Shinji's Decision

by Jeff2

Set after the 17th angel, Shinji tries to come to terms with his feelings and comes to a decision. 10th and final part added (finaly).

3. Here I go again The sacrifice

Shinji's Decision

Part 3  - Version 1 completed 3 /1/2000

              Version 2 completed 22/4/2001

By Jeff Mullier

Email: jmullier@idl.net.au

Copyright notice

Neon Genesis Evangelion and associated characters are copyright Gainax and associated companies.

Author Notes

I hope I haven't made any of the characters act wildly out of character. Also this fic contains spoilers. It takes place after episode 24 and ignores events in episodes 25,26 & the movies.

Any comments and suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks to Greg Thomas for pre reading this part.

Additional notes for version 2

Well I have changed the writing style of this part. Also reworked several areas, especially some parts of Asuka's dream sequence.

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Shinji's Decision

Part Three - Here I go again /The sacrifice

The surface of Tokyo 3 at the same time as Touji and Rei are entering Shinji's hospital room

In the dimly lit ruins of a house on the edge of the lake that was Tokyo 3, a lone figure can be seen observing the angel on the far side of the lake, with a set of high powered binoculars. The figure reveals himself to be none other that Ryouji Kaji, special operative with the Ministry of the Interior. He mutters to himself, "I knew it. I shouldn't have trusted those fools. They are no better than Ikari and SEELE. I told them that they should destroy it, but no they decided to meddle with something that should be left well alone. I am sorry Katsuragi; I can just imagine your reaction to seeing this particular angel."

         "Just why haven't Nerv sent an Eva out to fight it yet? ....... Unless they are having trouble finding a pilot. From what I have been able to find out, I know that Rei somehow survived the destruction of Unit 00, but unless they have had more luck than last time she can't synchronise with Unit 01. Asuka is in a coma in hospital due to the effects of being attacked by the 14th angel and not being able to synchronise with Unit 02 in the following angel attack. That leaves Shinji, apparently he has had a pretty hard time of it lately. Maybe he has decided to leave Tokyo 3 and Nerv again, I wouldn't really blame him if he was. If he is leaving again and he is the only pilot left once more, I suppose I should try to help to convince him to pilot once more. Well there is only one way to find out." Kaji then gets his mobile phone out and starts dialling a number. He laughs and comments, "I just wish I could see her face when she hears me."

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Outside of Nerv Hospital room 107

Misato is pacing up and down the hallway in front of the door. Her mobile phone starts to ring, she stops pacing and gets her phone out of her jacket pocket and answers it, "Hello".

Kaji's voice answers, "Thank you Katsuragi."

Misato's eyes widen in shock and her face pales as she hears the voice of someone she had given up for dead. She eventually manages to answer, "...........K...Ka ....Kaji?"

"The one and only. How are you Misato?"

Misato replies in an annoyed tone , "I have been better. Why did you scare me like that, letting me think that I had killed you?"

"It was easier for me to do my work if everyone thought I was dead."

Misato frowns and coldly replies, "Yes your work........ I think I am trying to battle the results of your work."

"I told them to destroy it, but they decided otherwise, they wanted to play god like commander Ikari and SEELE."

Misato sarcastically replies, "It would appear that you know as much about the true intentions your employers as I do of mine. Which is only enough to ask yourself 'why in the world am I doing this and is it all worth it?'"

"It would seem so."

Misato ironically replies, "Yes it would."

"I see that you have dropped a N2 mine on the angel, so why haven't you sent a Evangelion out to fight it yet?"

"Well....... We have a slight pilot problem."

"Let me guess, Shinji is the only useable pilot left? And I take it he doesn't want to pilot any more."

"Yes he is the only pilot left who stands a chance of piloting an Eva, but unfortunately three days ago he tried to commit suicide."

Concerned by what Misato has just told him, he asks her, "I hope he didn't succeed?"

"No, fortunately I found him just in time."

"So how is he now?"

"He has physically recovered."

"So I take it that you are trying to convince him to pilot once more?"

"Yes, Touji and Rei are trying to convince him to pilot now."

"Do you want me to come, if you think it will help?"

"If you could, it definitely will help. But do you think it is wise entering a Nerv facility?"

"Misato, if I could steel Adam from Nerv without being detected, do you think anyone is going to stop me entering a hospital?"

"You do have a point there, Shinji is in room 107 of the Nerv hospital."

"I will be there in ten minutes."

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Nerv Hospital room 107 ten minutes later

Shinji is sitting up in the bed, Rei is sitting in a chair on one side of the bed Touji is sitting in a wheelchair on the other. Touji has just asked Shinji if he will pilot again. In a resigned tone of voice Shinji tells Touji and Rei of his decision, "…..Yes .............sigh......I do it."

Rei gives a small smile as she says, "Thank you Shinji."

Touji also smiles at his friend as he thanks him, "Yeah thanks Shinji."

Shinji then asks Touji, "I take it that Misato is probably waiting outside to hear of my decision?"

Touji replies, "Yes she is."

Shinji gets out of the bed , "I will tell her myself." He opens the draw of the chest of drawers next to the bed and gets out some of his clothes. "Uh, will you excuse me for a minute while I change."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside of Shinji's hospital room

Misato is standing anxiously in the hallway, blankly staring out through a window, when she hears a familiar voice call her name, "Hello Katsuragi." Misato immediately recognises Kaji's voice and quickly turns around and raps her arms around him. She then starts crying as she tells him, "Don't you ever do that to me again, scaring me like that, making me think that you were dead."

Kaji replies, "Sorry for not letting you know that I was still alive. ........... Thanks for doing that; for not killing me, but making commander Ikari think that I was dead. I know that you took a big risk in doing what you did."

With tears starting to form in her eyes Misato tells Kaji, "No matter what the consequences were Kaji, I couldn't bring myself to kill you."

Kaji winces as Misato hugs him a little tighter. "Ouch! You didn't have to do such a convincing job though. The wound is still a little sore Misato, so do you mind?"

Misato lets him go and smiles, "Sorry."

"So why did Shinji try to commit suicide?"

"Well he has gone through some pretty bad experiences of late, and he had been withdrawing further into himself, but three days ago it looked like he may have been coming to terms with what had happened. He finally went and saw Touji, he even went and saw Asuka in hospital."

Kaji shakes his head as he comments, "I can never work out what those two actually feel for each other."

"Yeah. He apparently also had a talk with Rei as well. It would appear that he had probably already made the decision to try to kill himself. But what happened that night was more than likely what pushed him over the edge."

"What happened?"

Misato sadly answers, "I don't know how, but he somehow knew that something had happened to you and that I at least knew the truth of what had happened. He asked me what had happened to you, I couldn't lie to him so I told him the truth. But I then ran to my bedroom crying before I could fully explain what happened, and when I finally came out hours latter he was asleep on the sofa after taking nearly the entire contents of a bottle of sleeping pills." She starts crying once more as she tells Kaji, " .... I am such a fool..... I nearly lost two of the people I care for the most........."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Misato. You were only trying to do the best for the both of us."

"I should have handled Shinji a little better though. I knew that he would take the news about you badly as you are probably the only adult that he really talks to. In fact he probably sees you as more of a father than he does of commander Ikari."

A surprised look appears on Kaji's face after he hears Misato mention how Shinji feels towards him. "I never realised that Shinji thinks of me in that way. Now that you mention it, he has talked with me regarding some subjects that he would have never discussed with you or anyone else."

"That doesn't surprise me, Kaji. I don't think anyone else could have got him to pilot again after what happened to Touji, but what you said to him during the attack of the 14th angel definitely changed his mind."

"I just told him the truth about what would have happened if he didn't pilot."  He looks towards the hospital room door, and asks, "I wounder how they are going?"

"They have been in there a while, I hope that they aren't having any problems convincing him."

"Oh, he will pilot again Misato. That was a rather smart move by the way, getting Rei and Touji to ask him to pilot again."

"What do you mean?"

"You thought that he may not listen to you but he would feel guilty if he refused a request by two of his friends."

"Yes I was not quite sure how Shinji would feel towards me, so I asked Rei and Touji as I knew that he would at least listen to those two. Although seeing you alive may change his opinion of me."

"It will Misato, trust me."

The hospital door slides open revealing Shinji in his school uniform. Misato is facing the door; Kaji has his back to the door facing Misato.

Misato sees Shinji walk out of his room and cries out, "Shinji!"

Shinji calmly returns Misato's greeting, "Misato." He then notices the man standing beside Misato with his back to him and wounders, 'Who is that with Misato?' He then notices the man's ponytail, ' ....... No it couldn't be........'

Kaji turns around after hearing Shinji and greets him, "Hello Shinji Ikari."

Shinji stares at Kaji in surprise and asks, "Kaji? ......... But ...... I thought you were dead. I thought that Misato shot you?"

"Yes she shot me all right, but like she tried to tell you she only wounded me."

Shinji hangs his head in shame as he replies, "I am sorry for doubting you Misato."

Misato gives Shinji a small but warm smile as she replies, "That's all right Shinji. I should have told you earlier, but I wasn't sure myself if I had only wounded him."

Kaji then asks Shinji, "So Shinji have you made a decision?"

Shinji lifts his head back up and answers, "Yes I will pilot again. Hopefully this will be the last time."

Misato replies, "Yes, I hope it is the last time as well. Now go and change into your plug suit and meet me in the briefing room."

Shinji replies, "Yes Misato." He turns to Kaji, "Goodbye Kaji, I am glad to see that you are alive."

Kaji replies, "Goodbye Shinji and good luck. I will see you again soon."

Shinji then starts walking towards the pilots' change rooms. Shinji is only a few rooms away when the door to what was his hospital room opens again and both Touji and Rei exit the room, Rei is pushing Touji's wheelchair.

Misato smiles at Rei and Touji as she tells them, "Thanks for doing that."

Touji replies, "It was no problem Misato." He then notices Kaji standing behind Misato and he stares at Kaji with a confused expression on his face, "Uh??"

Kaji sees Touji's reaction and grins, "Mr Suzahara, lets just say reports of my death were a little premature. But could you forget that you saw me?"

"Yeah, no problem." 'What's going on here?'

Kaji then turns to Misato and tells her, "Well I best be off then. Katsuragi, if you need to contact me, the phone number is the date that we first met. Thanks again."

Misato hugs Kaji and kisses him. "Goodbye Kaji." She then lets him go and Kaji then walks off down the hallway, Misato watches him walk away. Once Kaji has walked out of sight Misato turns around to Rei and Touji and tells them, "Well you two can stay at the back of the command bridge. I have to get some stuff from there before I brief Shinji. Lets go." She then takes control of Touji's wheelchair from Rei and with Rei following she starts to  head towards the command centre.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Pilot's Briefing Room

Misato and Shinji are standing on either side of a flat viewing table. Vice commander Fuyutsuki is standing in the background overseeing the briefing. Misato presses a button so that images of the angel before and after the N2 mine come up on the viewer. She explains to Shinji, "This is the angel before and after we detonated an N2 mine on it to slow it down. The MAGI currently predict that it will be fully regenerated in another three quarters of an hour."

Seeing the image of Adam, Shinji thinks to himself, 'So that's what the angel that caused second impact looks like'.

"Due to the limited number of weapons towers and entry points due to most of Tokyo 3 being destroyed, Unit 01 will be launched a distance approximately two thirds of the way around the crater that was Tokyo 3 away from the angel."

Shinji asks, "What is the angel's weapon?"

"So far it has used a concentrated beam of energy, similar to the 14th angel, it may have other means of attack though. We are not quite sure of this angel's full capabilities other than it is extremely powerful. Remember that this angel caused the second impact."

'Great!' "What will I be fighting it with?"

"As we are not quite sure of this angels full capabilities other than it is extremely powerful. So at first we will try a long range attack using the JSSDF's positron rifle using all of the available electricity that we have been able to harness at such short notice. The rifle will be set up on top of weapons tower 23 which is a short distance from where you will be launched."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"The next closest weapons tower will have two hand held rocket launchers. If they don't work, well our last resort is hand to hand combat with the progressive knife. At all times you will have to have your AT field at maximum."

Shinji grimly asks Misato, "This isn't going to be an easy fight is it?"

"Unfortunately you are right, but would only be lying to you if I told you otherwise. I have faith in you Shinji, you will defeat it and once this angel is gone that will be the end of all this."

"I certainly hope so. I will be glad when this is all over."

Misato smiles as she replies, "Yes I think that everybody will be Shinji. Lets get going we don't have much time."

"Yes Misato."

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SEELE Chamber

SEELE 04 angrily states, "It would appear that Ikari has let Nerv's security get rather slack."

SEELE 06 adds, "Yes it would also appear that there is another party interested in analysing the angels."

SEELE 02 comments, "The available information points to the Japanese government."

SEELE 03 replies, "Who ever was responsible is not our immediate concern, what is more important at the moment is what do we do now?"

SEELE 01 answers, "There is nothing we need to do. As long as Evangelion Unit 01 survives intact our scenario is still intact. In fact the re-emergence and possible destruction of Adam is to our advantage."

SEELE 05 asks, "How is that?"

"It will prevent Ikari carrying out his own agenda, as it needs both Adam and Lilith where as our scenario only needs Evangelion Unit 01 and our nine production units as well as the lance," replies SEELE 01.

SEELE 10 then asks, "But we don't have the lance of Longinus do we?"

SEELE 11 angrily states, "No, not since Ikari managed to conveniently get it into a lunar orbit."

SEELE 01 calmly replies, "That is of no immediate concern, plans are being put into motion to retrieve the lance."

SEELE 09 comments, "Yes, Ikari destroying Adam and ending his own scenario suits our plans perfectly. As long as Nerv manage to defeat this angel, as it probably the strongest angel yet. Remember this angel is responsible for the death of half of the human race."

"Nerv will defeat the angel, remember that Unit 01 is now an extremely powerful weapon because of its S2 organ", answers SEELE 02.

SEELE 08 then asks, "Then why did Ikari get the UN to drop a N2 mine on the angel? It is taking Nerv longer than normal to deploy Evangelion Unit 01."

SEELE 01 replies, "Our last intelligence report revealed that there is currently only one pilot that can pilot Evangelion Unit 01, who is the third child Shinji Ikari. Apparently he is rather depressed due to recent events, they may be having problems convincing him to pilot."

SEELE 02 comments,  "Yes this has happened before."

SEELE 03 replies, "He will pilot again, he has before, he will again."

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Nerv Hospital room 303/Asuka's mind

In Asuka's mind the image of an old train carriage appears, she is sitting with her head bowed on one side of the carriage. Seated on the opposite side silhouetted by the bright light coming in through the window is a younger version of herself. Asuka sadly mumbles, "No one cares for me. Nobody cares for me since I can't pilot anymore. No one has ever cared for me, they have only cared for me because I am a pilot."

The younger version of herself firmly replies, "You are wrong. Your best friend Hikari cares for you. She let you stay at her place when you were starting to fall into this state that you are now in. She tried to comfort you but you weren't really listening. And what she said to you is the truth."

Asuka asks, "What do you mean?"

"That you shouldn't feel ashamed or worthless because you lost, you tried your best and no one could ask for anything more than that."

Asuka sarcastically replies, "Yeah right. I lost against the angels 3 times in a row and the next time they made me pilot I couldn't even start my Eva. So what worth do I have? Who needs an pilot who can't sync with her Eva?"

The younger Asuka replies in an equally sarcastic tone, "So piloting Eva is your sole reason for existing? Is that all you want to be known as? What about Asuka Langley Sohryu the person?"

"I can't let anyone get too close to me. I don't want anyone to know my true past, it is just too painful."

"But there is one person who is close to you who knows the truth and doesn't hold it against you, but you refuse to recognise how they care for you."

Puzzled Asuka asks, "Who???.....Not Misato?"

"Yes Misato. She took you into her home, into her life, she almost treats both you and Shinji like you were her own children."

Asuka's anger flares again as she fiercely replies, "So what! We are only part of her job."

The younger Asuka sadly shakes her head before she answers, "You are wrong, Misato may know all of the details of your past but she never said anything to you or to anyone else about them. She knew that you would not want to talk about it or let anyone else know about it, and she has respected your wishes in that respect. That day at the hot springs, you should have taken notice of her advice regarding your past."

Asuka replies by asking, "Why, what do you mean by that?"

"About letting it go, nothing is to be gained by dwelling on the past."

Asuka irately asks, "Why? My past is what has made me who I am. How do you expect me to forget what has happened?"

"It is true that it has made you who you are, but nothing is gained by letting it define your future as well. Anyway what's to say that your past is any different to Shinji's?"

"What do you mean by that? What in the world have I got in common with that baka?"

"His mother died when he was young, his father virtually ignores him."

Asuka heatedly asks, "So what. What's that got to do with me?"

"You two are more alike than you think, you just deal with your pain in different ways. You are both afraid to get too close to someone for fear of being hurt. Why do you think he has so much trouble dealing with others?"

Asuka hesitates before replying, "I.... never looked at his actions in that way."

"But despite this and how you treat him, he does genuinely care for you."

Asuka angrily replies, "Bullshit!"

"He does. It's just that he isn't very good at expressing his emotions and you don't want to recognise it."

FLASHBACK

Just after the attack of the 15th angel, Asuka is sitting down trying to come to terms with what the angel's invasion of her mind has made her remember. She hears Shinji's voice, "I am glad as you're ok, Asuka."

Asuka angrily snaps back at him, "Shut up!   Who are you calling ok? It's the worst; that doll rescued me! Rescued by that damned doll! I would rather die than that. I hate, hate, you, everyone, everything!"

After a moments hesitation Shinji tells her, "Well I am still glad that you are uninjured then."

Asuka quickly turns around and gives him a rather dark and angry look. A worried look appears on Shinji's face before he makes a quick retreat.

 END FLASHBACK

The younger Asuka then tells her, "See, Shinji does care for you but he does not express himself very well."

Asuka angrily snaps back, "Yeah so what. Who would be interested in a dork like him?"

"You. You deny it but you feel for him in return. Don't you remember what you did after the twelfth angel?"

Asuka just sits there dumbfounded as the memories of what happened resurface and she starts to realise what the younger version of herself is referring to.

FLASHBACK

Outside Shinji's Hospital room after the attack of the 12th angel

Asuka is walking towards Shinji's hospital room when she sees Rei approach from the opposite direction and enter the room. After seeing this Asuka mutters to herself, "I should have known, wondergirl. Trust you to get to the baka first. Just what is it between you two?" Asuka then reaches the door to Shinji's hospital room, 'I will wait out here until wondergirl is gone.'

After fifteen minutes Asuka can hear voices coming from inside the room so she places her ear against the door. She then hears Rei say to Shinji, "Well that's good for you." Almost too late Asuka notices that the door is opening and jumps back away from it. Despite this she is still caught in an awkward position by Rei. Shinji sees this and starts sniggering. Asuka's expression darkens and she then storms off muttering, "Damn you wondergirl."

END FLASHBACK

The younger Asuka then asks her, "If you don't care for him why were you waiting outside of his hospital room? And why were you so worried about Rei getting there first?"

Asuka hesitates in replying, ".........Well......"

"And admit it you wanted him to kiss you that night when you were pretending to be asleep weren't you?"

"Umm well........"

"Well then are you going to answer me or what?"

Asuka angrily replies, "YES, I did want him to kiss me."

"You may have been angry towards Shinji for defeating the 14th angel on his own after you had been defeated by it, but you were also amazed that he had come back and piloted again weren't you?"

"Well ..............."

FLASHBACK

Nerv hospital after the 14th angel had been defeated

Asuka is having a check up after Unit 02's defeat by the 14th angel. Misato walks in to the room, she has a rather worried look on her face. She asks, "So how are you Asuka?"

Asuka still fuming at her defeat sarcastically replies, "Fine just fine. What do you expect Misato?" 'I can't believe it, I lost again.'

Concerned at Asuka's state Misato carefully answers, "Calm down Asuka, that angel was the toughest that we have faced so far."

Asuka spitefully asks, "So with the invincible Shinji deciding to run away, what at has happened to the angel? Did wondergirl destroy it?"

"No. Rei is in a serious condition in this hospital. She had no more success against the angel than you did."

Puzzled by what could have happened Asuka asks, "Well what happened then? Did the commander use the dummy plug in Unit 01 again?"

"No."

Her irritation increasing Asuka angrily asks, "Well, are you going to tell me or what?"

Misato calmly replies, "It was Shinji in Unit 01."

Amazed by what Misato has just told her, "........You mean that he actually came back and piloted again? I thought that the baka said he wasn't going to pilot again and was leaving for good this time."

"Yes he did. He came back without being asked and piloted Unit 01 again. He saved us all as the angel was actually inside of central dogma. In fact it was probably the most ferocious I have seen him fight in his Eva."

Asuka rolls her eyes and says in a scathing tone, "So the invincible Shinji saves the day once again."

Asuka's reaction angers Misato and she angrily snaps back at Asuka. "I can't believe you Asuka. Shinji came back and piloted Unit 01 and fought the angel, destroying it, all without being asked, he did it of his own free will. What would you have preferred that he didn't and the angel won and killed everyone?"

Shamed by what Misato has just said Asuka quietly replies, ".......No. So where is the baka then?"

"Well Unit 01 suffered some damage and Shinji was ....... um injured. He wasn't hurt to badly though but the injuries are awkward and he needs to be kept in isolation."

END FLASHBACK

The younger Asuka declares, "See you were amazed and proud of him because he came back."

Asuka hesitantly answers, "Y....yes. The confident invincible Shinji is......"

"Go on."

".....Is the Shinji that I .....I ......... love. .............. and I though that I lost him that time."

FLASHBACK

Misato's apartment 1 day after the attack of the 14th angel

A tired and worried looking Misato walks into the lounge room. Asuka is sitting on the lounge idly watching  television in an attempt to take her mind off the previous days events. Seeing Misato enter she asks, "Misato where is that baka Shinji? Is he still hiding in hospital? I thought you said that he wasn't hurt that badly."

Misato snaps at her, "ASUKA. ENOUGH OF THAT."

Asuka is shocked at Misato's reaction, "......... Is Shinji's condition worse than everyone first thought?"

Misato sadly replies, "Yes, you could say that........"

"So is he in hospital or what?"

"..........No he isn't."

Puzzled by Misato's answer Asuka asks, "So where is he then?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this Asuka, but he still is in Unit 01."

"WHAT!!! HOW? Aren't the eject codes working? Or is the damage worse than you first thought?'

"No, they are being blocked by the Eva. But when we eventually managed to get the video circuit to work we saw , or should I say we didn't see a thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"All that we could see in Unit 01's entry plug was Shinji's plug suit floating in the LCL."

"WHAT? Where is he then?"

"Apparently when Unit 01 went berserk, Shinji reached 400% synchronisation. The result of this was that he was taken into Unit 01."

Asuka's eyes widen in amazement at hearing this, "400%!!!!!!"

Misato sadly answers, "Yes. And we are not sure if we are going to be able to get him back."

Asuka is shocked at Misato's answer, "What!!!! You mean that the invincible Shinji is gone?............... 'He can't be gone...... not now....'

END FLASHBACK

Once the memory fades away, her younger self asks Asuka, "Yes you were worried that you had lost him weren't you?"

Asuka softly answers, "......Yes......."

"So are you going to let yourself lose him for good by just laying here? You should face reality and acknowledge that your friends care for you and that deep down you don't want to be alone or are you just going to lie here wanting to die?"

Asuka awakens screaming, "I don't want to die! I don't want to live alone! I am tried of being alone." Asuka then lies still in bed as she fully awakens. She blinks several times as the hospital room slowly comes into focus. "I though that someone was in this room visiting me. Who could it have been?" She turns & notices the flowers, card & note. "Flowers, red roses, my favourite. Who would have brought them?" Asuka picks up the card and reads 'To Asuka. Get well soon from Shinji'. Her eyes widen in surprise after seeing who the flowers are from, "He does care."

Asuka then notices the note and Shinji's SDAT. Puzzled why he would leave his SDAT there she asks, "What's this? That's his most valued possession; he goes no where without it. Baka Shinji." She then starts to read the note.

Dear Asuka,

            I am sorry it took this to happen for me to admit that I love you. I started feeling this way towards you probably since we piloted unit 02 together that time. That first time I saw you I thought that you were the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. You probably don't have the same feelings for me but I can understand that.

             You are normally so confident, so noisy, so full of life, it saddens me to see you just laying here like this. Especially since I have unfortunately found out the true reason why you pilot and act the way you do, I can see why you don't want remember your past, much less letting anyone else knowing it. I know that the 15th angel made you remember those painful things that you would rather forget, and by doing this it affected your very reason for piloting. I wish I didn't find out about what happened to you, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I am sorry I couldn't save you from that angel, but my father wouldn't release Unit 01. If I could done something, I would have Asuka, I would have disobeyed orders and done anything to save you and to hell with the consequences. But I couldn't, Unit 01 was well and truly locked down and my bastard of a father wouldn't release it.

              Much has happened since you were well. You may or may not remember Unit 00 self destructing and the resulting explosion destroying nearly all of Tokyo 3. The Rei we knew was killed in the explosion, but a Rei still exists. I found out that Rei is actually a clone using mostly my mother's DNA and they just made another Rei. I am not sure of exactly how I feel towards her now. The fifth child came to replace you, he even became my friend, but he turned out  to be the 17th angel. I had to chase him down right to the very heart of Nerv. He was very close to starting third impact, I had to kill him. Doing that was the most painful thing that I have had to do while piloting Unit 01, at least with Touji I wasn't in control of my Eva, but I was this time. Well Asuka, you were right as always, I am a baka, a wimp and a coward. So please accept the roses & my SDAT, as I won't be needing it any more, as I have decided to end it all.

Love Shinji

As she reads the note Asuka frowns and mutters, the volume of her voice increasing as she reads further. "Sniff. Baka Shinji. What???? How in the world could he know what that angel did to me? I bet that Misato told him the story of my mother, how else could he know about that?" Asuka's eyes widen in surprise when she reaches the part about Rei. "…….Wondergirl is a clone! I always knew there was something strange about her, but I would have never thought of that as the reason." She then gets to the end of the note and cries out, "What!!!! No don't do this now, not now. Why I thought that you were better than that Shinji."

An announcement comes over on the hospital's public address system, the same announcement can be heard throughout all of the Nerv facilities, "Red alert, red alert! All hands to battle stations! Prepare for Evangelion launch." Once Asuka hears this announcement she frowns and asks, "............. An angel? But I thought there were only supposed to be 17 and just who is piloting the Eva? If Shinji was stupid enough to do something to injure himself, wondergirl must be piloting Unit 01. But last time they tried her in Unit 01 it wouldn't let her pilot it, ....... unless she is in my Unit 02."

Asuka slowly eases herself out of the hospital bed and stands up; she is a little unsteady on her legs at first. "Come on Asuka you can do it. At least go and see what's happening." Asuka looks in the bedside chest of drawers for her clothes, a small smile appears when she sees that he favourite yellow dress is in there. She then changes into the dress; she then gets a small mirror out of the draw as well. She then looks at her face; her hair is a mess although she still has both of the neural transmitters in her hair. Her eyes are bloodshot and she has bags under her eyes. She is also thinner due to eating very little in the week that she spent wandering around the remains of Tokyo 3, as well as being fed by an IV drip for the following twelve days.

"Well you look as well as could be expected Asuka. Well I suppose you should go and see what's going on. Lets see the quickest way to the change rooms from here is via the Eva cages. That way I will get an idea of what's going on and if I even need to change at all, as they have probably written me off............" Asuka leaves the hospital room and starts walking as quickly as she can to the Eva cages.

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Unit 01's cage/ Command Centre

Misato anxiously asks Shinji, "Are you ready Shinji?"

Shinji quietly replies, "Yes."

Misato turns to Maya and asks, "How is he?"

Maya replies, "His status is stable, he does seem a little tense though."

Misato replies, "Well that's to be expected considering what happened three days ago."

"Yes, I am amazed that he agreed to pilot again"

"Begin start up sequence."

The bridge crew go though the stages of the start up sequence. Once the absolute borderline is cleared Shigeru reports, "Synchronisation level is stable at 65%!"

Upon hearing this Maya comments to Misato, "Well that's a lot better than what I expected."

Misato replies, "Yes, its over twice his last test score. I think that the talk he had with Rei and Touji must have done some good." 'Not to mention seeing that Kaji was actually still alive.'

Maya replies, "It would appear so.

"Release all locks and move Unit 01 to the third catapult."

Makoto answers Misato's order, "Roger. All lock bolts released, moving Unit 01 to the third catapult."

Unit 01 is moved to the third catapult. Once it is ready Shigeru reports, "Launch path is clear, Unit 01 is ready for launch."

Misato then asks Shinji, "Are you ready Shinji?"

Shinji replies, "Yes Misato." 'Well here I go again, hopefully for the last time.'

"Well good luck Shinji. Launch Eva."

Unit 01 shoots up the launch rails.

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Unit 02's cage

Asuka walks in to the cage and finds Unit 02 in cryostatis, at the same time Unit 01 shoots up the launch catapult. The cage technicians look at Asuka in shock. After seeing Unit 01's launch Asuka asks herself, 'Well they sent someone out in Unit 01, I wounder who?'  She then notices the looks she is getting from the cage technicians and angrily asks them, "Well what are you all staring at? Are you all new here or something? Haven't you all seen the designated pilot of Unit 02 before?"

One of the technicians bravely answers, "No....... well we heard............."

Although she was expecting the answer, it still managed to anger her. Fuming at how it appears that everyone has written her off Asuka angrily answers, "Well I have recovered, and I managed to get here didn't I? Just how long will it take to get Unit 02 out of cryostatis?"

Wary of Asuka the technician nervously replies, "At...... least a day."

"Shiest." 'Well I better phone Misato to find out what's going on.' "So where is the nearest phone to the command centre?"

The technician points to the wall near the entrance door and informs Asuka, "Over there."

Asuka storms off towards the phone with a rather irritated look on her face. When she reaches it she starts to dial the command centre.

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Command Centre / Surface of Tokyo 3/ Unit 01

Everyone is anxiously watching the main screen as Unit 01 shoots to the surface at one of the remaining lift towers. The positron rifle is set up on top of a weapons tower two hundred metres away.

Misato orders, "Ok, Shinji follow the plan. Deploy your AT field to maximum and then proceed to the positron rifle."

A mildly annoyed Shinji replies, "Yes Misato, I do remember the plan."

The shimmer of an AT field being deployed can seen, Unit 01 then starts walking towards the tower where the positron rifle has been set up.

A phone rings and Shigeru picks it up and answers it, "Hello, yes I will." He turns to Misato and tells her, "Major Katsuragi its for you."

Annoyed that she is being interrupted Misato angrily asks, "Who is it? Don't they know I am rather busy right now?"

 "Trust me major you will want to take this call." 'I would say that she is going to get a big surprise.'

Misato wounders as she picks phone up, 'I wonder who it is?' " Hello....."

Asuka's rather angry voice can be heard coming from the phone, "AND WHAT'S THE IDEA OF HAVING UNIT 02 IN CYROSTATIS? Didn't you expect me to get better?"

Misato's eyes widen in surprise as she quickly realises who is on the phone. "……Asuka?????"

"Who else? So who is fighting the angel?"

"Shinji is."

"You mean that he didn't try to do something extremely stupid to himself?"

"Unfortunately he did, but he didn't quite succeed." 'How does she know about that? He must have left her a note.'

"So what exactly did he try to do?"

"He tried to commit suicide by taking the remaining contents of a bottle of sleeping pills. Anyway how do you know about him trying to do something like that?"

"There was a note with the flowers that he left by my bed."

'Shinji bought flowers for Asuka! He does really care for her.' "So do you still have the note?"

Asuka curtly replies, "No I destroyed it."

'Did you really Asuka?' "I see."

"So what do you want me to do now, since I can't pilot Unit 02 due to its being frozen?"

'Well you obviously think that you could pilot it, if it wasn't frozen. Have you really recovered that much Asuka?' "Well Asuka you best come to the command centre then, Rei and Touji are here as well."

"What are wondergirl and that dumb jock doing there?"

While Misato was expecting Asuka to react how she did, Asuka's reaction still manages to anger her. Misato then sharply tells Asuka, "They helped me convince Shinji to pilot again, now I haven't any more time to waste just get here as soon as you can."

Taken back at Misato's reaction Asuka replies, "Yeah, yeah, ok ok, I will be there right away."

Meanwhile on the surface of Tokyo 3 Unit 01 has made it to the weapons tower that has had the JSSDF's positron rifle set up on top of it. The numerous large electrical cables supplying the power to the rifle disappear into the weapons tower. Unit 01 gets into a firing position and awaits the order to fire.

As all of the preparations have been made, as soon as Unit 01 is in position Misato orders, "Fire!" 'Lets hope that this works.'

The energy beam from the positron rifle streaks towards the angel, but it is stopped within meters of the angel, the hexagon pattern of an AT field can be seen. Seeing this happen Misato curses, "Shit!"

Makoto reports, "Major, we don't have enough energy to penetrate its AT field."

Shinji asks Misato, "What now Misato? Do we try again?"

The angel slowly starts to move away from where it has been regenerating after the N2 mine was used against it. Shigeru looks up from his readout and reports, "The angel is moving again! It is starting to head towards Unit 01."

Surprised by the angel's actions, Misato asks, "What already? I thought that there was possibly at least another three quarters of an hour before it had recovered. Shinji it appears that we don't have enough power to penetrate its AT field at this range, get ready to move to the next weapons tower."

Makoto reports, "The angel has stopped moving again! Detecting a high energy reading from the angel!"

Before anyone can warn Shinji, the angel sends an energy beam towards Unit 01. Shinji sees the beam coming and Unit 01 rolls out the way of the beam, but the energy beam hits the position rifle blowing it into pieces.

Misato rolls her eyes, grins and asks no one in particular, "Well I take it that the JSSDF won't be getting their positron rife back will they?"

The entry door to the command bridge opens revealing Asuka. Most of the bridge technicians look at her with a look of surprise on their faces. Misato looks at Asuka and smiles. "Asuka, good to see that you are out of your coma. As you can see I am a little busy at the moment." She points to where Rei and Touji are seated and asks, "So can you please go and sit with Rei and Touji."

Asuka scowls at this but looks up and sees what is happening up on the main screen. She tells herself, 'Now is not the time to argue Asuka.' "Yes Misato."

Rei and Touji are at the rear of the command bridge, Touji is in his wheelchair next to a row of five seats, and Rei is sitting beside him in one of the chairs. Asuka walks over to the row of chairs and sits at the opposite end away from Rei. Asuka glances at Touji and Rei and greets them, "Suzahara, won...." Asuka then remembers the part of Shinji's note about Rei being a clone and decides to try to be civil towards her, ".... er Rei."

Touji replies, "I am glad to see that you have recovered Asuka." 'You don't look 100 percent Asuka, but I suppose that's to be expected after being in a coma for nearly a fortnight.'

Rei returns Asuka's greeting, "Pilot Sohryu."

Unit 01 arrives at the second weapons tower and gets the two rocket launchers out. Unit 01 then starts firing the launchers while running towards the angel in a zig zag pattern at the same time. Unfortunately all of the rocket shells explode harmlessly against the angel's AT field. Despite this Unit 01 continues firing until the launchers are empty.

Realising he has no other choice remaining Shinji sighs and reports, "Closing in for hand to hand combat." 'Great! I was hoping I didn't have to do this.'

Worried by what might happen, Misato warns him, "Shinji be careful."

Unit 01 throws the empty rocket launchers to one side and gets its progressive knife out and holds it out in front at the ready. Unit 01 then starts sprinting towards the angel. When Unit 01 has closed within one hundred meters it holds the knife out ready to stab the angel, unfortunately the angel is ready and sends an energy beam towards Unit 01. Unit 01's AT field stops the energy beam but the impact still throws Unit 01 to the ground, which causes Shinji to grunt in pain and Unit 01 to drop the progressive knife in the process.

Misato anxiously asks him, "Shinji are you all right?"

Shinji shakes head to clear it, and replies, "Yes. What now Misato? Where did the knife fall?"

Misato sees the angel starting to head for Unit 01 with increased speed, anxiously orders, "Get back up Shinji, quickly!"

Unit 01 gets back up but no sooner has it done this and the angel is right in front of it. The angel's arms head towards Unit 01's neck, but Unit 01 grabs the arms before they reach their target. The angel and Unit 01 start to wrestle for control, with neither being able to gain the upper hand. Shinji grits his teeth in determination as he tries to overpower the angel. "Arrrrgghh. I can't seem to overcome it. Its is just as strong as Unit 01."

Misato replies, "Keep on trying Shinji. We will try to think of something here." 'I wish that Unit 02 wasn't so deep in cryostatis; two Evangelions may have had a chance..... that's if Asuka could still pilot it.'

In desperation Shinji realises, 'Maybe there is a way I can stop it. But it will cost me my life and destroy Unit 01. Well if it means freeing everybody I care from all this pain of fighting the angels, here I go.' Shinji freezes Unit 01 on its current command and starts to climb around to the rear of the command chair.

Maya sees the results of Shinji's actions appear on her terminal. Concerned she tells Misato, "Major! Unit 01 has ceased receiving commands from the pilot. Shinji has frozen it on its last command!"

Puzzled by what Shinji could be doing, Misato worriedly asks him, "What the hell? What in the world are you doing Shinji?"

Shinji reaches the rear of the command chair and he then pulls out and turns a switch, the words "Mode: D" then appear on the display.

This causes an almost immediate reaction by Maya who in an extremely worried voice informs Misato, "Major! Shinji has activated Unit 01's self destruct mode!"

Misato pales after hearing this and with voice stating to quiver yells over the intercom to Unit 01, " WHAT! NO. Shinji don't do this."

Shinji calmly replies, "It is the only way that I can stop it. Sorry Misato, thanks for looking after me. Tell Rei, Touji and Kensuke  thanks for being my friends. Could you also please tell Asuka that I was sorry I could not tell her what was on the note in person." He pauses momentarily before continuing, his voice taking on a rather angry tone, "Father, good riddance you BASTARD, you won't be able to use me as your tool any more."

A worried look appears on Asuka's face after hearing Shinji. 'I have to say something to him, I can't let him die now.' She gets up and a walks to a microphone and tells him, "Shinji.....don't do it........"

Of all the voices he was expecting to hear trying to convince him to stop, Asuka's is the one he was least expecting. Surprised by hearing Asuka's voice he asks, "..........Asuka?"

Inside the entry plug Shinji then hears a strangely familiar female voice, "It is not you time yet. You have much to live for my son."

This voice momentarily puzzles Shinji until he works out whose voice it is and asks, "......Mother??????" The self destruct countdown then reaches 10 seconds and Shinji's world goes black as the entry plug is pitched into darkness. Wondering what could be happening he asks,  "Uh?????? What's going on?" He then briefly feels the sensation of rapid movement; this movement throws him against the command chair hitting his head knocking him unconscious. Soon afterwards the countdown reaches zero, Unit 01 and the angel disappear in a blinding flash. The command centre is shaken by the blast, the main screen goes off line and several people including Misato are thrown to the floor.

Misato struggles back to her feet and while choking back tears asks, "Status of the angel?"

Although shocked by what has just happened Shigeru manages to shakily reply, "The........angel .......and.......Unit 01 were both............destroyed."

Misato anxiously asks, "........And Shinji?"

Shaken from what Shinji has done Maya still manages to answer Misato's question, "......... I don't know if the entry plug was ejected. Once the destruct sequence was initialised we only were received audio and visual of the pilot, all other telemetry was cut off by the Eva, and that area had no operating sensors, only long distance cameras."

Up on the commanders level of the bridge, Gendo sadly whispers, "Yui............."

Fuyutsuki hears Gendo's reaction and reflects, 'This wasn't in your plan was it Ikari? You pushed your only son too far and now you have lost him, the holder of the soul of your wife, and since that angel was Adam, well there goes the Instrumentality Project as well.'

Misato her voice quivering and with tears starting to fall, orders, "Stand down to condition yellow." She then slumps to the floor and starts crying, ".....Shinji why?"

Asuka is also struggling to contain her tears and silently asks, 'Why Shinji........ why did you always have to be so brave when you were in your Eva?'  She then storms out of the command centre before anyone sees her cry.

Touji hangs his head down and sadly shakes it as he tries to come to terms with what one of his best friends has just done. 'And you always said that you were a coward and a wimp Shinji......... that would have to be the bravest thing that anyone could have possibly done. If I hear anyone call you a coward, they will have to deal with me. Its the least that I could do for someone that was my friend.......' He lifts his head up again when he hears Asuka storm out. 'So she did care for him.'

Rei is still  staring at the still off line main screen with a frown on her face. 'Shinji...is this what happened to the second?......But you won't be coming back........'

In a voice devoid of all emotion Gendo orders, "Fuyutsuki, take over from here I am going to my office." He then gets up and takes the lift to his office.

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Well that is it for part 3. Again any comments etc appreciated.

Stay tuned for Part 4 – Why?/ The truth is revealed