A/N: This chapter eventually gets to be more emotional than most of the chapters that I've written for this story so far. There is also a good bit of citrus in the first half of the chapter, but nothing really graphic or lemony, since I doubt that anyone would really want to read a Master Roshi lemon. However, there had to be some action between Roshi and his new amour eventually, so I just added a few drops of lime.
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Chapter Eight: Be Careful For What You Wish For, Master Roshi
The next morning…
"Heck, for an old man, I don't look so bad! In fact, I don't look so bad at all!" Roshi told himself happily, as he strutted around in front of a full-length mirror. He flexed his muscles and puffed out his chest, posing and modeling in the privacy of his bedroom. The only garment he wore was a faux fur leopard-print loincloth draped around his waist. He was fantasizing that he was Tarzan, and he even did a few Tarzan yells until Oolong came banging on his door, demanding that he cut it off.
He continued to twirl in front of his mirror flexing and flashing his still-firm muscles. He was feeling confident at this moment, despite Oolong's earlier interruption of his fantasy play. "Oh, why if Bulma could see me like this, she'd dump Vegeta in a heartbeat and come running to me!" he whispered to himself. "Hey, why even Vegeta would cringe, knowing that I look like this!" (Of course, Vegeta would have cringed, but not for the reasons that Roshi thought that the Saiyan prince would.)
Roshi still fantasized about Bulma every now and then, but his daydreams about her were becoming less and less frequent. More often now, it was Candy who occupied his thoughts, and his desire for the former doll grew more and more every day. She did let him see her nude before, especially during their water sports in the ocean, and strangely enough, Roshi hadn't had a nosebleed past the first time that he had seen her naked. It was bizarre, he knew, but Candy so far in so many years had been the only woman whom he could view completely in the buff and not have his nose burst with blood.
He remembered the very first time months ago that Candy had allowed him to see the glory of her light-colored body. It was the beginning of their first time skinny-dipping in the ocean, and he and Candy had been alone, sitting on a red-and-white striped, oversized beach towel on the sand beforehand. Roshi had only been wearing a pair of blue and green Hawaiian-print swim shorts. Candy had casually started to untie the strings on her bikini, and Roshi had begun to panic.
"What's wrong, Roshi?" Candy had laughed merrily. "Haven't you ever seen a nude woman before?" (This was before Candy had learned of Roshi's porn collection.)
"Yes, er, I mean, no, well, yes, well I don't want to lie to you, Candy…but…" Roshi stammered and stuttered before he could tell her of his "condition". Candy had stroked his balding head and encouraged him to talk to her.
"Tell me, Roshi, why are you so reluctant to see me au naturel?" Candy had asked, softly, kindly.
Roshi, deeply ashamed, had reluctantly told her about his inability to view real-life nudity without his nose bleeding. That and his lasciviousness had kept him from the few real relationships with women that had been open to him throughout the many years of his life. Instead of mocking him, as he feared that she would, Candy said gently, "Roshi, I'll tell you what: why don't we go slowly with our nudity? If I were to strip slowly, would it help?"
"We-we could try it," Roshi said nervously. Candy smiled, and she began to reach behind her back to untie her bikini strings once more. Roshi held his nose cautiously, as Candy slowly slid off her top, as if doing a striptease. Roshi began to tremble, both with fear and delight, as Candy easily allowed her bikini top to fall away from the perfect mounds on her body.
"Easy, Roshi," Candy had told him smoothly, as she crawled over closer to him, allowing him to have a full view of her twin beauties. Roshi panted heavily, still holding his nose, hoping that he wouldn't bleed all over Candy and himself.
After a few tense minutes of holding his nose while Candy held up her shapely bosom in front of him, the pressure in Roshi's nose began to ease, and it no longer felt, as if it had to bleed. Candy gently pulled Roshi's hand away from his nose, and then she leaned over and kissed him softly on his lips, with her full chest brushing against his. Roshi shivered with joy, as Candy pressed herself against him; it had been a long time since he had felt a woman's unclothed body against his chest. He then dared to embrace her, as Candy slid off her bikini bottom slowly. Roshi became excited, but then Candy slowly, reluctantly began to slide her bikini bottom back on. She kissed him more firmly, and then she had left to put her bikini top back on.
"I can't tempt you too much, my Roshi," she had told him kindly. "It's too soon for us to go that far yet. I just wanted you to get used to seeing me this way."
Roshi, of course, had been disappointed that things wouldn't go any further that day, but at least afterwards, he could view Candy in the buff without his nose ruining the moment. In fact, Candy was the only woman that he could view in the nude without his nose causing him trouble and bleeding.
Ah, how could he seduce her? It had been close to six months since they had met, and they were nowhere closer to going to bed together. Roshi then sat down on the edge of his bed, sighing heavily. He was almost certain that he loved Candy, and he did want to make love to her. Would Candy ever allow him to make her his woman?
His heart felt heavy, as if it wanted to sink into his feet, and he looked down into his lap at the faux fur loincloth on his waist. He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear a soft footfall enter the room, nor he did he feel one side of the bed descend under the weight of a female. It was only when he felt slender feminine fingers run along his shoulder that he knew that someone, someone special, had entered the room.
"Roshi?"
Roshi looked hopefully at the object of his affections, as she nuzzled his throat. "Candy?" he asked hesitantly.
Candy slowly slid herself into his lap, pressing her soft, sculpted body against his bare chest, as she began kissing his neck and tracing the muscles along his chest.
"Roshi, darling, do you have any plans for this afternoon?"
Roshi stammered nervously, "Well, I did have a few plans-"
"Cancel them," she said firmly, authoritatively. She began to push him down on the bed, with her perfect body resting upon his.
Roshi chuckled wickedly, as he wrapped his arms around her. He wasn't about to disobey her at this point. He shivered with hope and delight, as Candy got off of him and stood up, doing a slow striptease. Roshi's eyes bulged as she easily slid off a purple strapless dress, and his eyes bulged even wider when he realized that she wore nothing underneath.
"Ahhh!" Roshi sighed happily, as Candy descended upon him, her nude body pressing against his. She guided Roshi's hands all over her body, as she kissed him everywhere.
With her help, Roshi had his loincloth off within seconds, but Candy insisted on being the one in control this time. "Next time you can take charge," she whispered boldly to him, as she threw back the covers and slid under them. Roshi didn't hesitate to climb under the covers with her. He and Candy embraced passionately, pressing themselves against each other, kissing each other everywhere, from each other's lips to their faces, to their necks and down below…
"I've been wanting you for a while like this," Candy admitted breathlessly.
"You've been well worth the wait," Roshi sighed happily, as he and his new lover continued further with their lovemaking under the covers.
What followed afterwards would be a sweet expression of love and satisfaction between an aged man and a younger, eager woman who were starting to care deeply for each other. Whatever differences they had didn't matter at this time, as Roshi took Candy into his arms, and Candy began the long-awaited process of giving herself to him completely…
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Two hours later…
Candy was resting her silken red head upon Roshi's bare chest, as she snuggled up against his body contentedly. She kissed his chest, as she stroked the rest of it. No matter what other females had to say about Roshi, he had been more than satisfactory a lover, at least in her eyes. Roshi had been very eager, almost like a teenager, but Candy had convinced him to take things slowly in bed. He had been gentle with her, yet very passionate and bold later on. The former fashion doll had happily reciprocated his advances, and they had spent a wonderful time in bed together; all had went very well for their first time together.
Candy grinned to herself, as she cuddled against her Roshi closer. She could definitely tell Juuhachigou tomorrow that Roshi had been able to "get it up" after all. In fact, he had been able to do more than even that…
Roshi's snoring was like the peaceful rumble of ocean waves to Candy's ears, as she felt his chest rise up and down beneath her cheek. She then stretched herself up until she was in front of his face, with her lips close to his. She kissed him quickly, yet firmly.
"I love you, Roshi."
And with a sleepy yawn, Candy fell asleep on her beloved's chest.
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A few days later…
Candy and Roshi had only left Roshi's bedroom just long enough to get lunch and to get a robe for Candy. Everyone strongly suspected what Candy and Roshi had been up to, but no one had said a word for hours, even though the newly mated couple had strolled around the house in their robes. Oolong had snickered and joked to Umigame and Krillin that "the old man finally got some", but Umigame sharply reprimanded the pig, telling him not to be so crude. Krillin and Juuhachigou had been enormously embarrassed to see Roshi strutting around the house with a grin on his face, but deep down they were happy for Roshi and his new amour.
Now three days later, Candy and Roshi were back in the bedroom, having decided to go for another round. Standing on the floor, Roshi growled ferociously like a tiger, as he eagerly walked towards Candy, ready to claim her again. But when he slid his arms around the trim waist of his mate, Candy's expression was one of misery and dismay. She was also unusually anxious to get to the bathroom as soon as possible.
"Candy, what's wrong? Didn't I make you happy?" Roshi asked worriedly.
"Of course you did, Roshi, but it's just that-"
"Just that what?" Roshi wailed. "Candy, if I did anything wrong, I'll be happy to make up for whatever it was that I did-"
"You can't make up for this, Roshi. In fact, there's nothing that you can do to solve this."
Roshi was in despair at this point. "But what's going on, Candy? What's so bad that I can't help to make it better?"
"It's not bad…it's just…well, we can't do much else today."
"Why's that?" Roshi asked worriedly. "Did something happen?"
"Yes," Candy told him honestly. "Something did happen."
"And it's going to ruin our moment?"
"Unfortunately."
Roshi laughed. "Now Candy, what could have happened that would stop us from having some more fun?"
Candy looked more miserable than ever, but there was nothing that she could do. Not even Roshi could help.
"Well, my dear?"
Candy said wearily, "My period started."
BOOM! CRASH!
Within seconds, Roshi's body had collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
"Roshi? Roshi?"
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Two days later, in Roshi's bedroom…
Roshi had tried to hold off as long as he could, but not being able to make love to his sweetheart was starting to wear on him.
And Candy was one of those women who had her "time of month" for four days or more. She and Roshi had kissed, cuddled, and fooled around in bed, but they had not been able to do much more beyond that. To keep temptation at bay, Candy had insisted on keeping her underwear on, and she had asked Roshi to do the same. Roshi had tried to be as patient as possible, but to him, Candy was like the most succulent, rich, creamy German chocolate cake in the world; he couldn't stop after one taste.
And today, Candy had decided to go shopping at the Satan City Mall with Juuhachigou and Marron. Krillin and Oolong had gone to visit the Son family, and Umigame had gone beneath the ocean surface to visit his cousins. Roshi had the house to himself, and he was growing very frustrated, not having any way of relieving the sexual tension that was building up deep within him.
And since Candy wasn't around, there was only one thing that Roshi could do to calm himself down, the one thing that had seen him through many, many, MANY, days and nights with no female companionship: his beloved porn collection.
Roshi casually leapt off of his bed to look under it for his most current porn magazines that he had received within the past two weeks. But when he looked under the bed, he discovered to his horror that his porn magazines were missing!
"OOLONG!" he shouted. "I'm going to strangle you! I told you before about taking my mags without asking me first!"
He hurried out of his bedroom and ran down the hallway to Oolong's room. After an hour of digging around in his friend's bedroom, Roshi was only able to find what magazines that he had given Oolong to keep in the past, but not the new ones that he had so eagerly wanted.
After putting Oolong's room back together, Roshi left and wandered around the house worriedly, wondering what could have happened to his new magazines. Who else other than Oolong would have wanted his magazines? Umigame thought they were trash, and the turtle had never touched them in the past; Umigame was unnerved around scantily clad human females as it was.
Krillin would have been too uncomfortable with even looking at the naked pictures of other women in those books; even if the former monk had wanted to peek at the books, Juuhachigou would have had a fit if he had even attempted to try it. Roshi remembered that Krillin had bribed him with porn magazines when Krillin had been a small boy trying to convince a younger Roshi to train him along with Goku. But Krillin later confessed that he had never once looked in those magazines; he had only brought them to Roshi because he had heard that the once-famous martial-artist had the world's largest porn collection, and he thought that he could convince Roshi to train him if he gave Roshi the magazines.
Could Krillin's wife have possibly confiscated them and hidden them or thrown them away, so that Marron wouldn't see the pictures in them? No, he and Juuhachigou had a standing verbal agreement: if Roshi would keep his girlie magazines out of Marron's reach and view, Juuhachigou would not touch any of them. So far, as far as he knew, that agreement hadn't been violated. But what if it had?
Roshi was pondering this, as he trudged up to the attic to look at his older magazines. Ah, well, he could always look at the 1980 Holiday Issue of Sweet Cheeks magazine, one of his favorite older magazines. He was drooling, dreaming of Sweet Cheeks' Miss Merry Christmas of 1980; Miss Merry Christmas of that year sure had back then looked like Candy did now.
Roshi daydreamed of Candy dressed as Angelique Frost, the Miss Merry Christmas of 1980, had been in a red velvet bikini top and bottom set that was trimmed with white faux fur. He'd buy Candy the exact same outfit as Miss Frost had worn that year…she'd look yummier than ever! Roshi grinned giddily at that thought, as he opened the door to his attic, feeling much happier now.
But his happy expression melted into one of horror and dismay immediately when he entered the attic-and found the numerous boxes of his porno stash gone!
Roshi screamed, as he ran frantically throughout the attic, trying to find his pornography. All of the boxes of his magazines, many decades of magazines, were missing. And he couldn't find all of his new ones at all.
After an excruciating hour of searching throughout his house for any porn magazine, the old man realized that he would have to give up. Someone had robbed his house while it had been empty; that just had to be it!
He went outside on the front porch, sat down on the doorstep and began to weep uncontrollably. What sort of deranged creature would want to take away his favorite possessions, a bright spot in his life besides Candy?
Who would want to do this to him?
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The "deranged creature" was trying on a silk white strapless sundress with frilly ruffles on the skirt, twirling and posing in the dressing room. Juuhachigou was in the next stall over, admiring herself in a smart, pale pink suit with a suit jacket that was scalloped along the edges.
Candy, deciding that she would get the new sundress, called out to Juuhachigou, "Remember a month ago when you said that you would be happy if those awful girlie mags that Roshi had would disappear?"
"Yeah," Juuhachigou admitted, deciding that she would buy the suit that she was wearing. "What about them?"
"Well, you won't have to worry about Marron looking at those pictures anymore," Candy informed her friend brightly.
"How so?" Juuhachigou asked her, changing back into her old clothes. She had learned about the incident of Marron, Trunks, and Goten discovering Roshi's pornography stash in the attic, and she hadn't been happy about it. The android had realized that it wasn't Roshi's fault that the children had found the magazines, but she had told him about and insisted that he lock up the attic. Roshi had done so immediately without even looking in the room. Juuhachigou had warned Marron never to look at those books again, and both Trunks and Goten had been grounded indefinitely by their mothers. Vegeta had forced Trunks to undergo extra training as additional punishment.
"Well, I decided to clean house and dispose of all of them!" Candy said proudly. "I know that Roshi won't be happy about that, but-"
"You threw out his magazines?" Juuhachigou exclaimed. "Candy, I understand how we feel about those awful things, but that was going too far! Even I wouldn't have done that unless Roshi kept leaving them out for Marron to find. I don't like those magazines any more than you do, but you threw away someone's property! And it's Roshi's house, so he can keep what he wants in it. Roshi is going to go ballistic when he finds out!"
"He doesn't need them anymore," Candy protested. "He has me. I don't like that he has to look over a bunch of naked women doing awful things in awful magazines when he has me now! I feel like he's being unfaithful every time he looks at those books; it's like that I'm not enough for him! What if he thinks about them when we're together? What if he finds those girls prettier than me? What if he finds a woman who looks like one of them one day and decides he would rather have her than me? Every time he picks up a porn mag, I feel like he desires another woman! I've looked at those nasty books before, Juuhachigou, and all of those ladies have curvier bodies, prettier faces, bigger breasts, nicer butts, and it just brings me down to see them!"
Candy had now collapsed into tears. Hearing her sobs, Juuhachigou quietly left her stall, now dressed in her old clothes again, and knocked on the door of Candy's stall. A sobbing Candy opened the door, with tears running down her face, and Juuhachigou pitied her. The android could sympathize with her; she had felt the same way the first time that she had learned of Krillin's ex-girlfriend, Maron. Juuhachigou had secretly wondered if Krillin could ever love her as much as he had Maron, and it had taken her some time for her to see that she was Krillin's true love.
It wasn't in her nature normally to be affectionate with anyone other than Krillin and Marron, but Juuhachigou felt sorry for Candy, so she drew the girl into her arms and hugged her. Candy wept on Juuhachigou's shoulder, and the android patted her back.
"Hey, take it easy," she told Candy. "It's not the end of the world. Just tell Roshi the truth and how you feel about those magazines. Maybe he'll cut down on reading them, if nothing else. It'll be okay; Roshi thinks the world of you, and he'll get over it."
Candy sniffled and nodded. When she had calmed down considerably, Marron came out of her stall, wearing a cute red sundress with straps and yellow suns on the fabric. Marron was also wearing a little red pillbox hat that was trimmed with silk pink daisies. On her feet was a pair of white patent leather Mary Janes.
"How do I look?" she asked happily.
"Beautiful," Juuhachigou told her with a smile.
"Precious, just precious," Candy gushed, as Marron twirled around to model herself before her and Juuhachigou.
"I want a little girl someday," Candy whispered. "Or even a little boy…as long as the child is Roshi's, either one would be fine with me."
Juuhachigou only smiled, as she beckoned Marron to come closer, so she could see the price tag attached to her daughter's garment. The android winced at the high price of the outfit, but she agreed to let Marron have it anyway.
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That evening…
"Okay, everyone, we are having a household meeting," Roshi declared, as he turned the television off.
All the Kame House occupants in the bedroom knew that Roshi was serious then, for the old man had turned off the set in the middle of his favorite evening women's aerobics program.
"What's wrong, Master Roshi?" Umigame asked worriedly.
"My porn stash is missing," Roshi said curtly. "Does anyone know what happened to it?"
"What about the stash in the attic?" Oolong asked.
"Gone, and my new ones are too," Roshi said, now mournfully. "I think that someone must have broken into our house and stolen them."
"No one broke into your house, Roshi," Candy said quietly.
"Why do you say that, Candy?" Oolong wanted to know.
"The magazines weren't stolen; they were thrown away," Candy said softly with her red head hung down.
"THROWN AWAY? Who would throw away my magazines?" Roshi fumed.
"I would," Candy said, her voice very low. "I disposed of them some time back. I threw them out the last time that the garbage barge came."
Roshi looked at her, devastated. "Candy," he whispered hoarsely. "Why? How could you do such a thing?"
"Because I thought that they were a bad influence on Marron and the other kids…and because I was jealous of them, of those women in those magazines. I thought that you would be better off without them-"
"Better off without them?" Roshi fumed, agitated. He was normally not one to get angry easily, but his porn stash had been thrown out! How could Candy do this to him? "Those magazines were mine, Candy, mine! You had no right to throw them out! I spent many years saving up all those mags; most of them cannot be replaced! I had magazines, older issues that were worth money! How could you do this to me?"
"Roshi, I am sorry," Candy whispered tearfully. "I was just so jealous of those women in those books; I know now that it was silly for me to be, but-"
"Jealous! You threw out my magazines because you were jealous of the women in them! Candy, your jealousy has gone too far! I found it flattering at first, but now this is ridiculous! Those women are models, Candy! What is the big deal about the women in those mags? It's not as if I'm having an affair with any of them; all I am doing is looking! Who did you think you were, throwing my magazines out like that? And I bet that you threw out the new magazines too, didn't you?"
Candy nodded, ashamed.
"Why, Candy, why?" Roshi hissed, furious. "You were acting as if those girls in those books could actually take your place! You acted as if those girls were real-life rivals-"
"To me they are!" Candy screamed, standing up. She now was angry herself. "I thought that I meant something to you, Roshi! I've done everything with you and for you, and still you look at other women and those awful magazines! Well, you know what, I'm glad that I threw those magazines out, glad, glad, glad! I'm sick of you looking at other women, especially those naked women in those nasty girlie mags doing disgusting things! And when women flirt with you, you don't even bother to discourage them! I used to blame them, and I still do mostly, but I'm starting to think that you encourage them to come onto you! I don't like that I have to share you with a bunch of glossy paper dolls! If you cared about me, Roshi, you would stop looking at those mags altogether!"
The room suddenly grew very quiet, and everyone looked at Roshi to see what he would say next.
Roshi might have done what Candy had asked of him, had they not been fighting, but he was riled up as she was. He would have done anything that Candy had asked of him, but he was still peeved that Candy would throw out his personal property without asking him. He said defiantly, "I'm not giving up the magazines, Candy; they're just books of pictures, that's all. They're my property in my house. And as for the girls that I flirt with, I just do it for fun; it's not to cheat on you. I can do what I want!"
"And so can I!" Candy snapped. "I'm giving you an ultimatum, Roshi: me or those girls and those awful magazines! I'm not staying with someone who would flirt with other girls in front of me or look at other naked women besides myself!"
Roshi was more steamed than ever. "I'm not giving in to any ultimatums!" he huffed.
"Fine then! I see that I have my answer! Well, since you've obvious made your choice, I'm leaving! I'm packing my things tomorrow, and I'm gone!" And she turned defiantly on her heel and began to march upstairs. Marron burst into tears.
"Don't go, Candy!" she cried.
Candy tried to calm down. She said as kindly as possible, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I think that it's for the best, if I go."
"Fine, then go!" Roshi yelled, much to everyone's surprise. "I'll be just fine, and I know that you'll be back!"
"No, I won't!" Candy snapped back at him. "I'm not going to stay with a man who I have to share with other girls and nasty magazines! And to think that I gave myself to you! I'm gone, goodbye!" And within minutes, she had stormed off into her room and slammed the door shut.
"No, Candy!" Marron screamed, as her heart broke.
Roshi then stormed off into the downstairs bathroom and slammed the door. Everyone could see clearly that he was furious.
But what they couldn't see (or hear) was Roshi was now sitting on the toilet lid, crying his heart out. He didn't really want Candy to leave; he loved her so much. Now he was going to lose her over a silly fight. He didn't come out for hours, and he cried himself to sleep on the toilet, with his head pressed against the sink.
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When he finally woke up and came out, the television was still turned off, and everyone was somber and quiet. Marron had her tearstained face buried in her mother's bosom, and Juuhachigou was stroking her hair. "Sweetheart, she'll be back when she calms down," she told her daughter.
"She said that she was never coming back," Marron sobbed. "And it's all Master Roshi's fault! I hate him!" Master Roshi cringed at her words, and he felt worse than ever.
"Easy, Marron, you don't hate Master Roshi," Krillin said soothingly.
"Is Candy really gone?" Roshi asked mournfully.
Umigame said quietly, "She is, I'm sorry. She left with two suitcases and a backpack. She said she was going to a hotel."
"How is she going to get there?" Oolong asked.
"Goku and I taught her to fly a month ago," Krillin replied. "She caught onto it pretty quickly, and I'm guessing that is how she left."
"I've made a huge mess of things," Roshi whispered. "I didn't really want her to leave. I love her. I was just so angry that I didn't think."
"We'll help you get her back," Krillin told him consolingly, patting the old man's back.
"Candy loves you," Umigame told Roshi gently. "She probably just needs time to cool down some. I'd give her a few days."
"But where will she go?" Roshi asked worriedly. "How will she survive? I hope that she has enough money. I've got to go find her!"
"Wait until the morning," Juuhachigou advised. "I'm sure that she'll call you soon enough when she's had time to think."
Roshi plopped down into a recliner and put his face in his hands, as he regretted his hasty last words to his beloved. The one time that he actually had a steady relationship, and he helped to screw it up! Despite Candy's faults and huge jealous streak, Roshi had always loved her unconditionally. Now what he was going to do?
"The first thing I am doing in the morning is finding her! I've got to! I'm just so worried!" he sobbed, as tears began streaming down his face.
"It'll be okay, Master Roshi," Umigame told him comfortingly.
"I hope that you're right," Roshi whispered.
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Chapter Eight: Be Careful For What You Wish For, Master Roshi
The next morning…
"Heck, for an old man, I don't look so bad! In fact, I don't look so bad at all!" Roshi told himself happily, as he strutted around in front of a full-length mirror. He flexed his muscles and puffed out his chest, posing and modeling in the privacy of his bedroom. The only garment he wore was a faux fur leopard-print loincloth draped around his waist. He was fantasizing that he was Tarzan, and he even did a few Tarzan yells until Oolong came banging on his door, demanding that he cut it off.
He continued to twirl in front of his mirror flexing and flashing his still-firm muscles. He was feeling confident at this moment, despite Oolong's earlier interruption of his fantasy play. "Oh, why if Bulma could see me like this, she'd dump Vegeta in a heartbeat and come running to me!" he whispered to himself. "Hey, why even Vegeta would cringe, knowing that I look like this!" (Of course, Vegeta would have cringed, but not for the reasons that Roshi thought that the Saiyan prince would.)
Roshi still fantasized about Bulma every now and then, but his daydreams about her were becoming less and less frequent. More often now, it was Candy who occupied his thoughts, and his desire for the former doll grew more and more every day. She did let him see her nude before, especially during their water sports in the ocean, and strangely enough, Roshi hadn't had a nosebleed past the first time that he had seen her naked. It was bizarre, he knew, but Candy so far in so many years had been the only woman whom he could view completely in the buff and not have his nose burst with blood.
He remembered the very first time months ago that Candy had allowed him to see the glory of her light-colored body. It was the beginning of their first time skinny-dipping in the ocean, and he and Candy had been alone, sitting on a red-and-white striped, oversized beach towel on the sand beforehand. Roshi had only been wearing a pair of blue and green Hawaiian-print swim shorts. Candy had casually started to untie the strings on her bikini, and Roshi had begun to panic.
"What's wrong, Roshi?" Candy had laughed merrily. "Haven't you ever seen a nude woman before?" (This was before Candy had learned of Roshi's porn collection.)
"Yes, er, I mean, no, well, yes, well I don't want to lie to you, Candy…but…" Roshi stammered and stuttered before he could tell her of his "condition". Candy had stroked his balding head and encouraged him to talk to her.
"Tell me, Roshi, why are you so reluctant to see me au naturel?" Candy had asked, softly, kindly.
Roshi, deeply ashamed, had reluctantly told her about his inability to view real-life nudity without his nose bleeding. That and his lasciviousness had kept him from the few real relationships with women that had been open to him throughout the many years of his life. Instead of mocking him, as he feared that she would, Candy said gently, "Roshi, I'll tell you what: why don't we go slowly with our nudity? If I were to strip slowly, would it help?"
"We-we could try it," Roshi said nervously. Candy smiled, and she began to reach behind her back to untie her bikini strings once more. Roshi held his nose cautiously, as Candy slowly slid off her top, as if doing a striptease. Roshi began to tremble, both with fear and delight, as Candy easily allowed her bikini top to fall away from the perfect mounds on her body.
"Easy, Roshi," Candy had told him smoothly, as she crawled over closer to him, allowing him to have a full view of her twin beauties. Roshi panted heavily, still holding his nose, hoping that he wouldn't bleed all over Candy and himself.
After a few tense minutes of holding his nose while Candy held up her shapely bosom in front of him, the pressure in Roshi's nose began to ease, and it no longer felt, as if it had to bleed. Candy gently pulled Roshi's hand away from his nose, and then she leaned over and kissed him softly on his lips, with her full chest brushing against his. Roshi shivered with joy, as Candy pressed herself against him; it had been a long time since he had felt a woman's unclothed body against his chest. He then dared to embrace her, as Candy slid off her bikini bottom slowly. Roshi became excited, but then Candy slowly, reluctantly began to slide her bikini bottom back on. She kissed him more firmly, and then she had left to put her bikini top back on.
"I can't tempt you too much, my Roshi," she had told him kindly. "It's too soon for us to go that far yet. I just wanted you to get used to seeing me this way."
Roshi, of course, had been disappointed that things wouldn't go any further that day, but at least afterwards, he could view Candy in the buff without his nose ruining the moment. In fact, Candy was the only woman that he could view in the nude without his nose causing him trouble and bleeding.
Ah, how could he seduce her? It had been close to six months since they had met, and they were nowhere closer to going to bed together. Roshi then sat down on the edge of his bed, sighing heavily. He was almost certain that he loved Candy, and he did want to make love to her. Would Candy ever allow him to make her his woman?
His heart felt heavy, as if it wanted to sink into his feet, and he looked down into his lap at the faux fur loincloth on his waist. He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear a soft footfall enter the room, nor he did he feel one side of the bed descend under the weight of a female. It was only when he felt slender feminine fingers run along his shoulder that he knew that someone, someone special, had entered the room.
"Roshi?"
Roshi looked hopefully at the object of his affections, as she nuzzled his throat. "Candy?" he asked hesitantly.
Candy slowly slid herself into his lap, pressing her soft, sculpted body against his bare chest, as she began kissing his neck and tracing the muscles along his chest.
"Roshi, darling, do you have any plans for this afternoon?"
Roshi stammered nervously, "Well, I did have a few plans-"
"Cancel them," she said firmly, authoritatively. She began to push him down on the bed, with her perfect body resting upon his.
Roshi chuckled wickedly, as he wrapped his arms around her. He wasn't about to disobey her at this point. He shivered with hope and delight, as Candy got off of him and stood up, doing a slow striptease. Roshi's eyes bulged as she easily slid off a purple strapless dress, and his eyes bulged even wider when he realized that she wore nothing underneath.
"Ahhh!" Roshi sighed happily, as Candy descended upon him, her nude body pressing against his. She guided Roshi's hands all over her body, as she kissed him everywhere.
With her help, Roshi had his loincloth off within seconds, but Candy insisted on being the one in control this time. "Next time you can take charge," she whispered boldly to him, as she threw back the covers and slid under them. Roshi didn't hesitate to climb under the covers with her. He and Candy embraced passionately, pressing themselves against each other, kissing each other everywhere, from each other's lips to their faces, to their necks and down below…
"I've been wanting you for a while like this," Candy admitted breathlessly.
"You've been well worth the wait," Roshi sighed happily, as he and his new lover continued further with their lovemaking under the covers.
What followed afterwards would be a sweet expression of love and satisfaction between an aged man and a younger, eager woman who were starting to care deeply for each other. Whatever differences they had didn't matter at this time, as Roshi took Candy into his arms, and Candy began the long-awaited process of giving herself to him completely…
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Two hours later…
Candy was resting her silken red head upon Roshi's bare chest, as she snuggled up against his body contentedly. She kissed his chest, as she stroked the rest of it. No matter what other females had to say about Roshi, he had been more than satisfactory a lover, at least in her eyes. Roshi had been very eager, almost like a teenager, but Candy had convinced him to take things slowly in bed. He had been gentle with her, yet very passionate and bold later on. The former fashion doll had happily reciprocated his advances, and they had spent a wonderful time in bed together; all had went very well for their first time together.
Candy grinned to herself, as she cuddled against her Roshi closer. She could definitely tell Juuhachigou tomorrow that Roshi had been able to "get it up" after all. In fact, he had been able to do more than even that…
Roshi's snoring was like the peaceful rumble of ocean waves to Candy's ears, as she felt his chest rise up and down beneath her cheek. She then stretched herself up until she was in front of his face, with her lips close to his. She kissed him quickly, yet firmly.
"I love you, Roshi."
And with a sleepy yawn, Candy fell asleep on her beloved's chest.
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A few days later…
Candy and Roshi had only left Roshi's bedroom just long enough to get lunch and to get a robe for Candy. Everyone strongly suspected what Candy and Roshi had been up to, but no one had said a word for hours, even though the newly mated couple had strolled around the house in their robes. Oolong had snickered and joked to Umigame and Krillin that "the old man finally got some", but Umigame sharply reprimanded the pig, telling him not to be so crude. Krillin and Juuhachigou had been enormously embarrassed to see Roshi strutting around the house with a grin on his face, but deep down they were happy for Roshi and his new amour.
Now three days later, Candy and Roshi were back in the bedroom, having decided to go for another round. Standing on the floor, Roshi growled ferociously like a tiger, as he eagerly walked towards Candy, ready to claim her again. But when he slid his arms around the trim waist of his mate, Candy's expression was one of misery and dismay. She was also unusually anxious to get to the bathroom as soon as possible.
"Candy, what's wrong? Didn't I make you happy?" Roshi asked worriedly.
"Of course you did, Roshi, but it's just that-"
"Just that what?" Roshi wailed. "Candy, if I did anything wrong, I'll be happy to make up for whatever it was that I did-"
"You can't make up for this, Roshi. In fact, there's nothing that you can do to solve this."
Roshi was in despair at this point. "But what's going on, Candy? What's so bad that I can't help to make it better?"
"It's not bad…it's just…well, we can't do much else today."
"Why's that?" Roshi asked worriedly. "Did something happen?"
"Yes," Candy told him honestly. "Something did happen."
"And it's going to ruin our moment?"
"Unfortunately."
Roshi laughed. "Now Candy, what could have happened that would stop us from having some more fun?"
Candy looked more miserable than ever, but there was nothing that she could do. Not even Roshi could help.
"Well, my dear?"
Candy said wearily, "My period started."
BOOM! CRASH!
Within seconds, Roshi's body had collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
"Roshi? Roshi?"
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Two days later, in Roshi's bedroom…
Roshi had tried to hold off as long as he could, but not being able to make love to his sweetheart was starting to wear on him.
And Candy was one of those women who had her "time of month" for four days or more. She and Roshi had kissed, cuddled, and fooled around in bed, but they had not been able to do much more beyond that. To keep temptation at bay, Candy had insisted on keeping her underwear on, and she had asked Roshi to do the same. Roshi had tried to be as patient as possible, but to him, Candy was like the most succulent, rich, creamy German chocolate cake in the world; he couldn't stop after one taste.
And today, Candy had decided to go shopping at the Satan City Mall with Juuhachigou and Marron. Krillin and Oolong had gone to visit the Son family, and Umigame had gone beneath the ocean surface to visit his cousins. Roshi had the house to himself, and he was growing very frustrated, not having any way of relieving the sexual tension that was building up deep within him.
And since Candy wasn't around, there was only one thing that Roshi could do to calm himself down, the one thing that had seen him through many, many, MANY, days and nights with no female companionship: his beloved porn collection.
Roshi casually leapt off of his bed to look under it for his most current porn magazines that he had received within the past two weeks. But when he looked under the bed, he discovered to his horror that his porn magazines were missing!
"OOLONG!" he shouted. "I'm going to strangle you! I told you before about taking my mags without asking me first!"
He hurried out of his bedroom and ran down the hallway to Oolong's room. After an hour of digging around in his friend's bedroom, Roshi was only able to find what magazines that he had given Oolong to keep in the past, but not the new ones that he had so eagerly wanted.
After putting Oolong's room back together, Roshi left and wandered around the house worriedly, wondering what could have happened to his new magazines. Who else other than Oolong would have wanted his magazines? Umigame thought they were trash, and the turtle had never touched them in the past; Umigame was unnerved around scantily clad human females as it was.
Krillin would have been too uncomfortable with even looking at the naked pictures of other women in those books; even if the former monk had wanted to peek at the books, Juuhachigou would have had a fit if he had even attempted to try it. Roshi remembered that Krillin had bribed him with porn magazines when Krillin had been a small boy trying to convince a younger Roshi to train him along with Goku. But Krillin later confessed that he had never once looked in those magazines; he had only brought them to Roshi because he had heard that the once-famous martial-artist had the world's largest porn collection, and he thought that he could convince Roshi to train him if he gave Roshi the magazines.
Could Krillin's wife have possibly confiscated them and hidden them or thrown them away, so that Marron wouldn't see the pictures in them? No, he and Juuhachigou had a standing verbal agreement: if Roshi would keep his girlie magazines out of Marron's reach and view, Juuhachigou would not touch any of them. So far, as far as he knew, that agreement hadn't been violated. But what if it had?
Roshi was pondering this, as he trudged up to the attic to look at his older magazines. Ah, well, he could always look at the 1980 Holiday Issue of Sweet Cheeks magazine, one of his favorite older magazines. He was drooling, dreaming of Sweet Cheeks' Miss Merry Christmas of 1980; Miss Merry Christmas of that year sure had back then looked like Candy did now.
Roshi daydreamed of Candy dressed as Angelique Frost, the Miss Merry Christmas of 1980, had been in a red velvet bikini top and bottom set that was trimmed with white faux fur. He'd buy Candy the exact same outfit as Miss Frost had worn that year…she'd look yummier than ever! Roshi grinned giddily at that thought, as he opened the door to his attic, feeling much happier now.
But his happy expression melted into one of horror and dismay immediately when he entered the attic-and found the numerous boxes of his porno stash gone!
Roshi screamed, as he ran frantically throughout the attic, trying to find his pornography. All of the boxes of his magazines, many decades of magazines, were missing. And he couldn't find all of his new ones at all.
After an excruciating hour of searching throughout his house for any porn magazine, the old man realized that he would have to give up. Someone had robbed his house while it had been empty; that just had to be it!
He went outside on the front porch, sat down on the doorstep and began to weep uncontrollably. What sort of deranged creature would want to take away his favorite possessions, a bright spot in his life besides Candy?
Who would want to do this to him?
*************************************************************************************************
The "deranged creature" was trying on a silk white strapless sundress with frilly ruffles on the skirt, twirling and posing in the dressing room. Juuhachigou was in the next stall over, admiring herself in a smart, pale pink suit with a suit jacket that was scalloped along the edges.
Candy, deciding that she would get the new sundress, called out to Juuhachigou, "Remember a month ago when you said that you would be happy if those awful girlie mags that Roshi had would disappear?"
"Yeah," Juuhachigou admitted, deciding that she would buy the suit that she was wearing. "What about them?"
"Well, you won't have to worry about Marron looking at those pictures anymore," Candy informed her friend brightly.
"How so?" Juuhachigou asked her, changing back into her old clothes. She had learned about the incident of Marron, Trunks, and Goten discovering Roshi's pornography stash in the attic, and she hadn't been happy about it. The android had realized that it wasn't Roshi's fault that the children had found the magazines, but she had told him about and insisted that he lock up the attic. Roshi had done so immediately without even looking in the room. Juuhachigou had warned Marron never to look at those books again, and both Trunks and Goten had been grounded indefinitely by their mothers. Vegeta had forced Trunks to undergo extra training as additional punishment.
"Well, I decided to clean house and dispose of all of them!" Candy said proudly. "I know that Roshi won't be happy about that, but-"
"You threw out his magazines?" Juuhachigou exclaimed. "Candy, I understand how we feel about those awful things, but that was going too far! Even I wouldn't have done that unless Roshi kept leaving them out for Marron to find. I don't like those magazines any more than you do, but you threw away someone's property! And it's Roshi's house, so he can keep what he wants in it. Roshi is going to go ballistic when he finds out!"
"He doesn't need them anymore," Candy protested. "He has me. I don't like that he has to look over a bunch of naked women doing awful things in awful magazines when he has me now! I feel like he's being unfaithful every time he looks at those books; it's like that I'm not enough for him! What if he thinks about them when we're together? What if he finds those girls prettier than me? What if he finds a woman who looks like one of them one day and decides he would rather have her than me? Every time he picks up a porn mag, I feel like he desires another woman! I've looked at those nasty books before, Juuhachigou, and all of those ladies have curvier bodies, prettier faces, bigger breasts, nicer butts, and it just brings me down to see them!"
Candy had now collapsed into tears. Hearing her sobs, Juuhachigou quietly left her stall, now dressed in her old clothes again, and knocked on the door of Candy's stall. A sobbing Candy opened the door, with tears running down her face, and Juuhachigou pitied her. The android could sympathize with her; she had felt the same way the first time that she had learned of Krillin's ex-girlfriend, Maron. Juuhachigou had secretly wondered if Krillin could ever love her as much as he had Maron, and it had taken her some time for her to see that she was Krillin's true love.
It wasn't in her nature normally to be affectionate with anyone other than Krillin and Marron, but Juuhachigou felt sorry for Candy, so she drew the girl into her arms and hugged her. Candy wept on Juuhachigou's shoulder, and the android patted her back.
"Hey, take it easy," she told Candy. "It's not the end of the world. Just tell Roshi the truth and how you feel about those magazines. Maybe he'll cut down on reading them, if nothing else. It'll be okay; Roshi thinks the world of you, and he'll get over it."
Candy sniffled and nodded. When she had calmed down considerably, Marron came out of her stall, wearing a cute red sundress with straps and yellow suns on the fabric. Marron was also wearing a little red pillbox hat that was trimmed with silk pink daisies. On her feet was a pair of white patent leather Mary Janes.
"How do I look?" she asked happily.
"Beautiful," Juuhachigou told her with a smile.
"Precious, just precious," Candy gushed, as Marron twirled around to model herself before her and Juuhachigou.
"I want a little girl someday," Candy whispered. "Or even a little boy…as long as the child is Roshi's, either one would be fine with me."
Juuhachigou only smiled, as she beckoned Marron to come closer, so she could see the price tag attached to her daughter's garment. The android winced at the high price of the outfit, but she agreed to let Marron have it anyway.
*************************************************************************************************
That evening…
"Okay, everyone, we are having a household meeting," Roshi declared, as he turned the television off.
All the Kame House occupants in the bedroom knew that Roshi was serious then, for the old man had turned off the set in the middle of his favorite evening women's aerobics program.
"What's wrong, Master Roshi?" Umigame asked worriedly.
"My porn stash is missing," Roshi said curtly. "Does anyone know what happened to it?"
"What about the stash in the attic?" Oolong asked.
"Gone, and my new ones are too," Roshi said, now mournfully. "I think that someone must have broken into our house and stolen them."
"No one broke into your house, Roshi," Candy said quietly.
"Why do you say that, Candy?" Oolong wanted to know.
"The magazines weren't stolen; they were thrown away," Candy said softly with her red head hung down.
"THROWN AWAY? Who would throw away my magazines?" Roshi fumed.
"I would," Candy said, her voice very low. "I disposed of them some time back. I threw them out the last time that the garbage barge came."
Roshi looked at her, devastated. "Candy," he whispered hoarsely. "Why? How could you do such a thing?"
"Because I thought that they were a bad influence on Marron and the other kids…and because I was jealous of them, of those women in those magazines. I thought that you would be better off without them-"
"Better off without them?" Roshi fumed, agitated. He was normally not one to get angry easily, but his porn stash had been thrown out! How could Candy do this to him? "Those magazines were mine, Candy, mine! You had no right to throw them out! I spent many years saving up all those mags; most of them cannot be replaced! I had magazines, older issues that were worth money! How could you do this to me?"
"Roshi, I am sorry," Candy whispered tearfully. "I was just so jealous of those women in those books; I know now that it was silly for me to be, but-"
"Jealous! You threw out my magazines because you were jealous of the women in them! Candy, your jealousy has gone too far! I found it flattering at first, but now this is ridiculous! Those women are models, Candy! What is the big deal about the women in those mags? It's not as if I'm having an affair with any of them; all I am doing is looking! Who did you think you were, throwing my magazines out like that? And I bet that you threw out the new magazines too, didn't you?"
Candy nodded, ashamed.
"Why, Candy, why?" Roshi hissed, furious. "You were acting as if those girls in those books could actually take your place! You acted as if those girls were real-life rivals-"
"To me they are!" Candy screamed, standing up. She now was angry herself. "I thought that I meant something to you, Roshi! I've done everything with you and for you, and still you look at other women and those awful magazines! Well, you know what, I'm glad that I threw those magazines out, glad, glad, glad! I'm sick of you looking at other women, especially those naked women in those nasty girlie mags doing disgusting things! And when women flirt with you, you don't even bother to discourage them! I used to blame them, and I still do mostly, but I'm starting to think that you encourage them to come onto you! I don't like that I have to share you with a bunch of glossy paper dolls! If you cared about me, Roshi, you would stop looking at those mags altogether!"
The room suddenly grew very quiet, and everyone looked at Roshi to see what he would say next.
Roshi might have done what Candy had asked of him, had they not been fighting, but he was riled up as she was. He would have done anything that Candy had asked of him, but he was still peeved that Candy would throw out his personal property without asking him. He said defiantly, "I'm not giving up the magazines, Candy; they're just books of pictures, that's all. They're my property in my house. And as for the girls that I flirt with, I just do it for fun; it's not to cheat on you. I can do what I want!"
"And so can I!" Candy snapped. "I'm giving you an ultimatum, Roshi: me or those girls and those awful magazines! I'm not staying with someone who would flirt with other girls in front of me or look at other naked women besides myself!"
Roshi was more steamed than ever. "I'm not giving in to any ultimatums!" he huffed.
"Fine then! I see that I have my answer! Well, since you've obvious made your choice, I'm leaving! I'm packing my things tomorrow, and I'm gone!" And she turned defiantly on her heel and began to march upstairs. Marron burst into tears.
"Don't go, Candy!" she cried.
Candy tried to calm down. She said as kindly as possible, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I think that it's for the best, if I go."
"Fine, then go!" Roshi yelled, much to everyone's surprise. "I'll be just fine, and I know that you'll be back!"
"No, I won't!" Candy snapped back at him. "I'm not going to stay with a man who I have to share with other girls and nasty magazines! And to think that I gave myself to you! I'm gone, goodbye!" And within minutes, she had stormed off into her room and slammed the door shut.
"No, Candy!" Marron screamed, as her heart broke.
Roshi then stormed off into the downstairs bathroom and slammed the door. Everyone could see clearly that he was furious.
But what they couldn't see (or hear) was Roshi was now sitting on the toilet lid, crying his heart out. He didn't really want Candy to leave; he loved her so much. Now he was going to lose her over a silly fight. He didn't come out for hours, and he cried himself to sleep on the toilet, with his head pressed against the sink.
*************************************************************************************************
When he finally woke up and came out, the television was still turned off, and everyone was somber and quiet. Marron had her tearstained face buried in her mother's bosom, and Juuhachigou was stroking her hair. "Sweetheart, she'll be back when she calms down," she told her daughter.
"She said that she was never coming back," Marron sobbed. "And it's all Master Roshi's fault! I hate him!" Master Roshi cringed at her words, and he felt worse than ever.
"Easy, Marron, you don't hate Master Roshi," Krillin said soothingly.
"Is Candy really gone?" Roshi asked mournfully.
Umigame said quietly, "She is, I'm sorry. She left with two suitcases and a backpack. She said she was going to a hotel."
"How is she going to get there?" Oolong asked.
"Goku and I taught her to fly a month ago," Krillin replied. "She caught onto it pretty quickly, and I'm guessing that is how she left."
"I've made a huge mess of things," Roshi whispered. "I didn't really want her to leave. I love her. I was just so angry that I didn't think."
"We'll help you get her back," Krillin told him consolingly, patting the old man's back.
"Candy loves you," Umigame told Roshi gently. "She probably just needs time to cool down some. I'd give her a few days."
"But where will she go?" Roshi asked worriedly. "How will she survive? I hope that she has enough money. I've got to go find her!"
"Wait until the morning," Juuhachigou advised. "I'm sure that she'll call you soon enough when she's had time to think."
Roshi plopped down into a recliner and put his face in his hands, as he regretted his hasty last words to his beloved. The one time that he actually had a steady relationship, and he helped to screw it up! Despite Candy's faults and huge jealous streak, Roshi had always loved her unconditionally. Now what he was going to do?
"The first thing I am doing in the morning is finding her! I've got to! I'm just so worried!" he sobbed, as tears began streaming down his face.
"It'll be okay, Master Roshi," Umigame told him comfortingly.
"I hope that you're right," Roshi whispered.