DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
NOTE: I know there is NO way that they would be stuck in the room for so long, I just wanted them to get 'forgot what I did last night' drunk.
Also, I don't know if it's called a 'resequencer', but you know what I mean - that replicator thingie in the Mess Hall.
It could be useful to know how they're all sitting on the table so..........Archer, Trip, Malcolm, Hoshi, Travis, T'Pol, and then back to Archer.
DRUNK
Chapter Two - What shall we do with a drunken Vulcan?
"Well, that's the last of it." Archer said, pouring the remainder or the bourbon into Trip's glass.
"You finish it, Cap'n," Trip called over form the resequencer.
"Very kind of you, Trip. Thank you."
They had been stuck in the Mess Hall for a further thirty minutes, and had managed to finish the bourbon. Trip and Malcolm were now working on the resequencer to see if they could get it to make any more.
Engineering had unfortunately been called away from opening the door. Something was wrong with one of the conduits, or something. Archer hadn't exactly been listening at the time. But Trip had told them to got and sort that out first.
"We did it!" Malcolm exclaimed from the other side of the room.
" Did what?" Travis, who had returned - again - to the sandwiches asked.
"We got it to make whisky." Trip said triumphantly. "And beer." He smiled.
"How's it taste?" Hoshi asked Malcolm.
"Not bad," Malcolm, who had been drinking a glass of the whisky, replied.
"Captain," T'Pol said from the corner of the room where she had been sitting. "It is unwise to continue drinking." She walked over to where everybody else was gathered. "If the crew were to find you all in such a condition they would......" A hiccup interrupted the end of her sentence. "Never mind." She said, sitting down next to Archer.
"OK," Trip said, rubbing his hands together. "Who wants what?"
Archer and Malcolm had whisky. Hoshi and Travis had opted for beer. "T'Pol?" Trip asked. "What'll it be?"
"I do not think I should............"
"Ah, c'mon!" Trip interrupted.
"Very well," She said, placing her hands on the table. "I shall have a," she thought for a second. "Beer."
"Alright!" Trip exclaimed, walking to the resequencer. He passed the drinks around, then got himself a whisky.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Captain," T'Pol said, turning to her commanding officer. "I am beginning to feel.............odd."
"The whisky," Archer slurred. "Makes ya go funny," he said, leaning in closer to T'Pol.
"OK, Hoshi, it's your go."
"Nope," Hoshi said, shaking her head defiantly. "Not doing it."
"C'mon," Trip protested, "We all had a go."
"T'Pol never," Hoshi pointed out.
"Not her go till after you."
"Fine!" Hoshi said. Slamming her hand on the table in defeat. "Fine."
"'K," Travis said, sitting up straight. "Truth or........." he hiccupped. "True or dare?"
Hoshi pondered her options for a moment. "Truth."
"Have you ever," Malcolm began, but was interrupted by Archer.
"No!" he shouted, making T'Pol jump. "You're not asking. You aked Trip on his turn, and it was crap."
"It was a very interesting question." Malcolm said, sounding hurt.
"You asked me if I'd ever eaten dog food, Malcolm." Trip said, looking at Malcolm. "It really wasn't that great a question."
"What do you know?" Malcolm asked, waving his hand elaborately to encompass the whole group.
"The Captain and Commander are correct," T'Pol said, leaning forwards towards Malcolm. "It was indeed, crap." She emphasised the last word.
"Fine, screw you lot then," Malcolm said, before sitting back in his chair and folding his arms.
"Don't sulk, Lieutenant." Travis said, leaning behind Hoshi to pat Malcolm on the shoulder. "I thought it was a great question."
Malcolm smiled at Travis, then turned back to Trip and Archer and pulled a face.
"Ok," Archer began. "Hoshi, have you ever," He stopped and thought. Trip whispered something in his ear. "No way am I asking that!" Archer exclaimed. Hoshi gave Trip a look. Trip just shrugged his shoulders and smiled at her. "OK, have you ever.........."
"Eaten a raw potato!" Malcolm said from his seat before bursting into laughter.
"Malcolm!" Archer and Trip said in unison.
"No," Hoshi answered, looking relieved. "No, I haven't."
"No!" Archer said, waving Malcolm's question aside. "That's not the question!"
"It is, Sir," Hoshi said, "You can only ask one between you." She smiled, thankful that her question had been an easy one. "T'Pol?" She turned her attention the Vulcan. "Truth or dare?"
"Neither." She said, looking around the group.
"You gotta play, T'Pol," Travis said.
T'Pol looked at him. "I do not wish to."
"Neither did I," Archer said. "But I did, so you're gonna." He took a sip of his whisky. "And that's an order."
"Very well," She contemplated her decision. "Dare."
"I dare ya, to," Trip thought for a few seconds. "Damn, this is hard!" he said, picking up his whisky and taking a sip.
They had been in the Mess Hall for about and hour or two, and had been playing Truth or dare for the past half an hour or so. It had included, up until now, Malcolm singing 'My Generation' very loudly. Trip confessing to eating dog food as a child, Travis standing on one leg for five minutes, and Archer kissing Malcolm on the cheek. Neither Malcolm nor Archer had been too impressed by this dare. And now it was T'Pol's turn, and she had chosen dare.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Wha'll we do with 'er?" Malcolm slurred.
"Dunno," Archer said. "Trip?"
Trip didn't reply, he just shook his head.
"I don't think it was a good idea," Hoshi paused to hiccup, "to make her drink all that whisky." She said looking at Travis.
"Wasn't my idea," he said. "Was his," he pointed at Trip.
"Y'all agreed!"
T'Pol had been dared to drink as much whisky as she could before she thought she would either throw up or pass out. After about six glasses, the latter had happened. She was now slumped over the table.
"At least she'll stop," A look of confusion settled upon his face. "What's the word?" he asked.
"What word?" Travis asked, resting his head on the table.
"You know," Malcolm said, thinking, "the word?"
"We don't know, Malc, got no idea." Trip said, taking a sip pf his drink.
They had been in the room for a further half an hour. T'Pol had passed out about twenty minutes ago. However, having nothing better to do, the others had continued their game of 'Truth or Dare'. This time, they had made Malcolm kiss Archer, again to the horror of both. Archer had told them whom, out of all the crew, he'd most hate to be stuck in the Turbo-Lift with. To the surprise of everybody, it hadn't been T'Pol, but some man who helped Doctor Phlox in sickbay.
It was now Trip's turn.
"If you could," Malcolm began, but was cut off by Travis.
"If you had to kiss somebody one Enterprise, who'd it be?" Travis aked, not raising his head from the table.
"My question was better than that!" Malcolm protested.
"I somehow doubt that, Lieutenant." Hoshi said, taking a sip of whisky. "So, Commander, who'd it be?"
"I guess," he took a sip of whisky and thought for a while. "I guess it'd be Hoshi," he said, avoiding the looks he received for the rest of the group.
"What?" Malcolm asked.
Travis raised his head from the table. "He said you," He said, nudging Hoshi.
Malcolm laughed. "Trip and Hoshi, sitting in a tree,"
Trip glared at Malcolm, but it was no use. It simply prompted Travis to join in.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G." They sang together, incredibly out of tune.
"That's enough," Archer said, getting up and walking towards the resequencer. On his way, however, he somehow managed to trip over the leg of a chair. This made Malcolm and Travis laugh even harder. Even Trip and Hoshi couldn't help but laugh.
"OK," Archer said, standing. "Very funny. Ha Ha." He began to dust himself off. The laughter settled down, and Archer proceeded to get himself another drink.
"How's you do that?" Trip asked Archer when he's sat back down. "Chair's 'av only got one leg." He stated, sipping his drink.
"'Cus he's an idiot," Malcolm said. Then, realising who he'd just called an idiot, looked worriedly at his captain. "Sorry, Sir." He said.
Travis laughed, and then placed his head back on the table.
"Ever if I am an idiot," Archer said, looking directly at his Armoury Officer, "At least I don't laugh like a girl."
Malcolm looked shock and offended. "I do not!"
"Yep," Trip said, siding with Archer. "You laugh like a titmouse."
"Well, I......" Malcolm, lost for words, simply sat back in his chair and began to sulk.
"'K, Travis," Trip began, but got no reply. "Travis?" He asked.
"He's asleep," Hoshi said. She looked at Trip for the first time since he'd answered the question and smiled.
"Guess, as Malcolm's sulking, it's your go, Hoshi. Truth or Dare."
"Truth." She said, hopping it'd be an easy question. She was tempted to choose 'dare', but then, after what T'Pol, Malcolm and the Captain had been forced into doing, she decided against it.
"Who would you kiss?" Archer asked.
Malcolm's ears perked up once Archer had finished his question.
"I don't know," Hoshi said, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table.
"Gotta answer," Malcolm said.
"I guess," she thought for a moment, "I guess it'd be Commander Tucker." She said.
Before the other's had a chance to reply, the door was opened. Before them stood a team of engineer's.
"Hey!" Archer said, standing. " 's'bout time," he patted one of the engineer's on the shoulder and walked out of the Mess Hall.
Malcolm, after tripping over his own feet and nearly landing up on the floor, followed Archer into the corridor.
Hoshi woke Travis up who, after taking a handful of sandwiches, left the room.
"Sir?" One on the engineer's asked Trip. Trip turned to face him and nodded. "What should we do with Sub-Commander T'Pol?"
"Trip looked from T'Pol to Hoshi, who shrugged. "I dunno," Trip said. "What ever the hell ya normally do with a drunken Vulcan."
A/N: There was no Archer/Malcolm slash intended in this chapter - I know how your minds work! They only did it 'cus they were drunk, so don't go thinking what you were................
Also, when people are talking in this chapter and stuff's spelt wrong, it's meant to be.
I know this story is incredible unrealistic. I'll apologise again. But they'll be sober - although hung over - in the next chapter.
Anyway, LYL, Jen.
NOTE: I know there is NO way that they would be stuck in the room for so long, I just wanted them to get 'forgot what I did last night' drunk.
Also, I don't know if it's called a 'resequencer', but you know what I mean - that replicator thingie in the Mess Hall.
It could be useful to know how they're all sitting on the table so..........Archer, Trip, Malcolm, Hoshi, Travis, T'Pol, and then back to Archer.
DRUNK
Chapter Two - What shall we do with a drunken Vulcan?
"Well, that's the last of it." Archer said, pouring the remainder or the bourbon into Trip's glass.
"You finish it, Cap'n," Trip called over form the resequencer.
"Very kind of you, Trip. Thank you."
They had been stuck in the Mess Hall for a further thirty minutes, and had managed to finish the bourbon. Trip and Malcolm were now working on the resequencer to see if they could get it to make any more.
Engineering had unfortunately been called away from opening the door. Something was wrong with one of the conduits, or something. Archer hadn't exactly been listening at the time. But Trip had told them to got and sort that out first.
"We did it!" Malcolm exclaimed from the other side of the room.
" Did what?" Travis, who had returned - again - to the sandwiches asked.
"We got it to make whisky." Trip said triumphantly. "And beer." He smiled.
"How's it taste?" Hoshi asked Malcolm.
"Not bad," Malcolm, who had been drinking a glass of the whisky, replied.
"Captain," T'Pol said from the corner of the room where she had been sitting. "It is unwise to continue drinking." She walked over to where everybody else was gathered. "If the crew were to find you all in such a condition they would......" A hiccup interrupted the end of her sentence. "Never mind." She said, sitting down next to Archer.
"OK," Trip said, rubbing his hands together. "Who wants what?"
Archer and Malcolm had whisky. Hoshi and Travis had opted for beer. "T'Pol?" Trip asked. "What'll it be?"
"I do not think I should............"
"Ah, c'mon!" Trip interrupted.
"Very well," She said, placing her hands on the table. "I shall have a," she thought for a second. "Beer."
"Alright!" Trip exclaimed, walking to the resequencer. He passed the drinks around, then got himself a whisky.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Captain," T'Pol said, turning to her commanding officer. "I am beginning to feel.............odd."
"The whisky," Archer slurred. "Makes ya go funny," he said, leaning in closer to T'Pol.
"OK, Hoshi, it's your go."
"Nope," Hoshi said, shaking her head defiantly. "Not doing it."
"C'mon," Trip protested, "We all had a go."
"T'Pol never," Hoshi pointed out.
"Not her go till after you."
"Fine!" Hoshi said. Slamming her hand on the table in defeat. "Fine."
"'K," Travis said, sitting up straight. "Truth or........." he hiccupped. "True or dare?"
Hoshi pondered her options for a moment. "Truth."
"Have you ever," Malcolm began, but was interrupted by Archer.
"No!" he shouted, making T'Pol jump. "You're not asking. You aked Trip on his turn, and it was crap."
"It was a very interesting question." Malcolm said, sounding hurt.
"You asked me if I'd ever eaten dog food, Malcolm." Trip said, looking at Malcolm. "It really wasn't that great a question."
"What do you know?" Malcolm asked, waving his hand elaborately to encompass the whole group.
"The Captain and Commander are correct," T'Pol said, leaning forwards towards Malcolm. "It was indeed, crap." She emphasised the last word.
"Fine, screw you lot then," Malcolm said, before sitting back in his chair and folding his arms.
"Don't sulk, Lieutenant." Travis said, leaning behind Hoshi to pat Malcolm on the shoulder. "I thought it was a great question."
Malcolm smiled at Travis, then turned back to Trip and Archer and pulled a face.
"Ok," Archer began. "Hoshi, have you ever," He stopped and thought. Trip whispered something in his ear. "No way am I asking that!" Archer exclaimed. Hoshi gave Trip a look. Trip just shrugged his shoulders and smiled at her. "OK, have you ever.........."
"Eaten a raw potato!" Malcolm said from his seat before bursting into laughter.
"Malcolm!" Archer and Trip said in unison.
"No," Hoshi answered, looking relieved. "No, I haven't."
"No!" Archer said, waving Malcolm's question aside. "That's not the question!"
"It is, Sir," Hoshi said, "You can only ask one between you." She smiled, thankful that her question had been an easy one. "T'Pol?" She turned her attention the Vulcan. "Truth or dare?"
"Neither." She said, looking around the group.
"You gotta play, T'Pol," Travis said.
T'Pol looked at him. "I do not wish to."
"Neither did I," Archer said. "But I did, so you're gonna." He took a sip of his whisky. "And that's an order."
"Very well," She contemplated her decision. "Dare."
"I dare ya, to," Trip thought for a few seconds. "Damn, this is hard!" he said, picking up his whisky and taking a sip.
They had been in the Mess Hall for about and hour or two, and had been playing Truth or dare for the past half an hour or so. It had included, up until now, Malcolm singing 'My Generation' very loudly. Trip confessing to eating dog food as a child, Travis standing on one leg for five minutes, and Archer kissing Malcolm on the cheek. Neither Malcolm nor Archer had been too impressed by this dare. And now it was T'Pol's turn, and she had chosen dare.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Wha'll we do with 'er?" Malcolm slurred.
"Dunno," Archer said. "Trip?"
Trip didn't reply, he just shook his head.
"I don't think it was a good idea," Hoshi paused to hiccup, "to make her drink all that whisky." She said looking at Travis.
"Wasn't my idea," he said. "Was his," he pointed at Trip.
"Y'all agreed!"
T'Pol had been dared to drink as much whisky as she could before she thought she would either throw up or pass out. After about six glasses, the latter had happened. She was now slumped over the table.
"At least she'll stop," A look of confusion settled upon his face. "What's the word?" he asked.
"What word?" Travis asked, resting his head on the table.
"You know," Malcolm said, thinking, "the word?"
"We don't know, Malc, got no idea." Trip said, taking a sip pf his drink.
They had been in the room for a further half an hour. T'Pol had passed out about twenty minutes ago. However, having nothing better to do, the others had continued their game of 'Truth or Dare'. This time, they had made Malcolm kiss Archer, again to the horror of both. Archer had told them whom, out of all the crew, he'd most hate to be stuck in the Turbo-Lift with. To the surprise of everybody, it hadn't been T'Pol, but some man who helped Doctor Phlox in sickbay.
It was now Trip's turn.
"If you could," Malcolm began, but was cut off by Travis.
"If you had to kiss somebody one Enterprise, who'd it be?" Travis aked, not raising his head from the table.
"My question was better than that!" Malcolm protested.
"I somehow doubt that, Lieutenant." Hoshi said, taking a sip of whisky. "So, Commander, who'd it be?"
"I guess," he took a sip of whisky and thought for a while. "I guess it'd be Hoshi," he said, avoiding the looks he received for the rest of the group.
"What?" Malcolm asked.
Travis raised his head from the table. "He said you," He said, nudging Hoshi.
Malcolm laughed. "Trip and Hoshi, sitting in a tree,"
Trip glared at Malcolm, but it was no use. It simply prompted Travis to join in.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G." They sang together, incredibly out of tune.
"That's enough," Archer said, getting up and walking towards the resequencer. On his way, however, he somehow managed to trip over the leg of a chair. This made Malcolm and Travis laugh even harder. Even Trip and Hoshi couldn't help but laugh.
"OK," Archer said, standing. "Very funny. Ha Ha." He began to dust himself off. The laughter settled down, and Archer proceeded to get himself another drink.
"How's you do that?" Trip asked Archer when he's sat back down. "Chair's 'av only got one leg." He stated, sipping his drink.
"'Cus he's an idiot," Malcolm said. Then, realising who he'd just called an idiot, looked worriedly at his captain. "Sorry, Sir." He said.
Travis laughed, and then placed his head back on the table.
"Ever if I am an idiot," Archer said, looking directly at his Armoury Officer, "At least I don't laugh like a girl."
Malcolm looked shock and offended. "I do not!"
"Yep," Trip said, siding with Archer. "You laugh like a titmouse."
"Well, I......" Malcolm, lost for words, simply sat back in his chair and began to sulk.
"'K, Travis," Trip began, but got no reply. "Travis?" He asked.
"He's asleep," Hoshi said. She looked at Trip for the first time since he'd answered the question and smiled.
"Guess, as Malcolm's sulking, it's your go, Hoshi. Truth or Dare."
"Truth." She said, hopping it'd be an easy question. She was tempted to choose 'dare', but then, after what T'Pol, Malcolm and the Captain had been forced into doing, she decided against it.
"Who would you kiss?" Archer asked.
Malcolm's ears perked up once Archer had finished his question.
"I don't know," Hoshi said, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table.
"Gotta answer," Malcolm said.
"I guess," she thought for a moment, "I guess it'd be Commander Tucker." She said.
Before the other's had a chance to reply, the door was opened. Before them stood a team of engineer's.
"Hey!" Archer said, standing. " 's'bout time," he patted one of the engineer's on the shoulder and walked out of the Mess Hall.
Malcolm, after tripping over his own feet and nearly landing up on the floor, followed Archer into the corridor.
Hoshi woke Travis up who, after taking a handful of sandwiches, left the room.
"Sir?" One on the engineer's asked Trip. Trip turned to face him and nodded. "What should we do with Sub-Commander T'Pol?"
"Trip looked from T'Pol to Hoshi, who shrugged. "I dunno," Trip said. "What ever the hell ya normally do with a drunken Vulcan."
A/N: There was no Archer/Malcolm slash intended in this chapter - I know how your minds work! They only did it 'cus they were drunk, so don't go thinking what you were................
Also, when people are talking in this chapter and stuff's spelt wrong, it's meant to be.
I know this story is incredible unrealistic. I'll apologise again. But they'll be sober - although hung over - in the next chapter.
Anyway, LYL, Jen.