Always….

Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi or any of its characters, etc.

Tamahome set the receiver down and turned to look at the woman sitting on the small couch of his hotel suite.

                "That was Miaka. She'll be here in ten minutes." He said softly.

                "I think I should go." Kat said, getting to her feet and smoothing her skirt.

                "No wait."

                Kat's eyes lifted and met those of the man she had fallen for so quickly. "This was…a bad idea. You shouldn't have called me back to the car and I shouldn't have come back. I…you'd think I would have learned my lesson about getting involved with attached men."                 Her smile faltered as the thought of Charles caused a stab of pain to pierce her heart. After a relationship that had last three years she had found out he was already married and had been for five years. Memories of her stupidity and blindness caused her face to flush and she reached for her pocketbook, trying to hide the tears that had filled her eyes.

                "I..I don't want you to go." Tamahome said, barely above a whisper. "I'll tell Miaka about us."

                "There is no us." She replied sadly.

                "I think we both know that isn't true." He paused. "Look, a long time ago Miaka told me she loved me after only knowing me a day or so. We were both young and I always wondered how she could know something like that in such a small amount of time- hell, she didn't even know me then. But now," Taking Kat's hand in his he brought it to his mouth and brushed his lips across her wrist. "Now… I think I  know how it happened." He whispered the words, his eyes adding many more things that his mouth hadn't expressed aloud.

                Tears that she had been holding back silently slipped from Kat's eyes as she slowly withdrew her hand from his. Oh how she wanted to believe that this wonderful man was in love with her, but that didn't change the fact that he was engaged to Miaka…and that she had been burned by an attached man not too long ago, an experience that had taught her to be wary of appearances.

                "I have to go." She repeated, but allowed herself to caress his cheek one last time before making her way to the door.  As she turned to walk away, Tamahome's hand shot out and closed around her upper arm. Her eyes closed and she released a ragged breath as she savored his touch.

                "I'll call you." He promised firmly and even though she knew it was wrong and that there was no hope for them, Kat nodded her consent and quickly left the hotel room.

*******************

                An hour and a half after Kat had left and his fiancée' had arrived, Tamahome rubbed his tired eyes and sighed heavily. From the moment Miaka had walked through his room door, they had done nothing but argue.

                The main topic, of course, was her eventual move to Japan. For some reason she would not disclose to him, Miaka suddenly wanted to move immediately, an occurrence that he was not prepared for and did not welcome for  reasons he could not explain just yet.

                "Look, Miaka, just tell me what's going on. Did you get fired from your job or something?"

                Miaka blinked and shook her head. "No."

                "Then why the sudden change of heart? I know when I was here just last week you didn't want to move at all, now all of a sudden you want to leave in two days."

                "I…I…well…I've been thinking about what you said and realized you were right. This long distance thing isn't working we both know that. You already have a terrific job offer in Japan and there's really no reason why I can't transfer back to the corporate office there." She answered, avoiding his gaze.

                "I thought you said you weren't needed there." He replied softly.

                "Well…I…don't you want me to move back to Japan?" Miaka asked irritably.

                Tamahome stared at the woman who had been his whole world for over ten years now. The years had been kind to her, changing her cute perkiness into a beauty that was almost too much for words.

However, even though her face didn't show the strain,  he had finally realized the past few years had been hard on her- no, on them. As the years they had spent together played through his mind, it hit him that he had been selfish and a bit unkind to Miaka more than a few times. Blinded by his need to prove to her and himself that he could protect her in her strange world, he had become obsessed with that purpose, to the exclusion of all else, including Miaka's and his own happiness.

                 His gaze dropped to the diamond ring he had saved over a month for and a pang of guilt stabbed him. He had never even properly asked her to marry him- but being the kind of  woman she was, Miaka had never  complained about it. He felt tears form behind his eyes as he realized somehow in all these years he had fallen out of love with the one woman he swore he would never leave.  Instead of the passion he once held for Miaka, he now knew he only felt a brotherly concern at most, even though he owed her so much more than that.

                "Of course I want you to move back." He finally answered, over the lump in his throat. Turning aside he inconspicuously wiped his eyes. "Look, if you want it to happen that soon, I can change your plane tickets and then when you come up for my graduation we can go ahead and  move into the apartment I found for us. I have some money saved up so I'll go ahead and put in the deposit."

***********************

                Miaka stared at the alarm clock as it buzzed, barely blinking as she reached over to slowly turn it off. She had slept little, if at all, the night before and dreaded facing the new day. There were many preparations that would have to be made for her trip back to Japan and she wasn't looking forward to any of them.

                Throwing the light blanket off her body, she got out of bed and stiffly made her way to the bathroom. She grimaced when she saw her reflection in the mirror, as she realized that no amount of makeup would disguise the dark circles under her eyes.

                Tears suddenly blurred her vision and she grasped the edge of the sink tightly. Could she really go through with giving up the life she had built here? It was true that Tetsuya had given her a job when no one else would, but she had proven she was good at her job and she loved it. She had learned to take care of herself, no longer depending on others to see after her well being. She had even gone so far as to take self defense classes for over a month.

                Now she would be going right back into the situation she had tried so hard to break free from. There was no doubt in her mind that Tamahome would insist that she quit her job. Sure, he told her she could simply transfer back to the corporate office but she knew it would only be a matter of time before he suggested she quit.

                She would also be giving up her independence. Here she had her own apartment, a savings account, and looked forward each night to cooking her dinner and sitting down to watch TV before falling asleep. A pretty boring life by most people's standards, but it was a life she loved.

                Blinking the tears out of her eyes, she took a deep breath and forced herself to relax her hands. The decision had been made and there was no turning back now; the only thing she could do to make it easier was to set everything into motion as soon as possible before she changed her mind.

************

                An hour later Miaka entered her office building, a satchel firmly grasped in her hand. She nodded to her co-workers as she made her way to the elevator, her stride purposeful and her head high.

                The doors of the elevator swished open at her floor and she stepped out, and then froze, as she saw the couple standing outside her office door.

                Nick and Tanya stood close together, laughing at something they were saying that Miaka could not hear. As she watched, the petite blonde hit Nick's arm playfully and he reached up to brush the hair from her cheek.

                Miaka's grasp tightened on her bag and she could feel tears burning behind her eyes even as the heat of anger filled her face. How dare he! Not twenty-four hours ago he had been holding her in his arms, kissing her passionately. He had brushed her hair back in exactly the same way ! And now… he actually  had the nerve to hit on her assistant!

                Taking a deep, calming breath, she forced her heavy feet to walk forward as she saw Nick lean down to whisper something to the smiling girl.

                "Good morning." She said as she approached.

                Nick slowly straightened, his lips curving into a smile. Tanya looked down at her feet, a blush staining her pale cheeks.

                "Just the woman I came to see." Nick said cheerfully, as his eyes met hers.

                "Oh really? It looked to me as if you'd already found who you were looking for." Miaka answered, arching an eyebrow.

                His smile faded slowly, then turned into a small frown as his gaze darted back and forth between the two women.

                "I…I'll see you tonight, Nick." Tanya stammered, after shooting a quick glance at Miaka's cold expression. She quickly turned and headed down the hallway.

                "I have a lot to do today, so let's make this quick." Miaka said tersely as she brushed past Nick and walked  into her office.

                "Yeah… ok." He followed her into the office and closed the door behind him. "This seems to be a pattern, but I wanted to apologize to you for yesterday."

                "Apology accepted." She replied, busying herself by pulling papers from her satchel. "Close the door on your way out please."

                Nick stood there for a moment, a look of confusion upon his face. "You all right?" He finally asked.

                "I'm fine, why?"

                "Well, I know what I did yesterday was wrong but I don't think it deserves the cold shoulder I seem to be getting." He said defensively. "I thought that above all else we were still friends, and could work this out together."

                Miaka shrugged. "Apparently yesterday meant as little to you as it did me so I don't see how there is anything to work out."

                His face darkened. "What are you talking about? You know good and well that it meant something….to both of us! What's going on, Miaka?"

                "It meant so much to you that the first thing I see when I get here today is you groping my assistant!"

                Nick's mouth opened then shut with a snap. His jaw tightened as anger filled his gaze. "First of all I was not groping your assistant…we were talking! Second of all, what do you care? You've made it pretty clear you don't want me!"

                "I don't care!" She cried, throwing down the papers in her hands. "Do you whatever you want! It's not like I have any claim on you."

                "I think you do care." He retorted, advancing into the room. "And I think you're jealous. Make up your mind, Miaka. You either want me or you don't, but don't expect me to sit around waiting while you make up your mind! Tanya asked me to a movie tonight and I agreed to go. If you have a problem with that, maybe you should re-evaluate your own relationship."

                "What's that supposed to mean?"
                "It means that you don't love Tamahome and you know it!"

                "W-We aren't talking about Tamahome or my relationship. Actually, we're not talking about anything! I want you to leave!" Miaka snapped.

                Nick glared at her angrily before giving a curt nod. "Fine." He bit out, and stalked from the room, slamming the door loudly behind him. Only then did  Miaka fall into her chair and allow her head to drop into her hands as tears of frustration flowed down her cheeks.

****************

                "Maybe we should call it a night."

                The softly spoken comment broke into Nick's reverie, causing him to look down at his date in surprise.

                "Something wrong?" He asked in concern, when he saw the sad look on her face.

                Giving him a small smile, Tanya shook her head. "Not with me, but I can tell you aren't having a very good time."

                Nick put an arm around her shoulders and he hugged her briefly. "I'm having a great time, silly. What makes you think I'm not?"

                Tanya stopped their stroll and turned to him with a frown. "Please don't patronize me, Nick. I can tell your mind is definitely somewhere else." She paused and cleared her throat nervously. "You're in love with her aren't you?"

                Nick's mouth opened to issue a protest then shut it and nodded slowly. "Yeah I am." He admitted with a sigh. They began to walk again and he continued. "Kind of stupid of me to fall in love with someone who's already spoken for, wasn't it?"

                "You mean that fiancé of hers, don't you? Well let me tell you something about those two…do you know that Miaka had a birthday not too long before the two of you started working together?  She received phone calls all day and lots of flower deliveries. But not once did her fiancé call and he didn't even send her any flowers!" Tanya told him quietly. "And furthermore, although Miaka asked me all day if her brother or her friend had called yet, not once did she ask about her fiance! I think that says a lot, don't you?"
                "Yes, I think so,." Nick began, but his voice trailed off as he caught site of a couple exiting a nearby car. As he stared at the now passionately embracing couple, Nick's face flamed as anger and confusion built within him. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks… but it sure looked as if his baby sister was having the daylights kissed out of her by Miaka's fiancé.

****************

                Miaka entered her apartment and threw her keys onto a nearby table, happy to be home at last. Exhaustion had seeped into her bones and she knew it was more than just the hard day she had put in at work. Flopping down on the couch, she pulled up her legs underneath her and laid her head back against the couch's back and reviewed the events of the day.

              After Nick had left so angrily she had done the only thing she was able to at the time-she cried. There was no doubt in her mind that she had lost Nuriko all over again. There was no way they could mend their relationship now and it appeared, by the way Nick had been comfortably teasing her assistant this morning, that he would not miss her when she left.

                But what if she didn't leave? What if she told Tamahome she couldn't and wouldn't give up her career? What if she told him she wouldn't marry him?

                Strangely, the thought caused her heart to warm as well as a giddy feeling of excitement. She frowned up at the ceiling,  thoughts circling erratically in her head. Why did the thought of freeing herself from Tamahome excite her so much? And why did she think of staying in America as 'freeing' herself from the man she loved so dearly? 

                Nick's hotly spoken words of that morning came back to echo in her head and she closed her eyes. Was it true? Did she not love Tamahome the way she used to?

******************

                Nick lay in bed staring at the barely lit ceiling, thoughts of his fight with Miaka and the sight of his sister in the arms of Tamahome rerun themselves in his mind.  Faint light flooded in from the street lamp outside his bedroom window but otherwise his apartment was as dark as his present mood.

                After seeing the two together he had quickly led Tanya in the other direction, not wanting Kat to see him. He had the strange urge to keep this knowledge to himself for the moment and didn't know why. The largest reason being that he hated thinking badly of his sister and was afraid of how she would explain being in the arms of another woman's man. To his way of thinking, as long as he didn't confront her about it, he could draw his own safe conclusions. However wrong that might be he could live with it.

                The second reason for his silence was purely selfish. Perhaps if he didn't interfere and let things run their course, Miaka would discover Tamahome's infidelity and end the relationship. The perfect opportunity for him to make his move. The ramifications of such actions both excited and filled him with guilt.

                Despite whatever guilt he felt, he did not call Kat that night. Instead he had immediately gone to bed and here he still was. He hadn't closed his eyes all night, silently debating with himself about telling Miaka what he had seen.

                Turning his head he looked at the glowing red digits of his alarm clock and sighed as he sat up. Just as he was getting to his feet the phone rang shrilly, causing him to jump violently.

                "Yeah?" He answered somewhat irritably.

                "What makes you think I'm not in love with Tamahome?" A feminine voice asked quietly.

                "Miaka? What the hell? It's four in the morning! Are you all right?"

                "Please answer my question. This morning you said that I don't love Tamahome anymore. What makes you think that?"

                Running a hand through his tousled hair, Nick sighed. "Hell, a lot of things. Maybe the way the two of you were at lunch the other day, the way you refused to meet his eyes, the way you barely said two words to him, the way you touched my hand whenever you could but shied away from his every gesture." He paused to take a breath , his free hand coming to his hip. "But most of all…maybe it's because I have this feeling like I've seen the two of you together long before this and I know things aren't the same as they were." He finished softly.

                "I see."

                A long silence fell between them. Finally, and just as Nick was thinking about confessing to her what he'd seen between his sister and Tamahome, Miaka spoke.

               "Nick, I wanted to tell you that I'm leaving in two days to go back to Japan with Tamahome. You and I can still work together, of course, but it will have to through emails and phone calls. If you'd rather have another editor that lives closer to you, I'll understand."

                "Y-You're leaving?" Nick's heart skipped a beat, and then sank.

                "Yes…Tamahome has already found us an apartment." Miaka continued brightly, although she was unable to disguise the underlying tears in her voice. "I've already spoken to Tetsuya and he said I could have my old position back. It…it's better this way, Nick. I-I'll probably see you before I leave."

                "Wait!" He cried, before realizing he was talking to a dead line. It was too late, she had already hung up.

                After throwing the phone across the room in anger, Nick suddenly realized he was crying. He briskly wiped the moisture from his cheeks, and then he did the only thing that had ever given him comfort in his twenty-eight years on earth-he sat down and poured his heartache into a story.

                Sitting in front of this computer, his fingers flew across the keyboard as he wrote about a boy who had watched as his sister had been run over by a horse. How that tragic death had caused him to become his little sister to keep her memory alive. The little boy eventually became a young man and entered the Emperor's harm, still disguised as his dead little sister. There he fell in love with the handsome Emperor until one day a girl from another world came to snatch the Emperor's attention from him. He had hated the young girl who dressed and talked so strangely until one day he discovered he had fallen in love with her himself. For her he had shed his façade and faced the world as the man he was, only to be killed soon after. He died in the snow as his beloved cried above him.

                He wrote until the sun came up and then some, not stopping until he came to the very end of the story as he knew it. When at last  he finished the tale, Nick flexed his cramped fingers as he read over what he had written. As he did so, long repressed memories started to surface, and he cried out with the rush of emotions and realizations they brought with them.

                He, Nick Casey, had once been Ryuuen Cho, otherwise known as the celestial warrior Nuriko. All the pieces had fallen into place now…and Nick laughed triumphantly as he realized what it all meant.

                He had done it-he had kept his promise to Miaka! He had found her again just as he said he would.

              But to what end?

                Things between them now were almost exactly as they were then. Miaka loved Tamahome and Nick loved her. She and Tamahome would be married soon and she would be leaving her life here to return to Japan.

              Unless….

                Suddenly more excited that he had been in a long time, Nick quickly hit the print button on his keyboard, and then went to dig out some clean clothes from a pile in the floor.

09/02/02 Author's Note: Well, I was going to wait and include this on the next chapter posted but decided to go ahead and add it to this one. I want to say a huge thank you to each and every person who has left such wonderful reviews and send emails about this story. I have to admit; when I first started writing this I was nervous about posting it. I wasn't sure how people would take the fact that Nick was a romance novelist and at the time I rarely saw Nuriko x Miaka pairings. I told a very good friend of mine about my idea and she told me I must write this story, no if's and's or but's about it. LOL So thank you, KittyLynne, for encouraging me to go for it. I have both loved and hated writing this. Loved it because I love Nuriko and was able to portray him the way I think of him. As a man who is sexy as hell and has desires just like any other man. The only thing I've hated about writing this story is I know it must end. Anyway, I ramble on ~_^ Thank you again for all the reviews and I hope you enjoy the remaining chapters.