Chapter 19:
That evening.
Chloe burst through the door of her apartment, sprinting for the answering machine. It was blinking! She had messages. "Breathe, Chloe, breathe," she couldn't help the jovial giggles erupting from her throat. She pressed the "play" button, holding her breath.
"You have one message. Message One." Chloe groaned as Nancy's voice came through the speaker.
Feeling that ball of energy burning in her tummy cool, she decided to just take a nice, warm shower and reflect on the day some more. Brady had confessed his love for her. He loved her. She hardly believed it. In fact, she almost convinced herself it was all a wonderful dream. "But it wasn't a dream," Chloe murmured to herself. "It's real." She looked to her left hand and the ring shining back at her, the ring Brady had slipped into her purse earlier today. "This is real." She couldn't stop smiling. Is this what it felt like to be in love? To love someone, really love them, and know they loved you in return? She was sure she never wanted this feeling to end. Looking at her reflection in her bathroom mirror, she boldly began a little mini striptease, shaking her shoulders, the whole bit, slowly shedding her clothing, imagining she was doing this for Brady. Knowing him, he'd probably be laughing hysterically at her by now. "Oh, Brady," she murmured, stepping into the warm cascade of water, tumbling from the showerhead. "I love you Brady. I love you," she whispered to no one. "But what happens now? Do I call you? Do I wait for you to call?" Letting the water, soak her hair and body, she thought of Brady and this passed week of missing him, longing for him and seeing him here, in Salem, this morning.
[i] "Yeah." Brady blew out a breath. "I mean, granted, I want to fall in love again, but."
"But you don't believe in love," Chloe finished for him.
"That's not entirely true," he smiled sheepishly, blushing slightly. "I just don't think I'll ever find it.[/i]
She began to lather her thick hair, pulling out a few tangles by running her fingers through it.
[i] "You believe in soulmates?"
"I know," he held up his hands in mock surrender. "Surprise, surprise. Contrary to popular belief, I'm really all mushy and warm and fuzzy inside. It's disgusting." He laughed.
"You're a great guy, Brady," Chloe looked at him seriously. "And you'll find love and it'll be even better than it was before. You'll see."[/i]
She couldn't stop smiling as she lathered the bar of soap between her hands.
[i]"I love you, Chloe."
"What," she said quickly, feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of her.
"I love you." He released his finger on the button. "I'm in love with you."[/i]
She nearly squealed with happiness but the feel of her ring slipping off of her finger and clanking onto the bathtub floor had her breath hitching in her throat. "No," she rasped. Kneeling down, she tried to see through the falling water and feel her way around for the ring. "Ahhh," she shouted as the shampoo formerly sudsing her hair, ran down her face and into her eyes. "No. my ring," she cried, not seeing it or feeling it anywhere under her searching fingers. She quickly shut off the water, ignoring the shampoo stinging her eyes. "No," she felt hot tears mix with the shampoo. "Oh G- d," she cried. Her ring was gone, down the drain, lost. Was this some kind of sign? She felt herself begin to hyperventilate.
And hour and twenty minutes later, after having dug through the shower drain with a metal hanger she'd straightened out, Chloe was curled up on her couch, in gray sweats and in choking tears. Her ring was long gone. She blew her very raw, very red nose and buried her face in a couch cushion. The sound of her phone ringing brought her out of her despondent state. Chloe's body almost wracked with sobs when she let the machine pick it up and Brady's voice floated over to her guilty ears.
"Chloe?. Hey Chloe. It's me Brady. If you're there, pick up." He breathed heavily into the phone. "Well, I was just at work.thinking about you. thinking about today. I meant what I said. I love you, Chloe." He chuckled. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying it. I hope you don't ever get tired of hearing it. Of course, if you only want friendship right now, I can handle that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Just." he sighed. "I hope you're not mad that I slipped your ring back in your purse, but I want you to have it. It represents so much to me. Ahhh. I'm rambling and well, I feel kind of foolish saying all of this to a phone. I'd rather be talking to your face. Besides I think my father is listening outside the door," he laughed again. "So uhh. if you want. to talk. ummm. call me later, okay?" He put down the phone with a soft click.
Chloe sobbed into the cushion, the sobs shaking her body with a force that physically pained her heart. She felt so guilty. Ugh. What was she going to tell Brady?
**************************
Brady put down the phone and leaned back in his chair at his desk. Chloe wasn't there. Maybe he would give her a call again later. "Don't smother her, Brady," he muttered to himself. "You just told her you loved her today. Give her some time to process that."
"Brady?" John stuck his head in the door.
"Dad, I was just leaving." He stood and met his father at the door.
"Yeah kid, you been here all day." He walked with his son to the elevators. "So you called Chloe, huh?"
"Yeeessss," Brady rolled his eyes and smiled. He told his father what happened earlier and apparently, his father told everyone he knew because suddenly Brady was bombarded with congratulatory calls from Belle, Shawn, Mimi, Marlena and strangely enough, Maggie.
"Well?"
"Well what, Dad?"
"Don't well 'what me,' son. What happened?"
"She wasn't there."
"You going to call her later?"
"Maybe."
"Maybe!?"
"Dad, I don't even know why I'm discussing this with you. This is none of your business," he ran a hand through his hair.
"You think so huh? Well, Chloe wouldn't have even come by if I hadn't. I mean. uh.." he trailed off.
"Oh no you don't," Brady's face scrunched. "What did you do, Dad?"
"Nothing," John scoffed.
"It all makes sense now. 'Hey son,'" Brady mocked his father. "'Get me that Pinchapenny report a.s.a.p. I have a delivery I want to be here for.'"
"Do you hate me?" John gave him a sheepish smile.
"No Dad," he gave him a small smile. "I don't hate you. Truth is, if you hadn't interfered, I never would have gotten the nerve to see Chloe on my own, much less tell her I'm in love with her."
"Ehh. you would have gotten around to it eventually."
"Yeah well. thanks for the push," he nudged his father's shoulder.
"Thank your sister. She put me up to it."
Brady groaned. John laughed.
*************************
Two Days Later. Lunch Time. Salem Place.
"Oh G-d Belle, I can't find it anywhere," Chloe whined. The passed two days had consisted of ignoring all of Brady's phone calls and looking for an exact copy of the ring she lost down the drain. She was a woman possessed, on a mission. She had gone to every freaking jewelry store in Salem twice and was completely. unsuccessful.
Belle groaned. It was as if Chloe was obsessed with finding this ring. She'd even made her promise not to tell Brady what was going on. She'd had to lie to her own brother. Telling him, Chloe hadn't spoken to her for a few days and that she had a lot of things going on at work. Consequently, Brady's confidence was shot. He wasn't stupid. He was being rejected, or so he thought. So, Belle was ready to tell Brady everything. Chloe was being so damn silly. "Chloe, for G-d sakes, Brady will understand that you lost the ring."
"I know it," she sighed. Deep down she knew Brady wouldn't care if she lost some silly object. What they had represented more than that. That's what scared Chloe so much. If she could lose her ring that easily, so carelessly.
Belle was shocked Chloe had agreed so easily. "Well then why-"
"It scared me, Belle," she said simply, plopping on a bench.
"I'm confused," Belle replied, shaking her head. "What scared you?" She joined Chloe on the bench.
"Brady. telling me he loves me. It scared me."
"But I thought that you loved him, that you were in love with him."
"I am." Chloe didn't hesitate. "But what if I can't love him like he deserves to be loved? What he said to me in front of that elevator was very real. I just don't want to hurt him, Belle."
"Chloe, you not returning his calls, you not going to see him: that hurts him."
"I know."
"Then why." Belle was at a loss as she waited for her friend to explain.
Chloe felt the first few tears course down her cheeks. "You don't know what it was like. seeing my ring slip off of my fingers and just disappear down that drain. Nothing I did could bring it back to me." She wiped her face with trembling hands. "It felt like a sign."
"It was an accident, Chloe. Brady will understand that."
"Well I can't understand that."
Belle wasn't buying this. Chloe's fear had nothing to do with a damned ring. "What's really going on here?"
It was silent for a while before Chloe spoke. "I just don't want see my happiness disappear like my ring," she stared unseeingly ahead.
"First of all, you haven't even given yourself a chance to be happy, Chloe. Secondly, you have to understand that loving someone is taking a risk. It's putting yourself out there; knowing that your happiness may not last but savoring it while it does. If you just do that. If you just. give yourself to the right person, you'll never regret that, Chloe, no matter what."
"I just love him, Belle. I love him so much." She clung to her friend.
Belle wanted to laugh, as she rubbed Chloe's back reassuringly. "Stop crying. What are you crying for? This is supposed to be happy, Chloe. Only you and Brady could make getting together about as difficult as trying to ice skate on a beach."
Chloe chuckled and pulled away. "You're right about that."
"Just glad to see you smiling again."
"Thanks." She nodded. "This insanity has gone on long enough. I think I'm going to give Brady a call."
"You won't have to." Belle grinned.
"Why's that?"
"Because he's headed this way. I kinda called him. Bye, Chlo," she kissed her friend on the cheek and met her brother, giving him a hug before running off in the opposite direction.
Brady quietly joined Chloe on the bench, uncomfortable with her eyes boring into him. He just wanted to make a clean break. The sooner he knew she wasn't interested at all, the sooner he could get over her. "Hi," he greeted her not making eye contact.
"Hi. Brady." She wanted to cry. He couldn't even look at her. "How was work?"
"I uhh. took the day off, hence the jeans," he gestured to his blue jeans and gave her an uneasy smile. He finally looked at her.
"Oh, of course. Of course," she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.
"Why have you been avoiding me?"
Chloe almost broke down crying right then and there; his voice sounded so small, so defeated. "Brady, I."
"Wait, wait. Don't answer that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for freaking you out in front of the elevators on Monday," he dried his sweaty palms nervously on his thighs.
"No-"
"No, Chloe, no. It wasn't fair of me to do that, to say that. Damn it, I was just so incredibly happy to see you and I couldn't keep it in anymore. I never would have said it if I thought it was going to make you so uncomfortable." He paused thoughtfully. "Or maybe I would have said it anyway, I wanted to say it so badly." Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair.
"But Brady-"
"Please Chloe, let me finish." He looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Okay."
"I want you to know that our friendship means so much to me, Chloe. Getting to know you the past few months was incredible. To think that I somehow messed that up, I. let me make it up to you."
"Brady, you don't have to do that. Brady, I." she saw that he was staring at her ringless hand.
Brady swallowed. Some part of him had hoped Chloe would have wanted to wear the ring. G-d, he should have known she wouldn't be wearing it. She hadn't spoken to him in days. What else should he have expected? But it still hurt.
"Brady," she spoke firmly, hoping to sway his attention away from the missing ring and only to the sound of her voice, the look in her eyes, hoping that right now it was enough for Brady to realize how much she loved him. "Would you like to go with me to Belle and Shawn's anniversary party Sunday night?"
"What?" He wasn't sure he heard her right. He was expecting her to say she never wanted to see him again, not ask him out. Enigma only began to describe Chloe.
"Would you like to go with me to Belle and Shawn's anniversary party," she asked again, a smile playing upon her lips.
Where the hell had that come from? "Sure," he managed a weak smile in a very awkward situation. 'A pity date. Greeeeeaat,' he thought to himself.
"Good," she grinned. Telling Brady she loved him would have to wait because right now, it was just too awkward, too weird, not romantic enough for Chloe's taste. She was going to make it special for him. So she decided to surprise him. He deserved nothing less. But it would take some definite planning and therefore, [i]a lot[/i] of time.
"Look, Chloe, I have to run. Um. Good to see you. Pick you up at eight," he stared at her intently, wondering if he read her eyes correctly. Did he see love? Passion? Sheer happiness shining in her eyes directed at him? Or was it wishful thinking? Confused, Brady uneasily returned her grin and backed away slowly, before fully turning around and heading in the direction of his Jeep. "Gotta be wishful thinking."
'Oh, Brady,' Chloe thought, as she watched him walk away. 'You are just too perfect for your own good.' Smiling, she jumped off of the bench with renewed energy. She was finally ready to stop running from happiness, and run to it instead.
That evening.
Chloe burst through the door of her apartment, sprinting for the answering machine. It was blinking! She had messages. "Breathe, Chloe, breathe," she couldn't help the jovial giggles erupting from her throat. She pressed the "play" button, holding her breath.
"You have one message. Message One." Chloe groaned as Nancy's voice came through the speaker.
Feeling that ball of energy burning in her tummy cool, she decided to just take a nice, warm shower and reflect on the day some more. Brady had confessed his love for her. He loved her. She hardly believed it. In fact, she almost convinced herself it was all a wonderful dream. "But it wasn't a dream," Chloe murmured to herself. "It's real." She looked to her left hand and the ring shining back at her, the ring Brady had slipped into her purse earlier today. "This is real." She couldn't stop smiling. Is this what it felt like to be in love? To love someone, really love them, and know they loved you in return? She was sure she never wanted this feeling to end. Looking at her reflection in her bathroom mirror, she boldly began a little mini striptease, shaking her shoulders, the whole bit, slowly shedding her clothing, imagining she was doing this for Brady. Knowing him, he'd probably be laughing hysterically at her by now. "Oh, Brady," she murmured, stepping into the warm cascade of water, tumbling from the showerhead. "I love you Brady. I love you," she whispered to no one. "But what happens now? Do I call you? Do I wait for you to call?" Letting the water, soak her hair and body, she thought of Brady and this passed week of missing him, longing for him and seeing him here, in Salem, this morning.
[i] "Yeah." Brady blew out a breath. "I mean, granted, I want to fall in love again, but."
"But you don't believe in love," Chloe finished for him.
"That's not entirely true," he smiled sheepishly, blushing slightly. "I just don't think I'll ever find it.[/i]
She began to lather her thick hair, pulling out a few tangles by running her fingers through it.
[i] "You believe in soulmates?"
"I know," he held up his hands in mock surrender. "Surprise, surprise. Contrary to popular belief, I'm really all mushy and warm and fuzzy inside. It's disgusting." He laughed.
"You're a great guy, Brady," Chloe looked at him seriously. "And you'll find love and it'll be even better than it was before. You'll see."[/i]
She couldn't stop smiling as she lathered the bar of soap between her hands.
[i]"I love you, Chloe."
"What," she said quickly, feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of her.
"I love you." He released his finger on the button. "I'm in love with you."[/i]
She nearly squealed with happiness but the feel of her ring slipping off of her finger and clanking onto the bathtub floor had her breath hitching in her throat. "No," she rasped. Kneeling down, she tried to see through the falling water and feel her way around for the ring. "Ahhh," she shouted as the shampoo formerly sudsing her hair, ran down her face and into her eyes. "No. my ring," she cried, not seeing it or feeling it anywhere under her searching fingers. She quickly shut off the water, ignoring the shampoo stinging her eyes. "No," she felt hot tears mix with the shampoo. "Oh G- d," she cried. Her ring was gone, down the drain, lost. Was this some kind of sign? She felt herself begin to hyperventilate.
And hour and twenty minutes later, after having dug through the shower drain with a metal hanger she'd straightened out, Chloe was curled up on her couch, in gray sweats and in choking tears. Her ring was long gone. She blew her very raw, very red nose and buried her face in a couch cushion. The sound of her phone ringing brought her out of her despondent state. Chloe's body almost wracked with sobs when she let the machine pick it up and Brady's voice floated over to her guilty ears.
"Chloe?. Hey Chloe. It's me Brady. If you're there, pick up." He breathed heavily into the phone. "Well, I was just at work.thinking about you. thinking about today. I meant what I said. I love you, Chloe." He chuckled. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying it. I hope you don't ever get tired of hearing it. Of course, if you only want friendship right now, I can handle that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Just." he sighed. "I hope you're not mad that I slipped your ring back in your purse, but I want you to have it. It represents so much to me. Ahhh. I'm rambling and well, I feel kind of foolish saying all of this to a phone. I'd rather be talking to your face. Besides I think my father is listening outside the door," he laughed again. "So uhh. if you want. to talk. ummm. call me later, okay?" He put down the phone with a soft click.
Chloe sobbed into the cushion, the sobs shaking her body with a force that physically pained her heart. She felt so guilty. Ugh. What was she going to tell Brady?
**************************
Brady put down the phone and leaned back in his chair at his desk. Chloe wasn't there. Maybe he would give her a call again later. "Don't smother her, Brady," he muttered to himself. "You just told her you loved her today. Give her some time to process that."
"Brady?" John stuck his head in the door.
"Dad, I was just leaving." He stood and met his father at the door.
"Yeah kid, you been here all day." He walked with his son to the elevators. "So you called Chloe, huh?"
"Yeeessss," Brady rolled his eyes and smiled. He told his father what happened earlier and apparently, his father told everyone he knew because suddenly Brady was bombarded with congratulatory calls from Belle, Shawn, Mimi, Marlena and strangely enough, Maggie.
"Well?"
"Well what, Dad?"
"Don't well 'what me,' son. What happened?"
"She wasn't there."
"You going to call her later?"
"Maybe."
"Maybe!?"
"Dad, I don't even know why I'm discussing this with you. This is none of your business," he ran a hand through his hair.
"You think so huh? Well, Chloe wouldn't have even come by if I hadn't. I mean. uh.." he trailed off.
"Oh no you don't," Brady's face scrunched. "What did you do, Dad?"
"Nothing," John scoffed.
"It all makes sense now. 'Hey son,'" Brady mocked his father. "'Get me that Pinchapenny report a.s.a.p. I have a delivery I want to be here for.'"
"Do you hate me?" John gave him a sheepish smile.
"No Dad," he gave him a small smile. "I don't hate you. Truth is, if you hadn't interfered, I never would have gotten the nerve to see Chloe on my own, much less tell her I'm in love with her."
"Ehh. you would have gotten around to it eventually."
"Yeah well. thanks for the push," he nudged his father's shoulder.
"Thank your sister. She put me up to it."
Brady groaned. John laughed.
*************************
Two Days Later. Lunch Time. Salem Place.
"Oh G-d Belle, I can't find it anywhere," Chloe whined. The passed two days had consisted of ignoring all of Brady's phone calls and looking for an exact copy of the ring she lost down the drain. She was a woman possessed, on a mission. She had gone to every freaking jewelry store in Salem twice and was completely. unsuccessful.
Belle groaned. It was as if Chloe was obsessed with finding this ring. She'd even made her promise not to tell Brady what was going on. She'd had to lie to her own brother. Telling him, Chloe hadn't spoken to her for a few days and that she had a lot of things going on at work. Consequently, Brady's confidence was shot. He wasn't stupid. He was being rejected, or so he thought. So, Belle was ready to tell Brady everything. Chloe was being so damn silly. "Chloe, for G-d sakes, Brady will understand that you lost the ring."
"I know it," she sighed. Deep down she knew Brady wouldn't care if she lost some silly object. What they had represented more than that. That's what scared Chloe so much. If she could lose her ring that easily, so carelessly.
Belle was shocked Chloe had agreed so easily. "Well then why-"
"It scared me, Belle," she said simply, plopping on a bench.
"I'm confused," Belle replied, shaking her head. "What scared you?" She joined Chloe on the bench.
"Brady. telling me he loves me. It scared me."
"But I thought that you loved him, that you were in love with him."
"I am." Chloe didn't hesitate. "But what if I can't love him like he deserves to be loved? What he said to me in front of that elevator was very real. I just don't want to hurt him, Belle."
"Chloe, you not returning his calls, you not going to see him: that hurts him."
"I know."
"Then why." Belle was at a loss as she waited for her friend to explain.
Chloe felt the first few tears course down her cheeks. "You don't know what it was like. seeing my ring slip off of my fingers and just disappear down that drain. Nothing I did could bring it back to me." She wiped her face with trembling hands. "It felt like a sign."
"It was an accident, Chloe. Brady will understand that."
"Well I can't understand that."
Belle wasn't buying this. Chloe's fear had nothing to do with a damned ring. "What's really going on here?"
It was silent for a while before Chloe spoke. "I just don't want see my happiness disappear like my ring," she stared unseeingly ahead.
"First of all, you haven't even given yourself a chance to be happy, Chloe. Secondly, you have to understand that loving someone is taking a risk. It's putting yourself out there; knowing that your happiness may not last but savoring it while it does. If you just do that. If you just. give yourself to the right person, you'll never regret that, Chloe, no matter what."
"I just love him, Belle. I love him so much." She clung to her friend.
Belle wanted to laugh, as she rubbed Chloe's back reassuringly. "Stop crying. What are you crying for? This is supposed to be happy, Chloe. Only you and Brady could make getting together about as difficult as trying to ice skate on a beach."
Chloe chuckled and pulled away. "You're right about that."
"Just glad to see you smiling again."
"Thanks." She nodded. "This insanity has gone on long enough. I think I'm going to give Brady a call."
"You won't have to." Belle grinned.
"Why's that?"
"Because he's headed this way. I kinda called him. Bye, Chlo," she kissed her friend on the cheek and met her brother, giving him a hug before running off in the opposite direction.
Brady quietly joined Chloe on the bench, uncomfortable with her eyes boring into him. He just wanted to make a clean break. The sooner he knew she wasn't interested at all, the sooner he could get over her. "Hi," he greeted her not making eye contact.
"Hi. Brady." She wanted to cry. He couldn't even look at her. "How was work?"
"I uhh. took the day off, hence the jeans," he gestured to his blue jeans and gave her an uneasy smile. He finally looked at her.
"Oh, of course. Of course," she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.
"Why have you been avoiding me?"
Chloe almost broke down crying right then and there; his voice sounded so small, so defeated. "Brady, I."
"Wait, wait. Don't answer that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for freaking you out in front of the elevators on Monday," he dried his sweaty palms nervously on his thighs.
"No-"
"No, Chloe, no. It wasn't fair of me to do that, to say that. Damn it, I was just so incredibly happy to see you and I couldn't keep it in anymore. I never would have said it if I thought it was going to make you so uncomfortable." He paused thoughtfully. "Or maybe I would have said it anyway, I wanted to say it so badly." Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair.
"But Brady-"
"Please Chloe, let me finish." He looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Okay."
"I want you to know that our friendship means so much to me, Chloe. Getting to know you the past few months was incredible. To think that I somehow messed that up, I. let me make it up to you."
"Brady, you don't have to do that. Brady, I." she saw that he was staring at her ringless hand.
Brady swallowed. Some part of him had hoped Chloe would have wanted to wear the ring. G-d, he should have known she wouldn't be wearing it. She hadn't spoken to him in days. What else should he have expected? But it still hurt.
"Brady," she spoke firmly, hoping to sway his attention away from the missing ring and only to the sound of her voice, the look in her eyes, hoping that right now it was enough for Brady to realize how much she loved him. "Would you like to go with me to Belle and Shawn's anniversary party Sunday night?"
"What?" He wasn't sure he heard her right. He was expecting her to say she never wanted to see him again, not ask him out. Enigma only began to describe Chloe.
"Would you like to go with me to Belle and Shawn's anniversary party," she asked again, a smile playing upon her lips.
Where the hell had that come from? "Sure," he managed a weak smile in a very awkward situation. 'A pity date. Greeeeeaat,' he thought to himself.
"Good," she grinned. Telling Brady she loved him would have to wait because right now, it was just too awkward, too weird, not romantic enough for Chloe's taste. She was going to make it special for him. So she decided to surprise him. He deserved nothing less. But it would take some definite planning and therefore, [i]a lot[/i] of time.
"Look, Chloe, I have to run. Um. Good to see you. Pick you up at eight," he stared at her intently, wondering if he read her eyes correctly. Did he see love? Passion? Sheer happiness shining in her eyes directed at him? Or was it wishful thinking? Confused, Brady uneasily returned her grin and backed away slowly, before fully turning around and heading in the direction of his Jeep. "Gotta be wishful thinking."
'Oh, Brady,' Chloe thought, as she watched him walk away. 'You are just too perfect for your own good.' Smiling, she jumped off of the bench with renewed energy. She was finally ready to stop running from happiness, and run to it instead.