Ch. 5 Lost
Things started to go down shit creek and Seifer knew it. Life with Victoria wasn't even as great as it use to be.
Raijin, Fujin and himself had started a search for a new girl, but the search was futile it was too late in the game to be looking for someone else.
Besides all that there was something else that was eating away at Seifer. With ever new girl he looked at he became more convinced that Rin was the real thing. What really got Seifer was the fact that he had the true Rinoa Caraway literally in his hands and he screwed that over.
Seifer might have been on the brink of depression if he wasn't so supremely confident that she would come back. There was no doubt in his mind that Rin would be coming back any day now bored to death of Squall and begging for forgiveness.
Unfortunately in an ironic turn of events Seifer was half right.
* * * * *
"Rin, Selphie and I are going shopping you sure you don't want to come?" Quistis asked her already half way out the door.
"Yeah Squall and I already have the day planned." Rin told her.
"Okay behave yourself," and with a wink the tall blond was out the door.
Rin finished getting ready then left for Squalls. The two of them had decided to go out for a picnic and Rin thought this might be when they.you know. Regardless she was excited.
Once she met up with him the two set off for the flower plains right on the outskirts of Balamb. Rin thought that the rock bluffs had to be the most beautiful place in the world, but she was mistaken. The rock bluffs where only the colors blue and grey the flower plains however, were a vast assortment of colors. When they laid their blanket down it felt like she was lying in a rainbow.
It was a wonderful picnic the birds sang out, the grass and flowers made an aroma that Rin couldn't place, but thought it was the sweetest thing she ever smelt.
Their day was coming to a close. Squall was on his back reading the newspaper Rin slowly crawled over to him sprawling herself over his chest. He smiled at her and gently started stroking her back Rin smiled back then looked up at the paper he was reading. On the front cover was an older man in rich clothing he wore a crown on the top of his head. Rin undoubtedly knew he had to be the king himself. It was funny that she never actually had seen a picture of his majesty considering that Seifer was trying to convince her that he, the king, was her father. Although as Rin looked closer she couldn't put her finger on it but there was something about that man.
It occurred to Rin that she never actually told Squall what Seifer thought she was. She was curious about what his opinion on the matter would be so she asked.
"What do you think about all this searching for a long lost princess?"
"I think it's sad that there's girls' out there trying to be someone that there not."
Rin was real quiet until out from no where Squall asks her "Rin would you sing for me?"
"What?"
"I remember catching you once singing to yourself. I thought it was the most angelic sound I ever heard."
"Oh stop it," Rin pouted thoroughly embarrassed.
Squall looks at her his face was intense "I got you a gig."
"What!?"
"I asked Laguna and he was thrilled about the idea. I know you'll knock the socks off everyman in that bar."
Rin didn't know what to say she was outraged and at the moment wasn't capable of words.
"It's a week from today."
Still Rin didn't say anything
"I know you'll be great."
"What the hell do you know!?"
Squall moves back from her shocked from her out burst.
"It was real sweet in the beginning when you thought I could be a singer, but now.dammit Squall stop making me things I'm not!"
"Rin, I believe in you. From the day I met you I believed in you and that's something that's going to last till the day I die." "Just stop it Squall I'm not a singer!"
"Then what are you?" he asked earnestly
".I don't know." Rin breaks down Squall goes to comfort her, but she pushes him away. With tears in her eyes she asked him.
"What would you say if I told you I think I'm Princess Rinoa Caraway?"
Squall would have laughed out loud if he hadn't seen the seriousness that engulfed her entire body.
"Are you telling me you think you're the lost princess?"
"I think I am?"
Rin goes into her past few months training with Seifer. Squall listens intently it seemed with every word that came out of her mouth made him grow angrier. Once she was finished Squall was completely beside himself.
"Rin, get that idea out of your head. Your Rin Heartilly don't ever let Seifer tell you otherwise."
"Squall, I know that Seifer was just using me, but he really believes that I'm the princess and.I do too."
Squall throws his hands violently in the air. "I can't believe your saying this! You do know what I do for a living? I stop con artist from using beautiful innocent girls from being used by people like Seifer!"
"I can't explain it Squall, but when I saw his picture," she points at the newspaper "I knew that I had seen him before and for the first time.I believed that I'm Rinoa Caraway."
With a deep, deep sigh Squall asks her "So what are you going to do about it?"
Surprisingly Rin doesn't even have to think about it "I want to meet my family."
"Rin," he pleads with her understanding that he was concerned "I know you've never known your family and it must be hard, but don't go making yourself a family that isn't yours."
"How dare you say that!?" Rin had never been so offended in all her life and coming from Squall made it a hundred times worse.
"You have no right talking to me about families! Just because you can put your family on hold and use them to bend to your own whims"-
Now she had done it. Her words made something inside Squall snap.
"You have no right to judge what you don't understand!"
"Neither do you!"
"Rin your right I don't understand why you would want to be Rinoa Caraway when Rin Heartilly is the most amazing person I know."
"Because I want my family"
"You have a family Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Zell.me."
She softens, but not for long "There your family I need my own!"
"But why a pretend one?"
"Does it occur to you that I'm not pretending? That maybe I am Princess Rinoa Caraway."
"No, because your Rin Heartilly!"
Not able to handle it any more she storms away.
"Where are you going?" Squall called after her.
"To the one person who believes in me and to who I really am"
She struck him and she was glad that she did. Rin didn't want Squall following her. She needed to sort things out and the only person who would be able to help her with that went by the name Seifer Almansy.
* * * * *
"Laguna, I'm not worried," Seifer addressed the distressed man.
"She'll come back to me," he winks at the bartender "they always do."
"What would you say if I told you I don't want her to?"
"Are you saying that?" inquired Seifer.
"Squall actually called me the other day granted it was about a business matter, but Rin's name did come up and I know he really cares for her. I think she really makes him happy I don't know if a fourth of 10 million gil is worth taking that away from him.
Seifer couldn't believe what he was hearing and it took great restraint to fight the urge of taking Laguna's head off with his gunblade.
"Laguna you're obviously not thinking the situation through. When you see Rin walk through that door," he points to the bar's entrance "You'll see you 2.5 million gil and forget all about Squall."
As if on cue Rin comes storming through the door. Her eyes were puffy and red as if she had been crying.
"I didn't forget," Laguna snarled, but Seifer choose to ignore his snide remark and instead walked up to the obviously distressed Rin. Putting on a concerned face Seifer stepped up to her she ran right into his chest then awkwardly jumps back.
"Se.Seifer," she said startled, but relieved.
"Rin, what are you doing back?" Rin ignored his forced concern her mind seemed to be set on something else.
"Seifer, do you really think I'm the princess?" she mumbled to him.
Seifer smirks "You know I do."
Rin seemed to be thinking about something really hard and Seifer thought it best just to let her concentrate. At least after several minutes she finally said something.
"Will you take me to his majesty.my father?"
He was always confident that she would come back to him, but he didn't for see her being so eager to get back to training.
Right then for the first time he truly knew that she was the real Rinoa Caraway. He always had thought she was and too convinced to think otherwise, but right then he knew.
He turned to her looking at her in entirely different light "We leave in one week," he told her casting all his other thoughts away and fixing his eyes for the first time on only the woman right in front of him.
* * * * *
The last thing he wanted was to make her run away, but Squall didn't know what he should have done. She thought she was the god damn princess.
He wanted to run after her, but something held him back. He once told Rin that she wasn't lost but only needed to find herself.well that's probably what she ran off to do and as much as Squall didn't want to admit it he knew that was something that she had to do herself. Then again he told her he always be there for her Squall was so confused that he found it hard to even simply think.
Wanting to get away from his thoughts Squall went back to his apartment where Zell and Irvine sat around the table playing cards.
"Why are you home so early?" Zell asked and then in a pretend baby voice he whimpered "Did you and Rin get into a fight?"
The young mercenary noticed Squall's gloomy expression and asked seriously.
"What happened?"
Squall went through the whole story with his two friends. They were quick o just dismiss Rin off as insane.
"Do you actually want to be with someone who thinks she's Princess Rinoa Caraway?" Zell asked him laughing at the very idea.
"You know how I feel for the girl."
"But that was before you knew who she thought she was," Zell said persistently.
"I agree with Zell for once. I don't care how great she is in the sac you don't want someone with baggage like that."
Squall punches Irvine hard in the shoulder "Knock it off both of you," both Zell and Irvine go shamefully quiet. "I.I kinda believe her and any doubt that still remains is sort of washed away by how much I care for her."
"Then why did you let her go?" said a voice from the door. It was Quistis she was with Selphie the two had shopping bags in hand. The two must have been just returning from their shopping expedition.
"It.it was something that I had to let her do," he told her his voice sounding less firm out loud then in his head.
"Alright, now what are you going to do about it?" Quistis' voice was sisterly. Quistis always had an older sister appeal to her.
"I'm going to wait for her. She knows when she's scheduled to play at Loires when that time comes I'll be waiting for her."
"Why?" Selphie asked honestly
"Because," he told them all "If she comes I want her to find me."
"Squall all jackass nesses on my part set aside what is it about this girl?" Zell asked him "I mean we all like Rin don't get us wrong, but is she worth all this torment for you?"
"I can't understand it myself and I'm not going to ask you to, but I believe in her. It's funny, but my faith in her created some bond between us and I wouldn't break that bond for anything. To me that alone makes her worth it."
"Squall," Irvine said very hesitantly "I hate to ask but if that bond is so strong then why is she gone?"
Squall hated himself for not believing her, for not even listening to her. He broke the bond and that single thought made Squall not even able to look in the mirror.
As time slowly passed Squall began to wonder why he had gotten so mad at Rin in the first place. She was only sharing something to him who the hell was he to judge? He sure as hell didn't like it when she judged his families situation.
Maybe that's why he got so mad, but Squall didn't think so. Anything about Laguna he was pretty resilient about because he frankly didn't care. Then again maybe that was his problem.
By the end of the week Squall came to hate his very being and wanted nothing more then to see Rin again and tell her how wrong he was.
Like planned Squall and the rest went back to Loires. Rin wasn't there and Squall felt his heart sink. The hours passed and still there was no sign of Rin.
Even though the crowd at the bar was getting restless for a performance Squall's friends all sat by him patiently and quietly. They all knew what torment he was going through and the best thing they could do for him at the moment was just be with him.
Laguna gave them a free round of coffee for once Squall took something from his father, but he didn't say anything about it. He was still wrapped around one simple and plain fact, Rin wasn't coming.
* * * * *
Seifer trained Rin hard for a straight week, but yet it was the easiest he'd ever been on her. Maybe it was because he actually treated her like a person instead of an object.
Even though the pass week Rin had been so focused on training she couldn't help but to think of Squall. Actually outside of training that's all she thought about. He was always on her mind and she would get lost in time just thinking about him. Seifer actually had yelled at her more then a few times to stay focused.
She missed him terribly and having Seifer around didn't make things easier. He would flirt with her and mention his break up with Victoria, Rin could actually care less about his break up with Victoria, her heart was already set on someone else.
Her time of living with Quistis and being with Squall was the best time of her life. Rin found herself aching to go back to that life, to go back to Squall. By the end of the week she knew she couldn't she knew that things would never be the same again. The thought made her sick but she knew that this was something that she had to do. If that meant destroying a life with Squall.well.then that's just something she has to deal with.
By the end of the week Rin was ready. Her and Seifer where setting out that evening for Deling City. The two of them where going to celebrate their hard work at Loires.
Rin was about to step into the bar when she saw something that made her heart break. Squall along with everyone else where sitting at a table it seemed like they where waiting for something. It then dawned on her they where waiting for her. Today was the day that Squall had scheduled her to perform.he was waiting for her.
It took ever ounce of restraint she had not to run into Squall's arms. She turned from the bar and looked at Seifer. She defiantly didn't want Squall to see her with him. She goes to Seifer.
"Why don't we go straight to the train station?"
"Don't you want to stop and get a beer? We deserve one don't you think?"
"You know I'm really tired I just want to get on the train and relax. I mean there's still a long road ahead of us."
Seifer nods "Your right we'll come back once you're truly declared Princess Rinoa Caraway."
With a grateful smile from Rin the two of them walked passed the bar and made their way to the train station.
It was extremely hard for Rin to walk further and further away from Squall. Especially since she knew that right then might be the last time she ever saw him again, but in return with each step taking her father away it gave her a knew found strength and courage to embark on the road that was laid out for her.
Despite the encouragement that was swelling inside of her right now Rin's greatest worry at the moment was if she was going to hold out. As Rin thought this Squall came to mind he would have believed in her. He would say she could do this, despite how he felt about it she knew he believed that she could do it. That thought alone was the greatest strength that anyone could have given her and it was the thought that got her on the train for the start of her new beginning. Rin just wished he was there to begin it with her.
Things started to go down shit creek and Seifer knew it. Life with Victoria wasn't even as great as it use to be.
Raijin, Fujin and himself had started a search for a new girl, but the search was futile it was too late in the game to be looking for someone else.
Besides all that there was something else that was eating away at Seifer. With ever new girl he looked at he became more convinced that Rin was the real thing. What really got Seifer was the fact that he had the true Rinoa Caraway literally in his hands and he screwed that over.
Seifer might have been on the brink of depression if he wasn't so supremely confident that she would come back. There was no doubt in his mind that Rin would be coming back any day now bored to death of Squall and begging for forgiveness.
Unfortunately in an ironic turn of events Seifer was half right.
* * * * *
"Rin, Selphie and I are going shopping you sure you don't want to come?" Quistis asked her already half way out the door.
"Yeah Squall and I already have the day planned." Rin told her.
"Okay behave yourself," and with a wink the tall blond was out the door.
Rin finished getting ready then left for Squalls. The two of them had decided to go out for a picnic and Rin thought this might be when they.you know. Regardless she was excited.
Once she met up with him the two set off for the flower plains right on the outskirts of Balamb. Rin thought that the rock bluffs had to be the most beautiful place in the world, but she was mistaken. The rock bluffs where only the colors blue and grey the flower plains however, were a vast assortment of colors. When they laid their blanket down it felt like she was lying in a rainbow.
It was a wonderful picnic the birds sang out, the grass and flowers made an aroma that Rin couldn't place, but thought it was the sweetest thing she ever smelt.
Their day was coming to a close. Squall was on his back reading the newspaper Rin slowly crawled over to him sprawling herself over his chest. He smiled at her and gently started stroking her back Rin smiled back then looked up at the paper he was reading. On the front cover was an older man in rich clothing he wore a crown on the top of his head. Rin undoubtedly knew he had to be the king himself. It was funny that she never actually had seen a picture of his majesty considering that Seifer was trying to convince her that he, the king, was her father. Although as Rin looked closer she couldn't put her finger on it but there was something about that man.
It occurred to Rin that she never actually told Squall what Seifer thought she was. She was curious about what his opinion on the matter would be so she asked.
"What do you think about all this searching for a long lost princess?"
"I think it's sad that there's girls' out there trying to be someone that there not."
Rin was real quiet until out from no where Squall asks her "Rin would you sing for me?"
"What?"
"I remember catching you once singing to yourself. I thought it was the most angelic sound I ever heard."
"Oh stop it," Rin pouted thoroughly embarrassed.
Squall looks at her his face was intense "I got you a gig."
"What!?"
"I asked Laguna and he was thrilled about the idea. I know you'll knock the socks off everyman in that bar."
Rin didn't know what to say she was outraged and at the moment wasn't capable of words.
"It's a week from today."
Still Rin didn't say anything
"I know you'll be great."
"What the hell do you know!?"
Squall moves back from her shocked from her out burst.
"It was real sweet in the beginning when you thought I could be a singer, but now.dammit Squall stop making me things I'm not!"
"Rin, I believe in you. From the day I met you I believed in you and that's something that's going to last till the day I die." "Just stop it Squall I'm not a singer!"
"Then what are you?" he asked earnestly
".I don't know." Rin breaks down Squall goes to comfort her, but she pushes him away. With tears in her eyes she asked him.
"What would you say if I told you I think I'm Princess Rinoa Caraway?"
Squall would have laughed out loud if he hadn't seen the seriousness that engulfed her entire body.
"Are you telling me you think you're the lost princess?"
"I think I am?"
Rin goes into her past few months training with Seifer. Squall listens intently it seemed with every word that came out of her mouth made him grow angrier. Once she was finished Squall was completely beside himself.
"Rin, get that idea out of your head. Your Rin Heartilly don't ever let Seifer tell you otherwise."
"Squall, I know that Seifer was just using me, but he really believes that I'm the princess and.I do too."
Squall throws his hands violently in the air. "I can't believe your saying this! You do know what I do for a living? I stop con artist from using beautiful innocent girls from being used by people like Seifer!"
"I can't explain it Squall, but when I saw his picture," she points at the newspaper "I knew that I had seen him before and for the first time.I believed that I'm Rinoa Caraway."
With a deep, deep sigh Squall asks her "So what are you going to do about it?"
Surprisingly Rin doesn't even have to think about it "I want to meet my family."
"Rin," he pleads with her understanding that he was concerned "I know you've never known your family and it must be hard, but don't go making yourself a family that isn't yours."
"How dare you say that!?" Rin had never been so offended in all her life and coming from Squall made it a hundred times worse.
"You have no right talking to me about families! Just because you can put your family on hold and use them to bend to your own whims"-
Now she had done it. Her words made something inside Squall snap.
"You have no right to judge what you don't understand!"
"Neither do you!"
"Rin your right I don't understand why you would want to be Rinoa Caraway when Rin Heartilly is the most amazing person I know."
"Because I want my family"
"You have a family Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Zell.me."
She softens, but not for long "There your family I need my own!"
"But why a pretend one?"
"Does it occur to you that I'm not pretending? That maybe I am Princess Rinoa Caraway."
"No, because your Rin Heartilly!"
Not able to handle it any more she storms away.
"Where are you going?" Squall called after her.
"To the one person who believes in me and to who I really am"
She struck him and she was glad that she did. Rin didn't want Squall following her. She needed to sort things out and the only person who would be able to help her with that went by the name Seifer Almansy.
* * * * *
"Laguna, I'm not worried," Seifer addressed the distressed man.
"She'll come back to me," he winks at the bartender "they always do."
"What would you say if I told you I don't want her to?"
"Are you saying that?" inquired Seifer.
"Squall actually called me the other day granted it was about a business matter, but Rin's name did come up and I know he really cares for her. I think she really makes him happy I don't know if a fourth of 10 million gil is worth taking that away from him.
Seifer couldn't believe what he was hearing and it took great restraint to fight the urge of taking Laguna's head off with his gunblade.
"Laguna you're obviously not thinking the situation through. When you see Rin walk through that door," he points to the bar's entrance "You'll see you 2.5 million gil and forget all about Squall."
As if on cue Rin comes storming through the door. Her eyes were puffy and red as if she had been crying.
"I didn't forget," Laguna snarled, but Seifer choose to ignore his snide remark and instead walked up to the obviously distressed Rin. Putting on a concerned face Seifer stepped up to her she ran right into his chest then awkwardly jumps back.
"Se.Seifer," she said startled, but relieved.
"Rin, what are you doing back?" Rin ignored his forced concern her mind seemed to be set on something else.
"Seifer, do you really think I'm the princess?" she mumbled to him.
Seifer smirks "You know I do."
Rin seemed to be thinking about something really hard and Seifer thought it best just to let her concentrate. At least after several minutes she finally said something.
"Will you take me to his majesty.my father?"
He was always confident that she would come back to him, but he didn't for see her being so eager to get back to training.
Right then for the first time he truly knew that she was the real Rinoa Caraway. He always had thought she was and too convinced to think otherwise, but right then he knew.
He turned to her looking at her in entirely different light "We leave in one week," he told her casting all his other thoughts away and fixing his eyes for the first time on only the woman right in front of him.
* * * * *
The last thing he wanted was to make her run away, but Squall didn't know what he should have done. She thought she was the god damn princess.
He wanted to run after her, but something held him back. He once told Rin that she wasn't lost but only needed to find herself.well that's probably what she ran off to do and as much as Squall didn't want to admit it he knew that was something that she had to do herself. Then again he told her he always be there for her Squall was so confused that he found it hard to even simply think.
Wanting to get away from his thoughts Squall went back to his apartment where Zell and Irvine sat around the table playing cards.
"Why are you home so early?" Zell asked and then in a pretend baby voice he whimpered "Did you and Rin get into a fight?"
The young mercenary noticed Squall's gloomy expression and asked seriously.
"What happened?"
Squall went through the whole story with his two friends. They were quick o just dismiss Rin off as insane.
"Do you actually want to be with someone who thinks she's Princess Rinoa Caraway?" Zell asked him laughing at the very idea.
"You know how I feel for the girl."
"But that was before you knew who she thought she was," Zell said persistently.
"I agree with Zell for once. I don't care how great she is in the sac you don't want someone with baggage like that."
Squall punches Irvine hard in the shoulder "Knock it off both of you," both Zell and Irvine go shamefully quiet. "I.I kinda believe her and any doubt that still remains is sort of washed away by how much I care for her."
"Then why did you let her go?" said a voice from the door. It was Quistis she was with Selphie the two had shopping bags in hand. The two must have been just returning from their shopping expedition.
"It.it was something that I had to let her do," he told her his voice sounding less firm out loud then in his head.
"Alright, now what are you going to do about it?" Quistis' voice was sisterly. Quistis always had an older sister appeal to her.
"I'm going to wait for her. She knows when she's scheduled to play at Loires when that time comes I'll be waiting for her."
"Why?" Selphie asked honestly
"Because," he told them all "If she comes I want her to find me."
"Squall all jackass nesses on my part set aside what is it about this girl?" Zell asked him "I mean we all like Rin don't get us wrong, but is she worth all this torment for you?"
"I can't understand it myself and I'm not going to ask you to, but I believe in her. It's funny, but my faith in her created some bond between us and I wouldn't break that bond for anything. To me that alone makes her worth it."
"Squall," Irvine said very hesitantly "I hate to ask but if that bond is so strong then why is she gone?"
Squall hated himself for not believing her, for not even listening to her. He broke the bond and that single thought made Squall not even able to look in the mirror.
As time slowly passed Squall began to wonder why he had gotten so mad at Rin in the first place. She was only sharing something to him who the hell was he to judge? He sure as hell didn't like it when she judged his families situation.
Maybe that's why he got so mad, but Squall didn't think so. Anything about Laguna he was pretty resilient about because he frankly didn't care. Then again maybe that was his problem.
By the end of the week Squall came to hate his very being and wanted nothing more then to see Rin again and tell her how wrong he was.
Like planned Squall and the rest went back to Loires. Rin wasn't there and Squall felt his heart sink. The hours passed and still there was no sign of Rin.
Even though the crowd at the bar was getting restless for a performance Squall's friends all sat by him patiently and quietly. They all knew what torment he was going through and the best thing they could do for him at the moment was just be with him.
Laguna gave them a free round of coffee for once Squall took something from his father, but he didn't say anything about it. He was still wrapped around one simple and plain fact, Rin wasn't coming.
* * * * *
Seifer trained Rin hard for a straight week, but yet it was the easiest he'd ever been on her. Maybe it was because he actually treated her like a person instead of an object.
Even though the pass week Rin had been so focused on training she couldn't help but to think of Squall. Actually outside of training that's all she thought about. He was always on her mind and she would get lost in time just thinking about him. Seifer actually had yelled at her more then a few times to stay focused.
She missed him terribly and having Seifer around didn't make things easier. He would flirt with her and mention his break up with Victoria, Rin could actually care less about his break up with Victoria, her heart was already set on someone else.
Her time of living with Quistis and being with Squall was the best time of her life. Rin found herself aching to go back to that life, to go back to Squall. By the end of the week she knew she couldn't she knew that things would never be the same again. The thought made her sick but she knew that this was something that she had to do. If that meant destroying a life with Squall.well.then that's just something she has to deal with.
By the end of the week Rin was ready. Her and Seifer where setting out that evening for Deling City. The two of them where going to celebrate their hard work at Loires.
Rin was about to step into the bar when she saw something that made her heart break. Squall along with everyone else where sitting at a table it seemed like they where waiting for something. It then dawned on her they where waiting for her. Today was the day that Squall had scheduled her to perform.he was waiting for her.
It took ever ounce of restraint she had not to run into Squall's arms. She turned from the bar and looked at Seifer. She defiantly didn't want Squall to see her with him. She goes to Seifer.
"Why don't we go straight to the train station?"
"Don't you want to stop and get a beer? We deserve one don't you think?"
"You know I'm really tired I just want to get on the train and relax. I mean there's still a long road ahead of us."
Seifer nods "Your right we'll come back once you're truly declared Princess Rinoa Caraway."
With a grateful smile from Rin the two of them walked passed the bar and made their way to the train station.
It was extremely hard for Rin to walk further and further away from Squall. Especially since she knew that right then might be the last time she ever saw him again, but in return with each step taking her father away it gave her a knew found strength and courage to embark on the road that was laid out for her.
Despite the encouragement that was swelling inside of her right now Rin's greatest worry at the moment was if she was going to hold out. As Rin thought this Squall came to mind he would have believed in her. He would say she could do this, despite how he felt about it she knew he believed that she could do it. That thought alone was the greatest strength that anyone could have given her and it was the thought that got her on the train for the start of her new beginning. Rin just wished he was there to begin it with her.