Mewtwo: Hello. Have you been feeling down? Like you don't know where your life is going?
James: *dramatically* How did you know?!
Mewtwo: I know everything. Which is why you should call Mewtwo's Psychic Hotline. We'll tell you your destiny in half-truths that you'll later convince yourself were useful predictions and not a waste of 15 bucks a minute.
Misty: Mewtwo told me that I would have to choose between two decisions. I realize now that he was talking about Brock and Ash.
Ash: Mewtwo told me that I would meet a strange challenge. Boy, was he right!
Mewtwo: So call today, and spend hours trying to puzzle out your destiny!
1-800-TRY-NOT-2
James: *even more dramatically* How DOES he DO it?!
********************
*a red-haired girl in jeans and a t-shirt with "Jessie" emblazoned across the chest comes out. Needless to say, it's Jessie in a very unconvincing...er...'disguise' *
Jessie: Hello, everyone. I just wanted to say support me in my hostile takeover of the universe, one beating of a man at a time. Jessie for empress. Yay.
*walks off*
James: I support her!
Meowth: That's because she paid you, dude.
James: Actually, no she didn't...She...
Meowth: PLEASE don't tell me...I heard last night through the soundproof walls...
*Little square in corner that says "TVG" goes up to "TVR"
*fade out*
eyecatch
Meowth-chan: Konyanyachiwa!! {author's note: kawaii way 2 say it!} Have you been brushing your teeth? Good! If you haven't your parents might not let you keep watching the hit new show, Meowth-chan's Newlywed Game! We're back with out three couples! Now it's time for the wives to answer the questions. Our first question is, "What is the strangest place you have ever--" *turns red* Who worded this?
*Brock waves*
Meowth-chan: ~_~;; "What is the strangest place you have ever *mumbles*
James: I didn't even know that was a term for it...
Jessie: I did.
All: ^_^;;
Meowth-chan: o_o; Husband number one, what do you think wife number one put?
James: *thinks* In the National Park?
Meowth-chan: *twists his face into a look of discust* Now that that image is in our heads, what did wife number one put?
*Jessie holds up a sign that says, "In the freezer at the PokeCenter." Everyone who had frozen food in the previous month starts gagging*
Jessie: I thought we weren't going to tell anyone about the Park, James...
James: We weren't going to tell anyone about the freezer thing either.
Jessie: Oops... but at least neither of us mentioned the--
*James claps a hand over her mouth. Jessie bites him*
James: Ow! Don't do that!
Jessie: You started it...
James: I want you to touch me gently...
Jessie: Later, when we're alone.
*rose petals blow across the stage*
All: o_O;;
Meowth-chan: Moving onto couple number two... as quickly as possible...
Ash: Uhhh.....
Meowth-chan: What?
*Misty holds up a sign that simply says, "Uh...."*
Meowth-chan: Judges, will we accept that answer?
*Miyamato and James's mom confer. Prof. Oak's covering his ears*
Judges: Yep.
Meowth-chan: Err... of course not. Let's put that aside. Couple number three, dare I ask?
Mrs. Ketchum: *slightly red* We NEVER [censored]!!!
Brock: Wow, even I didn't know that was a term for it.
Jessie: I did.
All: o_o;
*Giovanni holds up his "She'll deny our many nights of passion..." sign*
Gio: And this time, I'm not lying!! Otherwise, how'd Ash be here??
*Ash turns green*
Misty: Giovanni, you're really good! I bet you make your wife very happy!
Mrs. Ketchun: I'm not his wife!!
Meowth-chan: ~_~;; {author's note: he's making this face a lot. It must hurt his mug. lol.} Let's move on to the next question, shall we? This one's multiple choice, so we don't have to worry about inappropriate answers. "How would you describe your honeymoon: Relaxing, Exciting, or Boring?"
Audience: OoOoOoOoOo...
Meowth-chan: Couple number one, start us off.
Jessie: Relaxing.
*James's sign: "Relaxing. Very"*
Meowth-chan: *breaths a sigh of relief* Thanks for not explai--
Jessie: With the hot tub...And the bed...
Meowth-chan: Too much information!
James: But the roses...You must remember they have thorns!
Meowth-chan: *attempts to cover ears* Yecch!
*James and Jessie shrug*
Mewoth-chan: Next! Next!
Misty: Exciting.
*Ash holds up a sign with "Exciting" written in big letters*
Meowth-chan: Moving on before you try and explain your answer...
Misty&Ash: *blush* It's not like THAT!
Meowth-chan: Couple number three! Please end this question!
Mrs. Ketchum: We had no honeymoon because WE'RE NOT MARRIED!!!! anymore, and I wouldn't like to discuss cheating on Sammy...
Giovanni holds up his sign, which says, "She'll deny the very existence of our honeymoon, including the nights of endless pleasure we spent-" and brakes off where he ran out of room to write*
*Ash & his mom turn bright green and rush for the bathrooms. After having lost their lunches, they return and sit back down*
Misty: Mom (can I call you that), why didn't you take that opportunity to escape?
Mrs. Ketchum: O_O! (--- didn't think of it...) ...yes you can call me mommy.
*Giovanni, by this time, has re-tied her*
Mrs. Ketchum: :/
Giovanni: There, there, muffin. They know you just don't want to leave my side.
Misty: Yeah, that'd be a good reason.
Mrs. Ketchum: But... but...
Gio: Why else would I risk untying her so she could deal with her morning sickness?
Mrs. Ketchum: Wha...?
Misty: *claps hands* She will make a wonderful mother! And, you, Ash, a brother; and me... AN OLDER SISTER!!!!! HOORAY!!!
Ash: A BROTHER!!! *scream*
Mrs. Ketchum: I'M NOT PREGNANT!!
Giovanni: If it's a girl we'll name her Giovanna or Ashley.
Mrs. Ketchum: !!!!! *passes out*
Giovanni: *pats her hand* There, there, love. *to others* She must be feeling bad. Please, feel free to move onto the next question.
Meowth: Thanks... Going into the bonus round, couple three is in the lead, followed by couple two and couple one. The bonus question is worth five points, so any of our contestants could win. The bonus question is: "If your husband had to sum up your sex drive in one word, it would be [blank]" Oh, I can't WAIT to hear these answers. *wince*
Jessie: Slow.
Meowth-chan: You expect me to believe that after what I've heard today?
Jessie: Well, compared to his...*Meowth holds up hand....paws...and makes a face*
*James holds up a sign that says, "Well, it is kind of slow...",
Meowth-chan: Couple number one is now in the lead with 9 points, though that doesn't mean anything, in the least, since no one else has answered the bonus question. Couple number two, your move.
Misty: Creative!
*Ash holds up his sign: "Kinky"*
Meowth-chan: Judges?
*brief yet amusing judge conference, which includes James's mum jumping on the table and demanding justice; "how dareah you! this is may desicion!!"*
Meowth-chan: Have you decided?
Miyamato: We'll accept it.
Prof. Oak: *opens mouth* ... *cowers under James's mum's glare*
Meowth-chan: Okay! Couple number two is now in first place! Couple number three, final question, final answer. How would your husband sum up your sex drive?
Mrs. Ketchum: Non-existent.
*Giovanni holds up his sign: "Since she's embarrassed about the fact that she likes to [censored] like Pikachu...*
Brock: Oooh, more new vocabulary! *writes down*
*"...she'll pretend that she's as innocent as a schoolgirl"*
Brock: Giselle wasn't all that innocent... -_~
Ash: *pouts* DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT! *light bulb* How about PROFFESSORS?
Brock: Don't say it!! -.-;;;
James: What, Proffesor Ivy?
Brock: AAAAAAAAAHHH! *turns back 2 Jim when done screaming* Jessiebelle....
James: *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!*
Brock: heheheh *smirk* -__~
Meowth-chan: ANYWAY, then, I guess couple number three wins. Congratulations, lady, you're going to a fabulous second honeymoon in the Ruins of Alph!
Mrs. Ketchum: But Prof. Oak is taking me there anyway to study! How is that a vacation?
Announcer (Brock): You've won an all-expense paid trip to the beauuutiful Ruins of Alph, where you'll enjoy--
Mrs. Ketchum: ENJOY?! Who says?!
Brock: The announcement.
Mrs. Ketchum: Why should I believe it?
Brock: Because it was written by Mewtwo.
Giovanni: Come on, dear. The vacation will relieve stress, and we all know there shouldn't be stress on the new baby...
Mrs. Ketchum: *turns red*
*Giovanni drags her offstage to go catch their plane. Jessie and James are sucking face. Brock throws a blanket over them. Ash is dancing with Pikachu...Misty is running after them with a mallet*
Meowth-chan: Well, it seems we ended a little early. But that's okay, because--
Cassidy: I'll be singing for you! Everyone agrees that I have the best singing voice! *grumbles* better than Jessie's, that--
Meowth-chan: I'm don't think--
Cassidy: *sings* ~Ooohhh......I'm a genie in a bottle...........~
Meowth-chan: Just roll next week's previews.
~~Next time on Meowth-chan's Newlywed Game~~
Meowth-chan: "If you didn't exist and your wife had to choose one of these people to marry, who would they choose?"
*Gary and Domino walk out*
Mondo: *looks nauseated* I think he'd choose Cassidy...
Brock: *acting high/drunk/both* HE'LL NEVER GET HER!! NEVA!!!!!!!
~~end clip~~
Cassidy: ~Gotta rub mee the right way!!~
Meowth-chan: See you next time, everyone! Bai bai!
Cassidy: ~There's a priiiice to pay!!!...~
*fade out*
James: *dramatically* How did you know?!
Mewtwo: I know everything. Which is why you should call Mewtwo's Psychic Hotline. We'll tell you your destiny in half-truths that you'll later convince yourself were useful predictions and not a waste of 15 bucks a minute.
Misty: Mewtwo told me that I would have to choose between two decisions. I realize now that he was talking about Brock and Ash.
Ash: Mewtwo told me that I would meet a strange challenge. Boy, was he right!
Mewtwo: So call today, and spend hours trying to puzzle out your destiny!
1-800-TRY-NOT-2
James: *even more dramatically* How DOES he DO it?!
********************
*a red-haired girl in jeans and a t-shirt with "Jessie" emblazoned across the chest comes out. Needless to say, it's Jessie in a very unconvincing...er...'disguise' *
Jessie: Hello, everyone. I just wanted to say support me in my hostile takeover of the universe, one beating of a man at a time. Jessie for empress. Yay.
*walks off*
James: I support her!
Meowth: That's because she paid you, dude.
James: Actually, no she didn't...She...
Meowth: PLEASE don't tell me...I heard last night through the soundproof walls...
*Little square in corner that says "TVG" goes up to "TVR"
*fade out*
eyecatch
Meowth-chan: Konyanyachiwa!! {author's note: kawaii way 2 say it!} Have you been brushing your teeth? Good! If you haven't your parents might not let you keep watching the hit new show, Meowth-chan's Newlywed Game! We're back with out three couples! Now it's time for the wives to answer the questions. Our first question is, "What is the strangest place you have ever--" *turns red* Who worded this?
*Brock waves*
Meowth-chan: ~_~;; "What is the strangest place you have ever *mumbles*
James: I didn't even know that was a term for it...
Jessie: I did.
All: ^_^;;
Meowth-chan: o_o; Husband number one, what do you think wife number one put?
James: *thinks* In the National Park?
Meowth-chan: *twists his face into a look of discust* Now that that image is in our heads, what did wife number one put?
*Jessie holds up a sign that says, "In the freezer at the PokeCenter." Everyone who had frozen food in the previous month starts gagging*
Jessie: I thought we weren't going to tell anyone about the Park, James...
James: We weren't going to tell anyone about the freezer thing either.
Jessie: Oops... but at least neither of us mentioned the--
*James claps a hand over her mouth. Jessie bites him*
James: Ow! Don't do that!
Jessie: You started it...
James: I want you to touch me gently...
Jessie: Later, when we're alone.
*rose petals blow across the stage*
All: o_O;;
Meowth-chan: Moving onto couple number two... as quickly as possible...
Ash: Uhhh.....
Meowth-chan: What?
*Misty holds up a sign that simply says, "Uh...."*
Meowth-chan: Judges, will we accept that answer?
*Miyamato and James's mom confer. Prof. Oak's covering his ears*
Judges: Yep.
Meowth-chan: Err... of course not. Let's put that aside. Couple number three, dare I ask?
Mrs. Ketchum: *slightly red* We NEVER [censored]!!!
Brock: Wow, even I didn't know that was a term for it.
Jessie: I did.
All: o_o;
*Giovanni holds up his "She'll deny our many nights of passion..." sign*
Gio: And this time, I'm not lying!! Otherwise, how'd Ash be here??
*Ash turns green*
Misty: Giovanni, you're really good! I bet you make your wife very happy!
Mrs. Ketchun: I'm not his wife!!
Meowth-chan: ~_~;; {author's note: he's making this face a lot. It must hurt his mug. lol.} Let's move on to the next question, shall we? This one's multiple choice, so we don't have to worry about inappropriate answers. "How would you describe your honeymoon: Relaxing, Exciting, or Boring?"
Audience: OoOoOoOoOo...
Meowth-chan: Couple number one, start us off.
Jessie: Relaxing.
*James's sign: "Relaxing. Very"*
Meowth-chan: *breaths a sigh of relief* Thanks for not explai--
Jessie: With the hot tub...And the bed...
Meowth-chan: Too much information!
James: But the roses...You must remember they have thorns!
Meowth-chan: *attempts to cover ears* Yecch!
*James and Jessie shrug*
Mewoth-chan: Next! Next!
Misty: Exciting.
*Ash holds up a sign with "Exciting" written in big letters*
Meowth-chan: Moving on before you try and explain your answer...
Misty&Ash: *blush* It's not like THAT!
Meowth-chan: Couple number three! Please end this question!
Mrs. Ketchum: We had no honeymoon because WE'RE NOT MARRIED!!!! anymore, and I wouldn't like to discuss cheating on Sammy...
Giovanni holds up his sign, which says, "She'll deny the very existence of our honeymoon, including the nights of endless pleasure we spent-" and brakes off where he ran out of room to write*
*Ash & his mom turn bright green and rush for the bathrooms. After having lost their lunches, they return and sit back down*
Misty: Mom (can I call you that), why didn't you take that opportunity to escape?
Mrs. Ketchum: O_O! (--- didn't think of it...) ...yes you can call me mommy.
*Giovanni, by this time, has re-tied her*
Mrs. Ketchum: :/
Giovanni: There, there, muffin. They know you just don't want to leave my side.
Misty: Yeah, that'd be a good reason.
Mrs. Ketchum: But... but...
Gio: Why else would I risk untying her so she could deal with her morning sickness?
Mrs. Ketchum: Wha...?
Misty: *claps hands* She will make a wonderful mother! And, you, Ash, a brother; and me... AN OLDER SISTER!!!!! HOORAY!!!
Ash: A BROTHER!!! *scream*
Mrs. Ketchum: I'M NOT PREGNANT!!
Giovanni: If it's a girl we'll name her Giovanna or Ashley.
Mrs. Ketchum: !!!!! *passes out*
Giovanni: *pats her hand* There, there, love. *to others* She must be feeling bad. Please, feel free to move onto the next question.
Meowth: Thanks... Going into the bonus round, couple three is in the lead, followed by couple two and couple one. The bonus question is worth five points, so any of our contestants could win. The bonus question is: "If your husband had to sum up your sex drive in one word, it would be [blank]" Oh, I can't WAIT to hear these answers. *wince*
Jessie: Slow.
Meowth-chan: You expect me to believe that after what I've heard today?
Jessie: Well, compared to his...*Meowth holds up hand....paws...and makes a face*
*James holds up a sign that says, "Well, it is kind of slow...",
Meowth-chan: Couple number one is now in the lead with 9 points, though that doesn't mean anything, in the least, since no one else has answered the bonus question. Couple number two, your move.
Misty: Creative!
*Ash holds up his sign: "Kinky"*
Meowth-chan: Judges?
*brief yet amusing judge conference, which includes James's mum jumping on the table and demanding justice; "how dareah you! this is may desicion!!"*
Meowth-chan: Have you decided?
Miyamato: We'll accept it.
Prof. Oak: *opens mouth* ... *cowers under James's mum's glare*
Meowth-chan: Okay! Couple number two is now in first place! Couple number three, final question, final answer. How would your husband sum up your sex drive?
Mrs. Ketchum: Non-existent.
*Giovanni holds up his sign: "Since she's embarrassed about the fact that she likes to [censored] like Pikachu...*
Brock: Oooh, more new vocabulary! *writes down*
*"...she'll pretend that she's as innocent as a schoolgirl"*
Brock: Giselle wasn't all that innocent... -_~
Ash: *pouts* DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT! *light bulb* How about PROFFESSORS?
Brock: Don't say it!! -.-;;;
James: What, Proffesor Ivy?
Brock: AAAAAAAAAHHH! *turns back 2 Jim when done screaming* Jessiebelle....
James: *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!*
Brock: heheheh *smirk* -__~
Meowth-chan: ANYWAY, then, I guess couple number three wins. Congratulations, lady, you're going to a fabulous second honeymoon in the Ruins of Alph!
Mrs. Ketchum: But Prof. Oak is taking me there anyway to study! How is that a vacation?
Announcer (Brock): You've won an all-expense paid trip to the beauuutiful Ruins of Alph, where you'll enjoy--
Mrs. Ketchum: ENJOY?! Who says?!
Brock: The announcement.
Mrs. Ketchum: Why should I believe it?
Brock: Because it was written by Mewtwo.
Giovanni: Come on, dear. The vacation will relieve stress, and we all know there shouldn't be stress on the new baby...
Mrs. Ketchum: *turns red*
*Giovanni drags her offstage to go catch their plane. Jessie and James are sucking face. Brock throws a blanket over them. Ash is dancing with Pikachu...Misty is running after them with a mallet*
Meowth-chan: Well, it seems we ended a little early. But that's okay, because--
Cassidy: I'll be singing for you! Everyone agrees that I have the best singing voice! *grumbles* better than Jessie's, that--
Meowth-chan: I'm don't think--
Cassidy: *sings* ~Ooohhh......I'm a genie in a bottle...........~
Meowth-chan: Just roll next week's previews.
~~Next time on Meowth-chan's Newlywed Game~~
Meowth-chan: "If you didn't exist and your wife had to choose one of these people to marry, who would they choose?"
*Gary and Domino walk out*
Mondo: *looks nauseated* I think he'd choose Cassidy...
Brock: *acting high/drunk/both* HE'LL NEVER GET HER!! NEVA!!!!!!!
~~end clip~~
Cassidy: ~Gotta rub mee the right way!!~
Meowth-chan: See you next time, everyone! Bai bai!
Cassidy: ~There's a priiiice to pay!!!...~
*fade out*