Troublemakers: Slaying Bites
AUTHOR: Silence
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet, Simon are MINE. Got that? Good.
SPOILERS: Let's see... pretty much general warning...
RATING: Hmm.. It's not bad.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first please.
FEEDBACK: A must, cause I yearn for attention.
SUMMARY: Xander and his new best friend Spike (I'm evil..) get sent back in time to Buffy's pre Sunnydale days.
AUTHORS NOTES: Let's see, A lot of things in here might not make sense... use brain power... and a lot of things were done at the request of my friend Bunny the bestest bunny lady around. So... this might get weird. This starts off in Season 4.
And anything between ** are thoughts. Kay? Good.
Like most of the fics I post here on Fanfiction.net, this is more then a year old... so... yeah. ________________________
PROLOGUE
Alexander Lavelle Harris, aka Xander to all, stared at his wall in awe. He tilted his head and then frowned.
"Spike..." he said to everyone's favorite bleached vamp with a chip, "What did you do to my wall?"
"What did I do? I call that art." Spike said with a nod. "I call it... 'Blood bath in Sunnydale'."
"All you did was throw a bottle of ketchup at the wall."
"What's your point?"
Xander groaned. "Spike, don't you have place of your own?"
"Course I do. But the bloody cable went out."
"Go home Spike."
Spike glared at him, "What's wrong with you? Some one kill your puppy?"
"Shut up."
"Fine. Be that way you bloody white hat." The vampire said in a miffed tone. On his way out he snatched a bag of mounds bars and slammed the door as he exited. "Bloody wanker doesn't appreciate fine art."
As the vampire stalked off he failed to notice he was being watched.
"Ooh... Spike! God he's hot. Can we play with him too?"
"We? Please, you know full well you wouldn't share."
"What's your point?"
"Oh brother. Listen up we have a job to do okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Let's do this." With one last hopeful glance at Spike the two figures vanished in to the Harris house.
____________
"What? Damn it Xander, that's the third time you've broken a date off!" Anya screamed in to the phone. "Can we at least have sex?"
"Anya."
"Fine!" The former demoness slammed the phone down angrily. "Jerk. Who needs him? I can get any man. Any one I want." The phone rang and Anya picked it up. "I knew you'd change your mind Xander."
"I'm not Xander." A voice replied.
"Oh. Sorry."
"It's ok. Can I help you?"
"I don't know. Can you?"
"..."
"So, Anya, What's your favorite scary movie?"
___________________
"So do we just pop in and say hi?"
"No."
"Can we at least knock him unconscious?"
"NO!"
"Fine. You're no fun."
"I rarely am."
_________
Xander was stretched out on his bed mourning the loss of his Mounds bars when he heard voices arguing. He grabbed a baseball bat next to his bed and stood up. "Who's there?" He groaned, "Oh that's smart. Let's repeat that."
Two figures stepped out of the shadows. Both female. One had long, dark, purple hair and wore what seemed to be a Sailor Senshi uniform. She stood at least 5'8" and looked mildly bored. She leaned on against the wall her arms folded across her chest. The other young woman was about 5' 6 1/2", had dark red hair and asian features. The red head was dressed in a tight spandex body suit that made her look like she was from a comic book. She seemed to be toying with a bright pink cube. The girl kept twisting and turning it like an old rubix cube.
"Who are you guys?" Xander asked. "And why are you dressed like anime characters?"
"Hey, he knows anime!" The red head exclaimed, "There's hope for him yet!"
The purple haired girl straightened up. "You can call me Lila."
"And you can call me Scarlet."
"Um... ok. What do you want?"
"To send you back in time so you change things for the better." Scarlet said as she continued to fiddle with the cube. "How the hell does Mihoshi do this?"
"Damn it Scarlet stop fiddling with that thing!" Lila snapped. "And you call me a space case."
"You are."
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Not."
"Too."
"Stop it!" Xander yelled. The two girls stopped arguing and looked at him sheepishly. "Why are you sending me back in time? And where?"
"You'll find out when you get there. Now pick your partner." Lila said.
"Partner? Buffy."
Scarlet shook her head, "No can do. The Buffster, witch and watcher are off limits."
".. Riley?"
"Su..." Lila began.
"Nope." Scarlet interrupted. "He can't go. Neither can the demon chick."
"Oz?"
"No." The girls chorused.
"Then who can I take??" Xander shouted in exasperation.
Scarlet glanced at Lila, a pleading look in her eyes. Lila sighed. "Fine. You can use him."
"YES!!" Scarlet squealed and started playing with the cube. "Say goodbye to Sunnydale, Xander and hello to L.A!"
Xander's jaw dropped, "What? No! Not there I..."
Scarlet turned the cube once more it clicked and started to hum. The room was enveloped in a bright pink flash of light. As the trio vanished, they failed to notice the tv still blaring.
"Tragedy struck Sunnydale again." A news reporter said on the screen. "A young woman was found gutted and hanging from a tree. The victim's name is being withheld until notification of relatives."
AUTHOR: Silence
DISCLAIMER: Joss, Fox, and UPN own all things Buffy. Lila, Scarlet, Simon are MINE. Got that? Good.
SPOILERS: Let's see... pretty much general warning...
RATING: Hmm.. It's not bad.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first please.
FEEDBACK: A must, cause I yearn for attention.
SUMMARY: Xander and his new best friend Spike (I'm evil..) get sent back in time to Buffy's pre Sunnydale days.
AUTHORS NOTES: Let's see, A lot of things in here might not make sense... use brain power... and a lot of things were done at the request of my friend Bunny the bestest bunny lady around. So... this might get weird. This starts off in Season 4.
And anything between ** are thoughts. Kay? Good.
Like most of the fics I post here on Fanfiction.net, this is more then a year old... so... yeah. ________________________
PROLOGUE
Alexander Lavelle Harris, aka Xander to all, stared at his wall in awe. He tilted his head and then frowned.
"Spike..." he said to everyone's favorite bleached vamp with a chip, "What did you do to my wall?"
"What did I do? I call that art." Spike said with a nod. "I call it... 'Blood bath in Sunnydale'."
"All you did was throw a bottle of ketchup at the wall."
"What's your point?"
Xander groaned. "Spike, don't you have place of your own?"
"Course I do. But the bloody cable went out."
"Go home Spike."
Spike glared at him, "What's wrong with you? Some one kill your puppy?"
"Shut up."
"Fine. Be that way you bloody white hat." The vampire said in a miffed tone. On his way out he snatched a bag of mounds bars and slammed the door as he exited. "Bloody wanker doesn't appreciate fine art."
As the vampire stalked off he failed to notice he was being watched.
"Ooh... Spike! God he's hot. Can we play with him too?"
"We? Please, you know full well you wouldn't share."
"What's your point?"
"Oh brother. Listen up we have a job to do okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Let's do this." With one last hopeful glance at Spike the two figures vanished in to the Harris house.
____________
"What? Damn it Xander, that's the third time you've broken a date off!" Anya screamed in to the phone. "Can we at least have sex?"
"Anya."
"Fine!" The former demoness slammed the phone down angrily. "Jerk. Who needs him? I can get any man. Any one I want." The phone rang and Anya picked it up. "I knew you'd change your mind Xander."
"I'm not Xander." A voice replied.
"Oh. Sorry."
"It's ok. Can I help you?"
"I don't know. Can you?"
"..."
"So, Anya, What's your favorite scary movie?"
___________________
"So do we just pop in and say hi?"
"No."
"Can we at least knock him unconscious?"
"NO!"
"Fine. You're no fun."
"I rarely am."
_________
Xander was stretched out on his bed mourning the loss of his Mounds bars when he heard voices arguing. He grabbed a baseball bat next to his bed and stood up. "Who's there?" He groaned, "Oh that's smart. Let's repeat that."
Two figures stepped out of the shadows. Both female. One had long, dark, purple hair and wore what seemed to be a Sailor Senshi uniform. She stood at least 5'8" and looked mildly bored. She leaned on against the wall her arms folded across her chest. The other young woman was about 5' 6 1/2", had dark red hair and asian features. The red head was dressed in a tight spandex body suit that made her look like she was from a comic book. She seemed to be toying with a bright pink cube. The girl kept twisting and turning it like an old rubix cube.
"Who are you guys?" Xander asked. "And why are you dressed like anime characters?"
"Hey, he knows anime!" The red head exclaimed, "There's hope for him yet!"
The purple haired girl straightened up. "You can call me Lila."
"And you can call me Scarlet."
"Um... ok. What do you want?"
"To send you back in time so you change things for the better." Scarlet said as she continued to fiddle with the cube. "How the hell does Mihoshi do this?"
"Damn it Scarlet stop fiddling with that thing!" Lila snapped. "And you call me a space case."
"You are."
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Not."
"Too."
"Stop it!" Xander yelled. The two girls stopped arguing and looked at him sheepishly. "Why are you sending me back in time? And where?"
"You'll find out when you get there. Now pick your partner." Lila said.
"Partner? Buffy."
Scarlet shook her head, "No can do. The Buffster, witch and watcher are off limits."
".. Riley?"
"Su..." Lila began.
"Nope." Scarlet interrupted. "He can't go. Neither can the demon chick."
"Oz?"
"No." The girls chorused.
"Then who can I take??" Xander shouted in exasperation.
Scarlet glanced at Lila, a pleading look in her eyes. Lila sighed. "Fine. You can use him."
"YES!!" Scarlet squealed and started playing with the cube. "Say goodbye to Sunnydale, Xander and hello to L.A!"
Xander's jaw dropped, "What? No! Not there I..."
Scarlet turned the cube once more it clicked and started to hum. The room was enveloped in a bright pink flash of light. As the trio vanished, they failed to notice the tv still blaring.
"Tragedy struck Sunnydale again." A news reporter said on the screen. "A young woman was found gutted and hanging from a tree. The victim's name is being withheld until notification of relatives."