So Much Is Everlasting
The soft warm glow of the fire shone lightly upon Frodo's face as he slept in the study resting his head upon Bilbo's desk. His hand lay over the pages of his writing, smudged with the passing of his fingers as he moved through his sleep. Many months had since passed when he and Sam finally returned from Rivendell after their adventure came to its end. Frodo now drew himself away into the confines of the study where he wrote feverishly for hours on end within the pages of Bilbo's book about the events that had come to pass over the last year. A deep sigh passed by Frodo's lips and his eyes slowly opened as he looked to the fading fire at his side. His neck ached and his back had grown stiff from the long hours he had sat within the chair lost in peaceful sleep. Frodo stretched his arms out before him as he sat up arching his back against the chair. He sat in silence for a moment gathering all his papers that had fallen from the desk and onto the floor while he slept. As he sat them upon the desk a soft whisper came from the doorway and he turned to see Sam standing there with a gentle smile held on his lips.
"Good to see you awake Mr. Frodo." Sam replied softly. "You've been napping in that spot long before the sun ever fell." Sam then came into the room and knelt down before Frodo helping to gather the last few papers scattered upon the floor. Frodo sat in silence watching contently as Sam arranged the papers in his hands before reaching up to Frodo and holding them out before him. For a moment their eyes did not part but Sam blushed and turned his face away as Frodo's fingers swept along his own when he took the papers from his hands.
"Thank you Sam." Frodo whispered setting the papers within his lap. "You are such a dear friend."
"No thanks are needed sir." Sam said as he stood to his feet. "Just doing my job is all. That's what I'm 'ere for." Sam smiled and then glided his hands along his shirt and trousers straightening out the wrinkles worn in from a long day of work. He then looked to Frodo as he sat before him, lost within his thoughts as he had been through the days past. A deep sigh fell past Sam's lips and he leaned towards Frodo placing his hands upon the arms of his chair.
"Does you no good holding things inside." Sam replied softly leaning back to sit upon the stool that Frodo would often rest his feet on when he sat before the fire. Sam then drew his hands away from the chair setting them within his lap as he sat in silence before his master. Frodo sighed deeply drawing his hand to his chest as he took his gem that hung from his neck within his grasp. No words passed by his lips as he held Sam in a silent stare. He did not dare speak of what was truly on his mind. Sam seemed to grow concerned as Frodo's silent moment fell into minutes with not so much as a blink from his eyes. Sam reached out placing his hand upon Frodo's knee and he flinched seemingly waking from a dream.
"It's not like you Mr. Frodo being so quiet and all." Sam whispered. Frodo said nothing in return as a gentle sigh fell past Sam's lips. "There must be something I can do to help." Frodo looked to Sam with deep concentration. There was nothing he could do to help for what troubled him could not be driven away. Not even the hands of Elrond or the powers of Gandalf could heal this festering wound. Frodo then focused upon Sam's eyes. Their soft chestnut shade of brown stared back at him with a growing intensity. Frodo then noticed Sam's hands shaking within his lap, as he grew uneasy with Frodo's stare. Frodo seemed to look right through him as though he was not there. Again Frodo looked to Sam's hands as he began to fumble with his golden wedding band as it caught the last light of the fading fire. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes drawing his hand to his brow.
"Frodo?" Sam whispered with anxiety fearing that Frodo was slipping away. Frodo opened his eyes as his skin trembled hearing Sam's voice fall upon his ears. The face of his dear friend was before him, his eyes full of deepening concern. Frodo then felt a chill come over him and his began to shiver as he drew his hand up to his left shoulder.
"See there I got letting you catch a chill as the fire fades beside me." Sam replied looking to the fireplace. "I've been sitting here talking to myself so it seems letting my mind wander away from what it is I'm supposed to be doin." Sam then came up from the stool and knelt before the fire. He took some logs up off the floor and gently placed them on the flickering embers of the small fire within the hearth. Sam took some crumpled papers from the dusty corner of the room and threw them into the fireplace watching as they took light warming the fresh logs upon the fire. Sam waved his hand lightly fanning the fire until it began to burn brightly once again. He then drew his arm along his forehead wiping away the beads of sweat that had formed upon his brow. Sam's soft golden curls fell along his face as he turned back to Frodo with a sweet and gentle smile.
"There you be Mr. Frodo." Sam said as he stood to his feet. "Quite a nice warm fire you've got going here now. It should keep you warm on this cold autumn night."
"Warm." Frodo replied to himself with the faintest whisper. It wasn't the warmth of a fire he needed but the joy that had once filled his heart before his journey to Mordor.
"That's right." Sam said as he placed his hand on Frodo's shoulder. "At least you're talking again though I wouldn't call one word a full conversation." Sam laughed as he patted Frodo's shoulder before sitting on the stool once again rubbing the back of his neck. Frodo's face grew saddened as he looked upon his dear friend's visage for the past year had worn him thin leaving his face a shadow of the joy and carefree happiness it once held. Though Sam tried in vain to hide all that was lost to him after leaving the Shire, Frodo knew that he too had a pain within his heart and it pained him even more knowing that he in part caused it. Frodo sighed deeply trying to pass the thought from his mind but it could not seem to draw its self away.
"Well it's getting late." Sam said as he took his hand away from his neck. "I can't see myself keeping you awake any longer than I have trying to get you to open up. Maybe with the coming 'morrow you'll say something more." Sam then came up from the stool but Frodo grasped his hand before he could walk away.
"Don't leave me Sam." Frodo said softly his eyes growing wide. Sam could say nothing as he stood before Frodo while his master held tightly onto his hand.
"I am sorry if I have not been acting myself." Frodo whispered as Sam finally came to sit back down upon the stool. "It has been two years Sam." Frodo said touching his fingers to his left shoulder. "To this day to be exact since that night on the hill at Weathertop." Sam fell into silence. For it was true. Two years from this day all was dark in the dell on the road from Bree.
"The wound still pains me, even to this day." Frodo sighed looking to Sam's face as he turned to the door seemingly looking for a means of escape. Sam never did like to talk about that fateful evening for it only reminded him of the moments that passed him by as he watched his master fade before his eyes. Sam then closed his eyes and turned to Frodo taking in a deep breath before opening them once again.
"The memory of that night even comes to haunt me now and again." Sam whispered with a sigh. "I can not lie and say it does not hurt me too but I try to press it from my mind. It only reminds me of what we had before we set out to get rid of that retched thing you once bore around your neck." Sam then brought his hands to his mouth realizing his words seemed harsh as Frodo closed his eyes shaking his head as he turned away from Sam.
"Oh dear master Frodo, I am so sorry. Sorry for everything I have said." Sam cried coming down from the stool falling to his knees before Frodo.
"You should not be the one crying dear Sam." Frodo whispered looking down to Sam as tears fell from his eyes. "It is I who should be asking for your forgiveness since I am the one who asked you to go along. If it had not been for me your life would not have been changed."
"Nay." Sam said taking Frodo's hands into his. "Without you sir I would not be as strong as I am today. I reckon things could have been different if I had not gone along but I would not have it any other way."
"Oh Sam!" Frodo cried through his tears taking Sam into his arms. "Where would I be without a friend such as you."
"I don't wish to think it." Sam replied taking his hand to his face drying away his tears.
"Nor do I." Frodo said through a smile as he helped Sam back to his feet. For a moment no words were spoken as they both stood in silence before catching each other in a tight embrace. Sam then came away and put his hand into his trouser pocket drawing out a well worn and crumpled piece of paper.
"What have you there?" Frodo asked as Sam slowly unfolded the paper. Sam said nothing but smiled as he read over what was written upon the page before looking up to Frodo his cheeks blushed red.
"I was never much on writing but you know I always like recitin' some of the lovely poems I hear." Sam replied softly looking over the paper once again. "Well I took a try at it quite a while back while we stayed in Rivendell with Bilbo before we came back home."
"Could I?" Frodo asked holding out his hand.
"You may." Sam said quietly. "I'm just sorry it's so wrinkled with my hands constantly fussing with it. I've always kept it close so others couldn't read what I wrote cause I never thought it to be good." Frodo then took the paper from Sam's trembling hand and held it out before him reading the words that had become smudged with Sam's nervous fingers.
For My Master
We began on a journey
Together you and I
On a quest unbeknown
Towards the mountain in the sky
Though peril and anguish
We met along the way
Together we stayed strong
To make it through the day
With you at my side
And I there near yours
I often dreamed at night
Of a far and distant shore
Now where it all started
We are here once again
In this house of healing
Both you and I my friend
For the end has finally come
Though I never wished to be
On this fateful journey
If you were not here with me
Frodo silently folded the paper within his hand and looked to Sam his face wet with tears. A soft smile was on his lips as he reached to Sam pulling him into his arms.
"Words can not say how much you mean to me dear Sam." Frodo whispered. "So many thanks are in order for you have touched a special place within my heart." Sam then came away from Frodo drying away the tears that had begun to fall along his cheeks.
"I'm so glad you liked it." Sam said smiling as Frodo began to hand the paper back to him. He then pulled his hand away and turned back looking to Bilbo's book lying open upon the desk.
"I have a better place for this." Frodo replied reaching over and placing Sam's poem between the pages of the book. Frodo then closed the cover and took the book up into his hands setting it on a small table nearby. He then put his hand to his left shoulder rubbing away the last bit of pain that still seemed present upon his skin. A gentle sigh passed by his lips and then he came to Sam setting his hand on his shoulder.
"I think now the time has come for both of us to rest." Frodo said quietly. "The 'morrow shall bring with it more happiness I am sure." Frodo then led Sam to the door taking the small golden knob into his hand as he made ready to close the door behind him. Sam went quietly down the hall and Frodo turned back towards the room looking to Bilbo's book as it caught the light of the moon from the open window on its deep red cover. A smile came to Frodo's face and then he drew the door closed knowing within his heart that no one could ever replace his dear friend Samwise Gamgee.