DEEP TALK
Authors: Damngunnyshot and LeE
Classification: Romance, Some Humor H/M
Disclaimers: JAG doesn't belong to us. It belongs to DPB and CBS. We were just having some fun...
A.N. from Shannon: When Lilly suggested writing a story together, I figured 'oh sure, that'll be fun. Lilly's a great writer. Shouldn't take us too long'. Two outta three ain't bad, right? It *was* fun and you *are* a great writer, and I would like to thank you for being a great co-author! Your humour has gotten me through this experience and it has been a pleasure to work with you. You, the readers, may notice inconsistencies with spellings of certain words. This used to be a direct result of an American (Lilly) co-authoring with a Canadian (me), although I think I'm rubbing off on her-she's starting to spell like a Canadian :-) LOL!!
A.N. from Lilly: Well, what a ride huh Shannon? We certainly had fun writing this, and you're right: it *was* fun, and it *did* take us longer than we expected, but hey! We got it done! :) I guess with both of us being beta readers as well as writers, it was bound to take a little longer...:) Well, if it were for me, this story would've been 1,000 pages long, so I know for a fact we never would've gotten all the ideas in paper had it not been for my great co-author that always kept us on the right track when the ideas were flying everywhere. Thanks Shannon!! As for my "inconsistencies" in spelling, well I can neither confirm nor deny that rumour (rumor?) LOL...
Feedback: If you feel inclined to do so, please send feedback to Lilly at lee_81881@yahoo.com or to Shannon at damngunnyshot@yahoo.com Thanks!
AN 2: Well, guys. Shannon and I agreed not to post yesterday as we agreed that there were other things that deserved our attention in a day of remembrance like 9/11. So, because of this, we've agreed to post two parts today. Part 7 will follow later on today. Enjoy....
*FROM PART 5*
"Where are you, Mac?" he whispered repeatedly, oblivious to AJ and Sturgis who were intently gazing at him, concern etched on their faces. Standing up, AJ walked over to the kitchen to get Harm a glass of water, and Sturgis followed.
"Sir, what do you really think?"
"Sturgis, if Mac doesn't make it out of this, I'll be looking for two new lawyers." Sturgis simply nodded. Harm's earlier display of emotions was more than enough for them to realize the truth. Harm had said it himself. His life went as far as Mac's. If she didn't make it, Harm would stop living as well.
PART 6
THURSDAY MORNING
JAG HEADQUARTERS
Harm was frantic. He had virtually no sleep since Monday and it showed in his sunken eyes and sallow complexion. Almost twenty years of naval service had kept him from forgetting to shave and groom before going in to JAG; it was an automatic reflex to do so. He ignored the looks of concern from his co-workers and dragged his sorry six into his office for another day of pretending to care about work.
He checked in again with Webb, only to hear yet again that Webb had no more information than Harm. He called Leavenworth again, knowing what the answer would be. How bizarre for Mac to disappear without a trace. No note, no phone call, no ransom or other demands, no clue, no luck. Harm pushed the papers around on his desk, remembering back to his favourite moments with Mac: the day they met; her determination to support him in his effort to find his father and her support when he did; the first time he held her in his arms at a ball; each of the three times he'd felt her lips on his, Norfolk, the Admiral's porch and under the Roberts' mistletoe; watching her kick his Navy six around in the Courtroom; and his favourite memory, making The Deal. He thought back to Baby AJ's birth and did the math. "Two more years, Marine, less than two years. But you have to come back first."
"Two more years until what, Harm?"
The familiar voice, husky and feminine at the same time, caused Harm to whip his head up. Before him stood the object of his fantasies. He pushed back from his desk, causing his chair to turn over, and practically jumped over the desk to wrap her in his arms. "Sarah, oh God I've been worried about you. Where have you been? Are you ok? Let me see..."
Mac had no idea what Harm was talking about but she enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms. She had noticed the strange looks everyone had given her on her way in and thought 'what, a person can't be late once in 6 or 7 years?' Those looks and Harm's reaction set off something in her mind. She shuffled Harm into his office and closed the door behind them. "Harm, not that I'm not glad that you're happy to see me, but what's going on? It was just wisdom teeth!"
With a hand on each of Mac's shoulders, Harm pulled away from her. "Wisdom teeth?! But. But. Mac, what, do you, we've, I've-wisdom teeth?" He picked up the phone and hit the Admiral's extension. "Sir, she's here. Yes, in my office. She seems to be fine, Sir. Aye aye Sir."
He turned to Mac. "Do you have any idea how worried we've all been?" Before Mac had a chance to comment any further AJ burst through the door with Sturgis right behind him.
"Colonel, do you realize that you are about an hour away from being reported UA? Explain yourself Colonel, and make it good. I don't appreciate my Chief of Staff just flitting off on her own and leaving the rest of my office in shambles." AJ boomed, trying to hide his personal concern by pointing to her military duties.
Mac snapped to attention. "Sir! I had emergency oral surgery on Tuesday morning to remove my bottom wisdom teeth. It was suggested to me by the oral surgeon to stay home on Wednesday as well to deal with the pain and swelling. Sir!"
Harm couldn't stay silent any longer. "Well, damn it Mac, ET phoned home, why the hell couldn't you?!"
Using his SEAL training to stifle his laughter at Harm's comment, AJ carried on. "The Commander has a good point, Mac. Why didn't you call in?"
"Sir, I did call in. I left a message with Tiner first thing Tuesday morning letting him know I would be in emergency surgery and that I'd be staying at a friend's house on Wednesday. I even left the number where I could be reached, since my cell phone wasn't working." Mac stood at attention and stared at the wall past them.
Harm was exasperated, and truthfully, a little angry at Mac. Why hadn't she called him? Who drove her from the hospital back home after the surgery? Who had taken care of her? A friend from law school? What friend? Male or female? Darting his eyes back towards Mac, the memory of their last conversation-or should he say fight- came back to him, he quickly realized why she hadn't called, why she hadn't wanted him around. Guilt. Lately, it was like that was the only emotion he was allowed to feel.
"Mac, why didn't you call me?" He asked, lowering his voice. The Admiral was there, but after he had blurted out his inner most intimate feelings about Mac to his commanding officer a few nights back, well, he really wasn't all that concerned about the Admiral finding anything out. Mac, who was still standing at attention, was simply thunderstruck. Harm knew why she hadn't called him, he had to know after the awful debacle at the office on Monday.
"Why didn't I call you?" she stated, and watched as the Admiral averted his eyes and pretended not to know what was going on as he mumbled an "at ease" to her.
"Yes, Mac. Why didn't you tell *me*?" This time, he couldn't keep the hurt from clearly showing in his tone. Opening and closing her mouth a few times, she tried to come up with something to say, but there were other people in the room. Why would Harm want to get into it right then and there? He continued, oblivious to her apprehension.
"Mac, I know we had a pretty bad argument the other day, but..."
"Harm, you look like hell" she exclaimed, her eyes going wider still as she took in his appearance. The Admiral shook his head and Sturgis simply smiled knowingly. Harm and Mac were some spectacle. The world could be crumbling before their very eyes, but their concern for each other always came first.
"What? What do you mean I... well, I didn't shave today, and maybe I... oh hell... I was just so worried about you" he finished quickly and scooped her up in his arms once again. Relaxing in his embrace, she prayed they could get past the horrible words they'd said to each other, and finally get it right.
The Admiral and Sturgis simply looked on, with content smiles on their faces. Realizing it was neither the time nor place for the new lovebirds to declare undying love to each other, Sturgis made his presence known by calling Tiner's extension. "Petty Officer Tiner, would you please join us in Commander Rabb's office for a moment. Thank you." He turned to the others in the office. "I think we can clear this up very quickly after all. Colonel, I think I speak for all of us when I say that it is a relief to see you here unharmed. Ah, Tiner, please come in. We understand that you took a message from Colonel Mackenzie on Tuesday morning."
Tiner confirmed that he had in fact taken a message from Mac and that message had gone into the Admiral's urgent mail pile which he had delivered to the Admiral immediately after the staff meeting.
"Tiner, I didn't receive that message. Are you sure it was in that pile?" AJ asked.
"Yessir. The message was between Lt. Singer's fitness rep and Commander Jackson's transfer papers."
"Talk about being in the depths of hell. No wonder it disappeared," mumbled Harm.
Tiner smirked before continuing. "Pink message slip, sir, same as always. I made sure it was in your office before I left for the day." Tiner's memory for filing and paperwork was nearly flawless and AJ had no reason to doubt his memory in this case. After his doctor's appointment on Tuesday, Tiner had requested to have Wednesday off to go visit his grandmother who was very ill. The Admiral had granted his request, thinking that with Harriet in the office, and the lighter case load of the week it shouldn't be a problem.
"Very well, Tiner. Thank you." he said. Dismissed, Tiner left Harm's crowded office with a sigh of relief.
AJ sighed. " Well I know I didn't receive the message and I have no doubt that Tiner left the message where he said it was. Somehow the message didn't get to me. Colonel, given these circumstances and the fact that you are okay, I will choose to ignore this incident. However, it would be appreciated if you would leave a voice mail or email in the future."
"Aye aye Sir" Mac replied. After AJ and Sturgis had satisfied themselves that Mac was indeed all right after her surgery, they left Harm and Mac in the office together. She knew that she needed to start making amends.
"Harm, look. I'm really sorry about the things I said to you on Monday. They were just mean and I had no right to say anything like that to you, of all people. I've been really upset with myself since that day because I'd be lost without you in my life in some shape or form and I'm afraid that I've messed it up permanently and I only hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me." She looked up at Harm with large brown eyes and Harm fell in love with her all over again. He was helpless against those eyes and he knew that he would spend the rest of his life giving in to them. . But he was okay with that thought. Actually, it pleased him to think it.
"Aww, Mac, I'm sorry too. I said some truly nasty things to you too that I had no business saying. I'm just glad that you're safe."
"Harm--"
He looked in Mac's eyes once again and saw the pleading in their depths. He realized that she needed to hear the words. "Sarah, I forgive you. Will you forgive me?" She nodded as she buried her face in his chest and mumbled "Hallmark moment number 428" making him laugh. "Oh Sarah, I do love you."
Stunned, Mac pulled her head away from Harm's chest. Afraid to look up and afraid to not look, she stood there staring at his broad chest wrapped in her favourite Navy uniform, the summer whites.
Harm, too was stunned at his revelation. As he stood there, looking down at her, his heart swelled with joy, even when his head was telling him he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. Listening to the conflicting opinions of his heart and mind had never felt like such a huge burden before. But now, with the love of his life so close, physically and emotionally, he could do nothing but let his heart finally get the last word. Somewhere in his mind, the words he'd said to Sturgis and the Admiral echoed. Somewhere in his dazed mind he knew there had to be a rational way to back pedal, to go back on his words, on his actions. However, he also knew, by experience, that all the reason in the world would never keep him warm at night. He knew that all the rules and regulations were not reasons, they were excuses. And finally, for the first time in his life, it was completely clear to him what he wanted; what he needed; Sarah Mackenzie.
Quickly, he realized that the hard part was over and that it really hadn't been that hard after all. Caressing Mac's chin, he put his forefinger underneath her chin and nudged it up so he could see her eyes. "Baby, I'm serious. I know it's neither the time nor the place, but I do love you. I always have and I always will. I won't spout off cheesy lines like you complete me or you're the jelly to my peanut butter, but you *are* the single most important part of my life, bar none. I have done nothing but harass Webb the last couple of days. I've requested adjournments on all of my applications. My reports are behind. I'm afraid to add up the number of emails and voice mails I've accumulated. But you're safe so the rest doesn't matter." After hearing him call her "baby" she'd tried to concentrate on everything else he'd said.
"I don't know what to say, Harm. It almost sounds to me like I have my answer from the Guadalcanal. You said some things to me on Monday that were true, though. You said that I should learn to love myself enough to be honest to the men in my life and to myself. You were right, Harm. I didn't think enough of myself to send Mic on his way, or even Dalton. But I've learned a lot in the past year Harm, and the biggest thing I've learned is I DO deserve to have someone who will love me and respect me unconditionally. I deserve to have someone who will allow me to share my life with him while maintaining my own identity. It's taken me many years to figure it out but I DO deserve you, Harm."
Harm looked into her brown eyes and said nothing. Mac looked into his green eyes and said nothing. Just as she was going to turn away, Harm leaned past her and flicked the blinds closed. "I love you Ninja Girl" was all he said before he touched his lips to hers. "I love you Flyboy" she said as she leaned in for more.
Tempting as the idea was to just run away from JAG and spend the entire day together kissing and holding each other, Mac and Harm pulled themselves apart. Harm opened the blinds to his office again so that Lieutenant Busybody wouldn't have any ammunition against them. Noting that Singer was marked on the main board as 'out' he asked Mac for a lunch date. What he didn't realize was that Lieutenant Singer wasn't the only set of ears he needed to concern himself with.
JUST BEFORE LUNCH
SAME DAY
Mac was so intent on her work that she didn't notice the shadow fall across her desk as someone filled her doorway. She didn't feel the intense gaze piercing into her, at least, not at first. Finally, her conscious listened to her screaming subconscious and she looked up at the person who was studying her. "Hi. Can I help you?" she said.
"I'm just wondering if we're still on for lunch" he said with an enormous grin.
"I don't recall that we had made plans, Commander. I'm sorry, but I won't be able to join you today. Perhaps another time."
"Oh but we did have plans, Mac. Remember? I love you, Flyboy? Lunch at Beltway? Ringing any bells yet Ninja Girl? Maybe we can go flying in my biplane afterwards. Did I ever tell you I have a Stearman? Just got it a few years ago. It's yellow."
"Mac, is everything ok?" Harm shoved his way into Mac's office. He saw the colour draining from her beautiful face and that concerned him.
"Come on Mac, time's a wasting." Jackson continued, ignoring Harm's presence completely.
Mac looked at Harm, her eyes pleading with him. "Harm, I-"
"Damn you, Mac, I said LET'S GO!" Jackson yelled. Harm got really annoyed then and turned to the doorway. No one yelled at Mac. No one. "Back off, Commander," he said.
"Listen, Rabb, I have a lunch date with my best friend here, so if you'll excuse me we have to go. There's some vegetables and dead cow waiting for us. For the last time, Mac, get a move on. If I have to tell you one more time you'll be sorry."
Harm had had enough. "No, YOU listen, Jackass. I don't know what sort of sick game you're playing here, but game over."
"Who's playing games? Hey, look, I gotta run. I'm buying a plane and I want to go and look her over before I put the money down. Catch y'all later!" With that strange turnaround, Jackson turned and left.
Harm turned to Mac with a disturbed expression. "What was that about?" he asked her as they left her office for lunch.
"I don't know, Harm, it's almost like he thought-. Never mind, it's silly. But I do think he overheard us in your office earlier." The thoughts running through her mind gave her the creeps and she felt a chill run up her spine.
"Mac? What do you think he thought?" Harm pressed her, while thinking 'Great, now I sound like that Phoebe girl'
The elevator dinged its arrival and opened its doors. Harm placed his hand on Mac's lower back as they got on. Once the doors closed, his hand went to her other side and pulled her in close. "Hold that thought for a minute" he said as he leaned in to kiss her. Mac didn't know whether it was the movement of the elevator or Harm's tongue that made her feel weak-kneed as the doors slid open on the main floor, but she smiled to herself as she decided it was definitely Harm. 'Wonder how weak-kneed I'll be when he uses his tongue elsewhere' she thought before answering Harm's original question.
"It sounds kind of silly, Harm, but I get the impression that the Commander wishes he was you. He used words that you said to me in your office, he even used the same voice inflections that you use. If I hadn't looked up to see him, I might have thought that he was you, with a sore throat or something." Having said that, she looked up at her handsome partner and plastered a Cheshire sized grin on her face. "And if I've said it once I'll say it again, the world can't handle more than one Harmon Rabb Jr.!"
Pleased at the sight of a genuine smile gracing Mac's features, Harm couldn't help but to laugh along with her. "The world or you?"
Mac came back with a snicker and said "I'm a Marine, Harm. I can handle it. It's the rest of the world I'm worried about."
TBC
Authors: Damngunnyshot and LeE
Classification: Romance, Some Humor H/M
Disclaimers: JAG doesn't belong to us. It belongs to DPB and CBS. We were just having some fun...
A.N. from Shannon: When Lilly suggested writing a story together, I figured 'oh sure, that'll be fun. Lilly's a great writer. Shouldn't take us too long'. Two outta three ain't bad, right? It *was* fun and you *are* a great writer, and I would like to thank you for being a great co-author! Your humour has gotten me through this experience and it has been a pleasure to work with you. You, the readers, may notice inconsistencies with spellings of certain words. This used to be a direct result of an American (Lilly) co-authoring with a Canadian (me), although I think I'm rubbing off on her-she's starting to spell like a Canadian :-) LOL!!
A.N. from Lilly: Well, what a ride huh Shannon? We certainly had fun writing this, and you're right: it *was* fun, and it *did* take us longer than we expected, but hey! We got it done! :) I guess with both of us being beta readers as well as writers, it was bound to take a little longer...:) Well, if it were for me, this story would've been 1,000 pages long, so I know for a fact we never would've gotten all the ideas in paper had it not been for my great co-author that always kept us on the right track when the ideas were flying everywhere. Thanks Shannon!! As for my "inconsistencies" in spelling, well I can neither confirm nor deny that rumour (rumor?) LOL...
Feedback: If you feel inclined to do so, please send feedback to Lilly at lee_81881@yahoo.com or to Shannon at damngunnyshot@yahoo.com Thanks!
AN 2: Well, guys. Shannon and I agreed not to post yesterday as we agreed that there were other things that deserved our attention in a day of remembrance like 9/11. So, because of this, we've agreed to post two parts today. Part 7 will follow later on today. Enjoy....
*FROM PART 5*
"Where are you, Mac?" he whispered repeatedly, oblivious to AJ and Sturgis who were intently gazing at him, concern etched on their faces. Standing up, AJ walked over to the kitchen to get Harm a glass of water, and Sturgis followed.
"Sir, what do you really think?"
"Sturgis, if Mac doesn't make it out of this, I'll be looking for two new lawyers." Sturgis simply nodded. Harm's earlier display of emotions was more than enough for them to realize the truth. Harm had said it himself. His life went as far as Mac's. If she didn't make it, Harm would stop living as well.
PART 6
THURSDAY MORNING
JAG HEADQUARTERS
Harm was frantic. He had virtually no sleep since Monday and it showed in his sunken eyes and sallow complexion. Almost twenty years of naval service had kept him from forgetting to shave and groom before going in to JAG; it was an automatic reflex to do so. He ignored the looks of concern from his co-workers and dragged his sorry six into his office for another day of pretending to care about work.
He checked in again with Webb, only to hear yet again that Webb had no more information than Harm. He called Leavenworth again, knowing what the answer would be. How bizarre for Mac to disappear without a trace. No note, no phone call, no ransom or other demands, no clue, no luck. Harm pushed the papers around on his desk, remembering back to his favourite moments with Mac: the day they met; her determination to support him in his effort to find his father and her support when he did; the first time he held her in his arms at a ball; each of the three times he'd felt her lips on his, Norfolk, the Admiral's porch and under the Roberts' mistletoe; watching her kick his Navy six around in the Courtroom; and his favourite memory, making The Deal. He thought back to Baby AJ's birth and did the math. "Two more years, Marine, less than two years. But you have to come back first."
"Two more years until what, Harm?"
The familiar voice, husky and feminine at the same time, caused Harm to whip his head up. Before him stood the object of his fantasies. He pushed back from his desk, causing his chair to turn over, and practically jumped over the desk to wrap her in his arms. "Sarah, oh God I've been worried about you. Where have you been? Are you ok? Let me see..."
Mac had no idea what Harm was talking about but she enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms. She had noticed the strange looks everyone had given her on her way in and thought 'what, a person can't be late once in 6 or 7 years?' Those looks and Harm's reaction set off something in her mind. She shuffled Harm into his office and closed the door behind them. "Harm, not that I'm not glad that you're happy to see me, but what's going on? It was just wisdom teeth!"
With a hand on each of Mac's shoulders, Harm pulled away from her. "Wisdom teeth?! But. But. Mac, what, do you, we've, I've-wisdom teeth?" He picked up the phone and hit the Admiral's extension. "Sir, she's here. Yes, in my office. She seems to be fine, Sir. Aye aye Sir."
He turned to Mac. "Do you have any idea how worried we've all been?" Before Mac had a chance to comment any further AJ burst through the door with Sturgis right behind him.
"Colonel, do you realize that you are about an hour away from being reported UA? Explain yourself Colonel, and make it good. I don't appreciate my Chief of Staff just flitting off on her own and leaving the rest of my office in shambles." AJ boomed, trying to hide his personal concern by pointing to her military duties.
Mac snapped to attention. "Sir! I had emergency oral surgery on Tuesday morning to remove my bottom wisdom teeth. It was suggested to me by the oral surgeon to stay home on Wednesday as well to deal with the pain and swelling. Sir!"
Harm couldn't stay silent any longer. "Well, damn it Mac, ET phoned home, why the hell couldn't you?!"
Using his SEAL training to stifle his laughter at Harm's comment, AJ carried on. "The Commander has a good point, Mac. Why didn't you call in?"
"Sir, I did call in. I left a message with Tiner first thing Tuesday morning letting him know I would be in emergency surgery and that I'd be staying at a friend's house on Wednesday. I even left the number where I could be reached, since my cell phone wasn't working." Mac stood at attention and stared at the wall past them.
Harm was exasperated, and truthfully, a little angry at Mac. Why hadn't she called him? Who drove her from the hospital back home after the surgery? Who had taken care of her? A friend from law school? What friend? Male or female? Darting his eyes back towards Mac, the memory of their last conversation-or should he say fight- came back to him, he quickly realized why she hadn't called, why she hadn't wanted him around. Guilt. Lately, it was like that was the only emotion he was allowed to feel.
"Mac, why didn't you call me?" He asked, lowering his voice. The Admiral was there, but after he had blurted out his inner most intimate feelings about Mac to his commanding officer a few nights back, well, he really wasn't all that concerned about the Admiral finding anything out. Mac, who was still standing at attention, was simply thunderstruck. Harm knew why she hadn't called him, he had to know after the awful debacle at the office on Monday.
"Why didn't I call you?" she stated, and watched as the Admiral averted his eyes and pretended not to know what was going on as he mumbled an "at ease" to her.
"Yes, Mac. Why didn't you tell *me*?" This time, he couldn't keep the hurt from clearly showing in his tone. Opening and closing her mouth a few times, she tried to come up with something to say, but there were other people in the room. Why would Harm want to get into it right then and there? He continued, oblivious to her apprehension.
"Mac, I know we had a pretty bad argument the other day, but..."
"Harm, you look like hell" she exclaimed, her eyes going wider still as she took in his appearance. The Admiral shook his head and Sturgis simply smiled knowingly. Harm and Mac were some spectacle. The world could be crumbling before their very eyes, but their concern for each other always came first.
"What? What do you mean I... well, I didn't shave today, and maybe I... oh hell... I was just so worried about you" he finished quickly and scooped her up in his arms once again. Relaxing in his embrace, she prayed they could get past the horrible words they'd said to each other, and finally get it right.
The Admiral and Sturgis simply looked on, with content smiles on their faces. Realizing it was neither the time nor place for the new lovebirds to declare undying love to each other, Sturgis made his presence known by calling Tiner's extension. "Petty Officer Tiner, would you please join us in Commander Rabb's office for a moment. Thank you." He turned to the others in the office. "I think we can clear this up very quickly after all. Colonel, I think I speak for all of us when I say that it is a relief to see you here unharmed. Ah, Tiner, please come in. We understand that you took a message from Colonel Mackenzie on Tuesday morning."
Tiner confirmed that he had in fact taken a message from Mac and that message had gone into the Admiral's urgent mail pile which he had delivered to the Admiral immediately after the staff meeting.
"Tiner, I didn't receive that message. Are you sure it was in that pile?" AJ asked.
"Yessir. The message was between Lt. Singer's fitness rep and Commander Jackson's transfer papers."
"Talk about being in the depths of hell. No wonder it disappeared," mumbled Harm.
Tiner smirked before continuing. "Pink message slip, sir, same as always. I made sure it was in your office before I left for the day." Tiner's memory for filing and paperwork was nearly flawless and AJ had no reason to doubt his memory in this case. After his doctor's appointment on Tuesday, Tiner had requested to have Wednesday off to go visit his grandmother who was very ill. The Admiral had granted his request, thinking that with Harriet in the office, and the lighter case load of the week it shouldn't be a problem.
"Very well, Tiner. Thank you." he said. Dismissed, Tiner left Harm's crowded office with a sigh of relief.
AJ sighed. " Well I know I didn't receive the message and I have no doubt that Tiner left the message where he said it was. Somehow the message didn't get to me. Colonel, given these circumstances and the fact that you are okay, I will choose to ignore this incident. However, it would be appreciated if you would leave a voice mail or email in the future."
"Aye aye Sir" Mac replied. After AJ and Sturgis had satisfied themselves that Mac was indeed all right after her surgery, they left Harm and Mac in the office together. She knew that she needed to start making amends.
"Harm, look. I'm really sorry about the things I said to you on Monday. They were just mean and I had no right to say anything like that to you, of all people. I've been really upset with myself since that day because I'd be lost without you in my life in some shape or form and I'm afraid that I've messed it up permanently and I only hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me." She looked up at Harm with large brown eyes and Harm fell in love with her all over again. He was helpless against those eyes and he knew that he would spend the rest of his life giving in to them. . But he was okay with that thought. Actually, it pleased him to think it.
"Aww, Mac, I'm sorry too. I said some truly nasty things to you too that I had no business saying. I'm just glad that you're safe."
"Harm--"
He looked in Mac's eyes once again and saw the pleading in their depths. He realized that she needed to hear the words. "Sarah, I forgive you. Will you forgive me?" She nodded as she buried her face in his chest and mumbled "Hallmark moment number 428" making him laugh. "Oh Sarah, I do love you."
Stunned, Mac pulled her head away from Harm's chest. Afraid to look up and afraid to not look, she stood there staring at his broad chest wrapped in her favourite Navy uniform, the summer whites.
Harm, too was stunned at his revelation. As he stood there, looking down at her, his heart swelled with joy, even when his head was telling him he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. Listening to the conflicting opinions of his heart and mind had never felt like such a huge burden before. But now, with the love of his life so close, physically and emotionally, he could do nothing but let his heart finally get the last word. Somewhere in his mind, the words he'd said to Sturgis and the Admiral echoed. Somewhere in his dazed mind he knew there had to be a rational way to back pedal, to go back on his words, on his actions. However, he also knew, by experience, that all the reason in the world would never keep him warm at night. He knew that all the rules and regulations were not reasons, they were excuses. And finally, for the first time in his life, it was completely clear to him what he wanted; what he needed; Sarah Mackenzie.
Quickly, he realized that the hard part was over and that it really hadn't been that hard after all. Caressing Mac's chin, he put his forefinger underneath her chin and nudged it up so he could see her eyes. "Baby, I'm serious. I know it's neither the time nor the place, but I do love you. I always have and I always will. I won't spout off cheesy lines like you complete me or you're the jelly to my peanut butter, but you *are* the single most important part of my life, bar none. I have done nothing but harass Webb the last couple of days. I've requested adjournments on all of my applications. My reports are behind. I'm afraid to add up the number of emails and voice mails I've accumulated. But you're safe so the rest doesn't matter." After hearing him call her "baby" she'd tried to concentrate on everything else he'd said.
"I don't know what to say, Harm. It almost sounds to me like I have my answer from the Guadalcanal. You said some things to me on Monday that were true, though. You said that I should learn to love myself enough to be honest to the men in my life and to myself. You were right, Harm. I didn't think enough of myself to send Mic on his way, or even Dalton. But I've learned a lot in the past year Harm, and the biggest thing I've learned is I DO deserve to have someone who will love me and respect me unconditionally. I deserve to have someone who will allow me to share my life with him while maintaining my own identity. It's taken me many years to figure it out but I DO deserve you, Harm."
Harm looked into her brown eyes and said nothing. Mac looked into his green eyes and said nothing. Just as she was going to turn away, Harm leaned past her and flicked the blinds closed. "I love you Ninja Girl" was all he said before he touched his lips to hers. "I love you Flyboy" she said as she leaned in for more.
Tempting as the idea was to just run away from JAG and spend the entire day together kissing and holding each other, Mac and Harm pulled themselves apart. Harm opened the blinds to his office again so that Lieutenant Busybody wouldn't have any ammunition against them. Noting that Singer was marked on the main board as 'out' he asked Mac for a lunch date. What he didn't realize was that Lieutenant Singer wasn't the only set of ears he needed to concern himself with.
JUST BEFORE LUNCH
SAME DAY
Mac was so intent on her work that she didn't notice the shadow fall across her desk as someone filled her doorway. She didn't feel the intense gaze piercing into her, at least, not at first. Finally, her conscious listened to her screaming subconscious and she looked up at the person who was studying her. "Hi. Can I help you?" she said.
"I'm just wondering if we're still on for lunch" he said with an enormous grin.
"I don't recall that we had made plans, Commander. I'm sorry, but I won't be able to join you today. Perhaps another time."
"Oh but we did have plans, Mac. Remember? I love you, Flyboy? Lunch at Beltway? Ringing any bells yet Ninja Girl? Maybe we can go flying in my biplane afterwards. Did I ever tell you I have a Stearman? Just got it a few years ago. It's yellow."
"Mac, is everything ok?" Harm shoved his way into Mac's office. He saw the colour draining from her beautiful face and that concerned him.
"Come on Mac, time's a wasting." Jackson continued, ignoring Harm's presence completely.
Mac looked at Harm, her eyes pleading with him. "Harm, I-"
"Damn you, Mac, I said LET'S GO!" Jackson yelled. Harm got really annoyed then and turned to the doorway. No one yelled at Mac. No one. "Back off, Commander," he said.
"Listen, Rabb, I have a lunch date with my best friend here, so if you'll excuse me we have to go. There's some vegetables and dead cow waiting for us. For the last time, Mac, get a move on. If I have to tell you one more time you'll be sorry."
Harm had had enough. "No, YOU listen, Jackass. I don't know what sort of sick game you're playing here, but game over."
"Who's playing games? Hey, look, I gotta run. I'm buying a plane and I want to go and look her over before I put the money down. Catch y'all later!" With that strange turnaround, Jackson turned and left.
Harm turned to Mac with a disturbed expression. "What was that about?" he asked her as they left her office for lunch.
"I don't know, Harm, it's almost like he thought-. Never mind, it's silly. But I do think he overheard us in your office earlier." The thoughts running through her mind gave her the creeps and she felt a chill run up her spine.
"Mac? What do you think he thought?" Harm pressed her, while thinking 'Great, now I sound like that Phoebe girl'
The elevator dinged its arrival and opened its doors. Harm placed his hand on Mac's lower back as they got on. Once the doors closed, his hand went to her other side and pulled her in close. "Hold that thought for a minute" he said as he leaned in to kiss her. Mac didn't know whether it was the movement of the elevator or Harm's tongue that made her feel weak-kneed as the doors slid open on the main floor, but she smiled to herself as she decided it was definitely Harm. 'Wonder how weak-kneed I'll be when he uses his tongue elsewhere' she thought before answering Harm's original question.
"It sounds kind of silly, Harm, but I get the impression that the Commander wishes he was you. He used words that you said to me in your office, he even used the same voice inflections that you use. If I hadn't looked up to see him, I might have thought that he was you, with a sore throat or something." Having said that, she looked up at her handsome partner and plastered a Cheshire sized grin on her face. "And if I've said it once I'll say it again, the world can't handle more than one Harmon Rabb Jr.!"
Pleased at the sight of a genuine smile gracing Mac's features, Harm couldn't help but to laugh along with her. "The world or you?"
Mac came back with a snicker and said "I'm a Marine, Harm. I can handle it. It's the rest of the world I'm worried about."
TBC