They Everyday Joe's Guide to surviving in the horror genre. Part Two.
by Orean Gunshin.
Diclaimer if it sounds like it comes from a movie or whatever I don't own it.
Orean: OK ladies and gents. This is the second part of the guide. It's the Survival Kit.
* * * * *
Orean: For staters we'll divide this into male and female kits. Being a gentelman I'll start with
the ladies kit.
* * * *
Orean: OK ladies this Kit I'll layout for you will protect you from the most notorious things in
this world. No I'm not talking about your boyfriends. Demons, monsters, and things that dwell in
the darkness are the nasty things you'll fear.
* * * *
They most frequent beast that will be encountered is the vampire. A good chance that it will want
to snack on you. Most vampires after you will be male, so trust nobody.
OK, a few things to help you survive against a vampire.
1) Holy water.
2) A wooden stake.
3) A Holy symbol.
4) A bright light.
Orean: I know this may be a bit bulky ladies, but I'll tell you how to carry it and make it less
likely to draw attention.
Holy water: Easy just mix it with your perfume or lotions and be sure to apply it completely.
Wooden Stakes: Just use lacquered chopsticks in your hair. It's a new look and it's a nice touch.
Holy Symbols: Just wear a silver cross or other small symbol of religon.
Bright Light: Simple an halogen flashlight.
Orean: These items should should deter an attack. Welll at least it will stun the creature.
The next most frequent thing you'll run into is a demon. Demons can be mortal or immortal. The
more powerfull ones tend to stay out of our plane of existence, unless they're planning some-
thing big. So I'll you have to worry about is lesser demons. I suggest you carry a weapon of some
sort.
1) Air Tazer. Why get close?
2) Extending Baton. Have club...Will bash heads.
3) A Knife. Back to basics.
4) Mace. Blind then and run.
5) A gun. Don't get caught.
Orean: don't carry all these things with you. One should suffice. You're just trying to live not
fight a war.
Unless you're Burt from the Tremors movies you won't be ready to deal with aliens or large
monsters. As far as ghosts and other things go...Run!
* * * *
Orean: OK guys there's a few things to say about what we need to worry about.
1) Female vampires. They will do anything to get into...the collar of your shirt.
2) Psycho killers. We're just a warm up for them.
3) Demons. We're food or worse for them.
4) Succubi. Female sex demons they only want us for one reason...Hey wait that's not so bad.
Orean: OK guys now I'll tell you how to stores equipment on your person in in your vehicle.
Except for the chopsticks the male has a counter part to all the female anti vampire kit. So just
assume the masculine version of the item on the list. Since guys don't have any thing that could
be used as stakes... Carry large oak pencils.
Orean: OK Vampires like girls more than guys or so it seems. So We'll deal with the major threat
to the male; demons and psychopathes.
1) Fire; oil lighters, flare guns, and mini torches. Most monsters and nutcases know...fire bad.
2) Concealable Bladed Weapon you know how to use. If it can bleed it can die...sometimes more
than once.
3) Blunt object; large mag light, baseball bat, fire exstingwisher (usefull on lot's of stuff),
a wrench, or the good old crowbar. Time to crack some skulls.
4) Projectile weapons. Gunslingers can often take out demon with ease, but it takes a bit to stop
guys like Jason.
5) A luck charm or unigue object. It will save your ass when you least expect it.
* * * *
Orean: That's a wrap for this section. The next chapter will be how to make a basic demon/
monster/ect. kit and tactics on how to deal with genral things that will prey on you and
vice versa.
L8erz,
Orean
by Orean Gunshin.
Diclaimer if it sounds like it comes from a movie or whatever I don't own it.
Orean: OK ladies and gents. This is the second part of the guide. It's the Survival Kit.
* * * * *
Orean: For staters we'll divide this into male and female kits. Being a gentelman I'll start with
the ladies kit.
* * * *
Orean: OK ladies this Kit I'll layout for you will protect you from the most notorious things in
this world. No I'm not talking about your boyfriends. Demons, monsters, and things that dwell in
the darkness are the nasty things you'll fear.
* * * *
They most frequent beast that will be encountered is the vampire. A good chance that it will want
to snack on you. Most vampires after you will be male, so trust nobody.
OK, a few things to help you survive against a vampire.
1) Holy water.
2) A wooden stake.
3) A Holy symbol.
4) A bright light.
Orean: I know this may be a bit bulky ladies, but I'll tell you how to carry it and make it less
likely to draw attention.
Holy water: Easy just mix it with your perfume or lotions and be sure to apply it completely.
Wooden Stakes: Just use lacquered chopsticks in your hair. It's a new look and it's a nice touch.
Holy Symbols: Just wear a silver cross or other small symbol of religon.
Bright Light: Simple an halogen flashlight.
Orean: These items should should deter an attack. Welll at least it will stun the creature.
The next most frequent thing you'll run into is a demon. Demons can be mortal or immortal. The
more powerfull ones tend to stay out of our plane of existence, unless they're planning some-
thing big. So I'll you have to worry about is lesser demons. I suggest you carry a weapon of some
sort.
1) Air Tazer. Why get close?
2) Extending Baton. Have club...Will bash heads.
3) A Knife. Back to basics.
4) Mace. Blind then and run.
5) A gun. Don't get caught.
Orean: don't carry all these things with you. One should suffice. You're just trying to live not
fight a war.
Unless you're Burt from the Tremors movies you won't be ready to deal with aliens or large
monsters. As far as ghosts and other things go...Run!
* * * *
Orean: OK guys there's a few things to say about what we need to worry about.
1) Female vampires. They will do anything to get into...the collar of your shirt.
2) Psycho killers. We're just a warm up for them.
3) Demons. We're food or worse for them.
4) Succubi. Female sex demons they only want us for one reason...Hey wait that's not so bad.
Orean: OK guys now I'll tell you how to stores equipment on your person in in your vehicle.
Except for the chopsticks the male has a counter part to all the female anti vampire kit. So just
assume the masculine version of the item on the list. Since guys don't have any thing that could
be used as stakes... Carry large oak pencils.
Orean: OK Vampires like girls more than guys or so it seems. So We'll deal with the major threat
to the male; demons and psychopathes.
1) Fire; oil lighters, flare guns, and mini torches. Most monsters and nutcases know...fire bad.
2) Concealable Bladed Weapon you know how to use. If it can bleed it can die...sometimes more
than once.
3) Blunt object; large mag light, baseball bat, fire exstingwisher (usefull on lot's of stuff),
a wrench, or the good old crowbar. Time to crack some skulls.
4) Projectile weapons. Gunslingers can often take out demon with ease, but it takes a bit to stop
guys like Jason.
5) A luck charm or unigue object. It will save your ass when you least expect it.
* * * *
Orean: That's a wrap for this section. The next chapter will be how to make a basic demon/
monster/ect. kit and tactics on how to deal with genral things that will prey on you and
vice versa.
L8erz,
Orean