Author E-Mail: anneb_neilmacneill@hotmail.com

Summary: This takes place at the end of the book "Christy" by Catherine Marshall. I have quoted some parts from the book and please forgive me for paraphrasing a few sections from the book to tie this story and the book together. I have used a couple of segments from the CBS Series and possibly the PAX-TV Mini-series to bring out something's that readers might be more familiar with.

Disclaimer: the Marshall-LeSourd Family, L.L.C, owns Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy. I am in no way seeking profit or credit for her story. I am continuing the story of Christy for my own amusement; and hopefully yours as well. The writer of this story has invented any additions in story line and characters. The content of this story is the responsibility of the writer. Any similarities between this and other Fan fiction is purely coincidental.

Synopsis: 1) Christy is going to Asheville for the finally fitting of her wedding dress. 2) Christy tries on her wedding dress and reminisces about Neil.

-=*=- Prelude to Austria -=*=-

Chapter III

I read of a particular day Neil came to the mission. Miss Alice and I were alone. She allowed Neil and I to speak in the parlor. Neil looked solemn this evening as he walked to the window, not even looking at me at all.

"Christy, I don't think we should see each other anymore, other than in a professional manner, I mean." Neil admitted quietly.

Stunned by this statement I said, "But Neil, I thought you said you loved me?"

"I do Christy, but we're from two different world's! We'll never remain happy together. Can you honestly say you could remain in the Cove for the rest of your life and still be content?"

I knew enough about the Cove; as well as the joys and even heartaches there could be. I had remained here for quite some time already and was quite content to remain as long as I was needed. Either by the mission or by Neil. I desired to remain here more then ever now. Especially since I had discovered my love for Neil. "Yes, I *can* honestly say I could remain here Neil, for as long as you wish to remain."

"How can you be so sure?" Neil looked at me with what appeared almost to be a scowl on his face.

"I love the people, I love the mission and the work we are accomplishing here. We've made so many positive changes. You and I have discussed so many things we would like to see come to pass, further adult education classes, better sanitary conditions, improving your clinic…the list goes on and on! Do you think I would have made all of these plans if I hadn't a mind to remain in the Cove? Can you honestly believe I would have reciprocated your love without any thought to remaining here?"

"Possibly…" I placed my finger to my mouth in a sign of 'quiet'--the teacher in me I suppose.

"Do you honestly believe I would have continued to 'see' you if I didn't think there was a future for me here--with you?"

"You don't understand." Neil began, he seemed to have something very important on his mind that he had to say.

"Christy, I've never told you of my marriage. I believe that is something I am to get out into the open between us. Would you allow me to tell you about it?" Neil inquired.

I had heard quite a bit from Alice, but I realized Neil had something to say that *he* needed to get off his chest, so I would pretend not to have heard anything. "If you want to tell me, I'm listening, Neil, but you don't need to say anything if you don't want to."

"It's alright. It's been more then three years since her death, I think I can speak of it now. Not that we were happy together when she was alive." He paused. "I was in my first year of Post Graduate bedside training at Jefferson Hospital when I met Margaret. I loved her--once. But love borne of lust doesn't endure. I found that out much too late. Eventually the lust fades and you have nothing left. Besides Margaret never loved *me*, she loved what I represented--at least in her eyes--she thought of me as her inferior. Because she thought she was, and I am quoting her here, 'An accident born of man's lust'. Therefore someone such as myself, a "hillbilly", was perfect for her--I suppose she was right." Neil looked away from me.

"That's not true Neil!" I almost yelled, but my volume proved my adamancy in the fact that he was wrong in his assumptions of himself!! "I wish you could see yourself the way I do! You'd never feel inferior again!"

"Well--whatever--it's in the past now. What's done is done. I can look back and see what should have been done, as they say 'Hindsight is 20/20', but I still can't do anything about it!" He sighed deeply.

"Did you know that Margaret was Alice Henderson's daughter?" Neil asked. I was looking at the floor. I nodded my head slowly. "Has she told you the details surrounding Margaret's birth?" I nodded my head again.

"For awhile I believe she and I were becoming quite close. She seemed to see I needed her, as did Alice."

He walked slowly over to the fireplace, staring pensively into it. Placing another log on the fire, he breathed long and deep, a sad--mournful sigh escaped him. "Then she discovered her pregnancy--the summer scourge came early that year, I was away from home more then usual… All during her pregnancy Margaret was miserable. She often told me that perhaps it was wrong to perpetuate 'her kind'.

"Suddenly she missed her group of friends from Philadelphia; life in Cutter Gap seemed dull, devoid of intellectual stimulus. Once again she withdrew into herself and the hard gloss of old reappeared. With this attitude of depression, along with the Typhoid, she had little will to fight for her life. She went into premature labor and our son was born the day before his mother passed away. He was born much too early, Margaret was only seven months along when labor began.

"I delivered our baby myself. He was so tiny he fit into the palm of my hand. I wrapped him up and held him, talking to him as he slowly slipped away. He's in his mama's arms, I placed him there myself after they were both gone. Burying my wife and infant son was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life." Neil paused, a tear slid down his cheek and he tried to hide brushing it aside.

"You can stop if you want, Neil." I offered. "I don't need to hear anymore, especially if it's so painful for you."

He smiled slightly at me. "I'm alright, Christy, truly I am. It's only a bad memory. I don't mind telling you." He sighed again. "I couldn't understand why God would take away my whole family like that! Margaret and our son, plus my brother, my sister and our mother all died of Typhoid when I was very young. I was furious with Him. It cemented my belief that God wasn't real. That science was my god and from then on it would be the only god I would recognize…" He paused again.

I took his hand with tears in my eyes. "Why do you look so sad?" Neil asked.

"Because I can't see how anyone could do something so horrible, as Margaret did to you! I could never think of another human being that God created as inferior to myself!" I sobbed.

Neil looked at me then lifted my hand to look at it in his. Then he looked me in the eyes. "How can I be sure you would never be able to do that? How can I be sure it's me you love? How can I be sure that this is not just an infatuation?"

I held Neil's hand in both of mine. I wanted to hold it to my heart to show him how close I felt to him, how deeply I felt his pain and wished I could remove it! The tears in his eyes tore at my heart. "I want more then anything to remove your pain Neil!" I sobbed. "I would do anything to remove what you've gone through! Please let me try?" I pleaded. "Just give me a chance. I'll do my best to help you, to do what you expect of me, what you want of me; what you *need* of me. I have told you how I feel about you. If you cannot believe what I say then perhaps you do not trust me? But if that were so then how come you told me you loved me in the first place?"

Neil walked up to me looking me squarely in the eyes. I could hear him breathe, he was so close to me. He brushed the tears from my face. Resting his hand on the side of my face. His gaze was intense, a small part of me was frightened by the intensity, but an even larger part of me was thrilled by his nearness. I swallowed hard, unsure what I should do. His eyes held me like a pin to a butterfly. I couldn't move, not that I wanted to actually.

He leaned into my face even closer, I could feel his breath on my cheek. He allowed his lips to brush mine ever so lightly. I felt my breath catch in my throat. He leaned forward slightly more and placed a very gentle quick kiss on my lips. I opened my eyes to find him gazing intently at my mouth, he leaned forward and kissed me again, a bit longer and more intense then last time. I sighed deeply my breath quivering as it escaped me. I opened my eyes again to find him looking at me with longing. He brushed his thumb ever so softly across my lips. This time *he* sighed deeply. He moaned softly when my lips parted. He eagerly responded with a more intense kiss. This time he moved his hand from my cheek to the back of my head and I slipped my arms around his waist and held him tightly. He intensified his kiss and slid his other hand around my waist, drawing me closer to him. I matched the fervency of his kiss and he moved his hand from my neck to my back, he moaned softly as he rubbed my back. Gradually he drew away from me. We both stood gazing into each others eyes for quite some time, breathless and swooning.

Neil was the first to remove his gaze from mine. He looked at my hair then the rest of my face, stopping for only the briefest of moments on my mouth. He stepped back from me taking my hands in his. His gaze swept over me and back again. He sighed and so did I, as he did so. "I had better be going home." Neil stated. The last thing I wanted was for him to leave right now. But it was the right thing to do. Neil took my hand; that was the first time we had walked hand-in-hand as well.

At the bottom of the mission porch steps Neil released my hand. He placed his hand on my cheek. He leaned his face into mine so close I could once again feel his breath on my face. "I love you, Christy." He whispered softly. "Thank-you for--*everything*!" He stroked my cheek.

"I love you too, Neil." I whispered as he looked longingly at me, but backed away slowly. He slid his hand reluctantly from my cheek then sighed as he turned on his heel and headed for the barn.

I held my hand to my cheek remembering where his fingers had been; not wanting to forget how it felt. I watched as Neil entered the barn and I stood waiting for him to exit with his horse. I watched him mount Charlie and he raised his gloved hand toward me as a gesture of 'good-bye'. I watched him ride up the incline toward the schoolhouse then past the school and onward toward his cabin. I stood watching until he was but a speck on the horizon then faded into nothingness. Then and only then did it even occur to me to turn and ascend the porch stairs.

I couldn't sleep that night. Too many things were racing through my mind. Most especially that kiss. Inside I had a strange feeling something wasn't right…

When five days passed and I hadn't seen any sign of Neil nor had I heard of any emergencies that would have kept him away for this long, I began to worry…

I rode out to Neil's cabin, his horse was in the corral and there was smoke coming from the chimney, so he must be here somewhere. I knocked on the door to his cabin…no answer. I walked around the property, along the river, but no sign of Neil anywhere. I decided to leave him a note so he would know I wanted to speak with him, to be sure he was alright.

I went to the front door and tried to open it…'Strange.' I thought to myself, 'it seems to be locked from the inside.' "Neil?" I called as I tried the door again. 'Yes the door was locked from the inside.' "It's me, Christy…Are you alright? I haven't seen or heard anything from you in five days. I'm worried about you. Please answer me Neil!"

………………Silence…………………

"Neil, if you're angry with me because of the other night, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do anything wrong! Please speak to me, give me a chance to explain!" More silence. "We have to talk about this! Why are you trying to drive me away? I don't understand--I don't know what's troubling you! Why are you angry with me? It was only a kiss…" It was considerably more then that-- to me, but I would not go into any greater detail then I had already.

I longed to speak with him. To have him tell me what was in his heart, but he would have no part of it. I leaned against the door, my heart pounding hard in my chest. I felt the tears as they stung my eyes. I had no idea what was going on and why Neil had, had this sudden change of heart!

I turned toward the door and placed my hand on it, leaning my head in to the door so Neil would hear me better. "I still love you, Neil. Please forgive me if I've done something wrong. I have no idea what I've done, but I beg you to give me a chance to explain at least! Please!?!" I could hear Neil moving inside, but he seemed to be walking away from the door and not toward it. "I meant what I said, Neil. I love you, there's no one I'd rather be with then you. If this is because you feel you can't trust me then I wish you would explain to me why you do not. Allow me a chance to explain. I'm sorry if I've done something wrong--I didn't mean to…" The tears in my eyes and the lump in my throat would not allow me to continue.

When I realized Neil was not going to answer the door I turned slowly and descended the stairs toward Buttons. As I removed the reigns from the post out front I glanced up one last time at the cabin, looking around at the windows.

Mounting Buttons I rode a ways off, I had the feeling I was being watched. Drawing up the reigns Buttons halted and I looked around me, I saw no one in the immediate area. I turned all the way around and noticed Neil in the upstairs window looking down at me. I brushed the tears from my face as our eyes locked. He had no smile, his face looked rather lost and alone, at least it seemed that way to me. But if that is the way he felt, then why wouldn't he speak to me? I turned slowly around and rode back to the mission. I gave Buttons her head and allowed her to take me home. I was sobbing relentlessly and could be of little use to her in any case.

-=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=-

End of Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Coming Soon!!