Truth and lies. (part four)
The coming morning was as beautiful as the one before. Seifer rolled and tossed around his bed. He was dreaming of the faceless person known as Cold-as-ice. His alarm clock started to ring and Seifer rose to sat. He wiped the dreams away from his eyes and started a new day.
He got to the lessons and sat on his usual place in the back of the class. Instructor nodded happily that he was there and Seifer just smiled. Perhaps he would have the guts to take his studies more seriously, because he had something what to wait for. But it was just this one day.
Deep in his heart Seifer felt bad. He felt bad about the fact that he wasn't being honest to Squall. But if he told him, he probably wouldn't believe. They were still rivals.
Seifer wrote everything what the instructor told them. Today it was something about Junctioning Guardian forces and using their abilities in fights. Even if Seifer knew everything about these things, he took the courses again. When he was controlled my the sorceress his own mind was wiped away.
Guardian forces had also done their tasks in making him forget things from his own childhood. For example if an ordinary remembered many things from their ages from five to seven, Seifer didn't. His memories were only short visions of distant places and childhood games. He didn't remember anything about his own parents, he had been in Edea's orphanage with the rest of the gang, except for Rinoa. Seifer started to memorize.
It was hard to remember. Seifer noticed that a small piece of paper had been thrown on his table. He turned around and viewed the class. Who might it be from? he didn't know anyone of these people. He opened it and it said:
Hey Gunblader!
I'll be seeing you by midnight in the secret area.
Hope that you'll be there! ^_^
Yours: Cold-as-ice.
He was here? In this class?? Seifer got nervous. He could see him all the time. The letters on the paper were written with a weird handwriting. He couldn't recognize it. After the bell rang Seifer went to the corridor and took the elevator to the bottom floor.
Clock was only three in the afternoon and Seifer was free to go or do what he was willing to do. It would not be a bad thing to study some more, so he went to the library. Library was filled with people who were studying. Seifer squeezed the paper in his pocket as he tried to find a free space in the full library.
After a short viewing in the back of the library he found a lonely place in the corner. He sat there and picked his books from his bag. ''The history of GF using'' was on top. He grunted and rolled his eyes. This book was good for nothing. It was interesting to read about the legendary GF Phoenix but all of the stats and abilities were boring. He leaned on the soft pillow and took his reading position.
''Hi Seifer..'' Said a depressed voice, which belonged to the headmaster Squall Leonhart. Shouldn't he be in charge of making things happen? Wasn't it headmaster's responsibility to take care of the ship? Well Squall was still young and it wasn't a wonder that he was here. He used to spend his time wondering in the corridors, like old times.
''Hey Pubertyboy.. watcha doing here?'' Seifer snarled. If it would have been someone else there interrupting his studies, but because it was Squall well you know the rest.
Squall sighed and pressed his hands on his face. His grey eyes had a maniac glow. Seifer wondered what was wrong with him.
''Rinoa left me..'' like Squall could read his mind. His body was relaxed and he was down. Tired were those eyes of his and Seifer started to feel worried deep in his mind.
''She left you?? ((That bitch!!))'' Seifer replied with wide eyes. Squall just nodded and it was like his body was shaking.
''Yeah, she just came and told me that it was over. She didn't tell me any better reason. Squall darling, I guess that we are not good together after all..'' he imitated her voice and murmured something alone. Seifer shook his head and started to think.
'' Well why do you tell it to me?'' Grey eyes were turned on Seifer.
''because I thought that it would be better to tell to someone who I'm not so good with. People around me like Selphie, start to pity me and I have learned to hate pity. Their company is too cheerful.''
''Huh? So now you are saying that I'm not cheerful? Am I some sorta grave digger nah?? ((Of course I'm not cheerful!! I'm down because I lied to you))
''Well 'cause we are enemies, almost, it's just natural that you don't start to pity me. But to be honest you weren't so good last night either so now that we are here why don't you tell me why were you acting so strange?''
''Hah! But you have to promise that you won't start to scream or argue with me. I'm doing this only for me. ((To help my fucking feelings for you, and to get rid from this pain!))
''Okay then, tell me what was so terrible that you saw?''
Seifer lowered his voice and bowed across the table that the rest of the library wouldn't know about their things. He narrowed his blue eyes and whispered to Squall.
''I saw Rinoa hugging Quistis. They are together and love each other. Don't feel guilty, it isn't your fault!''
''So you are telling me that Rinoa is...a lesbian but she seemed to love me!!''
''She is just a normal bitch, she takes a man or a woman and throws them away after quick usage. That's the way BIs are..''
Squall was pale, he was silent. He leaned back on his chair and looked shocked. Not her Rinoa, not her loved one!! That's why she acted so strange these past months. They had managed to play along to show others that things were good, even if they weren't. Now he would just live along, but it would take time.
''Maybe it's better that I'll go and have a rest. Seifer thanks for being honest with me and thanks for caring about my feelings. You are not a bad person after all..'' said Squall and managed a short smile to the golden-haired blonde sitting before him.
Seifer nodded for goodbye and let him go. He hadn't been honest with himself, not again but now he started to think that maybe Squall was better with someone else. Suddenly he remembered the paper in his pocket. Seifer ran to his Dormitory. It was better to take a nap before the night-adventure.
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Alarm clock rang again. An hour before midnight Seifer woke up. He felt like a bat, living at night time. With a soft laugh he went to the toilet and started to make himself ready to meet the person. Was this some sort of a date? He thought as he eyes himself from the mirror. Perhaps it was, because the person was a guy after all. He brushed his hair and used some gel on it to keep it nice and shiny. The one and only stubborn hair still kept appearing before his eyes. Seifer hated it but to be honest, it made him look sexy, so did the scar. Scar from Squall. Uhh! Now was time to have some fun, not to worry about him.
Seifer's wardrobe was full of clothes. Many of them he didn't use at all. He grabbed the whole pile of shirts and found the matching pants, a pair of blue jeans. He chose a sleeveless, black top with white tribal-print surrounding his chest. He dressed up and took his jacket. This can do. He looked fine in his opinion and if the other didn't like it then it was his problem.
Ten minutes before midnight Seifer sneaked to the corridor. This time he had luck, because he didn't meet anyone. Moon shone brightly and the sky was diamond filled. Seifer rushed towards the secret area, a balcony in Training center. He was alone there, but now he started to view the sky. Stars were bright and their glow was dream-like.
''So you made it..'' Said a familiar sounding voice from the shadows of the balcony. Seifer turned around and saw a very familiar person standing behind him.
''So YOU are Cold-as-ice?'' Whispered Seifer in amazement. Before him stood Irvine Kinneas, cowboy hat shadowing his eyes. He wore brown pants and a white shirt. The smile on his face was wicked and his eyes glew in the dark night.
''Yep that's me. And I knew that you were Gunblader.'' Irvine laughed and took the hat off so that his brown hair flew in the wind. Brown eyes were sad, somehow close. Seifer nodded his head. He felt troubled. So it was Irvine all along.
''If this is some kind of a joke then I'm not on the mood!!'' Seifer snarled and his blue eyes turned evil. Irvine shook his head and turned his hat around in his fingers. It was hard to think what to say.
''It's not a joke. I mean this honestly and I even sent the note and everything. Why would I have so much trouble to make a joke? It was pretty hard to make one of your classmates to give that to you.'' Irvine was hurt, but he head to act hard.
Seifer hummed and crossed his hands on his chest. His eyes wondered to the sky and to the moon which shone bright and beautiful. When he looked at Irvine he saw inside him, he saw the wise and helpful person in chat. He was very beautiful in a feminine way but Seifer liked him, somehow. But it wasn't the looks that mattered.
''Okay, I believe you but it just felt weird. What would you have against me, feelings? Lonely sharpshooter searching love from a stupid gunblader?'' Seifer grinned. Irvine laughed softly and wiped his hair away from his eyes.
''You are right.. I must tell you.. I feel for you but you see it's not that simple to tell when you love someone else.''
Again he was right. Seifer noticed that Irvine had the same problem as he had with Squall, loving someone else. But now things would take another direction if he was quick enough.
''Why me? I don't get it, what do people see in me? I have always been a bad person and nowadays I'm just a good-for nothing-prick..'' Seifer said and nodded with his shoulders. Irvine came and placed his hand on his shoulder.
''You think and you are funny. I don't give you any other reasons. It is just the way it is and I have to accept things as they are..'' He sighed and blinked his eyes. They saw a shooting star travelling across the black velvet sky. Seifer noticed Irvines hand, but in his surprise he didn't push it away.
''To be honest I dunno if I love Squall anymore, I would never be able to get him. But you have something in your nature familiar to me, we both are desperate. You in loving me and I in loving him. ''
''So now you are telling me that I have no chances for you?'' Irvine smirked and took his hand away.
''Sharpshooters should be on their own anyway.. Have a nice life, but I'll be always loving you..''
''I didn't say that you have to leave..'' Seifer walked behind him and prisoned him in his arms by forming a tight belt around the slim cowboy's waist. Irvine turned around in amazement and smiled.
''So then I'll stay, but now you'll have to be honest with me: Would you ever start loving me?''
Seifer eyed the sky again. Squall had been there in his early childhood, but perhaps he wasn't his love anymore. He was so distant and somehow cold. They could never be together and maybe it was better if they stayed as enemies. Something in Irvine woke up desire in Seifer. He was so beautiful in moonlight and he was his soul's mate. They understood each other perfectly and that was enough.
''I have been lying to myself, when I said that Squall was mine. You were there, but now you are close and you understand..'' Seifer murmured and pressed himself closer to Irvine, who took the blonde under his hand. It was like a wing around him, warm and protective. Irvine smiled and kissed Seifer's cheek.
''So you'd love me then? Not that it matters but I'm just fine with you if we get together..''
''Hey!! You are not cold-as-ice, you are hot-like-fire!'' Teased Seifer as he pressed himself closer to his cowboy. Irvine smiled and kissed him again and this time Seifer didn't hold back.
To be ended aka THE END!
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Under the stars we are, under the same
velvet sky, where the night surrounds us.
Under the stars we are, sharing the same dream
the dream, to be loved again
to be human.
Paths of life lead us wrong,
made our ways go separate.
But still I felt your scent in me
during most lonesome winter nights
Arms so soft and gentle,
make me willing to live on.
You give me power, to believe in
our dreams.
You don't see my tears, but
you sense that my heart
is crying, willing to be loved,
loved again.
Don't ever leave me alone,
in this loneliness
which even the moon can't understand.
Promise to love me forever.
-From Irvine to Seifer-