swear, that is the funniest book I've ever read. It should really be a movie. I'd cast Evan Rachel Wood ("Simone", TV's Once and Again) as the lead, Georgia. Heather Matarrazzo ("The Princess Diaries") could be her best friend, Jas. I'd prolly choose Matt Czuchry ("Eight-Legged Freaks") to play Robbie, the Sex God himself. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go read the book!
NOW, BACK TO DARIA…
SCENE EIGHT
INT: Lawndale High hallway
(The Fashion Club is walking toward their next class. Sandi and Tiffany look pissed at Quinn, who's walking faster and a bit farther ahead. Stacy looks conflicted.)
Sandi: Quinn, I can't believe you're actually gonna become a…a…
Stacy: A drama geek.
Tiffany: Stacy.
(Stacy sobs.)
Quinn: It's not a big deal. I need something to do after school is all. No biggie.
Sandi: It is so a big deal, Quinn Morgendorffer. Next thing you know, you'll be signing up for all those extra curricular activities and running for student government. You'll be just like that Landon girl.
Tiffany: We would never want you to be like that, Quinn.
Stacy: But wasn't Jodie the most popular girl in school after us and Brittany Taylor?
Tiffany: But she was like…a smart person.
Quinn: I'm smart.
Sandi: Quinn, do you really want to be like Jodie doing all that volunteer work and being even less…
(She trails off.)
Quinn: Sandi?
Sandi: (adjusting herself) On second thought, this drama club thing could be a good idea. You could let Lawndale really get to know the real Quinn Morgendorffer.
(Tiffany and Stacy look confused, as does Quinn. Quinn frowns for a moment before shrugging.)
Quinn: I'm glad you think that way, Sandi. But I don't think anyone will really get to know me if I'm playing a character up on stage.
(The Three J's come running up to her.)
Jeffy: Hey Quinn, I heard you're signing up to be in "Romeo and Juliet."
Quinn: Actually, I already did.
Jamie: Wow! You should be Juliet.
Quinn: Thanks, Jamie.
Joey: And I'll be Romeo.
(Jeffy shoves him out of the way.)
Jeffy: No way! I'm gonna play Romeo!
(Jamie pushes them both.)
Jamie: I'm Romeo 'cos I already signed up!
Jeffy: No fair!
(They get into a shoving match. Quinn shrugs and continues on, followed by the Fashion Club.)
SCENE NINE
INT: Daria and Jane's kitchen.
(Jane's got her head in the fridge as Daria walks in.)
Daria: You won't find the meaning of life in there. I checked this morning.
(Camera switches to inside the fridge. Jane looks around for something. Finding nothing, she shuts the door. The camera switches back to the kitchen.)
Jane: You won't find any food in there either. I think we need to go shopping.
Daria: I hadn't planned on calling Quinn so soon, but if you think it's necessary.
Jane: Well, Mom slipped me some extra money and I was thinking of getting some more paint for the walls. I may as well buy the essentials too.
Daria: As long as you don't start eating Model Crunch, we'll be in the clear.
Jane: So how was "English Stories of Death and Suffering?"
Daria: Not too bad, actually. The teacher hates popular people and actually understands the subject.
Jane: It's the future you!
Daria: Perhaps. But let's not get our hopes up.
Jane: Speaking of hopes, you weren't planning on making lunch here, were you?
Daria: It would be stupid to say yes now.
Jane: (smirking) That's my line. Anyway, I was flipping through the phone book and found the name of a diner a few blocks from here. They're supposed to have the best pizza around.
Daria: Are you suggesting that we eat there?
Jane: Well, if you insist.
SCENE TEN
INT: The diner.
(The style is that of a 50's drive-in with the funky countertops, bars and stools, etc. The waitresses wear those kinky orangey-pink dress and apron ensembles, minus the roller skates. The bar sits in front of an old-fashioned silvery-metallic kitchen with one of those spinny-order thingys [I know I suck at descriptions!]. Jane and Daria sit at one of the booths by the window, enjoying a pie. Cindy Alexander's cover of "American Girl" plays.)
Jane: It's almost like Lawndale.
Daria: Are you sure that's a good thing?
Jane: It's not really bad or good. I mean, I guess it's good. If, and when, we get homesick, we can just come here. It'll be like old times.
Daria: At least there aren't any brain-dead cheerleaders in sight. I'll give it credit for that.
Jane: (looking toward the door) You spoke too soon.
(Daria turns around to look at the door. A group of five girls in red and yellow cheerleading outfits enters, chattering away. One points to a table a few away from Daria and Jane's. Continuing their chatter, they walk toward it. When they reach Daria and Jane's booth, they go silent. As they pass, they just stare at them ala FC and Tom and Daria in IIFY. Jane stares back, one eyebrow raised. As soon as they pass, they chatter again.)
Jane: Well, that was unsettling.
Daria: Eerily familiar, if you ask me.
(She looks down at her watch.)
Jane: Time for more cruel and unusual torture?
Daria: Just about.
(She takes another bite of pizza and grabs her backpack before standing up.)
Daria: Gonna buy more paint?
Jane: Not just yet. I wanna see if I can piss off those cheerleaders.
Daria: See ya then.
Jane: Here's hoping you get other good teachers.
Daria: (going out the door) Don't jinx it.
(Jane smirks and sits back down, straining to hear the cheerleaders' conversation. Camera focuses on her, slinking down in her seat.)
Waitress: You done?
(Camera pans out.)
Jane: (finger to her lips) Shhhhh!
(The waitress shrugs and walks off. Camera goes back to focusing on Jane.)
Head Cheerleader [Melissa]: Look, Valerie. The squad and I have been talking and frankly…
Cheerleader [Becca]: We don't think you're qualified to stay in the A-squad.
Cheerleader [Valerie]: What!?
Cheerleader [Natalie]: It means we're kicking you out.
Valerie: Why?
Cheerleader [Jessica]: We don't want to sound petty, but you're…well…
Melissa: The A-squad has a certain level of beauty to uphold. And if one member can't fulfill that duty, then she's out.
Valerie: But I need to be here!
Becca: And so does Chrissy.
Valerie: You're putting her on the A-squad?! What's wrong with you?
Jessica: It's just that Chrissy is a lot more…
Natalie: Pretty than you.
Valerie: I can't believe this!
(She starts to sob. Camera is still focused on Jane. We hear someone clearing their throat. Jane looks up. Camera shows a tear-stained and mad Valerie towering over her. Valerie's got shiny auburn straight hair that reaches past her shoulders [She could be compared to Kansas from "Sugar and Spice."]. She's very slender and has piercing brown eyes. Jane sits up, a sheepish look on her face.)
Jane: Um, hi. I'm Jane. You must be Valerie.
(She holds out her hand. Valerie continues glaring.)
Jane: Do you want to sit down?
Valerie: (hands on her hips) No.
Jane: Alright then. Do you want to take a walk?
(Valerie's face softens.)
Valerie: I'd like that.
SCENE ELEVEN
INT: Another classroom at Raft.
(This one is more dignified. The walls are an off-white color and tall, mahogany beams support the roof. Rectangular windows sit toward the high corners of the room, letting a few beams of light in. A woman with graying hair pulled up into a bun sits at the desk in front. A pair of black spectacles sits on her very pointed nose. She has a bored expression on her face. Daria sits in the left most seat in the front.)
Professor [Brown]: Now, can anyone tell me what journal Poe worked at when he wrote "The Poetic Principle"?
(A preppy girl with brown hair raises her hand.)
Brown: Yes, Miss Henson?
Henson [Elizabeth]: I believe it was New England Rose.
Brown: Very good, Miss Henson.
(Daria frowns and raises her hand.)
Brown: Miss Morgendorffer?
Daria: Actually, it was the Southern Literary Messenger.
Brown: (frowning) Thank you, Miss Morgendorffer.
(She turns to the board and writes the year '1816' on it.)
Brown: In the year 1816, seven years after being adopted by the Allans, Poe was sent to study in a boarding school in England.
(Daria raises her hand.)
Brown: Yes, Miss Morgendorffer?
Daria: I believe it was a year before that, in 1815.
Brown: Yes, I stand corrected. Now, he used the boarding school as a setting for what story?
(A black-haired guy raises his hand.)
Brown: Mr. Papillion?
(Daria smirks a little.)
Papillion [Cale]: The boarding school was the setting for "Tamberlane."
Brown: Thank you, Mr. Papillion. That is correct.
Daria: No, it's not.
Brown: Excuse me, Miss Morgendorffer. But I didn't see you raise your hand.
(Daria sighs and raises her hand.)
Brown: Not now, Miss Morgendorffer. I need to finish outlining Poe's life.
Daria: Maybe you wouldn't have to if everyone had glanced at the required reading.
Brown: Excuse me?
Daria: It seems to me that no one in this class knows a thing about Edgar Allan Poe.
Brown: Keep your opinions to yourself, Miss Morgendorffer.
Daria: (standing up) Why? Because I might embarrass you? I bet you couldn't tell Jane Stannard and Virginia Clemm apart.
Brown: That's enough, Daria. Now, maybe you'd like to teach the class?
(Daria feels her cheeks go red as the class glares at her. "Falling For the First Time" by the Barenaked Ladies plays.)
SCENE TWELVE
EXT: The diner.
(Jane and Valerie are walking along the pavement outside the diner.)
Jane: So why exactly did they kick you out?
Valerie: I wasn't pretty enough.
Jane: So I heard. (She blushes.) I mean, but why weren't you pretty enough?
(Valerie points to her nose. Jane squints.)
Jane: A zit? They kicked you out because you have a zit!?
Valerie: The A-squad is known to be flawless. If anyone ever found out, it could be disastrous.
Jane: But it's a zit! Everyone else gets them.
Valerie: But the A-squad isn't everyone. We're supposed to be perfect.
Jane: Says who?
Valerie: Well…Melissa for one.
Jane: Melissa isn't the official decider of beauty, is she? You can't let her push you around.
Valerie: It's not that easy. I mean, she's the original A-squad cheerleader. I got in because I buddied up to her. She's the most popular girl at Raft. Anyone who stands in her way is toast.
Jane: She already kicked you out. What else can she do?
Valerie: I know Raft is supposed to be this great, diverse college, but it's not the way it appears to be. It's like high school, only worse. The professors jump down your throat if you correct them and the popular, pretty people rule the school. They can have whoever they want kicked out. Especially because Melissa's father is the dean.
Jane: Wow. I didn't know college sucked as much as high school.
Valerie: Well, it does. I got into Raft on a scholarship. I can't botch it. There's no way my family could afford to send me here otherwise. If I get kicked out, I'm finished.
Jane: I'm sorry.
Valerie: It's okay. So, what brings you to Boston?
Jane: Well, I'm going to BFAC midterm and I got this gallery gig. I'm kind of an artist.
Valerie: Really? I've always wanted to get out and do something like that. Can I see some of your work?
Jane: Better yet, you can assist me in my next task: Re-doing my apartment.
(Valerie smiles and her eyes get wide.)
SCENE THIRTEEN
INT: Lawndale High auditorium.
(Quinn, the Three Js and about twenty other people sit on the stage. Mr. Paully, a balding man in his late forties, stands in front, giving instructions.)
Mr. Paully: I want to thank you all for coming out to join the drama club. I know it's not the most popular, but it is the most dramatic.
(He chuckles at his own joke. The students remain stone faced. He notices and stops, clearing his throat.)
Mr. Paully: Now, we'll be performing William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet". Are you all familiar with that play?
Class: (deadpan) Yes/Uh huh/Sure, etc.
Mr. Paully: Wonderful! I want the girls to form one group while the guys join another.
(The students disperse. Quinn looks like the most pumped-up there. She sits down in her group and turns to a bored-looking girl next to her.)
Quinn: I hope I get a good part. Not one of those small ones like Lady Capulet or Peter.
Girl: (rolling her eyes) You actually bothered to read the play?
(Quinn frowns. Mr. Paully comes over to their group.)
Mr. Paully: Who'd like to read first?
(Quinn glances around at her almost-dead peers and raises her hand.)
Mr. Paully: Great!
(He hands her a script.)
Mr. Paully: Why don't you read Juliet's lines at the balcony?
(Quinn clears her throat.)
Quinn: Romeo, oh, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny they father and refuse thy name. Or if thou whilst not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet.
(She looks up and sees Mr. Paully's bewildered expression.)
Quinn: It was bad, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Can I try again?
Mr. Paully: Yes, please do. Keep reading.
Quinn: Um, okay. (Reading) Tis but they name that is my enemy. Thou are thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand nor foot nor any part belonging to a man.
(Camera cuts to the guys' group. Joey's ears perk up.)
Joey: Hey, that's Quinn!
Jamie: You're right!
Jeffy: Wow. She's really good.
(Cuts back to Quinn.)
Quinn: So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name; and for that name which is not any part of thee, take all of myself!
(The guys erupt into applause, with the Three J's cheering loudly. Quinn looks surprised.)
Quinn: You like me? You really, really like me?
Mr. Paully: Quinn, I'd like you to play Juliet in our production.
Quinn: (at a loss for words) But…but you haven't heard anyone else yet.
Mr. Paully: I don't need to. You were wonderful.
Jeffy: Whoo! Go Quinn!
(Quinn blushes.)
Quinn: But who's playing Romeo?
The Three J's: Me!
Mr. Paully: (casually) Oh…uh, that blonde kid.
Jamie: Yes!
Jeffy: Hey, no fair.
Joey: Yeah!
Mr. Paully: The black-haired guy can be Tybalt and you (pointing to Jeffy)-
Jeffy: Me?
Mr. Paully: Yeah, you. You'll be Mercutio.
Jeffy: No!
(Joey snickers.)
Joey: Dude, you're gonna be a gay guy. (Member "Lucky Strike?")
Mr. Paully: I can see it now…
(He lifts his hands into the air to create an invisible marquee.)
Mr. Paully: Romeo and Juliet, starring Quinn and Jamil!
Jamie: It's Jamie.
Mr. Paully: Whatever. Come opening night, you'll be the next Julia Roberts, America's sweetheart!
Quinn: Ew! You mean you want me to stick a hanger in my mouth?
Mr. Paully: Uh…never mind. But you will bring glory to the name Lawndale High!
Jamie: (to Joey) Do you think he's related to Ms. Li?
(Quinn smiles. Shakira's "Ready for the Good Times" plays.)
ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK
SCREEN: Valerie glares at a cowering Jane as Shakira's song plays.
LEVI'S SUPERLOW JEANS: Am I the only one who gets annoyed by these ads? I mean, okay, so if we wear the pants we can sneak into a secret operation's headquarters and steal a car or dive underwater and hold our breath for five minutes? Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but I think they're about the dumbest commercials ever.
SORORITY LIFE: "On this episode of "Sorority Life", some more crap happens." Okay, I give you permission to kick me. I got hooked on this show one boring Saturday morning. I dunno why, but I like it. It's filmed at UC Davis, where my cousin attends classes. I get to visit her in October so I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe I'll see some of the places on the show. Anyway, I think it's pretty neat, but why is everyone so damn pretty? I mean, are we to believe that everyone there is super-model beautiful? It's false advertising if you ask me.
MTV ON VH1: Who the heck decided to do this? I mean, MTV is annoying enough on its own. We don't need it on three channels. I caught Pink's "Don't Let Me Get Me" on Making the Video last week. It's an old episode, I think, but it was so weird to see it on VH1. I thought VH1 was the only music channel that didn't play all crappy pop, rap and hip-hop.
WE'RE BACK WITH MORE DARIA…
SCENE FOURTEEN
INT: Another Raft classroom
(Daria shuffles in, a little late, an unhappy look on her face. The guy ahead of her has his back turned and opens the door for her.)
Guy: Here, go ahead.
(Daria looks up from the floor and we finally see his face. He's none other than David Sorenson, Quinn's former tutor.)
Daria: (not recognizing him) Uh, thanks.
David: Anytime.
(He smiles at her and sits down towards the middle of the room.)
Daria: (a little late) I…um…
(She blushes scarlet and sits down in one of the front row seats. Cue No Doubt's "Underneath It All", which plays in the next scene too.)
SCENE FIFTEEN
INT: Daria and Jane's apartment
MONTAGE: "Underneath It All" by No Doubt
(Since everything is still packed, the living room is bare. Jane stands in the middle of the room, forming a box with her fingers in front of her. Valerie stands to the side, eagerly gripping a paintbrush. After a moment, Jane gives Val a thumbs up. Both take their paintbrushes, dip them in the deep blue can of paint a couple feet away from Jane and pretty much attack the wall in a manic moment of inspiration, Val more so than Jane. Jane gives her a surprised and quizzical look. Val just blushes.)
(Cut to a while later, the wall is about one third painted. Jane sits on the floor, rubbing her aching hand. Val's face brightens up and she jumps from the floor, launching into a cheer. Jane's eyes go wide and she motions for Val to stop wildly, to no avail. Jane sighs and decides to grin and bear it.)
(Jane and Val continue painting. The walls are almost all the way covered in blue paint. As they paint, Jane gets a funny look on her face. She looks over at Val, who's singing the No Doubt song. Jane just shrugs, giving her a weird look, and goes back to painting.)
(A while after that- the walls are fully painted. Jane stands on the left side of the wall we can see the most [the one the couch will sit in front of], using a smaller brush to make intricate designs in yellow. She's in the middle of painting an abstract human figure when Val taps her shoulder. Jane looks over to where Val's pointing excitedly and shakes her head when she sees Val's childlike picture of a stick-figure cheerleader and the words "Go Raft Cavaliers!". She shakes her finger, as if saying "tsk tsk", and takes her big paintbrush dipped in blue. She holds it out to Val, who disappointedly takes it and paints over the words and cheerleader.)
END MONTAGE
(But No Doubt's song doesn't come to a halt until the next scene.)
SCENE SIXTEEN
INT: The living room
(Jane and Val stand in front of the wall, admiring it. A few twirls and figures grace Jane's side while stars are on Val's side. The last bit of the song fades.)
Jane: I think that's it for today.
Val: It looks really nice. Thanks for letting me help.
Jane: No problem. I'm always eager to take a student under my wing. And it's not finished either. Feel free to swing by whenever. We can add a little more every day.
Val: Thanks again. I can tell I'm gonna have a lot of free time.
Jane: Welcome to my world. Or is it my hell?
(Val smiles.)
Jane: Anyway, whadda ya say we give our brains a rest and watch some mindless TV?
Val: Sure! Um, would you mind if I made a suggestion?
Jane: As long as it doesn't have the words "girl", "creek" or "heaven" in the title, it's fine by me. The TV's in the hall.
(They walk into the hall and pick up the TV.)
Val: Well, the other cheerleaders never watched it. They said it was…icky.
Jane: (intrigued) Really? Why? Did someone with blonde hair wear black mascara?
Val: No. I mean, I don't think so. It's kind of a tabloid show.
(They set the TV down in the living room. Val plugs it in and Jane grabs to remote and turns it on. The screen is filled with snow. Jane frowns and heads back over to adjust the antenna.)
Jane: You wouldn't be talking about-
(The screen flickers and the picture becomes clear. A woman in a suit stands in front of a black backdrop. The "X-Files" theme plays.)
Woman: In the mood for more than just the same old paranormal crap all the other channels play? Want to know the real truth? Then watch the Sick Sad World marathon, next on Channel 6, Boston's Best.
(Val's eyes are glued to the screen. She takes a step back and tries to sit down, expecting the couch to be there. She plops down on her butt. Jane smirks.)
Jane: The couch is still in the hall, genius.
Val: (sheepish) Oh yeah.
SCENE SEVENTEEN
EXT: Morgendorffer house
Quinn: You're not gonna believe this!
INT: The kitchen.
(Quinn walks into the kitchen where Jake is stirring boiling water in a large pot. Helen's standing off to the side, talking to Eric on her cell phone.)
Helen: Can it wait, sweetie? I'm in the middle of an important phone call. (A bt.) No, Eric, there's no one else trying to call. (A bt.) No, I didn't call you sweetie. (A bt.) Well, of course we're good enough friends for me to call you sweetie.
(She laughs. Quinn rolls her eyes in typical "ugh, Mom" fashion. Jake glares.)
Jake: She never calls me sweetie, dammit!
Quinn: Da-ad, watch whatever it is you're cooking!
Jake: Ack! Sorry, honey.
(He turns the stove down and goes back to stirring.)
Jake: So how was school? Did you have fun with your little model club today?
Quinn: It's the Fashion Club, Dad. Fahh- shun club. And the club dissolved before summer.
Jake: Oops. Well, you know how it is when you get older. Sometimes you get so wise, all the other things you knew just kind of leave your mind.
Quinn: Yeah, that's great, Dad. But I have an important announcement.
(She takes a deep breath for effect. The camera focuses on her.)
Quinn: I joined the drama club and they-
Helen: He said what?! Eric, you're joking, right?
(Quinn sighs.)
Quinn: Mr. Paully, the drama teacher, decided to make me-
Jake: Ow!
(Camera zooms out to reveal a lobster clenched onto Jake's finger. Jake's waving it around wildly. The struggle goes on for a moment before it lands in the pot.)
Jake: Damn lobster…
(He looks at his red finger and sticks it in his mouth.)
Jake: If you're not supposed to remove the rubber bands, why isn't there a warning on them? Damn grocery store workers…
(Quinn sighs again, frustrated.)
Quinn: (loudly) I've been chosen to play Juliet in the school's production of Romeo and Juliet!
Jake: Wow! That's great, honey!
(He looks down and sees the lobster attempting to crawl out of the pot. He hits it with his spoon, knocking it back in. He then shuts the lid.)
Jake: (grumbling) Damn grocery store workers with their damn lobsters without any damn warning labels…
Quinn: Dad, lobsters are so gross. They're all messy and besides, they scream when you cook them. If that's not inhumane, I don't know what is.
Jake: They scream? How come I've never heard one?
Quinn: You've never heard it? Ooh, it's disgusting. Tiffany's dad was cooking one and it screamed so loud, her mom came running in, asking if we were watching a slasher movie, which is totally retro. I mean, why would we want to see B-actresses running around getting chopped up? It's, like, ew.
(Quinn shudders.)
Jake: (Angry, going red-faced) Dammit, no lobster's going to scream for old Jakey. Oh no, Jake Morgendorffer's not good enough for your pitiful cries. Just like I wasn't good enough to be a normal kid. Well, I've got news for you, Dad, I am normal, dammit!
Quinn: Da-ad, remember? High blood pressure?
Jake: That lobster's gonna have high blood pressure when I'm done with it! I'll make you scream!
(He opens the pot and reaches in to grab the lobster. He sticks his hand in the water and screams, burning his hand. Quinn leans her head on her hand and sighs.)
SCENE EIGHTEEN
INT: Daria and Jane's apartment that night
(Daria comes in through the main door, looking tired. The White Stripes' "Fell In Love With a Girl" plays. She sets her backpack down in the hall and clomps into the living room where Jane and Val are watching "Sick, Sad World." Camera focuses on the screen.)
SSW Announcer: Are rock stars really blood-sucking vampires hell-bent on making teens mindless zombies?
(On screen, backstage at a concert, the members of Blink 182 pounce on a fan with a VIP pass around his neck. The fan screams and struggles for a moment, but they overpower him, going for his neck. Screen switches to "Sick, Sad World" logo.)
SSW Announcer: Alanis assaults her fans…next on "Sick, Sad World!"
Daria: (standing in the doorframe to the living room) Well, that's a first.
(Jane and Val turn around, now noticing her.)
Jane: Hey, Daria. I wasn't sure when your classes ended.
Daria: Just a little while ago. (looking oddly at Val) Uh, don't mind me, but what the hell is a cheerleader doing in here?
Jane: Oh, you mean the no cheerleaders rule was already in effect?
Val: I'm not really a cheerleader. Not anymore, anyway.
Jane: Her squad kicked her out. (whispering) She has a zit.
Daria: They kicked her out for that?!
Jane: Yeah, apparently, college sucks even worse than high school.
Daria: I already figured that one out earlier.
Jane: Bad day?
Daria: That's putting it lightly.
(She walks into the adjoining kitchen and is about the open the fridge.)
Jane: Oh, I never actually got around to buying anything besides paint. Wanna go out for a pie?
Daria: Does Quinn hang out with the Fashion Fiends?
(Jane rolls her eyes and turns to Val.)
Jane: Hey, Valerie. Daria and I are gonna go grab a pizza. You wanna come?
Val: (glued to the TV) Who's Daria?
(Daria and Jane share a look.)
SCENE NINETEEN
INT: Junior 5
(Sandi, Tiffany and Stacy are browsing the racks, pulling random items off.)
Sandi: This is so much nicer without Quinn here to criticize us.
Tiffany: Uh, Sandi…
Stacy: Quinn never criticizes us. You do.
Sandi: Geez. Gang up on me, why don't you?
Stacy: We're not ganging up on you.
Tiffany: We were just saying that Quinn-
Sandi: Yes, yes I heard. Well, I'm sure Quinn's having fun with her little geek foray.
Stacy: Why did you change your mind about her joining the drama club anyway, Sandi?
Tiffany: Yeah. The drama club is like…ew.
Sandi: Don't you guys see- it'll make Quinn look geeky.
Stacy: I still haven't figured out how that's a good thing.
Sandi: Look, Quinn's the most popular girl in school, right?
Tiffany: Even more popular than me?
Sandi: Yes, Tiffany.
Tiffany: I can't believe it.
Sandi: If Quinn becomes a geek, then who do you think will be the most popular?
(Stacy and Tiffany look thoughtful for a moment.)
Stacy: Um…us?
Sandi: That's right, Stacy. With Quinn out of the way, we'll be the ones getting the most attention at Lawndale.
Tiffany: Whoa.
Stacy: So you told Quinn to join so you could elevate yourself?
Sandi: Insidious, isn't it?
Stacy: Sandi, that's not a very nice thing to do.
Sandi: So?
Stacy: I can't believe you'd take advantage of a fellow former Fashion Club member. It's so…so…mean.
Tiffany: Yeah. Sandi, tsk.
Sandi: See, you are ganging up on me!
Tiffany: What?
Stacy: Well, Sandi, if you're going to treat Quinn like that, maybe we should.
(Sandi's jaw drops, shocked at Stacy's rare show of assertiveness.)
Sandi: Excuse me?
Stacy: I said, if you think it's okay to trash Quinn like that, maybe Tiffany and I should gang up on you.
Tiffany: Stacy, I didn't agree to that.
Stacy: Well, you should. It's just not right what Sandi did to Quinn.
Sandi: Geez, Stacy. If you're going all weird on us. I thought we were friends.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Stacy: I thought so too. But friends don't trash other friends. As far as I'm concerned, you can keep your stupid friendship, Sandi!
(Stacy tosses a dress at Sandi and storms off.)
Sandi: I've never seen Stacy act like that.
Tiffany: It's probably her time.
SCENE TWENTY
INT: The diner.
(Daria, Jane and Val are seated at a booth. Daria's still a bit uncomfortable about Valerie being a cheerleader and sitting with them. Jane shoots her a reassuring smile as they sip on sodas and share a pie.)
Daria: So then, Professor Brown gets all bitchy at me just because I know the answers and no one else does.
Val: Yeah, she can be that way sometimes. I remember last year when I told her my name was Valerie and not Nellie. She screamed at me and mad me cry.
Daria: (eyebrow raised) You took the Edgar Allan Poe class?
Jane: Valerie's here on a scholarship. The cheerleader thing's just an act.
Valerie: Actually, she teaches a poetry class too.
Jane: You're kidding. Is there nothing this witch can't do?
(Daria shoots her a look. Jane gives her an apologetic glance.)
Jane: So, besides the first teacher, was there any upside to this day?
Daria: Well…there was this one guy.
Jane: Ooh, a guy.
(Daria rolls her eyes.)
Daria: Don't read anything into it. He's in my Russian History class. I was kinda late for class and he held the door open for me.
Jane: Did you get his name?
Daria: No. What do I look like? Quinn?
(Silence.)
Daria: Don't answer that.
Jane: (smirking) Daria, you and Quinn are as different as the movies "Ben-Hur" and "American Pie."
Daria: You've seen them?
Jane: Remember when the house was sprayed for roaches during the summer? Trent and I stayed at Jesse's. His family has cable.
Daria: Well, that certainly makes up for the bugs in the shower.
Jane: I'll say it does. A whole week of sexy teen movies for free while Spiral "practiced" is way better than sitting around, waiting to be inspired. The movies actually did that for me.
Daria: I'm not even gonna ask.
Jane: But seriously, Daria, did he smile at you?
Daria: Um…
Jane: (raising an eyebrow) Daria?
Daria: (quietly) I think so.
Jane: And you're sure you wore a bra to school today?
Daria: Jane!
Jane: Daria, I think this guy's into you. Either that or he's an incredibly friendly, nice guy who just happens to like opening the door for every other lower classman.
Daria: Well, I'm placing my bets on the latter.
Val: (who's been listening intently) Jane's right, Daria.
Daria: Excuse me?
Val: I'm sorry to butt in, but I know Raft guys. They don't just "offer their services" to anyone.
Daria: Look, you wouldn't want me discussing your love life. I'm just asking you to grant me the same privilege.
Val: Sorry. I'm just a meddler.
Daria: I noticed.
(Val stands up.)
Val: You know, I think I have a paper to work on. I'll see you guys later.
(She half-smiles and heads out the door.)
Jane: Gee, Daria, could you be anymore friendly?
(Daria frowns and stares down at her plate. Linkin Park's "In the End" plays.)
SCENE TWENTY-ONE
INT: Quinn's room.
(Quinn is lying on her bed, stretched out with a bored look on her face. Several [gasp!] school books sit on the floor by her backpack and binder. The clock on her nightstand reads 9:50. After a moment, she sighs and picks up the phone.)
SCENE TWENTY-TWO
INT: Daria's room in the apartment.
(Daria sits at her now unpacked desk, reading "War and Peace." There comes a knock at the door.)
Daria: No one's here.
(Jane opens the door, holding a cordless phone.)
Jane: Somebody wants to talk to you.
(Daria looks surprised, but gets up and grabs the phone.)
Daria: Hello?
(Screen splits to show Quinn on the other end of the line.)
Quinn: (uncomfortable) Uh, hey, Daria.
Daria: Quinn?
Quinn: Why are you so surprised?
Daria: Probably because for the past three years you've been calling me your distant cousin.
Quinn: Geez, Daria. Who twisted your panties in a knot?
(Daria sighs.)
Daria: I never thought I'd say this to you, Quinn, but I'm sorry.
Quinn: (confused) For what?
(Daria raises an eyebrow.)
Daria: Uh…never mind. So, how's life with the Oblongs?
Quinn: Mom's on the phone with Eric all the time and Dad's trying to make a lobster scream. The usual.
Daria: I figured. I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but…anything new with you?
Quinn: Yeah. I joined the drama club.
(Daria's eyes go wide.)
Daria: Excuse me- did you just use the words "drama club" and "I" in the same sentence?
Quinn: Don't act so surprised, Daria. I mean, god, I was only in the Fashion Club for three years.
Daria: Why exactly did you join the drama club, anyway? There wasn't some hidden fashion drone motive, was there?
Quinn: Okay, I'll admit I did it at first to get back at Sandi, but Mr. Paully says I have a knack for this kind of thing. He already cast me as Juliet in the play. It's kind of…um, neat to be exposed to new stuff. I mean, if we just did the same junk every day for the rest of our life and were really closed minded, where would we be? We have to be open to new things…
(She freezes up, knowing she's just spilled a lot to her sister. Daria gets a guilty look on her face.)
Quinn: I mean, that's what I'm told.
Daria: Um, Quinn…not that I don't find this incredibly fascinating, but I have to go.
Quinn: Oh. Okay, Daria. Uh, see ya.
Daria: Bye.
(She hangs up the phone. Screen reverts to normal. Daria sits for a moment, thinking. She picks up a piece of paper from her desk and dials a number.)
Daria: Hello? Valerie?
SCENE TWENTY-THREE
INT: Quinn's bedroom, a few minutes later.
(Quinn is in her pajamas, just about to turn off the light when her phone rings. She picks it up.)
Quinn: Hello?
(Screen splits so we can see Stacy on the other line.)
Stacy: Hey, Quinn.
Quinn: Hi Stacy. What's up?
Stacy: Nothing much…listen, Quinn. I, erm…
(She mumbles something.)
Quinn: You what?
Stacy: I wanted to join the drama club.
(Quinn smiles as Jump 5's "Spinnin' Around" starts to play.)
SCENE TWENTY-FOUR
INT: Daria's room.
(Daria sits at her desk, writing a letter.)
Daria: (VO) Dear Mom, Dad and Quinn, you asked me to write every week, so I figured I may as well get started early. Today was my first day at Raft College and my first impression was that it was a hellhole worse than Lawndale. However, for once in my life, it seems I stand corrected. Jane's already made friends with an ex-cheerleader- I know. I couldn't believe it either. She's started painting the extremely dull walls already, trading in their off-white milky color for midnight blue. While one of my professors doesn't meet my expectations, my British Tragedies teacher excels in my book and someone even noticed me today. Valerie, the cheerleader, is actually the opposite of what I picture cheerleaders to be, for the most part. She's here on a scholarship, so she has to have at least a few brain cells in her head. The only thing wrong was…well, me. I kinda acted like a…rhymes with work…to her. I admitted it and I feel a little better, as hard as that is to believe. I guess sometimes not being so judgmental is a good thing. But don't expect me to think that way forever. See you in a few months, Daria.
(Daria signs her name and smiles her little half-smile.)
ROLL END CREDITS (To the Counting Crows' "American Girls.")
THE END
Whew! That took a while! Anyway, I don't feel like writing a really long reflection on this chapter. I just wanna say that this wasn't a very fun chapter to write. I'm pretty much kicking myself now for introducing Josie and Valerie (Get it?). But trust me, they won't become Mary Sue characters. They're just scenery. However, a couple overlooked characters will come to light. Well, one is over-used in Jane fiction, but she'll be different here. Anyways, time for thank yous!
Thanks to…
Kara Wild for inspiring me and letting me use her commercial hell idea.
Jamie for being the best beta reader and freakin' friend ever.
Jimmy Fallon for being so goddamn funny. Listening to his CD inspired me to finish this. Don't ask why. J
Look for "Jane and the Pussycat", out soon!