Bloodthirsty: Yeah yeah. Go ahead. Laugh. I've cracked. I'm no longer Blood thirsty, but Bloodthirsty. So sue me.
Kain: sure.
Bloodthirsty: not literally! Sheesh. Lighten up, pal. ^-^ This chapter should be good!
Kain: That can't be good…
Kain is at work, walking around taking orders and trying to be friendly, though the customers aren't helping the situation.
Random Customer: Your finger was in my water! I demand a free lunch!
Kain: * clenches his teeth * No… my finger was not in your water. If it was, it would be burning.
Customer: So your saying you put acid in my water!? I'm sooo suing you!
Kain: Why you ungrateful little mortal… * reaches for a knife *
Manager:* sneaks up behind him * Uh uh. No can do. We need to talk…
Kain: * Looking exasperated and pissed off * For the love of- * The manager grabs him by the ear and drags him into the very back room *
Manager: You know, with the way you were acting, I think you want punishment… * Takes a strand of her hair and twirls it seductively *
Kain: Does that mean I'm getting fired? Because I have a family to support and-
Manager: Shh… I understand… * bats her eyelashes at him * You'll just have to…
Kain: This is blackmail, isn't it?
Manager: More or less, yeah.
Kain: Aw, damnit.
At school…
Rahab: Well… this is where we septerate. What does everyone have?
Vampire Raziel: I have… math.
Melchaih: Haha! Sucker!
Vampire Raziel: What?
SR Raziel: Well, your alter-ego is the math teacher.
Vampire Raziel: You teach math?
SR Raziel: * blank stare * Okay… your alter-alter-ego.
Vampire Raziel: Is he as beautiful as me? * All his brothers snigger *
Turel: Well, I have the same class as you, so I guess we're stuck with him.
Melchiah: I have English. How about you guys?
Dumah and Rahab: We have Phys Ed.
Rahab: Aw. I want English.
Dumah: Heh, I'm not complaining. I think I'll like Physical education.
Turel: * Snidely * Wow, that was… * counts on his claws until he reaches six, then he runs out of claws * Damn! Rahab! How many syllables was that?
Rahab: * sighs and shakes his head * Seven.
Turel: Ha! That was seven syllables. You sure it's not too big of a word for you?
Rahab: Man, you should have quit when you were ahead. Dumah, we should get going.
SR Raziel: I have… French? Since when did I sign on for French? Ah well. Wonder what Zephon is up to…
All brothers: Who cares?
At home…
Zephon: Aw man. This is too boring. Ariel! What's there to do around here?
Ariel: * is busy taking care of the toddlers * I don't care! Just don't do anything destructive!
Zephon: * snorts * Yeah right. Okay then… * saunters into the kitchen and opens the fridge * Now… what do I want…
????: you don't want anything from the fridge…
Zephon: I don't? Why- hey! Who said that…? * looks around suspiciously *
????: Over heerrrreee….
Zephon: Where?
????: Heeerrreeee…
Zephon: Where the hell is 'here'?!
Sink: I'm the sink you nincompoop!
Zephon: Oh, oka- bloody hell! The sink is taking to me! I'm loosing it! * starts to gasp for breath * Okay… just get some blood and leave…
Sink: Nooo… go to the counter… pick up the knife… * All of a sudden, the lighting changes from regular to red and blue, focusing on the butcher's knife sitting on the kitchen counter *
Zephon: Whoa… intense… * starts to slowly walk towards the counter *
Sink: Thaaat's right… now pick it up… * Zephon picks up the knife and twirls it idly between his claws * Good… now see little Suzy? Kill her…
Zephon: Yes master…. * walks towards little Suzy menacingly, holding the knife in a psychotic way *
Ariel: * floats in, looking frantic * Now where did little Suzy g-oh my gawd! Zephon no!
Zephon: * blinks and drops the knife * Wha… what happened?
Ariel: You could have killed her! What were you doing with that knife!?
Zephon: I uhh… The sink told me to…?
Ariel: All right. That is enough. When Kain comes home, he is taking you to a doctor!
Zephon: But it's true! I swear!
Ariel: * smiles sadly at him * Of course it is, sweety… Now why don't you go upstairs and rest…
Zephon: whatever…
Back at the diner…
Manager: C'mon Kain! There is nothing wrong with a good relationship between an employee and his employer!
Kain: There is when the employer tries to grope the employee! Now stay back!
Manager: Aw, your no fun! How well can a ghost satisfy your manly needs…?
Kain: * Looks extremely revolted * Probably better than you can!
Manager: We'll see about that… * she is about to lunge at Kain, but another employee walks in, holding a phone *
Employee: Phone call for Kain.
Kain: Thank the dark gods! * takes the phone and exits * …yeah? Melchiah! I could kiss you!… what? No I'm not stoned!… in trouble? I can't fight all your battles you know… What? They need me to come over!! I'll be there in five minutes flat!
Manager: Who was that?
Kain: My son! And guess who has to go to his school? * grins evilly * So long sucker! * races out and jumps into his car. And yes, in five minutes flat, he manages to get to the school, and into the office *
Melchiah: Hey Dad…
Kain: What is it- holy sweet monkey! * looks at his teacher * Melchiah?
English teacher: My name is Mr. Nelson. I have something I think you and the principle need to discuss.
Kain: What would that be? * Still gawking at the Sarafan Melchiah *
Mr. Nelson: Your son tried to skin someone. I think he has some issues.
Kain: Yeah well, who doesn't have issues. * A busy-looking secretary walks in *
Secretary: The principle will see you now.
Melchiah: * looks at Kain meekly * I swear! It was too perfect! He was just my size!
Kain: Did you maim this student?
Melchiah: Hell yes!
Kain: I'm proud to be your father. Now lets waste this jerkass principle.
Melchiah: All right!
The two walk into the principals' office, and are immediately re-thinking their plan of action. It's extremely dark, and has a large black chair with the back facing them. The principal is rocking ever-so-lightly, making a nerve wracking squeak.
Principal: So who do we have to deal with now? Spitballs? Hair-pulling?
Kain: Actually, skinning and maiming.
Principal: wha- * the chair pivots *
Kain: Malek?!
Malek: Kain?!
Melchiah:… this can't be good… Dad, lets just leave!
Kain: Not a hope in hell! My child has every right to maim a puny mortal!
Malek: Then I have every right to maim a disgusting vampire!
Kain: I'd like to see you try! * the two glare at each other *
Malek: Fine. Your little brat is expelled!
Melchiah! All right!
Kain: That means your staying home with Zephon.
Melchiah: No! I'll be good! I swear! I won't even flick anyone! For the love of all that is unholy, let me stay!!!!
Kain: Whatever… you haven't heard the last of me, you disgusting Sarafan.
Malek: Same to you, you parasite. And your kid is still expelled!
Kain and Melchiah leave, though Kain does a not-so-friendly hand gesture. They arrive home to a hysterical Ariel.
Ariel: Kain! Zephon has lost it! He's trying to kill me, but I'm already dead!
Zephon: Meat!! * Lunges at Melchiah, taking off both of his arms *
Melchiah: Ahhh!!! Holy crap!
Zephon: The sink doesn't like you, Melchiah! You're a baaaaad little vampire!!! It's going to KILL you! * cackles evilly *
Kain: the hell…? Zephon, calm down! Christ, what did you feed this kid, Ariel?
Ariel: Nothing! He said that the sink was talking to him, so I sent him to his room! After about five minutes, he came racing down the stairs trying to stab me with a pen!
Kain: * Dodges Zephon's stabbing motion * Holy sh-
Ariel: Language! There are little children around! I do run a nursery after all.
Kain: Whatever. Mel- what the hell? Where's Melchiah?!
Melchiah: * Zephon is trying to shove him down the sink * Dad!!! Help meee!!!
Zephon: The sink needs sacrifices! Do you hear me?! Sacrifices!!!! * cackles evilly *
Kain: Screw this! I am in no mood to deal with this! * Picks up Zephon with one hand, and Melchiah with the other and tosses them into the living room * This little shenanigan has gone on long enough! * Reaches under the counter and gets Drain-X. He pours it down the sink, to much protesting of the sink itself. After he does, a bright light irrupts out of the sink *
Ariel: What the hell was that?
Melchiah: …Zephon…?
Zephon: *His voice is much, much much deeper and his head does a 360 spin before he responds to Melchiah * Yessss…?
Melchaih: Oh shit! Daaaaaaaad!!! Zephon's possessed!
Kain: Ah for the love of… All right, demon. Get the hell outta my son!
Demon/Zephon: Why don't you make me? * vomits pea soup onto Kain *
Kain: Ew! That's the second time in a week! Goddamnit! I'm putting up an anti-ralphing law in this- *gets vomited on again *
Melchiah: * trying to crawl away with only his legs * Help meee!!
Ariel: Get him upstairs! We need an exorcist!
Kain: The hell with that! I don't want to have a Priest on my ass for being a vampire! We'll watch the movie and exorcise him ourselves.
Kain drags Zephon up the stairs, and throws him into the room, and locks the door.
Ariel: Good Lord! If you want to preform this exorcist thing, then you're the one who has to watch the movie. I have kids to tend to. * She floats away to find the toddlers *
Kain jumps in the car yet again, races to the video, grabs a copy of 'the exorcist' and rushes back home.
Back at school…
Rahab: Finally! Language arts! Seeing you as the phys. Ed. teacher was too weird…
Dumah: Yeah… you know, there have been rumors that Melchiah has been expelled…
Rahab: Melchiah?! Our Melchiah?
Dumah: Do you see any other Melchiahs around here? * Just as he says that, the English teacher walks in * … I stand corrected.
Mr. Nelson: Well, well, well… The older brothers of little Melchiah, correct? * The two vampires nod, unsure of what to do * I got that little freak expelled, and I'll have no problems getting you two expelled.
Rahab and Dumah look at each other, but just sit down and stay quiet.
Mr. Nelson: Now who can tell me- * Rahab raises his hand, already sure of the answer *
Rahab: It's-
Mr. Nelson: Silence!!!!!!!!!! No one interrupts me like that! Talk when you are not spoken to again, and I shall make sure you never want to speak again!
Rahab: Yes s-
Mr. Nelson: What did I just tell you?!?! * Veins in his forehead are popping up *
Rahab: But you just spoke to-
Mr. Nelson: If you talk out of turn again, your going down to see Mr. Malek!!!!! * Rahab and Dumah's eyes widen, and they immediately shrink back into their seats * Hehe… that's better.
Now, onto French with Vampire Raziel and Turel…
Mr. Z: All right! Do we have everyone?
Turel: * Whispering to Raziel * Shit! It's Zephon! He's gonna be a complete psycho!
Vraziel: Uh Turel?
Turel: He'll be vicious and ruthless and- * Is tapped on the shoulder by Mr. Z * Ahhh!!!!
Mr. Z.: Now why would you think that? You don't even know me! I'm willing to forgive and forget if you're willing to give me a chance. * Cheesy smile *
Turel: What the…? * Mr. Z. Extends his hand for Turel to shake *
Raziel: My gawd! Zephon would have a fit if he found out he was a pansy as a human!
Turel: I get dibs on telling him!
Now, onto Soul Reaver Raziel with history…
Our little blue friend is sitting next to a girl with blond curls and bright blue eyes. He looks extremely nervous, as his skin is blue; not a normality in humans.
Girl: My name's Betty. Whats yours?
SR Raziel: Uh… Raziel…
Betty: Don't worry. We're all very accepting. Especially Mr. Tucker. * Yeah, you guessed it. Sarafan Turel walks in, looking extremely happy until he sees Raziel *
Mr. Tucker: I'm so sorry about your little brother getting expelled.
SR Raziel: Well, you know… bad stuff happens… * looks nervous. There's just something about this guy that seems so unlike Turel… *
Betty: He's really nice. Everyone in this school respects him, which was kind of unexpected considering he's gay.
SR Raziel: * His eyes widen and if he could, he would be smirking until his mouth fell off * Oh gawd! I can't wait to tell Turel that he's gay! * he beings to laugh hysterically at the thought of womanizing Turel being Gay as a Sarafan *
Betty: * Her eyes narrow * what are you laughing at, blue boy?
SR Raziel: * Between fits of laughter * …Can't wait to tell… Turel he's gay! * stops laughing as everyone in the class glares at him *
Random student: You'd think a blue freak would be accepting, wouldn't you? * Glares at Raziel *
SR Raziel: No, that's not why I'm laughing. It's because-
Random student: Get him!!! * All the student stampede after him, and he races out of the classroom *
Bloodthirsty: Bwah! What will happen with Turel? Will Kain be able to perform the exorcism? Who the hell lives in the Mansion down the street? Find out later! Bwah hahhaa!
Kain: Pathetic… really pathetic.
Bloodthirsty: Whatever… * glares *
I apologize for the shortness of the teacher/student interaction. I'll get into it a little more later in the story, promise! Oh man… this is gonna be a very long story… lol, hope ya don't mind! Thanks to everyone for reviewing!!!!!! I love you guys!!! * tosses Janos plushies at everyone *