CHAPTER 9: MARIEL
Now, for my brilliant plan. This plan is the beginning of my present situation. You came in here to find me absolutely miserable. I know, and partly agree with what you must be thinking; it takes a real genius to come up with a solution like running away.
I did not up and leave that day. It was actually a few weeks later that I fled. I was made to see Ajaht more often as time wore on. He wasn't that bad, he was very civil to me, appollogzing for the first time we had met and so on. It was when I thought about being with him for the rest of my life that I got snappy and defensive. Then he would say uncordail things like you observed on our first encounter. Remarks like those just rubbed my fur the wrong way.
You have to give me credit for that. I stayed that long for my parents, but after seeing Ajaht for the third time in a week, I could tolerate him no more. You see, as nice as could bear to be to me, Ajaht was only interested in one thing. The word humans use for it is "pussy," I think. It's not like you can correct me if I'm wrong anyway. Marriage, for men in our society, is a license for it. It's more of a legal contract than a written declaration of love. In our culture, marriage is to unite old friend's families, improve social standings, and to repay those you are in debt to if they have sons.
I was not interested in anything about him or improving myself in some way or another. So now, here I am…in the woods…in the rain…all alone. Kind of cliché isn't it. And to top it all off, I had no idea in which direction I was going!
Might as well move on, I thought. So I trudged on. If I am lucky, I won't get caught and be taken to a shelter for mindless vagabonds.
As it turned out, I was very lucky. If you can call it luck. I have been journeying for a few days now. I am exhausted, sore, and extremely hungry. Grass does not grow well in the shade of trees and I wouldn't risk my escape and the distance that I had gotten so far for a few steps of grass. It was very likely that some one would find, and chase me off of their property. Then I would be a thief and a run-away. People don't take kindly to blemishes like what I was now. They are appalled by the disgustingly downtrodden and pursued even the most insignificant transgressions when one of them was involved. I had turned tail to them myself, but that seemed long ago.
Believe it or not, I am not a heartless bitch, so I did leave my parents a note telling them how I felt and that I might be back someday, and any other comforting words I could offer. I felt the disappointment they would feel about my absence was a fair trade for the freedom of my soul.
I had decided before I left that I would not turn to my friends for anything, because that's where most people make their first, and only mistake. Not to say that friends will always give away secrets like this, but I just mean that they usually get concerned and tell with your best interests in mind.
But not me, I was smarter than that. That's why I'm freezing in the loom of nightfall. It was fun to be master of my destiny for a while, and then it always got dark.