Author's Note: Hummers, I do not have much to say for my note this
chapter. I am skipping the weekend and jumping right into Monday. I hope
no one minds the time warp ^_~ Oh, and I would like to apologize in advance
for any misspelling of names, often if it is over three letters long, I
cannot spell names well to save my life. Sorry!
Disclaimer: I do now own 'Invader Zim'. In this chapter, there will be some references and adaptation from some of Act 3 Scene 2 of 'As You Like It', which William Shakespeare wrote, and not me. As a final note, I do not own sticky notes, someone else does! I own nothing at all, yay me! Well, maybe Lex, but it is not like I am going to put a trademark on her or anything. I am too lowly humble for that. I am wasting valuable fiction space!
A Little Homecoming Doom
In the Membrane household, a cooked piece of bread popped from the toaster. Gaz snatched the toast and prepared to consume it for breakfast. Monday morning had arrived! Dib gallantly strode into the kitchen with what looked like a giant and black tumor on his head. "Morning, Gaz," he greeted as he dove his head into the refrigerator for some bread.
The sibling grunted in response, then added, "What is that growth on your head?"
Confused, Dib straightened his posture and reached a hand to his head to inspect for this 'growth'. "Oh," he said with relief, "you mean my hat for Hatsy day."
Gaz gave a small snort, "if that is what you want to call it."
Without losing a beat, Dib continued to talk about his headgear. "I made it myself, it took me all weekend! I have equipped it with the alien catching gear that I ordered from Crop Circles Magazine," he gloated. "I -know- I will be able to expose Zim with this," he beamed.
"You spent an entire weekend working on that?" in one of those judging moments, she opened an eye from her squint to peer at her brother.
"Yes, well," he stammered. He supposed he could not have expected a shower of praise from Gaz, but at the same time he did not expect such an unenthusiastic reaction. Fortunately for Dib and his lack of articulation, the doorbell rang. "I will get it," he offered. He did not feel as fortunate when he opened the front door to see two of the Varsity football players looming over him, Vasquez and Russel. "Eep," he squeaked as the athletes presented some rather disturbing items, revealing the purpose of their visit.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
"Run Zim, run Zim, run Zim, run," an Invader panted as he raced down the hall of lockers at skool. Zim had about another half of an hour before another soul would arrive at the building, which gave him plenty of time.
"Here is good," he decided as he jumped next to a wall and slapped a sticky note with writing onto the structure. He ran to the adjacent wall and leapt up and stuck another note onto that wall. "If this is not love, I do not know what is," he stated to himself as he smacked another note to another wall of the skool. He paused for a second and looked at the ceiling above the main intersection of the skool hallway. He sprung up and down a few times to fruitlessly place another note onto the roof of the center of the building. "Daft," he muttered to himself as he released the spider-like legs from his pack and used them to boost him to the top of the intersection.
"Let these lockers be my tongue!" he released a loud battle cry and continued to plant sticky notes in random and frequent places of the High Skool.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
"Stupid, stupid," Dib repeatedly muttered to himself. "Stupid me, now that I mentioned dates at the Homecoming Dance, I have to find one or I will look incredibly dense," he murmured in disdain. "Stupid Zim, I will reveal him," he patted the tumor-like hat on his head.
The Membrane children were making their way to skool, and while Gaz was content playing her Gameslave on the way, Dib was clearly disgruntled.
"Stupid football players," garbled as he glared at the sidewalk he was about to walk on. "And stupid pantyhose!" he roared as he squirmed uncomfortably in his step.
It was the closest that Gaz had ever come to laughing like a maniac.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Upon reaching the Skool building, Gaz and Dib received some rather funny looks and snickers. Neither of them was really surprised, Dib felt like a living target that morning. However, when one girl whispered to another, "wow, that is Gaz, right there," the Membrane daughter was a little confused. Dib looked like a fool and people were only noticing her?
'What is wrong with everyone?' Gaz inwardly asked herself. She was wearing a purple sequined hat, but that was hardly reason to make her stand out; there were students who were sporting some incredibly bizarre headwear.
"Hey, look over there," Dib pointed to a bright green square on a wall. "Why are there so many sticky notes around here?" he asked no one in particular as he noted the numerous green notes spread on the walls. He hopped underneath one of them and plucked a note from its home above a locker. Dib quickly skimmed the paper and looked up to grin at his sister. "It looks like you have an admirer," he smirked.
His sister snatched the note from his grasp and read it aloud.
"From the east to western Ind, Gaz, a jewel, leaves them behind. If all fine pictures are lined, Gaz's looks leave them behind. No girls ever bear my mind, Gaz will leave them all behind."
Gaz stared at the sticky note in confusion, and finally spoke, "idiotic."
"Really," Dib agreed. Gaz shot him a menacing look, one that told him to just head to class and let her be. Unaware of this, Dib glanced over his sister's shoulder at the poor and pathetic poem and added, "Idiotic or not, I wonder who wrote this."
With impeccable timing, Zim marched to the siblings, unable to remove a victorious smile from his mouth. "Good morning, Gaz," he confidently greeted the girl. She almost pitied his ignorance. "Now that I have expressed my truly honest love, would you like to be my date for the Homecoming Dance?" he elatedly grinned.
"Heh," she curtly laughed at the alien and proceeded to walk to her first class.
Zim determinedly watched Gaz leave, starting to create new ways of convincing her to be his date. "So, where is you hat, Zim?" Dib leered at the distracted Invader.
"Eh?" he absent-mindedly asked as he first recognized that Dib was standing next to him. "Oh, I have brought my hat," he evilly grinned, "and it is much hattier that tumor on your enormous head."
"It is -not- a tumor!" he snapped. "And my head is -not- big!" he finally retorted. "I am a normal and average kid!" he exclaimed.
Zim snorted as he stepped back and surveyed the human boy. It was common knowledge that he had a gigantic head, and today he was wearing a hat that looked more like a swelling of that head. Besides that, he was wearing the most outrageous clothes the alien had ever seen a being wear. Dib was sporting a blue long-sleeved shirt with a yellow tank top over it with the word "sweet" printed on it in multiple bright colors. The tops were adorned with a reddish-pink dance skirt and leopard-printed tights. Zim could not help but snigger when he saw that his amusing outfit was completed with pink sequined high-heeled shoes.
Dib saw Zim snickering at him and frowned. "Someone tagged me, okay?" he defensively cried.
"Tagged?" Zim asked between fits of chuckling to himself.
"Yes, tagged," Dib sighed as he realized that he would have to explain. "Two upperclassmen came to my house today and made me wear these clothes. They are playing a joke with me, okay? I would not normally dress like this! I am just relieved that they forgot to bring make-up," he clarified in an irritated tone.
"Sure," Zim grinned at the boy's expense.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Mr. Bitters lovingly stroked the head of his favorite stuffed pig. "Well, Piggles, I have to start the class now," he softly spoke to the toy. He looked at the class, and observed that about five of the thirty students were wearing hats, and the Dib-student was wearing quite an amazing ensemble.
"Well, children," he began, "fortunately for you, the Skool board foresaw your lack of skool spirit." He opened a box next to his desk and continued to talk, "and they have provided these Hatsy Day hats for you to wear." He moved around the class and passed hats to all the students who were not wearing one already.
"No!" Dib objected. "You cannot give skool hats! It is a horrible scheme, I swear!"
"Kid," Mr. Bitters turned towards the boy, "no one believed you Friday, and no one will believe you today." Dib cringed at the teacher's bluntness.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Dib heaved a piteous sigh. Monday sure was horrible this week. First those cruel football players had to tag him. Then people bothered him about his hat, which was a complete failure, when he tried to use the machinery in it against Zim; it malfunctioned, leaving him with an ugly lump on his head. No one listened to him when he warned everyone about the skool hats. Gaz was being extra grumpy because of the attention she was receiving from Zim's sticky notes. To add to the woeful day, lunch was more gross than usual, a Homecoming special.
"Yie!" a girl across the cafeteria shrieked. Dib glanced from his lunch to the screaming girl. She was holding her head and blindly stumbling around the table she was sitting at moments ago. "It is stuck!" she shrieked, and when Dib saw that she was wearing one of the skool's hats, he did not hesitate to grab a small device from his book bag and dash from his location in the room to where she was staggering. Unfortunately, on his way to where she was panicking, he repeatedly tripped over the lady's shoes he was wearing, and by the time he reached her, she appeared to be on the verge of fainting.
"Okay, I am here to help you," Dib comforted, but the girl collapsed into his arms. He placed the gadget he had carried and placed it on the bottom edge of her hat. As she slipped into unconsciousness, Dib then went through such a complex technical process so complex that not even the author knew quite what he was doing. The machine started to fulfill a task on its own, and Dib took the time to recognize whom he was helping. The paranormal boy could remember her being in some of his classes, but the two never tried to get to know each other. She had hair of an extremely dark shade green, and when her eyes were open, they were a chocolate brown.
Suddenly, several more students in skool hats jumped from their seats and shouted in the same way that the girl had done earlier. Within seconds, about eighty percent of the student population was running about in a blind frenzy. One boy knocked the device off of the hat that the girl Dib was trying to help was wearing. "Shrike," he cursed under his breath. "I have to find Gaz," he determined.
Dib stood straight and lifted the girl into his arms. He hurried through the cafeteria, searching for his sister. "Back you horrible worm-babies!" Zim threatened as he swung a baguette at any student who came near him. Dib could perceive Gaz standing behind the alien, amazingly playing her Gameslave and muttering about how none of the chaos had better affect her gaming.
Dib made his way to the pair, while students were noticeably slowing their movements, appearing ready to give way to passing out. "Zim!" Dib called as he approached the defensive alien. Zim looked at Dib as the human advanced, and the Invader smacked Dib on the top of his head with the loaf. "Hey, this is serious," Dib scolded. "I need to help this girl before something happens to her. I tried to free her from the hat, but since I was disrupted, something serious could happen."
"What is wrong with the hats?" Zim eyed the human.
Dib perked a bit at the question, "as I have been trying to tell you all, the skool hats are machines. The skool is using the hats to control unsuspecting students into submission for paranormal activities. We need to free these students before the skool manipulates them, and I need to help this girl here!"
"That sounds like the stupid plot attempt of a piece of fiction," Gaz muttered.
"Indeed. One that was written my some asinine authoress who wants to corrupt innocent readers with accounts of Homecoming nonsense," Zim agreed. That hits way too close to home!
Dib considered this. "Yes, I suppose so...nevertheless, we need to do something."
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
For the first time in a very long while, Lex was absolutely petrified. She was lost in a strange void in which she was completely flummoxed. When she tried to move her arm to look at her hand, the limb felt miles away yet attached to her body at the same time. She had no idea when her eyes were open and when they were closed; for she could feel nothing and either way the world was filled with the same empty darkness.
"You," a strong voice authoritatively commanded. "You must obey," the noise spoke until a soft fizzing interrupted it. In a slightly lighter tone, it continued, "you must obey the duck!"
A high-pitched voice squeaked, "Would you like to buy a duck?"
The first one replied, "Does it quack?"
Lex could sense the higher quality of sound address her. "Does it quack?"
"Yes, it quacks," she uneasily replied. She was surprised at how distant her own speech appeared. She could feel that she was speaking, yet her voice sounded like it was being spoken a great distance above her.
The shrill voice answered the original one, "yes, it quacks."
"Does it have orange feathers?" the deeper voice inquired.
"Does it have orange feathers?" the screechy voice demanded from Lex once again.
"No, it does not have orange feathers." A smile crept across her imperceptible lips, "it has purple feathers with blue stripes."
The lighter voice squealed in excitement and focused on the original one, "no, it has purple feathers with blue stripes."
The first voice paused for a short while and appeared to think about the negotiation. "Can it hug a --?" the question was cut-off by a fizzing noise. This time the sizzling sound was louder and fiercer than the previous.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Lex opened her eyes to the face of a certain paranormal devotee with a swelling of fabric on his head. "Oh good," the boy indulged in a relieved smile. "Are you all right?"
Lex shakily nodded her head. "Yes, I think so."
"What happened?" Dib asked. "I mean, when you were," he began to stutter, "uhm, you know..." A faint blush rushed to his cheeks. 'Why can I not speak?' Dib mentally asked himself.
"In my head?" the emerald-haired girl offered. It was Dib's turn to silently nod. She lowered her eyelids halfway over her chocolate-brown pupils, "duck haggling."
"Eh?"
"Never mind. What happened-," she faltered, "ha-ppened o-out here?" she stammered. 'What is wrong with my tongue?' Lex questioned herself in her head.
"Can an explanation wait for later?" Zim barged into the uneasy moment. "I just want to be done with this," he grumbled.
"Why is that Zim? Can you not stand helping the -human- race?" Dib regained the confidence in his voice when he taunted the Invader.
"I only did it because I cannot conquer senseless stink-beasts!" he snapped, "Those are of no use to me. I need my minions to be capable," he defended. "Besides," he grinned, "Gaz is a human."
Dib glared at the alien, "Gaz cannot and will not date you."
"What makes you so sure of that, worm-baby?"
"Excuse me!" Lex cut in.
"Oh, Zim here is an alien," Dib stated factually.
Lex blinked and Zim huffed. "I am a normal infantile primate-being!" he claimed.
"Anyway," Lex pleaded, "I still do not know where we are or what is going on. Would someone like to explain?"
"In a seed's crust, the skool tried to brainwash children with hats. We," Zim grinned evilly, "-convinced- the principal to accessing us to the core of the hat's power and stopped further indoctrination of the students. Dib saved you personally with his inferior huma-I mean, his inferior tool," Zim briskly explained. "We are currently underneath the skool building where more of the deprogramming occurred. Satisfied?"
Lex blinked a few more times then exclaimed, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
"Sounds like a moronically cheesy tall-tale, eh?" Dib asked. Lex enthusiastically nodded her head in agreement.
"Now, let us go," Zim ordered. "Gaz is not here, and I am wasting my time in the ground of the skool."
"Right," Dib raised an eyebrow at Zim. "Well, technically the skool day is over, and everyone is okay. I guess that means we can go home now."
"What an incredibly ridiculous end to Hatsy day," Lex grumped.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Hello hello! I apologize for the corny-ness of the ending of this chapter. I wanted to let Dib be openly correct about something. Unfortunately, it has turned out pretty inane. Ah well, such is life!
As for Lex, I do not want to leave Dib all alone for this story, so I am giving him a romantic interest. Oh-hoo, I sure hope no Dib-fans hate me for this. Lex and her personality are going to be a product of my imagination, so I hope everyone is okay with that!
Let me see, I think that is all I have to say for now. I hope no one is too upset with me for the silly hat plot here, I am sure the next chapter will be more bearable. Thank you for reading so far! Huggles for you! ^_^
Disclaimer: I do now own 'Invader Zim'. In this chapter, there will be some references and adaptation from some of Act 3 Scene 2 of 'As You Like It', which William Shakespeare wrote, and not me. As a final note, I do not own sticky notes, someone else does! I own nothing at all, yay me! Well, maybe Lex, but it is not like I am going to put a trademark on her or anything. I am too lowly humble for that. I am wasting valuable fiction space!
A Little Homecoming Doom
In the Membrane household, a cooked piece of bread popped from the toaster. Gaz snatched the toast and prepared to consume it for breakfast. Monday morning had arrived! Dib gallantly strode into the kitchen with what looked like a giant and black tumor on his head. "Morning, Gaz," he greeted as he dove his head into the refrigerator for some bread.
The sibling grunted in response, then added, "What is that growth on your head?"
Confused, Dib straightened his posture and reached a hand to his head to inspect for this 'growth'. "Oh," he said with relief, "you mean my hat for Hatsy day."
Gaz gave a small snort, "if that is what you want to call it."
Without losing a beat, Dib continued to talk about his headgear. "I made it myself, it took me all weekend! I have equipped it with the alien catching gear that I ordered from Crop Circles Magazine," he gloated. "I -know- I will be able to expose Zim with this," he beamed.
"You spent an entire weekend working on that?" in one of those judging moments, she opened an eye from her squint to peer at her brother.
"Yes, well," he stammered. He supposed he could not have expected a shower of praise from Gaz, but at the same time he did not expect such an unenthusiastic reaction. Fortunately for Dib and his lack of articulation, the doorbell rang. "I will get it," he offered. He did not feel as fortunate when he opened the front door to see two of the Varsity football players looming over him, Vasquez and Russel. "Eep," he squeaked as the athletes presented some rather disturbing items, revealing the purpose of their visit.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
"Run Zim, run Zim, run Zim, run," an Invader panted as he raced down the hall of lockers at skool. Zim had about another half of an hour before another soul would arrive at the building, which gave him plenty of time.
"Here is good," he decided as he jumped next to a wall and slapped a sticky note with writing onto the structure. He ran to the adjacent wall and leapt up and stuck another note onto that wall. "If this is not love, I do not know what is," he stated to himself as he smacked another note to another wall of the skool. He paused for a second and looked at the ceiling above the main intersection of the skool hallway. He sprung up and down a few times to fruitlessly place another note onto the roof of the center of the building. "Daft," he muttered to himself as he released the spider-like legs from his pack and used them to boost him to the top of the intersection.
"Let these lockers be my tongue!" he released a loud battle cry and continued to plant sticky notes in random and frequent places of the High Skool.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
"Stupid, stupid," Dib repeatedly muttered to himself. "Stupid me, now that I mentioned dates at the Homecoming Dance, I have to find one or I will look incredibly dense," he murmured in disdain. "Stupid Zim, I will reveal him," he patted the tumor-like hat on his head.
The Membrane children were making their way to skool, and while Gaz was content playing her Gameslave on the way, Dib was clearly disgruntled.
"Stupid football players," garbled as he glared at the sidewalk he was about to walk on. "And stupid pantyhose!" he roared as he squirmed uncomfortably in his step.
It was the closest that Gaz had ever come to laughing like a maniac.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Upon reaching the Skool building, Gaz and Dib received some rather funny looks and snickers. Neither of them was really surprised, Dib felt like a living target that morning. However, when one girl whispered to another, "wow, that is Gaz, right there," the Membrane daughter was a little confused. Dib looked like a fool and people were only noticing her?
'What is wrong with everyone?' Gaz inwardly asked herself. She was wearing a purple sequined hat, but that was hardly reason to make her stand out; there were students who were sporting some incredibly bizarre headwear.
"Hey, look over there," Dib pointed to a bright green square on a wall. "Why are there so many sticky notes around here?" he asked no one in particular as he noted the numerous green notes spread on the walls. He hopped underneath one of them and plucked a note from its home above a locker. Dib quickly skimmed the paper and looked up to grin at his sister. "It looks like you have an admirer," he smirked.
His sister snatched the note from his grasp and read it aloud.
"From the east to western Ind, Gaz, a jewel, leaves them behind. If all fine pictures are lined, Gaz's looks leave them behind. No girls ever bear my mind, Gaz will leave them all behind."
Gaz stared at the sticky note in confusion, and finally spoke, "idiotic."
"Really," Dib agreed. Gaz shot him a menacing look, one that told him to just head to class and let her be. Unaware of this, Dib glanced over his sister's shoulder at the poor and pathetic poem and added, "Idiotic or not, I wonder who wrote this."
With impeccable timing, Zim marched to the siblings, unable to remove a victorious smile from his mouth. "Good morning, Gaz," he confidently greeted the girl. She almost pitied his ignorance. "Now that I have expressed my truly honest love, would you like to be my date for the Homecoming Dance?" he elatedly grinned.
"Heh," she curtly laughed at the alien and proceeded to walk to her first class.
Zim determinedly watched Gaz leave, starting to create new ways of convincing her to be his date. "So, where is you hat, Zim?" Dib leered at the distracted Invader.
"Eh?" he absent-mindedly asked as he first recognized that Dib was standing next to him. "Oh, I have brought my hat," he evilly grinned, "and it is much hattier that tumor on your enormous head."
"It is -not- a tumor!" he snapped. "And my head is -not- big!" he finally retorted. "I am a normal and average kid!" he exclaimed.
Zim snorted as he stepped back and surveyed the human boy. It was common knowledge that he had a gigantic head, and today he was wearing a hat that looked more like a swelling of that head. Besides that, he was wearing the most outrageous clothes the alien had ever seen a being wear. Dib was sporting a blue long-sleeved shirt with a yellow tank top over it with the word "sweet" printed on it in multiple bright colors. The tops were adorned with a reddish-pink dance skirt and leopard-printed tights. Zim could not help but snigger when he saw that his amusing outfit was completed with pink sequined high-heeled shoes.
Dib saw Zim snickering at him and frowned. "Someone tagged me, okay?" he defensively cried.
"Tagged?" Zim asked between fits of chuckling to himself.
"Yes, tagged," Dib sighed as he realized that he would have to explain. "Two upperclassmen came to my house today and made me wear these clothes. They are playing a joke with me, okay? I would not normally dress like this! I am just relieved that they forgot to bring make-up," he clarified in an irritated tone.
"Sure," Zim grinned at the boy's expense.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Mr. Bitters lovingly stroked the head of his favorite stuffed pig. "Well, Piggles, I have to start the class now," he softly spoke to the toy. He looked at the class, and observed that about five of the thirty students were wearing hats, and the Dib-student was wearing quite an amazing ensemble.
"Well, children," he began, "fortunately for you, the Skool board foresaw your lack of skool spirit." He opened a box next to his desk and continued to talk, "and they have provided these Hatsy Day hats for you to wear." He moved around the class and passed hats to all the students who were not wearing one already.
"No!" Dib objected. "You cannot give skool hats! It is a horrible scheme, I swear!"
"Kid," Mr. Bitters turned towards the boy, "no one believed you Friday, and no one will believe you today." Dib cringed at the teacher's bluntness.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Dib heaved a piteous sigh. Monday sure was horrible this week. First those cruel football players had to tag him. Then people bothered him about his hat, which was a complete failure, when he tried to use the machinery in it against Zim; it malfunctioned, leaving him with an ugly lump on his head. No one listened to him when he warned everyone about the skool hats. Gaz was being extra grumpy because of the attention she was receiving from Zim's sticky notes. To add to the woeful day, lunch was more gross than usual, a Homecoming special.
"Yie!" a girl across the cafeteria shrieked. Dib glanced from his lunch to the screaming girl. She was holding her head and blindly stumbling around the table she was sitting at moments ago. "It is stuck!" she shrieked, and when Dib saw that she was wearing one of the skool's hats, he did not hesitate to grab a small device from his book bag and dash from his location in the room to where she was staggering. Unfortunately, on his way to where she was panicking, he repeatedly tripped over the lady's shoes he was wearing, and by the time he reached her, she appeared to be on the verge of fainting.
"Okay, I am here to help you," Dib comforted, but the girl collapsed into his arms. He placed the gadget he had carried and placed it on the bottom edge of her hat. As she slipped into unconsciousness, Dib then went through such a complex technical process so complex that not even the author knew quite what he was doing. The machine started to fulfill a task on its own, and Dib took the time to recognize whom he was helping. The paranormal boy could remember her being in some of his classes, but the two never tried to get to know each other. She had hair of an extremely dark shade green, and when her eyes were open, they were a chocolate brown.
Suddenly, several more students in skool hats jumped from their seats and shouted in the same way that the girl had done earlier. Within seconds, about eighty percent of the student population was running about in a blind frenzy. One boy knocked the device off of the hat that the girl Dib was trying to help was wearing. "Shrike," he cursed under his breath. "I have to find Gaz," he determined.
Dib stood straight and lifted the girl into his arms. He hurried through the cafeteria, searching for his sister. "Back you horrible worm-babies!" Zim threatened as he swung a baguette at any student who came near him. Dib could perceive Gaz standing behind the alien, amazingly playing her Gameslave and muttering about how none of the chaos had better affect her gaming.
Dib made his way to the pair, while students were noticeably slowing their movements, appearing ready to give way to passing out. "Zim!" Dib called as he approached the defensive alien. Zim looked at Dib as the human advanced, and the Invader smacked Dib on the top of his head with the loaf. "Hey, this is serious," Dib scolded. "I need to help this girl before something happens to her. I tried to free her from the hat, but since I was disrupted, something serious could happen."
"What is wrong with the hats?" Zim eyed the human.
Dib perked a bit at the question, "as I have been trying to tell you all, the skool hats are machines. The skool is using the hats to control unsuspecting students into submission for paranormal activities. We need to free these students before the skool manipulates them, and I need to help this girl here!"
"That sounds like the stupid plot attempt of a piece of fiction," Gaz muttered.
"Indeed. One that was written my some asinine authoress who wants to corrupt innocent readers with accounts of Homecoming nonsense," Zim agreed. That hits way too close to home!
Dib considered this. "Yes, I suppose so...nevertheless, we need to do something."
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
For the first time in a very long while, Lex was absolutely petrified. She was lost in a strange void in which she was completely flummoxed. When she tried to move her arm to look at her hand, the limb felt miles away yet attached to her body at the same time. She had no idea when her eyes were open and when they were closed; for she could feel nothing and either way the world was filled with the same empty darkness.
"You," a strong voice authoritatively commanded. "You must obey," the noise spoke until a soft fizzing interrupted it. In a slightly lighter tone, it continued, "you must obey the duck!"
A high-pitched voice squeaked, "Would you like to buy a duck?"
The first one replied, "Does it quack?"
Lex could sense the higher quality of sound address her. "Does it quack?"
"Yes, it quacks," she uneasily replied. She was surprised at how distant her own speech appeared. She could feel that she was speaking, yet her voice sounded like it was being spoken a great distance above her.
The shrill voice answered the original one, "yes, it quacks."
"Does it have orange feathers?" the deeper voice inquired.
"Does it have orange feathers?" the screechy voice demanded from Lex once again.
"No, it does not have orange feathers." A smile crept across her imperceptible lips, "it has purple feathers with blue stripes."
The lighter voice squealed in excitement and focused on the original one, "no, it has purple feathers with blue stripes."
The first voice paused for a short while and appeared to think about the negotiation. "Can it hug a --?" the question was cut-off by a fizzing noise. This time the sizzling sound was louder and fiercer than the previous.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Lex opened her eyes to the face of a certain paranormal devotee with a swelling of fabric on his head. "Oh good," the boy indulged in a relieved smile. "Are you all right?"
Lex shakily nodded her head. "Yes, I think so."
"What happened?" Dib asked. "I mean, when you were," he began to stutter, "uhm, you know..." A faint blush rushed to his cheeks. 'Why can I not speak?' Dib mentally asked himself.
"In my head?" the emerald-haired girl offered. It was Dib's turn to silently nod. She lowered her eyelids halfway over her chocolate-brown pupils, "duck haggling."
"Eh?"
"Never mind. What happened-," she faltered, "ha-ppened o-out here?" she stammered. 'What is wrong with my tongue?' Lex questioned herself in her head.
"Can an explanation wait for later?" Zim barged into the uneasy moment. "I just want to be done with this," he grumbled.
"Why is that Zim? Can you not stand helping the -human- race?" Dib regained the confidence in his voice when he taunted the Invader.
"I only did it because I cannot conquer senseless stink-beasts!" he snapped, "Those are of no use to me. I need my minions to be capable," he defended. "Besides," he grinned, "Gaz is a human."
Dib glared at the alien, "Gaz cannot and will not date you."
"What makes you so sure of that, worm-baby?"
"Excuse me!" Lex cut in.
"Oh, Zim here is an alien," Dib stated factually.
Lex blinked and Zim huffed. "I am a normal infantile primate-being!" he claimed.
"Anyway," Lex pleaded, "I still do not know where we are or what is going on. Would someone like to explain?"
"In a seed's crust, the skool tried to brainwash children with hats. We," Zim grinned evilly, "-convinced- the principal to accessing us to the core of the hat's power and stopped further indoctrination of the students. Dib saved you personally with his inferior huma-I mean, his inferior tool," Zim briskly explained. "We are currently underneath the skool building where more of the deprogramming occurred. Satisfied?"
Lex blinked a few more times then exclaimed, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
"Sounds like a moronically cheesy tall-tale, eh?" Dib asked. Lex enthusiastically nodded her head in agreement.
"Now, let us go," Zim ordered. "Gaz is not here, and I am wasting my time in the ground of the skool."
"Right," Dib raised an eyebrow at Zim. "Well, technically the skool day is over, and everyone is okay. I guess that means we can go home now."
"What an incredibly ridiculous end to Hatsy day," Lex grumped.
OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO OeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeO
Hello hello! I apologize for the corny-ness of the ending of this chapter. I wanted to let Dib be openly correct about something. Unfortunately, it has turned out pretty inane. Ah well, such is life!
As for Lex, I do not want to leave Dib all alone for this story, so I am giving him a romantic interest. Oh-hoo, I sure hope no Dib-fans hate me for this. Lex and her personality are going to be a product of my imagination, so I hope everyone is okay with that!
Let me see, I think that is all I have to say for now. I hope no one is too upset with me for the silly hat plot here, I am sure the next chapter will be more bearable. Thank you for reading so far! Huggles for you! ^_^