So thanks for reviewing and my day was slightly better today. I decided this will be my Dashboard Confessional fic as the song in this one is by them too. Actually it was just because this song fit and I was listening to them. But please review to this one too. It would make me very happy.
Disclaimer: Oh, yeah, so they aren't mine. And I don't own the song either.
Monica walked back to her apartment in a daze.
"I'm getting a divorce." That's what he had said, right? He was getting a divorce. After five months of marriage, they were divorcing? What had happened? What had gone wrong? Not that she minded. She didn't mind at all. She needed to talk to him and unfortunately he was currently MIA. She gave a slight nod of the head to Henry and embraced the silence of the elevator. She pressed her button and leaned her head back. She remembered what had happened. She remembered perfectly what had happened between the two of them and it all started with her marriage to Richard.
Three years before:
"Richard proposed to me," Monica told her friends and extended the finger where a ring sparkled on her finger.
"Oh Monica! What a ring!" Rachel said hugging her best friend. "Can I be maid of honor?"
"Of course not," Phoebe interrupted. "That's my job." Monica laughed.
"Are you sure he's good enough for you?" Ross asked.
"Oh Ross," Rachel said placing her hand on his arm. "Of course he's good enough. He's a doctor."
"He's also twenty-one years older than her," Chandler butted in and Monica waved her hand to dismiss the thought.
"I love him." That was enough, Chandler thought to himself. She loved him. And she will never love me. Unrequited love blows, he mentally thought, but he plastered on a smile and hugged his best friend.
"I'm happy for you then," he lied. Well, it was a half lie. He was happy that she was happy, but that was where his happiness stopped and the pain began.
Chandler watched her come down the aisle on the arm of her father and she was smiling brightly. Her heart was beating fast at the prospect of what she was about to do, and Chandler's heart was breaking at the prospect of what she was about to do. Richard stood at the alter waiting for his bride. A bride that by all the laws of the universe should not belong to him. Well, the laws of Chandler's universe. Which he now realized meant nothing to anyone else. He loosened his tie to be able to breath, and when that didn't work he closed his eyes. At least he wouldn't actually watch her getting married.
"Hey buddy, are you okay?" Joey whispered.
"I just....don't feel well today," Chandler said.
"I'm sorry, well, make your appearance at the reception and then leave," Joey suggested shrugging and then returned his attention to his friend's wedding.
"Right." Chandler opened his eyes to see the groom kiss the bride. His heart twisted and he stood up and clapped for them as they left the church hand in hand grinning broadly.
"Ross," Chandler tugged on his friend's arm. "Tell Monica congratulations, I don't feel so good. I think it'll be better if I go home."
"She'll be so disappointed," Ross said. "But go home, I hope that you feel better." Chandler nodded and slipped out of the church. He had no intentions of going home, and every intention of getting drunk.
This ruined puzzle is beige
with the pieces all face down
so the placing goes slowly
the pictures of anything other than it's meant to be
Monica got back to her apartment and let her coat drop to the floor. She crossed to the kitchen and pulled out a pint of ice cream. If there was ever a time for ice cream, this was it. She stuck her spoon in and took a bite and sighed. The phone rang and she let the machine pick it up.
"Monica? Are you there? It's Christopher. Wow, I think this is the first time that you've been up before nine on a Saturday. I wonder what the occasion is. Call me back when you get in." She took another bite and devised a plan to find Chandler. She stood up and grabbed the directory and began calling the hotels to see if he was listed.
"My luck," she muttered. "He'll stay in the Sheraton or something." She dialed the next one and asked for Chandler Bing's room. It was raining harder now. That was funny. It had rained the day that she showed up soaking wet at his doorstep when she found out Richard had cheated on her.
Two years before:
"He cheated on me," she managed to squeak out before she broke down in tears.
"Come in," he opened the door wider and ran to the bathroom to get her a towel. He wrapped it around her shoulders.
"I'm sorry Chandler," she sobbed into his shoulder. "I shouldn't be taking this out on you."
"No, it's fine. What happened?"
"I came home and they were.....he was....he had a....Oh God!" Chandler knew that it would be awhile before she could get the story out and so he just held her.
"It's going to be okay," he whispered.
"How?"
"I don't know, but it will be."
"I never thought that he would ever do that to me," she sobbed. "He was never supposed to hurt me." No, Chandler thought. No, he was never supposed to hurt you. I'll kill him.
"Here, Mon, go get in the shower and I'll take your clothes down to the laundry room and dry them." He let her go and rummaged through his drawers before finding a t-shirt that was a little too small for him, and a pair of sweatpants that he had grown out of a long time ago. They would still be too big on her, but they would do. He handed her the clothes and watched as she wiped the tears from her face and closed the bathroom door. He sighed and fell back onto the couch. He cheated on her? Who could possibly compare to Monica? Joey came into the apartment fresh from his date and heard the water running.
"Whose here?" He asked.
"Monica."
"What is she doing here?"
"Richard cheated on her." Chandler watched as Joey's face got red and his features contorted in anger.
"I'll rip him limb from limb," he announced.
"I know, get in line," Chandler said.
"I'm going to get Ross and we're going over there," Joey said and he held up his hand to stop Chandler's warnings. He slammed the apartment door shut and went across the hall to what was now Rachel and Ross's place. Monica came out with the t-shirt wet from where her hair fell onto it. Her eyes were swollen and she stumbled into Chandler's embrace.
"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "It's going to be okay." And then he just held her. He held her for hours.
but the hours they creep
the patterns repeat
but don't be concerned
You know I'll be fine on my own
I never said "Don't go."
don't go
"Yes, he's in room 232," the desk clerk told Monica. "I can put you through if you would like."
"Um, no. That's okay." Monica hung up the phone. She had gotten to the M's before she found him. She found an umbrella and pulled on her coat to brave the rain to get to the hotel. Once there she found room 232 and knocked on the door. No one answered. She slipped down onto the rug in the hallway and was ready to wait it out for him. She fiddled with the end of her umbrella until she heard the elevator open and she jumped to her feet. It was him. He was covered in rain.
"Monica?"
"We need to talk...again."
"I think we're done talking," he said.
"No, we've just begun to talk about what we need to talk about." He shrugged and opened the door and they walked in. Monica sat on the corner of the bed and cleared her throat.
"What's left to talk about?" Chandler asked.
"Why are you getting a divorce?" He shrugged again.
"It didn't work out."
"It's only been five months."
"So?"
"So! That's a pretty short amount of time Chandler. What went wrong?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Would I have asked if I didn't?"
"She wasn't you." That was not the answer that Monica was waiting for and it took her by surprise.
"I....well....I don't know....."
"Monica, listen. I don't know why I came here. I know that I'm sorry for what I said to you. I honestly didn't mean it. I was angry. I still am, and they just came out. It was never because I believed it, but just because I was so mad. The second thing was, I didn't blame you for not coming to my wedding. If I could go back, I wouldn't have shown up at yours at all."
"If I could back I wouldn't have gotten married," Monica whispered.
"Well, we all make mistakes."
but I've hidden a note
it's pressed between pages
that you've marked to find your way back
it says
"Does he ever get the girl?"
They both sat in silence waiting for the other to say something else.
"Monica."
"Yes?"
"Did you ever love me?"
"Once. I thought I did once."
"Before or after Richard?"
"Before, after, and during."
"Oh." Silence once more fell over them like a veil.
"Did you ever wonder if we would have done things differently if everything would have been okay?"
"What do you mean?" He turned his attention to her. She was not facing him, rather she was facing the wall. Her face held a thoughtful expression.
"If I hadn't gotten married, if I had talked to you about the offer to move here before I took it. Wasn't that what made you the most angry?" How did she know? He gave a chuckle. They knew each other too well.
"Yes. The fact that I could be tossed aside for a promotion. That hurt the most."
"So you hurt me." It was not her blaming him. It was the truth. She had hurt him by moving to Seattle and so he had thrown words at her that he knew would sting. It was juvenile and it was uncharacteristic, but that was reality.
"Yes. I hurt you."
"How long are you here for?"
"A few days."
"Maybe we can get dinner? And make it through without ripping each other's heads off?"
"That would be okay." Chandler stood up and walked her to the elevator. Monica nodded and stepped inside.
"Call me," she said handing him a slip of paper with her number as the doors slid shut.
but what if the pages stay press?
the chapter's unfinished?
the story's too tough to unfold?
Does he ever get the girl?
A year and a half before:
"Want to catch a movie?" Chandler walked into Monica's apartment.
"Sure," She put her book on the table and straightened herself out. "What movie?"
"Doesn't matter," Chandler grabbed the paper and began to flip through. He watched as Monica poured over the movie listings looking for one that would be good. The two of them had been inseparable since her divorce. He was more than willing to be there for her twenty-four hours a day if she should so chose.
"What about this one?" She pointed and he nodded.
"That would be fine. We could grab a bite to eat afterwards."
"Okay, let me go change and then we can go," she disappeared into her bedroom and Chandler sunk down into one of her chairs. He noticed the book that he had given her for her wedding was still sitting on the selves. He wondered if she had ever opened it. He guessed that she hadn't because she would have said something about it. She came out a minute later and he threw a glance back and followed her out of the apartment.
He sat a few months later. Alone. She was gone. She had moved to Seattle leaving him behind. And those horrible things that he had said to her. That she didn't deserve the job that she had to have slept with that guy to have been offered it in the first place. His mind wandered back to the book. She had never opened it. She had never read what he had put in there.
"Come on Chandler, we're all going out," Phoebe said coming into the room.
"Who?"
"The whole gang."
"Not the whole gang," he muttered.
"Chandler, she's been gone a month."
"I know Pheebs, but....she shouldn't have left in the first place."
"Chandler, this was her dream. Did you want her to give up her dream?" Chandler knew it was selfish, but yes. He had wanted her to give up her dream for him. He had thought that he was worth it. He would have given it up for her. He would have given up anything for her.
"Hey, you guys coming?" Joey came to the door and peered in. Phoebe shrugged.
"Come on man," Joey pleaded. "There's this girl who I think that you would like. Her name is Brittany."
"We've only been broken up for a month," Chandler said turning the chair away from his friends.
"Chandler, you never actually dated!" Joey said and Phoebe put her hand on his arm to calm him down, but Joey shook it away. "No! You went out on a few actual dates, but all those months, they were just her trying to get back on her feet and leaning on her friend. They were not months spent dating. At least not to her. You act like she committed some horrible sin! A few kisses and dinners does not make you a couple. What she did, did not make her a horrible person." Joey grabbed his coat and slammed the door as he left. Chandler turned back to Phoebe.
"Does everything think this?" He asked.
"Most of us think that you are blaming her for something that she never did, yes. But Chandler...." He held up a hand to stop her.
"Whose this Brittany?"
well this basement's a coffin
and I'm buried alive
I'll die in here just to be safe
I'll die in here just to be safe
cause you're gone
I get nothing
you're off with barely a sigh
I never said goodbye
Monica found herself rifling through old boxes when she got home after seeing Chandler. Her hand hit something hard on the bottom. She pulled it out and studied it. It was the book that Chandler had given her for her wedding gift.
"I never read it," she said out loud to no one in particular. She stood up and was about to open it when the phone shrilly rang breaking the silence in the apartment. She ran to answer it hoping that it was Chandler.
"Hey stranger, you never called." Nope, no such luck. It was Christopher.
"Hi Chris."
"Where have you been?"
"A friend from New York came in unexpectedly and so I went out to breakfast with him and then we just talked for awhile." She wasn't lying to him. He had no idea who Chandler was, so even if she did say his name, Christopher would not know who he was or what history went along with that name.
"Oh, so I guess you don't want to go to dinner tonight," he said.
"Not tonight, Christopher." She never called him honey or sweetie. She had used those terms all the time before. She never used them any more.
"That's fine. Call me when she leaves town." How funny that Christopher automatically assumed that it was a girl.
"Okay." Well, what he didn't know couldn't hurt him right? They hung up and Monica went back to where the book was sitting. She picked it up and opened it gently. A piece of paper fluttered to the floor.
"Hmm," she said leaning down to pick it up. She read in Chandler's distinct writing six words:
Does he ever get the girl?
but I've hidden a note
it's pressed between pages
that you've marked to find your way back
it says
"Does he ever get the girl?"
but I've hidden a note
it's pressed between pages
that you'll read if you're so inclined
"Does he ever get the girl?"
As she sat studying the paper, there was a knock on her door. She stood to answer it. Chandler stood on the other side.
"Hi."
"Hi." She leaned against the doorframe.
"Want to grab that something to eat?" He asked.
"Sure, come on in." He nodded and stepped in. "Let me go get a sweater." She disappeared down the hall and he saw that his book was sitting open on the coffee table. The paper was laying next to it. She had read it.
"Chandler?" Her voice floated through the air. He couldn't find his voice to answer.
"Yes?"
"What did that mean?"
"What?" Act stupid, he commanded himself.
"That note. The one that was tucked in my book."
"Oh."
"Oh? It said, 'does he ever get the girl?'"
"Yeah. What about it?"
"What did that mean?" She waited for an answer. He figured that she must know, and just wanted to hear him say it.
"It meant....the he....I mean.....the girl was you."
"I figured. And were you the he?"
"Yes."
"Oh." She glanced at the book open on the table. "So?"
"So what?"
"Does he?" She glanced at his face and waited for an answer. He didn't know what kind of answer she wanted. Obviously he hadn't gotten the girl.
"No."
"Maybe he should try again." Chandler looked and saw that she was smiling.
"Maybe. You ready to go?" She nodded and he held open the door for her. As she was passing by she gathered the courage and kissed him square on the mouth.
but the hours they creep
the patterns repeat
but don't be concerned
I'll be fine on my own
I never said don't go
don't go
Does he ever get the girl?
Please review and I'll write the next part if I get at least like...I don't know 6 reviews? So review. Review. I mean it people, start typing those reviews!