DEEP TALK 7/10
Authors: Damngunnyshot and LeE
Classification: Romance, Some Humor H/M
Disclaimers: JAG doesn't belong to us. It belongs to DPB and CBS. We were just having some fun...
A.N. from Shannon: When Lilly suggested writing a story together, I figured 'oh sure, that'll be fun. Lilly's a great writer. Shouldn't take us too long'. Two outta three ain't bad, right? It *was* fun and you *are* a great writer, and I would like to thank you for being a great co-author! Your humour has gotten me through this experience and it has been a pleasure to work with you. You, the readers, may notice inconsistencies with spellings of certain words. This used to be a direct result of an American (Lilly) co-authoring with a Canadian (me), although I think I'm rubbing off on her-she's starting to spell like a Canadian :-) LOL!!
A.N. from Lilly: Well, what a ride huh Shannon? We certainly had fun writing this, and you're right: it *was* fun, and it *did* take us longer than we expected, but hey! We got it done! :) I guess with both of us being beta readers as well as writers, it was bound to take a little longer...:) Well, if it were for me, this story would've been 1,000 pages long, so I know for a fact we never would've gotten all the ideas in paper had it not been for my great co-author that always kept us on the right track when the ideas were flying everywhere. Thanks Shannon!! As for my "inconsistencies" in spelling, well I can neither confirm nor deny that rumour (rumor?) LOL...
Feedback: If you feel inclined to do so, please send feedback to Lilly at lee_81881@yahoo.com or to Shannon at damngunnyshot@yahoo.com Thanks!
AN2: There is an NC-17 version available for this story. If you'd like to read it, e-mail me at lee_81881@yahoo.com with an age statement confirming you're 18 or older, or you can access it at the yahoo lists "shipperhm" or "jaghm" ... Enjoy..
FROM PART 6
"It sounds kind of silly, Harm, but I get the impression that the Commander wishes he was you. He used words that you said to me in your office, he even used the same voice inflections that you use. If I hadn't looked up to see him, I might have thought that he was you, with a sore throat or something." Having said that, she looked up at her handsome partner and plastered a Cheshire sized grin on her face. "And if I've said it once I'll say it again, the world can't handle more than one Harmon Rabb Jr.!"
Pleased at the sight of a genuine smile gracing Mac's features, Harm couldn't help but to laugh along with her. "The world or you?"
Mac came back with a snicker and said "I'm a Marine, Harm. I can handle it. It's the rest of the world I'm worried about."
PART 7
HARM'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION
THURSDAY EVENING
The smooth leather couch made a familiar noise as Harm gently shifted to settle more comfortably with his Marine in his arms. Mac offered a happy sigh as she felt Harm's body cradle her own in an intimate embrace. They fit so perfectly together, and it seemed they'd been like that for years.
"Harm?"
"What is it, honey?" Mac smiled at his words. She'd never let anyone she'd been with call her anything like that. The closest had been Mic, and how it annoyed her when he called her "luv". But now, coming from Harm, it was music to her ears. Good music.
"Harm, didn't you notice how Sturgis and the Admiral were acting this morning? And you! You were ready to talk everything out at the office, right in front of our CO. What gives, flyboy?" At once she felt the tension invade his body, and she frowned as he attempted to speak.
"Uhh, well, you see..." Harm took a long deep breath and figured he might as well tell her the whole story before Sturgis did. "Mac, Tuesday night, when we couldn't find you, I was a wreck. The Admiral had Sturgis and I over at his house, and we went over your recent case files, old cases, trying to find suspects, anything to try and find you."
"Oh, Harm, I'm so sorry I didn't..."
"Shh.. let me finish, please" she nodded and he continued "Well, while we were there, Sturgis and the Admiral apparently were in a chatty mood, and I was so tired and so worried about you, I didn't even know what I was saying. All I heard was how you could be lost to me forever and I would never have the chance to tell you I loved you, to hold you, to make love to you..."
"You told them? All that?" Mac asked amazed at the information she was learning about the events during her absence.
"Well, kind of. See, they kept asking why we'd never talked, why I'd never told you, what was wrong with me, with us, and I just didn't want to go lying to our CO about the true reason why Bud came back from Australia with a wired jaw, so I just spilled it, Mac. I told them I loved you, and, well..."
"So, the Admiral knows? And Sturgis?" Mac suddenly gasped "Did Sturgis tell you anything? About me? I mean..."
"No, he just said that you deserved to know about my feelings and... wait, what would Sturgis tell me?"
"Uhh, well, I blurted out to him a few months back that I was in love with you" Mac finished and buried her face in his chest, suddenly embarrassed at the admission.
"All this time he knew and didn't tell me. You just wait 'til I see him, we'll have a little talk him and me" Harm teased and laughed as he saw Mac start to protest until she figured out he was pulling her chain.
"I love you" he said sincerely and bent down to place a soft kiss on her lips. Smiling, they broke apart, and once again Mac snuggled deep into her Sailor's arms. Long minutes passed, and they seemed to be simply enjoying finally being together. But even through the perfection of the moment, Harm's fears of a relationship with Mac were still there, bubbling, threatening to overtake him once again.
"I'm so sorry, Mac" Startled at the tone in his voice Mac looked up at him, piercing him with those soft brown eyes he loved so much.
"What are you sorry for, Harm? I think we already settled that the fight on Monday was both of us, and not just you..."
"No Mac, it's not that. It's... I... I went looking for you on Tuesday. It was after lunch time, and there was no sign of you, and we had fought the day before and I didn't check on you and..." Mac stopped him with a gentle hand to his cheek, and turning all the way in his embrace, she faced him, her gaze soothing him while reminding him of all the past week's events.
"Harm, breathe and tell me what happened"
"Mac, I... I went to your apartment, and then well... I... looked for you at McMurphy's... I... well, I didn't know and... I had to check, I had to make sure you weren't... well..."
Mac smiled tenderly at him, but not before the hurt flashed in her eyes. Harm was grateful for her smile, and he knew she understood why he'd done it, but he'd also seen the pain in her eyes.
"Harm, it's okay..."
"No Mac, it's not okay. I... the last thing I want to do is hurt you by doubting you. Mac, that's the only reason it took me so long to tell you, that's why it took thinking I'd lost you for me to finally realize that I well... I was just afraid Mac. I still am...."
"What are you afraid of Harm? That I'll go back to the bottle every time we have a disagreement?" The last thing she wanted to do was let him see how much his doubts affected her, how she felt untrustworthy.
"No! No, that's not it at all. Mac, I don't want to hurt you, but I'm afraid I can't stop myself from doing just that. I love you, Sarah. I've loved you for so long now and yet I've still managed to cause you so much pain. I'm afraid I just don't know how to love you any better." The sadness in his beautiful voice tore at her heart, and at once she knew that in spite of his imperfections, his faults, and his fears, the day would never come when he didn't love her with all he had.
The first tones of the song fluttered across the room as Mac looked deep into Harm's captivating eyes, amazed at the love and devotion she found in them. "Dance with me, Harm" she uttered softly as she stood up and pulled him with her. Immediately, Harm's arms reached for her, and she indulged in the amazing sensations being in his strong embrace evoked.
"Mac...Sarah..."
"Shhh..." she whispered, a soft finger to his lips silenced him "Just listen" and closing their eyes, they both swayed to the music as the feeling of complete contentment washed over them.
I've never been so certain, I've never been so sure
We're on the side of angels, if we believe this love is pure.
Is it so hard to trust it, 'cause we've been wrong before?
There comes a time in every life, we find the heart we're waiting for.
After all the might-have-beens
The close and distant calls.
After all the try-agains
Don't be afraid to fall.
We're on the side of angels, after all.
Harm tightened his hold on her, feeling she might vanish if he let her loose even a little. A million things had been racing thorough his mind just seconds before, but now, with the woman he loved in his arms, he finally felt whole, he finally felt complete. God help him, but if he'd ever been sure of anything, it was that he couldn't let her go. Not after this moments of pure heaven in her arms.
Every time you touch me,
don't you feel it too?
The gentle hand that's guiding us,
You to me, me to you.
After all the might-have-beens
The close and distant calls.
After all the try-agains
Don't be afraid to fall.
We're on the side of angels, after all.
This time was different. Mac was not Diane, Annie, Jordan, or Renee. They were meant to be together. They were soulmates. So many years of fears and hesitation, and with one song and an 'I love you' from the woman he loved the walls around his heart began to finally crumble.
Pulling back from him, she took his face in her hands, tenderly caressing his jaw line with her nose. "I don't need you to love me any better. Just love me, Harm. Don't be afraid. I'm not afraid...not anymore" Mac whispered, tears welling up in her eyes as she looked up at him and was surprised to find his gorgeous aquamarine eyes threatening to spill down his cheeks.
"Sarah, I..." He was trying desperately to make her understand, grasping at words and thoughts that fluttered around in his brain, but nothing came out.
"Harm, we've both made mistakes, and because of those mistakes we've fought, and cried, and hurt a lot the past few years. But Harm, we're human and we'll always mess up. Love doesn't make the mistakes go away, but it makes them part of our past. I don't want a perfect Harmon Rabb. I love you just the way you are, and all I'm asking is for the same in return." Gently tightening her hold on his face, her bright brown eyes pleaded with him "Please, Harm. Don't be afraid anymore."
The softness of her touch, the acceptance in her words, the love in her eyes, it was all too much for him and he crushed her to him once more, leaving her little room to breathe as he buried his head in her neck, kissing repeatedly the soft skin and indulging in the scent that was strictly hers.
"I'll try my best, sweetheart. I promise you, I'll try... I love you, Sarah."
"That's all I need, Harm. That's all I've ever wanted."
Harm simply nodded, words escaping him as he memorized the feel of her in his arms. Long minutes passed and his hold on her hadn't loosened. The gentle glow of the lighting coupled with the moonlight peering in through the window seemed to cast the spell on the two colleagues, best friends, and soon to be lovers. Those lips that had been instrumental in their battles in court, essential in those conversations that always ended in vast misunderstandings... those same lips were now aiding, helping to form trails of soft butterfly kisses along the base of her neck.
Gently, Harm moved his big hands down to caress her the way he'd always dreamed of, while his low husky voice invaded her ears as he explored every uncovered inch of her delightful skin. Time stretched as they took the time to revel in the feel of each other's bodies, the time to commit these first touches, these first intimate motions to memory.
"Oh, Sarah..." and Harm just couldn't seem to stop whispering, calling her, and consequently, Mac couldn't stop the trembling in her entire body every time he spoke her name.
**********
Some time later, they lay together, after following each other into the world of loving pleasure they'd created.
"Harm, promise you'll let me love you forever" Mac whispered against his neck, minutes after their worlds had merged into one.
Reaching her angelic face with a hand he traced her features with a gentleness he never knew he was capable of. "I promise. I'll love you forever, Sarah" and offering a bright contented smile, she claimed his lips once more, trying to figure out how she'd gone so long without having him this way. Minutes later, nestled in his strong protective arms, Mac gave into the peaceful slumber, knowing this perfect night was the start of their future... together.
TBC
Authors: Damngunnyshot and LeE
Classification: Romance, Some Humor H/M
Disclaimers: JAG doesn't belong to us. It belongs to DPB and CBS. We were just having some fun...
A.N. from Shannon: When Lilly suggested writing a story together, I figured 'oh sure, that'll be fun. Lilly's a great writer. Shouldn't take us too long'. Two outta three ain't bad, right? It *was* fun and you *are* a great writer, and I would like to thank you for being a great co-author! Your humour has gotten me through this experience and it has been a pleasure to work with you. You, the readers, may notice inconsistencies with spellings of certain words. This used to be a direct result of an American (Lilly) co-authoring with a Canadian (me), although I think I'm rubbing off on her-she's starting to spell like a Canadian :-) LOL!!
A.N. from Lilly: Well, what a ride huh Shannon? We certainly had fun writing this, and you're right: it *was* fun, and it *did* take us longer than we expected, but hey! We got it done! :) I guess with both of us being beta readers as well as writers, it was bound to take a little longer...:) Well, if it were for me, this story would've been 1,000 pages long, so I know for a fact we never would've gotten all the ideas in paper had it not been for my great co-author that always kept us on the right track when the ideas were flying everywhere. Thanks Shannon!! As for my "inconsistencies" in spelling, well I can neither confirm nor deny that rumour (rumor?) LOL...
Feedback: If you feel inclined to do so, please send feedback to Lilly at lee_81881@yahoo.com or to Shannon at damngunnyshot@yahoo.com Thanks!
AN2: There is an NC-17 version available for this story. If you'd like to read it, e-mail me at lee_81881@yahoo.com with an age statement confirming you're 18 or older, or you can access it at the yahoo lists "shipperhm" or "jaghm" ... Enjoy..
FROM PART 6
"It sounds kind of silly, Harm, but I get the impression that the Commander wishes he was you. He used words that you said to me in your office, he even used the same voice inflections that you use. If I hadn't looked up to see him, I might have thought that he was you, with a sore throat or something." Having said that, she looked up at her handsome partner and plastered a Cheshire sized grin on her face. "And if I've said it once I'll say it again, the world can't handle more than one Harmon Rabb Jr.!"
Pleased at the sight of a genuine smile gracing Mac's features, Harm couldn't help but to laugh along with her. "The world or you?"
Mac came back with a snicker and said "I'm a Marine, Harm. I can handle it. It's the rest of the world I'm worried about."
PART 7
HARM'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION
THURSDAY EVENING
The smooth leather couch made a familiar noise as Harm gently shifted to settle more comfortably with his Marine in his arms. Mac offered a happy sigh as she felt Harm's body cradle her own in an intimate embrace. They fit so perfectly together, and it seemed they'd been like that for years.
"Harm?"
"What is it, honey?" Mac smiled at his words. She'd never let anyone she'd been with call her anything like that. The closest had been Mic, and how it annoyed her when he called her "luv". But now, coming from Harm, it was music to her ears. Good music.
"Harm, didn't you notice how Sturgis and the Admiral were acting this morning? And you! You were ready to talk everything out at the office, right in front of our CO. What gives, flyboy?" At once she felt the tension invade his body, and she frowned as he attempted to speak.
"Uhh, well, you see..." Harm took a long deep breath and figured he might as well tell her the whole story before Sturgis did. "Mac, Tuesday night, when we couldn't find you, I was a wreck. The Admiral had Sturgis and I over at his house, and we went over your recent case files, old cases, trying to find suspects, anything to try and find you."
"Oh, Harm, I'm so sorry I didn't..."
"Shh.. let me finish, please" she nodded and he continued "Well, while we were there, Sturgis and the Admiral apparently were in a chatty mood, and I was so tired and so worried about you, I didn't even know what I was saying. All I heard was how you could be lost to me forever and I would never have the chance to tell you I loved you, to hold you, to make love to you..."
"You told them? All that?" Mac asked amazed at the information she was learning about the events during her absence.
"Well, kind of. See, they kept asking why we'd never talked, why I'd never told you, what was wrong with me, with us, and I just didn't want to go lying to our CO about the true reason why Bud came back from Australia with a wired jaw, so I just spilled it, Mac. I told them I loved you, and, well..."
"So, the Admiral knows? And Sturgis?" Mac suddenly gasped "Did Sturgis tell you anything? About me? I mean..."
"No, he just said that you deserved to know about my feelings and... wait, what would Sturgis tell me?"
"Uhh, well, I blurted out to him a few months back that I was in love with you" Mac finished and buried her face in his chest, suddenly embarrassed at the admission.
"All this time he knew and didn't tell me. You just wait 'til I see him, we'll have a little talk him and me" Harm teased and laughed as he saw Mac start to protest until she figured out he was pulling her chain.
"I love you" he said sincerely and bent down to place a soft kiss on her lips. Smiling, they broke apart, and once again Mac snuggled deep into her Sailor's arms. Long minutes passed, and they seemed to be simply enjoying finally being together. But even through the perfection of the moment, Harm's fears of a relationship with Mac were still there, bubbling, threatening to overtake him once again.
"I'm so sorry, Mac" Startled at the tone in his voice Mac looked up at him, piercing him with those soft brown eyes he loved so much.
"What are you sorry for, Harm? I think we already settled that the fight on Monday was both of us, and not just you..."
"No Mac, it's not that. It's... I... I went looking for you on Tuesday. It was after lunch time, and there was no sign of you, and we had fought the day before and I didn't check on you and..." Mac stopped him with a gentle hand to his cheek, and turning all the way in his embrace, she faced him, her gaze soothing him while reminding him of all the past week's events.
"Harm, breathe and tell me what happened"
"Mac, I... I went to your apartment, and then well... I... looked for you at McMurphy's... I... well, I didn't know and... I had to check, I had to make sure you weren't... well..."
Mac smiled tenderly at him, but not before the hurt flashed in her eyes. Harm was grateful for her smile, and he knew she understood why he'd done it, but he'd also seen the pain in her eyes.
"Harm, it's okay..."
"No Mac, it's not okay. I... the last thing I want to do is hurt you by doubting you. Mac, that's the only reason it took me so long to tell you, that's why it took thinking I'd lost you for me to finally realize that I well... I was just afraid Mac. I still am...."
"What are you afraid of Harm? That I'll go back to the bottle every time we have a disagreement?" The last thing she wanted to do was let him see how much his doubts affected her, how she felt untrustworthy.
"No! No, that's not it at all. Mac, I don't want to hurt you, but I'm afraid I can't stop myself from doing just that. I love you, Sarah. I've loved you for so long now and yet I've still managed to cause you so much pain. I'm afraid I just don't know how to love you any better." The sadness in his beautiful voice tore at her heart, and at once she knew that in spite of his imperfections, his faults, and his fears, the day would never come when he didn't love her with all he had.
The first tones of the song fluttered across the room as Mac looked deep into Harm's captivating eyes, amazed at the love and devotion she found in them. "Dance with me, Harm" she uttered softly as she stood up and pulled him with her. Immediately, Harm's arms reached for her, and she indulged in the amazing sensations being in his strong embrace evoked.
"Mac...Sarah..."
"Shhh..." she whispered, a soft finger to his lips silenced him "Just listen" and closing their eyes, they both swayed to the music as the feeling of complete contentment washed over them.
I've never been so certain, I've never been so sure
We're on the side of angels, if we believe this love is pure.
Is it so hard to trust it, 'cause we've been wrong before?
There comes a time in every life, we find the heart we're waiting for.
After all the might-have-beens
The close and distant calls.
After all the try-agains
Don't be afraid to fall.
We're on the side of angels, after all.
Harm tightened his hold on her, feeling she might vanish if he let her loose even a little. A million things had been racing thorough his mind just seconds before, but now, with the woman he loved in his arms, he finally felt whole, he finally felt complete. God help him, but if he'd ever been sure of anything, it was that he couldn't let her go. Not after this moments of pure heaven in her arms.
Every time you touch me,
don't you feel it too?
The gentle hand that's guiding us,
You to me, me to you.
After all the might-have-beens
The close and distant calls.
After all the try-agains
Don't be afraid to fall.
We're on the side of angels, after all.
This time was different. Mac was not Diane, Annie, Jordan, or Renee. They were meant to be together. They were soulmates. So many years of fears and hesitation, and with one song and an 'I love you' from the woman he loved the walls around his heart began to finally crumble.
Pulling back from him, she took his face in her hands, tenderly caressing his jaw line with her nose. "I don't need you to love me any better. Just love me, Harm. Don't be afraid. I'm not afraid...not anymore" Mac whispered, tears welling up in her eyes as she looked up at him and was surprised to find his gorgeous aquamarine eyes threatening to spill down his cheeks.
"Sarah, I..." He was trying desperately to make her understand, grasping at words and thoughts that fluttered around in his brain, but nothing came out.
"Harm, we've both made mistakes, and because of those mistakes we've fought, and cried, and hurt a lot the past few years. But Harm, we're human and we'll always mess up. Love doesn't make the mistakes go away, but it makes them part of our past. I don't want a perfect Harmon Rabb. I love you just the way you are, and all I'm asking is for the same in return." Gently tightening her hold on his face, her bright brown eyes pleaded with him "Please, Harm. Don't be afraid anymore."
The softness of her touch, the acceptance in her words, the love in her eyes, it was all too much for him and he crushed her to him once more, leaving her little room to breathe as he buried his head in her neck, kissing repeatedly the soft skin and indulging in the scent that was strictly hers.
"I'll try my best, sweetheart. I promise you, I'll try... I love you, Sarah."
"That's all I need, Harm. That's all I've ever wanted."
Harm simply nodded, words escaping him as he memorized the feel of her in his arms. Long minutes passed and his hold on her hadn't loosened. The gentle glow of the lighting coupled with the moonlight peering in through the window seemed to cast the spell on the two colleagues, best friends, and soon to be lovers. Those lips that had been instrumental in their battles in court, essential in those conversations that always ended in vast misunderstandings... those same lips were now aiding, helping to form trails of soft butterfly kisses along the base of her neck.
Gently, Harm moved his big hands down to caress her the way he'd always dreamed of, while his low husky voice invaded her ears as he explored every uncovered inch of her delightful skin. Time stretched as they took the time to revel in the feel of each other's bodies, the time to commit these first touches, these first intimate motions to memory.
"Oh, Sarah..." and Harm just couldn't seem to stop whispering, calling her, and consequently, Mac couldn't stop the trembling in her entire body every time he spoke her name.
**********
Some time later, they lay together, after following each other into the world of loving pleasure they'd created.
"Harm, promise you'll let me love you forever" Mac whispered against his neck, minutes after their worlds had merged into one.
Reaching her angelic face with a hand he traced her features with a gentleness he never knew he was capable of. "I promise. I'll love you forever, Sarah" and offering a bright contented smile, she claimed his lips once more, trying to figure out how she'd gone so long without having him this way. Minutes later, nestled in his strong protective arms, Mac gave into the peaceful slumber, knowing this perfect night was the start of their future... together.
TBC