Blood thirsty: * grins proudly * Wow! A review from THE Syvia! * bows down * I am in awe that my pukey little story could be worthy of any reviews!
Kain: She's staring at me…
Legolas: For God's sakes! I'm not staring at you! And I'm a guy!
Kain: Then cut your hair, you fem!
Legolas: Your hair is just as long as mine, you fem!
Kain: Yeah, but at least my face doesn't look like a housewife from the 50's.
Blood thirsty: okay, okay, break it up! Ahem, on with chapter two!
A/N: Okay… just to let you know, I stole DHA's idea… it was too tempting! I give lots of credit to her for this chapter! * bows down * I am in your debt!
*It was one week after the 'kitchen' incident, and Kain was starting to relax a bit. He shook his head, and rubbed his eyes. Ariel woke up as well, and grinned at him *
Ariel: Enjoying the floor? * In a taunting tone *
Kain: Oh, bite me. Tomorrow I get the bed. * He grumbles miserably and gets off the floor * You don't even need a bed.
Ariel: Shut up! And I thought biting people was your job.
Kain: * he narrows his eyes at her, and tries to think of a witty comeback, but fails and replies* Bite me.
Ariel: Speaking of jobs… what do you do?
Kain: I- well- I- I… don't have a job… * he blinks as the realization hits him *
Ariel: Then how are you going to support your family!
Kain: Um, Every Vampire for himself…?
*Ariel starts to scream and yell, waking the rest of the vampires in the house, as well as chase the frightened Kain out of the room*
Zephon: Gawd… someone shut them up…
Rahab: * sniffles a little * Why do Mom and Dad fight so much?
Dumah: Shadap! I'd like to sleep as long as possible! And besides, Ariel isn't even our mother!
Zephon: Thank the darkness for that. She'd be a bitch to deal with when that time of the month came.
Dumah: She's a fricken ghost! She doesn't get that!
Rahab: Both of you shut up!
*The three mumble to themselves and go back to sleep in the crowded bedroom *
*Meanwhile, in Raziel, Turel and Melchiah's room… *
Turel: Dad is so going to pay for this.
Raziel: You think you're mad at him? I still owe him for the whole abyss thing!
Melchiah: C'mon Raz, get over it already. It's not like he's gonna do it again.
Turel: Yeah… * snicker * There'd be nothing left of Raziel this time 'round.
Raziel: Quiet! * unsheathes the Soul Reaver (AKA his arm)* You wanna piece of this?!
*A silence follows, and Turel and Melchiah snuggle deeper into their beds, cowering at the glowing sword/arm. Raziel's eyes scrunch up in a smirk, and he falls asleep again. After about an hour, Kain starts the wake-up call *
Kain: Boys, get your butts out of bed before I bring out the super-soaker. * Rapping on the doors *
* The scrambling of claws against the floor can be heard, and before long, Zephon, followed by his brothers scoot out of their rooms, with Raziel taking up the rear *
Kain: Excellent. Now go downstairs and make your lunches.
Raziel: Uh, how are we supposed to go to school in the sunlight? I mean, I'm more evolved, but Rahab and them aren't…
Kain: Sunscreen, umbrellas, and a change of sleeping habits.
*All the other vampires groan, but proceed to the fridge to prepare their lunches for the day *
Rahab: Here, take… the 'tomato' juice, wink wink! * He proceeds to wink, and takes out the suspiciously dark red 'tomato' juice. They all nod and pack their lunches *
Turel: Why do we even have apples? We'll never eat them.
Kain: Every normal kid has one in their lunch, and we want to be normal! The last thing we need is a Buffy-wannabe on our case, now take the damned apples! * They all hand their apples to Zephon, and push him towards the sink *
Dumah: You can wash the apples now. Have fun!
Zephon: B-but that sink! It's out to get me! I swear! * His brothers proceed to corner him against the Pillar of balance, and he reluctantly takes the apples and walks towards the sink *
Dumah: Aw, don't be such a wuss! It's not out to get you. You're just paranoid.
Zephon: Just 'cause I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me. * He cautiously turns the tap on, and shields his face. When the water doesn't spray him, he looks relieved and washes the apples (with rubber gloves on, of course)* Hey, you know, this isn't so bad after all. I mean, we just had the plumber in last w-* He is cut off by the tap breaking, spraying him with water* Ahhhhhhhhh! It's in my eye! Gawd it burns!!
*While his brothers are rolling on the floor with laughter, Zephon runs around in circles. He runs right through Ariel, unfortunately sending a plate with eggs, pancakes and bacon flying right into Kain *
Rahab: Hey! Look everyone! Dad's an egghead! * Points to Kain with two sunny-side up eggs covering his eyes *
Raziel: * Holding his… err… holding where his stomach would be * H-holy frickin cow! Dad looks like one of those ladies who wears cucumbers on their faces!
Kain: * He ferociously rips the eggs of his eyes, and picks out the strips of bacon from his hair * Who…? * his voice is the usual deathly quiet tone. He looks around, and looks at the spurting sink and Zephon, rolling around in pain again * Turel! That's the third time this week! He's going to need therapy soon. Mark my words, if he does, it's coming out of your allowance!
Turel: It was Melchiah's idea!
Melchiah: Was not!
Turel: Was too!
Melchiah: Was n- * he is silenced by an anguished cry from his father *
Kain: Shut up! Shutupshutupshutup!! I go outside to get the freakin paper, and it's gone! Gone! How am I supposed to find work without the damned paper!?
Turel: *snickers * Try talking to the damned ghost! * Starts to laugh even harder until Ariel picks up a tray and smacks him *
Ariel: No more jokes about my damnation! * Continues to beat Turel over the head *
Kain: You fight like a woman! It's more like this. * He takes the tray and starts to beat Turel*
*There is a beep from outside, and everyone freezes. Ariel looks at the clock, and starts to scream *
Ariel: The school bus is here!!!! Dumah! Sunscreen! Rahab! Umbrella! Zephon… Just… go to bed.
Zephon: * Sticks his tongue out at his brothers, and limps up the stairs*
*The 'kids' rush out the door in a flash of dark blues, purples, and even blacks, umbrella's trailing behind them *
Kain: Now… to find out who stole my paper… * He grabs an umbrella, and proceeds outside *
*Kain looks around, and spots Moebius watering his lawn*
Kain: Oh it's you… Why the h- * He notices Moebius' wicked grin, along with holding the garden hose *
Moebius: Oh… I was just watering my lawn…
Kain: * mumbles something and glares at Moebius. A clap of thunder and lightening gets their attention. The source: A large, creepy looking Mansion at the end of the street *
Kain: Who lives there?
Moebius: * Shrugs * I don't know, he never comes out. And I don't know why that house was built on a place called 'Maple Street' either.
Kain: *Blinks * A-ha… okay then. I'm going to borrow someone else's paper, since someone stole mine… * Glares at Moebius with a suspicious glint in his eyes *
*Kain looks around, and notices a house across the street from him, with the front door open*
Kain: * Rings the doorbell * I'm sure he'll let me borrow the job section.
Vorador: Ye-Oh dear sweet God!
Kain: Vorador?! What the hell!!! Why is everyone living here!?
Vorador: Oh, I don't know… * Sarcastically * Maybe cause the Pillars are right there!? * Gestures to the Pillars standing behind Kain's house *
Kain: Well, that would explain a lot. Oh! I came here to ask if I could borrow your paper! Well, just the job section; I need to 'Provide for my family' as Ariel so nicely put it.
Vorador: Oh, heh. Here. * Hands Kain a paper with Kain's adress on it. Kain looks at it for a moment, and Vorador just realizes what he's done* Oh shi-
Kain: * Is choking Vorador* I'll kill you, you little bastard!
Vorador: Kain… I… am… your… father…
Kain: * Stops for a moment * …No you're not… sure, you're the 'father of all vampies', but your not MY dad. * Continues to choke Vorador until he gets bored of strangling Vorador, casually drops him and walks back to his house *
*Kain sits on his porch, flipping through the newspaper when someone steps into his patio. Kain says a mumbled " Hello" But doesn't stop looking at the paper*
????: Why hello there, neighbour. I live a few doors down. Heh, I guess I'd be like that band, 'Three doors down'; well, I'm only two, but oh well!
Kain: * Finally looks up, ready to tell his neighbour to 'feck off', when he goes even paler, (if possible)* Holy Shit! Why are you living here?!?!
Sarafan Lord: Kain?! No fecking way! You're not supposed to be here!
Kain: Get the hell off of my porch!
Sarafan Lord: I wanted this damned house first, but there were rumors that it was haunted… haunted by the ugliest and scariest of all ghosts...
Ariel: * From inside the house* Kain! Kick his ass for that!!
Sarafan Lord: Oh shit! * A frying pan comes out of the window, hitting the Sarafan Lord square in the head. He holds his throbbing noggin and stumbles off the porch *
Kain: Hey Ariel! Thanks!
Ariel: No problem. Now get in here and find a job, you bum.
Kain: Hey! If you think it's such a big deal, then you find me a freakin job. I'm going back to bed. *He does so*
Ariel: *To herself * Well… Kain want's me to find him a job… I'll find him a job all right… * she grins evilly *
Blood thirsty: Will Kain get stuck with a horrible job? Will Zephon find out about it? What will Vorador and the Sarafan Lord do with Kain as a neighbour? And what about the mansion? Will DHA sue me…? I hope not…
Kain: Sue her! No wait! Send her into the dungeons! Or to the guillotine!
Legolas: No… cut her fingers off one-by one… then, reach down her throat, and pull her intestines out of her throat, and strangle her with them… then stick needles in her eyes, and pour acid over the needles…
Kain & Blood thirsty: O.O;;;
Kain: What did you do to him?!
Legolas: *Laughs insanely * She killed him!
Blood thirsty: Ummm… Reviews anyone? A psychiatrist would be nice too… along with some morphine and a straightjacket…?
Thanks to AmuseMe, Sarryn, Syvia and Demon Hunter Anamae! Whoo hoo! Reviews! Hugs for all!