Gah. Well, time for another retitled score in my opinion. I can't
believe it's been like, four years since I wrote the J&H one. Wow.
Well, this time I decided to do Ragtime. just for kicks. We'll see
if it turns out as funny. As always, real titles are in parantheses.
ACT ONE
~~~~~~~~~~
1) In 1902...Actually, Who The Hell Cares? (PROLOUGE:RAGTIME)
2) You Heartless Bastard! How Could You Leave Me Like This?(GOODBYE MY LOVE)
3) I'm Going to Find the Eskimos! Wheee!!!! (JOURNEY ON)
4) Yes, We Even Had Trashy Showgirls in 1906! (THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY)
5) Dammit! This Baby is Taking up Space in My Garden! (WHAT KIND OF WOMAN)
6) Uhh....Why Isn't This Song in English? (A SHTETL IZ AMERIKE)
7) America is the Land of Opportunity. Oh Crap, No it's Not. (SUCCESS)
8) A Rather Pointless Song in Which Coalhouse is Introduced (HIS NAME WAS COLEHOUSE WALKER)
9) Dance Break in Which Coalhouse is Cleaned up and Somehow Gets a Car (GETTIN READY RAG)
10) Wow! An Assembly Line! (HENRY FORD)
11) Why Immigrants Keep Their Kids on Leashes (NOTHING LIKE THE CITY)
12) I Hate The Jackass Who Abandoned Me (YOUR DADDY'S SON)
13) Uhh...Isn't This Called Stalking?!! (THE COURTSHIP)
14) In Which Father Comes Home and Discovers Strange People Living in the Attic (NEW MUSIC)
15) We're So Happy! Let's Go For a Ride in the Car! (WHEELS OF A DREAM)
16) Poor Little Rich Boy Joins the Rebels (THE NIGHT THAT GOLDMAN SPOKE AT UNION SQUARE)
17) Yes, You Too Can Become Rich Off Of Crummy Flipbooks! (GLIDING)
18) Let's Take a Crap on This Car For No Reason Other Than To Move The Plot Along (THE TRASHING OF THE CAR)
19) A Pathetic Attempt To Get the Car Back (JUSTICE)
20) This Woman Has Done Nothing Wrong. Let's Kill Her. (PRESIDENT)
21) AUUGGGHHH!!! Nooooooo!!!!!!!! (TIL WE REACH THAT DAY)
ACT TWO
~~~~~~~~~~
1) Loud Ominous Music (ENTR'ACTE)
2) Oh No! The Strange Little Boy Had a Psychic Dream! (HARRY HOUDINI, MASTER ESCAPIST)
3) Wheeee!!! I'm Crazy Now!!! (COALHOUSE'S SOLILOQUY)
4) Coalhouse is a Terrorist! But He Still Sings Pretty, So the Audience Loves Him Anyway (COALHOUSE DEMANDS)
5) Number That Has Nothing to Do With the Rest of the Show (WHAT A GAME)
6) Let's Burn More Firehouses! I'm a Crazy Man! Wheeee!!!! (FIRE IN THE CITY)
7) Running Away Will Solve All Our Problems. Or Not. (ATLANTIC CITY)
8) Ooh! The Immigrant is Rich Now! (BUFFALO NICKEL PHOTOPLAY INC)
9) Little Kids Are Cute (OUR CHILDREN)
10) Pretty Music Makes Ghosts Appear (HARLEM NIGHTCLUB)
11) Wait! I Thought She Was Dead! What's She Doing Here??? (SARAH BROWN EYES)
12) I Know How to Blow Things Up! (HE WANTED TO SAY)
13) God, I Hate My Life (BACK TO BEFORE)
14) Coalhouse You Moron! Get Out of That Library! (LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE)
15) All This Because of a Car?! (MAKE THEM HEAR YOU)
16) Yeah, So Everybody's Dead Now (EPIGLOGUE: RAGTIME)
believe it's been like, four years since I wrote the J&H one. Wow.
Well, this time I decided to do Ragtime. just for kicks. We'll see
if it turns out as funny. As always, real titles are in parantheses.
ACT ONE
~~~~~~~~~~
1) In 1902...Actually, Who The Hell Cares? (PROLOUGE:RAGTIME)
2) You Heartless Bastard! How Could You Leave Me Like This?(GOODBYE MY LOVE)
3) I'm Going to Find the Eskimos! Wheee!!!! (JOURNEY ON)
4) Yes, We Even Had Trashy Showgirls in 1906! (THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY)
5) Dammit! This Baby is Taking up Space in My Garden! (WHAT KIND OF WOMAN)
6) Uhh....Why Isn't This Song in English? (A SHTETL IZ AMERIKE)
7) America is the Land of Opportunity. Oh Crap, No it's Not. (SUCCESS)
8) A Rather Pointless Song in Which Coalhouse is Introduced (HIS NAME WAS COLEHOUSE WALKER)
9) Dance Break in Which Coalhouse is Cleaned up and Somehow Gets a Car (GETTIN READY RAG)
10) Wow! An Assembly Line! (HENRY FORD)
11) Why Immigrants Keep Their Kids on Leashes (NOTHING LIKE THE CITY)
12) I Hate The Jackass Who Abandoned Me (YOUR DADDY'S SON)
13) Uhh...Isn't This Called Stalking?!! (THE COURTSHIP)
14) In Which Father Comes Home and Discovers Strange People Living in the Attic (NEW MUSIC)
15) We're So Happy! Let's Go For a Ride in the Car! (WHEELS OF A DREAM)
16) Poor Little Rich Boy Joins the Rebels (THE NIGHT THAT GOLDMAN SPOKE AT UNION SQUARE)
17) Yes, You Too Can Become Rich Off Of Crummy Flipbooks! (GLIDING)
18) Let's Take a Crap on This Car For No Reason Other Than To Move The Plot Along (THE TRASHING OF THE CAR)
19) A Pathetic Attempt To Get the Car Back (JUSTICE)
20) This Woman Has Done Nothing Wrong. Let's Kill Her. (PRESIDENT)
21) AUUGGGHHH!!! Nooooooo!!!!!!!! (TIL WE REACH THAT DAY)
ACT TWO
~~~~~~~~~~
1) Loud Ominous Music (ENTR'ACTE)
2) Oh No! The Strange Little Boy Had a Psychic Dream! (HARRY HOUDINI, MASTER ESCAPIST)
3) Wheeee!!! I'm Crazy Now!!! (COALHOUSE'S SOLILOQUY)
4) Coalhouse is a Terrorist! But He Still Sings Pretty, So the Audience Loves Him Anyway (COALHOUSE DEMANDS)
5) Number That Has Nothing to Do With the Rest of the Show (WHAT A GAME)
6) Let's Burn More Firehouses! I'm a Crazy Man! Wheeee!!!! (FIRE IN THE CITY)
7) Running Away Will Solve All Our Problems. Or Not. (ATLANTIC CITY)
8) Ooh! The Immigrant is Rich Now! (BUFFALO NICKEL PHOTOPLAY INC)
9) Little Kids Are Cute (OUR CHILDREN)
10) Pretty Music Makes Ghosts Appear (HARLEM NIGHTCLUB)
11) Wait! I Thought She Was Dead! What's She Doing Here??? (SARAH BROWN EYES)
12) I Know How to Blow Things Up! (HE WANTED TO SAY)
13) God, I Hate My Life (BACK TO BEFORE)
14) Coalhouse You Moron! Get Out of That Library! (LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE)
15) All This Because of a Car?! (MAKE THEM HEAR YOU)
16) Yeah, So Everybody's Dead Now (EPIGLOGUE: RAGTIME)