Ch. 3 A Hearts Torment
That was close he could see that want in her eyes and the memory of himself fading away.
If that 'righteous' son of a bitch and her got together kiss the 10 million gil goodbye, along with all of his dreams.
The satisfaction of seeing the hurt look on Squall's face felt good, but he knew that it came at a price. He felt Rin's angry glare penetrating him he turned to look at her. He didn't like the look she was giving him at all, especially coming from her.
"Don't look at me like that?" he snapped.
You didn't have to tell him at least not like that," she snapped back.
"You have no right to intervene in my relationship with Squall. You weren't there you don't know what I've been through!" His argument was a legitimate one and she knew it.
What happened between Squall and himself still burned him. Regardless the son of a bitch had to right to turn him in his betrayal would forever light a fire in Seifer's soul and nothing that Rin said was going to extinguish that fire.
From within his thoughts he heard Rin shyly say.
"He's my friend."
"He was mine at one time too; trust me being his friend was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made."
He watched as she seemed to be contemplating something. Seifer's eyes wondered over to Victoria who was staring at him tantalizingly through the stage curtain. She was waiting for him not wanting to hold her up a second longer he hurriedly says to Rin.
"Why don't you go home I'll meet you at your apartment later tonight."
"What are you going to do until then?" she asked him.
"I need time to think," he lied.
"Alright," Rin said apprehensively.
He watched as she put away her pad and pencil Seifer kept his eye's on her till she was out the door. Once she was out of sight he didn't waste another moment as he practically ran to the stage.
* * * * *
Squall wandered aimlessly for awhile before returning back to the hotel. He knew that he shouldn't be all that surprised that she was with someone, but Seifer? The thought of Rin in Seifer's arms and.it sickened him.
He knew he had no right to criticize their relationship he hadn't known her very long or for that matter very well, but.damn her, he didn't mean it but he felt it. What did she have that made him feel the way he did?
Another emotion struck Squall other then anger, betrayal and resentment it was fear. Squall knew Rin wasn't his to save, but he knew Seifer and the thought of her with him didn't settle well in his stomach at all. It wasn't just jealousy either.
Squall went back to the hotel where his friends where gathered.
Upon first sight of Squall Irvine joked "Why you home so early I thought I wouldn't be seeing you till tomorrow morning." The smile on Irvine and everyone else's faces faded as they got a better look at Squall's sullen expression.
The next question Irvine asked was only out of concern "What happened Squall?"
He told his friends about what happened at Loires and when he told them about Seifer their reactions were more irate then his.
"What is that son of a bitch doing in Timber!?" Zell asked his hatred almost out of control.
"I thought he be in Deling where all the Rinoa Caraway action his for sure," Selphie whined her voice more shocked then angry, but not by much.
"What is that Rin dong with someone like Seifer?" Quistis asked.
"I don't know, but I won't let myself get upset. As long as she's happy then everything is fine." It was a lie and everyone knew it.
"Squall are you saying that you're alright with this girl being with Seifer?" Quistis asked him incredulously "you do remember Seifer and all that he has done?"
"Of course I do!" he shouted at her. Everyone took a few steps back from him Squall wasn't one for outburst.
"What the hell should I do about it!? Of course I fear what Seifer might do to her," Squall's voice calmed down, but a fierce passion that still remained had his friends hanging off his every word. "I haven't known her very long I have no right to say anything to her."
Everyone remained quiet Squall rarely ever showed rare emotion. His friends where taken back by the emotion that was showing on his face there was so much that the five of them couldn't distinguish exactly what their friend was going through. Only Quistis was able to say something.
"Are you honesty willing to stand back and idly watch her with Seifer?" she asked him.
With a look of despair Squall spoke "Who the hell am I to protest?"
"I won't believe that I'll never believe that." Quistis said lastly before leaving the room.
Squall stood there watching the door shut behind Quistis. He felt encouraging hand fall on his shoulder it belonged to Zell who tried to reason with him.
"Squall, your nineteen years old you're too young to worry about some girl you barely know."
Squall shook his head wishing Zell's words where true. Squall was never easily convinced, but for whatever reason he was about her. Nevertheless, for his friend's sake he pretended to consider Zell's words.
"Maybe," he told him "Maybe."
* * * * *
Rin knew Seifer's hatred towards Squall was only led on by Squall's betrayal. She also knew that she had no right to get involved she'd been contemplating this thought for awhile and to her dismay the outcome in her head was always the same.she shouldn't get involved. Nevertheless, she still had a strong urge to see Squall, if only as a friend.
Where Rin had no right to make any judgment on Squall and Seifer's relationship Seifer had no right to decline her friendship with Squall.
Seifer had many friends besides her as a girlfriend. Rin had only him and Laguna, but the forty some year old hardly counted. When Seifer was out with his friends she was alone. She didn't mind being alone, but whenever she really needed to be around someone Seifer was never there.
It was sad that if Squall had come back a month ago things would have been different. She knew Squall would be gone a lot with his job, but she still defiantly considered a romantic relationship right before he left, but now after Seifer she didn't expect any relationship at all from Squall.
She couldn't blame Seifer. Though, Squall betrayed him and no matter the circumstances that betrayal gave Seifer every right to hold angry feelings towards Squall. At least in Rin's insignificant opinion it did. As Seifer so often pointed out what she thought on matters carried little weight.
Rin wondered what it was that kept her with Seifer. Other then his sentimental and touching moments which came few and far between she couldn't think of anything. He didn't necessarily treat her well either he wasn't awful, but wasn't particularly kind either.
She often felt as if she was being used by Seifer as he tried to shape her into being Rinoa Caraway. Rin didn't really care about being princess the only true incentive she got was being alone with Seifer. Right then as she that thought escape her she knew why she was still with Seifer.she was lonely.
At least back at the orphanage she never once felt the feeling of loneliness. Rather it was another orphan or mother Edea, at least there was always someone. Here that wasn't the case here there was only Seifer.
That night without Seifer was especially lonely. She respected that Seifer had to be alone, but all the while she desperately needed comfort.
When she heard the knock on the door her heart skipped a beat. He first thought was Seifer had decided to come back earlier then expected, but the thought fleeted when Rin remembered that Seifer had a key to her apartment and wouldn't knock.
Her next thought made her move hastily to answer the door. Expecting to see Squall when she flung open the door Rin soon found herself sorely mistaken, there standing before her was Squall's friend Quistis.
Rin had to take a step back what in the world was she doing here? Rin was about to invite her in, but as soon as Quistis spoke she found no need.
"This will be short," the elegant woman told her "Your probably thinking I've come to tell you off, but I'm not I came to warn you."
Rin instinctively took another step back "Warn me about what?" she asked thinking that Quistis was threatening her.
"To warn you about Seifer," she told her "I think you're a big girl who can take care of herself, but Squall's worried even if he won't say it I can see that he is." Rin carefully studied Quistis who seemed to have good attentions, but Rin still doubted that Quistis truly wanted to help her.
"Seifer isn't someone to be trusted. If it seems like he's up to something he probably is."
She didn't know why, but Rin went to the immediate defensive towards Quistis' statement.
"Squall isn't exactly someone to be trusted either." She snapped only half meaning what she said.
Now it was Quistis turn to take offence "where the hell do you get the nerve to say that!?" she asked her angrily.
"Seifer told me about Squall turning him in when he took some of the drug dealer's money."
After snapping at her again Rin was surprised to Quistis laughing.
"He's really playing you for a fool," Quistis told her. Rin was only able to give her a stare. What did she mean by that?
Quistis continued talking but now her laughter had stopped and her demeanor went back to it's usual serious self.
"Squall didn't turn Seifer in the rest of us did," she went on to explain.
"We where all staking out a drug dealer, by we I mean Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Seifer, Squall and myself. We had gotten a lead that there was going to be a drop off that night. Once we saw someone enter the drug dealer in questions house we went in."
Quistis sighed a heavy sigh "Squall took lead into the house, but the two where ready for us. They began shooting Squall would have been dead if Seifer hadn't decided to go around back. He shot both the drug dealer and the drug dealer's customer.
"We called for an ambulance while we where waiting for it to come we took a look around the house. Seifer had found a horde of the dealer's cash. Seifer asked us all if we wanted any of it, but of course none of us did. Seifer took a good share of the money and made us swear not to tell a soul, unfortunately we later had to."
Quistis stopped for a moment she seemed to still be comprehended the events.
"Somehow the local authorities got wind of the missing money. They asked Squall about the money it seemed that customer that Seifer shot was still conscious at the time and saw Seifer take the money. Squall knew what Seifer would be facing if convicted, this wouldn't be Seifer's first offence. Knowing that judgment would be more lenient on himself. for the sake of his best friend Squall took the fall."
Rin stood there stunned she couldn't believe it, but yet she could.
"Once the rest of us heard what Squall had done we weren't going to watch him jeopardize his life and career for Seifer's mistake. The four of us decided to turn Seifer in ourselves.
If this was all true then what Seifer had told her was a lie. It didn't make sense that Seifer was lying to her his resentment towards Squall was so real. If this was all true why did he hate Squall so fiercely?
As if answering her thoughts Quistis told her why.
"The council who banned Seifer from being a mercenary and assigned him to one year in the Desert Prison told Seifer that Squall and his friends turned him in. The fact that we turned him in didn't bother him as much as having Squall turn him in. They had been friends for so long."
"No matter what we told Seifer he didn't believe us that Squall had nothing to do with him being turned in and that he in fact turned himself in. I don't know why Seifer refused to believe us, maybe he hated the fact the Squall was going to move on without him maybe he just deep down always had it in for Squall it's hard even today to say."
"Anyway the night before Seifer was being sent away to the Desert Prison he went after Squall you can see the results of the battle on their foreheads."
As preposterous as what Quistis was saying it was all making sense to her. In her mind missing pieces where finally coming together slowly, but surely.
"Squall tried to talk to Seifer with frequent visits to his prison cell, but Seifer didn't care.after all that Seifer was never the same again."
The story was nothing like she imagined it be, but one reason or another she believed every word of it. She now felt guilty for placing the blame on Squall before even finding out what really happened.
"So don't you ever dare say that Squall cannot be trusted! It be a sad sad world the day that Squall Lionheart can't be trusted."
Rin could still feel Quistis' disgusted stare even as she left her door frame. She was about to close her door when she heard voices come from down the hall.
"Why hello Quistis, what is a bitch like you doing out on a night like this," it was Seifer's voice which sounded happily fake. "Shouldn't you be turning into a vampire right about now?'
"Go to hell Seifer," she heard Quistis spat.
Footsteps where now heading her way and before Rin could close her door Seifer was standing right in front of her.
"I'm glad you waited up for me," Seifer said sarcastically walking right into her apartment.
"Why don't you come in," Rin said bitterly to herself.
After listening to Quistis Rin felt differently towards the man in her apartment. She didn't know if she wanted to bring anything up to Seifer, but when he asked what Quistis was doing here she thought it be best just to be honest.
"She came to tell me something."
"What?" Seifer asked suspiciously.
"She told me what happened between you and Squall a few years back."
"Now did she," his tone wasn't what she expected he was almost laughing.
"Did she tell you that her and I use to date? I dumped her right before I went to prison. I wouldn't put it pass her to take the opportunity to make me look bad. I don't think she ever got over me very well."
Rin couldn't believe him "Don't you think you're being a bit big headed?"
"Rin just keep your nose out of business that isn't yours," he still seemed to be laughing at the situation his laughter only irritate her.
"Seifer," she said seriously "Quistis told me how Squall wasn't the one to turn you in. She told me that he turned himself in for you and I.I kind of believe her."
Laughter no longer seemed to be processed in Seifer. His expression went dry, only his eyes showed any emotion and right then they where looking murderous.
Seifer looked her right in the eyes. "Stay the hell away from my past!" It has nothing to god damn do with you!"
As soon as the words escaped his mouth Seifer was out of there. Rin called after him but all she got was a slammed door in her face. At that moment Rin felt awful she didn't mean to hurt him. She still cared for him regardless of what happened in his past. He was right when saying she had nothing to do with his past only his future.
However, What Rin felt the worst about was not what she said to Seifer, but what he had said to Squall and felt a stronger need to apologize to him then Seifer.
* * * * *
Squall laid that night draped in sheets that didn't belong to him, in a bed that wasn't his, in a room that wasn't his, the building he was in wasn't his. The very town that he grew up in wasn't even his.
Squall lived in a world where nothing was his. He had no where to go home to and besides his friends that he traveled with he had no one to go home to.
That was one thing that Squall found so appealing about Rin. She was someone to come back to, of course she was also so much more. It was just that if Squall's world fell apart around him he'd wouldn't care because he have some one as incredible as Rin to go to.at least that was what Squall thought.
Squall did care that Rin was with Seifer. It wasn't jealousy at all Squall just wanted to be with her. He cursed himself for getting so attached so fast.
He and his friends where leaving for Esthar in the morning. Timber no longer held the appeal that it did 24 hours ago.
Squall try as he might couldn't slip her from his mind. He remembered his last thought that night was praying that Seifer treated her as well as she deserved.
Next morning the five of them waited for their train at the Timber train station. They were all quiet which was odd for the five of them, even at this time in the morning. They all must have realized what Squall was leaving behind and wanted to give him time to mourn. For this Squall was grateful.
It wasn't until Selphie gave a shout that the silence was broken.
"What is it?" Irvine asked.
"My numb chuck I think I left them at the hotel!"
"Are you sure?"
Selphie quickly checked over her belongings "Yes," she confirmed "It's not here."
"The train is going to be here in twenty minutes we better hurry," Quistis instructed making her way out of the station. Squall grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Don't worry," he said "I'll go alone."
"Are you sure?" Quistis asked him.
Squall had already started jogging towards the hotel "Yeah I could use the run," and before any one else could argue about the matter he was out of the station.
With Squall being in the excellent shape that he was it took no time for him to arrive back at the hotel. Selphie's numb chuck was lying on her bed. Squall grabbed it then began to sprint down the hotel's halls when he bumped into someone knocking them over. When he went to help that person up he froze, it was Rin.
"What are you doing here?" he asked helping her to her feet.
"I.I came to see you."
Squall stood there not knowing what to say. Here she was right in front of him and he had to leave. Shit! Squall knew he had to get going, but something in him must have told his feet not to move.
"Can we go somewhere to talk?" she asked him sweetly.
"No," was all he said. Looking hurt Rin began to walk away.
Squall knew that he had to say something or she was going to walk out of his life forever "Rin," he called to her and watched her turn around.
She was so beautiful that it made him weak in the knees. He walked up to her not taking his eyes of her own.
"I have to catch a train," he said apologetically "But I know I'll be coming back and when I do if you still want to talk.well we can."
She smiled "I'll be waiting,"
"Don't hold your breathe," he joked smilingly back at her.
With reluctance Squall parted from her. He knew he really had to book ass if he wanted to catch the train, but he couldn't stop himself. He stopped in the middle of the hall and locked his eyes once again with Rin's.
Breaking his eye contact with her Squall ran like hell to the station.
With just catching the train Squall collapsed into an empty seat next to his friends.
As Squall handed Selphie her numb chuck she asked him "What took you so long?"
Squall smiled to himself before he answered "I got side tracked by someone."
* * * * *
Squall had left again, but for some reason it was now different. She wouldn't be waiting for him to come back, this time she would be wanting him to come back.
Rin wanted Squall to come back so bad that it made each day drag by ever so slowly, but when he did come back her welcome was much more pleasant then last time.
It was a week after he left that Squall surprised her at the bar. When she saw him she threw her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. It made him blush but at least he returned the affection by hugging her back.
"So do you still want to have that talk?" he asked her grinning stupidly.
"I get off in two hours," she told him "how about you come back then?"
He slams his fist down on the counter cheerfully "I'll do just that."
Rin knew that she should probably tell Seifer that she was going out with Squall, but he didn't have to know everything that she does. He does plenty without her knowledge, besides she planned for her time out with Squall to be completely innocent.
When Squall came back two hours later all thoughts of Seifer vanished.
Squall and Rin went to a little restaurant down the street from Loire's. The night was filled with laughter and smiles, but all good things must come to an end they both knew it Squall, however, was the first to bring it up.
"So how are things with Seifer?" He asked Rin looked up at him "Come on you knew one of us had to bring him up."
"I know," she told him mournfully "I just wish we didn't have to."
Squall looks at her his grey-blue eyes where intense "If you don't mind me asking," he continued more hesitantly "Why are you with Seifer?"
Rin couldn't meet his eyes. Why was she with Seifer? She couldn't even explain her answer to herself there was no way she be able to explain it to Squall.
"I only ask because he just doesn't seem to make you very happy."
That wasn't true.well at least it wasn't when they where all alone, but in public he wasn't really good to her.
"I think that's for me to judge," was all she told him.
"Fair enough," Squall replied "I just want to know he's everything you want. I know Seifer I know most of the woman that he's been with.I just don't want to see you get hurt."
"I'm a big girl Squall I can handle it"-
"Yourself," he finished her sentence "I know I'm just worried.sorry," Squall continued to eat his meal.
The rest of their night was pleasant and when he dropped her off she was sure he would kiss her good night, but of course he didn't. Instead he gave her some troubling news.
"Rin me and the guys have been transferred to Balamb. It's going to be pretty hard for me to come by Timber now.I.I probably won't see you for a long time."
She didn't know what to say she was devastated. How could she not see him?
"Balambs not that far I can come see you." Rin suddenly spoke up the thought just occurring to her.
"I'm sure Seifer would like love that," Squall said sarcastically.
"Well he's going to have to deal with it because I know that I won't be able to handle not seeing you."
Her reply made a huge smile spread across his face. He was about to leave without any good bye exchange when Rin stopped him by grabbing him by the arm and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"I'll see you in Balamb then?" he asked a smile still hadn't left his face.
"Mad Shiva's couldn't stop me," she told him.
* * * * *
Seifer knew he had neglected Rin for some time now. He was with Victoria now and it was hard to make time for her, but he knew a dinner was long over due so he made reservations at the best place in Timber. Rin dressed in her finest, which wasn't much, just a simple pale dress. However, she was looking better then usual and it made Seifer consider staying at her place tonight, but he quickly dismissed the thought.
Victoria was fine with him seeing Rin as long as it helped his plan, but she probably wouldn't take to well to him sleeping with her. At least Rin didn't seem to miss it, although that disturbed him a bit.
They where seated in the back of the restaurant.
"Seifer it's really nice here," she said taking the place in.
"Well I thought you deserved a nice night out."
Rin smiled a nervous smile. Something was on her mind Rin Heartilly wasn't a cunning one he could see right through her.
"What's up?" he asked her.
His question seemed to startle her.
"I.I was wondering about or was thinking if it be alright if I visited my old orphanage just for the weekend."
That was it, all that nervousness just to ask to go home for the weekend? Even Seifer was amazed at how much he owned this girl. As far as her going away he was fine with it. In fact he was ecstatic. It gave him the chance to be alone with Victoria without having to worry.
"You go I think it will be good for you get away for a bit."
"You sure? I won't be training to become Princess Rinoa during this time." Seifer detected her resentment towards the princess.
"Don't worry about it I want you to have some fun I'll talk to Laguna for you."
"Thank you Seifer," she said relieved giving him a grateful hug.
"It's nothing just tell me when you think you'll be leaving."
* * * * *
Rin knew she should have told Seifer the truth, but it was so much easier to lie. She just wanted to see Squall and by telling Seifer the truth would only upset him. She this wasn't the right mentality, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
With permission from Laguna to take a few days off Rin was planning to leave for Balamb the next day.
Seifer came by early the next morning to say goodbye with a kiss the two parted. Rin felt a wave of guilt as Seifer's lips brushed against hers. It's true that they hadn't been together as much as they once had, but that still gave her no right to lie to him.
On the train ride to Balamb Rin promised to herself not to let things get out of hand. She prayed that she stick to that promise.
Later that afternoon Rin arrived in the beautiful city of Balamb. The sea breeze swept through her hair. It made Rin remember how close she was to settling her life here and she couldn't help but to wonder what her life would have been like if she did.
Squall had written to her saying that he had an apartment with his friend Zell down by the docks. It didn't take long to arrive at the apartment with the ocean view.
Even though the fresh air smelt incredible it was a bit colder on this side of town and Rin was grateful to step into the shelter of the apartment building.
By looking up his last name Lionheart Rin was able to find out his apartment was on the top floor room 42.
She got up to his door and was about to knock but something stopped her. She hadn't told Squall she was coming and she got the feeling like she was going to interrupt something.
Deciding that she didn't lie to Seifer for nothing she knocked on the door.
* * * * *
Why Zell would bring the woman to their apartment was beyond Squall. Well he knew why he brought them, but why he wanted Squall to get involved was the part that got to him.
He knew Squall wasn't into dating random woman.
Squall's arms still hurt from Zell grabbing them and dragging him into the kitchen after Squall had told him he was going to bed.
"Squall what's your problem?" Zell shouted in a whispered voice "These chicks are hot."
"Zell," he complained "Its really not"- Zell wouldn't let him get any further.
"Stop thinking about that waitress you don't want any chick that's Seifer's chick anyway."
Squall looked at the spiky haired man "So was Quistis."
"That's different."
Squall didn't see how it was different, but he was sick of arguing "Fine Zell have it your way," he said giving up.
For the rest of the night he hung out with Zell and his woman friends, though it wasn't enjoyable. They had nothing interesting to say they where just big chested, long blond haired bimbos who only seemed interested in getting it on.
That might be enough for Zell who was happily making out with one of the woman on the couch, but Squall wanted more. He was so relieved when there was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it," he said getting up hastily from his seat and away from the woman who was centimeters away from him.
Without even a glance from Zell who didn't seem the least bit interested at who was at the door Squall answered it.
"Rin!" he exclaimed at the woman at the door.
"Hey, I thought I drop in," her hesitation when she spoke made him want to comfort her, but he restrained himself "I hope you don't mind?"
He didn't mind, but now wasn't the best time. Zell was still preoccupied and the other woman was looking at him hungrily.
"It's no problem, but here," he grabbed her bag and set it in the apartment "why don't I give you a tour of the town."
And off the two went into the beautiful city of Balamb.
"You should really become a tour guide Squall your good at it," Rin joked as he showed her around the shopping center.
"Yeah, yeah, come on I want to take you to the rocks."
They reached the rocks Squall watched as Rin stood there in awe. The rocks at the end of Balamb beach gradually inclined to be 40 feet high. The ocean water shimmered against them with the blue haze of the night coming in.
"Come on," he urged helping her onto the first rock "It's even better on top."
The climb to the top was difficult for Rin, but with his help she gradually made her way. Once she almost slipped luckily Squall was there to grab her arm she collapsed into his chest. She laughed shyly as she continued her way up the rocks.
The two of them reached the top and Squall watched as Rin's breathe was taken away. She stood looking out to the vast ocean. The night's moon enhanced her pale skin as Squall stood before her he thought he had never seen such a beautiful sight, but it wasn't the ocean blue that had caught his attention.
He slowly walked up to Rin and whispered into her ear "I told you it's better."
"Squall," she gasped "I.this place." she seemed not to be able to grasp the feeling with words. She didn't need to all Squall had to do was take one look at her and he knew exactly what she was feeling.
Rin suddenly laughs catching him off guard
"What?" he asked curiously.
"I was supposed to go to Balamb to work in a fish factory, but I choose to seek another life in Timber. Now seeing all this being a fish packager doesn't seem so bad."
"I could never see you as a fish packager you deserve to be something more then that."
She looks at him "You see me as a waitress, no a singer, oh wait better yet the princess," she laughed at her own sarcasm.
Squall stepped forward so they both were looking directly in the others eyes he whispers to her "I see you being whatever you want to be."
Rin's eyes didn't batter not even when a tear came rolling down from one.
"Squall.I don't know what I want," Rin says desperately. Their faces where moving closer to each other.
"That's okay knowing what you want is half the battle. Just know you can do anything that you set your heart to never I mean never limit yourself."
Their lips were now only a breathe away and Squall wanted so bad to connect them, but knew that's not for him at the moment to decide.
Rin started to breathe faster. Squall still hadn't taken his gaze off hers.
"I.I can't do this," she whispered.
"I know," was all he could say.
"I better get you to a hotel," Squall wanted to tell her she could stay at his place, but knew she wouldn't go for that. Even though Squall truly only wanted her there with completely innocent and kind intentions in mind.
Carefully they walked down the rocks and he walked her to the town's hotel.
"I'll pick my bag up in the morning."
"Sounds good," he smiled trying to break the tension that formed around them.
"Good night Squall," Rin said walking into the hotel.
Squall didn't go home right away. He instead went back to the beach where he skipped rocks. The rocky shore kept being swept over by the ocean waves which was the only sound that contended with his thoughts.
Squall wished he could get over her or at least stop thinking about her constantly. He had no idea what it was that he was feeling the only thing he knew was it was entirely foreign to him.
He eventually returned to his apartment. Zell and his lady friends where no were to be seen. Squall jumped into his bed and left his thoughts continue into his slumber.
The next morning came and Squall awoke with a yawn. He groggily walked into the living room wondering to himself what he and Rin should do today.
It took him back when he saw that he wasn't the only one up. Zell laid wide awake spread across the couch his expression somber.
"What's going on Zell?" The martial arts expert never woke up before dawn if he could help it.
"She came over this morning," he told him.
Knowing the answer Squall asked anyway "Who?"
"Rin," Zell said dully "she came for her bag she wanted me to tell you she's sorry."
Squall should have known something like this was going to happen. She was with Seifer he had no right to do any of the things he did last night as innocent as they may be. She was his friend and Squall felt extreme guilt for taking advantage of their friendship. "You all right man?" Zell asked concerned.
"Yeah it was just one of those nights."
Zell gives Squall a playful pat on the back "Woman, what can you do buddy?"
Squall smiled weakly "I wish I knew."
That was close he could see that want in her eyes and the memory of himself fading away.
If that 'righteous' son of a bitch and her got together kiss the 10 million gil goodbye, along with all of his dreams.
The satisfaction of seeing the hurt look on Squall's face felt good, but he knew that it came at a price. He felt Rin's angry glare penetrating him he turned to look at her. He didn't like the look she was giving him at all, especially coming from her.
"Don't look at me like that?" he snapped.
You didn't have to tell him at least not like that," she snapped back.
"You have no right to intervene in my relationship with Squall. You weren't there you don't know what I've been through!" His argument was a legitimate one and she knew it.
What happened between Squall and himself still burned him. Regardless the son of a bitch had to right to turn him in his betrayal would forever light a fire in Seifer's soul and nothing that Rin said was going to extinguish that fire.
From within his thoughts he heard Rin shyly say.
"He's my friend."
"He was mine at one time too; trust me being his friend was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made."
He watched as she seemed to be contemplating something. Seifer's eyes wondered over to Victoria who was staring at him tantalizingly through the stage curtain. She was waiting for him not wanting to hold her up a second longer he hurriedly says to Rin.
"Why don't you go home I'll meet you at your apartment later tonight."
"What are you going to do until then?" she asked him.
"I need time to think," he lied.
"Alright," Rin said apprehensively.
He watched as she put away her pad and pencil Seifer kept his eye's on her till she was out the door. Once she was out of sight he didn't waste another moment as he practically ran to the stage.
* * * * *
Squall wandered aimlessly for awhile before returning back to the hotel. He knew that he shouldn't be all that surprised that she was with someone, but Seifer? The thought of Rin in Seifer's arms and.it sickened him.
He knew he had no right to criticize their relationship he hadn't known her very long or for that matter very well, but.damn her, he didn't mean it but he felt it. What did she have that made him feel the way he did?
Another emotion struck Squall other then anger, betrayal and resentment it was fear. Squall knew Rin wasn't his to save, but he knew Seifer and the thought of her with him didn't settle well in his stomach at all. It wasn't just jealousy either.
Squall went back to the hotel where his friends where gathered.
Upon first sight of Squall Irvine joked "Why you home so early I thought I wouldn't be seeing you till tomorrow morning." The smile on Irvine and everyone else's faces faded as they got a better look at Squall's sullen expression.
The next question Irvine asked was only out of concern "What happened Squall?"
He told his friends about what happened at Loires and when he told them about Seifer their reactions were more irate then his.
"What is that son of a bitch doing in Timber!?" Zell asked his hatred almost out of control.
"I thought he be in Deling where all the Rinoa Caraway action his for sure," Selphie whined her voice more shocked then angry, but not by much.
"What is that Rin dong with someone like Seifer?" Quistis asked.
"I don't know, but I won't let myself get upset. As long as she's happy then everything is fine." It was a lie and everyone knew it.
"Squall are you saying that you're alright with this girl being with Seifer?" Quistis asked him incredulously "you do remember Seifer and all that he has done?"
"Of course I do!" he shouted at her. Everyone took a few steps back from him Squall wasn't one for outburst.
"What the hell should I do about it!? Of course I fear what Seifer might do to her," Squall's voice calmed down, but a fierce passion that still remained had his friends hanging off his every word. "I haven't known her very long I have no right to say anything to her."
Everyone remained quiet Squall rarely ever showed rare emotion. His friends where taken back by the emotion that was showing on his face there was so much that the five of them couldn't distinguish exactly what their friend was going through. Only Quistis was able to say something.
"Are you honesty willing to stand back and idly watch her with Seifer?" she asked him.
With a look of despair Squall spoke "Who the hell am I to protest?"
"I won't believe that I'll never believe that." Quistis said lastly before leaving the room.
Squall stood there watching the door shut behind Quistis. He felt encouraging hand fall on his shoulder it belonged to Zell who tried to reason with him.
"Squall, your nineteen years old you're too young to worry about some girl you barely know."
Squall shook his head wishing Zell's words where true. Squall was never easily convinced, but for whatever reason he was about her. Nevertheless, for his friend's sake he pretended to consider Zell's words.
"Maybe," he told him "Maybe."
* * * * *
Rin knew Seifer's hatred towards Squall was only led on by Squall's betrayal. She also knew that she had no right to get involved she'd been contemplating this thought for awhile and to her dismay the outcome in her head was always the same.she shouldn't get involved. Nevertheless, she still had a strong urge to see Squall, if only as a friend.
Where Rin had no right to make any judgment on Squall and Seifer's relationship Seifer had no right to decline her friendship with Squall.
Seifer had many friends besides her as a girlfriend. Rin had only him and Laguna, but the forty some year old hardly counted. When Seifer was out with his friends she was alone. She didn't mind being alone, but whenever she really needed to be around someone Seifer was never there.
It was sad that if Squall had come back a month ago things would have been different. She knew Squall would be gone a lot with his job, but she still defiantly considered a romantic relationship right before he left, but now after Seifer she didn't expect any relationship at all from Squall.
She couldn't blame Seifer. Though, Squall betrayed him and no matter the circumstances that betrayal gave Seifer every right to hold angry feelings towards Squall. At least in Rin's insignificant opinion it did. As Seifer so often pointed out what she thought on matters carried little weight.
Rin wondered what it was that kept her with Seifer. Other then his sentimental and touching moments which came few and far between she couldn't think of anything. He didn't necessarily treat her well either he wasn't awful, but wasn't particularly kind either.
She often felt as if she was being used by Seifer as he tried to shape her into being Rinoa Caraway. Rin didn't really care about being princess the only true incentive she got was being alone with Seifer. Right then as she that thought escape her she knew why she was still with Seifer.she was lonely.
At least back at the orphanage she never once felt the feeling of loneliness. Rather it was another orphan or mother Edea, at least there was always someone. Here that wasn't the case here there was only Seifer.
That night without Seifer was especially lonely. She respected that Seifer had to be alone, but all the while she desperately needed comfort.
When she heard the knock on the door her heart skipped a beat. He first thought was Seifer had decided to come back earlier then expected, but the thought fleeted when Rin remembered that Seifer had a key to her apartment and wouldn't knock.
Her next thought made her move hastily to answer the door. Expecting to see Squall when she flung open the door Rin soon found herself sorely mistaken, there standing before her was Squall's friend Quistis.
Rin had to take a step back what in the world was she doing here? Rin was about to invite her in, but as soon as Quistis spoke she found no need.
"This will be short," the elegant woman told her "Your probably thinking I've come to tell you off, but I'm not I came to warn you."
Rin instinctively took another step back "Warn me about what?" she asked thinking that Quistis was threatening her.
"To warn you about Seifer," she told her "I think you're a big girl who can take care of herself, but Squall's worried even if he won't say it I can see that he is." Rin carefully studied Quistis who seemed to have good attentions, but Rin still doubted that Quistis truly wanted to help her.
"Seifer isn't someone to be trusted. If it seems like he's up to something he probably is."
She didn't know why, but Rin went to the immediate defensive towards Quistis' statement.
"Squall isn't exactly someone to be trusted either." She snapped only half meaning what she said.
Now it was Quistis turn to take offence "where the hell do you get the nerve to say that!?" she asked her angrily.
"Seifer told me about Squall turning him in when he took some of the drug dealer's money."
After snapping at her again Rin was surprised to Quistis laughing.
"He's really playing you for a fool," Quistis told her. Rin was only able to give her a stare. What did she mean by that?
Quistis continued talking but now her laughter had stopped and her demeanor went back to it's usual serious self.
"Squall didn't turn Seifer in the rest of us did," she went on to explain.
"We where all staking out a drug dealer, by we I mean Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Seifer, Squall and myself. We had gotten a lead that there was going to be a drop off that night. Once we saw someone enter the drug dealer in questions house we went in."
Quistis sighed a heavy sigh "Squall took lead into the house, but the two where ready for us. They began shooting Squall would have been dead if Seifer hadn't decided to go around back. He shot both the drug dealer and the drug dealer's customer.
"We called for an ambulance while we where waiting for it to come we took a look around the house. Seifer had found a horde of the dealer's cash. Seifer asked us all if we wanted any of it, but of course none of us did. Seifer took a good share of the money and made us swear not to tell a soul, unfortunately we later had to."
Quistis stopped for a moment she seemed to still be comprehended the events.
"Somehow the local authorities got wind of the missing money. They asked Squall about the money it seemed that customer that Seifer shot was still conscious at the time and saw Seifer take the money. Squall knew what Seifer would be facing if convicted, this wouldn't be Seifer's first offence. Knowing that judgment would be more lenient on himself. for the sake of his best friend Squall took the fall."
Rin stood there stunned she couldn't believe it, but yet she could.
"Once the rest of us heard what Squall had done we weren't going to watch him jeopardize his life and career for Seifer's mistake. The four of us decided to turn Seifer in ourselves.
If this was all true then what Seifer had told her was a lie. It didn't make sense that Seifer was lying to her his resentment towards Squall was so real. If this was all true why did he hate Squall so fiercely?
As if answering her thoughts Quistis told her why.
"The council who banned Seifer from being a mercenary and assigned him to one year in the Desert Prison told Seifer that Squall and his friends turned him in. The fact that we turned him in didn't bother him as much as having Squall turn him in. They had been friends for so long."
"No matter what we told Seifer he didn't believe us that Squall had nothing to do with him being turned in and that he in fact turned himself in. I don't know why Seifer refused to believe us, maybe he hated the fact the Squall was going to move on without him maybe he just deep down always had it in for Squall it's hard even today to say."
"Anyway the night before Seifer was being sent away to the Desert Prison he went after Squall you can see the results of the battle on their foreheads."
As preposterous as what Quistis was saying it was all making sense to her. In her mind missing pieces where finally coming together slowly, but surely.
"Squall tried to talk to Seifer with frequent visits to his prison cell, but Seifer didn't care.after all that Seifer was never the same again."
The story was nothing like she imagined it be, but one reason or another she believed every word of it. She now felt guilty for placing the blame on Squall before even finding out what really happened.
"So don't you ever dare say that Squall cannot be trusted! It be a sad sad world the day that Squall Lionheart can't be trusted."
Rin could still feel Quistis' disgusted stare even as she left her door frame. She was about to close her door when she heard voices come from down the hall.
"Why hello Quistis, what is a bitch like you doing out on a night like this," it was Seifer's voice which sounded happily fake. "Shouldn't you be turning into a vampire right about now?'
"Go to hell Seifer," she heard Quistis spat.
Footsteps where now heading her way and before Rin could close her door Seifer was standing right in front of her.
"I'm glad you waited up for me," Seifer said sarcastically walking right into her apartment.
"Why don't you come in," Rin said bitterly to herself.
After listening to Quistis Rin felt differently towards the man in her apartment. She didn't know if she wanted to bring anything up to Seifer, but when he asked what Quistis was doing here she thought it be best just to be honest.
"She came to tell me something."
"What?" Seifer asked suspiciously.
"She told me what happened between you and Squall a few years back."
"Now did she," his tone wasn't what she expected he was almost laughing.
"Did she tell you that her and I use to date? I dumped her right before I went to prison. I wouldn't put it pass her to take the opportunity to make me look bad. I don't think she ever got over me very well."
Rin couldn't believe him "Don't you think you're being a bit big headed?"
"Rin just keep your nose out of business that isn't yours," he still seemed to be laughing at the situation his laughter only irritate her.
"Seifer," she said seriously "Quistis told me how Squall wasn't the one to turn you in. She told me that he turned himself in for you and I.I kind of believe her."
Laughter no longer seemed to be processed in Seifer. His expression went dry, only his eyes showed any emotion and right then they where looking murderous.
Seifer looked her right in the eyes. "Stay the hell away from my past!" It has nothing to god damn do with you!"
As soon as the words escaped his mouth Seifer was out of there. Rin called after him but all she got was a slammed door in her face. At that moment Rin felt awful she didn't mean to hurt him. She still cared for him regardless of what happened in his past. He was right when saying she had nothing to do with his past only his future.
However, What Rin felt the worst about was not what she said to Seifer, but what he had said to Squall and felt a stronger need to apologize to him then Seifer.
* * * * *
Squall laid that night draped in sheets that didn't belong to him, in a bed that wasn't his, in a room that wasn't his, the building he was in wasn't his. The very town that he grew up in wasn't even his.
Squall lived in a world where nothing was his. He had no where to go home to and besides his friends that he traveled with he had no one to go home to.
That was one thing that Squall found so appealing about Rin. She was someone to come back to, of course she was also so much more. It was just that if Squall's world fell apart around him he'd wouldn't care because he have some one as incredible as Rin to go to.at least that was what Squall thought.
Squall did care that Rin was with Seifer. It wasn't jealousy at all Squall just wanted to be with her. He cursed himself for getting so attached so fast.
He and his friends where leaving for Esthar in the morning. Timber no longer held the appeal that it did 24 hours ago.
Squall try as he might couldn't slip her from his mind. He remembered his last thought that night was praying that Seifer treated her as well as she deserved.
Next morning the five of them waited for their train at the Timber train station. They were all quiet which was odd for the five of them, even at this time in the morning. They all must have realized what Squall was leaving behind and wanted to give him time to mourn. For this Squall was grateful.
It wasn't until Selphie gave a shout that the silence was broken.
"What is it?" Irvine asked.
"My numb chuck I think I left them at the hotel!"
"Are you sure?"
Selphie quickly checked over her belongings "Yes," she confirmed "It's not here."
"The train is going to be here in twenty minutes we better hurry," Quistis instructed making her way out of the station. Squall grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Don't worry," he said "I'll go alone."
"Are you sure?" Quistis asked him.
Squall had already started jogging towards the hotel "Yeah I could use the run," and before any one else could argue about the matter he was out of the station.
With Squall being in the excellent shape that he was it took no time for him to arrive back at the hotel. Selphie's numb chuck was lying on her bed. Squall grabbed it then began to sprint down the hotel's halls when he bumped into someone knocking them over. When he went to help that person up he froze, it was Rin.
"What are you doing here?" he asked helping her to her feet.
"I.I came to see you."
Squall stood there not knowing what to say. Here she was right in front of him and he had to leave. Shit! Squall knew he had to get going, but something in him must have told his feet not to move.
"Can we go somewhere to talk?" she asked him sweetly.
"No," was all he said. Looking hurt Rin began to walk away.
Squall knew that he had to say something or she was going to walk out of his life forever "Rin," he called to her and watched her turn around.
She was so beautiful that it made him weak in the knees. He walked up to her not taking his eyes of her own.
"I have to catch a train," he said apologetically "But I know I'll be coming back and when I do if you still want to talk.well we can."
She smiled "I'll be waiting,"
"Don't hold your breathe," he joked smilingly back at her.
With reluctance Squall parted from her. He knew he really had to book ass if he wanted to catch the train, but he couldn't stop himself. He stopped in the middle of the hall and locked his eyes once again with Rin's.
Breaking his eye contact with her Squall ran like hell to the station.
With just catching the train Squall collapsed into an empty seat next to his friends.
As Squall handed Selphie her numb chuck she asked him "What took you so long?"
Squall smiled to himself before he answered "I got side tracked by someone."
* * * * *
Squall had left again, but for some reason it was now different. She wouldn't be waiting for him to come back, this time she would be wanting him to come back.
Rin wanted Squall to come back so bad that it made each day drag by ever so slowly, but when he did come back her welcome was much more pleasant then last time.
It was a week after he left that Squall surprised her at the bar. When she saw him she threw her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. It made him blush but at least he returned the affection by hugging her back.
"So do you still want to have that talk?" he asked her grinning stupidly.
"I get off in two hours," she told him "how about you come back then?"
He slams his fist down on the counter cheerfully "I'll do just that."
Rin knew that she should probably tell Seifer that she was going out with Squall, but he didn't have to know everything that she does. He does plenty without her knowledge, besides she planned for her time out with Squall to be completely innocent.
When Squall came back two hours later all thoughts of Seifer vanished.
Squall and Rin went to a little restaurant down the street from Loire's. The night was filled with laughter and smiles, but all good things must come to an end they both knew it Squall, however, was the first to bring it up.
"So how are things with Seifer?" He asked Rin looked up at him "Come on you knew one of us had to bring him up."
"I know," she told him mournfully "I just wish we didn't have to."
Squall looks at her his grey-blue eyes where intense "If you don't mind me asking," he continued more hesitantly "Why are you with Seifer?"
Rin couldn't meet his eyes. Why was she with Seifer? She couldn't even explain her answer to herself there was no way she be able to explain it to Squall.
"I only ask because he just doesn't seem to make you very happy."
That wasn't true.well at least it wasn't when they where all alone, but in public he wasn't really good to her.
"I think that's for me to judge," was all she told him.
"Fair enough," Squall replied "I just want to know he's everything you want. I know Seifer I know most of the woman that he's been with.I just don't want to see you get hurt."
"I'm a big girl Squall I can handle it"-
"Yourself," he finished her sentence "I know I'm just worried.sorry," Squall continued to eat his meal.
The rest of their night was pleasant and when he dropped her off she was sure he would kiss her good night, but of course he didn't. Instead he gave her some troubling news.
"Rin me and the guys have been transferred to Balamb. It's going to be pretty hard for me to come by Timber now.I.I probably won't see you for a long time."
She didn't know what to say she was devastated. How could she not see him?
"Balambs not that far I can come see you." Rin suddenly spoke up the thought just occurring to her.
"I'm sure Seifer would like love that," Squall said sarcastically.
"Well he's going to have to deal with it because I know that I won't be able to handle not seeing you."
Her reply made a huge smile spread across his face. He was about to leave without any good bye exchange when Rin stopped him by grabbing him by the arm and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"I'll see you in Balamb then?" he asked a smile still hadn't left his face.
"Mad Shiva's couldn't stop me," she told him.
* * * * *
Seifer knew he had neglected Rin for some time now. He was with Victoria now and it was hard to make time for her, but he knew a dinner was long over due so he made reservations at the best place in Timber. Rin dressed in her finest, which wasn't much, just a simple pale dress. However, she was looking better then usual and it made Seifer consider staying at her place tonight, but he quickly dismissed the thought.
Victoria was fine with him seeing Rin as long as it helped his plan, but she probably wouldn't take to well to him sleeping with her. At least Rin didn't seem to miss it, although that disturbed him a bit.
They where seated in the back of the restaurant.
"Seifer it's really nice here," she said taking the place in.
"Well I thought you deserved a nice night out."
Rin smiled a nervous smile. Something was on her mind Rin Heartilly wasn't a cunning one he could see right through her.
"What's up?" he asked her.
His question seemed to startle her.
"I.I was wondering about or was thinking if it be alright if I visited my old orphanage just for the weekend."
That was it, all that nervousness just to ask to go home for the weekend? Even Seifer was amazed at how much he owned this girl. As far as her going away he was fine with it. In fact he was ecstatic. It gave him the chance to be alone with Victoria without having to worry.
"You go I think it will be good for you get away for a bit."
"You sure? I won't be training to become Princess Rinoa during this time." Seifer detected her resentment towards the princess.
"Don't worry about it I want you to have some fun I'll talk to Laguna for you."
"Thank you Seifer," she said relieved giving him a grateful hug.
"It's nothing just tell me when you think you'll be leaving."
* * * * *
Rin knew she should have told Seifer the truth, but it was so much easier to lie. She just wanted to see Squall and by telling Seifer the truth would only upset him. She this wasn't the right mentality, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
With permission from Laguna to take a few days off Rin was planning to leave for Balamb the next day.
Seifer came by early the next morning to say goodbye with a kiss the two parted. Rin felt a wave of guilt as Seifer's lips brushed against hers. It's true that they hadn't been together as much as they once had, but that still gave her no right to lie to him.
On the train ride to Balamb Rin promised to herself not to let things get out of hand. She prayed that she stick to that promise.
Later that afternoon Rin arrived in the beautiful city of Balamb. The sea breeze swept through her hair. It made Rin remember how close she was to settling her life here and she couldn't help but to wonder what her life would have been like if she did.
Squall had written to her saying that he had an apartment with his friend Zell down by the docks. It didn't take long to arrive at the apartment with the ocean view.
Even though the fresh air smelt incredible it was a bit colder on this side of town and Rin was grateful to step into the shelter of the apartment building.
By looking up his last name Lionheart Rin was able to find out his apartment was on the top floor room 42.
She got up to his door and was about to knock but something stopped her. She hadn't told Squall she was coming and she got the feeling like she was going to interrupt something.
Deciding that she didn't lie to Seifer for nothing she knocked on the door.
* * * * *
Why Zell would bring the woman to their apartment was beyond Squall. Well he knew why he brought them, but why he wanted Squall to get involved was the part that got to him.
He knew Squall wasn't into dating random woman.
Squall's arms still hurt from Zell grabbing them and dragging him into the kitchen after Squall had told him he was going to bed.
"Squall what's your problem?" Zell shouted in a whispered voice "These chicks are hot."
"Zell," he complained "Its really not"- Zell wouldn't let him get any further.
"Stop thinking about that waitress you don't want any chick that's Seifer's chick anyway."
Squall looked at the spiky haired man "So was Quistis."
"That's different."
Squall didn't see how it was different, but he was sick of arguing "Fine Zell have it your way," he said giving up.
For the rest of the night he hung out with Zell and his woman friends, though it wasn't enjoyable. They had nothing interesting to say they where just big chested, long blond haired bimbos who only seemed interested in getting it on.
That might be enough for Zell who was happily making out with one of the woman on the couch, but Squall wanted more. He was so relieved when there was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it," he said getting up hastily from his seat and away from the woman who was centimeters away from him.
Without even a glance from Zell who didn't seem the least bit interested at who was at the door Squall answered it.
"Rin!" he exclaimed at the woman at the door.
"Hey, I thought I drop in," her hesitation when she spoke made him want to comfort her, but he restrained himself "I hope you don't mind?"
He didn't mind, but now wasn't the best time. Zell was still preoccupied and the other woman was looking at him hungrily.
"It's no problem, but here," he grabbed her bag and set it in the apartment "why don't I give you a tour of the town."
And off the two went into the beautiful city of Balamb.
"You should really become a tour guide Squall your good at it," Rin joked as he showed her around the shopping center.
"Yeah, yeah, come on I want to take you to the rocks."
They reached the rocks Squall watched as Rin stood there in awe. The rocks at the end of Balamb beach gradually inclined to be 40 feet high. The ocean water shimmered against them with the blue haze of the night coming in.
"Come on," he urged helping her onto the first rock "It's even better on top."
The climb to the top was difficult for Rin, but with his help she gradually made her way. Once she almost slipped luckily Squall was there to grab her arm she collapsed into his chest. She laughed shyly as she continued her way up the rocks.
The two of them reached the top and Squall watched as Rin's breathe was taken away. She stood looking out to the vast ocean. The night's moon enhanced her pale skin as Squall stood before her he thought he had never seen such a beautiful sight, but it wasn't the ocean blue that had caught his attention.
He slowly walked up to Rin and whispered into her ear "I told you it's better."
"Squall," she gasped "I.this place." she seemed not to be able to grasp the feeling with words. She didn't need to all Squall had to do was take one look at her and he knew exactly what she was feeling.
Rin suddenly laughs catching him off guard
"What?" he asked curiously.
"I was supposed to go to Balamb to work in a fish factory, but I choose to seek another life in Timber. Now seeing all this being a fish packager doesn't seem so bad."
"I could never see you as a fish packager you deserve to be something more then that."
She looks at him "You see me as a waitress, no a singer, oh wait better yet the princess," she laughed at her own sarcasm.
Squall stepped forward so they both were looking directly in the others eyes he whispers to her "I see you being whatever you want to be."
Rin's eyes didn't batter not even when a tear came rolling down from one.
"Squall.I don't know what I want," Rin says desperately. Their faces where moving closer to each other.
"That's okay knowing what you want is half the battle. Just know you can do anything that you set your heart to never I mean never limit yourself."
Their lips were now only a breathe away and Squall wanted so bad to connect them, but knew that's not for him at the moment to decide.
Rin started to breathe faster. Squall still hadn't taken his gaze off hers.
"I.I can't do this," she whispered.
"I know," was all he could say.
"I better get you to a hotel," Squall wanted to tell her she could stay at his place, but knew she wouldn't go for that. Even though Squall truly only wanted her there with completely innocent and kind intentions in mind.
Carefully they walked down the rocks and he walked her to the town's hotel.
"I'll pick my bag up in the morning."
"Sounds good," he smiled trying to break the tension that formed around them.
"Good night Squall," Rin said walking into the hotel.
Squall didn't go home right away. He instead went back to the beach where he skipped rocks. The rocky shore kept being swept over by the ocean waves which was the only sound that contended with his thoughts.
Squall wished he could get over her or at least stop thinking about her constantly. He had no idea what it was that he was feeling the only thing he knew was it was entirely foreign to him.
He eventually returned to his apartment. Zell and his lady friends where no were to be seen. Squall jumped into his bed and left his thoughts continue into his slumber.
The next morning came and Squall awoke with a yawn. He groggily walked into the living room wondering to himself what he and Rin should do today.
It took him back when he saw that he wasn't the only one up. Zell laid wide awake spread across the couch his expression somber.
"What's going on Zell?" The martial arts expert never woke up before dawn if he could help it.
"She came over this morning," he told him.
Knowing the answer Squall asked anyway "Who?"
"Rin," Zell said dully "she came for her bag she wanted me to tell you she's sorry."
Squall should have known something like this was going to happen. She was with Seifer he had no right to do any of the things he did last night as innocent as they may be. She was his friend and Squall felt extreme guilt for taking advantage of their friendship. "You all right man?" Zell asked concerned.
"Yeah it was just one of those nights."
Zell gives Squall a playful pat on the back "Woman, what can you do buddy?"
Squall smiled weakly "I wish I knew."