Disclaimer: I own a loin cloth( the one I'm wearing right now) and a bottle
of diet coke.
(Meryl is typing on her PC)
Computer screen: And they were never seen again, THE END.
Meryl: Wow! I'm good! (looks at time) better go to sleep now, principal fatman's gonna have my ass if I'm late for my classes again. (she's a teacher by the way, not a student.)
*Rustle Rustle*
Meryl: Who's there? (looks out bedroom window.) Hello?
Snake: (jumps up) BOO!
Meryl: AHHH.. Snake what are you doing here?
Snake: I came to see you of course.
Meryl: I already see you too much at school. (Snake's also a teacher there (History))
Campbell: (shouting from behind her bedroom door.) Anything-wrong dear?
Meryl: Nothing Dad!
Campbell: I'm going back to sleep now.
Meryl: Okay Dad.
Campbell: (leaves)
Snake: Why don't you just dump that old fogger in an old folk's home?
Meryl: Snake he's my father, I can't just DUMP him somewhere.
Snake: Whatever, see you at school. (Kisses her forehead before leaving)
Meryl: He can be so cute sometimes. (Offs computer and goes to sleep.)
THE NEXT DAY
Snake: Man! Today's a great day, I feel like something good is gonna happen, maybe all my students will die of malaria.
Meryl: Hope s....I mean don't be silly Snake.
(Frank (A.K.A Grey fox and snake's best friend, runs a bar together with his stepsister Noami.) Runs over to Snake.)
Fox: Snake, did you hear the bad news?
Snake: What?
Fox: Your Brother's stepson, Jake got killed last night!
Snake: YES!!!!! So what's the bad news?
Meryl: Snake that's the bad news, that's horrible! What happened?
Fox: The police stated the cause of death as rapid stabbing; they say they found his liver in the mailbox!
Snake: Hey! He always wanted us to leave his CPU girlfriend alone you know? LIVER Alone! HA HA! I made A FUNNY!
Fox: ......
Meryl: ........
Snake: What?
Meryl: So did they find the killer?
Fox: The police are still investigating, anyway I gotta go okay? See ya! (leaves)
Snake: WHEN I FIND THAT KILLER I'M GONNA.....
Meryl: Snake calm down, you can't just kill someone for revenge.
Snake: .... I was going to say buy him a beer.
Meryl: (sighs and drags snake inside the school (aren't they cute?))
( Meanwhile, a certain female reporter was attempting to get more information.)
Wolf: Sir, could yo....
Policeman: No comments. (walks away)
Wolf: Excuse me, si.....
Policeman: No comments.
Wolf: Damn! Who do you have to blow to get a story around here? (Sees a policeman standing around doing nothing and walks up to him.) Sir, do you have any comments on the murder?
???: Well... I'm not supposed to talk about it.
Wolf: Just a statement sir.
???: well..... okay.
Wolf: Could I have your name first?
Otacon: Err.. it's Hal, but people call me Otacon.
Author's note: If you're wondering why I picked Otacon to play Dewy, it's because he's the only one with a lover (sniper wolf) and a sister (Dewy's sister got killed, remember?) unlike fox (though he probably make a better policeman..))
Wolf: That's a weird name.
Otacon: That's what people call me miss wolf.
Wolf: Call me Gale (I don't recall sniper wolf having a first name so I'm just retaining the original one)
Otacon: well, Gale all I have to say abo.....
(let's leave them alone, and check on Snake.)
Snake: Now class, I hope you have all done your History reports on the French revolution or you're going to be as dead as my step-nephew. And I'm sure you heard the news, so Jake will not be attending this school anymore (Raiden was a student)
Girl student: *sweatdrop* Umm..Mister Snake, isn't that a bit..mean? I mean he just died last night.
Snake: So I heard well frankly I didn't like him much, well what's done is done, Live and let live! Wouldn't you say?
Students: *Sweatdrop*
Snake: Now, today we're gonna start on the scarle.....
( Meanwhile, Meryl was teaching her own class and fortunately, she was a bit more caring.) (She teaches English)
Meryl: Class... I'm sure you heard the news, I think that it is sad and disturbing that a Student that we knew could be so viciously killed, let us all say a silent prayer for him now. (Clasps hands and starts praying.)
Students: (They do the same.)
Meryl: ..........
Students: ............
Meryl: .............
???: *COUGH!*
Meryl: Right! Okay today let's discuss our opinions on Jack's unfortunate demise.
Male student: The killer probably really wanted to kill Jack OFF!!
Students: (start laughing)
Meryl: Class behave.......
( In Fatman's office, he was currently punishing two students running around with fake knifes and masks pretending to be the killer.)
Fatman: ONE OF OUR STUDENTS GOT KILLED LAST NIGHT AND YOU HAVE THE CHEEK TO STILL ACT LIKE THIS!! DISGRACEFUL!!! ( Cuts up one of the masks using scissors) YOU'RE BOTH EXPELLED!!!
Student#1: Sir that's not fair!
Student#2: Yeah it was just a joke.
Fatman: Joke huh? (grabs one of the students by his shirt collar) What if I rip you up right now and say it's just a joke? GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK!!!
( The two students run out but not before firing one last volley)
Student#1: YOU'RE SO FAT YOU COULD STUNT DOUBLE AND TRIPLE FOR FAT BASTARD FROM AUSTIN POWERS!!!!
Student#2: YOUR MOTHER PROBABLY DIED FEEDING YOU!!! (they run off)
Fatman: YOU SONSOFBITC......
Janitor: calm down sir, remember your blood pressure.
Fatman: Yes, you're right, get me another aspirin please.....
( After School, Snake and Meryl go to Frank's bar to relax.)
Meryl: You know Snake, you really should try to care more, I mean it's your step nephew we're talking about.
Snake: Come on Meryl, I can't care for a person I hated in the first place, there was a reason he was my STEP nephew.
Noami: Frankly, this whole thing gives me the creeps, nother one?
Snake: (raises his glass) Please.
*Ring!*
Meryl: (picks up her cell phone) Hello?
???: BLUBBER BOY'S GOING DOWN!! YOU'RE NEXT!
Meryl: Who is th...
*click*
Snake: Who was that?
Meryl: Just some weirdo.
Snake: So anyway like I was saying when we first got that blond wuss in the orphanage, He was wearing a BLUE polka dot dress! They thought he was a girl!
Frank: (stunned) no!
The killer makes his move........
Fatman: BOOGA!!!! HA! I KILL ME! ( we see he is wearing the mask and fooling around with it in front of the mirror.)
*Crash!*
Fatman: Who's there? (goes out his office and into the corridor and sees only the janitor) probably just my imagination. (Goes back in.)
( The killer creeps up from behing the office door and.....)
*STAB!*
Fatman: AHH!!! My back, damn I'm getting old.
*STAB! STAB! STAB!*
Fatman: Damn! Hurts, where's my rubbing alcohol?
*CHOP!CHOP!CHOP!*
Fatman: Man! If this pain keeps up I'm gonna need a chiropractor!
Killer: ( sighs, takes out a poison needle, pokes fatman in the butt and walks away.)
Fatman: Feel....sleepy....need...cof...cof.. (faints and dies.)
TBC
(Meryl is typing on her PC)
Computer screen: And they were never seen again, THE END.
Meryl: Wow! I'm good! (looks at time) better go to sleep now, principal fatman's gonna have my ass if I'm late for my classes again. (she's a teacher by the way, not a student.)
*Rustle Rustle*
Meryl: Who's there? (looks out bedroom window.) Hello?
Snake: (jumps up) BOO!
Meryl: AHHH.. Snake what are you doing here?
Snake: I came to see you of course.
Meryl: I already see you too much at school. (Snake's also a teacher there (History))
Campbell: (shouting from behind her bedroom door.) Anything-wrong dear?
Meryl: Nothing Dad!
Campbell: I'm going back to sleep now.
Meryl: Okay Dad.
Campbell: (leaves)
Snake: Why don't you just dump that old fogger in an old folk's home?
Meryl: Snake he's my father, I can't just DUMP him somewhere.
Snake: Whatever, see you at school. (Kisses her forehead before leaving)
Meryl: He can be so cute sometimes. (Offs computer and goes to sleep.)
THE NEXT DAY
Snake: Man! Today's a great day, I feel like something good is gonna happen, maybe all my students will die of malaria.
Meryl: Hope s....I mean don't be silly Snake.
(Frank (A.K.A Grey fox and snake's best friend, runs a bar together with his stepsister Noami.) Runs over to Snake.)
Fox: Snake, did you hear the bad news?
Snake: What?
Fox: Your Brother's stepson, Jake got killed last night!
Snake: YES!!!!! So what's the bad news?
Meryl: Snake that's the bad news, that's horrible! What happened?
Fox: The police stated the cause of death as rapid stabbing; they say they found his liver in the mailbox!
Snake: Hey! He always wanted us to leave his CPU girlfriend alone you know? LIVER Alone! HA HA! I made A FUNNY!
Fox: ......
Meryl: ........
Snake: What?
Meryl: So did they find the killer?
Fox: The police are still investigating, anyway I gotta go okay? See ya! (leaves)
Snake: WHEN I FIND THAT KILLER I'M GONNA.....
Meryl: Snake calm down, you can't just kill someone for revenge.
Snake: .... I was going to say buy him a beer.
Meryl: (sighs and drags snake inside the school (aren't they cute?))
( Meanwhile, a certain female reporter was attempting to get more information.)
Wolf: Sir, could yo....
Policeman: No comments. (walks away)
Wolf: Excuse me, si.....
Policeman: No comments.
Wolf: Damn! Who do you have to blow to get a story around here? (Sees a policeman standing around doing nothing and walks up to him.) Sir, do you have any comments on the murder?
???: Well... I'm not supposed to talk about it.
Wolf: Just a statement sir.
???: well..... okay.
Wolf: Could I have your name first?
Otacon: Err.. it's Hal, but people call me Otacon.
Author's note: If you're wondering why I picked Otacon to play Dewy, it's because he's the only one with a lover (sniper wolf) and a sister (Dewy's sister got killed, remember?) unlike fox (though he probably make a better policeman..))
Wolf: That's a weird name.
Otacon: That's what people call me miss wolf.
Wolf: Call me Gale (I don't recall sniper wolf having a first name so I'm just retaining the original one)
Otacon: well, Gale all I have to say abo.....
(let's leave them alone, and check on Snake.)
Snake: Now class, I hope you have all done your History reports on the French revolution or you're going to be as dead as my step-nephew. And I'm sure you heard the news, so Jake will not be attending this school anymore (Raiden was a student)
Girl student: *sweatdrop* Umm..Mister Snake, isn't that a bit..mean? I mean he just died last night.
Snake: So I heard well frankly I didn't like him much, well what's done is done, Live and let live! Wouldn't you say?
Students: *Sweatdrop*
Snake: Now, today we're gonna start on the scarle.....
( Meanwhile, Meryl was teaching her own class and fortunately, she was a bit more caring.) (She teaches English)
Meryl: Class... I'm sure you heard the news, I think that it is sad and disturbing that a Student that we knew could be so viciously killed, let us all say a silent prayer for him now. (Clasps hands and starts praying.)
Students: (They do the same.)
Meryl: ..........
Students: ............
Meryl: .............
???: *COUGH!*
Meryl: Right! Okay today let's discuss our opinions on Jack's unfortunate demise.
Male student: The killer probably really wanted to kill Jack OFF!!
Students: (start laughing)
Meryl: Class behave.......
( In Fatman's office, he was currently punishing two students running around with fake knifes and masks pretending to be the killer.)
Fatman: ONE OF OUR STUDENTS GOT KILLED LAST NIGHT AND YOU HAVE THE CHEEK TO STILL ACT LIKE THIS!! DISGRACEFUL!!! ( Cuts up one of the masks using scissors) YOU'RE BOTH EXPELLED!!!
Student#1: Sir that's not fair!
Student#2: Yeah it was just a joke.
Fatman: Joke huh? (grabs one of the students by his shirt collar) What if I rip you up right now and say it's just a joke? GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK!!!
( The two students run out but not before firing one last volley)
Student#1: YOU'RE SO FAT YOU COULD STUNT DOUBLE AND TRIPLE FOR FAT BASTARD FROM AUSTIN POWERS!!!!
Student#2: YOUR MOTHER PROBABLY DIED FEEDING YOU!!! (they run off)
Fatman: YOU SONSOFBITC......
Janitor: calm down sir, remember your blood pressure.
Fatman: Yes, you're right, get me another aspirin please.....
( After School, Snake and Meryl go to Frank's bar to relax.)
Meryl: You know Snake, you really should try to care more, I mean it's your step nephew we're talking about.
Snake: Come on Meryl, I can't care for a person I hated in the first place, there was a reason he was my STEP nephew.
Noami: Frankly, this whole thing gives me the creeps, nother one?
Snake: (raises his glass) Please.
*Ring!*
Meryl: (picks up her cell phone) Hello?
???: BLUBBER BOY'S GOING DOWN!! YOU'RE NEXT!
Meryl: Who is th...
*click*
Snake: Who was that?
Meryl: Just some weirdo.
Snake: So anyway like I was saying when we first got that blond wuss in the orphanage, He was wearing a BLUE polka dot dress! They thought he was a girl!
Frank: (stunned) no!
The killer makes his move........
Fatman: BOOGA!!!! HA! I KILL ME! ( we see he is wearing the mask and fooling around with it in front of the mirror.)
*Crash!*
Fatman: Who's there? (goes out his office and into the corridor and sees only the janitor) probably just my imagination. (Goes back in.)
( The killer creeps up from behing the office door and.....)
*STAB!*
Fatman: AHH!!! My back, damn I'm getting old.
*STAB! STAB! STAB!*
Fatman: Damn! Hurts, where's my rubbing alcohol?
*CHOP!CHOP!CHOP!*
Fatman: Man! If this pain keeps up I'm gonna need a chiropractor!
Killer: ( sighs, takes out a poison needle, pokes fatman in the butt and walks away.)
Fatman: Feel....sleepy....need...cof...cof.. (faints and dies.)
TBC