Just An Illusion Of Passion
Blue Dreamer
~*~ Chapter Four: A poem from my heart ~*~
July 16th 2001:
I'm so upset. No emails or phone calls. What's been happening to him? I am beginning to wonder if all this was just a masquerade of his to get to me?
I tried calling him but it always goes to the answering machine. I wrote to him a strong email today putting in all my feelings. What all this just meant to be a way to put me into his bed?
I wish you could know what I feel,
So happy, but at the same time so sad
We met briefly two years ago
And then, a little over two weeks ago
I met you again that Monday...
We spoke a lot on that day
I had the feeling
We were enjoying each others company
Was it an illusion?
Was it only me believing
That you could be in love
With me?
That night you emailed me
Telling you enjoyed my company.
Was it to make a move on me?
And seduce me?
The next day again we met...
like in Craig David's song
We laughed, we talked
We kissed under the lights of Paris
And then, passion took place
You kissed me more passionately
And took me to your bedroom
But being a virgin, i did not want to make love
You seemed to have accepted this
And promissed to meet up in Satan City
As you went away the next day...
Telling me that we will keep in touch
Up to date... no emails or calls...
Could you have already forgotten me?
Was I just a one night plan?
Or you just needed one more person in your list?
I'm now sad and depressed
Wondering if all this was an illusion?
Was it just a play or did you really care?
I beleive you played with my feelings
It hurts me each time I think
Of all the words you told me
You captured my heart...
And now, i feel so empty
I feel cheated and deceived
So much that i will find it hard to trust
I would like to see you face to face
And tell you what I feel
I'd probably get into a rage
As I feel hurt
For you to have done such a thing
And make me wonder if it was
Just an illusion of passion?
Author's Note: I know this comes from the poem I wrote... but it's
found its place in this story. I know it may seem silly for me to feel this way...
but right now these are my current feelings and emotions. Just a simple warning:
don't fall for sweet and lovely words... most of them are not found to be true...
I just hope all this is a misunderstanding... see I am still hoping for nothing
most probably. I love him... love hurts so much!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Dreams are the beginning of a never ending story"
Come visit my website: http://www.landofdreams.fr.st
Email me at: bluedreamer80@hotmail.com