It had taken him six hours of solid research to come up with a suitable formula to reverse the effects of the cologne. Then with the help of Cecilia Reyes it took just two hours to prepare the antidote. Firstly he decided to test it on himself and in so doing discovered a minor side effect. The sneezing fit incapacitated him for fully five minutes and he sneezed so ferociously that he was convinced all his fur was going to be blown off.
"Thank you for the handkerchief Cecilia. Now please remove your mask and let's see if it works."
Cecilia did so and then immediately went to kiss Hank on the cheek. He sighed heavily and looked thoroughly dejected, obviously all that hard work had been for nothing. Then she smiled and gave him thumbs up sign.
"It worked Hank. It was just you looked so cute all sad and vulnerable like that that I just couldn't resist the urge to kiss you."
"Hmm I suspect the other X-Women may not be able to resist the urge to strangle me. Still now we know that it works we'd better start administering the antidote right away."
First of all to arrive was Remy LeBeau looking rather more subdued than usual. It seemed that he had had far too much of a good thing really, the added effects of the cologne to his already preternatural charm proving as devastating as Jubilee on a sugar high. Now he was happy to receive the antidote since when it all came down to it, he needed no help in attracting women, what he really needed was a foolproof method of doing so without Rogue noticing.
"Remy would like to say dat dis has taught him one t'ing. From now on Remy swear dat he will be a one woman man."
"Ah think ah heard that all before yah know sugah. Ah'm going tah be keeping a close eye on y'all."
The Cajun nodded weakly and left the room. Indeed he did his best to live up to his promise and he resisted temptation for three hours before flirting with Storm. Rogue turned towards Hank and shook her head at him; white streak bobbing and she waved a hand at him as if in disbelief.
"Ah really don't know what we're going tah do with that curiosity of yours Hank. Y'all really managed tah do it this time and ah'm sure Xavier is going tah have a stroke when he gets back from his conference and finds what yah little experiment caused. Whatever are we going tah do with yah huh?"
"You don't seem overly angry Rogue."
"Ah know yah didn't mean tah cause any harm Hank but ah think y'all in big trouble with Jean and if yah want mah advice yah better stay out of her way sugah."
Scott was next and Hank noticed that he seemed even more tense than normal. There was a rather alarming tic in his left cheek and his hands wouldn't seem to stop trembling. After the antidote had been given he flung his arms around Hank hugging him close and sobbing hysterically for long minutes. Hank made soothing noises and patted him gently on the head in what he hoped was a reassuring fashion. Eventually Cyclops stopped his blubbering and lip trembling spoke in a barely audible whisper.
"Thanks to you Hank I'm going to need psychiatric treatment for months. I think I'm going to be scarred for life by this."
He left without saying another word. Out in the corridor a cheerful voice told Scott that he looked as though he could use another hug. There was a high pitched hysterical scream as Scott ran for his life. Then a smirking Jubilee entered the infirmary with the tame ferals Wolverine and Sabretooth following her like devoted puppies.
"What do you think we ought to do with Creed Hank? He's going to be awfully mean when he comes out of this, I don't think he'll forgive us for making him into a pussy cat."
"I think it would be safest to just take him in the Blackbird and release him a few hundred miles away. The cologne will wear off after a few days and he will be back to his usual ferocious self. As for Logan just bring him here and we'll get him back to his usual feisty self. Best to get Creed away since Logan is liable to attack him as soon as the cologne wears off."
A minute later there was the familiar sound as Logan popped his claws, two on either side of Hank's neck and the middle claw just lightly touching his tender throat. The hazel eyes glared menacingly at him but Logan didn't seem particularly angry.
"I'd like ta thank ya fer making me feel completely at peace fer the first time in my life Hank. However if ya ever try ta pull anything like that again I'll give ya a taste of my claws. Are ya clear on that bub?"
"Crystal clear my fine feral friend, please take your claws away. Please Logan, I promise never ever to let my curiosity get the better of me again. I swear it Logan, really I do," pleaded Hank in a rather high voice. Logan finally relented and retracted his claws.
"See that ya do Hank and just remember what curiosity did ta the cat."
Bobby on the other hand thanked Hank enthusiastically after the antidote was given to him. Admittedly he had been terrified at the time but he never would have gotten the chance to be the object of affection for Emma, Rogue, although Mystique's attentions were perhaps not quite as welcome. Still he had decided that there was really only one woman for him.
"I think I'll stick with Jubilee from now on Hank. At least she's only really dangerous when she's had too much sugar or if she gets her hand on your credit card."
"Plus she's probably the only woman here who doesn't think you're too immature for her old friend."
After this was done Hank got down to some serious thinking. Storm and Jean Grey had not been seen for quite a while although Jubilee had heard that they were discussing whether it would be hot waxing strips or a liberal dosing of Nair for him. They had definitely agreed that he was going to be the one who would have to explain it all to Xavier and Jean had also been pushing for "sterner reprimands". All in all he didn't think it would be too healthy for him to be seen around here, at least for the next few weeks. Still at least Logan had spared his life this time and after he had agreed to pay the bill for Scott's anti-depressants he had forgiven him too. First he decided to tell Bobby and Jubilee about his decision.
"I'm going to miss you fur-ball," sighed Bobby.
"Yeah I mean I'll only have one man who I can wrap around my little finger from now on," added Jubilee.
"Oh I assure you my friends that I'll be back before you know it since you can't keep a bouncing blue beast down for long. I just feel that since absence makes the heart grow fonder a few weeks away ought to be enough for Jean Grey to forgive me. Especially when she finds that I've left her a new and improved red hair dye for her."
He turned to Bobby and hugged him tightly nearly cracking his ribs.
"My cryogenic companion, keep up the pranks."
Jubilee threw her arms around Hank's neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Bye fuzz-ball, does this mean that while you're gone I get to eat all the Twinkies around here?"
"Yes I believe it does Jubilee."
"Yahoo!"
Hank gave them one last smile and went to his room to pack his belongings. As he did so he couldn't help but notice a certain sinister presence and turning he wasn't entirely surprised to find himself staring into the burning red eyes of Nathaniel Essex. For once Sinister's dead white skin seemed almost pink since he was flushed with rage and he was giving a growl worthy of Logan.
"I swear Henry Philip McCoy that for this infamy you will burn! So swears Sinister!" snarled Essex before teleporting back to his lair.
"So what else is new," sighed Hank as he shrugged his shoulders. Then someone poked him in the ribs and he turned to see Mystique also livid with rage.
"You are dead meat Beast," she hissed before stalking off with as much wounded dignity as she could muster.
"Well Raven you'll have to get in line behind Sinister, Jean and Creed."
Shaking his head and whistling a Britney Spears song Hank set off to find the only other woman who didn't want a piece of his furry blue hide. Finding Cecilia in the lounge he settled down on the sofa with a heavy sigh trying his best to look thoroughly dejected so of course she tickled him until he begged for mercy. Plopping herself on the arm of the sofa she gently scratched the soft blue fur on his arm and gave him her most charming smile.
"Well Hank have you given any more thought to joining me in this little medical research project? I mean it will be a whole month away so it'll give time for the dust to settle and you won't be lonely since you'll be with me."
"Indubitably my dear and I am pleased to affirm that beneath the plush blue fur my heart is bounding with joy at the prospect. I just have one final conclusion from our little adventure?"
"Oh and what would that be Hank?"
"Cecilia, I love you."
"I love you too Hank."
They kissed.
"You know Hank, we've got a few hours to kill before we need to go and catch the plane," whispered Cecilia as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Stars and garters, I was thinking exactly the same thing," he exclaimed with a wink and a grin.
Meanwhile another Beast was also feeling rather pleased with himself. Now he had perfected and improved on the formula he could hardly wait to try it out. First though he was going to have a little fun.
McCoy grinned and admired his reflection as he finished adjusting his tuxedo. With fur brushed to perfection and hair neatly groomed he looked good. Now with the addition of a little cologne he was sure to be a big hit with the ladies. After all even mad scientists deserved a little fun and all work and no play made McCoy a dull Dark Beast.
"Well McCoy my boy we are going to have fun tonight!"
Then he gave a savage fang filled grin and his yellow eyes glinted wickedly.
"Oh and Hank the trouble you have already been in will be as nothing compared to the diabolical and devious uses to which I shall put this "Eau de Beast". Suffice to say that they don't call me Dark Beast for nothing! Oh Hank I can almost pity you but unfortunately I'll be laughing too hard at the havoc I cause," purred Dark Beast.
With that he allowed himself a last chuckle secure in the knowledge that the true threat of "Eau de Beast" had only just begun.