A/N: Konnichiwa, one and all, and welcome to the second fic in the Taisuke Trilogy. Another two-chapterer, and as always dedicated to Debra, who commissioned it. We grovel.
The first fic in the trilogy is located here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=847049 It'd probably be best if you read that first, although this one can probably stand alone.
Warnings: Shounen-ai, with some yaoi. No lemon as yet (see next chapter). Flames will be used to toast marshmallows. Debra rules.
Disclaimers: Yes, I do own Digimon. I bought seventeen hundred shares in Toei and can therefore dictate what happens in the next series. Stand by for a complete reversal of Episode 50, as well as the canonisation of Taito, Daikeru and Kouori.
Well, I can dream, can't I?
I also don't own the copyright to Afraid To Sleep by Dido, and so the lyrics are used here without permission but with many thanks. She officially rocks.
Drop me a review at the end of this, ne? If you stay awake through it all, that is.






We slept in this room together
But now you're gone
And it's so quiet I turn
The TV on
We lived in this room together
We painted the walls
Now time doesn't stand still
It crawls...

There's not a sound in the house. Just wall-to-wall silence - not a whisper, not a single noise. Nothing.
I took the batteries out of all the clocks, you know. Just so I wouldn't have to hear that clack-clack-clack of the big one in the hall, or the quiet ticking of the one in the kitchen, or even the almost inaudible noise of the one by our...my bed. I didn't want to hear my life ticking away, every second wasted now you're gone.
The TV stands silent, the radio unused - no music today. Everything's off, even the 'fridge - I couldn't stand that interminable buzzing noise. The only sounds are my own breathing and my pulse throbbing in my ears - and without you here, they might as well be stilled completely.
Poetic, ne? Who'd have thought that thick-headed Taichi Yagami could be thinking stuff like this?
It's true, though. I lay awake all last night, while you invaded my thoughts and forced your way into my head. I didn't dare drift off - I knew the minute I did you'd be there, laughing and joking and being you, and I'd wake up to find you gone and cry my eyes out. And I'm afraid to sleep
'Cause if I do I'll dream of you
And dreams are always deep
On the pillow where I weep

Didn't think I was the romantic type, did you? You always used to tease me about having more hormones than heart, and maybe that was true at the time, but let's put it this way - now the house is empty, it isn't the sex I miss.
It's weird, saying it like that, because this house isn't empty. It's full with just me in it - with a 17-year-old still in school and a 20-year-old undergraduate working part-time, we couldn't exactly afford a palace. It's poky and small, but at least when you were here it felt alive. Now it just feels lifeless, dead.
That's it. It's not the house that's empty, it's me. You fitted so neatly, so perfectly into my life that now it's like someone took half the pieces out of my jigsaw.
I just want to ask - why him?

I never realised how much I was
In love with you
Until you started sleeping with
Someone new
Last night I dreamed again and
You were there
You kissed my face
You touched my hair

Why him, of all people? He's supposed to be my best friend, for god's sake, and then he goes and steals my fucking boyfriend!
When I found out, I was furious. Livid. Right then, I could easily have strangled both of you. I couldn't bear to think of you kissing him, touching him...
...sleeping with him.
I sat watching the door until you came home from soccer practice, then laid into you. It was all I could do to keep from punching you in the face. I ignored all your attempts at defence or explanation - I didn't care how much of a mistake it was, or if it'd only been the once, or that it meant nothing to you. At that moment, I just wanted you out of the house.
For three days I fumed - I couldn't believe you and Matt could've done that to me. I missed two essay deadlines and got a reprimand for mouthing off at a lecturer, then almost got fired from my job for yelling at a customer.
After that, I managed to curb my anger, but couldn't stop myself being unhappy. I cried tears of sadness instead of rage, wishing none of this had ever happened.
Tuesday was the worst. I walked into the bedroom and just broke down in tears. I couldn't stand the sight of the bed that we'd shared every night since you moved in. I wanted you back so badly.
There. I've said it. I want you back. I don't care that you slept with Matt, that you cheated on me with my best friend. I just want you back.
Tuesday was the last time I slept, too, quilt wrapped around me, pillow over my head to drown out those damn neighbours. I dreamt about you, then, dreamt you were lying next to me like before. Stroking my hair and whispering soft, meaningless words to me. Then you kissed me lightly, twining your fingers through my hair, and I reached out to touch you. It hurt so much when you faded away before my eyes.
You can't have any idea what that felt like, waking up to find the space next to me empty and cold. I cried for hours. Dai, come back. Please.

Lying alone in the darkness
With a memory in my head
There's a big hole where my heart is
And a lonely feeling rolling round my bed

And I'm afraid to sleep
'Cause if I do I'll dream of you
And dreams are always deep
On the pillow where I weep

Where did you go, when I threw you out? I know you didn't go to Matt's, because I rang him this morning. He expected me to scream and rail at him, like I did when he first told me. I remember that all too well - his soft, apologetic voice on the other end of the phone, and then all reason being swept away as the words 'I slept with Davis' sank into my brain. He didn't get the chance to say sorry - I just exploded at him.
He said sorry this morning, over and over and over. He was crying, too - very softly - and I didn't have it in me to be angry with him any more. I just asked him where you'd gone.
His best guess was that you'd gone to stay with your parents, but I didn't buy that for a moment. Not after how your dad reacted to hearing you were going to move in with me and - what were your words? - there was nothing he could do about, intolerant bigot that he was.
No, I think I know where you went. You always did run to Ken when you were hurt or confused. Breep, breep.
"Moshi, moshi. Ichijouji residence, Ken Ichijouji speaking."
"Um...hi, Ken."
"Good evening, Tai." Can't fault his politeness, but the voice doesn't match the sentiment - it's cold and hostile.
Well, fuck him. Time for the direct approach.
"Is Dai there?"
"No." Shit. "He was until a minute ago, though." Good. "He's on his way to see you, actually." Fantastic!
"Great! Thanks, Ken, I - "
"If you hurt him, I'll kill you."
Hang on just a bloody second! "If I hurt him?"
"Yes." Less hostile now, just calm and extremely deadly. "Do you really think that Dai would ever, ever hurt you?"
I'm practically spitting down the phone at him. "In that case, why the hell did he sleep with my best friend?"
"He told you, or tried to tell you. It was an accident and he made a mistake. You'd had a fight, and he ran to the closest person - Matt - until you'd cooled off. He was crying like anything, terrified he was going to lose you."
Ken sighed, his voice taking on a slightly more sympathetic tone. "Tai, you're very lucky. You may think Matt is more good-looking than you, and that may be true, but you've got a personality he'd kill for - lively and likeable and friendly. You could have anyone you wanted." Another sigh. "Damnit, Tai, Matt's not made of ice. He'd like to think so, but he isn't. He was lonely, in a way you'll never be. He didn't know whether he'd ever find anyone to love him. When you get like that, you do stupid things. Dai came running to him, and he reached out."
"He over-reached, you mean."
"Whatever. He apologised." I open my mouth to respond, but Ken keeps talking. "You don't understand, Tai. Matt is as sweet and gentle, as cheerful and outgoing as you are - once you get to know him. You know what he's like - he pushes people away, and if they let themselves be pushed, no-one ever gets close to him. That's why he was lonely, and why he did what he did."
Something finally clicks - a piece of the jigsaw fits, although I never thought of turning it this way before.
"You like him, don't you?"
Surprise, amusement and shyness all colour Ken's voice. "Whatever, Tai. Just don't hurt Davis."
"I won't" I promise, and I mean it. I love him, after all, and I want him back.

I swear, fate has a sense of humour. Not a minute after I've put the phone down, there's a soft knock at the door.
Slowly, giving myself time, I walk over to it and ease it open. Outside stands Dai, cinnamon hair plastered darkly against his head, coat gathered tightly around his hunched shoulders. I blink - I hadn't even heard it start raining.
He winces, bracing himself against another kind of storm, but the expected yell never comes. Instead, his face is a picture of surprise as I gather him in my arms and hold him tightly, not caring that he seems to be carrying an insane amount of water about his person.
That isn't helped when he starts to cry. Hot tears spill onto my shirt, almost scalding in contrast to the coldness of the rainwater.
I let him soak my shoulder for a long time, coiling strands of his sopping wet hair between my fingers and meeting every 'I'm sorry' with an answering 'It's OK...'
Finally he cries himself out, then raises red-rimmed eyes to meet mine. I stroke a tear from his cheek with the back on my finger, and he swallows hard.
"I'm sorry - "
"Stop saying that." I put a finger on his lips, but he shakes it off.
"No, Tai, I really am sorry. I - I still love you, even if you hate me..."
"I don't hate you." Damnit, Dai, it's all I can do not to wrap my arms around you and kiss you senseless!
He flicks his eyes down to the floor. "Well you should."
I can feel my stomach knot. Shit, have I made him feel like that? Quickly, I grab his head in both hands and force that lovely, crumpled, tear-stained face back up.
"Dai...I forgive you. Really I do."
He manages a watery half-smile, then begins crying again. I lean him back against my shoulder and stroke his back to calm him down.
"Shouldn't...need...to forgive," he hiccups in between sobs. "I shouldn't...have…been such...an idiot."
Time for shock therapy. I envelop him in a hug and kiss him, sacrificing gentleness for depth and emotion. He's startled for a moment, then leans his whole weight against me, absolutely exhausted. I stagger and break the kiss in order to catch him.
I stroke a few stray hairs out of his eyes, wondering how I could ever have been angry with such a beautiful, sensitive boy.
"I love you."
He smiles up at me, nestled snugly in my arms. "I love you too."
That's all we need to say. We know what's happened, and we no longer care. I certainly don't. I'm happy just to have him back where he belongs.
"Come on," I smile down at him, "let's get you out of those wet clothes before you get ill."
He pouts adorably, then proceeds to prove me right by sneezing hugely.
I lift him up into my arms - he's light enough, provided he doesn't struggle - and convey him through into the bedroom. Laying him down as carefully as if he were made of glass, I start unbuttoning his shirt.
By the time I've got him down to his boxers and wrapped in a quilt, a cup of steaming hot cocoa in one hand, he looks significantly better. His hair has dried and is sticking out at wild angles all over his head, and his eyes have lost that horrible haunted, bloodshot look. In short, he's almost back to his normal self.
An observation which is reinforced when he unwraps the quilt from around himself and pats the bed next to him. I resist the temptation for a moment, then go over and sit down next to him, taking him back into a hug and resting my chin on the top of his head as he wraps the quilt around both of us.
He snuggles up to me, and I can feel his warmth seeping through my clothes. I sigh contentedly, and he smiles up at me.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too, Dai-chan. It was quiet without you."
He grins. "I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment."
I kiss him on the tip of his adorable nose. "It's a compliment, honest."
"I believe you." He nuzzles my neck, breath warm against my skin, and I shiver contentedly.
"I think we'd both better get some sleep," I say, but he seems to have other ideas. He kisses me deeply, flicking his tongue against my lips until I part them and give him access. When he's satisfied that every inch of my mouth has been explored, he slides his mouth down my chin to my neck, kissing and nipping gently at the sensitive flesh.
"Dai...sleep?"
"We can sleep some other time," he murmurs, nibbling at my collarbone. Despite myself, I can feel my resolve wavering - he's very, very tempting.
"No, Dai," I tell him firmly. "Sleep. Everything else can wait."
He pouts, but I stand firm. I don't know about him, but I'm exhausted. Not to mention I have to put all those clock batteries back in tomorrow...
As we snuggle up together in our accustomed position, one last thought crosses my mind as I feel my eyes start to close.
I'm going to have to talk to Matt...