Chapter 4
Krillin was in deep thought .still. "Honey," said 18, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Get some sleep. You've been thinking too hard. For twelve straight hours!" Krillin yawned, stretching his arms. "Okay, 18, okay." he said, staring straight at the television. "Hey, 18. get a load of this." he said. The Adult Swim television warning started up again in a robotic voice. "Warning. The following content is not suitable for children and may contain intense violence, sexual situations, coarse language and suggestive dialogue." "And.?" uttered 18, not visibly impressed. "No, wait for it!" protested Krillin. "Wait for it." A few bullet shots sounded and Outlaw Star started its little theme song. The little black TV rating box in the top left corner read as plain as day-Y7. 18 blinked. "Why are you watching that gay Outlaw Star cartoon?" she said, and then walked off to bed. "Ignorant." muttered Krillin. "The cactus.it's controlling my brain!" the television yelled at him. The screen faded out of Krillin's vision. Everything was black. "What? Where am I?" Krill in asked to no one in particular. "Lissen up, foo, dis is yo dream sequence!" "What the heck are you?!" cried Krillin angrily. There appeared to be a small chipmunk in front of him, but it looked deformed somehow. "I is the back-leg-less Chipmunk, ya fool!" "Why are you talking like a gangster?" said Krillin suspiciously. The rodent snuffled, twitching its whiskers. "Shut up foo, afore I slap ya upside the head. You wanna know what dem dere turkeys do upside down?" "Um.yes..." said Krillin. "When you say it that way." "Well, dem dere turkeys when they are upside-diggy-down, dey is. gobbling up." Back-Leg-Less squirrel grinned, his buckteeth showing. "Biyotch." Krillin woke up to an old Boomerang cartoon. The VCR clock read 3:12. He stumbled to the tote on the table and opened it. The entire house was silent except for the television, where a blue dog sang "Oh my darlin' Clementine" in muted tones. The radioactive glow washed orange on Krillin's face .The message showed again, pulsing in jagged orange letters like lightning bolts. 'What does a turkey do when it flies upside down?" "It gobbles up." uttered Krillin, barely whispering. A period of silence. Then a click. "Password confirmed," came Dende's voice. It sounded like it came from everywhere at once and yet from nowhere at all at the same time. Or maybe Krillin just needed more sleep. He also thought he saw hazy wisps of cotton on the edge of his vision, which couldn't be very good. "This is God saying have a nice day." Krillin blinked. "Dende is very odd." A flash of light filled the house, blinding him momentarily. AGH.OH DAMMIT, came an all-too-familiar voice. "Shen Long!" cried Krillin. "Hey, buddy! Long time no see!" he spouted estatically. OH. IT'S YOU, THAT BALD GUY AGAIN. YOU STUPID LOSER! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SUMMON DRAGONS OUTSIDE? LOOK, I'M FREAKING SUFFOCATING HERE! [That's like, what, the fifth time I've been called a loser TODAY?] thought Krillin [That's it, shoot myself in the mouth. It's not worth living anymore.] WELL, DO YOU HAVE A WISH OR DID YOU JUST SUMMON ME TO PISS ME OFF? CUZ YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB. "uh." mumbled Krillin. "Too early in the morning for this kind of stuff." he muttered timidly. Some thought was in the back of his head.something about Bulma.and a wish. oh well, it probably didn't matter. "Er.I wish for." Krillin paused. "Eh.I haven't gotten that far yet." YOU LOSER! GRAAAAH!!! Cried Shen Long. Assorted pieces of plaster fell. White dust clouds formed. "Uh." coughed Krillin. "I wish I wasn't such a loser?" Shen Long blinked his fiery glowing eyes. BE MORE SPECIFIC. "I wish I was cool!" cried Krillin. AS YOU WISH, said Shen Long, chuckling. LOSER. A flash of light rocked through Krillin's house. Seven yellow balls exploded out through the walls, streaking through the black night's sky. Krillin smiled. "18's gonna kill me. This room is trashed." He kicked a piece of plaster. "Well, better be off to bed."
Krillin was in deep thought .still. "Honey," said 18, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Get some sleep. You've been thinking too hard. For twelve straight hours!" Krillin yawned, stretching his arms. "Okay, 18, okay." he said, staring straight at the television. "Hey, 18. get a load of this." he said. The Adult Swim television warning started up again in a robotic voice. "Warning. The following content is not suitable for children and may contain intense violence, sexual situations, coarse language and suggestive dialogue." "And.?" uttered 18, not visibly impressed. "No, wait for it!" protested Krillin. "Wait for it." A few bullet shots sounded and Outlaw Star started its little theme song. The little black TV rating box in the top left corner read as plain as day-Y7. 18 blinked. "Why are you watching that gay Outlaw Star cartoon?" she said, and then walked off to bed. "Ignorant." muttered Krillin. "The cactus.it's controlling my brain!" the television yelled at him. The screen faded out of Krillin's vision. Everything was black. "What? Where am I?" Krill in asked to no one in particular. "Lissen up, foo, dis is yo dream sequence!" "What the heck are you?!" cried Krillin angrily. There appeared to be a small chipmunk in front of him, but it looked deformed somehow. "I is the back-leg-less Chipmunk, ya fool!" "Why are you talking like a gangster?" said Krillin suspiciously. The rodent snuffled, twitching its whiskers. "Shut up foo, afore I slap ya upside the head. You wanna know what dem dere turkeys do upside down?" "Um.yes..." said Krillin. "When you say it that way." "Well, dem dere turkeys when they are upside-diggy-down, dey is. gobbling up." Back-Leg-Less squirrel grinned, his buckteeth showing. "Biyotch." Krillin woke up to an old Boomerang cartoon. The VCR clock read 3:12. He stumbled to the tote on the table and opened it. The entire house was silent except for the television, where a blue dog sang "Oh my darlin' Clementine" in muted tones. The radioactive glow washed orange on Krillin's face .The message showed again, pulsing in jagged orange letters like lightning bolts. 'What does a turkey do when it flies upside down?" "It gobbles up." uttered Krillin, barely whispering. A period of silence. Then a click. "Password confirmed," came Dende's voice. It sounded like it came from everywhere at once and yet from nowhere at all at the same time. Or maybe Krillin just needed more sleep. He also thought he saw hazy wisps of cotton on the edge of his vision, which couldn't be very good. "This is God saying have a nice day." Krillin blinked. "Dende is very odd." A flash of light filled the house, blinding him momentarily. AGH.OH DAMMIT, came an all-too-familiar voice. "Shen Long!" cried Krillin. "Hey, buddy! Long time no see!" he spouted estatically. OH. IT'S YOU, THAT BALD GUY AGAIN. YOU STUPID LOSER! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SUMMON DRAGONS OUTSIDE? LOOK, I'M FREAKING SUFFOCATING HERE! [That's like, what, the fifth time I've been called a loser TODAY?] thought Krillin [That's it, shoot myself in the mouth. It's not worth living anymore.] WELL, DO YOU HAVE A WISH OR DID YOU JUST SUMMON ME TO PISS ME OFF? CUZ YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB. "uh." mumbled Krillin. "Too early in the morning for this kind of stuff." he muttered timidly. Some thought was in the back of his head.something about Bulma.and a wish. oh well, it probably didn't matter. "Er.I wish for." Krillin paused. "Eh.I haven't gotten that far yet." YOU LOSER! GRAAAAH!!! Cried Shen Long. Assorted pieces of plaster fell. White dust clouds formed. "Uh." coughed Krillin. "I wish I wasn't such a loser?" Shen Long blinked his fiery glowing eyes. BE MORE SPECIFIC. "I wish I was cool!" cried Krillin. AS YOU WISH, said Shen Long, chuckling. LOSER. A flash of light rocked through Krillin's house. Seven yellow balls exploded out through the walls, streaking through the black night's sky. Krillin smiled. "18's gonna kill me. This room is trashed." He kicked a piece of plaster. "Well, better be off to bed."