Title: Lost Love
Status: Complete short story
Spoilers: None
Rating: R Mostly for angst.
Pairing: Tyr/?
Disclaimer: I don't own Andromeda or her crew. I am not paid for my
fiction. I write because I enjoy it and I hope that others gain some
enjoyment from my scribblings.
Summary: This is dark, sorry but I am in a dark mood just now. Be aware that there is a character death.
Do they know what it's like? I don't think they have any idea. Those well wishing acquaintances that visit once with their easy words of condolence, then never appear again.
They have never lost their lover, their best friend. I grieve for him every waking minute and he is in my dreams every sleeping hour. I have decided that I will never perform a sexual act with anyone else. I will never again know the intimacy that comes with the uninhibited sharing of bodies. I shall be celibate for the rest of my life.
The members of the old crew visit. They understand better than anyone does what I've lost. But, still they don't really understand. They tell me that I'm still young, that there is plenty of time. Oh I know how much time there is until I can join him. I considered suicide on more than one occasion. I knew exactly what he would have thought of me if I'd taken the easy way out.
I can hear his beloved voice admonishing me, calling me a coward, and telling me to get on with my life. That voice, I loved his voice so much. I miss the little pet names he had for me.
He would be the last person to stand in my way if I wanted to take another mate. He always said that if anything happened to me he would take someone else to his bed. I understood that, he had my blessing. It wasn't in his nature to mourn for what was lost.
We were from such different cultures; it was difficult for me at first to realise that he would never be truly monogamous. We fought as much as we loved in those first years together. It was a very long while before he said that he loved me. He told me later that he'd been scared to say the words, that he'd been thinking them for ages before he could voice them.
I'm sitting on the balcony of our apartment. In the last days of his life he used to sit here and watch the sun going down. I saw tears running down his face once. I didn't let him know that I'd seen him. The strongest man I'd ever known crying at his own weakness, his impending demise.
I'd never known that there were diseases that could ravage the perfect bodies of his people. The one that he'd contracted attacked his immune system. There's an ironic little twist if ever I saw one. His beautiful body grew wasted and weak. He needed me more than ever. I helped him with everything. I had no qualms about performing the most intimate tasks for him.
The sun is just about to set. I have a little ritual that I perform every night at this time. I light a scented candle and pour a glass of wine and toast my lost love. My first love, my last love, my only love.
Summary: This is dark, sorry but I am in a dark mood just now. Be aware that there is a character death.
Do they know what it's like? I don't think they have any idea. Those well wishing acquaintances that visit once with their easy words of condolence, then never appear again.
They have never lost their lover, their best friend. I grieve for him every waking minute and he is in my dreams every sleeping hour. I have decided that I will never perform a sexual act with anyone else. I will never again know the intimacy that comes with the uninhibited sharing of bodies. I shall be celibate for the rest of my life.
The members of the old crew visit. They understand better than anyone does what I've lost. But, still they don't really understand. They tell me that I'm still young, that there is plenty of time. Oh I know how much time there is until I can join him. I considered suicide on more than one occasion. I knew exactly what he would have thought of me if I'd taken the easy way out.
I can hear his beloved voice admonishing me, calling me a coward, and telling me to get on with my life. That voice, I loved his voice so much. I miss the little pet names he had for me.
He would be the last person to stand in my way if I wanted to take another mate. He always said that if anything happened to me he would take someone else to his bed. I understood that, he had my blessing. It wasn't in his nature to mourn for what was lost.
We were from such different cultures; it was difficult for me at first to realise that he would never be truly monogamous. We fought as much as we loved in those first years together. It was a very long while before he said that he loved me. He told me later that he'd been scared to say the words, that he'd been thinking them for ages before he could voice them.
I'm sitting on the balcony of our apartment. In the last days of his life he used to sit here and watch the sun going down. I saw tears running down his face once. I didn't let him know that I'd seen him. The strongest man I'd ever known crying at his own weakness, his impending demise.
I'd never known that there were diseases that could ravage the perfect bodies of his people. The one that he'd contracted attacked his immune system. There's an ironic little twist if ever I saw one. His beautiful body grew wasted and weak. He needed me more than ever. I helped him with everything. I had no qualms about performing the most intimate tasks for him.
The sun is just about to set. I have a little ritual that I perform every night at this time. I light a scented candle and pour a glass of wine and toast my lost love. My first love, my last love, my only love.