By Hika-Chan
Chapter 3: A Vacant Room- Kurt to Kitty
"This is Kurt Wagner calling from Muir Island.Who's this?"
"Marrow! What the #&$@ do you want!?"
"Ahh, you must be new. Be a Darling and put one of the 'real' X-men on, would you? there's a leibchen..."
"'Real' X-men? 'REAL' X-MEN?! Why you lousy Moth-"
"Oop" I pulled the phone away from my ear before the distinct sound of the phone being crushed was followed by the dialtone. "I'll.. uh.. call back."
That was a few minutes ago and now I'm heading towards my room. I stop when I see Pete Wisdom's back as he turns a corner further down, jacket over his shoulder and suitcase in his hand. So that's it? He's leaving just like that? One minor indescretion on Kitty's behalf and it's over? He must really love her then, for it to hurt so much that he feels he has to go. That is it right? I can't help but think back to when we were in Germany at the club. He told me there were "Plenty o' other birds in the bush." And before that in Hong Kong. What was it he said? "You know birds, Wagner, they say they want a stable an' steady relationship t' keep you at the nest. But they're just waitin' f'r ya t' turn yer back an' fly the coop themselves" For an instant I am surprised at my memory.
I had thought that before Pete's other relationships were probably never serious. That an... well perhsps he doesn't see it as a "minor" indescretion. Well I would think that a not so serious relationship would easily bowl over such an incident as it were. Afterall if emotions are not so involved it would be easier to rationalize... wouldn't it?
"Plenty of fish in the sea" huh? I can imagine he might know what I was feeling now. There are pleanty of other birds, other fish, but none are remotetly like Kitty. If he really loves her shouldn't he give her a second chance? I know I would. Ahh but Wisdom is not me, he is a spy. It is hard to gain a spy's trust, and harder to keep it. Anyone could see that when he first came to us, he wanted nothing to do with anyone. He didn't drink so much then, probably because he was on the job... But Kitty got through to him and he trusted her completely. He must be hurting now but what about Katzchen?
I step foward approaching the open door to him room and I hear Lockheed coo in an attempt to comfort her. I stop for a second, wondering if she wants to be alone. I only take a single step in. Katzchen's eyes seem to stare deeply and blankly over the expanse of the place, as though taking in every detail of the now vacant room. The only evidence that it was recently occupied was the unmade bed and a few scraps of trash on the floor. Empty cigarette box or two here, a scrap of paper there. I don't want to disturb her but I feel I should ask. I am not going to ask if she is alright. I know she will lie and say she is fine, that she'll pull through. So instead, "Katzchen... do you want to be alone?"
The barest sad laugh escapes her lips, it's more a strangled gasp than a laugh. "Don't worry," she says quietly, "There's plenty of time for that later." I try not to wince, the tone in her voice is so dull, so forlorn. It's not like Kitty at all. I place a hand on her shoulder trying to offer some feeble comfort. "He didn't leave me anything Pete. Not a single thing," she choked but for some reason she wasn't crying. I could tell she wanted to. "I have nothing left of him except some dumb photos, memories and pain... He didn't even leave a tie."
"He is not gone yet." As soon as I say it I wish I hadn't.
"Yeah.. he is. But it's hard to believe, that's why I haven't cried yet." She smiles sadly, her eyes are glazed with unshed tears. I wish I could do more to comfort her. "I... I keep hoping that before he gets on that boat, he's gonna change his mind and come back here. And if he does it wouldn't do for me to look all puffy and crying when he does." The smile falls, "I have to be strong. I have to get through this. I have to. I am an X-man. I am Shadowcat. I took on Sabretooth and beat him. I have fought sentinels and aliens and supervillian mutants. I can't let one spy beat me."
She always tries so hard to be strong, but something tells me that will not work in this case, not for long. If she does not bend in this instance she will break, but the one she wants to pick up the pieces won't be there to do it. I wonder if she realizes this is a completely different battlefield. One she has never been in the middle of before. True she has had previous love and affection for others and them for her. Never before has it been both ways at the same time though.
I scan the room, looking for a sign of the man that was once here aside from the smell of Malboro cigarettes and alcohol, mostly scotch probably. I can't tell her that he'll come back if he loves her. If I do I know what she would probably say. "What if he never comes back? What if he doesn't love me then? What if he never loved me?" I cannot say that to her, especially not now. I stop a moment as a darker spot under the bed catches my eye. I go over and crouch down, she's finally looking at me, watching me curiously. I grab hold of the fabric and pull it out. It's one of his old trench coats, the one he wore when he first arrived by the looks of it. The bottom portion is so tattered and torn that it only would go down to his knees as opposed to nearly the ground as it should have. I grin, holding it out to her. "Does the man never throw anything out?"
She laughs weakly, gratefully and takes it from my hands and hugs it tightly to her chest. "Is there anything I can do for you Katzchen?" She shakes her head. I think of a joke, she could use a laugh. I just hope she doesn't take it too seriously. "Are you sure?" I ask humor obvious in my voice. "There is still time for me to beat him up if you like." But I have no right to, it was not him who started this. I wish it was because then I could beat him... then again if that were the case she would probably beat me to the punch.
Once again the happy-sad laugh and she forces a smile for me. "Nah, we'll just say that when Piotr beat him up counts for this." There is humor in her voice but I see she is reliving the fear she felt that day. I regret making the joke now.
As I watch her cross the vacant room to the window I wonder if the two will end up together again. If he will eventually return or if she will run after him. The two are such opposites but fit so well together, a fit too perfect for them not to. Perhaps they will come together again, like Scott and Jean, but hopefully without so rough a road. Suddenly I remember a time when we used to thikn Kitty and Piotr would end up together in the end. But no, that was nothing like this. Even before Pete came along Kitty had grown up and Piotr had not. Though it amazes me how much he has already changed in his time here, maybe there is still hope for the teo of- No. I will not predict Katzchen's future love life, nor will I push her back towards Piotr. Is she wishes to go there she will.
I notice her body tense, she must be able to see Pete out the window. "Kurt..." she almost whispers so I have to strain to hear. "Could you take Lockheed with you when you go? I want to spend some time alone."
She wants her time alone soon, I can gather as much. I hold out my arm and the dragon flies over to me, carefully landing on my shoulder. I am not so used to holding his weight but I manage. "I will see you later then Katzchen." I begin to head towards the door but she calls my name again so I stop and turn to her, she is still looking out the window. "Yes?"
"Just so you know... if something comes up tonight, or if you need to find me in the morning," I think I know where this is going, I can imagine her biting her lip as her head tilts down. "I'm going to be sleeping in here tonight ok?"
"Of course it's ok Katzchen." You don't always have to be so strong.
"Good, because I'm going to be weak tonight, and in the morning..." her voice trails off.
"You should take more time than that if you need it Kitty."
"Kurt?"
"Yes?" She turns to me and smiles weakly, but appreciatively. Her eyes are very wet but no tears have fallen yet. "Thank you."
"It was nothing. Do you wish me to leave you now?" She nods, and though I know I should leave quickly I do not teleport to hasten my departure. I'm sure she wants to savor in the smell of cigaretts and alcohol that she has now grown accustomed to, and I will not spoil that for her. I never used to see it before, but Pete has been good for her, to her. He was good for us as a team as well. As I close the door behind me quietly leaving Kitty to herself in a vacant room I cannot help but find myself realizing that Kitty is not the only person who wishes he would stay. As much as he tries to hide it, Pete Wisdom is a good man, and as much as I try to deny it I have grown to like him. And so as I walk back down the hall with Lockheed on my shoulders I make a silent prayer. Please help them find each other again, then they will have back their happiness and we will have back our friend.
Yes, as much as it hurts to admit this right when he's leaving, Peter Wisdom is my friend.