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LOD: The Book of Rambles
Insanity at it's best: Ramble 2-- Obsession? Albert!
Character obsession at it's best!! hehe!! Again- hell with spelling. These are rambles for the love of god. Typos just add to the fear factor...
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Lloyd: .... Rose?
Rose: Babe?
Lloyd: He's... still doing it....
Rose: Errr?
-Rose blinks oddly from the middle of their cyber tavern, and turns her head to look at Albert. The king of Serdio is, in quite the steady fashion, slamming his head against the far wall-
Rose: ..... Wow. How long has it been, now?
Lloyd: At least four hours... and it's starting to freak me out.
Rose: *yawns and lays down on a nearby couch* So go... slap him or something. I'm gonna take a nap until Rap's arrives.
LLoyd: uuuhhhh... *looks at Albert warily* Could i just, like, snuggle up with you or anything for-
Rose: *EYE BULGE*
Lloyd: *pales* heh!!
- the handsome wingy scoots away and wanders over to... Albert.-
Albert: BLAST! **SLAM** KILL! I'll KILL that evil little **SLAM** evilness! **SLAM** QUEEN!!
Lloyd: *freaked* WHAT!? Emily!?
Albert: *MASSIVE EYE TWITCH* NO you incompetent excuse for a flying potato!! **SLAM**
LLoyd: .... *looks at Rose*
Rose: No, Lloyd- i didn't understand that either.
-Lloyd stares at Albert for a few seconds, then shuffles around and watches him continue to beat his head on the wall. Finally, he decides to try what Rose suggested.-
LLoyd: *pulls back hand* Albert!
Albert: *turns* Wha-!?
Lloyd: *SLAP*
Rose: *jumps up* YOU DUMB ASS!!! he's UNSTABLE!!!
Lloyd: HEY!!? you TOLD Me tooo!!!!! *lip quiver* Why is everyone being so MEAN to me!?
Rose: I... NOOOO!!!!! *points*
Lloyd: WHAT!? What is it!?
--Albert attacks him with a chainsaw--
Lloyd: OOOMMGGGGG!!!!!!!
Albert: MWHAHAHHHAHAHHH!!!!
Rose: *leaps up from the couch and tackles Albert to the floor* STOP!! my GOD!!! *begins to shake him continuously*
Lloyd: *kicks away the chainsaw* And HOW DID HE GET THAT!? The Psychiatrist told us to keep NO DANGEROUS ITEMS INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!
Albert: BURN!!! *lights a match under Rose, and her hair goes up in a ball of fire*
-Rose begins to screams and run around frantically-
Lloyd: I GOT IT!! *jumps Rose*
Rose: MMmmff!!!
Lloyd: heh. SMOTHERED! *poof*
Rose: *lip quivers and Lloyd helps her up, dusting ash from her hair*
--the both turn and stare at Albert, who has returned to his wall--
Lloyd: ..... Holy crap.
Rose: ..... yeah. seriously. he used to be such a nice king...
Lloyd: But.. why?
Rose: oh shut up. Like I said, Rap's is coming over tonight. She started the condition, and she worsens the condition.
Lloyd: huh. *aims a ball of magic fire at Albert's head* I can always just end it all no-
Rose: *SLAP*
Lloyd: *sniff*
Rose: Do that- And Rap's will destroy US. now shut up, siddown, and try to ignore him...
-Albert continues to slam his head against the wall. Only about five minutes later, and a car pulls up outside, right off the internet highway.--
Rose: *sweatdrop* it's.... HER.
Lloyd: okay.. okay... Albert IS here afterall- she won't attak ME- she'll attack HIM!
Rose: just don't make direct eye contact... if you do she might leap on you anyways, got that!?
Lloyd: *nods*
--a hand jiggles the doorknob outside--
Rose: Hold me!
Lloyd and Rose: *clutch and tremble*
--the hand continues to jiggle the doorknob--
Rose: .... er?
???? from outside: BAHH!!!! BOOGENHAGEN BAH BAH BOOGENHAGEN!!!
Lloyd: your sure that aint Meru?
Rose: hah- not a chance. After Rap's became fixated on the word *boogenhagen* when reading Quistis K's story... well... it's become a part of her normal vocabulary.
Lloyd: And the *BAH!?*
Rose: *shrugs*
--violent door knob jiggling ensues--
Lloyd: okay- now this is just lame.
Rap's: *from outside* @#($&@(*&#$^@ DOOR!? HOW DARE YOU DEFY... uh- ME!!! tHE RAPTOR QUEEN OF RUTHA!!!!!???? I shall HAVE YOUR HEAD MOUNTED UPON MY THRONE!!!!
Rose: *shouts* IT'S A @#(&$(@ DOOR RAP'S!!!
--silence--
Rap's: OH!! *kicks in the door* HIYA EVERYBODY!!!
All: .....
Rap's: MWHAHAHH!!! it took me a little bit to get here and all with that traffic- but whatever!! speed bumps are FUUUUNNN!!!! *throws her luggege in the room- one of which hits Rose over the head, and prances inside*
Lloyd: *freaks* ROSE!?
Rose: nNNnnn-ah? NNnoooooogggeeyyy?
LLoyd: *SCREAM*
Rap's: *bliks, having heard Lloyd scream* GASP!? Ah yes!! My precious Wingly!! LLOYD!! HOW ADORABLE YOU ARE!!! *leans down and gives a tail wiggle- ready to pouce*
Lloyd: NO!! *points* LOOK!! ALBERT!!!
Rap's: *turns on heel* DOUBLE GASP!? My Angel!?
Albert: *stops his masichistic head bonking and looks at Rap's. His eyes open wide in utter, complete, TOTAL horror.*
Rap's: *smile*
Albert: Y... y.... y... y.... YOU!
Rap's: ME!!!
Albert: YYOOOOUUUU!!!!! *points at her* YOU!!!!
Rap's: MMMEEE!!!!! MWHA HA!!! *leaps for him*
albert: *screams and backs up into a corner. Rap's glomps him with ease.*
--from the open door, all the other dragoons file into the room. Dart is looking ill, Shana is weeping quietly, Miranda is cussing, eating an apple, and cussing some more, haschel is dressed in pink, Meru is driving a tricicle, kongol is dressed like a clown,Doel...
All: DOEL!?
Rap's; YES! I LIKE Doel! Doel is a GOD!!! *wraps herself around Albert's waist as he continues to scream*
Doel: MWhAAHAH!!! *points at his Nephew* WUSS!!
Albert: DIE!! *throws a gerbil at him*
All: ......
Dart: yeah, well... ANYWAY... *wanders over to where Lloyd is trying to Revive Rose.* Sorry we all ran late. Shana thought we hit a turtle on the way down here (it was only a leaf) and we had to stop in at various clinics to check if a wounded turtle had been brought in. Then kongol saw a circus.... and after he decided to make a circus act haschel and MEru became his lackys. And MIRANDA- *stops when lloyd kicks him in the leg*
Lloyd: SHUT UP!!! Cant you see SHES HURT!?
Rose: Lloooooooogggeeyyyyyy booooogaaa!!!! *te he he!!* BOOOOGGGAA!!!
Dart: Holy &*#&.....
--Suddenly, lavits wanders into the room, and lloyd freezes--
Lloyd: NO....
Lavits: *spots him* HEY!!!
LLoyd: Stumbles away from Rose and Grabs his head. One arms shoots out and points at Rap's* I THOUGHT SHE WASN'T GOING TO BRING HIM!!!
Miranda: @#($&(@*#& Who? @#& lavits?
Lloyd: ye.. yes!! Everyone knows that when we.... we are in a ramble together... we can't... stop...
Lavits: *jogs up* DUDE!!!
Lloyd: *broken instaltly* DUDE!!!
Lavits and Lloyd: DDUUUUDDEEEE!!!
All: OMG.
Shana: SHIT!
All: ..... *assorted cabbages hits Shana on the head- and she dies*
Dart: SHANA!!!! *assorted paperclips hits Dart on the head, and he dies.*
LLoyd: *pulls out pokemon cards, indifferent to the deaths of Shana and Dart. Frankly- no one notices* DUDE!! POKEMON!! Lets play!!
Lavits: DUDE!! that is so cool!! i have my deck too!!
Lloyd: DUDE!?
Lavits: SERIOUSLY DUDE!!!!
Lavits and Lloyd: DUUUUUDDEEEEEE!!!
Haschel: What the hell ever happened to all that arch enemy stuff and whatnot?
Rap's: TRIVIAL, my friends! TRIVIAL!! Afterall, it is *I* who writes this ramble, and it is *I*I who holds powers within!! Albert- * yanks his ponytail* come.
Doel: Wooo- thats harsh.
Rap's: DOEL- *grins at him coyly*
Doel: Shutting up...
Rap's: *settles on one of the couches- arms still attached to Albert's middle. He, in the meantime, who is simply gazing off into space* NOW- i brought you all here today to discuss a VERY important topic.
Haschel: MY MARRIGE TO BARBRA STRISAND!!??? OMG!! Rap's- you SHOULDNT have!!!
Rap's: wtf. Okay? just WTF.
Haschel: but... but i want you all to come!! there are many preparations and- *One of Dee's patented Toilets knocks haschel dead to the floor*
Meru: ehhe!! Man- He's just having no luck with staying alive lately...
Kongol: KONGOL WANT SEAT. *sits on haschel*
All: ....
Rap's: okay.. whatever. We are all going to talk about my gettiing married!! See- haschel was KINDA RIGHT!!
Rose: BOOOOGGAAA TOOOOOOOOooooommmhhppppeee!!!!
Rap's: *laughs* EXACTLY Rose! I'm getting married to Albert!!!
All: .......
Rap's; CLAP! you worthless DOGS!!
All: *quiet clapping*
Rap's: Yes, i KNEW you would approve!!
Lloyd: *coughs* uh- RAP"S!!! he;'s kinda Married to EMILY... REMEMBER!? .. OH!! CHARIZARD!! *throws a card down on the mat he and Lavits are playing on* HA!!
Lavits: DAMN!!
Rap's: tch!! Emily Smemily. I sent her to el paso, erased her memory, and now she's living with Russel Crow.
Doel: Ah yes... my evil twin.... ehhehe..
Meru: ... Doel?
Doel: Shut up.
Rap's: SO!? All!? What do you think???!
All: .....
Rap's; DO i HONESTLY have to cut in with the worthless dog thing again!?
Miranda: *sigh* RAP"S!!! it's not that!! Will you stop being insane and just LOOK AT HIM!!?? *jerks Albert from her grasp and wiggles his limp body* he's ttally gone!! you've fried his brain!! GAME OVER!! VEGITABLE!! COFFEE OVERLOAD!!!
Rap's: HE IS NOt!! *grabs Albert back* look- see!? Don't you agree with me, Angel!? *coughs and nudges Albert fowards. His head slumps down* HAHHH!!!
Miranda: *eye roll*
Rap's: *growls* LOOK- I killed Haschel for some weird reason- and I LIKE HIM. You I just HATE- So shut up or become FODDER.
Miranda: *edges away*
Rap's; Its setled then. im getting married to albert. hah.
--Somewhere deep, deep DEEP inside the subconsious mind of the poor, distrought king of Serdio, something very freaky clicks, overturns, and shatters altogether as he hears Rap's speak of this coming doom.... let us hope it is not his last threads of sanity, yes?--
Albert: *wakes up, looks at Rap's, and blinks*
Rap's: hiya Angel!
Albert: ELEPHANT MOCHA FRAPPACHINO'S!!!
--Yep. He's a total loon.--
Rap's: Okay?
Albert: DIE!!! *pounces on her* YOU!!! EVIL!! FREAK!! NATURE!!! DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!! EVIL FREAK!! DIE!!! FREAK!!! NATURE DIE!!!! FREAK!!!!
All: .....
Miranda: So.. he went from having the largest vocabulary of all of us, to a limit of three words?
Meru: I guess. Should we help Rap's?
Doel: of course not. *throws Albert a Flame thrower*
Lavits and Lloyd: *oblivious*
Albert: THROWER OF FLAME!? *catch* FLAMING THROWER!? HAH!!! *uses some weird form of fanfiction enabled magic to change outfits. Rap's, Meanwhil, is just looking at him oddly*
Rap's: Angel... if you want to flame things im all for that. its a favorite passtime actually.. but... I....... uh....???
Albert: FLAME ELEPHANT BOOGENHAGEN!! *fluffs a pink dress and pets the cat that is attached to his hair*
ALL: O...M.....G......
Rap's: ..... Okay, I'm speechless. Even I didn't see the cat-in-the-hair thing coming. Honestly.
Albert: *backflips off the couch and torches the pokemon cards. Traces of evil spit up from the dying embers. Afterall, they ARE pokemon*
Lavits: DUDE!? TCh!! Albert- WHAT THE HELL!?
Lloyd: YEAH!! seriously!! *blinks as the king turns on them* uh.. heh...?
Albert: BURN MENTHOS FRESHNESS!!! *flames* BUURNNNNNNN!!!!
--Everyone runs around screaming- and Rap's dives behind the coffee table--
Rap's; heheh!!! *giggles* BURn Angel!! BUUURRNNNNN!!!
Albert: BURN!
Doel: You stupid psychopath! DIE!!
Albert: Moogles!? *throws the cat in his hair at Doel*
Doel: WTF!?
Cat: *eats his face*
Doel: OOMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Meru: EEEEEeeiiiiiiii!!! DONT JUST SIT THERE!! Somebody DO something!!!!!
--very suddenly, all the lights go out--
All: *freaked*
lloyd: okay.. just.. stay together....
Lavits: GOD!! Were Doomed!!
kongol: *begins to cry*
Rap's; MWHAHAHAHH!! This is so FUNNN!!!!
Doel: WHAT!?
--the lights suddenly turn back on, and yet are very dim...--
Meru: *backs up* Ooooo.... I don't see Albert Anywhere... i can only... hear that CAT...
Doel: *shrugs* Well he SHOULD be easy to see. the guy is wearing PINK for god's sake. *slaps himself* i have the most SCREWED UP family...
Meru: okay.. fine.. but...
Albert: *forms out of a wall*
All: *SCREAM*
Albert: BURN!!
--the running continues--
--Outside, Rap's is sitting on the roof to the tavern, yawning and kicking snow with her feet. She can hear easily all the screaming below, and giggles happily.--
Rap's: I give them five minutes before al hell breaks loose and they chop you to bits.
Albert: Is that so? *sips some coffee* Damned sadist.
Rap's: *bats eyes* I AM N... Oh! thanks. *coughs* it's a good thing I'm always cloning you. Once one clone goes insane after a period of my affections- i always have two in reserve... and then the real you- of course.
Albert: Hnnn.... *eyes her warily* your a mean one....
Rap's; *pouts* Not uh!!! Although- Whaddaya think about that marrige proposal huh? *nudge* NIFTY!!!!! Come on- huh huh huh!? ya wanna get married!? Do ya!?!?
Albert: You really HAVE no life, do you?! Sitting around all day, writing ludicrous stories that involve cats, pink dresses, and marrige proposals to created character designs?!
Rap's: Yeah, so!?
Albert: ....... (.... she is SUCH a freak....)
Rap's: I READ THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE!!!
Albert: Yeah....
Rap's; WELL!? about US!?
Albert: *pushes Rap's off the roof, onto shrp rocks. She dies*
Rap's: *revivs herself and stomps back up to the roof* @#($*&@(# THAT!! NO KILLING ME!!! IT'S NOT NICE!!! just because Im IMMORTAL does NOT mean you get to use that to your sick, twisted ideas of advanta- *Albert shoves her off the roof again. She dies*
Albert: *snicker*
Rap's: *climbs back up* YOU @#($&@(@#(& @#(& I'm gonna @(#&$( your (@#&$(-!!!!
Albert: *shoves her off the roof again*
Rap's: @#($&@(*#&$@(*!!!!!
Albert: hehehehh......
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THE END!!!!!!
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