The one where they all fall in love (awwwww)
Note: Since our cloning business is getting better, we have a clone of Will from Sir Gadabout. He's hot. And we love him. And we have one of our own each! We were also high on Fanta, fanfiction, and Now 51, (disk 2, tracks 1 onwards) (Ruby- IT'S MINE!!!!!).
* please note that Ruby, Celeste, Celesta and J are all THE SAME PERSONA!!! She has multiple personalitites (Ruby- Like Aragorn!), not the voices in her head like Sylvi.... From now on we will use Ruby- it's easier :-)*
Whilest their friends (and mortal enemy) were all looking at pictures Fred and George were planning a plan and looking at naughty pictures that Dean had got off the internet. (Ruby- we all know poor Dean never had a love life! Will- what pics were THEY????)
The plan they were planning was a plan more cunning than a plan concieved by a fox who had, up until recently been professor of cunning at Cambridge university teaching the creme de la creme of cunning students, but had decided to do a doctorate of philosophy on cunningness through the ages. (Ruby- Sylvi happens to like alliteration...Sylvi-Hell yeah! Will-Wait a second-are you trying to say it's cunning???? Ruby-You're lucky you have your looks, Will.)
"What shall we do?"
"Create a band and have many consecutive number ones?"
"Realisticly."
"Create a band, get high on crack, and eat people."
"No. Harry is already a rabid monkey on crack, we don't need to be."
(The authoresses would, at this point, like to say how much they love MSTs. And how much they were upset when they were taken down.)
"Mean."
"We could always take over the world."
"It's been done. By my hero."
"Minkie, the magical monkey who lives inside my head?"
"Um, no...MISS ALDER!!!!!!!"
(Ruby/Sylvi: ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH! GOD SAVE US ALL! Will: I think Miss Alder is Ruby's *evil* German teacher. Ruby-Speak not the name! Sylvi-She's Hitler. And Maggie Thatcher. In a Teletubbie suit. Ruby-All of the evils in the world. We will be setting up a fan club 4 the many ways that we can bring destruction unto her- MWAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!)
Fred gave his brother a worried look. "I thought I was the weird one."
George began to sing. "I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower-WOO!"
Fred slapped his brother. (NOOOOO! He smashed his head in with a sledgehammer! Tee hee!!) "No more banana skins for you."
"Mean. Anyway, we have to focus."
"Well, how about getting our teachers high."
"It's been done." (Sylvi-Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high!)
"How about luuuuuuurve potion?"
"Now i really think you ARE high!!"
"And if I am?"
"Well, do you have the stuff?"
"Yah-huh."
"We may as well. Hey, giz a bit."
"What for?"
"A little project concerning Snape, a dead turkey I found, and detention."
"Really?"
"No, I just wanted to bribe someone."
"I'm a bad babysitter-"
"Please, don't start that again...."
"Why not?"
"I seem to have a bizaare urge to sing a rap song like Princess Superstar!"
"Um, can you resist it? We need to prepare the potion."
The next morning, the potion was ready and in the professor's drinks. Unfortunately, some was unfortunately dropped in some unfortunate student's unfortunate drinks. (Ruby-Calm down, Sylvi. we know it was unfortunate. Sylvi-But it was really UNFORTUNATE! Will- o.O??)
Here the pairs follow as:
Snape3 McGonagall3Dumbledore
Lockhart3 Snape
Lupin3 Susan Bones' mother (don't ask...)
Tralawny3 Flitwick
Mrs Norris3 Filch (Sylvi's note: But I've got a feeling it was like that before the potion.....)
Sprout 3 Filch
[We just can't be arsed to tell you all how they got together- use your wonderful imaginations]
Snape sniffed the drink. Funny, it smelt odd. He frowned slightly, but decided the house elves were probably suffering from a drug addiction of some kind, perhaps LSD (Sylvi-You take it once! It stays in your bloodstream! You have flashbacks! You kill your family, damnit! Ruby-Yes, Sylvi.... Will-Somebody save me o.o)
He was right to be suspicious (ruby- long word, can't spell... Sylvi: YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGISE FOR IT!!!!) though. There was, in fact, something in the pumpkin juice that night. He, suffering from some kind of addiction to do with pumpkins, drank it, in the hope that he would reach the pinnicle of happiness in the bottom of the pumpkin juice cup. Cheese!!! (Ruby-sorry about that, I was just suffering from an attack of Snape's pumpkin-addiction syndrome) Snape suddenly looked up to see Minerva McGonagall.Only...she was beautiful (Ruby, Sylvi: ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH! Will: Be afraid. Be very afraid.)
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Draco's evil twin stared back at him. "Look, Draco, I'm not here for a lovey dovey reconcilliation. I am here to recruit you for the dark side."
"Damien, I am glad you came to visit, but now is not the time for a heartfelt family reunion."
"It wasn't going to be. But since I'm here..."
Maya walked into the common room, and felt her heart stop. "Wooooow! Who are you?"
"I'm Draco, I was your boyfriend for a brief period of time recently.."
"Not you, midget boy, the cute one next to you."
"We're identical!"
"So are Syren and I, but you don't get us mixed up."
"You have pink hair, Maya."
"Shut up."
"I'm Damien. Charmed."
"Hi, I'm Maya, I'm single and I think I could be in love with you. Is Tuesday a good day for you?"
"Huh?"
"To get married. I want a white wedding with lots of..stuff."
"Um, I'm not sure that I can get married right now."
"Why?"
"I...I just can't. Sorry. But we can date!"
"OK!"
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"Why does my heart feel so bad?
Why does my soul feel so sad?" Fred sang mournfully as he watched The Wedding Planner. (When what's-his-name and what's-his-name go riding round on a motorbike to find J-Lo's character. They have 'Just Married' taped to the back of it.)
"Why Fred, honey I didn't know you were that way inclined!" teased Ron.
"Hang on there Ron. Harry said that last week he found you and Justin making out in Filch's broom cupboard."
Syren suddenly popped her head around the door, and ran up to Ron.
"Say it isn't so!"
"I swear on Justin's life it's not true!"
"Poor Justin then!" (Fred)
"Bless his sotton cocks!!" (George)
Everybody made a funny look at George-it looked like o.O
Harry and Hermione suddenly walked in. "No, guys, I walked in on Ginny and Justin."
Ginny frowned. "Oi!!!"
"She loves me!" Draco whined.
"Slytherin Scum!" yelled Harry, Hermione, Fred, George etc.
"HEY!!!!!" yelled Damien, Draco, Ginny, Ron, Syren, Maya (who was there for the sake of it) and the authoresses.
"Who the hell is he?"
"Damien, my twin."
"My boyfriend."
"I'm his evil twin." Damien added, and was promptly hit on the head.
"Stop revealing the plot!"
"There's a plot?!"
"Supposedly."
"Anyway. Where the Hell have you two been?" Ron asked Harry and Hermione. "I haven't seen you since last night!"
"Ooooooooh!" said anyone who was interested- i.e everyone.
"Whaaaaa? I am not going out with Harry!" Hermione cried.
"Bugger." Harry muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"Bust-ed!" George shouted.
"He said a naughty word. Shame on him." Fred murmered into his beard-yes, he has a beard.[Ruby and Will- o.O;;;]
"Look, I was practicing Quidditch." Harry commented loudly.
"And I was doing homework." Hermione added.
"Their story checks out." Ron said irritably.
"Fred, when did you get a beard?"
"Why did you call him Fred?"
"Aw, screw it. Hermione, they are not Dean and Seamus-they are Fred and George."
"Oh. Cool. So, Fred, the beard...."
"A week ago. You like?"
"Urm, it's lovely."
"Starting to worry about Fred."
"Aren't we all?"
"Maybe Harry should grow a beard." Hermione said softly.
"You like beards?" Harry asked, frowning.
"No...I just think you'd look good with one."
Harry ran a hand over the space where his beard would be if he grew one. "Hmmm."
Ruby suddenly ran in. "NO, HARRY! Don't do it, you look bad enough already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"HEY!" Harry and Hermione shouted.
Sylvi sighed. "Shipperness."
Will wandered in. "C'mon, you two, time to go home."
"Who are you people?" Fred and George demanded.
"We are the voices inside your head."
"I KNEW IT!" They disappeared, never to be spoken of again.
"Hey, how did the Slytherins get in?" Ginny asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, then ten more of a slightly less awkward silence, and 15 minutes of a much less awkward silence in which Hermione read 'Dude, where's my ring?' (LNM) [Ruby-Right, Sylvi, last time I let you near the keyboard]
Draco glanced at her. "Well, you gave me the password."
"Oh yeah..." Ginny said brightly.
Hermione, Harry, Ron, Fred and George stared at her. "You gave HIM the password?"
"Well, duh, he's my boyfriend."
"He's your BOYFRIEND? You could've told me!"
"George, you can't expect me to tell you everything. Besides, you wouldn't have approved anyway. "
"Damn right I wouldn't- he's not suitable for you..." George mumbled.
"Mum wouldn't approve EITHER!!" said Fred.
"Besides," Harry pointed out, "what about Syren?"
"Shut UP Harry!" Ron shouted
"Don't tell him to shut up!" yelled Hermione.
Ruby zoomed in again for no particular reason. "SHIPPERNESS!"
"Okay, who saw that coming?" asked Damien.
Most people in the room raised their hands.
"AWWWW! You guys are sooooo boring!" sobbed Ruby and disappeared to whence she came.
Syren glanced at Ron. "Ron, wanna go on a walk?"
"Sure." Ron said, shrugging, and they naffed off to do whatever they felt like. (Sylvi's note: ROOON!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! Ruby's note: You do realise that you are effectively represented by Syren? Will: She is? Woooooow! Sylvi: Go Syren! Go Syren! Ruby: -_-)
Damien looked at Maya. "You know, planning a wedding takes a loooong time."
Maya grinned, and threw her arms around his neck. "C'mon, let's get started!"(Ruby: WOOO! Go get some Maya... You know that Persil washes whiter!! Sylvi: YEEEEEEEEES Ruby! Will: ....) They left, Maya muttering about bridal magazines.
Fred and George went to cause diabolical distruction until Voldie got off his arse and did the job for them (See next chapter). Draco and Ginny found a broom cupboard and were gone for the rest of the afternoon. (Ruby: We'll just leave it at that, shall we?!)
Harry looked at Hermione, and raised his eyebrows. "Do I want to know what just happened?"
"Probably not." Hermione advised.
"You know we seem to be the only people not actively getting it on with someone in unusual places..."
"Harry that is a facinating concept. Well, I'm off to the library see you later."
Note: Since our cloning business is getting better, we have a clone of Will from Sir Gadabout. He's hot. And we love him. And we have one of our own each! We were also high on Fanta, fanfiction, and Now 51, (disk 2, tracks 1 onwards) (Ruby- IT'S MINE!!!!!).
* please note that Ruby, Celeste, Celesta and J are all THE SAME PERSONA!!! She has multiple personalitites (Ruby- Like Aragorn!), not the voices in her head like Sylvi.... From now on we will use Ruby- it's easier :-)*
Whilest their friends (and mortal enemy) were all looking at pictures Fred and George were planning a plan and looking at naughty pictures that Dean had got off the internet. (Ruby- we all know poor Dean never had a love life! Will- what pics were THEY????)
The plan they were planning was a plan more cunning than a plan concieved by a fox who had, up until recently been professor of cunning at Cambridge university teaching the creme de la creme of cunning students, but had decided to do a doctorate of philosophy on cunningness through the ages. (Ruby- Sylvi happens to like alliteration...Sylvi-Hell yeah! Will-Wait a second-are you trying to say it's cunning???? Ruby-You're lucky you have your looks, Will.)
"What shall we do?"
"Create a band and have many consecutive number ones?"
"Realisticly."
"Create a band, get high on crack, and eat people."
"No. Harry is already a rabid monkey on crack, we don't need to be."
(The authoresses would, at this point, like to say how much they love MSTs. And how much they were upset when they were taken down.)
"Mean."
"We could always take over the world."
"It's been done. By my hero."
"Minkie, the magical monkey who lives inside my head?"
"Um, no...MISS ALDER!!!!!!!"
(Ruby/Sylvi: ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH! GOD SAVE US ALL! Will: I think Miss Alder is Ruby's *evil* German teacher. Ruby-Speak not the name! Sylvi-She's Hitler. And Maggie Thatcher. In a Teletubbie suit. Ruby-All of the evils in the world. We will be setting up a fan club 4 the many ways that we can bring destruction unto her- MWAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!)
Fred gave his brother a worried look. "I thought I was the weird one."
George began to sing. "I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower-WOO!"
Fred slapped his brother. (NOOOOO! He smashed his head in with a sledgehammer! Tee hee!!) "No more banana skins for you."
"Mean. Anyway, we have to focus."
"Well, how about getting our teachers high."
"It's been done." (Sylvi-Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high!)
"How about luuuuuuurve potion?"
"Now i really think you ARE high!!"
"And if I am?"
"Well, do you have the stuff?"
"Yah-huh."
"We may as well. Hey, giz a bit."
"What for?"
"A little project concerning Snape, a dead turkey I found, and detention."
"Really?"
"No, I just wanted to bribe someone."
"I'm a bad babysitter-"
"Please, don't start that again...."
"Why not?"
"I seem to have a bizaare urge to sing a rap song like Princess Superstar!"
"Um, can you resist it? We need to prepare the potion."
The next morning, the potion was ready and in the professor's drinks. Unfortunately, some was unfortunately dropped in some unfortunate student's unfortunate drinks. (Ruby-Calm down, Sylvi. we know it was unfortunate. Sylvi-But it was really UNFORTUNATE! Will- o.O??)
Here the pairs follow as:
Snape3 McGonagall3Dumbledore
Lockhart3 Snape
Lupin3 Susan Bones' mother (don't ask...)
Tralawny3 Flitwick
Mrs Norris3 Filch (Sylvi's note: But I've got a feeling it was like that before the potion.....)
Sprout 3 Filch
[We just can't be arsed to tell you all how they got together- use your wonderful imaginations]
Snape sniffed the drink. Funny, it smelt odd. He frowned slightly, but decided the house elves were probably suffering from a drug addiction of some kind, perhaps LSD (Sylvi-You take it once! It stays in your bloodstream! You have flashbacks! You kill your family, damnit! Ruby-Yes, Sylvi.... Will-Somebody save me o.o)
He was right to be suspicious (ruby- long word, can't spell... Sylvi: YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGISE FOR IT!!!!) though. There was, in fact, something in the pumpkin juice that night. He, suffering from some kind of addiction to do with pumpkins, drank it, in the hope that he would reach the pinnicle of happiness in the bottom of the pumpkin juice cup. Cheese!!! (Ruby-sorry about that, I was just suffering from an attack of Snape's pumpkin-addiction syndrome) Snape suddenly looked up to see Minerva McGonagall.Only...she was beautiful (Ruby, Sylvi: ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH! Will: Be afraid. Be very afraid.)
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Draco's evil twin stared back at him. "Look, Draco, I'm not here for a lovey dovey reconcilliation. I am here to recruit you for the dark side."
"Damien, I am glad you came to visit, but now is not the time for a heartfelt family reunion."
"It wasn't going to be. But since I'm here..."
Maya walked into the common room, and felt her heart stop. "Wooooow! Who are you?"
"I'm Draco, I was your boyfriend for a brief period of time recently.."
"Not you, midget boy, the cute one next to you."
"We're identical!"
"So are Syren and I, but you don't get us mixed up."
"You have pink hair, Maya."
"Shut up."
"I'm Damien. Charmed."
"Hi, I'm Maya, I'm single and I think I could be in love with you. Is Tuesday a good day for you?"
"Huh?"
"To get married. I want a white wedding with lots of..stuff."
"Um, I'm not sure that I can get married right now."
"Why?"
"I...I just can't. Sorry. But we can date!"
"OK!"
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿
"Why does my heart feel so bad?
Why does my soul feel so sad?" Fred sang mournfully as he watched The Wedding Planner. (When what's-his-name and what's-his-name go riding round on a motorbike to find J-Lo's character. They have 'Just Married' taped to the back of it.)
"Why Fred, honey I didn't know you were that way inclined!" teased Ron.
"Hang on there Ron. Harry said that last week he found you and Justin making out in Filch's broom cupboard."
Syren suddenly popped her head around the door, and ran up to Ron.
"Say it isn't so!"
"I swear on Justin's life it's not true!"
"Poor Justin then!" (Fred)
"Bless his sotton cocks!!" (George)
Everybody made a funny look at George-it looked like o.O
Harry and Hermione suddenly walked in. "No, guys, I walked in on Ginny and Justin."
Ginny frowned. "Oi!!!"
"She loves me!" Draco whined.
"Slytherin Scum!" yelled Harry, Hermione, Fred, George etc.
"HEY!!!!!" yelled Damien, Draco, Ginny, Ron, Syren, Maya (who was there for the sake of it) and the authoresses.
"Who the hell is he?"
"Damien, my twin."
"My boyfriend."
"I'm his evil twin." Damien added, and was promptly hit on the head.
"Stop revealing the plot!"
"There's a plot?!"
"Supposedly."
"Anyway. Where the Hell have you two been?" Ron asked Harry and Hermione. "I haven't seen you since last night!"
"Ooooooooh!" said anyone who was interested- i.e everyone.
"Whaaaaa? I am not going out with Harry!" Hermione cried.
"Bugger." Harry muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"Bust-ed!" George shouted.
"He said a naughty word. Shame on him." Fred murmered into his beard-yes, he has a beard.[Ruby and Will- o.O;;;]
"Look, I was practicing Quidditch." Harry commented loudly.
"And I was doing homework." Hermione added.
"Their story checks out." Ron said irritably.
"Fred, when did you get a beard?"
"Why did you call him Fred?"
"Aw, screw it. Hermione, they are not Dean and Seamus-they are Fred and George."
"Oh. Cool. So, Fred, the beard...."
"A week ago. You like?"
"Urm, it's lovely."
"Starting to worry about Fred."
"Aren't we all?"
"Maybe Harry should grow a beard." Hermione said softly.
"You like beards?" Harry asked, frowning.
"No...I just think you'd look good with one."
Harry ran a hand over the space where his beard would be if he grew one. "Hmmm."
Ruby suddenly ran in. "NO, HARRY! Don't do it, you look bad enough already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"HEY!" Harry and Hermione shouted.
Sylvi sighed. "Shipperness."
Will wandered in. "C'mon, you two, time to go home."
"Who are you people?" Fred and George demanded.
"We are the voices inside your head."
"I KNEW IT!" They disappeared, never to be spoken of again.
"Hey, how did the Slytherins get in?" Ginny asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, then ten more of a slightly less awkward silence, and 15 minutes of a much less awkward silence in which Hermione read 'Dude, where's my ring?' (LNM) [Ruby-Right, Sylvi, last time I let you near the keyboard]
Draco glanced at her. "Well, you gave me the password."
"Oh yeah..." Ginny said brightly.
Hermione, Harry, Ron, Fred and George stared at her. "You gave HIM the password?"
"Well, duh, he's my boyfriend."
"He's your BOYFRIEND? You could've told me!"
"George, you can't expect me to tell you everything. Besides, you wouldn't have approved anyway. "
"Damn right I wouldn't- he's not suitable for you..." George mumbled.
"Mum wouldn't approve EITHER!!" said Fred.
"Besides," Harry pointed out, "what about Syren?"
"Shut UP Harry!" Ron shouted
"Don't tell him to shut up!" yelled Hermione.
Ruby zoomed in again for no particular reason. "SHIPPERNESS!"
"Okay, who saw that coming?" asked Damien.
Most people in the room raised their hands.
"AWWWW! You guys are sooooo boring!" sobbed Ruby and disappeared to whence she came.
Syren glanced at Ron. "Ron, wanna go on a walk?"
"Sure." Ron said, shrugging, and they naffed off to do whatever they felt like. (Sylvi's note: ROOON!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! Ruby's note: You do realise that you are effectively represented by Syren? Will: She is? Woooooow! Sylvi: Go Syren! Go Syren! Ruby: -_-)
Damien looked at Maya. "You know, planning a wedding takes a loooong time."
Maya grinned, and threw her arms around his neck. "C'mon, let's get started!"(Ruby: WOOO! Go get some Maya... You know that Persil washes whiter!! Sylvi: YEEEEEEEEES Ruby! Will: ....) They left, Maya muttering about bridal magazines.
Fred and George went to cause diabolical distruction until Voldie got off his arse and did the job for them (See next chapter). Draco and Ginny found a broom cupboard and were gone for the rest of the afternoon. (Ruby: We'll just leave it at that, shall we?!)
Harry looked at Hermione, and raised his eyebrows. "Do I want to know what just happened?"
"Probably not." Hermione advised.
"You know we seem to be the only people not actively getting it on with someone in unusual places..."
"Harry that is a facinating concept. Well, I'm off to the library see you later."